(roster crowing) (lion roaring) (wheel clacking) - Welcome to Good Mythical More. If it's birthday cake flavored, we got it, and we got you. - But first don't freak out, but they're running out
of space in graveyards. - So, I can tell you're on
your last leg, you know, cremation is an option. - There are other options. In fact, I've heard it's cool to be buried right on top of someone else. - You have? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then anything that
they've done to contribute to their after life, you get
like caught up in the beam that's going up. - Right, the beam. - You can ride their beam. You want to ride a dead man's beam? - Get buried with him. There you go, problem solved. Huh? Man, I have got- - Dead man's beam. - I may not have eaten liver, but I have this fondue, fondant. What is that stuff? The hard stuff that they put on cakes. - I think it's fondant. - I've been in the, - Is it fondue or fondant? - I've been in the freaking bathroom, - That is the question. - trying to get it out of my molars. - Quit complaining, man. You almost got a Queen Sweep. - Almost did, yeah. Are you upset? - A little bit, yeah. I'm a little nervous
about what's behind me. - It's, - It's John Wayne Chasey, but you know what he's wearing? He's wearing the Cloak of Mythicality and he's wearing it because, - Come on out here and model it, man. - it's the last month. This is the last month to join the 3rd degree quarterly or annual plan of the mythical society to be eligible or eligible to receive the cloak. Come on, by September 30th. - I think it's that I need new sealants. I think my sealants are gone. - When did you get 'em? - Fourth grade. - I got my sealants as a child. And the last time I went
into the dentist office, they said your sealants are still intact. This is very rare. It's very rare for the
sealants last to adulthood. And I was like, well, I'm a gentle chewer. - I'm not. - Well, they probably doubled up on yours. - My Nana did mine on the weekend. - She was the one who
told you to chew 30 times. She probably did
quadruple seals on molars. - Nana's doing pretty
good, thanks for asking. She had a fall. She broke her, - Broke her hip. - Her hip, yeah. And, they got that fixed right up. - You look great, by the way. - We've got all types of
birthday cake flavored stuff. - I didn't want you to come closer to me. - His hand has got paint all over it. - Like white. - Yeah, he applies his own paint. - Body paint. - That's one of the cool things about him. He's a self made, man. He just put his finger into my palm. - Let's try the, - I don't like that. - Let's try these a
birthday cake Fruit Loops. - I'm not into cake flavored things. And I'm a cake man. I mean, I like pie and cake,
but cake flavored, like. I've never chosen cake
flavor except within a cake. - I like to get a sample
of cake batter ice cream, and then decide to get something else for my actual ice cream. - Oh, it's a good sample,
it's definitely a good sample. - It's a great sample. - What about pie flavor, would that sell? Fruit loops, pie flavored. I mean, pie's gotta be something. I mean, birthday cake is a
thing that people understand. - So this is strawberry
birthday cake flavored, with other natural flavors. - Oh, it smells like a cake. It smells like a strawberry cake. - Oh my Gosh. - [Stevie] Have your cake
preferences changed over time? Like I know that Link only wants pie. - Yeah, I don't like cake. - [Stevie] But have you ever liked cake? - I've never really liked cake, no. - [Stevie] So like for
your birthday growing up, you would request a pie. - Yeah, but I'd still get cake. - Because no one was doing
birthday pie back the day. Even I had pie for my birthday. For my 40th birthday, I had pie. - [Stevie] Yeah, but you
kind of like everything. - That's true. You remember that pie
from my birthday party? - Want me to pour it? It's kinda my thing. - Stevie? - [Stevie] Yeah. - Did you get the earl gray tea? - [Stevie] Did I? - I think so. - It was from The Pie Hole. - [Stevie] Yeah. - Save this for later. - [Stevie] And then Cassie
made Links pie this year. - Ooo, that was a good pie. Cassie made it. - Was that a peanut butter pie? - [Stevie] Peanut butter, yeah. Peanut butter, chocolate pie. - Oh, it had Oreos in, it had Rolos on it. Had 10,000 grand crushed up. - [Stevie] Butterfinger I think. Was it Butterfinger or was it Reece's? - That is a strong scent. It's very strawberry-y. Is this new or is this old? Is this like a, - Listen, I'm about to bust your bubble. - Search for a date. - If you're into this. It's good until August 30th, 2020. - Okay. - Now here's the deal. If you like this cereal, you're
not going places in life. If you have gotten accustomed, - It's not bad. - If you've gotten accustomed to thinking that you could
just birthday cake-ify things, boy, when you get into the real world, it'll be a rude awakening. - [Stevie] Guys, I have
a rude awakening for you. It's past August 30th. - Yeah, it is. - [Stevie] So. - Thought you were in September. - [Stevie] But I know
you're used to eating, like, actually really old things,
so this probably is fine. - Yeah, it's fine. I mean that close to the
expiration date, it doesn't matter. Listen, - Are you telling me you
live in the real world because I don't know that you do. - Here's what you, you asked for birthday cake
to be put into something and it happens. And then you get to your first job and you go sit at your desk. And then you go to your boss and you say, "Can I birthday cake-ify my desk?" And your boss is like,
