Can I Lose Enough Weight to Find Love? | Obese (Australia) S1 Ep6 | Only Human

[Music] when it comes to the super obese these people are too big even for the biggest loser i saw a photo of myself out with friends and i realized how big i was and you know how far from normal that i was they are eating themselves to death and that's why we're here each of these australians has joined trainer lee campbell on life-changing journey get up excuses out the door for some of them it's also been a lifesaver everything starts as a dream mate you just got to make it a goal and then put into action i think with phenomenal results i did everything to make everyone happy when i was a big person now i do everything to make myself happy my strength is phenomenal now as long as you get to the end of it and go on i've given it all i can you're a winner i just sort of know like within myself i'm not going back there so it's just full steam ahead from here at 235 kilos life was a chore when i look back on i can't believe what you know what what i've done in 12 months tonight the season finale i want to have babies and get married i know that in the position i'm in that wouldn't happen this is 22 year old bonnie cools the bit about me that i really don't like is is this this entire thing this thing bonnie stacked on weight in her teens and from there on she got bigger and bigger and bigger i think when i was younger like 14 or 15. i wasn't as big as i am now but i was really conscious of of my weight and i had lots of pressure from people around me to fit in and and be normal and accepted now her obesity makes bonnie the target of cruel public ridicule people can't help themselves but make rude comments and it's hard because you know that their comments made you know solely on my appearance and they they don't know me or know anything about me so it's hurtful what about a boyfriend um yeah of course i would like a boyfriend you know i was engaged at the start of last year but that ended because you know he was a skinny tall boy and he had beautiful friends who didn't accept me and it was an issue the influence from his friends and family and the flat he was copying it took its toll which sucks you know bonnie is now single but she longs for the love of a special man there are however fears i'm really scared to have a relationship with someone now because i don't want to get hurt like that again i don't want to be an embarrassment to someone i know that they'll never accept me 100 because i'm a big girl and solely because of that you know i don't fit in with how they think i should look so you know i'm different what bonnie also longs for is the regular things that regular girls her age do like shopping in a regular clothing store it's pretty small it is very very small extra large so is there a big sense of loss around that for you like i'm really missing out yeah there is there is an and i i i live with someone who who's completely in love with clothes and fashion and shopping and and so i think i attempted to dislike shopping i i hate it it stresses me out to the max and um it's something i don't enjoy you know because i know this is going to be a disappointment for me and so i just avoid it what's the hardest what what do you face i don't like my boobs i don't like my bum i hate my belly i'm super self-conscious now i look in the mirror and i'm disgusted by what i see i don't want to be like this like 100 i can't live like this because i don't like myself anymore now bonnie's life is about to get a complete overhaul in the next hour we'll put her through 300 days of intensive physical and mental training get up get up get up you're there this is the true story of a young woman desperate to lose weight and find love a woman whose problem right now is simply to be 22 year old bonnie cools lives in the upmarket suburb of unley in adelaide her dream is to one day become a fully qualified nurse i love working with oldies and and you know i'd love to do pediatrics and work with babies and stuff but it's tough when this is all patients see i kind of feel like people must look at me and be like how are you a nurse i just feel like people doubt your ability to pass judgment on them for being unhealthy when i'm unhealthy myself and i feel like i keep looking so yeah her biggest supporter though is super slim best friend and flatmate laura laura is very very little she's very thin and she's quite tall and beautiful and you know i know i know people would make comments of like oh look it's the fat and skinny teen oh my god that is so perfect bonnie is an amazing person she's the closest friend like more than a friend to me she's like a sister now years on the two are inseparable and they just love to party for bonnie that means always putting on a happy fat girl facade i think when i meet new people especially boys i feel like i always have to be you know really happy and bright and bubbly you know because people aren't going to look at me first but often the happy facade breaks down and the cruelty of what her size is costing bonnie can't be ignored i've had people in the street you know you'd be like oh my god watch out the way you know we'll move over the way it was coming someone will say something and i'll like run away and cry and you know be really hurt and upset it's hard there's always someone that will look at you funny or say something rude or you know so some days it's not so easy to get up and put that happy face on and you know be the brave person that you're supposed to be she's got so much scars and that shit's carried the whole way oh she's just this is such a beautiful person she has really been through so much today bonnie is in for a shock as she meets the no excuses man charged with turning her life around for the first time the instant impression of bonnie she's a big girl she's 22 years of age what has she been doing for 22 years of her life she's a big girl walking up i was i was very nervous and