Cyberpunk 2077 is a pretty big game,
there’s so many people to meet, places to visit, quests to complete,
details about the world to uncover, it’s staggering. But just like a mansion
owned by a family of billionaire hoarders, there’s bound to be some filth under the
beautiful surface. That, of course, brings up an important question. Can You Beat Cyberpunk
2077 Without Encountering Any Bugs Or Glitches? No. Wanna know how I know that? Sadly, I can’t
even show you. If you’ve gone anywhere on the internet in the last 10 days, you’ve undoubtedly
heard about how the game runs on last-gen systems. And if you’ve seen my videos, you
may know that I play on an iMac. I like to think CD Project Red knew a few of us
morons would try playing this on Mac, because the problem of the game completely crashing
my computer and forcing a restart on its own, not just crashing the game, is as alive and well
here as it is on PS4 and Xbox One. My computer restarted itself while playing probably half a
dozen times. I almost didn’t even make this video because I got 90 minutes in, the game restarted
my computer, and the footage was all gone. As it turns out, that was the best thing that could’ve
happened. Seems as though Lady Luck flipped her hair in my direction on Monday after the
traumatizing experience I had basically reverse guillotine’ing myself with one of the 24 inch TV’s
I bought for my Wii Sports video. On Sunday night, in a somewhat inebriated state, I tripped over
god-knows what while moving a TV and the bottom of my neck slammed real ing hard on the top of
the TV with the full weight of my frame behind it. It was as awful as you can imagine and my voice is
still recovering from it as you can probably tell. However, hopped up on painkillers, I launched
Cyberpunk 2077 once more, and the real game began. But first, more importantly, the Mitten Squad
Christmas Sweater sweatshirt and Christmas Sweater family of products are still for sale despite
the Christmas delivery window being closed. The sweatshirt and and blanket are as beautiful
in-person as they appear online. In the interest of helping as many people as possible find their
Christmas spirit, you can use the promo code 2077 to get 10% off any Mitten Squad Teespring
product, but that promotion ends on Christmas Eve at 11:59PM EST, so you’ve gotta act fast. Or
you don’t, it’s your money, spend it how you want. I’ll tell you real quick that this video contains
spoilers for the entirety of Cyberpunk, so if you don’t want it spoiled, ya best skedaddle.
After choosing Easy and a Nomad as my race, I began making someone as true to me as I possibly
could without wanting to put time and effort into making it actually look like me. It lacked the
balding hair-style and overly protruding eyeballs, but I got pretty not close at all for
only 3 minutes of time. Because I had no idea about anything in this game, I went
with what I thought was a fairly balanced, if a little combat aggressiveness oriented, set of
attributes. I’ve had my car battery stolen enough times to know that all you’ve gotta do to fix
Lightning McQueen is rip out some cable, turn him on, and he’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth.
Sheriff wasn’t overly fond of my attitude or my unwillingness to get him a Mater autograph for his
son, I left, did some Far Cry nonsense, and met up with Jackie Wells, a man with a package the size
of a large package. He’s got the cargo, I’ve got the wheels, he’s got the nicely shaped skull,
I knew right away that we were a dream team. Our trip the the border went rather well, aside
from me somehow ing up a U-turn worse than anyone in history probably has. I’d hoped to just ram
through the gate because this is an open world game with choices, but Cyberpunk is to open world
games as Meow Motors is to feline Kart racers. Don’t ask what that means, I’m still not sure
myself. It was a good thing the border guard had glow-sticks in his eyes, else he wouldn’t
have been able to read the sheet I gave him or the dollar amount on the bribe I slipped his way.
