Carlin talks about cats

cats are all different they do everything different than the dougie cats are cute cats a goddamn killed didn't he killed look at him god he's cute he's a kitty cat that's how cute the other needed two names kitty wasn't cute enough kitty cat may be cute the kitty can look at me cute let's drown here goddamn kitty cat hate love stick him on the wall see if he hangs up that law kitty cat they're so goddamn cute when they're teeny I hope it stays that size forever he's darling any wonderful cute little goddamn kitty cat that can jump any way they want when they're teeny they can jump straight up in the air without a run they just go they can even jump backwards to the side probably do that holy [ __ ] they can do anything jump and be cute this can be cute a goddamn kitty cat isn't he cute god I love they're so cute they're even cute when they kill isn't it look he's playing with the mouse [ __ ] Mouse doesn't feel that way they're cute all he's so precious just tearing the throat right out of that bird q this can't be they kill see they like to kill something that's what they want to do that's what I act so nice they want to go yeah even when they're teeny when they're just on you take a baby baby that is a human you take a baby dog and a baby cat and you attack all three of them which I try never to do if I can help it but you'll get three different results you attack a baby he cries you attack a puppy he cowers you attack a kitty cat he fights one-day-old they're looking for some [ __ ] and even got their eyes open no guarantee nasty little cute thing shoot little nasty guy all that wonderful God love them they're so physical that's what's fun they're so physical and of you're a banya they love to rub on ya if you've got a leg and a cat you got a potty oh boy I'm rubbing on his leg oh boy oh boy if you got two legs [ __ ] jubilee celebration time oh boy two legs hot [ __ ] I can do the figure eight they love to do the figure eight oh boy oh boy oh boy I love to rub on his leg don't rub against your leg even if you're not there yet you might still be 50 feet down the hall they see you coming oh boy oh boy oh boy soon I'll be rubbing on his leg so he'll even walk sideways so they don't miss you hobo hobo love it they're so physical you don't have to pet a cat you just put your hand over and he'll do all the work you pet him give a pet a cat who's lying absolutely flat and before you're halfway finished his ass is way up in the air like you press the ask button ozone isn't he a cute little holy [ __ ] how did he do that then they jump on your chest and put their ass right in your face here's my ass dad check this ass huh I want to showing you their ass to give you some of this stuff let's get him off of me Jesus I hate that I don't even know what it is and I don't like look like they're into some bad drug other quality cats have which I admire cats don't accept blame they don't embarrass at all cat does something dumb you never know it by looking at him dog knocks over a lamp you can tell who did it just by looking at the dog not the cat cat doesn't accept any blame cat moves along to the next activity what's that not me [ __ ] that I'm a cat something break ask the dog that doesn't get embarrassed you've seen a cat race across a carpet and crash into a glass door I meant that I meant that I meant that's exactly how I [ __ ] meow [ __ ] meow Atsuko say when they get behind the couch cats too proud to let you see him suffer but you look behind the couch and you'll find your cat recuperating from a domestic accident took a little slings and walkers you know tried to make the window from the lamb

Channel: shoeyonfire

Views: 2,233,569

Keywords: George, Carlin, cats

Id: Nzvm8k5kSjs

Length: 5min 15sec (315 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 27 2007