- How about some girl on girl on girl? βͺ Yo, why don't you come
over here, Justina βͺ βͺ And battle with me βͺ βͺ 'Cause I got a vagina βͺ βͺ I'm not scared of you,
you're scared of me βͺ βͺ I got the balls to kick
you in your ovaries βͺ - Wow, okay. βͺ Okay, Julia, now I gotta eat you βͺ βͺ You got the swag of a biology teacher βͺ βͺ With a face like that you'll
never get a wedding ring βͺ βͺ I heard of a butter face,
but you a butter everything βͺ (audience exclaims) - God dang, girl. I ain't gonna lie, you up here looking like a sexy booger. (audience laughs) You know what, that's why I pick you. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Your word is systematic. - Systematic, all right, check me out. βͺ Listen, I don't do the politics βͺ βͺ I can't be diplomatic βͺ βͺ Lead the party, not
Republic and the Democratic βͺ βͺ 'Cause the way they treat my
people has been problematic βͺ βͺ Oppression of the Black
man, it was systematic βͺ (audience applauds) - Talk your ish. (audience applauds) - All right, your word is philanthropic. - Philanthropic? Philanthropic, goddamn, here we go. βͺ Thank you, Nick, you made me very rich βͺ βͺ Listen, on Bankhead βͺ (beep) come on with the pie, girl. (buzzer buzzes) (audience laughs) Philanthropic, man. (audience applauds) - Oh yeah, this my game. - Your word is ambidextrous. - Okay, all right. βͺ Hold on, I think I should mention this βͺ βͺ I got diabetes but
I ain't stressing it βͺ βͺ 'Cause that free pie
there, I'ma mess with it βͺ βͺ And I'ma eat it with
both hands, ambidextrous βͺ (audience applauds) Yeah! (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Okay, your word is persecute. - Persecute? - Persecute. βͺ All right, look, with
all of these words βͺ βͺ I can murk a group βͺ βͺ I like that you're wearing ladies βͺ βͺ Go on work them boots βͺ
βͺ And I can buy a new bag βͺ βͺ 'Cause you worth the loot βͺ βͺ I'll have your girlfriends like βͺ βͺ Oh, that persecute βͺ (audience applauds) What's up? (audience applauds) - Okay, your word is fortuitous. - Fortuitous? βͺ Yo, they love my teeth βͺ βͺ Nobody true as us βͺ βͺ Feed me girl, I need a stewardess βͺ βͺ What they gonna do with us βͺ βͺ I got a movie, dinner βͺ βͺ But she can't come, only for two of us βͺ (audience applauds) - [Nick] All right. (audience applauds) - Get off me. Get off me, I don't
trust y'all, get off me. - Your word is idiosyncratic. - Idiosyncratic. βͺ I'm trying to think like
I don't know this word βͺ βͺ I treat them like it's magic βͺ βͺ If you test me it's gonna be tragic βͺ βͺ Fiending crack like a crack addict βͺ βͺ I'm back at it, they
don't know me, my (beep) βͺ βͺ I'm idiosyncratic βͺ (audience applauds) - What's the word? - Your word is zenith. βͺ You the type of person that
talk (beep) then delete it βͺ βͺ I'm the type of (beep) to
talk (beep) then repeat it βͺ βͺ (beep) always hate me 'cause
their pocks is bulimic βͺ βͺ You gonna wanna see me then
you catch me on the zenith βͺ (audience applauds) - All right. (bell dinging)
(air horn) By the looks of the pie
y'all play too much. By the looks of the pie- - I'm knocking (beep) the (beep) out. (audience laughs) - It looks like the red squad
won, am I right or wrong? - No, the black squad won, make some noise for the black squad. (audience applauds) βͺ I'm in the galaxy, do I move slow βͺ βͺ My rocket taking off,
bitch, I got to go βͺ βͺ Helmet on my head, but I ain't in SWAT βͺ βͺ Your job a thot, my job is a- βͺ - Astronaut. - Yeah. (audience applauds) - Hold on, I got you. All right. βͺ Jang-A-Lang all up in your thing βͺ βͺ Now put the money on my waist βͺ βͺ All the girls gonna yell βͺ βͺ I work at a Chippindales βͺ βͺ And I love the big tippers βͺ βͺ I'ma- βͺ - Stripper. (audience applauds) - Okay, okay, okay, now listen. βͺ I'm the man on this bus βͺ βͺ I'm gonna give you some help βͺ βͺ I'll be like turn right,
uh uh, and turn left βͺ βͺ Now listen, I want you
to listen what I said βͺ βͺ I be like, look,
there go a big ass hat βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ I'm the man on the bus βͺ βͺ You ain't never been
out of town before βͺ βͺ I tell you everything
where you wanna go βͺ (buzzer buzzes) - She don't know. (audience applauds) - Yo, you ready?
- Yeah. βͺ Come and see me if you
wanna have some fun βͺ βͺ I recommend you hit,
'cause I ain't even 21 βͺ - Like a blackjack dealer? - Yeah, there we go, there we go. (audience applauds) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Y'all make some noise for her one time. (audience applauds) Y'all make some noise for Jade one time. (audience applauds) For the old school. We got this. Don't talk to her. We got this. - I got this, we got this. - [DJ D-Wrek] Old school, wild out. (audience applauds) βͺ Okay, bring me all your whips βͺ βͺ So I can soak it in the suds βͺ βͺ I clean up all the dirt βͺ
βͺ And I get off the bugs βͺ βͺ From the trunk to the
door and to the windshield βͺ βͺ I can't forget about your wheels βͺ - Carwash. (audience applauds) - There we go, let's go old
school, let's go, let's go. βͺ Okay, I'm like look little mama βͺ βͺ Your looks is off the Richter βͺ βͺ I guess I have to snap just
for you to get the picture βͺ βͺ Don't worry about the quality βͺ βͺ I got the best lights βͺ βͺ Suck it in, poke it out,
I'ma get your angles right βͺ - Photographer. - Let's go old school,
let's go old school. βͺ I'm not good at this game,
I'm the first to admit βͺ βͺ All I do is sit back and
make the worst decisions βͺ βͺ I deported everybody
and I'm still not tired βͺ βͺ Everybody wanna know
why I'm still not fired βͺ βͺ I got a hotel named after me, Trump βͺ - Obama? (audience exclaims) - I'll go, I'll go. βͺ I'm kind of like an undertaker βͺ βͺ You know I get it in βͺ βͺ All I need is a shovel
and a bitch named Eminem βͺ (audience exclaims) - A shovel? βͺ Leave them all dead, they
don't know what to do βͺ βͺ I'm kind of in the funeral
and then I come through βͺ - Funeral? - I just said funeral. (buzzer buzzes) (audience laughs) A grave digger! (bell ringing)
(air horn) (audience applauds) Dammit! She was just nervous. Y'all make some noise for Jade one time. (audience applauds) DJ D-Wrek, who won? - New school won that one, make some noise for the new school. (audience applauds) New school, wild out. βͺ Okay, look picture this,
you at the house chilling βͺ βͺ Uh huh, now here come a villain βͺ βͺ And you like, oh, don't push me βͺ βͺ And I step in like ma'am,
I'll save that (beep) βͺ (audience laughs) - A police officer? - A police officer, hell nah! (audience applauds) βͺ We talking flow jobs,
well I ain't go no job βͺ βͺ Joc, that's a nice chain βͺ βͺ You the first (beep) I'm gonna rob βͺ βͺ Nah, I'm playing, (beep) I might βͺ βͺ If I really was good at this
βͺ βͺ I'd steal some height βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Steal some height,
I'm short, I need it βͺ βͺ I'ma steal it, I'ma take it βͺ - Oh, a robber? - Exactly. (audience applauds) - Okay, okay, okay. βͺ I'm standing on stage
behind Mariah and J-Lo βͺ βͺ I help them out with
their high and low notes βͺ βͺ And if you still do not know βͺ βͺ My best lyric to date
has been do do do, oh βͺ - Backup singer? - Yeah! (audience applauds) βͺ In the mirror I can rip it up βͺ βͺ On stage I can pick it up βͺ βͺ And I can twerk it like a thot βͺ βͺ But did you catch this robot βͺ - A choreographer? - Yeah. (audience applauds) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - All right, good job. Y'all make some noise for Amber. (audience applauds) Y'all make some noise for Taylor one time. Give it up for her. (audience applauds) I think we got this. We gonna speed it up. - Old school, wild out. βͺ Clap your hands, y'all βͺ βͺ You want your license,
you need me in there βͺ βͺ If you take me for a ride,
you better do the speed limit βͺ βͺ But watch out for the cops
'cause the hate the worst βͺ βͺ And make sure you strap up,
you know, safety's first βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ I'm a thinker βͺ βͺ You make a right, you
better use your blinker βͺ (buzzer buzzes) (audience laughs) - [Nick] Get it, Joc. - Okay, okay. βͺ My job don't take no thinking, yo βͺ βͺ I have you like (mumbles) βͺ βͺ Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in βͺ - Yoga instructor? (audience applauds) βͺ Your face look dumb,
your hair look fuzzy βͺ βͺ Your makeup uneven
and your outfit's ugly βͺ βͺ See talking down to you
make me feel greater βͺ βͺ I don't need to get a job
'cause I'm a full time- βͺ - Hater. - Exactly. (audience applauds) - We ain't got that much time. βͺ It rhymes with hog brainer βͺ βͺ It rhymes with hog brainer βͺ Hog brainer. (buzzer buzzes) Bitch, look, dog trainer. (audience laughs) - All right, black squad, wild out. βͺ I take your credit cards βͺ βͺ And your social too βͺ βͺ I'm spending all your money on me βͺ βͺ But the bank think it's you βͺ - A scammer? - There you go. (audience applauds) βͺ I be in your house, but not at night βͺ βͺ See something you
like, 'cause I lay pipe βͺ βͺ Bathroom tub makes it a bathroom sink βͺ βͺ And if my crack hanging out βͺ βͺ I hope my ass don't stink βͺ
- A plumber. (audience applauds) βͺ Excuse ma'am, did you order some food βͺ βͺ From across the street βͺ βͺ Because this is the address βͺ βͺ And the place that
they told me to meet βͺ βͺ So before I dip, can you give me a tip βͺ βͺ Hey, before I dip,
can you give me a tip βͺ - Pizza man?
- Yeah, there you go. (audience applauds) βͺ I'm a athlete playing set for set βͺ βͺ I pray my balls don't hit the net βͺ βͺ I run this court, so
forget what you heard βͺ βͺ When I grab my racket βͺ βͺ You know you gonna get served βͺ - Hockey player? (audience laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Y'all make some noise for Marissa, she took her time. Thank you for going so slow. (audience applauds) Y'all make some noise for Deja one time. Deja vu. Now we gotta speed this up. (audience applauds) You look smart. Let's go, red squad.
- Red squad, wild out. βͺ I bless kids, babies,
men, and old ladies βͺ βͺ I say hallelujah, make
the place go crazy βͺ βͺ If you believe in Jesus
just give me a nod βͺ βͺ I take you back to my room
βͺ βͺ And introduce you to God βͺ βͺ I'll make you scream and shout βͺ βͺ And make you hit a holy note βͺ βͺ Then put the thing in you βͺ βͺ And get the holy ghost βͺ - Preacher? - Preacher's a deacon? (buzzer buzzes) - Get out of here. - No, he said no. She said preacher.
- It's not the same thing. βͺ I swarm and I sting βͺ βͺ If I catch your trying to scheme βͺ βͺ Disrespect who you
want, just not my queen βͺ βͺ To the left, to the
left, boo, I keep it live βͺ βͺ I'm not a groupie,
I'm a member of the- βͺ - Beyhive. (audience applauds) βͺ I'm all swole, I'm kind of hard βͺ βͺ I protect you, here's my card βͺ βͺ I might rescue- βͺ - He said guard! - (beep) all y'all.
