The Elder Scrolls is a quality franchise. But just as the gods of the Elder Scrolls
have no idea what they’re doing, gamers can’t make up their minds about which game
is the best. Which is why I set out to answer a question
completely unrelated to everything I’ve said so far. Can You Beat The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion
Without Taking Any Damage? When you can’t take damage, the name of
the game is stealth, you want to stay as far away from whatever you’re attacking as possible,
which is why I went with a Wood Elf for my character. They start off with higher Sneak and Marksman
skills, perfect for the Stealth archer I’m bringing to the party. Did you really think I was gonna be anything
other than that? The guy across the way taunted me a bit, and
the time had come to set my health to 1 so that any damage of any kind kills me. Unfortunately, this cannot be done as easily
in Oblivion as it is in Skyrim or Fallout. The player.forceav command is the only one
that actually did anything, and even then it never set my max health to 1, it set my
current health to 1 out of however many health points I had, so it was at 1 out of 81 in
the beginning and I couldn’t figure out how to get that 81 to become 1. But it wasn’t the end of the world, checking
every now and again to make sure my health is at 1 isn’t too annoying to do. Patrick Stewart informed me that his time
had come, the last remaining path out of the city just so happened to be through my cell,
and our escape began. They went their own way and left me to fend
for myself against the armies of ratatouille breaking down barriers for all rat-kind. I died more times that you’d think to these
mice. Also it’s worth pointing out that I do have
a few mods installed. None of them affected gameplay, they were
mostly for the UI, but they were there nonetheless. After setting the difficulty down as low as
it could go, I killed the rats, sent a message to an old friend, and got babies first bow
from a dead skeleton on the ground. Archery in Oblivion is a little different
than it is in Skyrim, mostly because it feels more like a bow and arrow, the arrows dip
towards the earth much sooner than they do in Skyrim, so you’ve got to put some effort
into aiming instead of just putting the crosshair on the target and pressing a button. I found it to be much more satisfying to kill
creatures with a Bow than it was in Skyrim. A bit deeper into the caves, I encountered
a Goblin for the first time. A sneak attack can take them out in one shot,
but they can still be a threat if you’re not careful. Overall, getting through this introductory
dungeon cave area wasn’t anything crazy difficult. It’s the tutorial section, it’s supposed
to be easy. Before long, you’ll be faced with the biggest
decision of your life. Bigger than having a child, bigger than naming
your child, bigger even than deciding what kind of coffin you want for your child. Choosing your sign. I went with Thief for 10 point bonuses my
to Agility, Speed, and Luck attributes. The Thief, from what little research I did,
seemed to be one of the go-to choices for any kind of Archer build. Continue through the dungeon with your impromptu
friends, aggravate yourself by trying to get your health back to 1, save the Emperor from
attackers with a well placed flame hand ranged attack, obtain the Amulet of Kingly Swag from
Patrick Stewart, and press deeper into the dungeon towards the light at the end of the
tunnel. But before you do that, you must choose a
Specialization and two Favored Attributes. Stealth gives bonuses to Acrobatics, Light
Armor, Marksman, Geoff’s Farming and Mercantile Supply Store, Security, Sneak, and Speechcraft. Light Armor is the only one there that’s
worthless. My Favored Attributes were Agility and Speed
for more bonuses to Marksman, Acrobatics, and a few other things. My Major Skills were Armorer, Athletics, Illusion,
Marksman, Mercantile, Security, and Sneak. Should be pretty obvious why I chose those
skills. The only possible odd man out is Armorer,
but that’s used for repairing weapons and such. To be honest, I put way more thought into
this than I needed to. You could wing it, have no idea what you’re
doing, and still get through Oblivion without too many problems. More stealth kills with the bow and arrow
through the dungeon, see the light, be born into the world, and the real game begins. From here you can do anything, be anyone. I, of course, was only interested in completing
the main quest, so I set off for Weynon Priory to give the Amulet of Kings to Jauffre, the
only man in the Capital Wasteland who knows the location of Emperor Uriel Septim’s last
living son. If I’m being honest, this game looked far