very apprehensive i was i was quite scared hi bonnie hi leigh how are you nice to meet you nice to meet you i'm here to make your life even happier fantastic fantastic bonnie was a big guarded when she first came in she was very nearly threatened if i met the first thing we're gonna do is get on the scales okay and see where we are today nobody knows how much i weigh i don't even think my family would know how much i'll weigh so to think of the whole of australia knowing how much i weigh is scary you know okay let's see [Music] 145.7 okay it's a confronting thing to to talk about you know my way and having it all laid out in black and white it was confronting and it is upsetting bonnie not good but somewhere to start yes okay i'll forget [Music] your waist measurement 161 centimeters prone to more to illness cancers all of the above you've been a nurse should know better she just needs to get out there and start exercising and start enjoying life and not having this you know little fat girl has to laugh the most to be accepted in the room attitude which i think she's going to change very quickly tell me how you got into this position [Music] i saw a photo of myself out with friends and i realized how big i was and you know how far from normal that i was and you're very normal i'm 22 and you know i like going out and dressing up and you know and i don't look like everyone else and i don't want to die at 30 of a heart attack i'm studying to be a nurse so i'm well aware of the health implications of being overweight so you know having diabetes and and getting heart disease sorry and you know i know it can lead to death i want to have babies and get married and you know i know that you know in the position i'm in that wouldn't happen so you know that upsets me as well what i see is a beautiful young lady who has so much to offer and so much energy and so much care and love that she's afraid to give that to anybody and so she puts his facade around her up to block it out when do you start taking ownership now now [Music] this is the first time she's really had to confront it this is the start of the end of her old life and the start of her new life what are you committed to do and promising committed to me to do whatever i have to do whatever you have to do whatever anything anything anything come on i'm scared that i'm gonna get to 30 or 40 and have a heart attack and and die over the next 40 days lee wants bonnie to lose 10 kilos get up get up get up and that will take pain what do i need to do nothing is not what you have to do is what i have to do thank god [Music] 22 year old bonnie cool's first step on the scales has been a tearful wake-up call one 45 145.7 okay it's a confronting thing to to talk about you know my way and having it all laid out in black and white it was confronting and it is upsetting when do you start taking ownership now now this is the first time she's really had to confront it this is the start of the end of her odd life from the start of her new life now bonnie's life must change drastically and that will begin at home welcome beautiful bonnie hello look what we've got for you wow fresh fruit vegetables all your new diet looks great yeah it does look great i eat too much i don't exercise enough i probably drink too much alcohol i'm a procrastinator and there's always a reason why you know i can't just go and do something do you cook much now to cook this food i do i love cooking fantastic this will be easy for you the food's going to be very easy for you yeah talking about eating and drinking socialising what about the drinking part now i think for me it would be easier to just not go out you know try and limit it but you're still at a socialise so if you do go out and you do have a drink have one for one have a glass of water first and then have a glass of alcohol bonnie needs to be headstrong in this situation because you know that one drink makes a big difference at the end of the day when she's has to be very disciplined and focused on what her job is but right now i need you to go and get changed because we're gonna go for a workout cool bonnie this is where your life's gonna change out here back down the bottom of the stairs and back up i don't feel comfortable going to the gym i get embarrassed and you know i feel like everyone's looking at me and judging me okay i want you to squat one and up she's only just discovered the park a week ago that's two blocks from your house what have you been doing how much are your legs working yeah you're feeling that now yeah this is just going to fall off you bonnie is very motivated she's just got to get out there and start doing things and pointing that energy in the right direction and getting her life going forward not using you know the cliches of that she's lived by walking down the street and people making fun of her anymore all the way around the oval how quick do you think you can get around there three minutes three minutes all right i'm gonna give you 320. okay and how you feeling a little bit puffed yeah you want to keep up with me if we need to make it on time you know bonnie spends most of her time indoors inside hiding under this mushroom or canvas of non-reality so my philosophy behind her is getting her outside getting to let her understand who she is and so she can become again this female that she portrays that she is to everybody else here we are back to the start bonnie yep what do you think five minutes five minutes 20. he's really positive and motivating and you know he makes me feel like i'm gonna do well but bonnie has already worked out that this will be a very lonely journey where excuses won't cut it my biggest challenge for losing weight will be being motivated to to get up and do stuff and and exercise and you know not make excuses for myself why i can't do it lee has set bonnie a weight loss target of 10 kilos in 40 days i think she's all over this because now she's motivated she understands