Chris Rock ROASTING People

now you gotta watch where you sit everybody can't sit 50 Dench I'll roll you can't sit jay-z their knives everybody gotta watch out for you got the Olsen twins over there so then you got to put our Kelly way up there they said no just see Smollett jokes what the hell is he thinking from now I never would know just your Jessie from now on don't even get the you no mo that you was respect so you'll get no respect from me I really like to fight for jobs I hate the feeling of suddenly being like oh well you know Kristin can have it because she'll just because she can I I am you know what I mean I don't know what the hell you [Music] okay everybody's better than me all the parts were Mexican yeah Jana got mad Jana said she's not coming Jada's going boycott Bassett Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties I wasn't invited the kid on the show plays you was a young man he plays me as a young man plays for me as a child you know right you know you know he's a good child actors weird how I found him I was I was riding by the Neverland Ranch right [Music] kid this trains got headphones so now everybody's trying to get headphone 50 sync guy headphones Rick Ross even has headphones as I drag out beats Rick Ross has diabetes rick ross gonna be the first rapper to die of breast cancer guys right Jennifer Lopez here tonight Jennifer Lopez that's right that's right she came with two limos one for how fast [Applause] oh yeah you don't think yes or no I see Jennifer on TV thinking of mom and dad in a hackney-coach Thank You ass girl thank you that's my foot ass go solo to the actors the star the show Jennifer just the Commodores the hats is Lionel Richie okay how you doing what the hell it's just it just gone you sound like an old-ass man at my age the warranty begins to run out yeah I don't know and people say well dear do you feel all right otherwise no I feel like help well more or less I don't know I don't know that it would hold up in court you know rich man you can just go home wife's no manager I don't feel so good why am I gonna drive back to Connecticut yeah to a mean woman I'm gonna stay here do this I love you honey [Applause] let's talk in the cave baby and tell me about you I know the last time you were here you're just about to go on a world tour or just finish the world tour how do you do that not to a Dave you ever get sick when you're out there on the rock do get sick Dave and if my wife is mad at me I just add on shows [Laughter] oh yeah we got a new Roanoke next week well no not much I can say backstage if fired all the cute girls you got a butcher fat old guys [Applause] it's horrible man the vibe is just hot today can't take it I'd say some some of those guys you starting look pretty good the only and when people act like they're not mad they lost but I remember one year when our Halle Berry won the Oscar Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide she shouldn't want to any actor Oscars but huh great performance on the show I let him watch his own I don't understand there's a growing up Gotti oh yeah the goddamn TV show Network executive was like yes the murderer guy is children should have a TV show what sponsors advertise on the Gotti shows yes Nabisco is proud to present this next murder is provides of it means oj co have a show and the last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart okay I don't need that cab cab right there can make movies fast every month porno stars don't make movies that fast you have to know all the movies I've watched some of them you know some of them any clunkers anything you like it on good there's some good one yeah yeah what are you trying to get me to say man any client anyone you've entered in my movies that goes without saying but anything anything I do I know I'm not I know I did my favorite show in the house is being Bobby Brown yeah cuz it's because you watching oh hey Whitney's messed up too used to think it was just Bob and they just keep that's the one reality show they let the camera just roll yeah they don't cut off nothing you know one day I saw them just doing a they ran out of crack and they started doing a crack dance so the crack would start raining from the sky fun to be doing a show in New York New York New York the home of the crack priest we got a crack priests in New York talking about the priest was recently caught smoking crack while writing the sermon sermon sound like God created crack BCR [Applause] even the kitchen eggplant you know that's hard enough as it is in good midget why would you want to be a black midget why would you do that don't call midget call five real name little dirty bastard that's right yeah we got a black rocky this year yes some people call it Creed I call it black rocket and that's a big that's that's an unbelievable statement that I mean cuz rocking takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black athletes so Iraqis a science fiction movie the biggest news this year of all of all the black news was Donald sterling the first black man he ever met he got for Christmas the idea the two daughters are they girls Dave and they do girly things dance so does our tea parties and just girl crap there that I have to pretend to enjoy right but you also enjoy it really you know do you with the boy you still got that one yes I do thank you so let me I'll make a call right after the show cuz you more easy yeah no I still have the boy did you happen to see any of the press conference today with Tiger woo oh my god this tiger thing man did you know I wake up I'm groggy and I see it I just I so I didn't see it I haven't know exactly what I was looking at I see this biracial man behind a podium apologizing about sex and I'm like oh Lord the Kardashians don't got Obama [Applause] you

Channel: Dank Videos

Views: 1,875,410

Rating: 4.796216 out of 5

Keywords: chris rock, conan, jimmy fallon, jimmy kimmel, david letterman, jay leno, chris rock snl, graham norton, kevin hart, chris rock naacp awards, chris rock oscars, fanninao, fanninao practice

Id: f4C077265dU

Length: 10min 10sec (610 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 06 2019