Charles Boyle THE ULTIMATE FOODIE | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

good morning Boyle oh good morning Cavanaugh after our disagreement yesterday I went online to read your culinary blogs and scoff to my dismay I actually learned something about how food tells a story so I made Kevin this it's warm it's a croque monsieur Kevin and I shared one on a rainy afternoon in Paris on our first anniversary it's one of our most treasured memories I'm sure it's not up to your standards but Kevin seemed to enjoy it so thank you for your guidance gross huh no it's perfect he's a natural ship now I know how Salieri felt he Rosa the Flatbush diners pie is terrible it's inedible food is supposed to be edible so you were lying what the hell Boyle crust isn't any better it's fancier but it's all bells and whistles desserts don't need to be clever they just need to be good this is the best pie in New York City Apple from Argos bakery founded 1910 recipe unchanged taste it is amazing this part is so good I heard it you just graduated high school [ __ ] sorry I said [ __ ] I'm just really worked up do you know this pizza is much better than last time you've always ranked dead last in structural integrity and sauce thank you hey you sure it's a good idea to eat all this Sh warmer right before your tux fitting oh yeah I'm not gonna be one of those grooms who doesn't eat Frenchy I feel like a teenager I feel like I'm 40 again chewing this shiso leaf it'll give her kissing [Music] delicious so Vivien do you ever go watch hockey no I'm not one for sports of course you're not my graduate student told me the craziest story about her family hey can you pass me the maple syrup please speaking of where does the best maple syrup come from again for not oh and Canada Canada hey that reminds me weren't the two of you talking about maybe moving there oh yeah we are so excited to start this new chapter of our lives together yeah well although I have to say as someone who's read many of the older chapters in Charles's life I wonder if that's the best thing for him that's so sweet of you to care but Chuck is excited about moving to Canada right baby mmm I feel very uncomfortable saying this to you but it doesn't seem like it's worth it unless you think it is I do like I said Salle's is an institution and it's the best pizza in the neighborhood I'm sorry Jake sounds only the eighth best I put out a weekly Brooklyn Pizza ranking email blast Sal's has the fourth best texture ninth-best crust 12th best cheese and honestly they're only 7th and mouthfeel mouthfeel what is that the inside of your cheeks are very sensitive it's like the inside of your thighs except with the tongue Oh God Mario this pie needs work good consistency on the crust the cheese a sauce ratio it's a travesty do you have to spit in a word yes amateurs go tasting they fill up and they lose their palate by the third slice I take just very seriously totally what is going on out there we can't tell cop stories Kevin doesn't find me charming and a native English speaker referred to captain Holt is hilarious I am flummoxed that's a word I learned for this party and I am it well I'm doing fine really Raymond those slacks are a knockout do you think you heard that well because you yelled it shut up from now on we play to our strengths Charles you know everything about food that's all you talk about I mean I don't think anyone will ever know everything about food it's an evolving discipline that's great stuff it's so boring don't waste it now the first step in learning how to cook is learning how to taste so close your eyes and open your mouth this isn't Burning Man Boyle tell me what I'm eating fine it's a sharp Vermont Cabot now describe what you taste cheese and cheese okay that's good but try being more descriptive I know you love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches why their components have a long shelf life they are cost-effective they're they're so simple a child could make them okay I was looking for more of an emotional connection for example my favorite meal is a simple roast chicken and potatoes was the only dish my mother knew how to cook and when I eat it I feel as though I am once again inside her womb what's your story behind a PB&J I want a sandwich I make a sandwich I eat a sandwich my last meal on earth that's a great question I'd go classic French Ortolan tiny songbird eaten a single bite bones and all and open defiance of God it's illegal to consume Ortolan but I actually got academic dispensation to eat one once the beak very crunchy that is literally the sexiest thing anyone has ever said how were you single you're not seeing any way No there's nobody in my life sort of a sad thing to wink about and I realize now Jake I gotta tell you the engaged life is amazing especially sexually well I don't want to pry it up right I want you to know this no vivy and I have a wonderful intercourse itinerary that we have planned I'm usually more of a chocolate guy but this one's closer so I'm gonna oh ha ha Bhaiji cake why that's habanero pepper frosting because her marriage is going to say Oh unless you think it's a bad idea no sounds like a great idea Oprah to one ah pepper relish on your arancini very playful cut through the richness add a little levity I love that you really know your food you could say it's the only thing I'm allowed to talk about I'm Charles I work with captain Holt I'm Vivian ludley I work with Kevin no V Vivian ludley author of stone fruits and stone stones foot of the Paleolithic era I'm a huge fan it's got the best recipes for making salads out of moss the trick is you have to lean into the dirt taste we know you burned down Sal's Gino you hated him because his pizza was better than yours that's not true Gino's pizzas always been the tastiest wrong according to Boyle's email blast it was downright lousy before we made it so suspicious when he suddenly loved it cross was char the cheese was stringy and flavorless but the sauce Omata on the sauce continued sorry six out of 12 out of 12 why for the 12 components of food satisfaction salty sweet sour bitter umami odor sound sound come on try her nasty pie oh wow dr. puff pie I ever had what's this we were running calls to pawn shops and then waiting for them to call back I didn't ask what you were doing I asked what you are doing I taste us it's over I won it's unacceptable if you want to know which restaurant has better pies you can't just have one guy try one pie from each place everybody needs to try all the pies from both places we don't be here while many people think that scrambled eggs are the easiest food to make that is incredibly foolish they are a highly nuanced and complicated dish okay now go ahead and pour your eggs right into the pan nice and slow Oh okay now what do I do oh boy hey we hear that sizzle that means the heat is a little too high on those eggs well the higher the heat the faster the eggs cook the sooner Kevin eats am i incorrect no you make an excellent point but we don't want to feed Kevin burned garbage cooking it's about patience are you completely insane you never saltcan a pen to hand the hand is the middle and okay what you did is the culinary equivalent of unprotected sex you know what you sir are not ready to scramble eggs hand over your spatula fine I only wish in return I could get back all the time I just wasted on this futile project I'm just gonna make Kevin plain toast for breakfast Oh you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,362,440

Keywords: NBC, The Office US, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Michael Scott, Ron Swanson, Liz Lemon, Jake Peralta, Steve Carell, Nick Offerman, Andy Samberg, Tina Fey, charles boyle best moments, charles boyle single ladies dance, charles boyle hit in the balls, charles boyle food truck, charles boyle food blog, charles boyle food rating, brooklyn nine-nine backstreet boys, brooklyn nine-nine i want it that way, brooklyn nine-nine bloopers

Id: msg1N9HcBp8

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 29 2019