Brittany Broski Roasts Ethan

all right cheers wait so you're not a you don't like sweet coffee i do is my point okay but i don't i try not to drink it right i um there was a trend going around on tick tock where people were just loving caramel macchiatos from starbucks like an iced caramel macchiato and i've always been like the same i go into starbucks and i'm like i'm gonna be healthy an iced latte please but it's like when you get it stripped back you think it's less fat but it was people making them at home you're like buying the caramel sugar and buying the starbucks sells the actual [ __ ] they use and you put it in the iced coffee and i got into a kick for like a week i ordered one every day and it was so much like i mean straight to the toilet it was like for real pvc pipe from my google it was like it went straight it was like i was pouring it down into my hole and um it was delicious yeah i mean those starbucks drinks have like five or six hundred calories bro insane it's gnarly worth it delicious i mean they are great man i like the uh i like those fraps you do when i want to [ __ ] around at starbucks i'll get a frappuccino milkshake yeah all right i mean coffee milkshake that's the only difference between what i order and you is that you i'm sophisticated yeah you go you go oh i'll take the 1 000 calorie drink but it's got a fancy italian name so it's all good i order it like this and you could be like can i have a coffee milkshake i get a [ __ ] coffee milkshake with with [ __ ] sweet cream on the top you're doing the same thing you're just like i'll take a crappy frappuccino crap a frappuccino with caramel and you go that's cool it's the same [ __ ] bro can i get a [ __ ] you just [ __ ] in my mouth it'll be faster can you just whoever's got covet back there can you just [ __ ] in a cup and serve it to me that's basically healthier than whatever they're giving you to drink like i know pizza is not healthy but damn whatever they do back there no i'm crying dude our life expectancy in america goes down every year oh i'm telling you every time they see me park in the chick-fil-a drive-through and shave three years off of my life oh bro that shit's so good though chick-fil-a is so delicious what's your favorite thing to eat right now right now well i would say mushrooms but i tried to make dust mushrooms no i tried to make them for myself just yesterday i just had to freak out did you hear that no i got dubbed oh oh yeah what are we doing mushrooms mushrooms yeah i tried to make mushrooms in the oven yesterday and i did them the oven why would you do that because i don't know what i'm doing oh you didn't i'm just a little girl i need help this little girl needs help i'm not funny and i need help i'm not smart i'm not funny and i just need help that's the name of my autobiography do you want to well the secret to cooking a mushroom is that there's a lot of moisture in them so i robbed it of the moisture no you want to cook all the moisture out no uh yes well i did and it was i gagged i said i don't know mushroom and i put it in my mouth and i said yeah if you don't i feel like mushrooms can go really bad it was bad the way i like to cook it is you gotta when you throw them in a pan and cook them down they shrink like 90 yeah you cook you you cook them down throw in a little butter olive oil then you can't go wrong but that sounds delicious yeah i don't know what [ __ ] i did i made [ __ ] on a pan nice and i said sarah do you want any she was like i'm good i was like damn so tell me about the recipe i just did a portobello mushroom head hollered it out cleaned it put cheese and jalapenos in it that sounds great it wasn't no it wasn't um where do you what are you eating right now so late so right now because i'm a fat [ __ ] monster this is literally a shame to my body and hate myself um you know every night as i think about how much i hate myself because i'm so [ __ ] fat and i have no self-control so right now i'm i'm doing a vegetarian diet and i'm working on cooking all my own meals okay so for example last night i made a quiche and french fries sounds good homemade french fries and quiche so i took an air fryer no i don't do i don't [ __ ] around there it's so small i got a family to feed damn true family of you oh they yeah exactly and so i took i chopped up a bunch of spinach you know cooked it down got the moisture out put it with the egg [ __ ] a load of cheese bro but it's you know that might be where you're running into some trouble you think so yeah you're like i had three pieces of spinach and a whole block of cheese and i'm not losing weight yeah and a frappuccino washed it down what happened super they're like you know what what's what start do you when you order starbucks do you tell them the size that they want or do you just say i want a large no i use the lingo see i can't because i'm a civilized adult and that's how you and i are different i can't do it i can't i can't say grande no i can't learn the sizes i don't