"What do you think this is? The fruit loops factory?" And then he fires you, or she fires you. It might be a woman boss. - The more you chew, the more you can taste,
not just the strawberry, but you can, you can
taste the ice cream cake. Yeah, Rhett. In the real world, women are also bosses. - It's just a scenario. - Jackass. - It's just a scenario, okay? - Just because your mom
wasn't a boss doesn't mean, - Mom was the boss of my house. And she also was a substitute
teacher, you remember that? She would lay down the law, man. There's no preferences to
anybody, especially you. What else we got? - Women can be substitute teachers. - Mm hmm. - I like this. - Oh, look. - I like it more just out
of spite and the faux sexism that we're using for
some form of humor here. - (stammering) Ah, eh, ey, I, wha- I didn't say anything sexist, I said it might be a woman boss. - Birthday cake bites. It's drizzled and it's delicious. Drizzilicious birthday cake bites are mini rice cakes re-imagined. Drizzled with indulgent white chocolatey flavored deliciousness. So not actual chocolate. Just talk chocolatey
flavored deliciousness. Drizzilicious is a crunchy,
better for you snack, made with whole grains,
quinoa, chia and flax. - Listen, listen. You're gonna make all these choices. You're gonna make choices,
first of all, to eat rice cakes. I don't even, I shouldn't
even have to go on. But then rice cakes are made
from chia, quinoa, and flax. And then you're like,
"Make it birthday cake!" It's like, wait, you're, - It's incongruent. - Yeah, yeah. - This is very incongruent. You're gonna get fired on your first day. - I mean, look at that. It's a rice cake. And then when you flip it over, it's literally drizzled
with white chocolate. So when people see you eat it, they think you're eating
something healthy. But you can tell up close that there's chocolate
drizzle all over it. Hmm. - If you, - It doesn't work like this. - If you make a choice, like, you know what I'm gonna do now? I'm gonna start working out. But you know what I'm going
to do while I work out? - This. - I'm gonna eat ice cream. No! - Here's the thing, some of 'em, - This is for no one,
this shouldn't exist. This is a sign that we're in the end time. - This is stupid. You're right. I'm agreeing with him now. - I mean, they're not bad. I don't agree with him on everything. - [Stevie] There goes our
Drizzilicious sponsorship. - It's not the first time
I've heard you say that. - Some of 'em don't have
any Drizzilicious on them. They're just rice cakes. There's a disappointing what it should be. - Disappointing What It Should Be, should be the name of the product. - Okay, so that sucks. Project 7 Birthday Cake Gourmet Gum. - Okay. All right. This is acceptable. - We're doing gum now? - You're already chewing gum. - [Stevie] This is a project. - Yeah. It is a project. Isn't that interesting? I thought the first one was a project. It was just a product. - Live, give, smile. - It smells, when you
open that up it smelled like it would smell in grade school when somebody had vomited in the hall. - So, eat one of those. - You remember that smell? - Oh yeah, loved it. Made me feel young and vibrant. - Oh, it smells like it too. - It smells like vomit. You know, it really does. - It does. It smells like, - It has a vomit-y smell. - Man, in grade school, if you could make it to the
hall and vomit, it was okay. If you vomited on the way to the hall, they never forgot it. If you could make it to the hall, it was almost like it was
just vomiting into the ether. You could get away with that. No one would remember that. You vomit on yourself in class. My wife, Jessie's her name. In kindergarten, she vomited on her desk and it was a desk that she
was sharing with four people. - That's a big desk. (imitates retching) Wow, then she just sat there? Dang. - You got to get to the hall. - Speaking of vomit, taste what
you just put in your mouth. Tastes bad. - [Stevie] There goes our
Project 7 sponsorship. - Together, you and Project
7 have ensured the gift of 35,000 students go through
anti-bullying programs. Now, we're in a tough spot now. Because they're promoting anti-bullying. They're against bullying. - And we're we're for that. - No, we're not. - No. - We're not for bullying! - We're for anti-bullying. - Right, so we're against bullying. - Yeah. - It's like a double negative. - I'm against bullies. - We don't hate anti-bullying projects, but we do hate the taste of this product. - Just because they're
doing the right thing doesn't mean they're
making the right thing. - You're making the wrong thing. - Find another way to fight bullies. With something that tastes good. - I mean, first of all, it
should be shaped like a bully. - And don't fight bullies. Because that's what the bullies want. You gotta, it's gotta be, - I don't know, they say if you really, - If you punch 'em one good time? In the movies, if you punch a
bully, you solve the problem. In real life, you punch a bully, and the bully beats the (beep) out of you. It's like, you know what I'm saying? Don't do that. - Take the higher ground. - Well, I'm not gonna start
giving advice about that. I'm just saying, I don't think. - You're just gonna be angry. - I just don't think. - And ambivalent. - I just don't think fighting