- My card. - What did I say?
- You said guard. - I said, here's my card.
- You said guard, bro. - We about to body slam
somebody up in here. (audience laughs) Yeah, who won? - The black squad won that one, make some noise for the black
squad. (audience applauds) βͺ Put your money down, I'm ready to bet βͺ βͺ If you go against me βͺ βͺ It's gonna be Russian Roulette βͺ βͺ Catch me playing craps and
it's off with your head βͺ βͺ Roll the dice, I always
put my money on red βͺ - Gambler. - You damn right. (audience applauds) βͺ Go this way, go that way βͺ βͺ Stop, proceed, drive βͺ - Stop sign. - A stop sign? - Stop sign? - Go this way, go that way.
- I don't know. βͺ Yo, listen, you know I got the chicken βͺ βͺ You know I got the goats βͺ βͺ And don't have a cow,
I always have the hoes βͺ βͺ You can step in the
field, you can rake a lot βͺ βͺ I can hire you if you
know how to raise a cock βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Okay, understanding me,
I wanna plant my seeds βͺ - Dammit. βͺ They call me Old MacDonald βͺ (buzzer buzzes) - I can't get it.
- Dammit! (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, look, get this bitch βͺ βͺ This is just my hustle on the side βͺ βͺ Don't drink and drive,
I'll be your ride βͺ βͺ Pull up in all black,
if not I'll rob ya βͺ βͺ Damn, why you always need my charger βͺ βͺ Yep, yep, I'm better than a cab βͺ βͺ Damn carrying (beep) what
the (beep) is in your bag βͺ βͺ 'Cause it's heavy, I drive a Chevy βͺ (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) βͺ Man, this job that I
got it's lame as hell βͺ βͺ They be cat calling me
from inside the cell βͺ βͺ If I get a new job,
I'ma jump on it fast βͺ βͺ Last night an inmate
pulled a shank out his ass βͺ - Oh, oh, oh. - Yes.
- Oh, oh, oh. (audience laughs) Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. (bell dinging)
(air horn) We better win this, that was amazing. Red squad, we up next, y'all make some noise for Bree one time. (audience applauds) - Red squad, wild out. - Okay, you ready?
- Ready, baby. βͺ When it come to writing
scripts, girl, I'm Gucci βͺ βͺ Now I can put you in the movie βͺ βͺ Me and you, we in scenes and stuff βͺ βͺ I'm the one that say action βͺ βͺ Hell nah, cut βͺ - Director.
- Yes! - That's how we do it! - I'm not fixing to take any chances. It rhymes with rules neporter. (audience laughs) - News reporter. (audience applauds) - It's a rhyming game. βͺ I can't front girl, I like your ways βͺ βͺ We supposed to be together,
but I'm twice your age βͺ βͺ See the brand new
shoes, I paid for that βͺ βͺ And them brand new
jewels, I paid for that βͺ βͺ If y'all see her on a
cruise, I paid for that βͺ βͺ But I ain't never in the
picture, you so lame for that βͺ - Daddy, sugar daddy? (audience applauds) - That's what I'm talking about. βͺ Cardi B, Bowwow, yeah, even Drake βͺ βͺ I helped them get that cake βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, to
make they songs tighter βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, I need one, I'm a- βͺ - Writer. βͺ But what kind, host, boo βͺ - A ghost rider. (audience applauds) βͺ Your man cheating, I can prove it βͺ βͺ Here go his phone, go through it βͺ βͺ I'm something like a hater βͺ βͺ If you hire me, I'm
not a public, I'm a- βͺ - Investigator. Detective. - Yeah, yes, sir. (audience applauds) βͺ All bathrooms I get to healing βͺ βͺ I'm the last person
to leave the building βͺ βͺ And I got all the keys on my waist βͺ βͺ And I clean the place βͺ βͺ And I sweep this place βͺ βͺ And I put the squeegee in the face βͺ βͺ Squeegee in the face βͺ - Janitor. (bell dinging)
(air horn) - I think I know who won, go ahead and confirm it, D-Wrek. - The red squad won that
one, make some noise for the red squad. (audience applauds) Red squad, wild out. (audience applauds) βͺ I bring the news to your door βͺ βͺ But I ain't a Jehovah Witness βͺ βͺ Running through the hood βͺ βͺ Getting chased by all these bitches βͺ βͺ I know it is illegal, but I
went through your business βͺ βͺ There's a letter in there
saying you about to get evicted βͺ - Mailman? - Okay then. (audience applauds) βͺ Don't go to the clinic, come to me βͺ βͺ Give me your hand, I'll
tell you all you need βͺ βͺ I know you read that book, Kama Sutra βͺ βͺ Bitch, STD free is not in your future. βͺ - Psychic? (audience applauds) βͺ Listen, everything is bigger βͺ βͺ As soon as I'm done touching you βͺ βͺ The Kardashians is my best customer βͺ βͺ Wear a white coat, I tie up a mask βͺ βͺ You came to me when
you bought your ass βͺ (audience laughs) - Plastic surgeon? (audience applauds) βͺ We can get real spiritual,
not talking voodoo βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, you
know this what I do βͺ βͺ Trying to get inside like the true you βͺ βͺ Wrap my head because I am a... βͺ (buzzer buzzes) Guru! (bell dinging)
(air horn) We did good, y'all make
some noise for Jessica. (audience applauds) Make some noise for Brittany Lucy, y'all. - Black squad, wild out. βͺ I'm cute, I'm fit, I walk so fierce βͺ βͺ Thanks to Tyra Banks
for helping my career βͺ βͺ The camera loves me 'cause
I'm cold as the winter βͺ βͺ My pics on magazines,
not IG and Twitter βͺ - A model. (audience applauds) βͺ Hey Ma, it depends
on what you sporting βͺ βͺ Might get you the Nikes, I
might get you the Jordans βͺ βͺ Look good in some Prestos
but great in some Shocks βͺ βͺ Just know I could put a
size eight in your box βͺ - Oh, Santa. - You said Santa? (audience laughs) βͺ Miss Johnson out sick, I
heard she suspended you βͺ βͺ Throw something else up there βͺ βͺ I'm calling the principal βͺ - Substitute teacher. (audience applauds) βͺ Now listen, you don't
wanna see my face βͺ βͺ 'Cause that means your stupid ass βͺ βͺ Done caught you a case βͺ βͺ Now I got the gravel and
this what you gonna see βͺ βͺ When I bang this mother
(beep) all my (beep) be free βͺ Come on! (buzzer buzzes) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - First off, I ain't gonna let you talk to Brittany like that because he said I got a gravel. (beep), it's called a gavel. (audience laughs) Gravel is some (beep) on the ground. - It's the same thing. - DJ D-Wrek, who won that? - Man, you know the
red squad won that one, make some noise for the red squad. (audience applauds) - It's a tie game! βͺ Welcome to the dealership βͺ βͺ I'll always shake your hand though βͺ βͺ What do you want, the
Mercedes or the Lambo βͺ βͺ You look around and see
which whip you wanna drive βͺ βͺ I push your stick back
and take you for a ride βͺ - A car dealer. - You're damn right. (audience applauds) βͺ Stand up, scream and shout βͺ βͺ Bless the lord, we in God's house βͺ βͺ I don't care if you live in Section 8 βͺ βͺ Put some money in
that collection plate βͺ - You're a pastor? (audience applauds) βͺ Before I go to work, I pray βͺ βͺ I pray that today don't be the day βͺ βͺ That one of these tigers
try to bite my ass βͺ βͺ One of these gorillas
try to bite my ass βͺ - Are you a zookeeper? - Zookeeper, yes! (audience applauds) βͺ Got the key to my
city, I'm real specific βͺ βͺ Speak on me is legendary βͺ βͺ Nothing less than is accepted βͺ βͺ Where I'm from we riding slab βͺ βͺ Everything about to be clear βͺ βͺ F the president, baby,
you can call me the- βͺ - Mayor? - You got it. (audience applauds) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Y'all make some noise for Brittany she did pretty well. Red squad, step up, y'all
make some noise for Brandy, let's do this. (audience applauds) D-Wrek, drop the beat. βͺ I be in these chicks
mouths, that's for real βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, they
can get this drill βͺ βͺ I can't rap a lot 'cause still βͺ βͺ I'm trying to figure out
if they can fix my grill βͺ - You're a rapper? (buzzer buzzes) I can't hear you, I can't hear you! (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, this will solve
all of your problems βͺ βͺ But at the same time βͺ βͺ Make it hard for you
to get out of them βͺ βͺ Back in the day I
used to be a biologist βͺ βͺ Now I'm doing brain surgery, I'm your- βͺ - Psychologist? (buzzer buzzes) - She not gonna get this. βͺ Look she nervous, she scared βͺ βͺ I need to do another
procedure on your head βͺ - You're a surgeon? (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - [DJ D-Wrek] Get out of here. βͺ Always a two drink
minimum to make you smile βͺ βͺ I do this 'cause I didn't
get enough love as a child βͺ βͺ You know my jokes are hot βͺ βͺ Eman thinks he's one
of these, but he's not βͺ - A rapper? (buzzer buzzes) - What's wrong with her? You not figuring nothing out. What the hell is wrong with you? (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) - DJ D-Wrek, who won? - The black squad won
that one, make some noise. (audience applauds) New school, wild out. (audience applauds) - Quiet on set. Open up. Put it in my mouth, take one. (audience applauds) - That's gonna be a good movie. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Appreciate it! Hey, look now.
- All right. - I took a picture of it. - Oh my goodness. That thing is so big, that's the biggest one
I ever seen in my life. - Man, I can't help
what God do for the boy. - I didn't know you was blessed like that. - Yes, sir. - You think that thing's gonna fit? - It gonna have to, she
gonna have to take all of it, it got to. - You gonna give it to her tonight? - Yeah, I'm gonna give
it to her right now. I'm about to put it on her right now. - In front of everyone? - In front of everyone, I'm like that. - You're crazy. - Let me go ahead and propose to her. (audience applauds) Yes, sir. - Damn. Damn, (beep). (audience laughs) Oh yeah, that's a good one, that's a good one right there. Oh girl, I'm sorry, I
don't mean to be rude, I was just showing my baby daddy what I'm about to spend
this child support on. (audience applauds) - You like cigars? Wait, before you answer, wrap
your lips around this Cuban. (audience applauds) - Like you wanna clap. You working with some ass
yeah, you're bad yeah. (audience applauds) - That's all he had to say. (bell dinging)
(air horn) Y'all make some noise for Bree one time. She is such an amazing sport. DJ D-Wrek, who won that game? - Even though Juvie did his thing, I gotta give it to the new school. Make some noise for the new school. (audience applauds) - Baby mother (beep). (audience laughs) Take this real quick. Put it in your mouth. - What is this? - It's Plan B 'cause
tonight I'm not pulling out. (audience applauds) - Scientifically, I don't
think that's possible. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Okay baby, look, roses are
red, Conceited is stocky, I wanna six nine and I
ain't talking Tekashi. Now I'ma beat that thing up and it's not 'cause I hate you, I'm just a real Jersey bitch, so I'm naughty by nature. (audience applauds) - Oh my god, you are so
bad, girl, look at you. Up here looking like a bag of money. You think it'd be cool if I put some money where my mouth is? (audience exclaims) (buzzer buzzes) Nevermind. - We only related by blood. Let's go, OG. - Google me. (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - How you gonna Google
somebody with the Yellow Pages, old (beep). (audience laughs) Wait, hold on, let me see, where it's at. Email me. (audience laughs) Clap it up, clap it up, clap it up. (audience applauds) - Hey girl, yeah, what's up? Yeah, I know, ladies get in free, tell them I'm on the way right now. You already know what it is, sis. I'ma see you there, okay? No, you ugly. Wait, hold on. Hey, my (beep) I'ma have
to call you right back. (audience laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Let's make some noise for Erica. DJ D-Wrek, who won the game? - I gotta give that to the old school. Make some noise for the old school, y'all. (audience applauds) - Excuse me, I'm sorry. Bet you ain't never seen a
fat dude packing like this. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - What's up with you? Yo, one time I had a
basketball game, right, I hit dude with a cross over, I stepped back, I hezzied him, hit the three, it was... How you looking all unimpressed? - 'Cause that's a soccer ball. - Oh, I'm tripping, this a soccer ball. You supposed to do it with no hands. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) (audience yelling) - God dang, girl, I ain't gonna lie, you up here looking like a sexy booger. (audience laughs) You know what, that's why I pick you. (audience applauds) (Eman booing) - You know I just turned vegan, right? So everything I eat gotta be green. (audience applauds) (whistle blowing) (buzzer buzzes) (audience exclaims) That's 'cause you eat pork, you swine eating bastard. Get your diet together,
stop eating all that meat. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - One second. You looking good. Oh, you heard that?
