Cameron Diaz's Cleavage Settled Jimmy Carr's Nerves | Friday Night With Jonathan Ross

he is one of the biggest faces in stand-up comedy and tonight he's going to show us why he's not just gonna chat to me he's gonna come out and do some material as well for you will you please welcome mr. Jimmy Carr ladies gentlemen [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] well thanks very much I'm actually quite a gay friendly act I was asked last November to judge mr. gay UK I said no problem at all he's against nature and against God he's going to help my girlfriend said have you been having sex behind my back I said who the bloody hell do you think it was and another thing it wouldn't kill you to look around once in a while check all I'm doing I've got a friend whose nickname is shagger you might think that's quite cool she doesn't like it I was walking through a very rough area of London near where I live and walking down the Main Street in this little fifteen year old virgin came running out of a side alley he was out of breath puffing and panting clearly in some distress he said help help me Amma mayor being mugged said of course I'll help my mate and I are being marked there are 1 million of Beast children in Britain today there's a frightening fact isn't it 1 million obese children you realize if they all jumped up and down at the same time they might lose a little bit of weight I saw a homeless guy on the bus today he got off I thought how does he know it's he stop my girlfriend used to get annoyed with me because they used to leave the toilet seat up so I don't do that anymore always make a point of putting it down it's just a little thing but you know it shows that you care you know this a woman that I love and I want to spend the rest of my life with there's no winning with her now she's annoyed because it's covered in piss I'm painting myself in a bad light there ladies gentlemen obviously you know I'm not really like that I'm actually a very modern man I've got no problem buying tampons but apparently they're not a proper present so I'm being misogynistic for comic effect obviously ladies gentlemen I don't mean it goes the other way too doesn't it men men are no good at stopping and asking for directions would you agree with that ladies I put my hand up for that we are no good at stopping and asking for directions of course on the other hand maybe you wouldn't have to if you could read a map right well that's about all the stand-up I've got time for better go talk to Jonathan thanks very much [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you up shake just about everyone watching I think it's offensive if you offend everyone then it's okay okay that's not blanket Bobby I spent your great stand-up comedian you on tour I believe you're doing a thing called off the telly it's a new tour yeah doing a tour around the UK Jimmy Carr stand up you can get a copy that now what can we expect for our money in this because you buy a DVD you don't just want to stand up are there extras on here yeah the extras thing has got big the last few years just extras what are you spending 20 quid on a DVD and you think well I don't just want the show I want something else so I made another TV show just for the DVD show what's called comedy Idol and it's a bit like Pop Idol but with comics okay so you you have people come with an audition yeah but I wanted to try stand-up came along auditioned and obviously some of them were brilliant yeah and some of them were brilliant for different reasons just kind of like in the way we enjoy people who are on the expect example who aren't necessarily the most polished performers it's like that brilliant the first couple of episodes of The X Factor where you see people that are funny because they because they shouldn't be out on their own yeah so how does comedy Idol work because a pop idol and the expert most kind of shows there's a prize at the end did you just have people down just to see whether they're any good or did you get well the guy that eventually wanted the prize was kind of coming and performing at the theater where I recorded the DVD so he came down and performed in front of you know a thousand people was he any good he was brilliant yeah and genuinely brilliant there was loads of great people in it let's talk about are you've been out the state's a few times I know this not only have you been out to appear on other people shows out there but you've you've made shows for the American market I've made a couple of series everything I used to do here called distraction for Comedy Central which is you know it's pretty good fun and so what's the audience like is it a different sort of audience you get in America to hear I mean the audience numb one in the studio and also other people watching at home the audience in the studio when you record a show in the States are about I would say maybe a day or two away from homeless have someone to sit down which not going to get where they're all paid to be there they paid they pay the audience to be oh the audience pay the host to be there good idea would that it was they pay the audience to be hit them and they're there for we record like four shows in a day they're there for 12 hours well that's why they pay them yes let me join this okay and does that mean that you can boss them around and tell them what to do because you're paying them I don't think so no you still gotta try and entertain them but it's just you think they're there for a long should if you're paying you say laughs and they laugh and put it in which is what nah it works now here's the thing yeah we have a great lineup on the show this evening your great comedian Shane which is a great guest we have two fabulous guests to come Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette I believe you have met Cameron before is this right yeah no I have I have met four I mean you know I don't know about making it in the States we can check with them whether they've heard of me I'm sure they haven't I'm sure they would say yes even if they had because Cameron you love all his work don't you what do you like you're gonna hurt yourself that he did when we did The Tonight Show together Wow so you do actually remember him you really don't get out as much as you should