how important it is to be healthy and happy and not just fat and happy bonnie says she loves to cook and she'll need to do plenty of that as she tries to curtail her social life and avoid temptation if you were to sum up to me what do you think the problems are that you're having with your with your eating i like don't eat all day and then at night i might have a huge big like binge and then i just sit because i've eaten two months okay well that's one thing we want to change you want to try and take your calories and spread them over the course of the day i think one of the things for her that's really tricky actually is learning how to have her social life be young have fun be out and about but also know how to eat healthily and and make that work for her within her lifestyle but three weeks into this weight loss journey her best friend is tired of the new bonnie she gets very upset over little things and she shouldn't but i'm very confused about the changes i'm worried about the friendship i guess you know she's the longest friend i've had and the strongest friendship i've had and i don't want to lose that but bonnie doesn't seem to notice her best friends growing unhappiness like i've got lots of people supporting me and and on my back constantly like are you doing the right thing i hope i hope you've gone for a walk today you know are you eating properly i do i have a dozen people that are that are constantly reminding me don't you do that don't what are you doing like you have to do the right thing you know too much do you think people laugh at you too much no i enjoy it i like being like kept in line [Music] so today is saturday about half past eight and um and laura's getting ready to go out and um and usually i would probably be um be going out with there but i've decided to not go out just because it takes temptation away you know i'm not gonna be tempted to drink and i just i want to try and focus on what i'm doing for dinner oh yeah can you make extra no because there's certain amounts of things that i have to have i'm allowed to have a hundred grams of meat and i'm allowed to have half a cup of brown rice and iron to have that up yeah but it won't you know what i mean it's just easy to just make mine i'll make you some afterwards i feel like i'm treading water and i'm slowly drowning living with her because she's just i'm trying to be so strong and so you know focused on what i'm doing and she's just my mental well-being my body is great i feel great you know but i just mentally feel so challenged at the moment and she's driving me mad i feel grumpy this week because i've been um i've been a bit tired and i've been sick so you know but you can't do that i'm gonna go somewhere else if you're gonna be a i'm going to make tea i'm doing what i want when i want which is not like me i actually do what laura wants when laura wants me to do it i'll be quiet i don't care what it is i like it i haven't had any take away from this whole time have i yes you have when you had pizza oh you've had heaps you've had more takeaway than you normally do i have not yeah i'm perfect my name's bonnie i think sales for everyone i'm just saying you still have been eating junk food oh don't push me stop and i feel like she's setting up to fail at every turn and i can't do it despite bonnie's domestic conflict she has to face her first weigh-in and the 10-kilo target lee set 40 days ago so bonnie it's time to be late it's been 40 days how do you think in the uh i don't know i'm scared why because i don't know how much i would look lost so do you think you've lost any i hope i've lost at least something and if you haven't i'm going to be very upset with myself when i was about to stand on the scales you know i was i was petrified i honestly thought that there was going to be little to no loss step up when you started this body you're 140 5.7 145.7 [Music] step up when i was about to stand on the scales you know i was i was petrified i honestly thought that there was going to be little to no loss and um and the thought of disappointingly i killed me i was so scared when you started this bonnie you're 140 5.7 [Music] 145.7 [Music] 135.8. 10 kilos is 10 kilos you know he couldn't possibly be disappointed at that and you know he just proves to myself that i'm capable of this and i can do it and with the effort you know i will do well at it so you know it's just 10 kilos out of out of a lot more good result for you not good enough for me yeah next time we're in these scales you got to be under 120. okay yeah yeah don't let me down don't let yourself down bonnie's done really really well losing the weight that she has she's got a super sized girl so she's going to find it harder to lose large amounts of weight like that but she just keeps having she just has to keep chipping away at it and get their bit by bit bonnie's friendship with flatmate laura is fast disintegrating but she's determined to use other friends to help her keep on track chef salad sounds really yummy bonnie chicken trust with garlic prawns smoked salmon avocado on a green salad with balsamic mustard mustard dressing you could probably get it without the dressing if the mustard's bad i reckon i might just get the chicken salad because it's like the dressing's only balsamic bonnie is determined to succeed and doesn't want anything or anyone getting in her way especially best friend laura i don't know she's just upsetting me she's like she's just doing the wrong thing like at every turn i swear she's trying to like sabotage me she is well i don't know i don't know like there's something wrong with her do you think that she's jealous that you've yeah she's got a spotlight yeah she's starting to worry about whether or not she's going to be the hot friend in the relationship that's kind of how i think like the next-door neighbor's son was like um oh watch out laura like she's going to be a super hottie she's going to cut your lunch since i started