Living From Conviction - Jeremy Riddle

[Applause] [Music] hello I haven't done anything yet guys so um maybe just they've just wait no it's fine um what a beautiful night that was such a good word Gabe wherever you are about hope I just felt a lot of weight on that my um my niece got baptized tonight I did not know that little Ava my gosh Oh mess um and um Bethany Forman blonde gal right here just led our Father which is such that will forever be a significant song for me I will never forget the day that I that I led that song for the first time never led that before it's about an hour 15 into a ship set and Hunter was the only one that was Hunter song if you didn't know that Hunter's the one that brought that song to our world and and I remember it was one of those moments the set wasn't going well but something began to shift in the in the room and and we came to this crazy moment and I'm like I'm supposed to sing this song and I'd never sung that song before I didn't even know all the right lyrics and so I started out just super timid I'm like ah and then you're committed so I'm like in my head I'm scrambling for the words but I will never forget that night I'll never forget what the Lord did um yeah his glory just began to manifest in the room and such an intense and beautiful way and I've never stopped kind of waiting for it you know ever since then so it's an honor to privilege we've been here seven years which is crazy it feels like yesterday and it also feels like dog years at Bethel because I feel like I've been here for at least 14 that's that's more like what it feels like but I'm so grateful to be here with you guys it's a crazy honor and never my wildest dreams that I that I think I would find myself here standing behind this pulpit and before I think about that too long and completely become a yeah wreck I just want to launch in here let's just pray Holy Spirit I just asked that you would breathe confidence in this room the confidence of God invade this place tonight fill our hearts fill our minds fill our bodies just release a holy conviction in our hearts tonight I pray in Jesus name and everybody said amen I want to talk about conviction living from conviction this is a word that's been stirring in my spirit for some time and I'll it's actually a very personal word for me which is heart the heart of word to give is the ones that are very personal to you and you're a little bit in the middle of the process if you guys know what I'm talking about so um I've been in this season of growing in confidence which is very interesting for me because it's not necessarily something I've ever struggled with before or I've not been aware of the areas that I haven't maybe been as strong as I as I would have thought so I am about six to eight months ago something in that in that in that realm or area I am I started being crazy insecure and to the point particularly in worship like I'd be fine in just about every other context but for some reason in worship in leading worship I would get crazy insecure and there was one point is during a leaders advance and I am trying to sing I'm trying to sing my hardest and my voice is literally cracking I feel like I am more than normal for those of you who who know how I sing it's like that's a crazy uh normal thing but far more than normal and I'm reaching for notes and there's nothing there and I feel like I am falling apart on the inside and this is like six years into my journey here it's not like I didn't feel established in this community it's not like in my head I'm having such a battle such a wrestle um because I'm like I feel like I should be at a stage in my life and a stage in this house where I'm operating in the more confidence than I've ever operated in ever before and instead I am struggling to make it through a set right now and obviously I feel one of the things that was super good that I've learned here is you ask God questions it's been a super helpful tool for me to ask the Lord what the what the heaven is going on in my heart okay um this needs to end or I need to quit or or something maybe it's my season maybe it's my time to just stop or whatever it was all these these questions are going through my head and I just began to ask the Lord and I it was it was like this this impression that was just so strong and he said Jer the thing that I want to do with your life the things that I want to grow you in the areas of authority that I want you to step into in order to take that territory you are going to need to deal with the level of inner conflict you have carried around most of your life there's an area that you will not be able to go and operate in that kind of insecurity um it'll it'll kill you and um not kill me it's so dramatic but you guys understand what I'm saying there's questions you see begin to speak to you about questions as there's questions that you've entertained you can no longer entertain you can no longer tolerate an insecure orphaned way of thinking and you can no longer live without these deep convictions and I think I remember this I'm saying this you need to believe I am who I say that I am and that you are who I say that you are which is sometimes the big ordeal I don't have a lot of I don't have a lot of problem believing that God is who he says that he is but sometimes I have a it's much different when you have to receive who he says that you are and he said that you need to be confident in a way that's absolutely foreign to you I don't like introductions Eric did that on purpose because he loves me so much and no it's beautiful uh you know what's funny about God is he doesn't deal with your issues all at once I'm not fine I've lived with like an immense amount of internal conflict my entire life and I'm like why now Lord why why now are you having me deal with this thing it was normal but you know it's funny what's crazy is that in one season what's normal will kill you in the next because we're the Lord's leading you it's just never the same when you have your yes to the Lord well for one that's the craziest most amazing beautiful scary place to be