The first of at least 2 double crosses occurred here when they sent a fleet of the world’s worst
police officers to stop us. In their defense, they were about as good with their guns as I was
with mine. What was the cargo you might be asking? A lizard who seemed not to pleased about missing
out on a high-five. Then there was the cutscene that shows you getting antiquated with Night City,
dancing, armed robberies, getting settled into a new apartment, and we get squeezed out in the
2nd trimester ready to tackle our first real job, rescuing a client who’s been MIA for hours. As
this is still basically the tutorial section, combat is nothing to sniff a stick at. Doing
the whole “shooting” thing with guns never gets much more interesting than it is here, but later
on, with perks and different weapons and hacking and , it becomes more interesting. Good ol’ Sandy
Doresett was having a wonderful time dying in the hot tub when I showed up, stuck a Stimpak into her
chest, and delivered her into the loving arms of the American healthcare system who would never let
someone sit and wait for 3 hours to get a CT scan all the while they might’ve done serious damage
to their neck by hurting themselves with a TV. As we escaped, Wakako, our intermediary
for this particular mission, politely informed Jackie and I that the city was
on lockdown, guess we know when this game is set, don’t we viewers watching this in the
current year? Back at my apartment, I stashed some garbage in my weapon closet, all
good Michigan apartments have a weapon closet, I happened to keep my 5 Wii’s in mine, and I drove
Jackie and myself to Viktor Von Viktor’s house, the finest ripperdoc on this side of whatever
street he happens to operate out of. He set me up with some flex tape on my right hand to
hold my gun better and some new and improved eyeballs that have a computer built right into
them. Like Google Glass except not a waste of money. While I was getting plastic surgery to
make The Lovely Paulina even more beautiful, Jack spoke to Dexter DeShawn, another Fixer, who’s
got lofty goals and the weight to back it up. We’re gonna steal the most valuable item from
the world’s most powerful family. But to get in to steal it, we need an itsy-bitsy robot spider
that is more than capable of making people scream and shout. It probably goes without saying that
I’m going to be glossing over if not completely ignoring a -ton of stuff I did throughout this
run because I don’t want this video to be 2 hours long. Evelyn Parker’s the gal I’m after at the
moment, and she resides herself in a bar during the evening time. Iniside the bar, we discussed
the plan, of which she is a vital component seeing as she knows that the biochip I’m after is tucked
away in the top floor suite of Kenpoki Plaza. Blasting your way inside the building would be
like trying to sneeze down the Great Wall of China. The building itself will crumble and fall
from the bulldozer that is time before we’d get anywhere near the chip. But technology and the
power of imagination save the day once again. I’m still not 100% sure what a brain dance is.
I can only assume it’s like when I said I wanted the ghost Margaret Thatcher to stick her tongue
in my left ear, wrap her tongue around my brain, and come back out my right ear. The point of this
here experience is to get you accustomed to being an editor for a YouTuber with 11,000,000
subscribers who pays you with exposure and free merch, you learn the ins and outs of editing
within the Squidward’s Dream level of Battle for Bikini Bottom. You can scan various items, sounds,
and heat signatures to expose details the average viewer would miss. With the training round over,
I watched Evelyn play pop-goes-the-weasel with Yorinobu Arasaka’s favorite sausage, saw where
he keeps his favorite toys with help from T-Bug, explained to Evelyn that my knife isn’t big enough
to get all the way through DeShawn’s thick back, briefly became World Famous Super
Cop slash Murderer Milton Squid, and met with Meredith Stout, a woman whom I
tried to blackmail, for more information about how to proceed with our grand scheme. Yeah,
she wasn’t a fan of that. She provided me with the credit card I’d need to get the Spider
Robot from the Maelstrom Boys, I did my first and only successful shard hack, and Jackie and I
entered the Maelstrom hideout to strike a deal.
To say that this didn’t go as planned would be
the understatement of the 27th century. Royce, their new leader, was disrespectful towards
me, which prompted a similar response from me. As the saying goes, violence baguettes
violence, so I stuck a bullet under his tongue and let the games begin. I won’t lie, in
this firefight through their compound, I regretted playing on Easy. I probably could’ve
changed the difficulty, and possibly probably should’ve, but I didn’t, I’m too stubborn for
that. I chose to exist in my own disappointment rather than take the necessary steps to fix
something. Never did find the Slab King, though. Back at the Afterlife, the meeting ground for
all sorts of nefarious characters including but not limited to exclusively me, Jack and I
shared a drink named after a certain special someone named Keanu Reeves who shall remain
nameless, and we entered the Hyperbolic Time Chamber to go over the plan with Dexter and Dee
Dee. Short version is Jack and I are posing as international weapon dealers and lovers who are on
our honeymoon at Kenpoki Plaza. The plan is set, the pieces of been assembled, all that’s
left to do is flip the goddamn board and start anew. We donned our suits without a
tie, entered the hotel, and let the games begin. The first obstacle was the receptionist, social
interactions with people who might not be people are a . If you’ve ever asked the UPS Virtual
Assistant it’s favorite color then called it a for not answering the question, you’ll know
exactly what I mean. While Jack went to the room, I was busy failing the challenge properly.
