Bill Burr & Nia Hilarious Argument Over Patrice O'Neal

all right so I got this hilarious argument one day like Patrice when he used to just get sick of white people would you know he just would stop coming down to the club for a little bit and then sometimes he would call me up and vent about white people no he would vent at me representing white people so one time I'm sitting at home just being white you know hanging out having a [ __ ] peanut butter and jelly sandwich phone [ __ ] rings I pick it up I'm like hello and he just goes bill he goes what what do white people do so he didn't say a lot like believe me he goes what what do you do [Laughter] I'm like pulled over by a cop like where is this coming from like what do you mean what what do you mean what do we do like what he's like what do you do like what do you bring to the table yeah he's like black people we do this we do that what do you guys do you're going that's hilarious like you say yeah but the thing about it is how did you answer him I [ __ ] answered him like I go what do you mean what do we do you just don't recognize our [ __ ] is mainstream it's it's like hiding in plain sight so you don't see it so you don't think that you don't think that there's any sort of culture or anything like what do we do oh the all the actually look at skateboarding okay they came from surfing you know when the [ __ ] waves weren't there and they see no skateboarding and totally evolved into what that is well stock car Polynesian people were doing stock car racing wait wait I'm not gonna sit here and have you try to tell me that white people didn't come up with anything I'm just [ __ ] do that all the [ __ ] time Eskimos invent ketchup shut up but I don't know skateboarding Polynesians came up with skateboarding I know but I saw the documentary it was Dogtown and sea boys in a [ __ ] empty swimming pool in Santa Monica but I thought skateboarding came from surfing the Polynesian people I don't know I could be wrong you thought what didn't surfing come from like indigenous people no no I'm talking about skateboarding I know but the skateboarding came from surfing it was sort of derived of that yes right so I'm saying but then surfing come from so you're saying white people don't get credit for skateboard say that I was just asking who came up with a thing that inspired skateboarding I'm just wondering I'm just wondering I'm not what I thought this was like literally then this becomes the argument with Patrice okay that came out of moonshining what is that basically the back during prohibition when alcohol was [ __ ] illegal right what you would do is if you were [ __ ] bringing illegal booze moonshine right you know across state uh lines and all that type of [ __ ] you wanted a fast car but you didn't want it to look fast so what you did was it looked like a stock car like a stock car you got from Detroit that just looks like a Chevy that looks like a Ford but underneath the [ __ ] Hood you soup the [ __ ] thing up and you were able to outrun the cops and the cops didn't have [ __ ] radios back then so these guys that did this [ __ ] all right would talk [ __ ] about my car is faster than your car no it isn't blah blah blah blah so they started racing and that started stock car racing that's a cultural [ __ ] thing okay so then it's on [ __ ] TV like so I started listing all of that [ __ ] it was actually going like he said I think one point he went he said good answer is what he said and I just I'm like [ __ ] you I'm not asking for your approval this whole [ __ ] conversation is Annoying It's not car racing like something that's very important to people like is it like a big deal because I know is somehow gonna go back to the [ __ ] blues like Beethoven heard the [ __ ] blues and the [ __ ] Irish music and all that like well if you actually the nas will be like well it all came from the pyramids and black people built those how would you know that how would you know that because you went to amrite.com and you [ __ ] read [ __ ] that said you guys did it like that is the dumbest [ __ ] like that whole [ __ ] credit thing is so [ __ ] stupid Egypt Africa so that's African so that's black people I know it isn't no they're not aren't they they're African yeah so that's my point yeah so so like when you see when you see an Egyptian guy right you think that guy looks like you I don't know I feel like some of them are really all right so I'm French German and Irish you're French so yeah I have a little bit French but I'm mostly German Irish let me finish oh so I'm a European so me and Italians yeah we're on the same [ __ ] page so Ferrari yeah that was us that was us pasty Freckle guys we did that [ __ ] give me a [ __ ] break no you guys invented like vodka and stuff like that well no no Irish Russians sorry sorry I don't know I don't know the history I didn't want to get into this [ __ ] debate it's more of a like a yeah German Irish whiskey um what's the other ones bourbon no is that an American thing yeah yeah Scotch is from Scotland bourbon's from Kentucky yeah whiskey was but Egypt is out now but now I think it was NASA's point is that was that a true thing Africa is a [ __ ] continent yeah it is not a race true it's a continent there you go so like can Irish people take credit for [ __ ] that happens in Romania because they're all European I feel like there's