CHRIS ROCK - THE OSCARS

Bres guest is an Emmy and Grammy award-winning performer who stars in a new version of the motion picture The Longest Yard the longest are the classic from 1970 to six if it was it's a classic it's a classic and yeah starring Burt Reynolds and others Jim Hampton a lot of the football players well they've redone it now with Chris Rock and Adam Sam should be great yeah blockbuster ladies gentlemen it opens May 27th here's Chris Rock Chris Rock's ladies gentlemen everybody thank you how you doing thank I'm all right Dave are you I'm fine thank you sir man we haven't uh haven't had you on the show I've been a guest here since you hosted the Academy Awards congratulations on that it's like a thrill of a lifetime yes you enjoyed yourself you hear all about it oh do I ever you know what's weird I was scared when I was hosting because I got to sit there and I got a watch I probably watched a hundred you know 70 whatever Oscar I watched all the Oscars and I watched when you host it yeah and oh man right but you know what I was scared cuz I liked it a lot and I was laughing like what the problem everybody's like you can't be like louder you can't do that no matter what you do don't do it let him in did they stop after I did that word shall they stop making movies for a year Wow for a year nobody made any movies expected to just put in the tape and see you on the toilet introducing a lady yeah what's an enormous responsibility and frankly I'm lucky to still be in show business yes but I mean you held up under the pressure quite well although some people I guess had their nose out of joint but I know you were just kidding around I'm just capable can't take jokes here take it the end did these actor types right yeah that's right hell do they think they are right you know and I didn't even held back exactly I was nice to you didn't really lay a glove later glove off cuz some people you know to Oscars do they mean you're great yeah cuz some people have them some people don't yeah it doesn't mean you're great cuz you have an Oscar you know Martin Scorsese does not have an Oscar but Kevin Costner's got dope yeah well they're very sensitive there there are there actors are they're very sensitive people well you're an actor you know what I'm talking that means come on man now would you in applicat Oscar mm-hm Morgan Freeman got an Oscar are they equal well Ben Affleck twenty four for writing I think Gibby would you do it again would you host anything ah yeah there's a lot of black people on it I will do the show again all it was black that night man Jamie Foxx and Morgan and Beyonce like the death Oscar J Jamie Foxx is incredible what do they ask that did you did you actually have to because what I had to do when I get back into the country I had to I had I had to go down a list and apologize to people who had their had their nose out of joint for some something I had screwed up on the Academy Awards did you go through any of that I guess yours was bad no I had a list of people I was just gonna say kiss my ass maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way did this host office you can all kiss my head oh man you turned 40 years of age in February yes I think I think if you is always 27 yes well you're very youthful look at that ice up young at heart development and uh yeah I'm 40 I'm 40 yeah that's old for black people yeah we next week I'm starting you know I get social security comes in my neighborhood Dane it was rough did I tell you I was robbed I understand it was none Tayla stuff but you know Hyundai of course it's a hood but in a real day I know and but you don't feel any symptoms of aging you don't hey you're not slowing I'm 40 is you know 44 it's the new 80 how does that I never know how that works what is old man forties only young if you die at footing right that's right yes yeah yeah there's forties young if you die at 40 or if you're sleeping with Cher are you sure shares phase of their is out of hamam how is uh Ricky how's your family that's the band about yes we know all about share I like you you have another is it another daughter I have another daughter man I have two two girls you got how many kids you go I have one you did you would harass yet no I haven't had the whip is that oh man you ain't have fun yeah you ain't a daddy until you look that ass yeah and assuming you know what that ass is to be sure shows man what provoked the ass-whooping in your house yeah he knows where we like both of us we got these kids right right so now we got so much in common hey my kids my kids as your get my kids are rich you know like their I got trust funds and all this crap no no I hate well fruit for this she get my daughter's getting money when they turn 21 no I should get a check when they turn 21 but getting them prudent right what the hell but but I guess the idea is that we provide for them better than that we