better than I remember it looking. I might’ve had a graphics mod installed,
I don’t remember. The next 10 minutes or so were spent running
through the countryside towards my objective. Nothing worth mentioning transpired on my
way there. Jauffre, surprised that I actually had the
amulet of kings, was unsure what the Emperor meant when he mentioned the Jaws of Oblivion
shortly before his death. But I’ve seen the title of this game, I
know exactly what he’s talking about. Jauffre informed me of Martin, a well to do
lad serving at a chapel in Kvatch. Before leaving, I took everything he offered
to me. Namely, a Steel Bow and 30 Steel Arrows. With another waypoint to mindlessly follow,
I set off for Kvatch. I was, uh, let’s say “overjoyed” at
the way the wolves went all floppy after an arrow entered their skull and turned off their
life. Some people get their jollies by wiping out
50% of all life in the universe. I’m a simple man. All it takes to put a smile on my face is
a dead animal. Upon arriving in Kvatch, something seemed
off. Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds. That’s gonna takes weeks to clean. Someone’s gonna pay for that. Or, more accurately, some wolf is gonna get
an arrow in the snout for that. A soldier outside Kvatch convinced himself
that if he followed his orders, everything would be fine. Never mind the fact that a literal portal
to hell was open right in front of him. I admired his optimism so much that murdered
the goblins in the courtyard and entered the chapel to speak to Brother Martin. He knew the Emperor was dead, yet he did not
know who he was. In time, he would learn it real good. He’d only go with me if his compatriots
were safe and sound in the ground, or above it. So, l fulfilled a lifelong dream of going
to Heck. Meltman was there, a man who almost got melted
by the eternal flames of Oblivion. After sinking into the red goo to experience
a beautiful death, I gave my word to Hand Venus that I’d shut the Oblivion Gate and
save the world. If nothing else, these Daedra guys know how
to make a demonic paradise feel like home. I felt like I could really settle down here
and get tortured for the rest of m life. They even had boulders the size of kidney
stones roaming free. Putting aside the thrilling atmosphere, making
way to the central tower wasn’t anything super difficult. The plants whacked me into unconsciousness
a handful of times. The Scamps can go down in one shot because
I’m playing on super crybaby easy mode. Sneak attacks make attacks do 3x damage, so
all but the toughest of foes can be defeated with an arrow and some effort. Also, at this point, I’d still not made
the quest I was trying to complete my active quest. The menu confused me and made me miss the
invisible and unreliable Pip-Boy of Fallout 3. And as much as I love wearing a propeller
hat and having the game hold my hand through the entire game, it was fun just trying to
figure out where to go on my own without being told where to go. Confusing at times, and I absolutely followed
the quest marker as soon as I hit puberty and figured out how to make a quest an active
quest, but it was an enjoyable romp through an unforgiving hellscape while it lasted. Some 25 minutes later, I made my way to the
heart of hell, the Sigil Stone powering the Oblivion Beltway. Being the protagonist, I ripped the giant
marble from its holster, stuck it in my pocket, and informed the Captain of a job well done. With the remaining Daedric forces cut off
from reinforcements, we stormed the town, vowing to cleanse it of all grotesque and
horrifying creatures. With all the friendly faces on my side, it
was a quick and decisive victory. Back in the chapel, two NPCs rambled on about
what I can only assume are remaining Daedric militants out in the plaza with the rats. The nerve of those f*cks to invade The Elder
Scrolls 4 on Michael’s birthday, I will not stand for this. I will not hesitate to sacrifice the lives
of the Kvatchian people to stop this infestation. The Count left his old life on Sesame Street
behind and joined the Elder Scroll to begin anew. He’s the man with the plan so to speak. He has the key to the Gatehouse, and we need
that key. I think. I played through Oblivion in mid-April and
it’s May 6th right now. Without General Subtitles, it was hard to
remember what exactly was happening. Count von Count was down in the basement of
the temple and luckily for me, a group of Imperial Legion Soldiers arrived just in time
for me to expend their lives. Together, we battled through more destroyed
outsidey parts. These Scamps made sure to eat their Flinstones
Vitamins before beginning their assault and as a result, are tougher than prior enemies. Some take two whole arrows to kill. It’s unprecedented. Inside a tunnel, we all continued to defeat