Some dip left their phone floating right in the middle of the hallway. So now we
can properly say, with actual evidence, that you cannot beat Cyberpunk
2077 without encountering any bugs, though I’ve got a feeling you’ve probably
seen more than a few already. Regardless, this isn’t the type of challenge where I restart
if I fail. What this really is is clickbait. I thought if there was ever a game to do what
is effectively a no-challenge run challenge, it would be this one. If you feel mislead,
I implore you to hit the dislike button. Inside the hotel, stage 1 began. I used the
power of hacking and eyesight to navigate the bug through the various rooms to get it to the
Netagent. That’s a fancy name for the obese 45 year old man watching the cameras. While I got a
brain dance earlier, this lucky guy got a special dance of his own. A few hours later, Bug got into
the system, and Jack and I made our next move by taking the elevator to the penthouse to snag
the biochip. They say that the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray, but there are no
real men in the future and mice have been extinct ever since the Ratatouille uprising in the summer
of ’31. From within the safety of a maintenance shaft, we watched the unthinkable unfold. Saburo
Arasaka arrived to give his son a scolding. I’ve always thought that a swift backhand across
the face was a better disciplinary measure than hurtful words. Then again I laughed after I got
spanked as a kid so I’m probably not the best person to speak on such matters. Yorinobu went
and offed Daddy, told his guard to lock down the building because he was poisoned by our enemies,
Bug went and got herself got, leaving Jack and I to take to the skies in an escape attempt
that really was a colossal ing disaster. To secure the safety of the chip, Jack did what
he did best, stick something in a hole in his head. Then came the escape and because this is
a video game, there are dozens of ways you can go about getting out of the building. You can
shoot your way out or be sneaky. I love options. I tried to sneaky path for a while but lacked the
skills, perks, and mental fortitude to do it, so I turned to violence as the answer. What with this
being the California hub for the Arasaka family, it’s among the most fortified buildings in the
land with enemies who don’t around. Predictably, there was a pretty substantial bug that kept
me from progressing. An enemy I had to kill to obtain a key fled the scene and was a solid
4.5 kilometers away. With no way to get to him, my only option was to go several minutes
back in time and run through the entire combat sequence as quickly as possible
to keep the little from running away. Down on the main floor, I was so incredibly
disappointed by an LMG I’d found a bit earlier. A handful of EMP grenades did far more
damage against the sentry bot than the bullet hose did. That’s what people who
are good at video games would refer to as “using an enemies weakness against them”. It’s
a useful thing to do, which is why I don’t do it very often. A Mitten Prime example of that is how
I used a silenced handgun to clear out the garage rather than entering the car to make a speedy
getaway. My little rampage did not come without a price, Jack got a bullet to the liver in the
process and his is not nearly as healthy as mine. I could tell you what happened next,
but showing you would just be easier. That’s right, Jackie Boy went to be with my dead
dog in the big server in the sky and DeShawn, not at all thrilled with the death of the
Emperor, gave me a free bullet as a parting gift, and I awoke inside a dream of another life,
as a rockstar with a metal hand. I’ve always wanted to be Captain Hook. After the show, the
gang and I rode the Vertibird towards Arasaka tower to finish the fight, in the past. My
guess is that combination of the absurdly overpowered gun and fire hand are meant to show
how good Jonny Silverhand was at what he did, but I wasn’t that into it. I then planted a
bomb, Adam Smasher planted something in me, and with a mushroom cloud coming over the horizon,
Subaru Arasaka ripped my soul from my body. The real me woke up in a ditch somewhere,
was saved by Takumera, Saboru’s bodyguard, and another escape began. For a moment I thought
the mission glitched, my weapons seemed to do practically nothing against the ninjas sent to
end us, but it’s all a part of the game, also I forgot to mention that after Jack died I stuck the
chip inside me, sloppy seconds never hurt anyone. Both Takmura and I were gravely injured, myself