this you know i have you know become more empowered in myself and i feel so much more confident in my convictions and i think i'm realising that i don't need her to tell me what to do and i don't need her approval to be happy with what i'm doing it doesn't encourage you or not no and she's always like you know oh i've got mcdonald's do you want some like um oh come out drinking like and i'm not she knows that you can't whatever like her just messing with my head and that's what she's doing because if you're putting all your time into worrying about how much of a laura's being you're not thinking about making healthy choices and it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and i need to be able to give it 110 and not be like mentally and emotionally drained by her are you really going to move that yeah no definitely i'm gonna have enough all right have a good day the next day while laura is out shopping bonnie plans to secretly pack her bags i love you that's goodbye for me and she doesn't even know i won't and there's a huge likelihood that she's not going to want to talk to me like when she gets home and realizes i've gone and she'll know that she's been like set up oh i think i'm going to cry so today's the day that i'm leaving laura's house i'm moving out because i don't feel that we are good for each other at this point in time i'm really trying to focus on their diet and exercising and i don't feel like i can do that with her around so i just want to remove myself and and try and live in an environment that's going to help me make the most of these what happened there because you guys were the best of buddies we still are we still are we're still good did you learn anything about that experience with laura this wasn't something she could help me with and she can't she can't relate to what i'm doing she doesn't understand she's never ever in her life once had to worry about what she eats or had to exercise she doesn't have to think about it so she's like oh really it doesn't matter that much you know it was a big thing for me to be able to like pull away from her and um and do something for myself and you can take that one too and that one yesterday really guilty and i feel like i've betrayed laura's trust and i feel like she's not going to forgive me for doing this to her then also on the flip side i feel relieved i feel like a weight's been lifted i just need to go and just have a break and regroup and and get back on track love you daddy i am i think the next step in my journey is is something that it's not going to include laura which is upsetting because you know i always thought she'd be by my side every step of the way and that's just not how this has worked out when she gets home tonight and i'm not here it's just going to hurt her i got home from shopping with my mum and there was a note on the thing and i read it you know i love you more than anything and you are my best friend and such an important person in my life i've had to make a decision that hurts and upsets me more than you could know when i first read the note i was i was literally just like standing there going and then i walked into a room and i was just like the flood of tears and that i don't think you should move out of someone's home by just packing up and leaving you should talk to them about it or something everyone has their own decisions but will a new home and new flatmates really make the difference for bonnie or is this just another excuse to avoid trainer leaves relentless pressure your goal is to run in the oven in three minutes plenty three minutes it's three and a half months since bonnie set a goal of running around this park in three minutes 20 seconds the last time she tried she managed just 5 minutes 20. but has she done enough exercise to get anywhere near that goal go my philosophy behind her is getting her outside opening the view up of the world again and so she can become this female that she portrays that she is to everybody else no excuses remember what we're dealing with here is a girl that's got confidence but it's a superficial confidence she portrays this overwhelmingly happy vibrant girl in actual fact she's got a lot of pain behind there a lot of hurt all right bonnie here three minutes 50. do you think it's acceptable you made that goal for me yeah she started off like a ball of gate and she knew within herself within that first step that she'd failed maybe he won't see this maybe he won't understand have i confused him enough that he won't bother about my first goal no [Music] what is it bonnie what is it it's bonnie [Music] i'm the number one runaway and you know i don't want to run away from this because it doesn't get any better than this you know this is it and this is you know do or die kind of thing so i don't want to run away i want to you know make it work i'm not letting go i'm not giving up you've let me down you told me four weeks ago you're prepared to change you're prepared to do everything as a person bonnie will find it very difficult in life to achieve anything if she keeps walking away from things that she thinks too hard you know there everyone has hard times in their life everyone has demons they have to fight but bonnie won't accept any of them and she won't confront any of them so she will always run away and quit we move on from here once you walk into the ground there do whatever you need to do come back we've got three minutes 20. all right off you go walk over there come back the new person bonnie if i have to be tough and i have to give a tough love so be it i'm not going away what's your fear what is it you've made yourself fail you made yourself fail for here today what do i need to do nothing is not what you have to do it's what i have to do thank god it's what you have to do what haven't you done you haven't been honest to yourself this isn't a romance novel this is real this is real you want a better life you want to change your life you