know what they want yeah you can yeah you can't you're just what's this small uh tall that doesn't make any [ __ ] sense it's a tall a tall is a large size tall what's a medium grande means huge no vinty means huge grande means big grande means it literally means big doesn't it just a medium please and then and then large is what venti which means what large and what does grande mean large okay so what the [ __ ] am i supposed to do because i'm not italian but you speak spanish right i do see spanish so what's the difference well the difference is they don't [ __ ] use that in spanish okay then what and then what's extra large i don't know they have an extra life trend yes can you look up what's trent they mean [ __ ] monster it means [ __ ] you you're gonna die [ __ ] means curse on your family it means they had to make another size for the big fat americans they're like you got super large what's bigger than that so trente means 30. that's how many years that's how long you're gonna live if you order that [ __ ] how many years are shaped up no look up in italian what does venti mean what does vente mean in italian guys i think it means 20. i think it it's 12. they just give numbers like we ran out of sizes you fat [ __ ] what does grande mean in italian large and what does vente mean 20. and what is trente or whatever what does tall mean oh wait what is this why they do that i bet there's a logic behind it there's a reasoning also why the starbucks is not italian i'm just now realizing well because the well they they um culturally appropriated cappuccinos from italy but starbucks isn't known for their cappuccinos i guess a lot of coffee espresso and all that's italian right yeah it's true it's italia phobia at the end of the day it is it's cultural appropriation of italian x people italian eggs italian the italia x voices do matter they will be heard i wanted to learn italian for a bit because they're so it's so similar to spanish same thing like just a little guy put a little godfather on it yeah speaking spanish like robert de niro hey it's a muy bien that's good how many times i got to tell you what the [ __ ] is a tall me and it's a grande it's a day that makes no sense walk into a starbucks i ordered avente yeah i don't know i don't i can't do it i just say large and they know what i mean right they know what you mean yeah they say look at this guy sometimes they go vente i go did i stutter i said large yeah i appreciate you rebelling against the system thank you but i am an ally to italian people is really what i want to communicate and you're not you like duncan i like duncan i think duncan's better than starbucks but that's like a east coast thing you can't really compete out here in the west can you duncan's here people are just anal about starbucks out here well you can go to like a starbucks drive-through pretty much anywhere in in la there's lots of them duncan's where is there even a dunkin donuts okay one in l.a there's duncan's yeah there's yeah yeah let's get some duncan let's get some duncan what does that mean you want to get order coffee do you want donuts yeah sounds good you want to get pizza right now did you say pizza are you hungry brittany yeah what do you want to eat it sounds kind of good what what do you like on your pie someone to [ __ ] on it you want someone to have covered to take a [ __ ] on it what do you think of um the h3 special yeah hey special britney what do you think of um jalapeno pineapple and black olive pizza that's my pizza and everyone makes fun of me i'm not a black olive fan but i do like i love a hawaiian pizza and i like spicy okay first of all we're ordering pizza okay second of all we're gonna test the curse here today well we're drunk so we do need pizza let's go yo i want so i want whoever has the most covet um basically uh most active kova to take a steamer right on the middle of the pie okay i know just the place i'll put that in the notes oh damn you're le you blasted a luge from that one yeah if you could get that on the pie everything just leaked out of my face so what what's your dream pie a pizza yeah yes pizza we're not ordering from baskin robbins you know yeah sam we want we definitely want pizza i uh i do love a chicken barbecue pizza okay that's a fa that's actually a favorite around here yeah because you guys are warm-blooded americans okay this is america this is america and i do still want to pickle beer yeah we need if we can post-mate some pickle juice that is awesome yeah that's the worst thing ever one of you guys should actually try this it's [ __ ] yeah i i'm curious yeah it's yeah i mean i don't know smell it if you're into smoky flavors then then you'll like it but if you're into a brisket sandwich it's a meal replacement well you know some people like that what they call is um what do they call it there's like a liquid that is like liquid smoke liquids you got it tips i find that [ __ ] so repulsive well one drop of it'll kill you oh really instant death yeah