were provided for ourselves oh the hell with them man I feed you I'll send you to school when I have a stroke push me around I push me around I ever stroke push me around with Chris Rock ah the lovely Nicollette Sheridan groove line heatwave yeah you went to Star Jones wedding is that true yeah I was invited my wife's friends with Star Jones that's the only reason I was there yeah that's it that mean do you know Star Jones you must forget your work I've done the view just like you I've not done the view come on you want to view all the time it's done the view never yeah I saw you on the view I saw you on Oprah Oh from your lips to God's ears my friend so tell us about the the wedding was it like a was it fun or was it uh it was born Dave I hate winds yeah worse come on honey get area especially if they get the boss later on you know cuz then you wasted a Saturday in June that's right and New York there's only five good weekends I wasted on Star Jones life is too short get married on a rainy Wednesday yeah exactly place a Saturday I could have blimp lint forget forget inviting people to the wedding invite them to the honeymoon they then you get a turnout I don't like when Z they sit there a lot of people I promise to love and honor to lose to for richer poor poor what was poorer even in the vows wise wise richer there isn't money oh he's so rich I can't stay here no more I gots to go I don't I don't understand it through sickness and health II don't know how the the movie The Longest Yard opens May 27 when did they make the original when did that come out was it's early 70s there right when did ya real a long time ago that's what I thought no no no time ago what year 74 it was only like three channels that's it that's right you're probably right now you I'm sure you watch the film before you said it before yes Susan gave me the cheque that said let me get this DVD right now and see that movie I'm about to do uh-huh cuz I like to be on top of things I understand that in the original movie they used a lot of athletes and actual football players yes and in your movie you did the same right athletes football players and we got rappers direct Nellie's and yeah and who are the football players at we might Michael Irvin Michael Irvin do grapes very good very good good uh bill Romanowski he's in there let's see um you know a bunch of other guys on steroids and can you play ball I suck I suck I cannot play football at all I have what they call scientifically referred to as bitch like hands and that's a scientific extreme that's an affliction I have bitch bitch like him bitch like hands for the bitch like Oh bitch like hands and how does how does that manifest itself in my life festival be singing in the the bitch light hand telethon yeah yeah Michael Jackson goes to a park and he sees kids like he sends over like an ice cream cone for somebody now there you go into don't say anything bad about the King of Pop no on this show dammit now what how about Adam Sandler is he much of an athlete cuz he plays like the quarterback do you know what he's doing he knows exactly what he's doing as long as he's paying me he's great good and great and Bertrand is people who have worked with Burt Reynolds tell me that he's always hitting other actors did you notice that he's like always a little too rough a little too rough a little license like pinch your ass a little bit really yeah he thinks you don't notice it too it's like it's like hey we're not playing ball yeah this is faith mo hey how's it going riddles just felt my was it was it fun to working with Burt Reynolds but roses I he's okay yeah not as fun as working with you I want to say I just think go on the record I have never laid a hand on you never and I know we both appreciate we both do all right Chris let's take a look at a clip of the film that it's gonna be a big movie because because you have people who want to see another version may 27th you and Adam Sam many many others one in one theater hey what are we gonna see they don't get anything better oh yeah yeah nothing better than maple coming on this show and I'm weak that's right I got off of the infidel hey men know the entertainment it can't be done Oh what movie did you know Chris Rock it out hello we've died and gone to heaven me and Adam Sandler be funny in jail alright Longest Yard May 27th take a look have your pleasure I could facilitate and for a small fee I can even get you McDonald's what about the love of a beautiful woman well you're gonna have to lower your standards on the beautiful pot and on the woman pot just April cheeseburgers are they ugly now but in eight months you gonna look like Beyonce there you go exactly Chris Rock lady

Channel: MyTalkShowHeroes

Views: 694,557

Rating: 4.8084617 out of 5

Keywords: Talk Show (TV Genre)

Id: TBXhDFq-csA

Length: 12min 56sec (776 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 05 2014