- No. - You can't hear it? Matter of fact, listen. βͺ I can hear crying out for me βͺ (audience cheers) βͺ It keeps on saying
come on in, come on in βͺ βͺ And save me βͺ βͺ It keeps on saying βͺ βͺ Come on in and save me βͺ βͺ Baby, I can hear your
heart crying out for me βͺ (audience applauds) (bell ringing)
(air horn) - Y'all make some noise
for Marissa AKA Miss Neon for being such a good sport. DJ D-Wrek, who won that game? - You gonna be mad 'cause I gotta give it to the black squad. Make some noise for the black squad. (audience applauds) - Legs is the word of the day. Repeat after me when I say legs, what's the word of the day, legs. - [Audience] Legs. - Now that they know, let's go to my house and
finish spreading the word. (audience applauds) - [Nick] Okay, okay. (audience applauds) - Cool, cool. - Hi, welcome to the Wild
'N Out jewelry store, is there anything I can help you with? - Oh yeah, I'm looking for something nice to complete me. I already got the earrings,
the ring, and the watch, you know what I'm saying I just need something to complete it. - So you're looking for something that will look good
around your neck, okay, well, how about this Cuban here? - Okay, that is nice, how much is this? - That's about $75,000. - I'ma put that right back. (audience laughs) - All right, well you just let me know if you see anything that
peaks your interest. - Okay, cool. (audience laughs) Her legs would be perfect around my neck. (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - I feel asleep and woke up and y'all was still standing there. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Hey, baby girl. I got a couple questions. You see that dude right there in the orange shirt right there? You like his hair? - Yes. - He kind of fly, right? - Yeah. - That watch too, them tattoos. - Yeah. - See baby, we might as well be together 'cause you like ugly (beep) too. (audience exclaims) (audience applauds) - Okay, okay, dang, this
school big, oh my god, the science, history. Excuse me, are you my geometry teacher 'cause from this angle you look acute. (audience exclaims) (audience applauds) - I'm a running back,
it's my job to go hard. - I'm a receiver, it's my job to go deep. (audience applauds) - I'm the coach. (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - I'm the owner. (audience applauds)
(bell dinging) Yo, DJ D-Wrek, who won that game? - I gotta say the black
squad won that one. Make some noise for the black squad. (audience applauds) - What's up with you? - I'm good, how are you? - You look nice. - Thank you. - I see your little
red pants and all that. But you know- - Hey, Hitman Holla. - Uh uh girl, it's not like that, it's like, hey Hitman Holla. (audience laughs) - I'm so sorry about that, they was my ex-girlfriend's neighbors, can you imagine why they know my name? (audience applauds) - I done told them to put sugar. Dang, now I gotta taste something sweet. Oh yeah, that's it right there. Because look, hold on, wait. (buzzer buzzes) - Trash. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Oh! Ew, that tea is nasty, I told them to put some sugar in it. Damn! Your shoulder is nasty. (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) (audience applauds) - How you doing? - I'm good, how are you? - I'm better now.
- Oh yeah? - Look, I'm just gonna
keep it real with you, I'ma treat you like DJ D-Wrek's career. - What? - I'm gonna ring your
bell, give you a buzz, and I'ma last longer than
everybody on this stage. (audience applauds) - It sound like D-Wrek. (audience applauds) - Yo, check it. (audience laughs) These guys wanna tear you
down and give you the D, but the only thing I wanna
tear down is misogyny then I'll massage your knee,
then I'll massage your feet, then I'll give you a massage for free as long as you massage my neck. (audience laughs) And no disrespect, I'm not trying to flex, but the only thing I wanna
pick up is the check, so while these dudes
trying to give you the sex, girl, the only thing I wanna
give you is my respect. (audience applauds) - Only thing he wanna
pick up is the check. - That was good, that was beautiful. That was beautiful. (audience applauds) - That's crazy, you ever
seen a bone this big? - No, I've never. - That's not even the biggest one I got. - Oh, yeah? (audience applauds) - [Nick] Let's go, C-O-N. - All right, look, everybody
else wants to lie to you and tell you all things
they not really gonna do. I'ma get straight to the point. - Tell me. - You come to my place, I'ma kill it. Dead ass! (audience applauds) - You ever been around the world? - No. - On a private jet? - No. - Shopping spree? - No. - I'm telling Lil Wayne. (audience laughs) - Hey look, (beep) that, let's go. (audience laughs) - You supposed to do this. Girl, I'll hit you with all I got and make you go (groans). (audience applauds) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - DJ D-Wrek? - I gotta give that to the red squad, make some noise for the red squad. (audience applauds) (Eman giggles) - With your fly ass. (audience applauds) - Oh my god. You are so pretty. - Thank you. - Look, I know all of these other guys are trying to tell you
all of these pretty lies, but they are not trying
to give you anything, so I want to know if you
would like to have a few of my goats. - I would love your goats. - You would love my goats? - I would love them. - Well, if you love my goats, then I know you are
going to love my snake. (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Hey, baby. So look, you know I got the whole world talking like me, right? It's this thing call the B. Simone tone, so just repeat after me,
see if you can do it. Baby girl. - Baby girl. - No, no, no. Baby girl. - Baby girl. - Sir. - Sir. - Look, just come home with me tonight, I'll make sure you hit the high note. (audience laughs) - Get that shit, B. Simone. (audience applauds) - I'm going over these scenes
for "Insecure" next season and right now I'm going over a scene where I smash you on stage, you ready? (audience exclaims) (buzzer buzzes) (audience laughs) (audience applauds) βͺ You got me speechless βͺ βͺ You got me speechless βͺ - No, I can't give you that. (buzzer buzzes) - What are you talking about? βͺ You got my speechless βͺ I want my damn bell. βͺ Speechless βͺ (audience applauds) - You pulled the pistol out on them, and you shot everybody, (beep), you crazy. All right, Mama, I'ma call you right back. (audience laughs) So I just finished donating my organs, man and they said if you sign right here, I could leave you my heart. (audience exclaims) - [DJ D-Wrek] That was beautiful. (audience applauds) - Now you know how I'm the
boss on this show, right? - Yeah. - But somehow you just gave me a raise. (audience laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) - Yo, who won that game, man? - I gotta give that to the red squad, make some noise for the red squad. - Red squad! βͺ Khaled claims he doesn't
go down on ladies βͺ βͺ But I bet you'd eat me
if I was covered in gravy βͺ (audience laughs) 'Cause he's fat. - Okay, your thing is
Black people barbecues and white people barbecues. (audience applauds) - How are you? - Isn't weed illegal. - You're not gonna call the cops on this barbecue too, right? - Why is this chicken so spicy? - You know you're not
supposed to put raisins in the potato salad, right? (audience laughs) - Is that a DJ, why? - You never heard "Back That Ass Up?" Can you back that ass up? - You think I haven't heard that song? Oh, Mr. Conceited. (audience laughs) - Back that ass up, do the Miley twerk. (audience applauds) βͺ Back that ass up, back that ass up βͺ - I like when they do that. What is Maddy doing? What are you doing? (audience laughs) - Do the VMA, Very Maddy Award. (audience laughs) - That's not how it's done. - That's not how it goes? (audience laughs) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) Y'all make some noise for Maddy. βͺ Here's my brother Carter,
we are the minorities βͺ βͺ We are only here
'cause our Dad owns MTV βͺ βͺ The family reunion βͺ - Okay, you know what, I am
literally freaking out right now I am utterly starstruck,
I used to watch "Rugrats" all the time. Guys, give it up for Chuckie Finster. (audience laughs) Oh my gosh. Okay, okay, okay, yeah. βͺ I'm standing on stage
behind Mariah and J-Lo βͺ βͺ I help them out with
their high and low notes βͺ βͺ And if you still do not know βͺ βͺ My best lyric to date
has been do do do, oh βͺ - Backup singer? - Yeah! (audience applauds) - Give me Maddy, Maddy, I need you here. (audience applauds) - Oh my god, DC, nice outfit, I guess they renamed the show
Wild 'N Out Of The Closet. (audience laughs) - Well, first of all, your ass built like the
last drop of the toothpaste, ugly ass girl. (audience laughs) Hold on, wait a minute. - If we were in a relationship, I'd be the man, walking him to his car, saying hey, text me when you get home. - Stay in your lane, okay, you white people don't
listen, stay in your lane. - Damn sure don't listen. You know what your ass built like? A wet french fry, ugly ass girl. You hate biscuits, ugly ass girl. But you love mayonnaise, ugly ass girl. (audience laughs) - Okay, hold on, I got one more. - No, no, no. - I got one more, let me do one more. (whistle blows) - Can I say one more thing? - No. - I had one more thing. (whistle blows) He's ugly. (audience laughs) - Salt and pepper ain't seasoning, (beep). (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - Give me Maddy. Give me Cortez, I want you here. - Cortez, you look like ET phoned home and nobody answered. - If you don't get your
goddamn pumpkin spice latte pale face ass the (beep) up outta here. - You look like you should be vibrating on Justina's nightstand. - You look like Justina
before MTV loved her. (audience exclaims) - You're a virgin, okay. (audience laughs) (whistle blows) - Give me Maddy. - Hey. (audience applauds) - Give me Hitman Holla. Hitman, you ready? Maddy, you ready? - Wait, wait, wait, you
sure I can roast her 'cause as soon as we start having fun she gonna call the cops. (audience exclaims) - Hitman, you look like
you don't know how to read. (audience exclaims) - Girl, you up here dressed
like a hip-hop soccer mom. - Wait, hold on, I'm confused, Hitman, if you're here who's watching the phone
case kiosk at the mall? (audience exclaims) - Hey, this that damn white
(beep) in every scary movie. She ran into that couch, she gonna fall. Oh my god. - You, shaky shake it. - Hitman, you look like you dunk your chin in chocolate pudding. - Girl, you built like the
momma from "Brady Bunch." - Too shaky. - No, no, no. - That wasn't shaky. - Dude, that wasn't shaky. - Out! (audience exclaims) βͺ My name is Maddy βͺ βͺ Yeah βͺ βͺ I'm getting high βͺ βͺ Yeah βͺ βͺ I can't dance βͺ βͺ Yeah βͺ βͺ But I'm gonna try βͺ - Oh my boy. - Boy, what's happening? - I gotta introduce to you
Miss Mary, that ass so fat. - Where she at? I wanna see her, I gotta to go. Miss Mary, Miss Mary, Miss Mary. - Show them that ass girl, show them what you're working with. - This Miss Mary right here? (audience laughs) Boy, that ain't no ass. That ass is flat. Nu uh, DJ, remix. βͺ Mary βͺ βͺ That ass is scary βͺ βͺ That is flat, flat, flat, flat βͺ βͺ But we gonna get it
back, back, back, back βͺ βͺ Goddamn, her ass has really gone flat βͺ βͺ That (beep) keep shaking like that βͺ βͺ Shaking them cheeks so fast βͺ βͺ Now she broke on the back βͺ βͺ Yeah, she choke on the sack βͺ βͺ I clank on the bank βͺ βͺ White as cream βͺ βͺ I make my milkshake βͺ βͺ Call me a chef 'cause I'm
just flipping pancakes βͺ βͺ When I dance it looks so wack βͺ βͺ Turn around V, how you
get your ass like that βͺ βͺ Mary βͺ βͺ That ass is scary βͺ βͺ Her booty's flat, flat, flat, flat βͺ βͺ But we gonna get it
back, back, back, back βͺ (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) - Your topic is growing old. (audience applauds) - Will Smith, Pharrell, Montel Williams, they look great, but that