want to be a better person you've got to do it yeah i know but rather than confront her lifestyle head-on bonnie's found an excuse to pack up her belongings again and this time she's moving to sydney leaving what she believes are her biggest temptations behind i came to the realization that i'm very easily influenced to do the wrong thing and all of my friends i just feel like none of them are supportive of how i would like them to be and i get sidetracked and i've run off the rails a little bit and while she might think that running away is the answer there's no escaping trainer lee and her second weigh-in bonnie welcome to sydney great bon you're here come on bonnie what's the matter what's the matter what's the matter tell me what's wrong i'm scared i'm gonna put on weight since last time i was late i chose you for this because i know you can do it but i can't let you continue running away from things yeah bonnie's is herself you want to look at someone who wants to sabotage your whole life and everything they do look at bonnie look no further than bonnie reality is she cannot handle the truth so 135.7 step up lee had expected bonnie to be under 120 kilos at this weigh-in 138.5 so bonnie's put on three kilos of weight for bonnie to move forward she has to one understand where she's with the psyche and how she wants to go about it emotionally it's going to be a big emotional journey for her to get over this hump and then step forward and just achieve what we all know she can do 138.5 is unacceptable you can't go backwards when you have to be going forwards reality is you've got to stop running away and you've got to start moving forward you can do this [Music] all right you have to have a good look at it every night there's a new goal every day you're going to go home now you're going to write a new goal enough of the crap yeah success comes to those who want success and make success you know bonnie wants it she needs to make it now and she's got the opportunity there is no greater opportunity and time for her to step up to the mark and get going she'll please me when she achieves her goal and until then i won't be happy i love you but i'm not going to put up with the tears anymore all right truly yeah and that shows in what you need to do you're making me fail because you're not believing in me okay focus we're running this speed for a minute do not stop you've quit your whole life you're not going to quit now i'm going to keep going don't touch it don't touch it bonnie you hang in there [Music] bonnie needs to step out of the dark and into the light and just be bonnie [Music] bonnie you did it of course i did it and of course you did it then why are you letting me down why did you go down that road hey i'm silly yeah and over the next few weeks bonnie will make huge changes in her life armed with a new self-belief she takes on a live-in nannying job i'm loving being here you know um i think i'm doing so much better i'm so much happier and settled and a bit more mellowed out and not so highly strung so it's it's nicer for me decides to give slimming shakes a go they're okay the chocolate ones are good strawberry ones are better the vanilla ones are poo don't even bother and most important of all for the first time in her life she feels able to run around so takes on something she has always feared a team sport she always felt cast out alienated she's always been stuck in this cliche of the fat funny girl now she's out there she's involved she's part of the team she's enjoying it and this will change her life this will make her understand the woman she is and she's loving it [Laughter] excellent it's good i'm doing things now that i that i dreamed of doing and never thought i would do especially not at this point like like playing team sport it was something i wanted to do and it was on my goals dreams list and when the opportunity come up i ran away because i was like i'm not ready to do this i'm not fit enough i'm not you know i can't do this some like i'm gonna let all these people down because i'm i can't do it i can't i can i can't and then i can i can i can and it's great and i love it and i've made friends and it's social okay bonnie let's go that's it now this is where the real transformation starts to happen for bonnie because she's feeling wanted she's feeling love she's feeling needed she's you know she's embracing it all she will actually run towards this and make this happen bonnie might have won over the women's rugby team but she needs her efforts to be reflected in weight loss and in being able to overcome new challenges bond yeah why are you doing this why are you doing it come on 22 year old bonnie cools has never been a runner she'd never even exercised until she began this extreme weight loss journey what do i need to do nothing it's not what you have to do it's what i have to do thank god to lose 22 kilos it's taken her 20 weeks don't touch it don't touch it but the girl who loves to drink and party has found the changes in her life come on bonnie almost too much to bear and trainer lee campbell is not making it any easier nearly a thousand stairs to the top okay we're not going to stop the whole way you find it in your heart how to get to the top that was like holy how am i going to do that my favorite stairs will you know i love stairs no i hate stairs they just kill me bonnie's challenge is a trek through the bush and a stair climb which is nearly a thousand stairs to the top should be fairly easy for bonnie because she's been training very hard it should be a piece of cake slow it down i psych myself out and then i panic because i can't breathe properly like i work myself up until i can't breathe i panic and it's really frustrating because it's a limitation of what i'm doing you've come all this way bonnie don't be disappointed with yourself bonnie is she's at the crossroads now she can really achieve a lot or she can let herself down in a big way and the fact of