Beverly Hills Chihuahua - Nostalgia Critic

this episode brought to you by stamps.com why go to the store to get stamps when you can have them printed right at home for your convenience [Music] [Music] [Applause] go go [Applause] what do you guys do enjoying the day off man yeah there's no movie to review this week so we're kicking back enjoying the high life by playing beer pong of course not don't be ridiculous yeah you know what just got legalized in illinois so we are enjoying the high life [Music] you still have a movie to review what no we don't yeah that would imply we actually saw a movie this week you did did we that would mean we sat in one place for an hour and a half and watch something that left no impact on us whatsoever that's not very hard to believe all right look here mister you if we watch this phantom movie what was it called beverly hills chihuahua dude i swear he just said there's a movie called i did i think someone got started on the friendly parsley before we did it was a kids film from 2008. with the voices of drew barrymore and george lopez it wasn't on disney plus oh yeah yeah how do i remember what's not on there more than i remember what is jesus we saw that whole film and i don't even remember watching it wow i can't believe a movie left that little impression on us the charlie's angel's reboot of dog movies we live in a world where that's a sentence now well the movie's not going to review itself wait yeah you're right so get in that office and do your job you got it did we make it lousy pity film to get roger got no work hey who's looking after the rest of the stash [Music] [Applause] well it's difficult to accept that a film like this was greenlight got made and you possibly saw it without even remembering you did the hardest fact to wrap one's brain around is that this film was number one at the box office for two weeks straight yeah two weeks straight you mean people would rather watch this than uh uh all right maybe it's not that hard to believe to its credit it might have had one of the most insane trailers moviegoing audiences have seen in a while just look at this that's hideous tedious yes forgettable no a shame the trailer has almost nothing to do with the movie yeah you see this dog getting all the focus he's in maybe one third of the film you see this dog who doesn't even get a line in the trailer she's the main character this chihuahua temple and all these other dogs maybe about 10 minutes of the movie even the release date lied to you it came out in october it's no wonder this movie is so hard to remember even the poster forgets who the main character is was it him or her oh who cares nobody's gonna watch it anyway third one [Applause] apparently i did see this and i need to be shown again why it's so forgettable there's a whole lot of nothing to get through so let's not waste any time wasting our time this is the straight to dvd movie that drunkenly got a budget beverly hills chihuahua you don't need to try this hard you did see the title didn't you hell look who they got to direct it yes raja gosnell seems to be the guy you get when even the directors starving to death pass on a film and give him credit he is very good at making everybody in the film look immediately punchable hello willow as the credits roll we see jamie lee curtis and drew barrymore are finally in a film together but one of them's a dog this is chloe a spoiled chihuahua surrounded by other stuck-up [ __ ] it's not easy to find a mate with papers let alone one you could love have you ever seen an animal trying so hard to quietly signal euthanize me i'm serious all the dogs in this movie look miserable i give credit that the training is better than say cats and dogs where they constantly look distracted and they just slap talking lips on them but if you took those lips off here they all seem ready for a needle with anything in it they don't care whatever fade it gives them has to be better than this but the voice actors making banks say they're happy so they're happy bimini has a date with scooter he's crazier than a labradoodle hey talk to the paw and you thought cats was the first masterpiece to utilize pet puns jamie lee plays a famous cosmetic designer named viv who's also friends with her landscaper sam and his pet poppy hey in disney's oliver and company where cheech marin played a chihuahua remember how he was the only character kids remembered well we got a disney film we got cheech marin we got a chihuahua cast him as a mouse and get the guy from sharkboy and lava girl you are more lovely than the dawn you'll kill off aviva escala beer poppy constantly hits on chloe but she thinks she's too good for him because disney said i saw lady in the tram poster that's what it's about right and she quickly dismisses him grasshopper mikura son poppy that's so disgusting kids if you're wondering if that's the grasshopper from that charming silly symphonies cartoon i really want you to hate this movie so yes yes it is this niece named rachel drops by played by piper parabo you may remember her from coyote ugly i mean i don't but you might and big shock she's just as bratty as chloe wonderful bye is everything okay oh honey i don't know what i'm gonna do now sound editors when she opens that soda i want it to be the loudest opening of soda ever captured on film but why don't talk back to me i made home alone three fifth says she's going out of town and needs someone to look after chloe so naturally she gives the responsibility to someone who doesn't want to do it playdate [Music] looking for horribly dated music to put in that kid's film you shot on a weekend well we got your back but that's what i call [ __ ] volume 136 we have every overplayed nightmare that has been popular in ages from conga [Music] to walk this way not another single girl in the whole smurfing world from i like big blood i like big bucks and i cannot lie to the macarena [Music] oh and did i mention i'm too sexy for my [ __ ] like you even have to ashley what you're doing what is happening right now bye now that's what i call [ __ ] volume one three six because looking for current good music requires hard work and a soul whoa hello someone's buying every copy again thanks raja gosnell you're putting me through grad school [Music] rachel and chloe don't like each other as they see one another as spoiled rotten but poppy tries to lighten the mood if you ever need someone to lick inside your ear or chew the hard-to-reach