is not how white people age. We're rotting like fruits, it's the truth. Bananas, apples, avocados, oh my. Still don't believe me, I'm only nine. (audience laughs) Growing old. Oh! Damn! Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm slippery when I'm wet. (audience applauds) - Your topic is date night. βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ I'm swiping left βͺ βͺ I'm swiping left βͺ βͺ I'm swiping left βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ You don't look like your pic βͺ βͺ You don't look like your pic βͺ βͺ You don't look like your
pic βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ Yo, you not my type βͺ βͺ You not my type βͺ βͺ You not my type βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ That's 'cause I got no wood βͺ βͺ I got no wood βͺ βͺ I got no wood βͺ βͺ Now you wild you βͺ - What you trying to say I'm gay? - You're gay, you're gay. (audience applauds) βͺ Now you wild out βͺ - Your topic is accused of cheating. βͺ I'm going through your phone βͺ βͺ I'm going through your phone βͺ βͺ I'm going through your phone βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ You gonna see your momma twerking βͺ βͺ You gonna see your momma twerking βͺ βͺ You gonna see your momma twerking βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ You're too ugly to cheat βͺ βͺ You're too ugly to cheat βͺ βͺ You're too ugly to cheat βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ I'd rather beat my (beep) βͺ βͺ I'd rather beat my (beep) βͺ βͺ I'd rather beat my (beep) βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ If you can find it βͺ βͺ If you can find it βͺ βͺ If you can find it βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ - Okay, let's go, red team sucks. Okay, all right, listen up, guys. My girl Kenya is so fly. - [Audience] How fly is she? - She was crowned Miss USA and actually made America great again. (audience applauds) What up? Oh my god. Okay, this game makes me really nervous. I'm just gonna (babbles). That's how I get (beep). (audience laughs) (audience applauds) - And the award goes to Ariana Grande. - Yo, this is dope. Okay, I wanna say thank you for giving me the I
forgot I was white award. (audience laughs) It's so easy 'cause this (beep) is dope. It's so cool. I can't believe I'm
here with "Wild 'N Out" with my people. This is like so cool. So I just wanna thank Mariah Carey for doing what you do and then letting me steal
it and make it worse. (audience exclaims) You know, like hoo, hoo. And one more thing, I wanna
say that God is a woman, specifically a Black
woman, specifically me. Thank y'all. (audience applauds) - [Nick] Okay, Maddy. - ATL, turn up. - [Audience] Turn up for what? - It took two seasons of "Wild 'N Out," extensive training, and new sneakers, but I finally learned how to whoa. (audience applauds) βͺ She got it, she got it, she got it βͺ - What up? Okay, ATL, turn up! - [Audience] Turn up for what? - Yo, my ex-boyfriend's favorite TV show is "Wild 'N Out" so now he has to watch me on TV. What's up, Dave, I hate you. (audience applauds) - Come on, Maddy. - Actually, listen, Maddy Mayonnaise, I don't know why you are battling, your ass is so flat, it makes Justina's look
like Kim Kardashian. - Hold on, I got one thing to say, Charron, how come between us
I'm the one who's more feminine when did they come out
with an unflavored M&M? (audience exclaims) - Hey, come on, okay, but even if you're the
last person on Earth, I still wouldn't tap that, this is what I'd look like with the girl filter on Snapchat. (audience laughs) - What you trying to say, girl? - Let me talk to Hitman. Hitman, oh my gosh,
your mustache looks like a line of ants, but I better it's bigger than the line in your pants. (audience laughs) Hey, okay. Yo, your smile is wack, your teeth are so fake and white they make me look Black. (audience laughs) - What is going on? These white people are whooping our ass. - Clips, you're walking
around like you're the best looking like DJ Khaled
without the success. Okay, hold on, ready? Khaled claims he doesn't go down on ladies but I bet you'd eat me if
I was covered in gravy. (audience laughs) 'Cause he's fat. He's a large man. - White girl, you better look out and tell your mother to
stop calling the cops on our cookouts. Understand that the hate is valid, and why the hell do your people put little raisins in potato salad? - Okay, let me get one more for Clips. - Get him! - If you walk 10 steps, I don't think you could further, Martin Luther King Jr bacon cheeseburger. (audience laughs) βͺ Five scrub, six scrub,
seven scrub, eight βͺ βͺ Hitman never caught a body βͺ βͺ Con never caught a case βͺ βͺ I'll put you in your place βͺ βͺ Yeah, I'm talking all of you βͺ βͺ How we the girl squad and
got more balls than you βͺ βͺ Y'all are not stars βͺ βͺ I'll single-handedly damage
these with philanthropy βͺ βͺ Run and tell them I got bars βͺ βͺ Pretty boy, sissy
boy, tell me I'm pushy βͺ βͺ How y'all the boy squad
but still so pussy βͺ βͺ This bitch really thinks
she the Little Mermaid βͺ βͺ But all she really did was
dip her hair in Kool-Aid βͺ βͺ Girl you about as lame
as that boy Steve Urkel βͺ βͺ With a voice like this βͺ βͺ She should be on a
cigarette commercial βͺ - That's true. βͺ I'm like a cigarette
commercial, that's no lie βͺ βͺ But when I do my
thing, you know I'm fly βͺ βͺ And taking bitches like you βͺ βͺ You know that's too easy βͺ βͺ With a body like that βͺ βͺ You looking like Young Jeezy βͺ - No, no, no, hold on. βͺ You talking about my body βͺ
βͺ I could go in on ass alone βͺ βͺ Man, this hot Cheeto club βͺ βͺ Done left her whole ass at home βͺ - Okay, that was good too. - I don't see it. βͺ I left my ass at home βͺ βͺ But I'm white so truly βͺ βͺ That's my excuse βͺ βͺ But girl, where's your booty βͺ Carlos, how you doing? βͺ You look like Old Dirty Bastard βͺ βͺ A little bit dirty and
less of a good rapper βͺ βͺ They said you fly,
well I don't wanna lie βͺ βͺ You look like chlamydia personified βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Hold up, you better get the white girl βͺ βͺ 'Cause she already did βͺ βͺ She got the red hair
but what about the head βͺ βͺ Is it fly, do you know βͺ βͺ I don't know βͺ βͺ Is she freaky βͺ βͺ I don't know βͺ βͺ Is she a hoe βͺ βͺ Maybe so βͺ βͺ One thing you will never (beep) know βͺ - Cut that beat, man. What up, B. - Talk your (beep). - I'm trying to tell you. (audience laughs) - Talk your (beep). βͺ Check it, this ain't
"Love and Hip-Hop" βͺ βͺ And don't you forget it βͺ βͺ I love hip-hop so much βͺ βͺ Nick, I wish you would just quit it βͺ (audience exclaims) - Wait, hold on. βͺ Damn Cyn, why you starting with me βͺ βͺ I invited you to this show βͺ βͺ Damn, I should've booked Cardi B βͺ (audience exclaims) - I got your boss. βͺ Listen, look Cyn, we
don't know you too well βͺ βͺ The only Santana we respect is Juelz βͺ βͺ Justina Valentine, I rap this verse βͺ βͺ And I'ma get rid of this sin βͺ βͺ Like a Catholic church βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, you guys are scared
'cause we are newer βͺ βͺ Justina looks like me
if I fell in a sewer βͺ Now can I get Spanky up here? Let's get Spanky, old school. He's so cute and little, oh my god, hi. How are you? Oh my gosh.
- Whatever. βͺ Old school right, and you got fired βͺ βͺ Looking at your face I
have never been drier βͺ βͺ And man, I don't wanna be crass βͺ βͺ Spanky, okay, you'll
never spank this ass βͺ (audience applauds) (bell dinging) βͺ I use Bobby as a
mother (beep) kickstand βͺ βͺ Where the hits, man βͺ βͺ Hitman, this man, (beep)
talking (beep) man βͺ βͺ What you gonna do when
we hit you with that man βͺ βͺ Hold on, wait up βͺ βͺ Girl I seen you when you first wake up βͺ βͺ So you better be glad they got makeup βͺ βͺ 'Cause without it you look
like Eman and Brandon Jacobs βͺ βͺ Just move, nice body, I
ain't gonna lie, I'm Bobby βͺ βͺ But your face, you're
looking like Godfrey βͺ - Hey Big Mack. Ladies, I got us. Hey yo, Mack. βͺ Back in the back, I'm patting the cat βͺ βͺ If I'm patting the (beep) βͺ βͺ I'ma run up on Mack βͺ βͺ Put it straight to his back βͺ βͺ All my (beep) in black,
ski mask, and hoodie on βͺ βͺ Grab him right from the sack βͺ βͺ What y'all gonna do then βͺ βͺ Go and phone a friend βͺ βͺ You'll probably be in my DMs βͺ βͺ Trying to bone again βͺ βͺ Cortez, ET, you better
phone home again βͺ βͺ Y'all acting like kids
so y'all all Nickelodeon βͺ βͺ Y'all just illiterate idiots βͺ βͺ No matter how big you get βͺ βͺ Always (beep) for the internet βͺ βͺ Put you out like a cigarette βͺ βͺ And DeRay, I know
you not strong enough βͺ βͺ I seen your (beep) last night βͺ βͺ You belong with us βͺ (audience exclaims)
(bell dinging) βͺ Hey yo, Candy, you my family βͺ βͺ But what I need is understanding βͺ βͺ We was just kicking it βͺ βͺ Just having fun, boo βͺ βͺ So after I hit it,
who you gonna run to βͺ (audience applauds) βͺ You know I keep a sex toy handy βͺ βͺ I'm the real deal, real candy βͺ βͺ Not like your mans be βͺ βͺ So get the real candy βͺ - That was advertised. Get the Candy sex toy,
get the Candy sex toy. βͺ Listen Candy, is it Twix or is it Mars βͺ βͺ Why they call you Candy βͺ βͺ You ain't got no bars βͺ βͺ You know me, I'm always
killing on the scene βͺ βͺ How you wrote "No Scrubs" βͺ βͺ But all these scrubs on your team βͺ (audience applauds) βͺ Justina, I'm tired of this Raggedy Ann βͺ βͺ And with that raspy ass voice βͺ βͺ Bro, I swear you's a man βͺ βͺ Yo, Ronald McDonald,
I'm a really huge fan βͺ βͺ You play yourself and a
girl on the McDonald's bag βͺ (buzzer buzzes) βͺ You talking all that gang (beep) βͺ βͺ Like you really serious βͺ βͺ If you a (beep) why
you scared of a period βͺ βͺ You look lame, who am I speaking with βͺ βͺ Like every SoundCloud rapper
I won't do a feature with βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Look, I'm like, Jin you
sounding like a hater βͺ βͺ I'll kill Jin straight βͺ βͺ I don't even need a chaser βͺ βͺ Face it, now you ain't
nobody's favorite βͺ βͺ Y'all give it up for Tim
DeLaGhetto's replacement βͺ (audience applauds) - Mope, hi. βͺ You know what, Mope, I
don't want you to stop βͺ βͺ You chipped your tooth
sucking your way to the top βͺ (audience exclaims) Thank you. βͺ Nick, I don't wanna get you amped up βͺ βͺ We should get him a chair βͺ βͺ We know when he stands up βͺ βͺ DC, I don't know what to say βͺ βͺ Like that tattoo on your face βͺ βͺ I know you must hate life βͺ βͺ Tim DeLaGhetto, I don't wanna do you βͺ βͺ You know I like pasta βͺ βͺ I don't want that Asian noodles βͺ βͺ And Jess, everybody know I rap hot βͺ βͺ Your body built somebody
like a match box βͺ βͺ Chico, you look like an armadillo βͺ βͺ Your head's so big, you
use a mattress as a pillow βͺ βͺ And Hitman, I know you
got a lot of thotties βͺ βͺ But why they call you Hitman βͺ βͺ You don't have a single body βͺ (audience exclaims) - Hold on! Hold on, goddamn, wait a minute! Listen! Check this out. βͺ You went for my whole
team, that ain't right βͺ βͺ Your ass up here sounding
like a damn dirt bike βͺ - Okay, DC, don't leave yet. (buzzer buzzes) βͺ Okay DC, don't get too close βͺ βͺ You know I really hate germs βͺ βͺ And your body look like
a big ass tape worm βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Look at you βͺ βͺ You stank, fool βͺ βͺ DC, I don't know why
he gave you a bell βͺ βͺ You in all red, boy, 'cause
I'll send you to hell βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, you
need to just switch βͺ βͺ You look like dinosaur
from "Lilo and Stitch" βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Lay Lay, come here,
I'm gonna keep it real βͺ βͺ You think you up here grown βͺ βͺ Until your little ass
start paying some bills βͺ βͺ I'm talking light bill, gas bill βͺ βͺ That's gonna kick your ass βͺ βͺ All right, okay, let's do it βͺ βͺ All y'all wack like your outfit βͺ βͺ I've been making money six to six βͺ βͺ I work for me, y'all work for Nick βͺ (audience applauds) - Yo, let me get Charron. - DJ D-Wrek, may you kindly
remove the instrumental, please? - There's a lot of white
people on this episode. - White 'N Out. Okay, for a white guy you
think you're such a gem but you're my lease favorite
candy, small peanuts M&M. (audience exclaims) - Oh, slow it down. Small penis Eminem. - Hey, DC, come here
you little ugly ass boy. - All right, I told you. - Ugly ass boy.
