Weirdest Star Wars Figures | Ashens

[Music] hello Alec hello Stuart time for Star Wars again and this time we're gonna look at some specific problems the action figure line has had since the 1990s with an example for each Hey and what more could you ask for but probably quite a lot we're gonna get going anyway yeah right let us begin with what I like to call conceptual problems did anybody really need Holiday Edition Darth Vader I so festive so god damn pastor some might say a little bit too festive remember that bit in the movie where he wore all shiny red to celebrate Christmas or life day oh no he's gonna be life day isn't it yeah that's the stove wasn't wasn't the empire try to stamp out life they die a bud yeah so was George Lucas obviously no this oh they're so yes bright shiny red Vader the Rudolph's nose of Darth Vader's Holiday Edition another yeah just in case you didn't know they've actually written on there but the thing I don't get with this is it it's a Christmas ornament but it's also an action figure yeah and there's cents in it being one thing and they're sensitive being the other thing but it can't be a Christmas ornament that is also an action figure it's trying its hardest it's failing it's all it is literally just another sculpt of a Vader figure they've been different plastic or a painted red with none of the details in it it's a very is a very strange thing it came with a Christmas card of Darth Vader like making stormtrooper snowmen if I remember what's dressed in this and a little thing saying every year on whatever life day or whatever he would dress up in his red armor to in spire the troops and to defect there are very Christian Empire yeah it's a weird thing they had like a to c-3po with like a bobble hat on but that was actually a Star Wars thing because that was of the artwork for the John Williams Star Wars Christmas correctly and the r2d2 with the antlers yeah I think the de Yoda in a hat as well see these I mind less because they have some obscure Star Wars tradition this is just silly plus you can imagine c-3po or r2d2 or even Yoda perhaps being slightly jolly occasionally Vader dressing up in crazy colored candy like tangerine streamlined picture show garb is not really working for me can you imagine if as a child somebody gave you this [ __ ] on Christmas can you imagine bill I hope I got star wars figures for Christmas oh oh it's best if Vader all of my favorite bits in the Star Wars were with festive Vader I wonder how long it would be before all the sort of spangly metallic effects scrapes off as well yeah so really coming up - oh [ __ ] it's like a kind of gray color underneath I think oh my goodness oh yeah I mean it's fully articulated it's a thing it's the only Christmas decoration I own I think as well dear right onto another problem what's next let's go with crazy action oh god oh god right do you want to go prequel or sequel or let's go prequel first that's challenging right so this is crazy action features and also crazy sculpts as a result of the action features look everyone it's it's something it's dancing is what it is vogue so yeah it's supposed to be Padme Amidala from Attack of the Clones when she gets a midriff scarred by a big cat thing she's got very thin head these days she looks like it's sort of evil schoolteacher from a Victorian novel in fact there's something is study worrying going on with his hand I can't Ricci what's happening there and I suppose the idea is that she's shooting to this yeah I think the figure originally came with a girl that that looks like high-quality yeah don't worry everything's fine looks like she's wearing a nappy because it's a different color to the trousers yeah I think this might have yellowed a bit since the halcyon days of 2002 so what was this supposed to do she's got like a spring in her ah there was a that wasn't it that I think has fallen off of it and oh yeah some kind of quick-draw action where you could press the button and she could point a gun in a way that her face wasn't looking so that she could shoot it in accurately at [ __ ] why do her legs and arms affect the whole body looked like it's made of broom handles these are all very good questions and I do not have an answer for any of them it's appalling I mean I don't know why they've got such a thin head sculptures to keep him for the rest of the body maybe but um so it's just basically the worst action feature you can think of that makes no sense there's completely destroyed the sculpture the figure as well the thing that's frustrating about this is that you cannot do anything with this figure other than have it in this specific pose so you can't put this in a valise such a great pose yeah but the pose is nothing because the pose does not look like it isn't anything pose at all it's just piece of [ __ ] well maybe I know got a space nappy well if you thought that one was bad you were right but we have something slightly worse and my slightly I mean considerably get a try to settle this oh god right let's put the background in first and then we'll go from there okay oh my god right so look it's a collapsed balcony that's there we are now let's fit the figure onto it oh boy here we go go on Luke you can do it oh no we don't want this thing anymore and he's angry at his dad and his swiping down at him great for it yet so yeah the only reason this isn't flying out of his hand it does have a fairly good magnet the magnet has come out oh my god that's no good I was gonna say as good a neodymium magnet so it sticks to his hand probably but earth bro gonna put the magnet down there for time being so let's just have a look at Luke's face there he is an angry teen or possibly an angry chipmunk with no parent it's very hard to tell this is from that very specific scene Return of the Jedi where he loses his share Darth Vader wind up is like what perhaps your sister will and then regrets instantly so he's permanently stuck in this ridiculous head angled down legs wide apart face is that mode we just look at the side of his arms what the hell is going on with this this round abnormality but oh you're saying he has abnormal arms are you nothing oh boy right people knew were these wrenches straightener losing Skywalker a man right this arm is inhumanly long and that one's longer he looks like dick Jones he's falling out the window and run burger Lord that is not incorrect what a shitty piece of [ __ ] so thank you [Music] coming for you so you can't do anything with this figure except