like this post for instant death people are saying you should get pesto on the pizza yeah i was super sick lately and i went to the hospital and took a stool sample and my [ __ ] looked like fresh pesto and i'd never seen anything like it in fact i'll show you a photo if you want you know you don't have to [Laughter] well anyway i was showing all the guys the photo and now everyone's saying the masculine urge to show other men your [ __ ] well this wasn't like a norm like hey look at my giant it was like medically can someone please look at this yes can you can you look at it i think you'll be interested can you please look at this it's lime green it is it looks neon people describe the color as neon what did you eat nothing i had been puking and [ __ ] for days it was literally just bile what in poop makes it green that's like the top googled question and we still don't know the answer why is my poop green i think people know the answer then what is it why is my poop green they'd be like oh you know the answer let's see food may be moving through the large intestine too quickly such as diarrhea as a result oh it's stomach bile it doesn't have time to break down also leafy greens can do it so you're pooping out stomach bile that's must have been what it was pull it up dan so i have your consent to show you my [ __ ] yeah i think we need to i really don't want to she doesn't want to see it okay yeah but i do want the answer to the question let's just bile i do want to get to the end of this scientific hypothesis the chlorophyll and plants produces the green color usually yeah i was eating grass but slightly like a dog my stomach so i went out and was feeding on the yard was chewing on lawn also some frosting will do that too change the color what do you mean by that oh like colored frosting yeah food coloring yeah yeah yeah oh i was eating food coloring right before that too drinking food coloring like water a shot of it doctor i don't understand that your shit's like purple we have never seen this before what were you eating purple and glittery god well i was drinking purple food dye but other than that i can't think of anything yeah all right so let's get a pineapple uh what kind of vegetarian pizza do you like dan oh anything let's do mushroom she's into mushrooms right now let's go mushroom by the way this is good i'm into it you do you like it i don't like it so get me the pineapple and the [ __ ] i think you're a sicko that's okay that might you might be right yeah he's [ __ ] up he vaped for like 20 years so it brings him back it it reminds me of my smoking days again yeah is that what it's like cigarette butts in my mouth you've got a puff but it's just liquid smoke in it yo [ __ ] rhett and link they didn't give you alcohol and order your ass pizza red and link i said the f word and they they had to like they backed it up squares i said the f word they took me out back and beat me oh they [ __ ] you up yeah but you liked it yeah i love red link they're so nice no they're they're um i get it dude being a when you do too being a youtuber like being silenced were you silent or silent wait what do you mean by that just being like demonetized or having things you know like you need to take that out they're just so hyper sensitive to it that they try to keep it as family friendly as possible and i respect it i respect it basically i feel like we've learned the ropes a little bit here we don't get demonetized that much anymore and uh we we're very vulgar but those guys i think they just they live that life they're that family friendly guy they like they are they are but they've got a they got a raunchy side they did um when i was there he just showed me his dick and i was like bro i know right i was like first of all nice hog second of all not appropriate vip treatment that you did yeah sadly they both came in my green room and they both pulled out their dick at the same time said no one's ever going to believe you oh and i was like this is so inappropriate and i left and i've tried to tell and you're trying to tell your story nobody believes me it's [ __ ] up they're trying to silence you yeah yeah i love them i um i think that they uh in seriousness i think that they created a career path for a lot of people like really made the internet oh yeah legitimate format right they've done a daily format music touring youtube movies i mean it's wild they're talented they really are and sweet they're they're rare they're family man they're good men they are got wives they're not like toxic masculine [ __ ] yeah [Music] you

Channel: H3 Podcast Highlights

Views: 226,602

Keywords: h3 podcast, podcast, h3h3, h3h3productions, ethan klein, ethan and hila, brittany broski, kombucha, girl, sarah schauer, violating community guidelines, studio71, sarah, schauer, brittany, broski, britt, starbucks, frappe, frappé, caramel, ice, healthy, unhealthy, sugare

Id: ib5fPD5YYFw

Length: 16min 45sec (1005 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 10 2022