Bootleg Star Wars Figures: The Fake Menace | Ashens

[Music] hello Alec hello Stuart it's time for dreadful Star Wars figures again cry you shouldn't really be allowed on eBay I don't think yeah I need to stop buying these then I guess that still I think if the only one keeping the market afloat to be honest with it well we've got mostly mostly original trilogy stuff with a few prequel bits mixed in yeah I guess a bit prequel Liat points nothing from any of the new films unfortunately I was hoping we'd find some rogue one stuff but nobody seems that interested oh maybe it's early days yet yeah hopefully in six months we'll be awash with terrible jyn erso and all the rest of it we live in hope well as one word for anyway anyway let's begin with everybody's favorite farmhand it's Luke Skywalker everyone eat right so I'm going for Netflix special where he's a moody teenager the whole time it's this a particularly grim-looking Skywalker isn't it got hint of the Kevin Bacon's about I think we should also point out that his neck has a habit of not staying on as well yeah there's a series that's probably what's upsetting to be fair oh my god was it was quite that bad Oh Luke what happened what happened man also his space shoelaces appear to be undone amuse me knowing if you're gonna go for a fight with Darth Vader in Cloud City you should really tie up your shoes first so in the holster would you say this wasn't the original gun I thought I would hazard a guess that it wasn't this is this is not a screen accurate weapon there's nothing screen accurate in this whatsoever this bloody ginormous as well well as my eyes got rid of his lightsaber need of this bloody blunderbuss by stagehands cannon so we should point out the points of articulation are I think they're supposed to be a cup join bhisma like a ball joint probably the way that's going solders and waste and no leg movement whatsoever the fun you'll have trying to work out who the [ __ ] about is anyway you go over there Luke because now you're dreaded nemesis is coming in and not Darth Vader the other one dared enter spectate hell's goofy pod just give us so Elmer Fudd has taken control of the Empire he's so happy the fact they've drawn the eyes on properly for once actually really helps I think oh how lovely to say her you're a cup of sea there oh yeah don't worry about the Empire I'll keep good care of it for ya oh my god let's I don't know where to start with this just like this the amount of details got into the face and is all wrong that's it touches me he's also had some ink poured over him at some stage but before he added them who to his rows such a weird representation of this character one hand ready but what I said history looks like he's waving hello to his grandchildren I think it's supposed to be like the lightning shooter and he's nicked Luke's lightsaber for some reason cheery cheery ical Emperor happy yeah they have actually molded the legs in there you can't quite see them camerea I like they went to that trouble but not so much with the waist articulation yes it to be honest from the neck down he's pretty much a chocolate part yeah I don't know if this was on the original toy that it's based on but I really hope not her face the seat normally they're just absolutely grotesque there she just made him look really friendly I do love it now we're going to have to point out the base which is covered in filth direct from the factory these have been some of the most horrible to the touch lives that I think we've ever they're really we can't convey just how physically unpleasantly artists like the weakest smelliest platica grossest yet they feel properly disease but other than that lovely yeah let's bring on a third everybody likes obi-wan Kenobi but what about what my buddy Christ from Dogma which it's it's clearly more like the Buddy Christ statue than it is obi-wan Kenobi I don't understand it at all I love that they've not gone to the trouble of painting is beard either I like the idea that only one can O be bleached his facial hair to remain inconspicuous and tattooing maybe it's like Cesar Romero in the 60s Batman just prefers to shave it for later so just paid it over it's as far I know the Empire may find me but it took me 20 bloody years to grab this they're gonna be buggered if I taking it off it's the pose that makes isn't it it really is can we put that yeah no but I wasn't really good a hundred favorite again the giant handgun that he comes with Han Solo's Mauser pistol that has he have been I mean I love the fact that you make such a point about how much he hates yet he it's for more civilized age back in our time we just pointed two fingers and went pew pew and they fell over and pretended to be dead allow me to demonstrate it's a strange war the clothes if there's a very sexual connotation to it as well I'm refusing to mention anywhere shape or form let's just put him away never think of him again as we bring in the wisest goblin in all the cosmos Yoda everyone's so when 900 years old you get as sassy as this you will become snow twice going on this legs it's like okay can we just yeah I this one doesn't move because the palate was fused thing to get moving though I get his early rooms to shift but they they just done well I'm just go on record as saying