is just to have a continual yes not just a yes for a season but like a yes for the rest of your life it just means you know Eric was talking about pruning this morning and it was um but it's the whole thing of like you're a part of a vineyard you're yes tool or if you're abiding with the Lord there's gonna be coming seasons where you get pruned if your yes is for him and he is your vine dresser guess what it's just really exciting that's all that's all there is to it so um I want to talk about being a people of deep conviction a people of great faith and a people of outrageous confidence in God which I barely feel qualified to speak on but maybe that's what I'm gonna do it and let me just clarify though conviction the kind of conviction that I'm talking about I'm not talking about conviction of sin I fully believe in that I pray for it on lots of different people on a regular basis but that's not a stuff what I'm talking about tonight also conviction I'm not talking is that there's a there's a vast difference between having a conviction and knowing a truth or or or a fact I don't know if you guys have ever been in a casual conversation you could be talking about the weather you can be talking about food you can be talking about politics you can be talking about any number of things and it's nice and it's lighthearted and then all of a sudden somebody just begins to speak and you're like what is this heat that I'm feeling off of you right now like there's a weight in which you are speaking and I mean I've ever been in that kind of situation what you just did is you just stepped on the landmine of someone's conviction and you had no idea yeah it happens a lot to people who talk to me well just having an innocent sweet conversation all of a sudden I get really intense and I'm like you know and yeah it's a conviction convictions are things we carry at our core they shape our lives they shape our choices and they are essential for impact and influence and three things I really want us as believers to know about faith about conviction and I think are massive for us the first thing I want us to know is that it's actually who we are we were made to be a people of great faith one of the things that's happening in the church today that I'm I think is amazing it's almost like the church is getting realized it's like they're discovering the gospel again I was just with Todd white up in Canada and um guys know Todd he's such a dear guy I don't I've never even had a coffee with him we've had a few more chances to interact by just marijuana he just comes up he's talked to me he's crying tears his eyes just like I love you man I love you know Mike I love you too ah you know I do though I do actually felt really sincere I'm like no I I love you I've never even had a conversation with you but I really really love you and he's this is that kind of guy but he was up there and he was just preaching the gospel and it was crazy like I have never felt that level of just like kind of funder in the atmosphere and I'm like he's just talking about the Gospel through the church and it's is there's a certain things that for whatever reason they fall off their pedestal they they they they stop being the core the center of our message and one of those things is faith God's gift to us was conviction not confliction but conviction and I looked that up that's an actual word in the dictionary in case you just think I made up a word its confliction it's to be conflicted we are not meant to be to live as a conflicted people we were meant to live as a deeply convicted people holding deep beliefs deep truths and the whole thing about Jesus just blows my mind because sometimes in the church um things get more and more confusing and what's wild to me is I could understand that from an Old Testament perspective I can understand in a lot of ways but Jesus came took on flesh live 30 plus years of his life here with us to demonstrate give us a physical representation of who God is and what God is like he did not come to further our confusion he came to give us a solid foundation where if we'd had any confusion or conflicting thoughts about who God was or who God is or how God operates all of a sudden we have God in the flesh and we're like I see you I see who you are I see you into what you're doing it's a firm foundation and we are no longer to live in a conflicted State he gave us something to believe in ever I said that unsure about ourselves and unsure about God we serve locked up in insecurity I think the one of the reasons why that song no longer slaves is so powerful because it's really just touching on this this whole thing of like we are no longer slaves to fear we're no longer slaves to this conflicted I don't know I'm insecure like we are no longer slaves to this we have a new nature and at the core of our new nature is faith so whatever you used to be I'm a recovering Seneca holic is what I tell people so whatever you used to be whether used to be a cynic whether used to be a skeptic or a doubter the good news is you are no longer you are no longer you are a new faithful creation with a faith filled nature which means that you now major in belief not doubt you're not designed to doubt anymore you're only designed to believe I just want you to I wanna read some scripture here and I just really it's it's more for you guys just to catch the tone you know it's why not when a topic just begins to scream at you that you've kind of just ignored you read those verses all of your life and it just begins to scream just scream hebrews i'm just gonna dance around hebrews so i'm not even going to tell you scriptures i'm just gonna read alright cuz it's a it's it's just a lot you know what's so embarrassing is that i forgot my Bible tonight and it's terrible terrible to show up at church when you're about to preach and realize that you did not bring your Bible but I did print out these scriptures now I have the memorizers just told you know they remember no um Hebrews 3:6 I'd know whatever but Christ is faithful over God's house as a son and we are his house