Blatant Lies Salespersons Tell

what is the most blatantly a salesperson has told you when trying to make a sale while shopping for a used car the salesman says the whole someone test drove this today and said they were coming back for it they really liked it get in the car and it doesn't turn over not even a little needed a whole new battery not exactly a sale but i called comcast to tell them i was switching to a gigabit service for a cheaper price the rep told me i should stick with them because they were more reliable and the competitor only advertises up to a gig so there's no guarantee it'll be faster i occasionally get semi-official looking mailings with a little plastic vial it presents itself as a company hired by the city to do water quality testing if you send it back they'll try and sell you a house water filter i filled it with cooking coconut oil the kind formulated to remain liquid at room temp which is quite clear when they came to discuss the results with me i asked if there was anything unusual in the test and they told me about how these specific mineral levels were elevated and i totally needed a water filter i would have gone the opposite direction and used distilled water not me but my mom one morning when i was still sleeping her iphone updated and was on the hello screen she doesn't know much about technology so she thought it was broken and brought it to the atnt store they told her it was broken and convinced her to get a new phone and start a new contract when i found out i was pee i turned her phone on and it worked we went back up there and i spoke to the manager and told him what happened he said we'd have to pay a restocking fee he didn't care at all and chalked it up to being just a misunderstanding we ended up filing a complaint with corporate to get it refunded i used to work at an atnt retail store not only was this type of shady sales behavior encouraged it was expected at one of our saturday morning meetings our store manager told us to get out there and show everyone how big your sales dong is i walked out soon after that this is as big as he's going to get said the lady at the animal shelter about a 20-pound puppy he's now 70 pounds and taking up half the couch i told my mother oh no boxers are really tame we brought her home within a week she was about six months old she had ran into a wooden door and chipped a tooth when looking at the plasma tvs this is a tv you want it's got the highest quality crt of anything in the store coma what once my dad and i were driving past a used trailer lot and we were surprised to see what looked like the beat up camper trailer we'd gotten rid of a while back we pulled into the lot and inspected the trailer by george it was our old trailer it had a few very identifiable scuffs and bruises including one wheel with mismatched screws and bolts after my dad and uncle jerry rigged it when the hubcap came loose from driving cross-country my dad and i were laughing about how funny it was that the old trailer had wound up here when the salesman approached us the salesman reiterated several times that this was a brand new trailer never been used some guy bought it and just kept it in his garage never used it at all pl said tell me more i'm dying of laughter already hurry the car is scheduled to be transferred to another dealer unless you put down a down payment correct response is which one then i can buy it from them a door-to-door salesman from an icep in the uk told me if i switched my adsl to them it would be way faster i asked how he knew what provider i had now and he said he didn't know who i was using he just knew his company was the fastest when i said it would be the same copper going to the same exchange and asked how they could provide a higher speed he got pretty aggressive he really didn't do any homework for that job we can provide you with the fastest internet around but you don't cover this area the only supply here is bt frick off i guarantee you will not get into debt with this credit card i tried to explain that debt is the integral function of the card he didn't get it ask him to give you that in writing with the stipulation that it trumps anything the contract might say to contradict it someone tried to sell me some expensive or a gold facial cleanser which apparently contains gold particles which penetrate the skin and cause changes to the electrons in the skin making it brighter he looked visibly panicked when i told him i was working on a degree in biochemistry bear in mind these were visible for legs not even nanoparticles or anything of the like which might have been slightly more plausible it was pure snake oil he also demonstrated the products exfoliating power on the back of my hand which appeared to slough off a load of skin and leave it very soft turns out it just had a pva glue sort of stuff in it causing the cleanser to peel and accumulate resembling dead skin plain old glycerine made the skin feel soft such trickery i'm sure other people would have fallen for it that fake dead skin is a genius idea about six years ago i was shopping for a new bed at a furniture store the salesman was trying to show me one of the more expensive mattresses they had it was a nice mattress though but his sales pitch really annoyed me him it comes with a 10-year guarantee me wow so if it loses springiness or tears or something i can bring it back for a