Charlies Angels for Gamecube - JonTron

I don't even know what's going on right now I got some sort of thing my hands I don't give a [ __ ] about this for trophy allow me to appraise that for you John wow John that trophy is worth $4 million you are so generous and kind Hey Now where's the real Jac and what are you doing him huh you're too kind of me but J you rewired my circuits to give you exaggerated praise at all times I live to serve your majesty now all we got to do is find a game for us to review that do so let's see what we got here oh no I should have been more careful what I wished for Charlie's Angels for the Nintendo GameCube this little gem right here is a game developed by Neco entertainment and published by Ubisoft in 2003 it's based off the films of the same name that came out around the same time and this is some real heavy stuff right here featuring the allstar cast of Cameron Diaz Lucy Lou and Drew Barrymore they actually got them to do the voices that's surprising now this game right here has been universally panned by critics I mean all across the board the official PlayStation 2 magazine UK he gave it its lowest possible score a one out of 10 could it really be that bad let's find out let me push out start button for you sugar tits you are so goddamn beautiful you know that you'll be sof huh more like you going to need to start a new company soft to get fre wait what okay the vines's song get free is the menu music for this game well that's kind of strange don't you think better cut away from this quick before Viacom comes and slams me up the butt with a cease and desist let's see what we've got here in the way of Graphics options ah change screen position that's it yeah reasonable no that's reasonable I'm sorry push B for back and a for valid okay are you too cool for normal words like accept and okay Charlie's Angels just want to be different I'm a I'm a you no no weird so let's begin no reason to stall except every single reason my name uh balls naturally okay so what do we got here the Statue of Liberty all seems normal oh Lights Went Out are are you [ __ ] kidding me the story in this game is that someone stole the Statue of Liberty to sh no Bravo I can dig it let's get the potty going on in this potty wagon okay I thought this was Charlie's Angels not Carmen San Diego San Diego and just hold on a second here they figured out how to cut the power to the entirety of New York City and they used that immense knowledge base to steal the Statue of Liberty okay now first of all that's not even possible to do in like 5 seconds I'm questioning the plausibility of a Charlie Angels game again aren't I New Yorkers woke up this morning only to discover the shocking disappearance of their Lady Liberty now of good voice wow really is there a new anchor sitting right in front of me right now I can't tell the monent struck in the ofat of for those of you who don't know about Charlie's Angels it was originally a television show from the' 70s about three women who work for a private investigation agency and solve crimes in a very pachow bom kind of way if you know what I'm saying their boss char is never seen on camera but he speaks to them through this little radio thingy and also Bosley's there I don't know he's Bosley in the early 2000s director uh MCG yeah he he goes by MCG created a Movie remake of the 70s television show and subsequently another one 3 years later they were decent movies but nothing spectacular and the reason I'm telling you is because this that game is where that the movie came from that movie those movies they birthed that game this game so to try to get to the bottom of this mystery Bosley explains that the girls will have to go investigate a nearby cargo ship the method of doing this you ask well isn't it obvious the girl sign up for a Miss bikini contest on the beach nearby now speaking of Bosley I don't uh I don't I don't think that's Posley I see the likenesses of the real life actresses portraying the Angels but apparently Bernie Mack was just too good for this Bernie I can't say I blame you buddy and may you rest in peace honestly everyone's voice acting in this is horrible even the angels that ought to keep the sailors occupied while we gain access to the ship good point bz we'll try not to blow anything up if we encounter a hitch we'll keep a lid on collateral damage now these three may not be as prestigious as Merill street but good God they're decent actresses how did the Final Cut of the voiceovers end up so bad I mean it's really bad oh you know what they say about the Charlie's Angels game don't you even Talent can't escape its gravitational pull just listen to Bosley well if there are any interesting Clues the captain's got them find him and convince him to cooperate this is what it sounds like to do half fast voice acting anchor away Angels find that Captain and see if Bosley's Theory holds water oh charie you always crack me up [Music] [Music] and the award for most depressing bikini contest goes to they even wait they did not even wait past the literal beginning of the game to exploit the sex appeal I got to hand it to them they're a bunch of [ __ ] so you start off here with Cameron Diaz on the beach and oh great Idol animation yeah it fits the mood perfectly what the literal second you take your first step these people on the beach start running after you and I mean you can run these guys in circles for hours they'll just keep on tailgating you like what who are these people can someone please tell me why it's suddenly socially acceptable to begin beating upon a frail bikini clad woman in public in a [ __ ] pet she didn't even do anything to reveal her identity yet these are just normal people I'm I'm sorry it it's it's not very often that the game just immediately breaks me just immediately I don't I don't even I don't even know what to say to this so here it is folks guards on the