if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope skippy down to the end of chapter 4 it says for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses but one who is every respect has been tempted as we are yet without sin let us then with confidence drawn the heir to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace 10:19 therefore brothers since we have as her getting it to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus by the new and living way that he opened up for us to the curtain that is to his flesh and since we have a great priest over the house of God let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith finally the all famous verse here I'm really gonna this is what I want to get at faith is the assurance depending on your version of things hoped for the conviction the I know that I know that I know of things not seen faith is who you are faith is who we are number two it's required to do the job the territory that's in front of us I think part of the reason why I'm sharing this and exposing what I'm in the middle of my process and is because sometimes the Lord does these prophetic things and he will drag me through a process that I realize is not just for me it's actually for more and I'm literally just sharing my process because I feel the same thing that there's territory for me that I I have to deal with a level of insecurity in me and I have to grow in confidence that that territory cannot be accessed any other way I feel the same thing for us as a people and us as a church and I'm not just talking in a corporate way I feel like there's things in front of you guys there's things that you're called to take down um there's things that you're called to take maybe this maybe this language is not is not the best but they're yours land you're called to take that you're called to occupy but that you will not be able to do that in insecurity or in doubting or in question you will have to step into a place of faith you will have to begin to live from deep deep conviction if you want to know what deep deep conviction looks like it's me right now every time I stop to speak I'm like why God why don't want to do this don't but I'm called - I'm called - all right so good there's territory that will only be taken by the Joshua and the Caleb's by men and women of great confidence don't know if you think about this often but our assignment here on the earth is crazy okay great take slike an insane amount of faith just believe that it's possible you know heal the sick raise the dead cast out demons preach the gospel disciple nations make disciples teaching them to obey everything that Jesus commanded you know it's crazy about that if you think the pastoral assignments are easier than the raising the dead ones you've never pastored anybody yeah those are challenging challenging things yeah and the only way to fulfill our task here on the earth is to believe with every fiber in our being not in our own stuff but in our God and who he is and who he's called us to be and I just see there's so much breakthrough that is locked up it's locked up in like storehouses only to be accessed by people who are moving with a deep conviction who are filled with a great faith a people who aren't conflicted who aren't conflicted about the nature of God they aren't conflicted about what he wants to do on the earth they're not conflicted about his heart for people you know it's interesting about the parable of the talents is that the guy that it didn't go well for was the most conflicted person and the people that just I mean I don't know you know you don't know the story just says to one was given ten and then five and the other one and you know it's just like apparently the guy who just took ten was not a conflicted persons literally leg we're gonna multiply this we're gonna get after it and we're gonna see it happen you know and then the guy with the five same thing just confidence like hey we're gonna this we know what to do but the guy that it did not go well for was the one that was deeply conflicted like I don't know you're this kind of master and I was basically scared out of my mind so I buried it not a good plan we need great faith number three again reiterating it's what we need a lot more of in my life yes Lord and in yours I just want to make a couple leadership observations I have mentored a lot of young worship leaders and obviously in tribe mentoring a lot of young leaders period and one of the things that's so interesting to me particularly about worship leaders is there's a lot of this kind of conversation about I listen to people they just chat about worship and they say things that they probably shouldn't say but it's it's humorous to me half the time but they're just like oh I just love that leader she or he is so anointed so anointed and and in another way they're like have another leader I just I don't I don't I don't feel the anointing on their life or everything kind of rises or falls based on our anointing it you know I found to be so curious is that half the time actually having a relationship with those leaders I'm like what your feeling is not there I mean it's in part dear me it's important their anointing but what you're actually encountering is their level of confidence it's their level of conviction and um because I've watched people in different settings like we all have those moments where for whatever reason we have enough confidence we're able to wrestle down the demons that are in our head trying to talk to us and we're able actually step into something and breakthrough into something and all of a sudden lo and behold people think were anointed when really all we did was step into a place of boldness and began to let a conviction in the fire of a conviction the conviction come out of us and I've seen worship leaders who their anointing is is alive and well but but it it's not able to come out because of their level of insecurity because they're not able to pull on a deep conviction and the other obviously side of this is true the enoy to be anointed leaders the people moving in power I've gotten around people