all foes in our path on our quest to enter the gatehouse. At a distance, the Scamps will use magic as
their method of attack. This isn’t Call of Duty, you can dodge their
attacks with relative ease. Or you can play with a Display Case like a
dimwit. Any kind of close quarters encounter is going
to be a problem, though. It was here I began using a Destruction spell
on a more recurring basis. After finding the rotting copse of Count von
Count, I left to inform his widow of the good news. The peasants on Sesame Street will celebrate
this day for generations to come. Savlian, upon hearing of how Count was slain
in battle, a lie I made up on the spot to keep spirits high, gave me his armor. I was momentarily concerned that the additional
points in Endurance would mess with my ability to be a limp noodle man, but it didn’t. Or if it did, I didn’t notice it. Good Brother Martin left the chapel and was
hiding out in a campsite outside the city, he agreed to head to Weynon Priory, I bartered
the most beautiful NPCs to ever grace a Bethesda game, fast-traveled to the Priory, was told
of Daedric marauders invading the castle, and battled the forces of darkness in a race
against time to save Jauffre. It was around this point I noticed for the
first time that fast-traveling can restore your health. I’m not sure why that happens. it’s just another hassle to deal with. I might’ve mentioned that already. I don’t care enough to check. Jauffre was safe and sound surrounded by Daedra
that have been returned to their eternal slumber. Once the screaming and slaughter died down
enough, I gathered my thoughts, was told by Jauffre that the only safe place for our new
leader was Cloud Ruler Temple, and we went there. I did, anyway. One neat thing about this game is that you
can fast-travel to several locations without having to discover them first. I took a victory lap around the temple. That’s absolutely what that was, I 100%
did not miss the entrance and wander around looking for it before realizing that Jauffre
and Martin were still back at the Priory, at which point I went back to the town, stole
a horse, and got assaulted. That didn’t happen. Once the gang and I reunited at the Temple,
Martin was crowned as Emperor, he gave a speech, and we we formulated a new plan. Short version is Martin takes the Amulet of
Kings to the Temple of the One to light the Dragonfires. He also explained that Mehrunes Dagon is behind
the Daedric Invasion of Elder Scrolls 4. Jauffre offered me a spot as a Blade, gifted
me a worthless toothpick that I held onto for a while, and I left for the Imperial City
to track down Boris, a man Jauffre believed to know more about the Invasion. Baurus laid a trap for someone he believed
to be nefarious, I assassinated the assassin, found a strange book on his corpse, and learned
of Mythic Dawn. Oh, they have the Amulet of Kings, I should’ve
mentioned that. That’s the wrench in our plan, the vomit
in our cereal so to speak. After selling some nonsense and buying more
archery supplies, I found a Lizard Lady in the Arcane University. There are 4 Mystic Dawn Commentaries I would
need in total. I have one, the Lizard has another, another
I obtained from a collector in a shop who didn’t understand the forces he was messing
with. I was sure he was a Daedric spy but he was
just a pathetic wannabe cult member. I sympathized with him, we’ve all gone down
the cult road at some point. The 4th book would be a challenge because
nobody had ever seen it. Luckily for us, Baurus was being indoctrinated
into the Mythic Dawn Cult, and one of the Cult Head Honchos was rumored to have the
4th book. Baurus led me to the sewers, away from everyone
else for a moment alone, I died to the Mud Crabs and assorted sewer creatures more times
than I should have, used a magician’s trick to light up the sewer and raise my Illusion
skill, and Baurus went to talk to the Cultists. I failed at being sneaky, which cost me my
life. The 2nd time I opened fire almost immediately,
got my hands on the 4th Mythic Dawn Commentary, and leveled up for the 1st time. I chose to increase Agility, Speed, and Personality. Agility and Speed were to boost skills I’ve
mentioned many times already and Personality because it seemed like the most useful 3rd
attribute to pick based on what skills the others affect. Back at University, I asked Tar-Meena to work
her magic once more to scour the 4 commentaries for clues. I had to wait a day for any results. I’d assume the game wants you to go do side
missions or something while you wait for a day to pass. Obviously I didn’t do that. I waited in place next to her, standing in