refund or store credit or what tim if it fails within the first 30 days sure we have a 30-day return policy me then what's the 10-year guarantee him we guarantee that it will last 10 years me but if it fails sooner there's nothing you'll do him it won't because we guarantee it'll last 10 years we have a 10 year guarantee me do you have a brochure to describe your guarantee policy in writing him it isn't a policy we guarantee it me okay thanks for your time i'll pass so what you're saying is it has a 30-day guarantee yeah but it's a 10-year 30-day guarantee no frick you that's not how it works bought a washing machine the assistant was easily 17 or 18 wearing a badge saying i'm in training and tried to get me to buy insurance with a grim warning that his washing machine danced across the room until fixed he didn't know to remove the restraining bolts at the back sales people that use this product actually sucks as an upsell method are the crystal burgers of humans got in a car with screeching grinding brakes to test drive it drove maybe a mile or two and it did this the whole time came back told the salesperson all cars do that especially when you first start them me it did it for the whole drive these brakes need replacing him you don't know what you're talking about i turned around and left at a market in mexico me what is this made out of wool salesperson yes of course me because i'm allergic to wool salesperson it's not wool salesperson this is carved out of real elephant task that is why it's so expensive me that's terrible poor elephant sales person just kidding it's just hard plastic point one zero dollar and it's yours if you get the gold plated cables they will protect your tv from getting viruses i had a guy sit down across from me once at a starbucks seemed like a nice enough dude so i didn't care he then pulls out his backpack full of products one of which was some kind of energy drink he told me i should buy it because the scientists that created it had figured out a way to infuse a second oxygen atom into an h2o molecule thereby giving your body more oxygen when you drink it and making you better at sports or something so i was like they created hydrogen peroxide wow cool man can't wait to try that two guys walk into a bar the first guy orders a pint of h2o the second guy says i'll have a pint of h2o too he drinks it and dies a salesperson was telling my mum and me about a gin that has a wonderful infusion of lemongrass and peppercorn which we then sampled and said it's nice but i can't taste the lemongrass or for that matter the peppercorn salesperson said oh yeah don't worry about that the flavors are meant to be hidden literally what is the point of it then i wonder if he's the same guy that came up with the pg tips tagline you can almost taste the difference several years ago i went to gamestop to buy a ds game mario versus donkey kong 2. if you're wondering and while he's in the process of ringing me up he starts the whole would you like to pre-order so and so i can't remember what game it was question mark pitch i tell him no thanks and i just like my game and i'll be on my way but then he says something absolutely ridiculous well i'm sure you're going to want that game since it's the hottest new title coming out this year and you'll definitely want to pre-order it see the us government is cracking down on video games and starting in a few weeks if you don't pre-order your games you won't be able to buy them because we won't be allowed to sell them off the shelves i laughed at him and walked out that's a lie that would get my grandma we were looking for a new stove wandering around the store my wife saw this beautiful ugga stove about eight thousand dollars we were looking at it because it was so cool looking sales guy starts pushing it on us and my wife replies that it won't work at our house because we don't have natural gas sales guy then tells my my wife in the most condescending tone ever that everybody has gas at their house mom we live in the middle of nowhere we do not have gas available the guy continued to argue with my wife until i confirmed what she said we bought our new stove somewhere else no gas here either and never will be insufficient population density to make it worthwhile for the gas company i used to go to this tire shop in the rundown part of town because they had the best prices on good tires so i call ahead and ask how much for a set of tires in the size i needed 200 great i'll be right down i get there and meet one of their workers and tell him i need a set of tires in my size he looks at me and says four hundred dollars so i say dude i called ahead they are two hundred dollars he then takes a short walk around the shop in full view he's not talking to anyone he's not looking at prices he just does a circuit around the shop when he gets back to me he says yep you're right 200 while i did buy the tires i didn't go back a guy was trying to get me to sign his petition for gmo labeling in my college town i asked him what he defined as gmo and he started off with well it's when you split an atom from one thing well gmos are an explosive issue right now live in southern california so most of the yards are brown and dying guys drive around town selling bags of fertilizer to make your lawn green again they showed up at my house one day and tried to shame me to buy some my dad worked for a local