more-so than him, good ol’ Vik patched me up, and broke the news as gently as he could:
the ghost of a bad actor is haunting my brain and is going to kill me. That was a joke, for
the love of God don’t cancel me. He gave me the same pills my doctor gave me after I ed up my
neck, I could either take them to prolong the suffering like a real gamer or end it all
quickly by letting the voices take control. Still mad after hearing someone pronounce
trilogy as “tril-a-gee”, I refused to help anyone named John in any way whatsoever. Not
that I really had any say in the matter, though. Johnny Boy’s trapped inside my ind with me,
and we either find a way to get him out, he takes control, or we both go to a
family dinner at the Golden Corral, also known as death. Back in the saddle, I put on
my fedora and scouter like a good little gamer, sold a bunch of garbage, and met
up with Takemura at a restaurant to see what he had to say. Evelyn’s the key to
unraveling this ball of yarn according to him. Anders Hellman’s Mayonnaise is also connected
to this somehow. While he called in some favors, I got to work tracking down Evelyn and or Mr
Mayo. I assumed, because the game told me to talk to her, that Judy Neutron would have
all the secrets. And the game was right, Evelyn’s a whore working in the Cloud District,
but I imagine you don’t get there very often. Before entering the club, I took a quick detour
to see how this game reacts to terrorist attacks, not as well as I’d hoped. Realism comes at a
cost, it seems. I also couldn’t kill the guy who only appears in my eyes, that’s another point for
realism. Silly me accidentally chose the man whore to spend my time with, it’s too bad there’s no
way to reload a save to make a different choice. I played him like a fiddle, made
him regret ever coming into work, snuck my way into the VIP room, and interrogated
Tom, one of Evelyn’s lovers for more info. He pointed me towards Woodman who was not too
thrilled to see me kneel down to speak to him like he was a sick child who just got diagnosed
with toddler Alzheimer's. I’m pretty sure this was the first boss fight of the game. It
payed off, I got a pretty snazzy automatic rifle from his body sack. Initially, my
plan for leaving was to mix things up, try shoot my way out. Unfortunately, I had
not taken my own stupidity into account. In the heat of battle I relied too much on the
mini-map and forgot to just take the ing elevator to leave, then I remembered the elevator and
couldn’t leave because of the implication. Finally free, Johnny explained Soulkiller,
where he died, Mikoshi, ya know, all that stuff I probably haven’t mentioned yet because like I
said, there’s a lot of ground to cover here. I can only assume that Jonny’s plan was to talk to Rogue
about tracking down Hellman, I say that because I lost more footage to another computer restarting
crash. I didn’t do things exactly the same in the next go around but we still got where we was
going. Rogue’s price for info is 15,000 ed-boys. Got another glitch on the way out, this game just
keeps getting better and better. Luckily for me, stopping violence with even greater violence
rewards a hefty amount of currency from the police and Wakako still owes me for the Biochip job.
Wasn’t as much as I’d hoped, but still put me within striking distance of my goal. What pushed
me over the river and through the woods was running over grandmother with Lieutenant Lawn
Mower, a tough criminal who just so happened to cross paths with me when I tracked her down to
murder her. A couple more crime syndicates were eradicated on my way to cash in my Chuck E Cheese
tickets for cheap body augmentations, I dumped barrels of currency into the Rouge River to send
it to Zug Island to be burned, got information about Hellman, and a new problem occurred. After
being ing aggravated by my computer restarting and corrupting my recordings, I swapped over to
a capture card and a 2nd computer. What I hadn’t even considered was Cyberpunk infecting my MacBook
with more bugs. Elgato Capture Software just froze like snail caught committing armed robbery.
You didn’t miss much. Rogue pointed me towards Panam who of course wouldn’t help me unless I
helped her out first, that’s how games work. Also you will probably notice dark parts
of the game being much darker than before, nothing I can do about that really. I’m gonna try
to fix it with editing but I can’t guarantee it, what you see is the best I could come up with.