place for 24 hours, then for another 24 hours because she’s slow and stupid like a turtle
that survived a gunshot to the head. But she was smart enough to figure out what
Mankar Camoran’s hidden message was, Mankar Camoran being the thing who wrote the four
commentaries. Wait at the garden in the Imperial Palace
at noon for a sign. I thought the sign was this freak standing
next to me. I’m not sure what kind of weirdo would stand
next to someone for as long as he did, it was quite unnerving. But the glowing wall revealed the location
of the Mythic Dawn Shrine, the location of the Amulet of Kings, I traveled to the closest
location I could, Black Waterside Stables, and was back on the trail. Some minutes later, I found myself at Lake
Arrius Caverns, the hideout of the Mythic Dawn. Yes I’m aware that my health is seemingly
full at the moment. I convinced the Doorkeeper that I was a promising
up and comer in the cult-scene, so I could get inside without needing to attack anyone
or, more importantly, be attacked by anyone. Mankar Camoran himself gave a wonderful speech
before Doctor Stranging himself back to whatever dimension he calls home, along with the Amulet
of Kings. My infiltration mission was for naught. However, opportunity presented itself to me
a chance to get the Mysterium Xarxes, a book written by Mehrunes Dagon. The only small problem is that the Mythic
Dawn do not want me to obtain that special book, or so I thought. I wouldn’t know, actually. I reloaded a save, blew my cover, and began
sneak attacking my way through the cavern. I can safely say that I was too engulfed in
the game to notice my health was still not at 1. Because of the nature of this challenge, sneak
attacks were crucial here and had I taken damage somewhere, it would’ve been immediately
apparent that I screwed something up. But that didn’t happen because I fixed it
before I got too deep into the caves. The only area of note in this mass execution
of demonic forces was the sacred chamber area I just teleported from in a past life. Some guy was about to be sacrificed. I snagged the special book of secrets, the
statue collapsed on sleeping beauty, I set him free after admiring his body, he fled
for his life, and I made my escape. I killed a lot of people on my way out of
the Cavern. In fact I went out of my way to kill as many
people as I could find. A Mythic Dawn Guard took a fair bit of effort
to kill, I followed my new best friend out of the cavern, said goodbye forever to my
former best friend, and returned to Cloud Ruler Temple to deliver the book to Martin. He read my f’ing mind and knew I didn’t
recover the Amulet of Kings. The book is dangerous, which was why I gave
it to him. His reward for me was speaking to Jauffre
about spies attempting to infiltrate the temple. I killed Jearl in self defense after thinking
that she was maybe a spy. Could’ve been the Daedric Mace she wielded
that gave it away, could’ve just been a mother’s intuition, we may never know. After informing Burd, Captain of the Bruma
Guard, about the spy, I was given permission to search Jearl’s house. Never one to turn down an invitation for home
invasion, I entered the house, read a document containing orders from the enemy, and returned
the document to Jauffre so we could formulate our next move. My next move. I’m the donkey here who does all the work. There are 1 more spies that need to go quietly
into that good night. I got bonked into submission the first time
I fought the spy. The 2nd time I got the drop on her, eliminated
the threat with incredible grace, retraced my steps to get back to Cloud Ruler Temple,
and Martin had a plan. I must obtain a certified Daedric Artifact. This would be the first of many impossible
tasks I was ordered to complete. But where’s there’s a Will, there’s
a Smith, and I knew just where to go to get my hands on some Daedric toys The Shrine of
Azura. Mels Maryon wouldn’t get me the details
on the shrine unless I persuaded him of my good intentions. The Persuasion system in Oblivion is beyond
my comprehension. Lucky for me, this guy’s cheaper than a
10 cent whore. I payed him off, he told me to offer glow
dust to the shrine at dawn or dusk, and I left to find whatever the profanity Glow Dust
is. My gut told me it was probably a kind of dust
that glows, but I had to be sure. It can be bought like all odds and ends, in
the Imperial City Market. I spent about 10 minutes in the various shops,
visiting all the different merchants and seeing what they had to offer because I care about
this game world and its characters and not because I couldn’t find The Main Ingredient
shop which sells it. Upon offering the dried up dust belonging
