Sadhguru: Wherever you sit, stand, whatever you touch,
there is memory and transaction happening all the time. It must be a conscious process, if it’s a compulsive
process then you will pay the price for it. It is not that this is sin that is sin. The question
is what is your priority in your life. Moderator (Ria): Sadhguru, how can a person
stay committed to someone in a relationship? Is it natural to love someone and yet be sexually
attracted to others? What should be the proper course of action
that should follow or how does one handle this? Sadhguru: See, there is a psychological integrity,
there is emotional integrity, but there is a biological integrity also. Integrity does not
mean morality. Integrity means you create a situation where
it works best for you. So when we say integrity, suppose I say there
is a certain integrity to my body, this means it’s strong and resistant to a whole lot
of things, isn't it? It doesn’t mean I am morally stuck in something.
So I am talking about… I want you to understand the word integrity
in that context. We are talking about integrity in terms of strength
of this life. So if that is the thing, is it true… Do you remember how your great-great-great-great-
great-grandmother, ten generations ago looked like? Do you remember? No! But her nose is sitting
on your face (Laughter). Yes or no? Body remembers, isn't it? Body remembers your
forefathers a million years ago, yes or no? So what you're calling as my body is a heap
of memory, isn't it so? Hmm? Moderator (Ria): Yes. Sadhguru: Memory or no? See, now from Nepal you
came to Shillong, you eat a lot of this Meghalaya food, your features won’t change. Because your body
remembers what is your genetics, no matter what. Or you start eating let’s say cow’s food
or dog’s food, your body will not get confused and become a dog or a cow, because there is
evolutionary memory in this. Do what you want, it never gets confused,
isn't it? You start thinking “I am a dog” and start barking like
one, still the body won’t change, yes or no? Mentally you can, but body has such a deep
rooted memory. So this entire body what you have is essentially
a certain integrity of memory. If that loses that memory integrity, then you will
see it will become vulnerable to so many things. Now the nature of the body is such that anything
that you touch with a certain level of involvement will naturally absorb that memory, not mentally,
physically it will absorb that memory. In… Traditionally in this culture we call this
runanubandha, you’ve heard of such a word? Hmm? Runanubandha. What this means is,
physical memory that you gather. Why people… You know, you will see this with people.
Let’s say in their home, they will go and sit in one place. This will… Usually the older people you will see, they
want to go and sit in the same place. They won’t sit in another place, have you
noticed this? Moderator (Ria): Yes. Sadhguru: Even your dog, he comes if he
wants to sit here, he’ll smell this, he’ll smell that, he’ll smell that,
he’ll smell that and after much searching he will settle down in that particular place.
Next time you chase him somewhere, he comes, he goes and sits in the same place.
Because there is memory. Today there is forensic equipment, where you
are sitting here right now, you went away, after two, three, eight hours if they come; not with
a…a dog, a dog can easily do it; but with forensic equipment we come here
and just check this chair and we know it was you who was sitting here,
not somebody else. So there is memory. Wherever you sit, stand, whatever you touch,
there is memory and transaction happening all the time. Well, you come from Nepal, in India also it’s very
much there, in south it’s very strongly there, north maybe it’s become weakened; we… people
never give salt to another person, do you know this? Here also? If somebody gives you salt, you say
“Please keep it there,” because there are certain materials which transmit
memory much better than others. Salt, sesame seeds, lemons, like this if you give,
traditional people they’ll say “Keep it there, I will take it.” Because they don’t want to develop Runanubandha
to you… with you. Now, in India if you see older generation
of people, if you try to shake their hands, they’ll do…do like this (Gestures namaskaram)
because they don’t want to get runanubandha with you. Because the idea is to keep the integrity
of your body’s memory in such a way that it doesn’t become vulnerable to other things,
that you become a very integrated life. If you want to nurture yourself to be a certain possibility,
then you have to maintain the memory integrity. This is what runanubandha means, you keep
your physical memory to the minimal. A sexual interaction is something where a huge
amount of memory is taken from one to the other. So, always, not in this society, everywhere
else, forever people saw the advantage of keeping that memory to the minimal.
If you make that memory very complex, you will see to be at ease will become
very difficult, after sometime. There will be pleasure but there’ll be no joy in your life.
You can observe people, don’t go by what I am saying. You can observe people, they will have pleasure,
they will giggle all the time but you look at them, there is no joy in them, there is no ease. Because
the ease will go away with excessive memory. This is not only with sexuality, there are
many other things that you do like this. Right now you see this very much in the
western societies. Wherever I go, especially in America, people
will come, “Sadhguru, where is my hug?” I say, “It must be with you (Laughter),
why is it with me, hmm (Laughs)?” It is not like at a certain moment when you
feel close to somebody you hug them. It’s like all the time, you have to touch people
because today’s psychiatrists are analyzing these things and saying that is because they’ve not been sufficiently
touched by their mothers and parents at an early age. When they grow up, they desperately longing
to touch somebody all the time. All these things have a serious impact on one’s life,
how much physical contact when the child is born. This will determine how much physical contact
they will long for later on. And the memory of what an infant picks up from
the mother at that time, because till a child becomes four-and-a-half years of age, in many
ways energy wise it’s not a separate life. It’s still attached to the mother’s body. Actually,
if by nature if people go, till then they must be drinking the mother’s milk and connected
up to four-and-a-half years, that’s how naturally it was. So the energy doesn’t mature; at that time more and
more memory that you come… get from the mother is better and better to strengthen this.
But once the child begins to move out and becomes an individual, life is organizing itself.
People come to me and say, “Sadhguru, can you bless my daughter, can you
bless my son?” First thing I ask is, “How old?” If they say fifteen, sixteen, eighteen, all right.
If they are over twenty-one, I say “no.” Because me blessing you, blessing will not go to your
child, you may still think emotionally “that’s my child” but as far as life is concerned, it’s become
fully separate. Generally the course of life is considered to
be approximately eighty-four years or 1008 cycles of the moon. The cycles of the moon
and our body is very directly connected. Only because our mothers’ bodies were in
sync with the cycles of the moon, we are born. Otherwise we wouldn’t be born, isn't it? Hello?
So, a full life is considered 1008 cycles of the moon, which will approximately considered as
eighty-three to eighty-four years. So if one crosses eighty-four, it is considered a full life.
In this the first quarter is the only time when it is connected to parentage.
After that the child must move. Because energy wise you cannot connect those
two lives anymore. So that is when the longing, if you’ve not
created enough integrity within yourself, the longing for another body multiplies. Even though
the hormonal phase may be higher between fifteen-to-twenty, the longing to bind and bond
with somebody increases after twenty-one years of age because unknowingly you have… you are like a
satellite who fell off the main mother. You come off the motherboard. Now you want to
attach to something, unless you find some integrity. This is why between twelve and eighteen, one
must do lot of sadhana to strengthen the body, so that you don’t desperately bind yourself
to something or somebody. You must consciously, if you wish to take
a partner, it must be a conscious process. If it’s a compulsive process then you will pay
the price for it. This is not a question of morality. It is not that this is sin that is sin. The question
is what is your priority in your life. If your priority is to make this life rise to a higher
possibility, then you must be conscious. If you want to somehow live and go, it’s okay
(Laughs/Applause). Moderator (Ria): Thank you, Sadhguru. Sadhguru: I am sorry if I discouraged (Laughter). Moderator (Ria): You just answered my question,
Sadhguru, thank you so much for that (Laughs).