city nearby in the parks department for 39 years let's just say he taught me some lawn care tips and treatment so i just let the guy talk for a while i finally bust out and tell him to tell me what's in the fertilizer and how to apply he kept talking nonsense i get tired and ask him what percent of nitrogen phosphorus and potassium are in the fertilizer he tells me with a straight face it doesn't matter and i should listen to him i tell him look all you're carrying is sewn soil mixed with manure and grass seeds he looks pee and walks away cursing in spanish my neighbors across the street don't like them i see him spend 100 bucks on what he could have paid no more than 25 at the home depot no bulls literally general rule of thumb never buy from someone who is knocking at your door to sell mom had a vacuum cleaner salesman at our house he claimed that the bag could hold twice as much as any other vacuum cleaner its size without having to change it so he dumped a container of debris all over the living room floor and proceeded to suck it up except the hose got jammed because the bag overfilled and pushed the dirt backwards so he connected the hose to the exhaust on the machine to clear the blockage and it blew the entire load all over mom's very clean furniture and rug it went everywhere and so did he mom ushered him right out of the house before he could demonstrate yet another empty promise about the machine's features he's not the first guide to knock on your mom's door and end up blowing a load all over her rug i was invited out to a job interview one time the first part of it was an orientation in a rented warehouse district office where they spent the first half an hour or more explaining with the slideshow how they were not a pyramid scheme and what they were doing was totally legal yup thanks bye don't call me again i was waiting tables when i was in college and i just so happened to wait on an army recruiter he told me that nothing would make my dad more proud of me than if i joined the army nothing against anyone that goes into the army but my dad was drafted i was finishing up a finance degree and i had a job lined up nothing would have pee him off more than if i joined the army i once asked a car salesman if the car i just test drove came with a warranty he picked up the phone on his desk pushed some buttons and said hey does that one come with a warranty okay cool thanks he then hung up turned to me and said yeah it comes with a warranty his phone was unplugged you should have asked to use his phone comma you save ten percent off your gas and ten percent off your electricity comma that's a saving of twenty percent i immediately laughed but they were apparently serious colon single female test driving a new car it's within my price range but otherwise i just don't care for the car during the test drive i mention that the car seems to be making a grinding sound whenever i make a right turn salesman says honey that's just a car warming up i swear to god even after saying that he thought he had a chance at selling me this car offered to let me take it home for the weekend chased me as i was pulling out of the lot in my old car never went back obviously a cable company called me six years ago trying to convince me to purchase more services besides basic internet i said i didn't need cable because i had access to netflix amazon tv and hulu through my internet service and that there wasn't anything on tv i wanted to watch that wasn't on those services the salesman said that no girls want to watch netflix and i would be alone and ruin all my future relationships unless i immediately upgraded my cable service i think about that conversation every time someone says netflix and chill dude that's just mean jesus that guy needs to get a life well i was literally told that my bill would be 90 for internet phone and tv with my current internet speed i only have internet now and it's 75 he was trying so hard to make this sale i said that i wanted the same internet speed and don't care about tv and phone he literally told me it's cheaper than what you pay now i said no it's not he argued with me about how it's cheaper as if i don't know how much i pay then he told me that the plan with tv ad phone would have internet speeds half the speed i have now i just told him i'm sorry that i can't be your sale but good luck man some salesmen get so desperate to hit their quotas or make commission they do dumb crap i was buying my first car at a dealership i didn't have much to spend i let the salesman know what i was looking for and he brought me over to this car it's never been in an accident before this thing will last you for a very long time i looked around the car to find the largest dent near the back left wheel well once i opened the hood to look at the engine bay i noticed that the frame was bent yeah never been in an accident my butt real estate agent on selling a house next to a wetland nature does a much better job taking care of mosquitoes than the city could as i smack mosquitoes biting me and he was not even lying denature really nurtures takes care of those mosquitoes letting them grow big and strong and in impressive numbers the ones you get in the city are usually smaller more shy and also much rarer creatures [Music] that ups couldn't ship the washing machine i ordered so they'd have to charge me 250 to ship it with a special