Spider-Man Special | Ashens

hello spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can like have eight legs and eight eyes oh wait no he doesn't bloody false advertising if you ask me anyway spider-man you know who he is he's got a brightly colored suit and he climbs up walls and makes crimes stop and things like that he's always my favorite superhero when I was a kid don't really know why and he probably wouldn't have been if I'd seen all the items in this video back then now the first thing we have it takes advantage of the most well-known feature of spider-man that is of course that spider-man is part of a Bo welcome to bow and arrows super shoot game high-speed amused funny and superior performance brilliant you can't argue with any of that um yeah it's a plastic bow and the front of it is in the shape of spider-man and there's some spider-man pictures on it all fairly simple until you actually look at good old Spidey here himself not only is he got weird tail attachments so small children can grip him and fire the suction cup arrows out here but there's something a little bit dubious about well I was gonna say about the placement of the arrows and yeah let's not even go there sister but actually the whole now turned it around the whole sculpt of the thing is absolutely monstrous he's got like this massive wide head and arm growing out of his giant breasts apparently yeah we're not even gonna mention that and he's got three legs one two three or one leg and one really thick lake in the background um yeah do you think Hawkeye from The Avengers has one of these I very much doubt it right I'm going to move swiftly on from that because that's freaking me out slightly and it's a gigantic spider-man set next so gigantic I'm gonna have to angle the camera up I think actually there we go well obviously this is a big load of cheap crap to sell off at bargain basement prices for people to give them mewling children who like spider-man to shut them up for five minutes right special for you of children design it will give you infinite pleasure somehow I'm very much doubt naked back that up in court so yeah this is spider-man 2 apparently based on and we've got some sort of shitty robotic looking action figure that's clearly something else we painted a crappy fake mobile phone a badge that says spider-man 2 super warrior some kind of mask and that I thought it was a DES at first but actually it seems to be some sort of folded up blanket or something that'll be quite interesting Hey and it comes with a carry handle so you can lift it to the bin easier now the box is falling to bits that's nice what is the blurb on the back he possesses phenomenal strength and lightning quick reflexes he box up walls of spins webs that are as strong as steel he experiences a tingling spider sense that warns him of impending though they're just copied that something I want weird badly translated stuff like special for you of children design never mind anyway and yeah this this is um safe for a big smiley face and a smaller smiley face and it will cause pac-man to choke on something okay I'm pleased that okay well actually I've noticed something quite impressive I remove these first if you look they've actually put a little spider-man logo in the backing of the plastic that's attention to detail you don't literally get from your soldier go on Spidey come on phony badge II come on masky well let's go through these items in order it's a really hard plastic spider-man mask flat Patel um no it's far too small it is for a child oh that's all right innit probably slowly cheese great their nose off but hey if we don't mind your child looking like a mutated freaky there's no problem with that mobile phone Oh spider-man 3 there we are they've upgraded it and must have had a new contracts come up or something yeah it doesn't do anything it's just like it - oh no oh batteries no God is always the same microchip and these things isn't it ok it's not usually a dog barking ok why won't it stop that's going over there right well that's all very spider-man you so far here's your badge oh good with a proper slightly rusty safety pin early in order to give your children tetanus marvellous spider-man 2 super warrior this is just reminded me of something absolutely around years ago um I just member sing a toy at a shop it was like a cheapy action figure of kinky can conquista door or something and it had written across the top supper warrior they'd managed a misspelled super and that always amused me trying to find all those nearby anyway that's irrelevant still worried spider-man's here to make everything relevant again with incredibly cheap plastic that's yeah literally just shatter into pieces at the slightest touch that's really amazing Oh God's got an LED in it ready oh no batteries nearly dere broken or I've just broken the insides or something yeah that's a real high quality stuff there thanks Spidey I'm sure dr. octopus will be terrified and he sees how you've collapsed into a pile of broken plastic at the slightest bloody yet hmm that is evidence of a Batman so yeah I think they've probably just been there painting this in all different colors there's probably Iron Man version somewhere full version that kind of thing you know what that bloody hell is this it's got a sort of slightly can't oh what a ruined already just taking the bloody sellotape off ah there's a weird sort of rubbery pad and stuff on some sort of mesh so what is the deal oh my god is a costume book it's just like a stupid vest or tie bad thing that you put over your child and they can pretend they're spider-man when for some reason spider-man is wearing this piece of well that's yeah weird and and it's that going to be like a black cape yes it is he's got his black Batman Cape for being spider-man I'm very confused right now well