places would be most honored these are just the lines georgia lopez uses on women papi duty calls we're surprisingly above not making a poop joke out of that for now rachel takes chloe to the border to party because everyone looks ready for a good time here but chloe doesn't like the place chloe escapes and is nabbed by some wrong doers who want to use her in a dog fighting ring what you're in the dog fights dog fights cause she really looks like a killer look out she might sneeze and your pitbull might get a cold before ripping her goddamn head off all right all right maybe they'll put her up against other chihuahuas i mean she doesn't look that strong but maybe there's a little fight in here they call me diablo it's certainly nice to meet you how the wormy [ __ ] does this work stop talking this is highly inappropriate i mean full disclosure i've never been to a dog fight i know i know i'm just not on top of what the kids are into nowadays but i'm assuming there's some betting going on wagering on who's gonna win what kind of betting odds are on this fight do they gamble on what color [ __ ] she's gonna be when she's digested through his organs maybe it's not a fight maybe it's just what they feed the dog before the real round begins chloe rachel eventually figures out chloe is gone thus her and her friends try getting help from the landscaper to help locate her i'm rachel's friend and um you're the gardener right i'm sam sam i am chloe's lost in mexico and rachel stay behind to find her he agrees to help while another dog named delgado voiced by andy garcia can't help but feel bad for chloe and tries to rescue her i'd give credit that this movie didn't use who let the dogs out during this sequence but should we really reward crimes we didn't commit the crime boss who runs the ring realizes chloe's color might mean she's worth something i am sure i locked those cages sir i want that q101 you know what cut away one second before he cracked saying that line and then broke into tears shouting what am i doing i left law school for this no really i am db and i left law school for this you broke me mouse you [ __ ] broke me anyway chloe find she's in mexico city and her new pal delgado filter in about her surroundings the day of the dead it's what humans do to honor their ancestors helps them remember who they are where they came from sorry coco beverly hills chihuahua has mexican culture down you just look embarrassing the criminal's dog named el diablo is sent to find chloe so delgado puts her in dirty water to get rid of the scent i stink i smell like a wet dog you are a wet dog money for rare talent only we can deliver please rachel gets a call from her aunt to see how chloe is doing hi i'm viv ciao rachel hey tell me did i get drunk and sign on to a dog film i'm barely in could i talk to her just a second i have no problem with actresses having kids but as mothers they must be forbidden from doing scenes like this in movies it's ruining their high school lives forever hey isn't that your mom no no that's her that other movie oh god even the film had to cut away from that scene it was so painful you can actually hear the soundtrack of the movie saying oh god stop oh that's that's a little better still bad but a little better chloe tries guinea to an upscale hotel she stayed up before but she's tossed out because everyone thinks she's just a stray dog yeah that's how dogs react when they see something shocking stand perfectly still with no movement and stare into the empty void here's how one reacts to a box of pizza dog a little in your dog movie rachel comes across pappy and sam at the same police station both reporting the same thing what are you doing here i mean k are you doing here k is you more racist than world war ii cartoon what should we do now we you go back to your hotel and wait what word makes a can not mexican brilliant word play have thou heard the rendition of jingle bells that doth suggest a caped crusader smelling i cannot believe chloe's missing this meanwhile we see chloe's friends are back at home having a fun time and the scene ends i have literally no idea why this was included in the film maybe it was to show off the effects can look worse than you thought maybe to display this cake representing the film pissing on your intelligence but i think we all know the real reason to play another horribly dated song [Applause] listen gosh nell you bought the cd you use every song on it we will break things you thought you couldn't break hello illumination is making another movie hello 401k [Applause] [Music] hey buddy why so glum i'm sad because i never follow through with any of my new year's resolutions well have you ever thought of me i never take control of my life at all i just keep going around this endless circle for some reason i keep punishing myself for and i don't know why i i i don't know what to do i need help well have you ever thought about stamps.com stamps she is silly you're talking to me about stamps yes let's face it most new year's resolutions are hard to keep get more exercise save more money well i have a resolution that's easy to keep stop wasting time going to the post office and use dance.com with stamps.com you can do anything you do at the post office right from your computer plus stamps.com gives you something you can't get at the post office big discounts on postage [Music] stamps.com brings all the services of the us postal service right to your computer 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the emptiest museum in the country as the outsmart el diablo not pleasing his owner there is a lot of money riding on this chihuahua they cannot find her before we do our dog fights are absurdly one-sided we need to make money on something chloe comes across a rand and an iguana played by cheech marin and his longtime comedic partner paul rodriguez who try to con her out of her diamond collar because rats can do a [ __ ] ton with jewelry they work on a luxury cruise ship do you think you could help me get home it's the very least i can do man the last time i saw a rodent steal riches from a sucker george lucas signed over star wars high five delgado and chloe sneak onto a train buenos dias make yourself at home [Music] that coyote sounds trustworthy he does nothing as pappy tries to get info from some straight dogs while sam and rachel's relationship grows just what we need stray dogs puppy was a straight line he inspires me every day i am of