that are moving in something that I really want to move in and you know we have a culture where it's like can you give me or no thing please pray up but you know in part this and part that and that kind of thing and I'm as hungry as the next person you know maybe maybe not quite as weird or brazen but um which maybe means I'm not quite as hungry but I'm I like getting around these people like I watched them I study them I'm like what is it about you that enables you to move in some of these ways so powerfully that I longed for and you know what I found as I began to rub shoulders with some of these men and women is that the one they're not conflicted yeah well not not in the area that they're moving in great power and what I what I what I've come for is and I'm like I want to see your anointing at work and what I've actually been forced to encounter is the depth of their conviction that's been the thing that that's rocked me and I would be so bold as to say that I dare you to try and find a leader who's operating a great anointing and in great power that it's not tied to a deep conviction about the nature of God about the truth of God they have held and steward it for many many years and there is this interesting blend I'm not saying there's not anointing involved I'm just saying that there is something that releases our anointing it says the Spirit of the God as you know as upon me has anointed me to do X Y & Z if that's already the case then what are we lacking conviction you know I just sometimes if you just want to think about conviction you know personified it's like loo angle Oh angle just literally like he's vibrating I think most the time but you don't gather seventy thousand people in the Coliseum in the middle of Los Angeles without some real real deep conviction and I bill Johnson such rah I've learned so much from him about confidence about authority because it's such a different manifestation but it's no less powerful and um just little things like we read in the children's offering like do you realize just how straight-up confident that offering reading is I am powerful her you know right I'm important how God made me is amazing I'm gonna change the ever-loving world like you're just so confident and I I just love it um I do it's just I I mean I remember our first offering readings I would just be here and you know I've been exposed to a lot of things in church but I've never been exposed to that I just hear this like just marvelous smile on my face going I can't believe we're reading this jobs and better jobs finding my me just like very very confidence um but a beautiful thing to me about this environment what Bill has so champion it's not a conflicted environment it's not conflicted there's no one who has peer on a prayer line who's going to be conflicted about whether or not God wants to heal you there's just not any no one's having that kind of conversation God's in a good mood this very very simple phrase what is it doing what is it intended to do it's it's basically all of this stuff I am important God is in a good mood loves me all the time it's Italy just Beth was being used to breathe confidence back into the church that has grown deeply insecure about who God is and they have forgotten the core fundamentals of who he is so yes that's cry out for a greater anointing but just in the same breath like God give us a deeper conviction of who you are a deeper faith a deeper boldness all right practically how do I grow in confidence deal with insecurities and begin to live from deep conviction um I've written a list of things that I think are important to champion some of this is just it's not going to be rocket science so first step know your core convictions what are your core convictions honor if you guys ever asked yourself that question of what is that the core of me what are my convictions what are those things that I get heated about like when someone starts talking about something I'm like I mean ie they're not hard to spot maybe you just haven't been aware like what are these things that get you that get you leadership to me can be summed up in this it's someone who brings a people into alignment or agreement with their deep inner core conviction it's really true so if you don't know your convictions you're probably not doing a great job of leading people and if you don't think you're a leader I subscribe to banning leave sure's view on this and he says every Christian is a leader every Christian is called to lead a world into an encounter with God there's leadership in some form in some capacity because you are a son or a daughter of God leadership is part as part of it so ask the question what are my convictions and here's the thing the most common conviction that I encounter particularly within a worship community we're just dealing with leaders period is that is that I go like okay y-you know they're like just the thing that I hear over and over and over and over again it's actually beautiful I don't mean to downplay this is I just know that I'm called to do this I know I'm supposed to do that I know it's supposed to be up there on stage I know I'm supposed to preach for thousands like I just know that I know that I'm supposed to do this thing and I'm like wonderful yeah wonderful that is absolutely the first step but once you get the microphone what's your conviction you're there you made it where are you taking people like what actually burns in your heart to do you need way more than just a conviction that you're called to do something you know what makes for a very ineffective worship leader it's not actually a bad voice it's not a bad musical skill set all those things are very very helpful helpful for worship leaders what makes a truly ineffective worship leader is when they lack conviction about the worth of God I've seen people who are terrible singers and guitar players bring a room into an encounter because they're so convinced that God is worthy and they lead with this conviction that is so compelling I mean I've discovered this personally that I am a terrible horse breeder when I am not