- Watch this. - Let's see. βͺ DC, there's one thing
that I can't ignore βͺ βͺ Your body is built just
like an extension cord βͺ βͺ I mean, you always hyper,
you need to smoke a joint βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, your body's built βͺ βͺ Like an exclamation point βͺ - All right, I guess
that's white people jokes. - Okay, well listen. βͺ Calm down a little bit βͺ βͺ He didn't really win yet βͺ βͺ When he hit last night βͺ βͺ I had to ask is it in yet βͺ (audience exclaims) - Wait a minute. βͺ Uh uh, you cannot be
talking about my (beep) βͺ βͺ I never (beep) a girl
who sounds like this βͺ (audience laughs) (air horn) - Come here, Mimi. Mimi, I know with that jacket you hotter than your grandma's house. And your body is covered in more plastic than Grandma's couch. - Hold up, wait, Conceited. Damn, you got some big ass shoulders, but that don't change the fact that your body stay young
but your face getting older. (audience exclaims) - Wait, wait, wait, I just wanted to say. βͺ This is my stage, don't step up on it βͺ βͺ Looking like a piece of chicken βͺ βͺ With some ketchup on it βͺ (audience laughs) - Justina, bring you here. βͺ Your nails, my nails βͺ βͺ I'm like damn, you might be bad βͺ βͺ But I'll still take your man βͺ (audience exclaims) - Okay, Christian. Okay, your nails are nicer than mine. Okay, check it. βͺ Now your mom texted me βͺ βͺ She thought you
wouldn't make it through βͺ βͺ How you named Christian βͺ βͺ But your mom don't
have no faith in you βͺ (audience exclaims) Let me talk to Charron real quick. Oh, you got me? Okay, listen. βͺ You know you soft, nothing
like a felon, right βͺ βͺ He cold, sort of like Vanilla Ice βͺ βͺ You the best, man,
you must be kidding me βͺ βͺ How you lose this battle
before you lost your virginity βͺ (audience exclaims) - Can I cut the beat down? - Cut the beat. - Here we go, (beep). (audience applauds) You got two guns and you
still couldn't blast me, trashy, ashy, McNasty. When I eat cheese I'm real gassy, (beep). That (beep) get nasty. Can you smell it? (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, look, your energy is great βͺ βͺ It's really unrivaled βͺ βͺ But every song you sing
need to come with subtitles βͺ βͺ I mean I'm glad that you came to play βͺ βͺ But no one understands
what the (beep) you say βͺ (audience exclaims) - How about some girl on girl on girl? βͺ Yo, why don't you come
over here, Justina βͺ βͺ And battle with me βͺ βͺ 'Cause I got a vagina βͺ βͺ I'm not scared of you,
you're scared of me βͺ βͺ I got the balls to kick
you in your ovaries βͺ - Wow, okay. βͺ Okay, Julia, now I gotta eat you βͺ βͺ You got the swag of a biology teacher βͺ βͺ With a face like that, you'll
never get a wedding ring βͺ βͺ I heard of a butter face,
but you a butter everything βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Your voice is getting deeper,
but it really don't matter βͺ βͺ But season after season
your ass is getting flatter βͺ (audience exclaims) (buzzer buzzes) - Okay. βͺ Another flat ass joke βͺ βͺ Watch how I smash those βͺ βͺ I'd rather have a flat butt βͺ βͺ Than a loose asshole βͺ (audience applauds) - Hey yo, DJ D-Wrek. - Yo, what up? (speaking in foreign language) I don't know what that means. - Cut the beat. Conceited, right here, front
and center, let's get it. (audience applauds) I can't believe it, you're
shorter in life, Conceited. When you're standing up,
it look like Con seated, slow it down, I just missed you. (audience exclaims) βͺ Okay, damn right, okay βͺ βͺ B. Simone, you know
you need to dial back βͺ βͺ Jess Hilarious called, she
said she wants her style back βͺ βͺ You know me, I always
spit the most heat βͺ βͺ That (beep) look like a
slab of old roast beef βͺ (audience exclaims) - [Nick] Lunch meat. βͺ See, you talking all that (beep) βͺ βͺ Like you really can't stand me βͺ βͺ Somebody give her fat
ass a number to Dr. Miami βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Girl, you raps really got me bored βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, Whitney,
go get me a four for four βͺ βͺ All right, we gonna go off top wilding βͺ βͺ Chloe and Hailey, y'all got talent βͺ βͺ So I'ma just kick
this, you got the glow βͺ βͺ But one thing before y'all go βͺ βͺ Can y'all do me a favor βͺ βͺ And tell Beyonce to
come on this damn show βͺ (audience laughs) Call Beyonce and tell her
we need her on the show. - All right, all right, drop the beat. Hold up. - I guess that means I'm gonna
get in trouble, all right. - Nick, knack, patty whack,
Cannon with no balls. (audience exclaims) - Once you lost Mariah,
you know you lost it all. (audience exclaims) - First it went your talent. - Along with your career. - I know it must be hard for you, but baby, wipe your tears. (audience applauds) - Bring the beat back, y'all so mean. - I don't care who y'all
is, them fighting words. - All right, I got something
for my girls right here. I got something for my girls
right here, check it out. βͺ Y'all got signed to Queen
Bey, I wish you well βͺ βͺ She looking for Beyonce βͺ βͺ Y'all just Kelly and Michelle βͺ (audience exclaims) - All right, all right,
all right, all right. Hold on, hold on, hold on. βͺ Oh look, the mouse
has something to say βͺ βͺ You just a clout chaser
who's waiting for pay day βͺ (audience exclaims) - I'ma just say this. βͺ I'ma go over there and
find a place to sit βͺ βͺ Y'all signed to Beyonce,
I'm just signed to Nick βͺ - Hey, that's a good thing. (audience applauds) - Come here, Justina. You not gonna do these ladies like that. βͺ You up here rapping, that wasn't clean βͺ βͺ You up here snapping,
I know what you mean βͺ βͺ Now listen, let me tell you something βͺ βͺ Now this might sting, you rap black βͺ βͺ But these are real Black queens βͺ (audience applauds) - I'm gonna get my girls back
real quick, okay, Justina? βͺ Hey yo, Justina βͺ βͺ I don't know if you
an actor or an actress βͺ βͺ You can't get on no show βͺ βͺ Baby girl 'cause it's Blackish βͺ βͺ Coming for me, you
must have a death wish βͺ βͺ I'ma burn you worse than
every dude that you slept with βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Wild style queen, you know that's true βͺ βͺ I smell something fishy, bitch βͺ βͺ It must be you βͺ - Hold on, hold on, hold on!