table you're looking at Charlie's Angels for GameCube you had enough yet are you are you [ __ ] me that is the actual sound effect that they used for her taking damage that sound how do you even make that sound sing me more songs sugar tits that was the best take they got huh that's what you're telling me that's not an occasional sound bite by the way that is the sound that this particular Angel makes every time she gets hit H H okay so if this already weren't stupid enough she's fighting in a freaking bikini it's just so absurdly stupid if she were maybe wearing the Sleek spy jumpsuits they're wearing in the cover it may have been believable but am I really expected to believe that Cameron Diaz and a bikini can take on hordes of Harden male construction workers with nothing but a bare f it sounds like nitpicking but details like this can go a long way this should have been an unlockable costume or something not the main outfit I'm off to the boat I'll swing by and get you Alex no that was a good take is there really is that really the best take they could get I'll swing by and get you Alex it sounded like it was the first time she was reciting the line ever so she was like okay you know let's try that at least you know one more [ __ ] time and they were like nah it's fine we already shipped the game a great feature they've included are the Revolutionary shifting invisible walls I've never seen anything like it speak as most people aren't stupid now just have a listen here invisible walls form behind you as you go so you can never go back to an area you just left but was that really necessary it's not like you can get lost in a straight line I mean literally they follow the back of your heels just take a look I mean it's basically just a brawler like final fight or something but but terrible terrible final fight with Bosley there is literally nothing more to it than this I seriously think Aquaman battle for Atlantis was more fun than this wow you have no idea how hard it was for me to say that occasionally you get to the end of a level see a red circle push a and start the next segment but there's nothing more to it than that oh Lucy that's a nice little stealth walk you got there but don't worry I don't think anyone saw you I mean you are perfectly disguised after all so yeah you're basically just alternating segments with each one of the Angels at the end of their linear missions they'll usually just pull a walkie-talkie out of their snatch and talk to one another Dylan immediate boarding you know I don't know the related health risks it have but I'm assuming you may want to just you know bring a walkie-talkie clip next time just look just look how strange the walk cycle is they look like they belong more in a SpongeBob cartoon genius by the way that's it's a great boat animation [Music] good really amazing truly amazing I'm not even kidding that made my day right there and I'd be willing to bet it made yours too you can't script something is horrifically amazing is this dance Lucy dance your career depends on it how do I mount this ladder I I seriously can't figure it out I've been here for like 2 minutes trying to do it occasionally I step on the ladder quickly then Dismount I have no idea how to make this work I'm pushing all the godamn buttons oh oh okay you have to be perfectly still in an exact spot near the ladder and then push a I don't really know how you I don't I don't really know how you screw up something as easy as mounting a ladder oh oh oh that's a long l how do you even get a game this wrong why would they put a ladder this long in a game for no reason when you do when you do something like this there has to be a point okay Snake Eater did a long ladder and it was awesome but okay why why am I even comparing this to Snake Eater why am I why am I even playing this dance Lucy Dan dance okay so now I'm Drew Barrymore's character and apparently they didn't think she was good enough to be topless that must have hurt just going around fighting Butlers named Jared and gerro you know unusual there except wait a second oh my God is that a piano I'm about done with this I'm that and this this isn't exactly going anywhere fast so blah blah blah I beat this section of the level with each of the angels and voila finished the mission and on to the next level H all right this uh this looks oddly familiar is it perhaps cuz it's the same level again what oh I checked I went back and checked everything on this 100 100% And yes the level looped the level [ __ ] looped just because of my burning curiosity I went back and played through the entire level again just to see I mean maybe it was supposed to be this way all right so here we are once again I complete this level and yep loops loops again this could just be a defect on this item specifically but I just like to imagine the creators of the game are like ah they'll never play that far just have it Loop but how hilariously fitting the game is already so repetitive that I could barely tell if it was looping at all I actually thought they intended it to be that way and it was just a similar Mission I had to play through the level twice entirely just to be sure when it looped for the third time I mean surely they wouldn't do that intentionally would you Charlie's Angels for GameCube would you I think you would you [Music] [ __ ] John were you messing with my circuits again no no I didn't no no no okay because if you did I would have had to do something drastic like like what ja oh oh yeah that's nice you in forgiven thanks for watching if you want to see more JonTron videos click right there because [Music]

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 7,860,439

Keywords: jontron, jontronshow, charlies, angels, for, gamecube, review, avgn, silver, surfer, zero, punctuation

Id: AxnQ_YJmOBg

Length: 13min 27sec (807 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 20 2012