the face other than the weird disease spots on it is actually quite good well in the sense that is passable I think yeah it's also all these figures so far they've painted the eyes on very well and by saying this I'm completely skirting around the fact he's wearing a salmon pink dressing-gown Lebowski or something he's got a giant axe for some reason and all the horrible probably toxic paint is flaking off into my likeness as respected yeah and he's uh it's not nice it's not nice to what time it is a diseased figure it absolutely is now I think we've managed to work out where the axe comes from as well um yeah it's from and here is a nerdy reference for all you guys at home it's a 1996 shadows of the Empire - backer dressed as smoother the Bounty Hunter I think your run they've just missed off the slightly more detailed parts because they're molding process seems to involve throwing plastic at wall and hoping some of it comes off looking like in Star Wars figure yeah oh my god well yeah I really want to touch this famous classic looks like you can get into his hand on his head hang oh no it's Oh the carnot hey area Elmer Fudd has been out hunting Yoder's Charlie made friends instead I sound weird will you say that here comes Padme drunk bet that is an amazing you know pose she's got going on there but it's yeah there's kind of a bit of a problem going on with her paints and the molding and she's quite obviously melting like right like this flap of skin like him that's his name from rubber email yes yeah when he's melting me man me yeah this is what's happened going to fight with Robocop got a load of acid on her and this is what it ends up as tentative ending to a revenge that this was really deaf it's a lot more fun no do you have any theories as to why the hell she's brandishing some twit of a robot her customary wrench its signature weapon all all Queen's of Naboo are required to be proficient in wrench fighting hmm pipe wrench fight there we are there's a reference oh my god the face is far worse that I realized earlier and I think you'll comment about them managing and paint the faces straight on this doesn't exactly hold but it was going well until melting Padme they may you go back there and catch diseases off smiley elmer fudd Palpatine which again is not a phrase Oh forever using it much and I'm going to bring this word on because I don't want anybody else to have to touch it it's the most disgusting things write this Vader it's not a bad Vader I mean you know the face is good enough shall we say a bit of detail very dark see can pick it up in the camera the sort of weird fleshy lightsaber made out of somebody's diseased umbilical cord or something it's a bit of a problem it's the Cape not the mold run round his legs but this bloody thing look at it it's like somebody's blown their nose yeah we did speculate as to whether it was a used bandage said it up this is really is really manky I don't know if we can convey just a make this I'm just it's also Batman I thought it was just torn at the bottom I think it is actually a Batman cape that that hybrid that God is kind of elastic as I think it's over layer of tights is it a bloody pair of tights my goodness cueing oh I'm gonna sniff it like I'm gonna sniff the Cape why I need to know oh oh oh Majan smell that bad actually I think it is actually clean it's just due to the way it's been packaged it's come off as just some filthy rag they sterilized after I came out the hospital stinky dishcloth Vader more does any child wonders collection we should also point out that none of his like joints really hold together like that arm is entirely removable that's fine that were oh that's that's that's the action feature yeah yeah you weren't kidding I just literally moved and it flew off just like in the movie gonna move this around the front pretend he's a really filthy butcher oh my god right you can go over there take your filthy bloody stand with you whoever got next to the agenda of utter [ __ ] horror got our oh my god do I have to Alec I have to write c-3po they ran out of gold paint so they painted him with babies diarrhea I think that color is Halloway shielding his eyes we can't see his own reflection you just want to see what a monster he is it's what's the deal with the umbilical cord airway SM this one is is a particularly nasty one to hold as well yeah texturally is really grim and it's got a lot on it I'm quite a guy are comfortable with with a bedroom with this cuz it's not very it's it's also slightly too small I feel I don't know what that is I should point out that we've got the actual figure is based on here I took the liberty of picking up a couple of these just for comparisons and yeah yeah mmm yeah mm-hmm so that's that's obviously in episode one no episode tumors or episodes every episode episode seven isn't how kind seven with the arm of course my god I've got everything confused in my head hmm did they release a rebels version as well yeah this is just a repaint of that ah Hasbro been a bit cheeky there is giant cartoon eyes though that's kind of running with the droids cartoon they meant to they're meant to endear him to you to give this poor this poor sick droid a home not not not just for Christmas but you never for never but never look at it's in these