With Panam’s supplies loaded into her car, we rode to an abandoned town to lay an ambush
for the group that stole her truck. I got flung 650 feet when I tried to jump in a window, it
happened twice actually. When the clan arrived, we lit up the town like a Christmas ham, I massacred
everyone in the finest display of firearm handling anyone’s ever seen, we got Panam’s truck back,
and we stormed the Raffen hideout to kill them all because that’s what good Americans do. When
you’re down and out with the bases loaded, genocide is the answer. As I’ve said already,
there really isn’t much to talk about with combat. It’s the kind of game that’s much more interesting
to play than it is to watch someone explain. It’s worth mentioning that in
the gunfight that broke out, aside from realizing how true god-awful
the ground looks on the lowest settings, I got an energy rifle that can shoot throw
walls, this carried me for a long ass time. With Panam’s goods delivered to interested
customers, we had ourselves a celebratory drink, she revealed herself to be an alcoholic, which
is probably why I despise her as a character. Alcohol is for weak-minded simpletons. Ignore my
pile of bottles that are easier measured in square feet rather than number of bottles. Now that we
had her truck back, we can get down to business. There’s an AV, that’s short for Airborne
Vehicular, that’s gonna be passing over a power plant and Hellman’s onboard. All
we have to do is sneak into the plant, rig the system to detonate an EMP, and Hellman
will be ready to spread on my sandwich in no time. Of course, no plan can go off without a hitch.
The EMP mostly worked and Panam nailed it with her flying bomb, but Mitch and Scorpion,
two of her closest Aldecaldo clan mates, saw the bird get shot out of the sky and went
to investigate, not knowing it was armed by Kang Tao robo-soldiers. She tried to warn them,
but, ya know, we just detonated a ing EMP. This is why all EMP’s have a warning on them to
ask for your parents permission before detonating, you gotta do it right or something will
go wrong. Panam pretended to be Jack as we neared the downed AV, meaning
it was up to me to clear the area. That rifle I got charges up when looking down
the sites to deliver a powerful shot and with the addition of a scope, it made quick work of all
foes. Scorpion was nowhere to be found, his body was crushed under the weight of my ego, but Mitch
was alive and well despite being a hostage. The remaining King Tao forces took Hellman to a nearby
gas station for storage. Getting in was a little tricky, so much so that I died. Pretending to be
Rambo is not always the best course of action. Sometimes blinding yourself with a flash-bang
is the only way to see the light and learn what you must do. I had to knock out Hellman. He had
Hell in his name, pain was always in his future. As Takemura journeyed to the motel, Hellman and I
had a little conversation. The learned me that the only reason I’m alive is that Johnny Silverhand,
the resident living inside the chip in my head, saw an opportunity to do an @everyone ping inside
my head right as I died to summon everyone back to their posts, except he invited a bot to the server
while we were away, and it’s only a matter of time before Johnny has full-on owner privileges. In the
time it took me to have an out of body experience, Takemura teleported 3 kilometers away despite
being in the hotel when I left. I really do like this game, it’s easily one of my favorite
games of 2020, not that that’s very high praise since I only played like 4 games that released
this year. My point being, I know it’s a game, but that teleporting thing annoys me. It
would’ve been easy to add an invisibly timer to let Takemura or whoever relocate somewhere else
even if they still just appear there later. My other complaint is the opposite of that, driving
off-road in a ty car is ty, who’d’ve thunk it. On the way back to Takemura, I did away with some
bikers with a few grenades. A few cops didn’t like that, maybe I was confused and only thought
they were bikers, maybe they were kids playing on bikes, either way, I took one of those bikes for
myself, lost the fuzz, and met Takemura’s contact; Oda. See, Takkie wants to tell Saburo’s daughter
Hanako who really killed her brother, and Oda is her bodyguard. He was not very convinced. He said
I’d bring death to my door, little did he know I’m a door to door door salesman. That might’ve
sounded cooler without the extra door at the end. Takemura has yet another plan
and it’s his best one yet. They’re throwing a parade in Hanako’s honor
and he’s gonna infiltrate her parade float. I get the sensation he’s always wanted to be
inside a giant holographic fish in the sky, can’t say I blame him. Wakako gave us a shard
containing the exact routes and positions the float will take, the rest is up to us. While he
tracked down more leads, I ed some dumb whore, crashed into a pole, and got to work taking care
of more pressing matters. Mr Hands, a fixer who introduced himself to me over the cellular after
I left Clouds looking for Evelyn, has managed to get me int touch with the Voodoo Boys. They run
Pacifica, one of the many regions in Night City. I was not told why meet, only meet, and so I meet.