to an elderly fairy to the shrine, a voice appeared in my ears and told me how to obtain
Daedric artifact. Well, I couldn’t find it. But if I released the souls of her followers
who’ve trapped in a nearby Minecraft for countless ages, she would obtain me the blood. These guys were the real deal. Most of them went down with one sneakily placed
arrow, but some of them withstood being used as a glorified pincushion for my arrows, taking
5 or 6 arrows to be downed. The zombie sent by one of the ghosts did me
a good startle. With all the vampires dead, yes they were
vampires I didn’t know that until the thing popped up on my screen, I could return to
Cloud Ruler Temple to sleep myself up to Level 3, pick the same attributes to improve, and
be rewarded with Azura’s Star as a thank you at the shrine. After giving the star to Martin, Jauffre talked
my head off about some Mythic Dawn plan to attack Bruma. Someone must think I was born yesterday, because
I don’t remember being told that it’s actually an Oblivion Gate that opened up outside
Bruma. I probably was told and just forgot, it’s
a legitimate problem. I don’t remember when it started. More Scamps were inside the Oblivion World. Sneak attacks on all of them made it a cake
walk. However, this dimension of hell introduces
us to the spitfire towers, they’re these little tower pricks that spin up and blast
fire towards you at the speed of light. Rather annoying to get past. Being in 3rd person helps quite a bit for
this. Inside the Fury Spike, no enemy ever had a
chance thanks to the expendable and bio-degradable companions accompanying me. The fire water in this area also kills you. Getting through the rest of the tower was
trivial at worst. Rather high up the tower, I broke about 15
lock picks trying to idiot the door open. At the tippy top of the tower I accidentally
killed a friendly, the game told me Todd Howard saw what I did, I another sigil stone, apparently
teleporting back killed a few guys, Burd understood how to close any additional gates that opened,
and Jauffre begged me to ask the leaders of other cities in Cyrodiil and the Elder Council
to send more men to Bruma. Not a chance. Bruma can burn. Martin’s next impossible task for me was
the blood of a god. He’s asking me for the innards of something
that doesn’t actually exist. Tiber Septim’s armor has his blood because
hygiene means nothing in the name of religion. The sanctum holding Septim’s armor is haunted,
cursed, bamboozled, bazinga’d, it got the Bethesda treatment, whatever you want to call
it, it’s got it. I got arrested as soon as I set foot in the
Imperial City. I found that odd as I hadn’t any memory
of committing a crime. But I’m a good American, even if I didn’t
commit the crime, I’ll do the time. After getting what I went to the Imperial
City for, I entered the wilderness to find the catacombs of Sancre Tor. Once there, I thought I hit a road block because
I’m stupid. My arrows did nothing against the ghosts. Sneaking past them wasn’t an option. Outrunning something without legs is frowned
upon in a civilized society so that wasn’t an option either. Somewhere along the way I figured out that
fire magic and defeat the ghosts. I had enough magic juice coursing through
my fingernails to kill about 3 ghosts back to back without needing to wait for my magic
to return. The Ghost of Rielus was laid to rest, but
his companions were not. They too must achieve the eternal slumber
before they would have the power to lift the curse from the catacombs, thus unsealing the
door to the armor. I gotta kill more ghosts. Your own patience, if you’re in a position
like me where you don’t have a large pool of magic to draw from or powerful enough spells
to kill the transparent ghosts in one blast, will be your undoing down in these wicked
corridors. Also the spells in this game sometimes seem
like they track you. They don’t, I know that as a probable fact,
it’s just that sometimes a ghost will fire in the direction you’re going, and if you’re
slow in the head enough you won’t react in time to stop moving, then you get hit and
die. All things considered, this was more time
consuming than anything else. There’s a lot of ground to cover, three
different cursed Blades you must find and relieve of their duties. It’s likely that I could’ve just ignored
the ghosts and sprinted past them, but I didn’t do that. Once all four are dealt with, the enchantment
sealing the Shrine to Tiber Septim will be dispelled and you can retrieve the armor. Because I’m familiar with how video games
work, I fully expected some giant boss ghost to emerge from the stone box when I picked
up the armor. Didn’t happen, though I did get a few action