course inspired by stupid things but who knows maybe one day he'll be featured on the poster of something he is barely in the brad pit of inglorious bastards if you will must have been the pop rocks the rat and the iguana hide out in a store pinata and i think the symmetry speaks for itself [Music] remember that nameless drug you experimented with at that party aren't you glad this movie recreated what you saw that night the store owner finds the collar and drops it into his apron cleavage as chloe and delgado jump off a train and we're suddenly given this i told the local police i found a caller on a rat but they didn't believe me i went to turn the diamonds in and they tried to arrest me wow that's a lot of off-screen stuff that happened clearly all you needed was a tax crawl that says the dead speak and audiences would accept it fine haven't we passed this tree before no you can't smell can you well lost in the desert delgado finally reveals the truth that he has no sense of smell oh good i'm glad somebody may have passed the poster so they can at least deal appropriately what happened to you why can't you smell anything i shot a kid no no that's for the sequels i was blindsided my partner got hurt next day i woke up and couldn't smell a thing they say it's all in my head so he has selective smelling is that even possible for a dog let me look that up i am not dedicating that time to beverly hills chihuahua they're approached by mountain lions but a giant group of dogs rush in to save them yep only two-thirds done with the movie might as well work in the focal point of your trailer the aztec people left too long ago but we remain they heard disney was coming so they threw all their cute cuddly animals at them in exchange for survival they killed them anyway we chihuahuas are not toys or fashion accessories we were not bred to wear silly hats and write in purses we are marketing ploys for movies that confuse babies they tell her that every chihuahua has an inner bark that can send shivers down any enemy's spine [Music] you sound like my testicles last cry for help before i was neutered don't worry little kwan your bark will come when you need it most giving disney movies track record right now probably in an embarrassing third act meanwhile rachel finds a home for the stray dogs that came with them i guess this was her arc somebody's got a lady friend oh i have a home ugh i know you think that's cute but it looks like joker used smilex on dogs before trying human trials chloe is captured again by the criminals and is taken to another abandoned temple yeah i remember mexico being really laid back about their historical ruins oh there was one around the corner we weren't even looking for him the rest of our heroes make it to the ruins due to delgado getting his smell back but poppy gets captured so chloe has to distract them with her inner bark uh that's first degree [ __ ] right there something that small made a roar that big even the t-rex from jurassic park would be like gets the jump on diablo but chloe apparently got taken down wake up she's gone yeah that's right bambi lion king and beverly hills chihuahua where the big disney gambles and killing off a main character she reveals she's okay much to george lopez's indifferent performance chloe you're back you're back i mean i was kind of eyeing a cocker spaniel in the burbs we can work out an understanding right and everybody returns home with viv having no idea what happened how do you say what are you doing on friday night in spanish care for a we just found your pet dog in an aztec temple and defeated a mexican crime lloyd bang why do i get the feeling those are often in disney films as the credits roll weirdly making it look like the crew was the dogs on screen yeah with this movie who knows we're given one last odd bit of text before closing out tiny but mighty we're number one we're the real hot dogs yo hold the bars after the clownfish genocide of finding nemo we are taking no chances on this one so that was beverly hills chihuahua honestly i still have to remind myself i just saw it i guess in fairness compared to gosnell's other work it's not painfully bad it's toned down on the bad puns poop jokes and ugly camera work but that clearly doesn't make it anything good either it's just a forgettable bunch of nothing clearly meant for little kids to point and shout doggy while being distracted by 50 million other things entertaining them in the room i feel like it's not even worth getting that angry over it's just a pointless movie that i guess weirdly to its credit is very easy to forget i'm the nostalgia critic if you excuse me there's better things i have to do with my time hey where's the good stuff and also where's rob [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] we're the real hot dogs yo hold the bun hey doug walker here doing the charity shout out if you've been watching the news at all you probably know about the wildfires that have been spreading through australia uh this has been going on for weeks now and uh it's just consumed so much and done so much damage uh that's why this week we're doing the australian red cross uh anyone that knows the red cross knows they specialize in uh different emergencies and uh going out and helping people any way they can and uh this is the one that we're choosing to uh you know help people that have lost so much in these fires and uh you know also preventing this fire as best as possible so again you watch the news you know all the destruction that's caused so uh definitely check this site out uh see what you can give because so many people are in so much danger and have like i said just lost a great deal so definitely see whatever you can give can go a long way whether it's a little or a lot please definitely see uh what you have to offer because there's a lot of destruction going on right now so thank you so much and see you next time take care

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 646,848

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, beverly hills chihuahua, beverly hills chihuahua review, movie, film, bad movies, dog movies, movie review, film review, doug walker, worst movie ever, jamie lee curtis, drew barrymore, george lopez, nostalgic movies, review, tamara chambers, malcolm ray, beverly hills chihuahua movies, funny movie review, funny reviews

Id: asmlKIDJ-Mo

Length: 25min 20sec (1520 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 15 2020