then dear like a pretty pony that's what I was going for thank you I've looked for years for pretty pony so get that saddle ready and I think we'll need the Spurs oh I'm gonna wipe Cameron dear and it's my birthday next week my wife did listen so what happened shows you know in the states where you go on and you do stand up there huh and it's petrifying the first time I was over there doing that Jay Leno that's kind of the birthplace to stand up as well of course it really is you know it's always it's a big deal and the mayor backstage and I'm pacing up and down and you're on with these kind of a list people it's a bit it's just daunting proper starts yeah proper starts properly not chances like mate if so our backstage I'm wandering up and down just feeling kind of nervous and and Cameron Diaz who's over there god bless her he's wearing this amazing gold alarm a thing well no Gras what and there was some discussion there was discussion in the corridor as to whether you would be able to see the boobage when she leant forward when she was having the discussion with her I don't know I guess the nerves I saw the boobs the nerves were gone it's an incredible thing so hold it seeing Cameron's lavage somehow I'm being polite I'm trying to be right the new play okay thunder sound classy new play it's not easy performing stand-up with an erection but it was good well you don't have to say it so boldly hey not a show you and there sure anyway 8 out of 10 cats has been doing great for you on channel 4 yes been mine it's a very funny show I enjoy doing it I'm hoping to come on the next series yeah an invitation anytime you're free and just invite me alone oh is it on Friday nights it is on Friday know what songs don't father knows it's it's on about 9:30 so you could do it and then run over here in the magical TV world where we record on the evening you trying to claim this isn't the Friday come wait for Saturday morning certainly come on yeah no line for me radio show listen you're looking good you're looking much better than I remember you looking he's looking smart and handsome and there now nothing well you know what because I think I'm being mean they were thinking you're looking you do look great it's a great suit you are very handsome with a very smartly and I've seen you advertising in the newspapers you become a male model who would have all that yeah a corrective Footwear know they always Molly Freeman a bubble not obviously you know not the three greatest looking men in the country but is that there's a homely charm and your advertising clothing for Marcus banks through this right and that is correct yeah we did we do you know they phoned up and said you want to work with those two and David Bailey and I win yeah what else have I got on that afternoon brilliant but I didn't know M&M a lovely suit SN M&S suit you in there this isn't eminence but I did use the money to buy it I tell you what your socks in the pants and with everything on now hard as it might be to believe Jimmy is also breaking into the movie world all right again nothing the movies Stormbreaker which is based on the the very popular books which are just the kids with the spy books that were primarily aimed at kids I believe by Anthony Horowitz I think yes and so what are you playing it you don't play the lead sorry well no no no couldn't prior leading well yeah no I mean I mean I only film for two days it's kind of you know it's one of those things again it gets reported who do you play what part I play an mi6 spy I need I did it again just because there was really great people in the film so I thought and also it must be great to get offered a part in a movie I mean a lot of people don't do sort of films that go on I could never do that but I don't know how you resist it some of those don't you want to be in our film and it's not you can't busy now after it's got you and McGregor in at name McGill know Bill Nighy Lister proper you know a little grown-up film yeah we dragging it down no no no don't start saying that now there that's decided now I think it comes out July next year and so this is what you want to do you want to actually go into movies I don't think I consider myself an actor I've got no range at all but if you want someone that's a bit middle-class and looks like me so probably not a lot of work coming your way UK's your character well I would imagine I could do say you know the before and after there's some sort of weight loss program no you're looking good these days you've lost loads away mainly off your face and the other thing that's good used to be big very much uses a lot of space operator suit well I do often look a little bit like a child trapped in a lift if you saw a child factor a lift would you punch the face to put him back in to live an easy question that's the right answer you've won yourself a cameo in my next movie yes I've done a boob did a bit though you didn't you were in the Shrek what it was was they went for voiceover because on camera I had a bit part boy when I was on screen apparently people wanted to see more of me and less of the other actors there wasn't considered fair wow what a lovely fantasy dream world you living a wonderful place to visit it's nice in Fairyland I'm gonna say goodbye to Najimy it's not that I wouldn't have spent more time with Elwood but let's face it I've got two ladies out there who look hot to trot and they know where the action is put it away before they come out ladies gentlemen I think it agree he's a very funny man he's on toy and get the DVD or why wouldn't you want to go and see him and buy that as well it's mr. Jimmy Carr [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Friday Night With Jonathan Ross

Views: 2,253,659

Rating: 4.8122869 out of 5

Keywords: the jonathan ross show, british tv, jonathan ross interviews, jonathan ross funny moments, Itv, bbc, friday night with jonathan ross, jimmy carr stand up, jimmy carr funniest moments, jimmy carr comedy, jimmy car comedy special, 8 out of 10 cats, stand up comedy, jimmy carr making people laugh, comedy, comedy special, netflix, comedian, jimmy carr comedian, jimmy carr cameron diaz, jimmy carr on cameron diaz

Id: f7tc0MrCrWw

Length: 13min 1sec (781 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 28 2019