thoroughly convinced of the worth of God and it's happened on multiple occasions where I just didn't come in with that fire and it just was a downward spiral but in my journey I don't know that if my anointing has grown so much as my deep convictions have grown and I can walk you through these shifts that have taken place in my life as a worship leader of these moments where a conviction was birthed and it was born in me I can take you to this one time I was sitting down I was watching a Coldplay concert and I shared this you know before and I'm just the band had not even started to play at all I began to see was 10,000 people screaming like losing their minds and there was this moment of holy jealousy that rose up on me and of like this conviction literally laid ahold of my heart like I see it I I know what this is supposed to look like I know what worship is supposed to look like like I'm getting a picture right now of what every gathered time with the church is supposed to look like I I can see it as clear as day God is worth that and I know that I know that I know that he's worth that I mean I could take you back I remember a time you know we talked about those moments where the Holy Spirit just put you on like a glove you know yeah and I have one of those moments where um I don't know what was even going on with me but I was just in a zone like in in a crazy zone I just began elite worship this is during worship you I think was like 2013 and I'm and I'm just beginning to lead and something like in the middle of that service I became so utterly convinced of the worthiness of God like it was wild so what you know it's a whole bunch of international students and so I just began to be like it was funny we kind of had a down mode in the song and I think I scare people but I'm like who's here from another nation like who is here from another nation and I'm like right now begin a sing in your own language like God is worthy of your nation he's worthy of your nation you know gar yes sir yeah you know like that kind of it uh those moments don't happen all the time and again I'm not puffing or you know trying to toot my own horn it was just one of those moments where a conviction was formed it actually had nothing to do with me my skill set how well my voice was going how well the set was going it was just I was all of a sudden all I could all I could see and know is that God was worthy of the nations of the earth to come together and worship and so I said begin to sing in your own tongue and then we went back into the songs and they have this really hilarious audio clip that hunts hence I think has a place to himself when he needs entertainment and F's know but I just began yelling at the nations of you're not yelling at them but it was like I'm like angling China friends Slovakia yeah you like it's good but you were the other nations I'm just so you worthy of the nation's I remember watching back going like what was going on with me like I don't even know it was so utterly but I remember also thinking that I'm like I like that guy like I want to be that guy a whole lot more often who ever happened to that guy like let's make that happen lots lots lots more because that was like the truest version of myself it was the most convicted I've ever been as a worship leader and when you truly get in touch like when I truly got in touch with the worst of God it was like nothing else matter like I don't care what you think of me I don't care who's giving me accolades I don't care who's giving me criticism I don't care whether you confirming my calling or whether you're denying that I have a calling like nothing else matters when you are convinced of who God is and the worth of God like I am compelled I have a microphone you're gonna know it like you're gonna know this fire that is within me what are your convictions what are these things that burn in you where that the journeys that the Lord has led you on that have that have had these moments where you've had like like an epiphany or just a moment of clarity where like I get it I know what are your convictions be led by them let them be seen on you and you don't have to have a lot one of my favorite examples of just someone who just holds convictions so well as Stephanie gret singer and she's um well she holds it in her own way I have lots of people that I know actually have crazy convictions that they they hold but um but uh she'll just feast on a song trying to get a set list out of Stephanie gret singer it's just a joy to joy and a privilege until she finds the song of her season and then your next 18 setlist are all taken care of coz is you just like what you want to do king of my heart okay sweet king of my heart let's get it yeah second thing yeah second big um you have to grow your convictions you need to know what they are needed to grow them convictions require feeding they actually perish without the right nutrition you can't think of them like stoic little objects that you achieve once and like trophies and you put them on a shelf and they're they're yours forever they don't work like that they're more like tender plants they need love they need care they need frequent attention to produce the fruit that you want them to and if you want more boldness if you want more confidence when you're being called upon to lead or carry more responsibility in an area you have to feed your convictions til they're fire eclipses your fear and just speaking about tonight like you know when Eric asked me I was doing email and on who actually asked me to speak but um again my initial reaction is be scared to death like that's 100% the truth like and you guys I don't know if you know what it's like to be scared to death but it's like this my heart just and then every time I think about like speaking I'm like huh just yeah down now um and what I realized in all these situations cuz I've been putting them on a regular basis ever since I got to Bethel I remember being so scared to death when I realized that I did not have the power to end my own sets that somebody who ever was at their whim and and they could make