(audience applauds) βͺ Justina, I'm on the black team βͺ βͺ Don't make me mad βͺ βͺ Bro, I'll make you my step daughter βͺ βͺ And start (beep) your dad βͺ (audience exclaims) - Gary, I got something for you βͺ I wish I may and I wish I might βͺ βͺ Have this wish that I wish tonight βͺ βͺ No matter where we hang,
no matter how we act βͺ βͺ You and me and Gary are not Black βͺ - It's true. - [Justina] I can relate, I get it. βͺ You got me confused,
I'm down with the swirl βͺ βͺ I would talk to you, but I
don't talk to white girls βͺ (audience laughs) - I mean, you beat me, you
running a trucking race, the only thing this
white girl can do to me is put me in a sucking place. (audience exclaims) - All right, you know
what, you're not Hitman, you got scared and quit man. When we were hooking up, you
were too small to fit, man. (audience exclaims) (audience applauds) (bell dinging) βͺ DC, you annoying as hell βͺ βͺ You put the L in "TRL" βͺ βͺ Royce, you look silly of course βͺ βͺ Your teeth so far apart
it's like they got a divorce βͺ βͺ Nick, you see I'm on an attack βͺ βͺ Like the thing around your head βͺ βͺ For your team, it's a wrap βͺ βͺ Tonio, you know that I'm gone βͺ βͺ You no habla in English βͺ βͺ Habla in Espanol βͺ (audience applauds) βͺ Look, "TRL", that's my (beep) βͺ βͺ You got on a racing outfit βͺ βͺ 'Cause you like to ride this (beep) βͺ - Okay. (DC imitating lawnmower) βͺ I feel like cutting the grass
every time I hear your voice βͺ βͺ Hey yo, Justina βͺ βͺ I'm the only one who ain't
impressed with that rhyme βͺ βͺ 'Cause you used to doing
seven (beep) at a time βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Okay, if that was true βͺ βͺ Then I did your whole
team, but I didn't do you βͺ (audience exclaims) Okay, you're damn right, Brooklyn. I like this vibe. Okay, okay. βͺ Hitman, you get done worse βͺ βͺ There's a fight, you
probably run first βͺ βͺ I play for the power team βͺ βͺ Julia, you some coward cream βͺ βͺ Funny Mike, you can't see me βͺ βͺ You look too much just like DC βͺ βͺ All Star, where you wear that βͺ βͺ Kid 'N Play partner with the hair back βͺ βͺ Jake dog, let me set it up βͺ βͺ You're the worst competitor βͺ βͺ The only show you're good on βͺ βͺ Is "How To Catch A Predator" βͺ (audience applauds) βͺ I ain't got time βͺ βͺ To be going back and
forth with you all night βͺ βͺ You said you not like Iggy βͺ βͺ You goddamn right βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Well, Hitman, I got real cake βͺ βͺ Her (beep) is real fake βͺ βͺ You wanna play with me βͺ βͺ But you just like a real snake βͺ βͺ That (beep) was real weak βͺ βͺ That all went to sleep βͺ βͺ You hit me last night βͺ βͺ Talking about how you trying to creep βͺ βͺ You hit it from the
back and you liked that βͺ βͺ Matter of fact, I write that βͺ βͺ He called me like Hitman βͺ βͺ I'ma hit you right back βͺ βͺ I'm the illest bitch with the flow βͺ βͺ Don't act like you don't know βͺ βͺ Nick Cannon is my boss βͺ (audience exclaims) (audience applauds) βͺ Chico, my bars so hard
you can say they titanium βͺ βͺ The only thing bigger than
your ego is your cranium βͺ βͺ Carlos, why you acting wild βͺ βͺ Your teeth look like you brush them βͺ βͺ With a Black and Mild βͺ βͺ Now Vena, you know I
spit hard as (beep) βͺ βͺ You a bootleg Rhianna starter kit βͺ βͺ Zoie, you get bodied by a chick βͺ βͺ Good thing you like (beep) βͺ βͺ You get the (beep) end of the stick βͺ βͺ Justina, soy Dominicano βͺ βͺ You gonna take it all βͺ βͺ Like Donald Trump I'ma
break through them walls βͺ - Okay, that was cute. βͺ You could break through the walls βͺ βͺ That's not important βͺ βͺ If we don't impeach him
you're getting deported βͺ (audience exclaims) (bell dinging) βͺ You sound like you smoke a pack a week βͺ βͺ That (beep) is cancerous βͺ βͺ Black squad, I wanna
know, whose man is this βͺ βͺ When you got dressed,
girl, I should've told you βͺ βͺ You look like an advertisement
for Trash-on Nova βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, there's white people
and there's white people βͺ βͺ There's a difference at least βͺ βͺ 'Cause you look like the type βͺ βͺ That could be Donald Trump's niece βͺ (audience exclaims) - Hold up, let me get Justina. βͺ Listen, you picked on
me all last season, yes βͺ βͺ And you was saying
(beep) for no reason βͺ βͺ Now last year you
called me a toothpick βͺ βͺ And girl that sting βͺ βͺ But your voice sound
like the little man βͺ βͺ From "Lord of the Rings" βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, look, you talk about my voice βͺ βͺ So now I gotta do you βͺ βͺ But why your hair look
like a dirty shower loofah βͺ βͺ You've been gone, DC βͺ βͺ I'ma cut to the chase βͺ βͺ Meet Funny Mike 'cause
you have been replaced βͺ - Boy, bring that ass here. (beep) you mean? (audience applauds) - Hey DC, I'm tired of hearing you ramble. (beep) y'all looking at the
face that got "TRL" canceled. - I got y'all. You talking about "TRL" got canceled, damn (beep), you hit me on the low, let's talk about when you
called me three months ago talking about some, please,
can you get me on the show? (audience laughs) I'm like (beep) you need help? She was like, please,
immediately, they choking me. - Okay, here's the thing,
that ain't really true so let me hear your rhyme next, "TRL" called me, they
wanted me to be a guest. They said you really good
and the fans know your face. DC, I keep it real, they
wanted me to take your place. (audience exclaims) βͺ Lauren, come here, please βͺ - I've been waiting. βͺ Gotta show the world these βͺ βͺ Amazing jeans βͺ βͺ Now listen, this the new school βͺ βͺ And you know that we be flowing βͺ βͺ With jeans like that βͺ βͺ I know that you steal
out of every Wal-Mart βͺ βͺ That you go in βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ You make fun of my
pants, we all expect it βͺ βͺ Bitch, yours make you
look like you're anorexic βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Okay, check it out one time βͺ βͺ Look, new school, you an ugly mess βͺ βͺ I'm about to do my
thing with Doug E. Fresh βͺ βͺ Justina Valentine, and
I speak the heat rock βͺ βͺ Doug E. Fresh and he's
killing on the beatbox βͺ βͺ Hold on, watch how I play it βͺ βͺ You look like Destiny's Child βͺ βͺ If they never made it βͺ βͺ And DC, you ain't got no game βͺ βͺ You look like a booty (beep) βͺ βͺ That won't go down the drain βͺ (audience laughs) - I look like a booty (beep)? - E-Money, bring your fine ass. βͺ Okay, look, Erica you
know I like you a lot βͺ βͺ But we know that you came
up from being a (beep) βͺ βͺ Now you on the stage fronting βͺ βͺ Like you really got talent βͺ βͺ That's the true definition
of a Bow Wow challenge βͺ (audience exclaims) - I thought y'all was friends. I thought y'all was friends. With friends like these,
who needs enemies? - Good thing I'm not a shady friend. Nick, bring your ass here. (audience laughs) Matter of fact, stop the beat. You already know what I'm about. - Her conceited, (beep). - You had to stop hip-hop
'cause your rhymes are trash, I'm back on "Love and Hip-Hop" 'cause my ass worth cash (beep). - Okay. (audience applauds) - Get them, Con. - Hey Con, you got a tattoo on your neck, a tattoo on your back,
a tattoo on your arm all scattered. You probably even got
a tattoo on your (beep) that says all sizes matter. (audience exclaims) - Hold on, hold on, hold on. An all sizes matter tattoo, now I'm lighting you fast, the only person that
should have that tattoo is you, right on your ass. (audience laughs) I mean, a white girl on the black team, I know that's a sad thing. If your ass was a TV, it
would be a flat screen. (audience laughs) - But it's good quality
flat screen, the picture. βͺ Big Mack, I know you
scared of a gym pass βͺ βͺ You so fast that you
deep brine your Tic Tacs βͺ βͺ You drink you gravy, but you
need to switch to Slim Fast βͺ βͺ You ain't got no bars but
all you eating is KitKat βͺ (audience exclaims) - I hope y'all heard that. βͺ Black team, I don't wanna lose you βͺ βͺ How we up here getting
killed by Timon and Pumbaa βͺ (audience applauds) - Oh Lord.
- Get her Con. - Oh no, no, no, no, no, hell no. (audience laughs) You still like coming at people, but all your rapping is bad, he did call you Ariel,
but he forgot to say you have Sebastian the crabs. - Well Con, that didn't really
hit as hard as you planned and you up here talking
like you are the man. If I'm Ariel, that might be true, but the whole crowd knows if I got crabs, I got them from you. (audience applauds) βͺ Respect us or get murked βͺ βͺ I don't know if I should kiss you βͺ βͺ Or plays checkers with your shirt βͺ βͺ You got a nice shape in the waist βͺ βͺ But besides D-Wrek and Nick βͺ βͺ Nobody wants your cake in their face βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Clips, why you acting like
you don't really wanna score βͺ βͺ Don't act like your fat ass βͺ βͺ Wasn't just eating
that cake off the floor βͺ βͺ Chill out, y'all some
young ass bastards βͺ βͺ And you see, this is a disaster βͺ βͺ If this was Sunday
school, I'd be the pastor βͺ βͺ Stop twerking in my church βͺ βͺ Little girl, you so nasty βͺ βͺ Let me go and twerk it βͺ βͺ What you talking about, let me murk it βͺ βͺ Work it, kick it and reverse it βͺ βͺ Let me fall back 'cause
you know I can hurt it βͺ (audience applauds) - I can't do that. βͺ Hey, with them shiny ass
boots on y'all tripping βͺ βͺ You heard of the city girls βͺ βͺ Well, these the welfare women βͺ βͺ But I got one more joke then it's over βͺ βͺ It look like y'all signed a
record deal with Fashion Nova βͺ (audience laughs) - Okay. βͺ You know I'm Asian, so
I love the duck sauce βͺ βͺ But I heard you like ranch βͺ βͺ 'Cause you like your salad tossed βͺ (audience exclaims) - Wait a minute. - That was a good one. βͺ
You be blowing up my phone βͺ βͺ Sending me late night texts βͺ βͺ But I refuse to smash (beep)
that be wearing barrettes βͺ (audience exclaims) - Will you smash me 'cause
I don't got no barrettes. (audience laughs) - Hey DC, come here. Hey, if y'all didn't know, this is Brooke Valentine, make
some noise for her one time. I'm Justina Valentine, okay? βͺ It's Brooke and Justina βͺ βͺ Y'all are just passengers βͺ βͺ We come through it's
Valentine Day Massacre βͺ βͺ DC, why you screaming thug life βͺ βͺ You look like the main
character from "A Bug's Life" βͺ (audience laughs) - Ant. βͺ Now look, cool, I'ma need my respect βͺ βͺ Look, this ain't got
nothing to do with you βͺ βͺ 'Cause you need to get your
damn relationship in check βͺ βͺ So listen up, listen white girl βͺ βͺ Why you coming to me βͺ βͺ I'ma tell you right now βͺ βͺ Your ass is ugly from
head to your feet βͺ βͺ DC, the truth is, I
think that you a bitch βͺ βͺ Atlanta, don't he look like the alien βͺ βͺ From "Lilo and Stitch" βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ I'm up here, and one more thing βͺ βͺ 'Cause of Nick I'm getting bread βͺ βͺ And you look just like a farmer βͺ βͺ 'Cause you only deal
with chicken heads βͺ βͺ I'm like, Conceited,
you gonna need some help βͺ βͺ You up here looking
like the Keebler's elf βͺ βͺ And DC, I walk how I'm talking it βͺ βͺ You look like a praying mantis
dipped in some chocolate βͺ βͺ And Cynthia, why are you bugging βͺ βͺ How you a house wife βͺ βͺ And you can't even keep no husband βͺ (audience exclaims) - I don't like how you
talked about my team earlier. Let me see something, you got next? βͺ Look, y'all think they
pretty but they not, y'all βͺ βͺ But I'm still trying to put
a lot of ketchup and mustard βͺ βͺ On this hot dog βͺ βͺ I'm like, ketchup and mustard βͺ βͺ No, I wouldn't yank it βͺ βͺ How you gonna fit all that βͺ βͺ In that little pig in a blanket βͺ - Jason Lee, come here real quick. Wait, hold on. βͺ I'ma show how to do you βͺ βͺ Look y'all, it's Timon and Pumbaa βͺ (buzzer buzzes) Wait, hold up. βͺ You say you always with Cardi B βͺ βͺ But I know your ass gay
'cause you always on Cardi's D βͺ (buzzer buzzes)
(audience exclaims) - Let me talk to B. Simone real quick. - Oh, get her. - Let me talk to her real quick. βͺ Damn, you still single,
let's put it to the end βͺ βͺ For a small fee, baby girl,
I can be your boyfriend βͺ (audience exclaims) (buzzer buzzes) - No. All right, hold on. - Shiggy said (beep) you. βͺ Shiggy, you two uglies, not just one βͺ βͺ With a body like that βͺ βͺ You'd be nothing but my son βͺ (audience exclaims) - Yo, I want B. All right, say it with me. βͺ You're my boyfriend βͺ βͺ Them (beep) don't even like you βͺ βͺ How you let them beat down your walls βͺ βͺ And they still don't wife you βͺ (audience exclaims) - Real personal. βͺ Y'all give it up for
this flake back Chyna βͺ βͺ When your man want fish,