His name is Placide, like phlacid only I imagine he’s not with that knife in his hand. Together
Placide and I went on the longest power-walk of all time, to his desk which is weirdly right here
and not at all what I was expecting. He give me a job, there’s a van in a mall and he wants it. My
job is to get in there and make it happen. Inside, I went for the stealth option because I dealt with
a few goons outside and they were no pushover, and because I couldn’t think of any good to
way sneak through with how many people there were. So I blew my cover and holy ing hitchhiking
jesus what a mistake that was. People everywhere, dozens of them, all tough as , but none tougher
than Mr himself Paulie “Matilda K Rose the Sasquatch” Lombardi. The big idiot pinned
me against a wall and beat me with a hammer, it’s like pre-school all over again. Damn
you Tyler and your piece of toy hammer. After the Squatch died, I had to contend with the
leftovers, the scraps, statistically speaking the majority of what remained. That energy rifle
really tenderized my macon inside the mall. One to two shots was all it took to kill most
people. They fell one by one, but one remained, the agent hidden in the cinema playing unconscious
dental patient simulator. Actually he wasn’t unconscious. I wrote that as I was running to
the room but I like it so I’m leaving it in. The Network Agent let me in on the game, me. I’m
being played by the Voodoo Boys. They injected me with a virus while I was plugged into their
system and used me as a catalyst to off every agent in their system. It was a good plan, except
they didn’t count on me being the protagonist of this story. Placide was none informed of the plan
I laid that involving me surviving and returning. Brigitte the Digit arrived just as Placide was
leaving because he knew choosy moms choose Jiff, but he’s more of a gif guy (that was the
greatest thing I’ve ever written). She offered to buy it for money and stuff but
didn’t understand how Johnny and I are two pickled sausages in a corn stalk. She can
help me, with what I’m not sure, let’s just say the Paul writing is having a difficulty
understanding big concepts at the moment. There’s a Blackwall set up by Netwatch around
the entire cyberspace. I got it now. Alt Cunningham went beyond the wall at the end of the
series, Johnny needs her, forgot to mention that, and the Bridigite can get me inside the cyber.
One second I’m chilling in an ice bath like I did after soccer matches in high school. I didn’t
play soccer though, next second you’re in the universe where everything that exists is the sick
child of a drunken -fest between a pin screen and a Light Bright. Bridgitte was about tel tell me
that it should only take a moment to find the alt-clone when bedtime came but I still had my
cool lava lamp plugged in. Then another dream, because it’s time to sleep, Alt Cunningham’s a
woman, gotta be honest I thought it was a middle aged man. She got mugged by the Arasaka’s, Johnny
rounded up the usual suspects. We’ve got Rogue, Tank Dempsey, Squidward, and Macho
Man Randy Savage himself, Santiago. Then a combat sequence which is as bland as the
first one and driving combat with this pistol is as uninteresting as everything I tried to
come up for this joke. We laid a plan to storm Arasaka Tower to rescue Richie Cunningham. Big
ass concert followed by a terrorist attack. As my children’s children used to say in the
future, the music of the 2050’s is satanic, it’s gonna cause trouble. More combat,
who gives a , Yoshi got hit head cut off, and Cyberpunk subverted our expectations by not
having her come back to life after having her soul leaved on 4chan. It’s amazing to have a
twist right after subverting our expectations, dangerous too, could lead to pulling a muscle
in your make believe moral high ground. Next stage in video game is traveling
to the Blackwall. But I must go alone, for I alone am stuck in a ty Windows