'em is the right call. Unless you're in a pinch. - Ew. I've never met a bully. I mean, a real, like, - You never met a bully? - I've been picked on a little bit, but not to the point of bullying. - I had a guy. - I mean, I know you punch John Carson in the stomach one time. - Because he was picking on you. - Yeah. - And you know what? It ended it. - I don't remember any of that. - Now, remember, - You just told the story a lot. That I kinda remember. - I'm not gonna say his name, but he did go on to go to
prison after high school. - That guy that I just said his name? - No, the guy who bullied me. - Okay. - He went to prison for murder. - [Voice] What? - Yeah, I was bullied by a guy. - Wait, hold on. Do I know him? - Yeah, but I'm not gonna say his name. I'll say his name later. - Was this on the basketball team? - He was not on the basketball team, but he was friends with a bunch of guys on the basketball team. And what would happen is you can wait on, Pure Protein can wait. I know you really want to
get to it, but it can wait. - It can happen at the
same time, I'm listening. - He would get me in the locker room. And I was like, you know, I
was on the basketball team. This is when I was a sophomore, but I was on the varsity basketball team. And, you know, I wasn't usually picked on. I was tall, I was super
skinny, but I was tall. But this dude was massive. And he would just get
me in the locker room and just like punch me in the shoulder and like put me in a headlock. - He wasn't even on the team? - No, he was like, it was like after, I think we had PE together. It was a bunch of the basketball players. But it was like, and he was huge. He weighed probably 320. - Wow. - And he could bench 400
and he would just like. - Break you like a twig. - He would just like rough me up. And I would be like (laughing), until he stopped. I would kind of laugh it off. - But later you, - And I'm glad I didn't fight him back. Cause he murdered someone
after he graduated. - Wow. - I'm not making that up. I wouldn't be here if I had fought back. - I don't know how to respond to this. - But that was pretty much
the only bully situation. This is awful. - It's awful because it's
just, it's already awful. - I mean you can't, - It's not more awful
because it's birthday cake. I think people think if you
put sprinkles on something that it's gonna be enticing. Ew, gosh. That's horrible. - I haven't enjoyed any of this. - Let's eat like a hero. No, this has been a terrible experience. I mean, we're talking
about bullying, sexism. Gosh. Okay. I'm gonna eat these two together. - Make you feel better? - Gourmet birthday cake popcorn. - Okay. This is by far the best thing we've had. Far and away. - That's not saying it's good. It's not good. - No. - It's bad. - It's not bad. It has a, I mean, you're eating popcorn already, you can put sweet stuff on popcorn. - Yeah, that's acceptable. Not worth going out of
your way for, though. Now ChapStick has cake batter. I mean, we're pushing the limits of lip balm at mythical.com. I think we've gone farther than this. Smells kind of like, - You got bullied, like,
on the soccer team. Like, didn't you get like, initiated? - I got hazed, yeah. - Hazed? - Yeah, I mean. - Like, they would do just
crazy stuff to the freshmen. - Yeah, I got a, - That probably doesn't happen anymore. - I mean, I got a wedgie that
ripped my underwear right out. - Yeah. - And I kept them for a long time. I think I lost 'em when I moved. I kept 'em for a while. I thought about bronzing 'em. Took it as a rite of passage. - They don't allow that anymore, right? You can't do that hazing stuff anymore? - Yeah, I don't think
they should allow that. - Well, I mean, there's
certain types of hazing they definitely shouldn't allow. But like a big, an atomic
wedgie that goes over your head? I think everyone needs to
experience that once in life. I mean, we've done it on this show twice. - I don't know, it can really do something to your testicles, permanently. We've done that twice on the show. - I can't even open it. I mean, I can't even open it. It's sealed. - It's not, this is just cake batter. - I'm incapable of opening,
thank you, thank you. - So this is more palatable. - I like that cloak. - It doesn't, - You're having trouble too, huh? - All you gotta do is, that. - Yeah, my hands are too sweaty right now. - Here you go. - You can have that one. Yeah, you can have it. - He's got a bandaid on his fingertips. - You can go, you can
go do that elsewhere. - After all your jive talk,
man, I think you deserve it. - This is not bad. I don't really put chapstick
on my lips very much. - [Stevie] Yeah, is it weird when you try to find your top lip? Is it like? - Oh, there it is. - Oh, yeah. - There it is. Under there. It's right there. - [Stevie] Oh, please, do not. It's so disturbing. - That's great. I feel like I need to take a shower. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Stevie] I feel like we could do a ChapStick sponsorship. - Yeah, we can still do that, but that would be a direct competitor. - [Stevie] It would, and let me tell you, there's something coming down, - Lift your lip curtain
for some ChapStick. - [Stevie] the lip balm way that is gonna just blow everybody's minds. - That's right. - [Stevie] Yeah. Yep. So just you wait. - Yeah, lots of things happening. - Don't stock up on a
chapstick, I'll tell you that. - [Rhett] Cloak yourself in mythicality, with our newest society exclusive item, a secret society cloak. Sign up for the 3rd degree quarterly or annual plan by September 30th at mythicalsociety.com to be eligible.