he (beep) your vagina βͺ (audience exclaims) - Damn. - DJ, can you cut the beat real quick? (audience applauds) - Conceited ain't even here. - So Nick, I've been a fan of
this show for quite some time mostly 'cause of this red-headed dime who murders with these rhymes. (audience applauds) I used to think that you were so fine until I turned on my TV
and I saw "Drumline." (audience exclaims) I'm not done yet with you, boy. - That was fire. - Hold up. - But I really gotta know what
else you're known for lately 'cause the only thing I know you for is making Mariah Carey's babies. (audience exclaims) Tell me something, Nick, did she even let you pitch 'cause from the Internet's point of view you were just her little bitch. (audience exclaims) (audience applauds) βͺ Yo Nick, you think you
G-Unit, I know you lying βͺ βͺ Well for 50 cent, my
shooters will get Nick βͺ βͺ Or die trying βͺ βͺ And you need to stop this βͺ βͺ 'Cause you look like a
sexy flight attendant βͺ βͺ That spent a day on a cockpit βͺ - Yo, what up? Step up, (beep). (beep) outta here. - Let me talk to Hitman. Hitman, oh my gosh. βͺ Your mustache looks
like a line of ants βͺ βͺ But I bet it's bigger than
the line in your pants βͺ (audience exclaims) Okay, okay. βͺ Your smile is wack, your
teeth are so fake and white βͺ βͺ They make me look Black βͺ (audience applauds) - What is going on? These white people are whooping our ass. What kind of reverse Jordan Peele (beep) is going on? βͺ You said my teeth so white
it make you look Black βͺ βͺ Well your ass so flat it
make Justina's look fat βͺ - Thank you. David, come here. - These white people are whooping our ass. βͺ David, I can tell that you seem mad βͺ βͺ You look like you only
three days out of rehab βͺ βͺ And DC, now I'm not hating βͺ βͺ But your shorts are so tight βͺ βͺ It's like your balls suffocating βͺ βͺ And V, I hit you with the one, two βͺ βͺ Call you pretty V 'cause
the V is pretty run through βͺ βͺ And Shula got his shirt on βͺ βͺ 'Cause he don't have abs βͺ βͺ Why you dressed for the beach
when you already have crabs βͺ (audience exclaims) (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) βͺ We on "Wild 'N Out" so I
guess that's why you wilding βͺ βͺ That's why Gucci gonna drop you βͺ βͺ From the label before
he drop your album βͺ (audience laughs) - Okay, he gonna drop me? Okay. βͺ I'm a young ass bitch and I'm only 22 βͺ βͺ I just signed for a million βͺ βͺ (beep) what about you βͺ (audience exclaims) - Hold on. - A million in my bank account. βͺ You signed for a milli, way to go βͺ βͺ Too bad I made that
(beep) like 10 years ago βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Why are you so angry βͺ βͺ That's no way to talk to a lady βͺ βͺ Aw, somebody need to burp this baby βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ More short jokes, boy,
you better stop it βͺ βͺ When you get home βͺ βͺ You gonna take your shoulders off βͺ βͺ And hang them in the closet βͺ (audience laughs) - Chyna, real quick, baby. βͺ Hey yo, Chyna, you ain't
beef for this battling βͺ βͺ You went and bagged the
least famous Kardashian βͺ βͺ With all that plastic
who's gonna smash βͺ βͺ Your body recyclable
but your career is trash βͺ (audience exclaims) - But you ain't got no ass. (audience exclaims) βͺ You stepping up to me,
now don't even bother βͺ βͺ You haven't been
popping in these streets βͺ βͺ Since I was a toddler βͺ (audience laughs) - That's very mean. - Come here, Amber. Since you wanna be on the show. Let me show you what I do. βͺ Look, I'm with the red team, shorty βͺ βͺ And this ain't your thing, shorty βͺ βͺ You a "Wild 'N Out" and it's sadness βͺ βͺ 'Cause the whole damn you
show you ain't got no talent βͺ (audience exclaims) - [Woman] Come on, Amber. βͺ Yeah, DC, I know you a star βͺ βͺ But you only 15 pounds βͺ βͺ I gotta walk you to the car βͺ (audience laughs) - No, stay right there,
DC, with your ugly ass. (audience exclaims) The whole squad. βͺ Look, you got on red and green βͺ βͺ Looking like Christmas, that's a fact βͺ βͺ But those little (beep) are
presents we will never unwrap βͺ βͺ And DC, you know I'm not your friend βͺ βͺ You got on camouflage βͺ βͺ 'Cause with roaches you
always gonna blend in βͺ (audience exclaims) - All right, all right, all right. βͺ Listen, I hear you talking βͺ βͺ And you're talking that stuff βͺ βͺ But you shouldn't have
wore a see-through dress βͺ βͺ 'Cause bitch, I see your gut βͺ (audience laughs) (buzzer buzzes) - All right, red squad. βͺ I got the harmony, so
I'ma need all the room βͺ βͺ If y'all sing you're gonna
need a lot of auto tune βͺ βͺ One scrub, two scrub,
three scrub, four βͺ βͺ You looking like a janitor βͺ βͺ That's mopping up the floor βͺ βͺ Five scrub, six scrub,
seven scrub, eight βͺ βͺ Hitman never caught a body,
Con never caught a case βͺ βͺ I'll put you in your place βͺ βͺ Yeah, I'm talking all of you βͺ βͺ How we the girl squad and
got more balls than you βͺ βͺ Y'all are not stars βͺ βͺ I'll single-handedly damage
you with philanthropy βͺ βͺ Run and tell them I got bars βͺ βͺ Pretty boy, sissy
boy, tell me I'm pushy βͺ βͺ How y'all the boy squad
but still so pussy βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ V, I mean her (beep) is different βͺ βͺ The way she play with my (beep) βͺ βͺ I thought spaghetti did it βͺ βͺ Slash your face and said Freddy did it βͺ (audience laughs) - Santwon, baby. βͺ Santwon, you an over achiever βͺ βͺ You tried out for the
football team as wide receiver βͺ βͺ Then you changed your profession βͺ βͺ Give me an A, give me a B βͺ
βͺ Since you're a cheerleader βͺ βͺ We know everybody gave you the D βͺ (audience exclaims) Where Roble at? I need my chef in front. βͺ Hey yo, Roble, I'ma
step to you on the scene βͺ βͺ Since you a chef I'ma have
to cook the whole team βͺ βͺ Black squad, guarantee
you gonna need some help βͺ βͺ Big Mack will eat the whole menu βͺ βͺ Plus the menu itself βͺ βͺ And Jason Lee, we all
know that you sweet βͺ βͺ You stick away from fish βͺ βͺ But you choking on meat βͺ βͺ I'ma stay in the kitchen
'cause they needed me there βͺ βͺ And Rip Micheals likes
(beep) cooked medium rare βͺ (audience exclaims) βͺ Yo Bobby, you gotta be bothered βͺ βͺ With the face of a father
and the body of a toddler βͺ βͺ You probably need your momma βͺ βͺ 'Cause you a little chump βͺ βͺ This what your baby look like βͺ βͺ When you just get a little pump βͺ (audience exclaims) - All right, all right, all right. βͺ You got me good with
the body of a toddler βͺ βͺ But let's be real βͺ βͺ You the one that got
the face of a father βͺ (audience exclaims) - My makeup's not good? Okay. - Not all baby, you look like It. βͺ That was cute, but your
rhymes are never too tight βͺ βͺ Career's like your body,
it'll never reach new heights βͺ βͺ I bet not a single
person here follows you βͺ βͺ Pre (beep) baby, your mom
should've swallowed you βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Look Shula, you are not no prize βͺ βͺ It look like you about to
leap with them bullfrog eyes βͺ βͺ And Jay got a man, it must be pretend βͺ βͺ You got a Biz Markie
face so you just a friend βͺ (audience exclaims) - Yo listen, wait a minute. βͺ Justina, I would dis you βͺ βͺ But you probably
wouldn't understand me βͺ βͺ Unless I change my voice like yours βͺ βͺ And sound more manly βͺ (audience laughs) - Okay, all right, look. βͺ You talk about my voice
wanna cook me with this βͺ βͺ I'd rather sound like a
man than look like a bitch βͺ (audience exclaims) Hey yo, DJ D-Wrek, cut the beat. (audience applauds) Hey yo, Bobby, I bet you
used a shoebox as a bed, you're so short, you
gotta stand on your toes just to give a (beep). And Mimi, you trifling, you got so much plastic in your ass, I could bring you to
the curb for recycling. (audience laughs) And DC, I bet you rocking some long Johns, you're so thin, you could be
the thong in "The Thong Song." (audience laughs) βͺ Wild style βͺ βͺ Let's go βͺ βͺ Wild style βͺ βͺ Hey Justina, they want me
to come at your brutally βͺ βͺ Let's flip the script and
kill them off with unity βͺ βͺ Unity, cool, then
it's gonna be a eulogy βͺ βͺ Battery up in my back
'cause now you fueling me βͺ βͺ Battery up in her back,
I got her gassed up βͺ βͺ Gassed up, I'ma go leave
all these (beep) gassed up βͺ βͺ Gassed up, I got my D
tucked and my strap tucked βͺ βͺ Strap tucked, I'ma tell the
team they need to back up βͺ βͺ We on the scene βͺ βͺ Look at me βͺ βͺ Feeling clean βͺ βͺ You
know I'm bad like Mike βͺ βͺ I call her Billie Jean βͺ βͺ Come together βͺ βͺ We go in the chatter βͺ βͺ I'm rolling with my sis,
I said Trans Lives Matter βͺ (audience applauds) (bell dinging) βͺ Hey yo, Jessie, you know
that we stuck like glue βͺ βͺ And even after this, you
still gonna be my boo βͺ βͺ I got one thing to say βͺ βͺ Okay, maybe two βͺ βͺ You ain't never in your life βͺ βͺ Made a (beep) say woo βͺ (audience exclaims) - DJ D-Wrek, (speaking foreign language). - That means cut the beat in Haitian. - Hey yo, Amber, how
could you come for me? You know rapping ain't my ministry. Me never making (beep) scream. Hitman, holler at me one time. - Bring the beat back! (audience applauds) βͺ Wild Style βͺ βͺ Revolution, we making a movie βͺ βͺ Y'all got no juice but
y'all definitely fruity βͺ βͺ Y'all a mess, bullet proof vest βͺ βͺ Just so Santwon could
(beep) on your chest βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Don't go to the clinic, come to me βͺ βͺ Give me your hand, I'll
tell you all you need βͺ βͺ I know you read that book Kama Sutra βͺ βͺ Bitch, STD free is not in your future βͺ βͺ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ - Your topic is break ups. βͺ Hey, since we broke up
you done got thicker βͺ βͺ Your edges done came in βͺ βͺ Your booty got bigger βͺ βͺ My booty got bigger,
Carlos stop playing βͺ βͺ But I ain't gonna lie, I got a new man βͺ βͺ You got a new man, we
broke up last weekend βͺ βͺ All that could mean is
your ass was cheating βͺ βͺ Cheating, no, that was you βͺ βͺ 'Cause cheating is something
that women don't do βͺ (audience applauds) βͺ Kill it and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ - Your topic is Drake. βͺ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ βͺ Y'all know I love Drake as you can see βͺ βͺ Just go on IG, he just followed me βͺ βͺ He just followed you,
is that what I'm seeing βͺ βͺ Shoot your shot inside of his DMs βͺ βͺ Boy, slide in this DM, I already did βͺ βͺ I sent a video and he posted it βͺ βͺ He reposted it, damn, that was quick βͺ βͺ If he hits you back
you gonna let him hit βͺ βͺ Might let him hit βͺ βͺ And I'm about to make
Drake my boyfriend βͺ (audience applauds) - Your topic is catfish. βͺ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ βͺ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ βͺ You are a catfish and that is a fact βͺ βͺ You lied to me, girl,
and said your ass was fat βͺ βͺ Yeah, I got ass, you know I got plenty βͺ βͺ But (beep) you lied,
you said you was skinny βͺ βͺ If you wasn't lying,
I'd be your fiance βͺ βͺ What happened to you, you
don't look like Beyonce βͺ βͺ Look like Beyonce, boy, you so fake βͺ βͺ You lied to my face and
said you look like Drake βͺ βͺ Look at my face, I do look like Drake βͺ βͺ If he ate steak and
gained hella weight βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ Pick up and kill it
and kill it and kill it βͺ - Gotta pick up my son from school. Con, get in. (audience laughs) - I'm saying, you gonna
give me the box or what? (audience laughs) I do. (audience applauds) - Just started my period. - Girl, this blood ain't
gonna stop nothing. (audience laughs) - Push! βͺ I'm on this bull ain't got no fear βͺ βͺ DJ D-Wrek got some big ass ears βͺ βͺ And you heard what I said βͺ βͺ Tyga, if you free,
you can get up in bed βͺ βͺ Man, I'm about to go to court βͺ βͺ Oh, let's put stamps on my passport βͺ (audience laughs) (audience applauds) βͺ Why you bull spitting βͺ βͺ Look, I am not your father βͺ βͺ Come up in this (beep)
and get up in this water βͺ βͺ I'm rocking like a frog βͺ βͺ Hop, hop, stop, stop, with
the bunny pop pop, bitch βͺ (audience applauds) - My man Dwight is so fly. - [Audience] How fly is he? - I'm about to let him put
the Dwight around my lips. (audience applauds) My guy Nick Cannon is so fly. - [Audience] How fly is he? - That when he sits down
in between his girl's legs to get his hair braided, he faces her so he can have a snack and get his hair done
at the same damn time. (audience applauds) - That's what I'm talking about. - Are you ready, bro? - Yeah, okay. - [Both] Nicolas Cannon is so (beep) fly. - [Audience] How fly is he? - He paid off my student loans. - And he paid for my new boobs. - And he got me a Chanel bag.