shots that I fully intended on using as the basis for a thumbnail. Oh well, that’s what I get for making the
thumbnail before the script is finished. I spoke to all four ghosts despite figuring
out after talking to the 2nd that they would all say the same thing, attempted to rob another
tomb, and returned to Martin while wearing the armor, hoping for some unique reaction. Then I remembered that this game was released
in like 1991, I was expecting too much of it. Martin’s Short Bus Scavenger Hunt continued
with a Great Welkynd Stone. Just like all the other odds and ends I’ve
collected, a Great Welkynd Stone is not easy to come by. In fact, there’s only one known to be left
which just so happens to be located in the ruins of Miscarcand because of course it is. You can think of Miscarcand as the Dwemer
Ruins of Oblivion. It’s a place where an ancient civilization
lived before the age of Men. There are also very light puzzle elements
at play here. the only kind of puzzle I can tolerate is
connect the dots with 2 dots. Anything else, I can’t do it. And to make matters worser, there are Bitterfish
Goblins down in these ruins as well, I say as if I have any idea that means. All you need to know is that they’re shockingly
quick and deceptively dead after I’m done with them. You’ve gotta press buttons to activate doors
and find the doors that open and it’s an ordeal and half. In the final room lies the Great Welkynd Stone
in all of its great stony glory. The big spooky will be unhappy that you’ve
taken his most prized possession, you won’t care because possession is 9/10ths of the
law, he’ll die faster than you’d expect for someone named The King of Miscarcand,
most likely because if you’re a cool cat you’ll playing on the easiest difficulty. Then, with the 3rd item, Martin will be ready
for what comes next. What comes next is what Governors of states
with fewer than 10,000,000 people have nightmares about, opening a Great Oblivion Gate. We need one last object, a Great Sigil Stone,
to open a portal to Paradise Falls, where Mankar Camoran calls home. The Countess of Bruma was less than thrilled
to learn that we wanted to rip open a giant portal to Heck in her backyard. In the temple, I had the option of telling
the Countess that we would hold off opening the gate until I gathered more allies for
our cause. Problem with that is that more people lowers
the likelihood that we’ll all die horrendously or just get dragged into the portal to be
tortured for the rest of our natural lives. I held off on the reinforcements. They don’t need more reinforcements anyway,
I’m all the reinforcements they need. Sean Bean gave a brilliant speech at the first
portal, and wave after wave of Daedric Forces were sent to defeat us as more portals began
to open. Now, I know what you’re thinking, my health
is full. And you’re right, in an open combat situation
like this, it defeats the purpose of the run. I noticed that shortly after the third Oblivion
Gate opened, which was why, rather than setting my health to one right then and there, I reloaded
a save to before that battle began, made sure my Health was at 1, and did this entire thing
again. The number of seconds wasted was astronomical,
at least 350. If not 400. It was unprecedented in the history of Mitten
Squad Oblivion No Damage Runs. Marty the Elephant gave his speech again,
my health was at 1, and the battle began again. This felt a lot more like a climactic final
battle than anything I remembered in Skyrim. The Dremora Churl’s and Scamps just kept
coming, wave after wave, increasing in intensity and number as gate after gate opened. Oddly enough the Scamps were tougher than
the Churls, they only took 2 or 3 arrows to kill, but landing 2 arrows on a moving target
while you’re moving and also trying to not get hit by any other flying projectile or
40 pound mace being wielded by a red maniac is no easy feat. I had my first crash as I prepared to enter
the giant Oblivion Gate. After trying and failing to get a cinematic
shot of me running to the giant gate, I entered the Plane of Oblivion and I was swept away
by a tidal wave of confusion about where to go or what to do. I meandered my way north, when all else fails,
go up towards the giant mechanical demon machine. I realized my mistake, reloaded a save to
inside one of the towers, crossed the rainbow bridge, scaled more towers filled with Dremora…
people, I’ve been saying Daedric when I maybe should’ve been saying Dremora. I bet that’s pretty annoying if you care
about that sort of thing. With the War Gate lowered, opened, whatever,
I continued my way through the Plane of Oblivion, opened a portal door to World Breaker, sneak
attacked all the things, obtained the Great Flaming Ball of Love and Misery, the giant