the stupid waving and then it looks rubbish but try and do anything else and you end up with whatever the hell this is it's quite convincing zombie if you like if Star Wars all of these was ever a thing just repainted [ __ ] every time I look at this figure it gets worse I away permanently looking down as well it's the this is the Hangul this is absolute it's the most unjaded I look figured that they've ever made he has he's halfway between dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde and this one I think yeah that really is astonishing I am so what can he do without he's amazing lightsaber his hands you can practically try to scratch his own ass that's what you can do throwing a bag of flour at somebody god this is the new mode looks suspect right next you know the power a recent trend that we have seen oh yes what I'm going to term crap acessories oh god which is so these are unnecessarily crap massive accessories which form an integral part of the figure yeah brilliant okay right this one's gonna start off seeming like it's a normal Star Wars guy and then you're gonna realize once that crappy accessory comes in that it's anything but okay so here is a pretty reasonable fn-2187 yeah John boyega as Finn pew pew I will say his body armor looks suspiciously wide there's a reason for that do you want to see the reason I would love to does it come off does indeed oh yeah right okay so we can remove this for half dressed stormtrooper action war they were talking now we would have thought it would come off a bit yes so yeah he's literally I know none of the rest of it comes off no and you would have thought there's that iconic bit in Star Wars The Force awakens where he gets the blood-stained hand that smears his helmet yeah you would have thought that this bigger would have come with that wouldn't you because that would be the sensible thing they do do a figure with that they do this is not that figure oh dear oh bloody hell there you go doomed it looks it doesn't fit him properly no and it comes apart when you put it on and the helmet doesn't stick on and oh how is this even supposed to go is that this is crap so you know how there's that Joe's worse and I've got with bloody alarm the clips are off you know how they make that joke in the force awakens about how fin works in sanitation ah that's why he's got a minigun on his shoulder yeah that's that's it that is the poo minigun yeah for shooting poos have toilets yeah obviously even the face that's kind of can't be bothered this is so badly put together it's such a weird thing did it cost twice as much as a normal via this was [ __ ] off expensive for what it was they've stopped making these now can we oh god he's gone now cease waiting to take that off this conceivably looks like the guy who works in sanitation right there the filters yeah I'm intrigued by this nice we put his normal armor back on and it's even a slightly different color yeah it's just yeah that is Sanitation stormtrooper yeah in fact that is a urinal in the front Lord weirds we love some accessories but not those yeah go on what's next well this one kind of ticks two boxes because it comes with a crap seseri marvelous and it also has something fundamentally wrong with the figure oh right should we show the crap seseri phone yes let's see if the folks at home can guess what character it's supposed to be from the crap seseri did you do so if doom doom a jetpack and some kind of helmet a quite obviously it's gotta be a rebel pilot a little resistance look as in get a logo on it it's got the insignia yeah so it's gonna be our good friend Tom Selleck without a moustache I was thinking more Lovejoy Ian McShane yeah yeah both both work it's certainly not Oscar Isaac it might be Oscar Isaacs granddad it's the problem with this is this is a relatively new one and what they do now is they digitally scan the actors faces and that look great at a certain scale but once you scale them down what's going on here so this is basically overly detailed faces only sharp detail which when reduced down gives you this kind of slightly evil-looking man yeah it doesn't actually bear much resemblance to what the actor Oscar Isaac at all can I put a special helmet on you can try yeah go on sorry I'm freaking your figure here but you can see I've already oh yeah yeah there we are yeah yeah I don't think kids would have enough strength to do that with me the thing that frustrates me about this as well is this helmet here is actually a helmet that he wears in the film and would have been a perfectly good accessory were it no it doesn't come off this that doesn't come off of that this whole bit is a oh yeah it's glued on yeah oh Hasbro what you doing to us boys I'd also like to point out that it's so difficult to get on that I did manage to chip his head in the process of doing that which is what you want from yeah you'll figure which it's like five pounds extra because it came with this lump of crap yeah brilliant yeah right so from overly sharp facial features we're gonna go with vintage now it's overly soft we're gonna features do something that I think many people will consider heresy and say that there is a vintage Star Wars figure that is less than amazing but seriously [ __ ] this I don't this is I don't mind this figure you really hate this figure though right this is supposedly princess Lee in her Hoth fatigues what this actually is Stewart is somebody's mum who's come and pick them up from football practice we're in a [ __ ] July this is just makes you so angry I have no particular feelings this figure this is this is Royal Guard red ox right here [ __ ] ate this figure I don't like this was the only Princess Leia figure I had you poor bastard because it is just the thing is the features are so soft that it could be anyone male-female Jawa anything really [ __ ] high so you're thinking it's somebody's mum from the 1980s get to pick him up after school is a bit cold they might go too wimpy afterwards yeah [ __ ] well better Jesus Christ I honestly don't mind this figure i it's just so it does not much charm to it but I think that is the overly soft face I think it's weird because some of the some of the vintage figures are less detailed than this one like especially the first twelve like your original Lucan and Leia but I think they'd at least resemble or capture some spirit of the character and this one is so far away from that at just I don't understand it'll be alright take that figure put on your special flying