the mask was quite good there we are was about as charitable as I can humanly get well times the more action figures I reckon how about ultimate spider-man 4 yeah that's actually what they call this hopefully to cash in on a spider-man 3 movie that never happened because they rebooted collect them all well it seems like I already have because this contains 4 Spider men who are inexplicably led by bumblebee out of those transformers movies save the world new arrival well I can't really see why somebody would need for virtually identical spider-man figures in fact there are two of each looking they've just got different arms for the others your own spider army I don't know spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can like being four places at once and be told what to do by bumblebee doesn't make a whole lot of sense well it's nice pictures on the back save the world with this stolen artwork Oh God look at it's carnage there's some sort of really monstrous and bestial version of venom yeah morning choking hazard good Isla thought it right I have a feeling all of these are going to be remarkably similar they've all got this hold in the back for the LED button but no actual LED in the front interesting well good old Spidey here he is to save the day with his trolley pushing action ah excuse me well where's the fruit aisle I can't find it and yeah that's not gonna win the awards legs are slightly rubbery arms are slightly rubbery head is slightly rubbery really brittle plastic for the torso marvelous and look here's another one in case you lose that one and here's another one with slightly different arms and different articulation interestingly oh not very interesting articulation doesn't bend at the elbows so he most he stands here walking around like some sort of demented cowboy the screws in his arms brilliant Nick that from would have been some version of something that had a bit string through it or something I don't I still don't know and good old bumblebee you know Bundy whose leg is dropped off at the slightest touch really are looking into quality today on me bumblebee of course and the classic series used to be a Volkswagen Beetle but Volkswagen don't have anything to do with war or violence anymore or list it remind people of their history yeah look that one up for a bit of a scare and so now it's some sort of American car I don't know so can we turn into a car without it falling to pieces it seems unlikely and well that's gonna have to get out of this slide in right right we're getting somewhere I don't sure where we're going is worth getting to that's getting there there he's come around the back I've got ya this is remarkably unhealthy and surely that would have to bend all around there's not going to happen yes it is his leg is going to come off but go up yeah here we go if I snap that back in Patti how these are really sharp pieces as well any child would be bleeding profusely by this time I think I can't get that to fit in my little mind that really doesn't matter it goes up and there like that and wait for it and that'll do Pig that will do and yeah it's like a small broken toy car transforms into a broken robot yep that's not exactly the most sturdy of toys a lot sturdier than previous spider-man it must be said well you'll be pleased to hear the last thing we have on offer isn't some piece of that will fall to pieces immediately it is something from lexie book there lexy book of course her full name being Alexis book senior impact cyber arcade no compact cyber arcade yes in fact wouldn't make no sense and this is some sort of handheld game where they've shoehorned a couple of them crappy spider-man things on twit and are selling it as compact cyber arcane spectacular spider-man hooray and five way go spider-man and a hundred and fifteen included classics there's no English on this apart from there so we've got five spider-man games and 115 other games that's pretty good and it's not a bad unit I hope it was fairly cheap because d-pads a bit iffy and one of the buttons is here so that's definitely designed for small hands imagine having to play it like that and no that's not a screen shot that's a sticker so Lexi book spider-man take it away that's it it's broken the screen is permanently white the rest of it works unfortunately the screen is permanently white and it doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it it did work when I first got it and put batteries in for approximately 45 seconds there's all it worked for very disappointing spider-man spider-man disappoint children whenever he can and I've managed to play like 40 seconds of one game and it was a ripoff of one of those em sort of infinitely running iPhone games like cannibals that kind of thing but this spider-man you press one button slide or something another one to jump and he just kept running from left to right and then the screen went white and that's the end of that chapter very disappointing the one good thing we have and is broken as well so what we've learned today is that cheap spider-man merchandise breaks incredibly easily even when it's bumblebee oh well I'll leave you with this that somebody sent me very kindly yep they're so desperate for different spider-man action figures now they've made one of snowboarding spider-man look he's got his mask on and everything as he hasn't already got a mask oh yes he has I'm very confused B has made his own snowboard out of webbing or something what a clever man he is you go and sit over there take pride of place in the bin which I'm now going to throw you in

Channel: ashens

Views: 1,000,620

Keywords: Spider-Man, spiderman, peter parker, knock-off, bootleg, fake, toys, action figures, crappy, poor, broken, lexibook, ashens, review, funny

Id: HroCBkbgMow

Length: 13min 3sec (783 seconds)

Published: Mon May 20 2013