Cheap Indians and Greedy Chinese

glad to see brown people in the audience that's nice of course you'd be here at the taping it's free you cheap bastards any people don't even act like you're not cheap you know you cheat it's in our blood to be cheap there people say Jews are cheap Jews aren't actually cheap Jews will spend the money if they think it's worthwhile a Jew grab a shirt I don't know all right it feels like it's good material here's my money where's an Indian guide like I don't know I could probably get this made for $4 and when you're not looking he pulls out a knife how much now it's it I don't bite it we are cheap man it's in our blood my dad so good at being cheap that he could convince you that you're wrong I took my dad to a bar he ordered a beer the wage was like it's 450 sir my dad's like okay here's three she stand there like sir what about the other 150 don't worry about it okay she's like no you owe me 150 I owe you you owe me it's the same thing go ahead don't be so cheap these amazing people that's good hey Chinese whoo saying that could be your last name whoo that's who can't do business together Chinese people and any people cannot do business together because Indians cannot live without a bargain and Chinese people cannot give you a bargain their objective is to get every penny from you and I was just to keep every penny there's a really bad power struggle there I went to this Chinese mall some of you may know what Pacific Mall that's the wrong place for Indian guy to go I saw this bag I want to buy this bag I go how much do I go to Chinese gotta go how much he goes $35 how about 30 and try anything we'll never tell you know they'll tell you know the longest know you've ever heard you fight like you just said the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard they're like I'll give you 30 no no I can't do $40 I say you $40 today you come tomorrow close down oh my god right well then give me a deal on the person I don't want to pay 35 bucks okay one sec I talked to my wife one second thank you the blessing thank God I'm going okay you seem like nice guy I give you best price 3450 I'm like that's 50 cents man because 50 cents a lot of money you say 50 cent here then maybe you go somewhere else you save another 50 cents then you have one dollar then you take you with all our you go to the dollar store you buy something else it starts turning into my money managers let me financial plan for you don't like know what dudes forget it I don't want is not a deal he starts telling me stuff that has nothing to do with anything I go I'm leaving he goes hey be a man be a men do the right thing wait I'm gonna do the right thing maybe who don't buy the purse right now you go some you walk around the mall you see something else you don't buy you come back you say hey I want the purse revert it over guys II know you don't get reverse evil busy now price going up maybe $40 pmn just can't do business man we could work together we just can't work with each other

Channel: Tim Nguyen

Views: 903,267

Rating: 4.7087579 out of 5

Keywords: stand-up, Russell, Peters, Indian, Chinese, Funny

Id: GjFvJAKLFs4

Length: 5min 7sec (307 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 24 2007