service when i said i didn't want it anymore they asked for a moment then came back and said they'd throw in the special shipping for free the day of delivery it was dropped off by the ups guy bunch of scammers nice washing machine though it was probably ups freight which is kinda a separate deal that costs more because they deliver the big crap like washing machines the biggest thing regular up ships is stuff like generators and air conditioners i am buying a phone at t-mobile the salesperson asks if i want a case and said it would be wise to get one i said i would just buy it on amazon as it is always cheaper she says no we actually carry the same prices as amazon i knew this was bs and immediately looked up prices they were a fifth of the price i showed her my phone said it's a fifth of the price and she goes oh but there are only five left i looked at her and said how many phones do you think i am buying and clicked by on amazon gomestop was buying destiny right when it came out i know got to the cashier and they said it was digital only for 360 so i was just purchasing the code to download it i stopped and said i would just buy it on my xbox for the same price without involving the messtop she said well do you really want your credit card information with microsoft like that that is really not secure i don't trust microsoft with privacy stuff but i trust them with credit card info more than a game stop in a strip mall in bum [ __ ] new hampshire i get door-to-door salesmen knocking on my door trying to sell me home security systems pest control service lawn care service act they always try to build credibility by saying hey we were just working at your neighbor's house had some leftover x and wondered if you would like a good deal on it next time i'm going to step outside and say oh you're installing home security for my neighbor let's go talk to him and see how he likes it which neighbor is it my mom's phone was broken so we took it to the store they sent it in for repairs after a few weeks we go back and the store clerk says something along the lines your phone was deemed irreparable and since we no longer sell this model of phone we can't give you a new one however since you're still under warranty we'll give you this brand new phone this phone costs 400 euros so that's almost double of what you paid for your phone a few years back i was immediately skeptical and it just seemed sketchy that they'd give such an expensive phone for free i pulled up my phone and did some googling lo and behold cost something like 150 euros nearly a 100 euro less than what my mother's phone had cost i interrupt him because he was still talking to my overly excited mother about how amazing this phone was i told him to cut the crap and that the phone isn't nearly worth what he's claiming it to be he immediately acts defensive and instead of owning up to his eyes he tells me that it's the truth and i should look it up i told him i just fricking did and showed him my phone i asked him why he'd lie like that he didn't give me a real answer but some evasive sales excuse i told him i'm not unreasonable either he brings me and my mother an actual good solution to the problem at hand or his manager walked out of there with a p9 ascend light and a big freaking grin on my face back in 2007 my old pc died my parents decided to buy a new one so we walked into a futura shop we found a good system and decided to buy it the salesman tried to get us to buy microsoft one care but i declined because i used avg and at the time avg was still good he started spewing off some bullcrap about how you cannot trust any antivirus that is free because all they do is constantly download blank definition files i was like wtf are you talking about that's not how any of that worked but my mom who is computer illiterate believed him and spent 110 on microsoft one care that thing was a piece of crap it did hourly scans that slowed my system to a crawl which also could not disabled or delayed on top of that it's downloaded a brand new definition update every single day which was a big problem because we were on dial up at the time and those definition updates were 50 mb which took two three hours to download it was installed for all of two days told this story before some time ago took my car in for an oil change to the dealership i bought it from service guy comes to me and says they noticed during the change the treads on my tires were really worn so they were going to put some new ones on for me the thing is i had bought a new set that previous week and they were already on my wheels told him my tyres would not be touched or the bbb and my attorney would be called that afternoon no one said a word to me the entire time i paid my bill toyota saleswoman told me her husband died then 15 minutes later talked about driving to vegas with him that weekend i asked her if she remarried and she said no looked at me all confused then i saw the realization come over her face told her thanks but no thanks i don't like it when people are about death if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 90,820

Rating: 4.9236236 out of 5

Keywords: blatant lies, lies, lies we tell, salesperson, salesperson techniques, lies to make a sale, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: wHu_3rGfFbY

Length: 23min 15sec (1395 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 07 2021