me sing a lot longer than I really wanted to sing and if no one came up to rescue me I remember that made me so anxious and it's been like that thing at the same time you're like made for it and so what I used to do in those situations just realize like oh my gosh this requires a fire this requires me to build a fire that will eclipse my fear conviction feeding I'm gonna feed a conviction until it's the thing that outweighs my fear so I'm not just an insecure mess trying to be true to my calling number three deal with your double mindedness this is crazy verse here guys I'm gonna read it's James chapter one verses five through seven says if any of you lacks wisdom let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach and it will be given him but let him ask in faith with no doubting for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind for that person must not suppose he will receive anything from the Lord he is a double-minded man unstable in all his wings that's a crazy crazy verse if you really meditate on it like if you're gonna ask something of God believe it completely a hundred percent don't doubt it at all if you doubt it you're like a wave that's just in the middle of the ocean being tossed to and fro and you are unstable in all of your ways and I realize that as a leader that's the very thing that the Lord is is dressing and has been addressing it's like you have a double mind in one second you're on this holy rock you know and you're declaring the truth in the next second you're questioning everything he's like that's that's a double mind it's making you unstable in all of your ways I believe that one of the greatest works of God in our lives apart from paying and blood for our Redemption is the removal of doubt and the deep crippling insecurity in our lives in the infusion of faith confidence and full assurance God is transforming a bunch of people from being doubters into believers that's literally what he's about and we have to begin to deal with doubt as the destructive creature that it is because doubt destabilizes everything you are trying to build and easier said than done I understand that so here's how do you actually kill this kill this thing called doubt no and I think you just need to recognize it my dear friend Jason valladon was a treasure to this church has been a massive treasure to me was actually the first person to pursue me at this church and I didn't even know why and he would just call me up and just want to hang out all the time and like I don't understand but I liked it and yes and we didn't have any friends or anything up here so it was beautiful but he's obviously as a massive gift and understanding human hearts and he just would talk to me is like what's your self-talk like I'm like it's my self-talk no but he taught me to pay attention to myself talk and the negative thought process one of things that begun to understand is that I have so many crazy negative thought processes in my head all the time it's like a constant conflicting murmur like a dialogue in my head how many guys have ever had like a devil's advocate kind of tape playing in your head all the time yeah you know what's crazy is that that might not be the devil's advocate it may actually be the devil it's true and I'll be in these situations where I will and it's never in the middle of it I'll tell you right now like after I teach my brain if if I open myself up to it is gonna go some crazy places which I'm not gonna open myself up to it she's good you go with me okay so but you start to analyze everything that you said and yada yada yada and all of a sudden I'm like what did I do this what did I did I do that or I'm not like whatever it's this downward spiral it's what our brains are doing all the time and what does that do it just he stabilizes you it destabilizes you we have to recognize the schemes of the enemy guys we really do what does the enemy do he sews down like he's a professional doubts or he does it with questions he does it with accusations he's been doing it since the beginning of time of like to God really say like whenever anyone starts a conversation with did God really say I can tell you that person's operating under a crazy amount of deception not on what yeah yeah yes yeah that's one of those moments a lot of times just give it disclaimer sweet covered my bases okay why why does he do this why is he so doubt because confusion indecisiveness insecurity and a lack of assurance are his playground like he just has a field day with the indecisive mind we go through these cycles of Revelation we get really excited we get a moment of clarity we get fresh vision and we start down the road and we've to go after the things that God has for us and and then all of a sudden what do we hit we hit opposition we hit roadblocks we hit a few shut doors and what do we begin to do we start to entertain the wrong question and then we go into this spiral of confusion and you know the wind gets sucked out of our sails and and I'm pretty soon we're reduced to Netflix it's kind of how my life goes at least so derail like derail we have to begin to recognize a cycle and a pattern in our lives and the next thing that's the first step next thing we need to do is we need to learn how to shut it down like shut it down you're so much more powerful than you think you are in this regard shut it down forcefully entertaining doubt is a luxury that you cannot afford like you cannot afford unless you just want to wallow but if you want to have a life that's stepping into the fullness of what God has for you a life of momentum where you're pushing forward into the new doubt is a luxury that you cannot afford and I've had to learn this hard way in a lot of ways cuz I just give you a very personal example I took a week off this a while ago and some of you guys know that I that I manage the 1 p.m. service and it's been awesome it's been fun super challenging and what it means I'm basically responsible I don't have to teach but I'm responsible for you know who's gonna close the service who's gonna open it up and and offering and so on and