armor Jesus Christ what are you about to do oh yeah alright we found it wow that looks pretty cool if somebody gave me that and I didn't know what was underneath it I'd be like this is right yes that's amazing well we've done something good today yeah no I think we should look at everybody's favorite character from Return of the Jedi oh yeah so the problem here is overly obscure character I mean they've done some background creatures over the years you know yak face and goodness knows what else I won't have you sullying the good name of yak face did spend 82 pounds on that on ebay back at the doll my god what's this proper nurse let Mariah yeah it's why do I know these things I step with stupid money as well don't have fun yeah anyway but everybody's favorite character is of course Yana devil Gargan which sounds like three different characters from Game of Thrones but is actually that dancer from Jabba's palace who has six breasts you like her so much that you've kept a mint on card I sent me on this scabby scary card that we found in dip Adams been in the place for a while I think faces or hand so long liquor they both look at the same person I liked how they run out of ideas for ham and lose by this point this is what we're doing windswept a headache in this one little beeper I want to see how amazing accessory there goes the retirement fund right there rink or possibly some copper piping I don't know she just come with a little knife doesn't she it for peeling potatoes it looks like for peeling space spuds Leah angle on it it's very well articulated it must be said yeah this is true so she can get her full range of dancing action from her broken ankle I've just produced there even though the toes of the bottom it seems kind of pointless is a big hole enough foots there's nothing to see the rest of it but and the knees get a bit interesting when you bend them as well she looks like she's flying flying the stabbed jabber in the face she's basically just a horse version of grop packs I don't really answer so this is one of those figures just for this must have been when the line was just collectors and no kids were buying it absolutely the funny thing is that they in 1983 they did produce a prototype for this video with a yes I've seen the figure it's got all the produce unpainted no arms yeah it's like venus de milo yet but with six boobs of course but and horrible matted hair but they didn't think it would sell then and then they made it in the late 2000s and it didn't sell there neither case in point you had I found this in debenhams which is a British department store for all of you yes an American folks out there and I think this cost about two pound thirty which is not a lot of money and looking through the view front of the face it looks terrifying realistic up-close they have done a good job a figure than precisely nobody would care a but that's the thing it's a really well-done figure it's got a very strange wrist our ticket of wrists waist articulation though of angles so she can so Lord did you just break her ponytail doing that she's Clive Barker movie nest Oh Deary me but if you think obscure characters who appear in the background for two seconds and nobody wants a bad how about characters who turned out to not be in the film at all presenting its constables ooh vo you know Constable's ooh vo remember how he did the thing with the thing when they were at that place that everybody was like yeah alright that was cool no I don't know it wasn't a piston film was no so the story behind this is that this character called constable zu vo when they started filming the force awakens was originally meant to have a pivotal role when they were on jakku but as the filming went on and drafts changed and everything else constable zu vo got written out but that was well after hasbro had gone into production making the action figure and making the action figure in the first wave of force awakens speakers for both the six-inch black series yeah and the three three-quarter so these have been lining shelves since then because ooh vo I think is in one frame in the extreme background is he oh yeah I got that's more that's one frame there's some device some people claim to have found him but I don't know where's wally of stop yeah oh my god it's a shame because it's a really good figure yeah it's a really good character design yeah but it's just not a thing and if you get the force awakens' visual dictionary he's got like an entire page dedicated to him so obviously he was gonna be a fairly major dude at some point but just got completely taken out of the film and there was that thing was like I don't you see him for a second doesn't kind of rend kill him and these were the Knights of Reds yeah no it's just somebody in a vaguely similar hat yeah that's how badly we wanted to see who this guy was but yeah what about the ultimate Pig warmer yes I mean kids always want things that look like what they've seen the film not something that wasn't in the film yeah you know it could be from any other range and still still beg warming right now if you go into a toy shop you will find a load of these I've seen these go for stupidly cheap at two pound fifty they still weren't shifting them poor constable zoovie oh if only had worn his holiday edition hat yeah he'd be flying off the shelves I'm pretty sure that we won't fit poe dameron silly helmet onto him though I'm looking at right know the scalpel has done it Bob's your uncle and now we can cover up some of Poe dameron's face with the helmet yeah that looks mostly movie-accurate hey that's something I'm still gonna stupid bed an advisor though he can't get rid of that I've cut a banana in front of mine they did do a Poe Dameron figure in the flight gate and they yeah they do he's he sees things here's something yeah Wow you could not tell the difference why is he looking through a banana at all times the paint is horrible they did actually do an okay Poe Dameron that came with the x-wing but you just had to spend fifty quid to get it no comment [Music] you [Music]

Channel: ashens

Views: 563,570

Keywords: star wars, star wars figures, werid, odd, worst, worst star wars figures, ashens, review, alec, funny, figures, action figures, toys, retro, star, wars, star wars (film series), star wars toys, darth vader, kenner, luke skywalker, stormtrooper, action figure, toy, vintage, starwars, figure

Id: os1-DKWjabg

Length: 25min 22sec (1522 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 30 2017