bits fused together okay bingo wings yeah he's just oh my god I um there's a lot of umbilical cord stuff going on with this and do you think it's viral marketing for death stranding or something invader will control environment here we go then you go again you stay there me everything will be fine once you've been melted oh and by the way he came with this gun she cannot possibly hold so thanks guys ah now it's everybody's favorite dusty bin robot good old r2d2 but with added neck because he's always sticking his neck out for the rebels this that's I don't understand half half a head as well there's any pain it happens oh yeah like half along a vertical set that's really strange and my problem with this other than the fact exists is that I thought the top just had been pushed on properties you can see there's a rim but no they changed the design and it's a solid piece of bloody plastic so is Nick based r2d2 yeah you carry some great accessories that are really useful and appropriate oh we ever get a stand where my oh there's no me hole so can't use the stand brilliant and heads this yeah which is a hammerheads gun isn't it from the old power of the force line yep so right yeah as you know it's just yeah there we are ready to go into battle as often he does can we see the original forget you can indeed and again as you can see they've knocked it out the park with see I didn't think it was that bad shall we put it by that she's the real one whichever your heart wants it to be Oh God go on where's Bob the Fett everybody's favorite yeah he's got a serious ankle problem his feet and ankles absolutely tiny yeah young sort of scales down as he goes down Boba Fett's been skipping leg day also no guns despite the fact he has two hands that could actually hold them well where the jet pack like that why would you why did you need them well it's at least banks of the paint they put these on the right way around this time because then the last one we did they were upside down just to propel him into the ground Hillary oh yes jeez it's a tunneling device yeah the stairs I mean the moldings not too bad the paint's a bit shy and the overall color of its off isn't it I think when you look at it in comparison to the original one though that's really when you start to see that oh it really isn't Lucas there's a reason that one constants what what were their best they're often two packs those on it yeah they I think it was at about ten pounds for the two and that's a fiver and this is like to Phenix I just I love the this weird like 80s bathroom plastic is my grandmother had a bathroom yes with them molded accessories that look like that planted chances are your elderly relatives have a toilet that is made out of the same material as this brother thing and no not do the joke there that's best and very rude right let's get the last one in it says art good old stormy stormy the trooper in an original style with his baton or unpainted lightsaber as I think we can more accurately call it it can certainly dish out space justice one of those bad boys rebels I think of the lot this is I mean it's not sort of mobile okay that did not sell very well well do we have an original for comparison preferably with less I think musically this original one is like really high on it my god this is an official one and that's terrible I actually prefer the helmet on the false way I don't know that that is pretty ropey in itself but yeah the eyes are terrible on the actual one my god say over there you you have been disgraced I think we should break all of these half at half in the waist and to reattach them into hideous over this one doesn't come off well there's you know I do that fader come on Denise I'm touching it again de roster bits of paint a flight gig off all over your sofa it's why we did it in the office the one at home can cope with it now that that kind of works and there we are added play value now they're mushrooms oh my goodness well and certainly the highlight for me and partially Buddy Christ here that was amusing but yeah I mean we know Kevin Smith was a fan of Star Wars but Craig but yeah it's old Jolly jolly Palpatine every Jedi is now a good friend of execute order 66 give everyone a cake a nice cake subscribe for more you you that is the jolliest pet desktop background you will ever have

Channel: ashens

Views: 596,331

Rating: 4.9492502 out of 5

Keywords: bootleg, fake, action figures, knock-off, rip-off, ashens, review, funny, alec, star wars, boba fett, darth vader, r2-d2, ugly, star, wars, luke skywalker, star wars (film series), toys, a new hope, phantom menace, rogue one, figures, figure, hasbro

Id: px_wgohqYBM

Length: 19min 7sec (1147 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 10 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/killersteak]

I want that Palpatine on my shelf.

Also this.

[u/Mentski]

Obi Wan looks like Greg Evigan circa "My Two Dads".

[u/[deleted]]

star war episo pe f, starring christopher mintz-plasse, rowan atkinson, arnold schwarzenegger and a tiny mr man from boohbah

[u/[deleted]]

I was thinking the emperor looked more like Mr. Magoo than Elmer Fudd.

[u/TheMadPrompter]

We need an Emperor Palpatat flair.

[u/anoddfrenchcanadian]

that boba fett looks like its made of glow in the dark silly putty