XP screensaver. Alt’s here, ban her, jk don’t she’s my cousin. Johnny’s here too, we
had ourselves a little chat about digit style and how to get Johnny out of me. I think, this
is another of those big brain concepts. We get her to Mikoshi and she makes an engram out of me,
rips out Johnny, stuffs my Johnny in his place, and I live happily ever after. TL:DR Bridget lied
to me, so she and her entire family had to die. Some of them are so eager for it that they
welcome it. Placid’s body finally went limp when I robbed him of his life, I took a tumble
for the 2nd time this week, had the game ruin what should’ve been an emotional moment where Johnny
2x4 and I talked about what it’s like to die. After all that pussy crybaby ,
Takemura called me told me to meet, he’s got the bug and he’s not even wearing a
mask. To make sure the bug worked, I performed a small test which consisted of pressing x,
pressing a, pressing x a gain, and climbing a ladder. We tried to grab a snack too but he
wasn’t interested in eating his croquet balls. Here’s the plan, I’m pretty sure I explained it
to you earlier when I didn’t mean to because at that point in the story you don’t know that
yet, what is happening to my mind. Anyway, Cyberpunk and whatnot. The parade. He’s
handling getting on and I’m taking out 3 snipers who’ll watching from the rooftops
waiting to put a bullet in my doorbell. While he reconnoiters the area, I had time
to kill. Literally. This is that time thing I mentioned earlier. To pass the time, I thought
suicide would be a fun thing to try. The best suicides are the ones you don’t see coming, like
an accident involving tripping on nothing and falling neck first onto a TV or opening fire on
a restaurant full of high level movers. Even with my fancy wall penetrating without protection
electronic energy projection weapon, I never succeeded. I spent longer than you’d think on that
too, tried a couple different tactics, running in hands first with a shotgun, throwing grenades
inside the building and having half of them get stuck on the doorframe. I tried everything I
could think of and nothing worked. Outraged at my own failure and inability to kill a simple mobster
like a man, I went to the police. Not to ask for help, to kill them. Got a job from some rando who
spent his life savings to watch someone get hit and died on the scene when they opened fire back
at us. The life of a Discord mod is never easy. Still needing something to due, I thought
to do a right and proper side quest, believe it or not I did do quite a few of them in
this playthrough. Haven’t met Elizabeth Peralez yet, wonder what her story is. Made a boo-boo with
my bike and that was the end of that idea. The next side mission I actually did was all story, no
action, no real reason to spoil it. Then again if you’re this far into the video you probably don’t
care about spoilers. Well I do, so moving onto the bull . This stage of this quest, like possibly all
the other quests in this game I imagine, can be bugged. In my 90 playthrough that’s lost to time
I couldn’t pick up a dead body in the tutorial, had to restart the game. After, like, so long, my
friend finally called me, it was so good to hear his voice telling me about all the silly things
yesterday like [5 second censor] with the [more]. Now it’s go time, my job is to infiltrate the
Arasaka Industrial Park and hack the system. First half, you know, a few parts took some real effort
to get passed, the big ware house was probably the hardest stealth section in the game so far, but
even then it’s nothing above average. It’s one of not many I experienced where I couldn’t just
blindly bumble around and not get caught. Then, guess what, Bull 2: Return of the Nightmare
on 21 Street. This time, for real, for the third first time ever, I did a side mission
because it was moderate difficulty and far away. Saul, the leader of the Almond Boys, was
abducted, possibly against his will. As usual, it falls on me to get inside and get Saul out.