- Got my a Baby Phat bag. - Bitch, whose room was he in last night? - Are you (beep) me, ask him. - Nick, who's your favorite? (buzzer buzzes) - [Both] Go Toros! (audience laughs) - Give me B. Simone. (audience applauds) - Give me Cortez. Okay, let's keep it clean,
B. Simone, you ready? - I'm ready. - Cortez, you ready? - I'm ready. - You old my body is in elementary but my head is in high
school, head ass boy. - If you don't get your I'm still looking for
my boyfriend ugly ass. (audience exclaims) - You old where are my
glasses, these are prescribed, head ass boy. - If you don't get your- - Out! - [Audience] Got damned! (audience applauds) - Give me B. Simone. (audience applauds) - Give me Hitman Holla. (audience applauds) B. Simone, you ready? - Mm-hmm.
- Hitman, you ready? (audience laughs) - Man, at this point, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had them
teeth head ass boy. - Speaking of teeth, you built
like a rotten wisdom tooth. (audience laughs) - Y'all look at Hitman
Holla standing there looking like a pack of soy
sauce, Rice, come here. (audience laughs) - You, out! Let's keep it going, okay. Give me DC Young Fly. (audience applauds) Give me B. Simone. (audience applauds) B. Simone, you ready?
- I'm ready. - DC Young Fly, you ready?
- You ready. - DC, you the only gangster
from Atlanta with asthma my west side is the best side, hold on y'all let me treat my asthma. (audience laughs) - I do got asthma, but guess what, when you wake up in the morning, your (beep) yawn like this. (inhaler sprays) (audience laughs) - Yo, let me talk. (whistle blows) - Hey, hey, hey, hey! One hitter quitter, TKO, you out! - [Audience] Got damned. - Give me B. Simone. (audience applauds) Give me DC Young Fly. (audience applauds) B. Simone, you ready?
- I'm ready. - DC Young Fly, you ready?
- I'm ready. - You old would you like to
save $100 on your car insurance lizard looking ass boy. - Y'all know what time it is, bring that ass here, boy. Girl, your ass built like a
stanking ass Christmas stocking, ugly ass girl. (audience laughs) - DC, I know when you was in school you could read the cat and
the dog, sound it out, DC head ass boy. (audience laughs) - Girl, your ass built like the teacher off "Jimmy Neutron." Ugly ass girl. - Boy, your legs are shaped like sticks. When your girl is cold all you gotta do is rub
your knees together. (audience laughs) - I bet when you wake up, I bet your wig get stuck
in the pillow, stupid ass. (audience laughs) And you go back and get it, ugly ass girl. (audience laughs) - Out! - [Audience] Got damned! - You know what, B.
Simone, I really like you. You supposed to go first? - Bitch, go. - Okay then. (audience laughs) I really like B. Simone and all, but I ain't gonna lie to you, sis, you ain't found a boyfriend yet 'cause you're shaped like a
convenience store hot dog. (audience exclaims) - I know she not talking about shade, this big bitch up here
looking like a linebacker with a lace front on. (audience exclaims) - Well, her name is B. Simone, but she really just the B version of me. (audience exclaims) - Hold up, y'all, look at her shoes, she got fire on her shoes, it
really should be on her vagina 'cause we know you burning. (audience exclaims) - You, out! - [Audience] Got damned! (bell dinging)
(audience applauds) - Hitman, first your teeth
was small now they large, baby boy, they didn't
have those in a medium? (audience applauds) - You, out! - [Audience] Got damned! - TKO. - You the frustrated stripper. βͺ Eat that ass up, eat that ass up βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ This is my girl Shay βͺ βͺ And honestly before her I wasn't gay βͺ βͺ But Shay, I think I'm about to leave βͺ βͺ 'Cause you keep stealing all my weave. βͺ βͺ I ain't lonely no more, I'm booed up βͺ (buzzer buzzes) βͺ I ain't lonely no more, yo, who's up βͺ βͺ This is my man, we
was friends at first βͺ βͺ But now he lick it like a Starburst βͺ βͺ But I think he about to leave me alone βͺ βͺ 'Cause when we have sex
I do the B. Simone tone βͺ (audience laughs) βͺ I ain't lonely no more, I'm booed up βͺ βͺ I ain't lonely no more, yo, who's up βͺ βͺ B. Simone is my boo, got her to myself βͺ βͺ When I'm with her, feel
like I got some wealth βͺ βͺ Boy, I'm leaving you 'cause
you little like an elf βͺ βͺ And getting with him 'cause
he can reach the shelf βͺ βͺ I ain't lonely no more, I'm booed up βͺ - [Nick] The B. Simone tone. - Miami, bitch. βͺ Look, woo woo, that ass too fat βͺ βͺ I'm the baddest bitch the 305 seen yet βͺ βͺ Sex so good you better admit that βͺ βͺ You ain't my daddy, Nick βͺ βͺ Where the hell Trick at βͺ - Trina! - Your topic is dating. βͺ I'm trying to hit βͺ
βͺ I'm trying to hit βͺ βͺ I'm trying to hit βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ Am I gonna feel it βͺ βͺ Am I gonna feel it βͺ βͺ Am I gonna feel it βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ You gonna split the bill βͺ βͺ You gonna split the bill βͺ βͺ You gonna split the bill βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ Where my side man at βͺ βͺ Where my side man at βͺ βͺ Where my side man at βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ - All right. βͺ Now you wild out βͺ - Your topic is Instagram βͺ I'm sliding in the DMs βͺ βͺ Sliding in the DMs βͺ βͺ Sliding in the DMs βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ I'ma block your ass βͺ βͺ I'ma block your ass βͺ βͺ I'ma block your ass βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ βͺ I ain't want you anyway βͺ βͺ I ain't want you anyway βͺ βͺ I ain't want you anyway βͺ βͺ Now you wild out βͺ - Asshole. (audience applauds) - ATL, turn up. - [Audience] Turn up for what? - 'Cause I got a mother (beep) sugar daddy and he works in production, so I get all the TV time, hey baby. (audience applauds) βͺ He like chocolate, he like chocolate βͺ - Groupies say this. - The lady, man. (audience laughs) - What is (gulps). (audience exclaims) - Hey, that's real life. βͺ It's my birthday βͺ βͺ It's my birthday βͺ βͺ My name is B, I'm cashing checks βͺ βͺ Baby boys love me, no gag reflex βͺ βͺ It's my birthday βͺ - We got our suggestions from online using that hashtag #wildnout and red squad our beef is
our ex keep calling us. All right, black squad, this is what people want,
they love Carlos Miller, they love his saying, #blackmendontcheat. And Ne-Yo is all about being a good man and he married, so this
is gonna be a good song, I got a feeling. - All right, red squad, wild out. (audience applauds) - Don't y'all hate when
y'all break up with somebody and they just keep calling. - Yes. - They just get real annoying. You gotta let them know you
don't want them no more, right, Eman? - You right. - You're my boyfriend. (audience laughs)
- [Nick] Oh, here she go. - You know what, you probably
the ex that keep calling you (beep) 'cause you ain't got one. You know what, this about you. Drop the beat. (audience applauds) - This for B. Simone and all the ladies. - I can get a man if I want one. - We gonna sing it to you like this βͺ B. Simone need a boyfriend βͺ βͺ So you better get a toy then βͺ βͺ Talk to them βͺ βͺ B. Simone keep calling
and calling and calling me βͺ βͺ She calling me βͺ βͺ Calling me, calling me, calling me βͺ βͺ Who you with βͺ βͺ Calling me, calling me, calling me βͺ βͺ Call me back βͺ βͺ Calling me, calling me, calling me βͺ βͺ So annoying βͺ βͺ I told my last man I was grown βͺ βͺ So he better make me moan βͺ βͺ But then he blocked me on his phone βͺ βͺ 'Cause I kept doing the B. Simone tone βͺ βͺ He got three kids βͺ βͺ He don't got no where to live βͺ βͺ Since he don't know you wear a wig βͺ βͺ This one, he got a little (beep) βͺ βͺ She gonna need a vibrator βͺ βͺ Vibrator βͺ βͺ Need a vibrator βͺ βͺ Need a vibrator βͺ βͺ B. Simone need a boyfriend βͺ (bell dinging)
(air horn) (audience applauds) βͺ She so annoying βͺ - Let me get B. Simone and Zo, man, come on up here, Zo. - Zo, nobody wants to be your man 'cause when your crush sees you he be like, hey friend. Uh uh, that was good. (audience laughs) - Look, I got you, Zo. - Talk that. - Look, these wack (beep) got old flow, Zo, it's like we iPhones and they beepers T, why your body is on 10 but that face on Jeepers Creepers. (audience applauds) I know you my (beep), I don't really wanna start no trouble, but she only on this show in case they need a B.
Simone stunt double. (audience applauds) - I tried out. - Y'all look like something
we should see after dark. You like a crack head auntie, and you Jurassic Park. (audience exclaims) Okay? - Bust them up again, T. - So don't come for me.
- Wait a minute. You smell that? Y'all something is fishy in the air, because T, we know your whole body faker than Donald Trump's hair. - Look, when me and Zo hit the stage, we some "Wild 'N Out" blessings. When T and V hit the stage, everybody smell yeast infections. (audience applauds) - I took my pill. - Ladies, I need your help, you're my- - [Audience] Boyfriend. - [V] Nobody in the crowd knew that. - Hold on, the whole
world know my tag line, y'all so ugly that your boyfriend only wanna hit it from behind. (audience applauds)
(air horn) - Not with that shade.
