Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Jake Cracks the Perfect Crime Committed by Homicidal Dentist

he's not answering any questions that's okay I have no questions that's right I'm about to monologue son better make it quick you only got eight minutes all right then let me paint you a picture I'm Phillip a successful periodontist that's become addicted to diazepam a sedative I take because I'm junkie scum also for real addiction is a disease I would be super empathetic if you hadn't murdered a man what is the point of this I'll get there so one day I'm working late when my boss Robert surprises me he found out I was stealing meds again junkie's gum also again not your fault there's a major genetic component to addiction he says he's going to file a police report I could lose my license we fight and something in me just snaps so I grab the first thing I can find and I hit him with it you still have no murder weapon I do now here's a pic I found on Yelp of the surgical Suite six months ago and here is a shot that our crime scene photographer took up the same room two weeks after the murder notice any differences we're not answering that that's all right I can just tell you myself the Yelp shot has six of these heavy Looking Glass awards from the Brooklyn periodontics Society in the background whereas this shot only has five what happened to number six you murdered Robert with him you lost all control and you bludgeoned him to death there must have been blood everywhere but you got lucky you were in the surgical Suite it can be sterilized you never would have gotten away with it in your carpeted office that's not what happened don't say anything more and your office manager would have heard all of the screaming but she was at her grandson's play lucky again you're wrong you put Robert's body into a wheelchair and shoved it in the elevator it's a miracle there wasn't blood everywhere that's not true now you're in the garage with a corpse you panicked and left your phone in your office and you don't have your car keys but Roberts are in his pocket so you put him in his car and you take off you can't believe what you've done no you're flustered you have no GPS so you just start driving no next thing you know you're in the Pine Barrens and it hits you your uncle's cabin he has a place there you're the luckiest son yes it was you got lucky at every turn no I knew exactly where I was driving I left my phone in the office on purpose I was in a surgical Suite by Design and I didn't use some glass award that any idiot would clearly see was missing I made a rod out of a special dental polymer killed him with it then melted it back down it's already in a patient's mouth son oh damn oh damn oh damn and that is 3-0 damn sound oh damn fresh air well I don't say that a lot there's one thing I still don't understand did you know you had the wrong murder weapon oh excellent question sir yes I spotted the missing Dental award when I first took the case I asked around weeks ago turns out a cleaning lady knocked it over and shattered it then why did you run in there like that because in talking to you I realized what Philip's worst fear actually was that we would think he was just some dummy that got lucky right he had planned the perfect crime and it killed him when you said he was sloppy and impulsive he needed us to know how smart he was hi like someone else I know yep Kevin [Music] foreign

Channel: Peacock

Views: 471,983

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Id: VKWM3VSHld0

Length: 3min 9sec (189 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 30 2023