so forth so um I took a week of vacation and how many has about those weeks where you just did not press into the Lord like you were supposed to okay and and I I just didn't I really struggled to read my Bible and and and literally I mean the whole time kind of had that guilty thought of like I need to read I know I know and I need to connect I need to connect but I just kept resisting it whatever reason and I kept filling my life up with a bunch of to do's and just you know stuff that wasn't that important and all the way up till Sunday morning and and I found myself and I'm driving to church realizing that I've not pressed in I've not listened or tried to hear the voice of the Lord and um and and I'm looking at my team now normally if I have a great team then I don't have to do anything but at the 1 p.m. I'm making so many confessions I feel like I'm just blurting out just being way too honest ok but um so I'm thinking like alright I'm not in a good headspace probably I don't need to hold a microphone today so I'm gonna pass this off to somebody else than that I start to panic when I realize that there's nobody it's nobody at my service which then I begin to realize that I'm gonna have to hold a microphone at some point and then what I begin to realize is that oh my gosh I'm tortured right now and I'm like and I begin to think I begin to scramble in my head for some word that I got some other times some were way in the back rather than asking the Lord for a word for his people because why because well I'm ashamed and I'm and I just stopped myself and I'm like I'm letting this destructive pattern happen in my head I'm like and I just knew in that moment I'm like I cannot do this like I can't do this so I said Lord I'm fully aware I've done a really terrible job at trying to connect with you this week but this isn't about me and I need you to speak to me and I got three things right away like right away and I walked in and it was probably one of the most powerful times I've ever spoke and people whatever it was just like that obvious thing where I made a connection and I just realized that there are just moments in our lives guys there's moments in our lives where where our instinctual response for whatever reason our performance kind of driven I'm super performance driven in a lot of ways but that will us it'll sabotage us and we cannot afford to doubt I hope I'm making sense here I don't mean you can never have a moment of doubt but opening it up inviting it in giving it a cup of tea like that kind of thing is it will kill your momentum you need to learn to shut it down I don't know how many times in worship this is just another super honest thing I've been in worship and and I love holy moments I love holy moments of the Lord and we've been taught so carefully and so well by Bill - like like when the Lord is doing something like we don't want to get in a way we don't want to mess that up I've you guys I don't know when you feel responsible for like there's something beautiful beginning to happen in worship right now like I don't I want to increase this I want to see it you know obviously I know how many times like I've started out you take a risk you're like a song pops in your head or maybe it's a prophetic thing and you launch out you take a risk and that beautiful thing that was beginning to happen in the room just kind of goes mmm there's a moment right there you cannot afford out and I have afforded myself that much to my deep pain yes I before myself that I've just paid that check over and over and over again rather than realizing how much grace is available I got you you can go through these you guys know the moments what I'm talking about where you got two options you can spiral in like oh I screwed that up I'm a terrible person I'm a terrible worship leader bill is super disappointed in me right now bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla you open yourself up to that and man you just subject the next 30 20 minute you mean people are just like I'm sorry I'm just so sorry I'm terrible then things my watch oh just how did I do that it's the worst I've learned to shut down that process like oh I hear you coming I hear you coming from a mile away like Wham like it's violent like in my head I violent pictures of what I'm doing to my head like no no you will not you will not derail me you will not sabotage me we are going to keep yeah good we're gonna keep pressing you [Applause] we're gonna keep going after this thing I have so many stories I'll finish this because I really want to go after ministry number four be prepared for opposition and attack don't be surprised by opposition and attack and sometimes we just need to grow a thicker skin um I was talking again with Jason we're processing and we were kind of laughing at all the things we want to do with our lives that we weren't really going after in the moment but we're deeply convicted about we're just not actually doing anything about it and he's like do you think we're lazy I just forget to think about the honest question I'm like I don't know I begin to think about I'm like no I'm not lazy what I am is I'm easily sabotage I take one little soft punch to the chin and I'm like my life's purpose is over you know like do we have an arsenal ready for those kinds of attacks I mean this is this is a Bill Johnson message and you know strengthen thyself in the Lord moment guys know what I'm talking about do we have a set of convictions do we have a set of scriptures things that quickly restore our confidence in the character the one leading our life like and coaching ourselves I mean I mean self talking they're in the best way like I mean just talking yourself like I may not be sure why this door shut I don't know what it means but I'm not gonna waste time analyzing I'm not gonna go down this path that's destructive because I know the one I'm yielded to I know the one who loves me and I know the one who's forming whose promises are more sure than any word that any leader has ever spoken over my life I'm confident that he will work good in me he has a future he has