I’m not 100% sure if stealth was required, Pam made a fuss when I got detected so I’d assume not,
but this was slightly behind the last one. No real reason to say much about it, only so many ways I
can say I strangled someone to death. Saul and I escaped, ran into the loving arms of a deadly
sandstorm, were rescued by the van, we caught refuge in an abandoned building, Panam refused my
advances, she’ll regret that one day, trust me. For saving her dear leader, she gifted me her
rifle, I think I used it once, maybe. Takemura was set, I attempted suicide twice only to realize
that telling him not to jump is a thing you can do, he gave me a shard containing the locations
of the snipers, the parade began, and I got to work performing three assassinations on three
unlucky individuals who’re just doing their jobs. Being in my way is enough to deserve a death
sentence in my book. Let this serve as a warning to everyone. I want Kirby Air Ride 2, and I’m
gonna get it one way or another. Sniper One was as hard to look at as he was easy to kill, I made
sure to drop his body down to the streets below to dispose of it discretely, people don’t spawn down
there it’s safe, had a bit of parkouring to do on my way to the 2nd sniper, part of me is surprised
there weren’t more of these sections in the game, I’m not sure why I expected a lot of rooftop
running in this game. With Bravo 2 down, only Bravo 3 remained. The B stands for Bad Guy
and Bravo. A watchman on the stairs kept detecting me before I could digitally gouge his eyes out,
took several attempts to take care of him it did. Sniper the 3rd planted 3
mines behind him for safety, they saved him once, I interrupted
the Netrunner’s gaming time, and Sandy Ouya emerged with his lightsabers to
end me. It went about as well for him as trying to beat Super Monkey Ball 2 without collecting
any bananas went for me, it was an unrivaled tragedy. Then Takemura went and ed everything
up by shooting Hanako where her heart should be. Thankfully he only knocked her out and changed
her clothes while she was unconscious, he’s a real gentleman. The game restarted my computer again
right before speaking to her. Like going home to play tech support for my family, the fun truly
never ends no matter how badly I wish it would. The next time the game held it together,
she was unwilling to listen to reason, refused to believe her brother who was labeled a
“smug cock” by his coworkers and even made one of them cry by telling them “try not to this order
up if you can manage that” would kill someone for power. Police raided the place, Takemura had
one of the most pathetic off-screen deaths ever, the floor collapsed which I felt was
too convenient even for a video game, I made my escape, Johnny and the voice
inside my head sought refuge in a hotel, Hanako suddenly had a change of heart and
sent a robot to deliver a message for her. Did another oopsie with the mind melting just before
blacking out and waking up in yet another hotel, Johnny promised to go to the Recycling Bin just as
Old Yeller did if we got to Mikoshi, and he had a plan of his own. Adam Smasher needs to go, but
we’ll need Rogue to make it happen, and she’ll only listen to Johnny. I’ve been waiting for this
for a long time, my task is to take drugs and OD. Surprisingly only those who haven’t been paying
attention, Johnny lied. There was heavy drinking, letting someone use his skin as a coloring book,
drugs, violence, what looked like they could’ve been socks with sandals, a car crash, it was a
wild time. At some point in the madness I met with Rogue, convinced her of my plan, had to wait
for Rogue to call, so I headed back out to the Arid Badlands because the Firestone Bounty
Board has a new job for me. Panam wants to steal an armored military panzer tank, because of
course she does. Only 6 of us were in on the plan, there was room for no more at the picnic table,
we rode to the interception point, and began to lay our trap. First we broke into the control
tower, then we restored power to the , watched the big-ass train move, she some some that
I reflected like a ing emotionless mirror, and we headed back outside to get ready for the
ambush. I jumped over her head as a shortcut, managed to die by falling like 3 feet, last save
was back outside when we first arrived at the station, and that was the end of that. I returned
to the city to meet with Hanako at Embers. This is the end of the line. Once this quest
begins, there is no going back. Hanako said that pretty much everyone in the upper echelon
on her family tree knew about her brother’s plot to take over the the entire farm but lacked the
spine to do anything about it. But I’m living breathing proof of his betrayal. All I have to do
is testify and she’ll take me to a Mikoshi access point in Mr House’s Bunker below Arasaka Tower to
get the chip safely removed. Unsure of what to do, side with the or not, I took the elevator
because I needed some air. Makes sense. I needed air so I wen to the most confined space
in this entire building. One more blackout later, I was back in Viks’s shop and if you thought he
was pessimistic the last time I got dragged here, you ain’t seen nothing yet. It’s pretty much
over for me. I said my last goodbye, he gave me a gun and some pills, and Misty led me up to
the rooftop she’d taken Jackie to before he died. John and I had a chat, there was only one path
forward. Only one more move left to make. No pills, no blaze of glory, just a bang that
echoes through the city for a brief moment, then nothing…. Remember when I said
Panam would regret refusing my advances? She’s mad at my suicide because she cared.
She’s sad. Her heart’s broken. I win. If you enjoyed the video…