not being grown up and taking responsibility for who bonnie is come on bonnie bob why are you doing this why are you doing that come on why this is what keeps stopping you achieving everything when are you going to take responsibility for yourself you know i'm trying really hard to take ownership and and make it me you know like i just said it's i can't blame anyone because the only person that can can do this is me no no one can make choices for me like i'm nearly 23 you know it's does it's not mum or laura or the people who i live with or anybody it's me what is it i'm scared i'm not gonna be able to do it come on we're nearly there why don't you just give it to me for the top prove me wrong up to the finish archway's there come on bob oh get up get up get up you're there the finish is there bon water [Music] have a drink bonnie will find it very difficult in life to achieve anything if she keeps walking away from things that she thinks too hard she can achieve anything and she's proven that over and over again she just needs to accept it now and move on so fantastic work great effort well done thank you i'm really proud a thousand stairs you know i don't think i could have done a hundred stairs four months ago but bonnie knows that her chances of real weight loss success always fall apart without her trainer by her side to tell her she's doing all right so lea has decided to send her to a specialist weight loss center for a month and this time she can't run away okay go for it 45 seconds i don't want to fail like i say where everything because i let myself because i make that an option oh an okay option like i don't want to fail at this at the end of the day this all goes away and it's me that's left with the disappointment i don't want to disappoint myself anymore because it's not a nice feeling and it's not something that's great to live with you know it makes it harder and it makes it even less motivating to do something about it she came in with a real feeling that she wanted to give it a go and i think she had a kind of feeling that it was a bit of a last chance for her and she wanted to grab it with both hands she's just had the fortitude to work through them this time and just come in with a fabulous attitude so she's really just got that positive mindset to make things happen for her 22 kilos down before she started this intensive treatment a much more positive bonnie now has to face the scales that she hates so much so bonnie we've been here just under four weeks now you started at 123.2 and how much were you at your heaviest um when i started the show i was 145.7 well 45.7 said you want to see what you are now yeah you ready we're about to find out if bonnie has finally overcome her fear of the scales it's nine months since bonnie cool set out to turn her life around i don't want to be like this like 100 i can't live like this because i don't like myself anymore she started this challenge at more than 145 kilos you're gonna want to die at 30 of a heart attack and all she wanted to do was to be able to run around this why is there an obstacle there the whole time i've not put it there i've only given you the tools to get over the obstacle and find a man to love i want to have babies and get married and you know i know that you know in the position i'm in that wouldn't happen 40 days in bonnie had lost 10 kilos and was right on track it's 10 kilos you know he couldn't possibly be disappointed at that but then she went off the rails 138.5 besides the addiction to food there was always excuses what is it i'm scared i'm not going to be able to do it so trainer lee campbell sent her to a weight loss center for a month now we find out if that worked when i started the show i was 145.7 well 45.7 said you want to see what you are now [Music] 13.9 hey high five for me well done so that's a difference of 31 point kilos that is amazing i've lost 30 kilos now since we started and it's so much easier to do things now like it's so much easier to say i am going to keep doing it because every kilo you lose is just that like little bit easier you run that little bit further you do one more push up [Music] 32 and older kilos it's like the goals that were set like getting under 100 kilos like that's only 15 kilos away that's actually really achievable now just astonishing isn't it the time we spent with bonnie was a roller coaster of emotion you've made yourself fail you made yourself fail for him and while it was a difficult road up to the finish archway's there bonnie's life has dramatically changed for the better wow was i really that far you know i was so oblivious to to myself and my health and i thought it was okay to be like that and and i was convinced that i was happy and i was painfully unhappy i'm not the same person as the person in this photo this is someone who had no respect for their body and their life and had no thought for their future you know and it's someone i don't ever want to be again and now she's shedding her past life for good hair and welcoming in the new and improved bonnie my lover it's awesome new year wow i actually do feel like a different person now i look like i do i'm getting happier with myself again like i was really unhappy with my body and the way i felt about myself i'm so proud of myself and you know no one can take that away from me there will still be people that will judge me because i'm not skinny but i'm happy and i think i'm beautiful and i've achieved so much and i did it all by myself and goodbye to this person why don't you hang in there i've learned i actually can do it i had a huge view of failure which stopped me even trying yes buddy i have huge faith in myself now that i can do stuff and i'm very capable and you know if you put your mind to stuff it's actually not that hard [Music] you

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Id: ffjm_Fgpz6g

Length: 45min 50sec (2750 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 24 2021