machine was apparently in the middle of breaking into our dimension when I left that dimension,
Martin told me we had all the necessary components to track down the Amulet of Kings from Mankar
Camoran, and it was time to travel to Paradise, but not before stopping by the market AND
GETTING ARRESTED AGAIN. I still have no idea what I did wrong. I was less enthusiastic about serving my sentence
this time. I was so unenthusiastic about it that I forgot
to put on pants after getting my clothes back. I sold what I didn’t need, which was like
everything except for my bow, arrows, armor that boosts stats, and ceremonial weapons
that I’ll never use but will keep on my person at all times anyway. I also traveled out to The Archer’s Paradox
in Bravil to stock up on arrows before returning to Martin once more, and entering Paradise
to face Mankar Camoran. The first being I encountered was an Ascended
Immortal. He called this place a nightmare, but the
name of the area we’re in is the Savage Gardens. There are demon dino dogs roaming the countryside
looking for tasty mortals to feast on. The only thing working to their advantage
is their speed. They’re not particularly tough. After killing Kathutet and not speaking to
him, I obtained the Bands of the Chosen, and entered the Flooded Grotto to see what else
Camoran had in store for me. The Flooded Grotto was cool, but the Forbidden
Grotto is where it’s at. Nothing better than the screams of people
stuck in lava without being allowed to die. I, of course, had to join him to see if it
was as fun as it looked. Expecting everything to be a threat, I attacked
from the farthest distance possible at all times. A fair way into the Forbidden Grotto, I paused
the challenge to see if the boots I’d found that let me walk on water worked on the fire
water, which they did. It wasn’t much longer after that that I
arrived at the door to Paradise, the ultimate blockage. My understanding of what was happening here
was I cannot, under any circumstances, enter Paradise while wearing the Bands of the Chosen,
and I cannot take off the Bands of the Chosen. Even with God Mode enabled as a funny haha,
I get a message popping up on the screen basically telling me I can’t open the door and I’m
blasted in the face with some green magic. I was sure I’d reached an insurmountable
impasse, a fork in the road that stabs me in the eye before I can make any decision. Then, my knight in shining armor appeared
before me in my hour of need. Eldamil, an Altmer crybaby who led the Daedric
army at the battle of Kvatch, freed me from my wretched existence by removing the Bands
of the Chosen, allowing me to enter Paradise proper, be lead to Carac Agaialor by Ruma
Camoran, and confront Mankar Camoran at last. I got whacked almost immediately by one of
his guards, retreated after loading my last save, took out Mankar Camoran with 2 well
placed arrows, took all his virtual possessions, was teleported back to Cloud Ruler Temple,
and gave Martin Septim the Amulet of Kings… after I tried to wear it. After countless battles, the end is in sight. The Oblivion Crisis can be finished once and
for all if Emperor Martin Septim relights the Dragonfires in the Capital city. Thankfully I wasn’t arrested this time,
High Chancellor Ocato confessed that the man I saw earlier in the Imperial City wasn’t
actually Shrek, and Mehrunes Dagon made one last ditch effort to stop us. He sent his toughest minions to kill us all. But rules is rules and they’re not allowed
on the table, mom said so. They couldn’t reach me up there, except
for when they could. Outside, things were not good. More Dremora than you can wrap your pathetic
singular mind around. In the Temple District, the unthinkable happened. We got end-gamed. It was too late. Mehrunes Dagon arrived in Tamriel, and the
laws of our universe dictate that he cannot be destroyed here. But if there’s one thing Sean Bean knows
how to do, it’s die. He had a plan, and the full might of whatever
remained of the Imperial Legion rallied behind Martin and I as all of us together pushed
through the final stage in the Oblivion invasion towards the Temple of the One. Inside the Temple, Martin revealed the details
of his plan. As Mehrunes Dagon laid waste to the temple,
Martin used his royal blood and the Amulet of Kings to turn into a giant golden fire
breathing parrot. The two engaged in a titanic slugfest for
the fate of Tamriel. Ultimately, after being showered in holy fire,
Mehrunes Dagon fell before Emperor Martin Septim, who turned to stone upon defeating
the Deadric Prince of Oblivion, the final cutscene rolled, and I’m pretty sure I beat
The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion Without Taking Any Damage.
