Brian Johnson - When God Becomes Real | Teaching Moment

and it was just too much for me to handle because I didn't offload it to God I held on to it I held on to the fear the pain and all of it and I literally hit a wall I was walking um I took my son to catch lizards at the sundial bridge because that's his favorite thing to do and we were catching lizards and something felt off in my body mentally and physically I was shaky I was weak I felt fuzzy my mind was not if any of you have had this happen it wasn't computing we just felt weird and I was starting to have a hard time breathing so I grabbed Braden raced home and I told Genesis something's off so we sure walk around her trail at our house and it got worse and worse and worse to her I could not breathe and I was having panic attack and I was I've had this before as a kid but it was something different and my body was shaking and it was just this weird out-of-control feeling and I now I know what it was as a nervous breakdown coming into the house my heart was racing out of my chest I put worship me is gonna sort of pacing the floors trying to catch my breath Jen called my parents Chris and Cathy a friend mark Mac and they all came over and my kids were there and it just got worse and worse and finally we called the ambulance and that whole time was such a fog it felt like either one minute or an eternity I wasn't quite coherent I was kind of in and out and um I remember the ambulance came and when the ambulance got there this this this one thought crossed my mind even though I was in the middle of this thing I walked over to my kids and I told my kids I said this is um I said this is when God becomes real and um because I knew there's a possible situation that like the Lord really needed to intervene for me and then they hug nipper to oxygen and they took me the hospital and they're they're putting started shooting with medication and this is a picture of me at the hospital cuz what happens when you don't deal with your stuff that's your future if you don't deal with your stuff I can say that with full confidence that's your future if you don't deal with your stuff if you grow a ministry and your rudder and you don't the other stuff doesn't get bigger that's your future and I'm put up the next shot they gave me meds and I live like this for months like I was stoned and on medication just so I couldn't feel because I couldn't handle anything I am I it's hard it's hard to describe but um this isn't like a son trying to be just like a soft story but but I think it's important to share this so like even if a blade of grass was out of order I would have it start having a panic attack it was very odd what I was experiencing and it got so bad that um I started taking more and more of the stuff when I realized real quick if I don't figure out what's going on inside of me I'm gonna become like a major drug addict I'm a worship pastor and I'm over I'm in charge of a lot of stuff right but at the same time I knew real quick if I don't figure this out I'm gonna get stuck on this stuff so um my wife decided let's let's uh let's go to Napa Knapp was our favorite places he took me to Napa which for that trip was hell on earth for three days and three nights up all night my heart was killing my chest as pop beat my heart beating on my chest and I was having such anxiety attacks um but that was a trip that saved my life because during that trip God really started working on me stuff that I didn't even know was I had was going on inside him he started 1040 certain things and even though his hell on earth on the drive back Jan walked me through like a sozo type thing like forgiveness so she started mentioning names and situations and I had no other choice because at that point in my life I'd hit such a rock-bottom that all the pur fuel stuff all the stuff that I'd done previous list didn't matter I took around with one of our other pastors who's had a similar experience if I had five million dollars on in my bank account I would have emptied my bank account you can ask Jen to - um - like rid myself of the the what I was experiencing but it wasn't that easy I had to take a step forward and I had to actually deal with the stuff so I just started repenting and forgiving it over the whole drive home and then this it's like a ray of light at the end of a tunnel kind of like sparked in that drive home and I knew that I was given like Peter an opportunity on that shore line when Jesus was asking me a question that one last time and I knew that this was my moment to where I had to take a step and change and I could never go back even though I wasn't in a terrible place guys I wasn't I'm a Christian leading worship whatever but there were certain things that God was wanting me to get rid of offload and step into the new destiny and I made a decision and I and I came home and I just started devouring the Bible I remember I'm a pastor's kid I've I've read the bio my own life and where she was gonna night and day I stopped working I didn't work at all I didn't do anything that would like distract me from just the simplicity of intimacy with God and I dove into the word and I read this verse in the Bible this was like looks like my favorite verse it's in Luke and there's a prostitute at Jesus feet and there's a religious leader there and Jesus is telling the religious leader this she has been forgiven of all her many sins and this is where I was at in my heart even though I had not committed these sins I wasn't I hadn't committed in my mind like the deepest darkest things like a prostitute but I had sins that I was holding on to she had been forgiven of our many sins and this is why she has shown me such love but those who assumed they had very little to be forgiven of will love me very little and it hit me in that moment that that's the secret is if we can keep our hearts pure and humble before the Lord we can see the fullness of who he is and but like the religious leader if you feel like you've got it all together and there's this like Peter had before the cross is arrogance this cell this the selfish pride that is confident in my ability in my own talents more than his grace I can't see the fullness of who he is but this prostitute did and that verse changed my life [Music]

Channel: WorshipU by Bethel Music

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Keywords: brian johnson, when god becomes real, brian johnson book, worshipu, worhsipu on campus, bethel music, bssm, worship u, strengthen yourself in the lord, redding california, bethel redding, worship leading tips, bethel sermons, bethel.tv, sermons, johnson, worship online, emotional health, worshipu on campus, jenn johnson, becoming like jesus, prophetic word, church leadership, how to lead a worship team, worship leader tips, bethel church, bethel, holy spirit, worship leader

Id: DhpATDHOs5g

Length: 6min 44sec (404 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 08 2019