a reason why this is different but I don't know why so I'm not going to answer that question but I feel like can I [ __ ] have that written on a t-shirt like I feel like an Egyptian person I am African or would they say I am Egyptian they would probably say I am Egyptian yeah but I don't know enough about all I know is that all the [ __ ] is in Africa so if you met anybody over in Europe saying I'm European no they go in French I'm swish yeah swish I'm Swiss this is a this is actually this is like a toxic this always becomes a toxic conversation okay no I'm talking about you and me I'm just saying because I don't want to stir up everybody because it's very easy yeah it can go off the rails and it becomes this big [ __ ] race you're a [ __ ] racist and all this type of [ __ ] um resist the urge to read too much into those people uh I'm just so sorry I was for white people is what you were saying no no no I'm not saying wow you know what I hate about this conversation what I hate about this conversation say anything they can't come back that's true though if I say anything then all of a sudden it's it's this this and this there's a whole bunch of [ __ ] that I'm leaving off because I'll then become I'll be called a [ __ ] elitist okay what do we do we [ __ ] pretend to go the moon that's what we do the space shuttle that's the [ __ ] where you just see it on TV that's that's some [ __ ] that we did I mean that's that's kind of a cool no it's amazing I know the astronauts weren't rapping they didn't have their space suits hanging off their asses I know that the kids didn't want but the kids but the kids still wanted to do it you have to [ __ ] out of it it's crazy around with you I'm just I'm just getting your goat because I see you've wanted to LEAP out of your skin right now uh something right now I'm saying but like I [ __ ] hate when you do that what my brother used to do that do what you just say [ __ ] to get me going I'm being honest with you and I'm saying what I'm feeling don't just be sick you think I can't say some [ __ ] to get you going I know you can you do all the time I'm sorry I shouldn't have mocked stock car racing or any of that stuff that wasn't nice yeah the thing you know what the [ __ ] is one of the greatest things about stock car racing okay is what's going on the level of intellect in the pit versus across the racetrack sitting in the stands that's why I love going to car races and is that why people think they're elitist or something no because you got these guys like what the [ __ ] they have to do because it's so regulated now just to try to squeeze it and the [ __ ] hundredth of a hundredth of a second to try and win this [ __ ] race the the level of science physics and all that [ __ ] that's involved that these guys the [ __ ] Egghead [ __ ] that's going on in there and then right across the track it's just [ __ ] [Laughter] I don't know I I went to the Indianapolis 500. two years in a row I went to drag racing do you know in between races they pull the whole [ __ ] engine out and rebuild the whole goddamn thing in between races there's a whole team of guys why I don't know why because it matters that much everything has to be brand new okay like that cool song you guys made up right brand new everything sorry everything has to be [ __ ] brand because if it isn't if it isn't a brand new [ __ ] engine the amount of money that could cost you that Split Second it cost you was a different like six figures wait a minute wait a minute that's what they're doing when they stop and all the guys run over and they're like oh no no and drag and drag racing they're they're changing the engine I thought they were just like no no no no no no no no no tires and like wiping off the windshield no no no in that type of racing settlements it ain't one of those little air fresheners from the rear view mirror right um no no I'm talking about in Drag Racing you know those long skinny cars with the big [ __ ] uh tires then they got the parachute comes out in the back the engine sits behind the driver they finally figured out to do that after years of them trying to see around it why do they have a parachute though don't they have brakes they do but it's going 300 miles an hour oh so you need all the help yeah they don't have flaps to put it down and you can't reverse the engine like a plane I see and they're Landing faster than a [ __ ] 747 but it doesn't weigh as much but there's nothing that's all the [ __ ] physics okay and it's also probably if they stop quicker they don't have to [ __ ] make as big of a track and that saves the guy owns the track money all of this [ __ ] all of this [ __ ] nerdy Egghead [ __ ] all right okay so it's what white people do they get on a [ __ ] they get on they get on up they get on a dirt bike and they figure out how to go off a ramp and flip in the air two times over and they land in the foam and they figure out how to do that and then they try to land yeah they they we're we're bored we're [ __ ] bored white people need gangs again like if you notice like white people I thought we were going to get into all this in the 20s

Channel: Fans of Bill Burr

Views: 210,621

Keywords: bill burr, podcast, monday morning podcast, Fans of Bill Burr, patrice o'neal, nia

Id: nF8jCgHBacc

Length: 11min 41sec (701 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 19 2023