a promise no matter what disappointments I will face I know who's leading my life I know he's leading my life be prepared for opposition be prepared for attack it happens last whatever you do keep moving forward there's such a difference I love Bill when he talks about there's questions that that you ask in the mess hall and in the barracks that you never ask on the front lines and the kind of questions you ask really give away actually what position you're in and things on the front lines you're not theorizing about the political correctness of war you're not like do I believe in war do I not believe in war what it Agustin say about war is it's something that you're not thinking you realize you're being shot at someone's trying to kill you guys understand you can have some conversations in the end the barracks like away from the frontlines in a certain conversation you just don't have on the front lines and the thing you learn on the front lines is that you never stop moving whatever you do don't ever stop moving what's the easiest target to hit the one that's not moving I love this verse in Philippians it says this brothers I do not consider that I've made it my own but one thing I do forgetting what lies behind forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus so just keep moving like if you have a bad day if you have whatever it may be you get sabotage you get derailed I think the most important thing that we can do is just to keep moving you know he's taught me a lot about this um just about every leader I've ever interacted with but Brian Johnson has taught me so much about this about a guy that refined I mean he has been hit in the craziest gnarliest ways and he just never stops moving I mean there are times where I feel like our world's falling apart its falling apart and Brian's like let's make a project yeah let's do that's like moving forward like no and I'd be like I would just stall out like we have to fix this and fix this and by the time fix this the whole movement would be over acted honestly that that sometimes how yeah how it feels like you have to continue to move for the press on okay it's like I just yelled at you guys for a really really long time um um it's just a season to believe it never is not a season to believe but it's just a season to believe and I I just want to encourage whatever you believe that God has put on your life just believe it like remove doubt you know we don't have any control over the scope of our lives and this is again I when I talk about believing it I mean walk this out with the Lord like entrust your life to him but believe the things that he's spoken over your life like believe the things that he's called you to do I feel like the Lord wants to restore convictions he wants to restore things that have kind of fallen off out off the the shelf or you've fallen off the horse or whatever I just love what Gabe went after is that I feel very very similar that's something that the Lord wants to do like you once held like a really really strong conviction you just don't hold it anymore like something in life is kind of stolen that from you and the Lord wants to restore that even just visions even dreams that you've had for your own life things that you've long since abandoned and moved on I just feel like the Lord is calling you to take up arms again like in the things that you're purposed to do and again there's no guarantees that it's going to be a glorious life but it will be a life where you're multiplying the thing that you were given to Stewart here on the earth which is going to be the most glorious whether you ever see the fruit of your life you will have known that I took these talents of mine and I multiplied them I multiply them I gave them I didn't bury them in the ground I gave them I saw them multiplied who is that here can we just pray for you real quick you mind standing I'm gonna read that verse again over you but one thing I do forgetting what lies behind and straining forward yeah I just bless you to leave your past behind to forget literally forget what lies behind you and to once more in this moment to begin to strain forward tomorrow when you wake up with a new sense of purpose that feeling of failure and regret or things it's just kind of it a shroud over you yeah I just command you to go and that's a mall morning you would wake up with a fresh sense of purpose like your inner being your spirit would be straining forward straining forward pressing on to the goal the prize of the upward call of God on your life and I pray for fresh vision fresh revelation fresh purpose fresh conviction that you would fill journals over the next couple of months with the visions and the things that you would be afire creatively yeah just increase the increase in Jesus name and none one more and then we like Chris Chris once use come on oh it's Dan I'm just going to pray for again the confidence of God to fill this room and if you want more confidence in your life just put your hands out and put your hands up whatever spirit of the Living God right now fill our hearts with confidence fill our hearts with confidence confidence and who you are confidence in what you want to do through our lives confidence in what you want to do on the earth confidence in the people that we're in relationship right now that we've lost hope for like confidence like an unshakable conviction fill us with conviction again I pray fill the church with conviction again about who they are fill us with a conviction of sons and daughters again here on the earth the authority that we have the assignment that we have on the earth fill us with conviction in our everyday life whether it be in the home whether it be in the business realm whatever it may be fill us with the conviction of the kingdom of God and the assignment that's honest fill us with confidence in Jesus name Amen amen come on [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Yoni Bramnick

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Id: WWbuIx9KJ9E

Length: 60min 0sec (3600 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 05 2017