Best of Tom Haverford | Parks and Recreation

hey good news I think I found a job there was an opening for a janitor at the TV station get this they're gonna pay me the minimum wage put your mop down bud I got you the rights to Johnny karate no way how it's just a great agent I guess good job she lives in Chicago and she's still dating someone do you want to eat in my restaurant for free and every week you get to come once a week okay fine just stop this is the hottest restaurant in LA all the sushi is made from fish previously owned by celebrities okay this is Charlie's their owns yellowtail here we have Paul Reiser's salmon and Peter Bogdanovich's saltwater eel enjoy man you got it bad I know you're checking your phone every five minutes to see if Lucy will come with you to my wedding I'm sorry hey I understand which is why I got you something Hey you're not supposed to get me anything this is your special day I didn't buy you anything what I have for you is a piece of advice ah damn I'm secretly hoping you got me the shoes Jane Smith wears and hitch to son of a hitch my advice to you is if you want to be with Lucy you have to be up front with her about it be a man and ask her out she works for me she uprooted her whole life to move to Pawnee for this job I don't want to make it weird and what if she says no what if I'm the only one the cop feelings you won't know until you ask basically Tommy when it comes to matters of the heart I say treat yourself thanks Donna it's a great gift I almost forgot I did get you names - spits - oh snap that's what even better gift that's not all look behind you but don't be obvious could I get the me soft-shell crab josh groban he's eaten his own so she doesn't want baller thing I've ever seen I got my cold bTW my cold scarf I got the coats grill going and the crowning glory cold slippies how you gonna run a nose run Tommy doesn't run that's your guys's job now uh let's go fetch his football throw fellas I love sports check it out tom the Eagleton reservoir isn't it stunning just a big dumb pond this morning I saw a YouTube clip of a little puppy riding a motorcycle so my bar for studying is pretty high what if I told you that this water has fluoride in it then I would tell you the puppy had a little sidecar with a piggy in it named Hampton first of all send me a link to that video well one of the funner things that we do here in Pawnee is the annual Easter egg hunt Tom hides the eggs and I have to say he did an exceptional job this year I've been searching for 25 minutes and I haven't found a single egg and I'm an adult oh yeah I forgot to do that maybe Tom's trying to make this year a challenge and if so he's he's succeeding I don't think a single egg has been found yet let's keep looking we're gonna find one okay I'm thinking we junk everything except the mannequins Ron's got to see how dope the outfits are that's the business why are we going to Ron Ron should be coming to us we created entertainment720 was a huge failure look a banks not gonna give us a loan and Ron loves my entrepreneurial spirit trust me he's our best chance of getting startup money I hear that let's go clubbing no we got to work didn't you hear me say we had a junk most of the presentation Tommy I will always be there for you no matter what the right now I cannot be there for you because I have to go I hate to say this but sometimes you got to work a little so you can ball a lot I was beautiful that changed me I'll give you ten minutes what's that John go to lunch I know you fed one of JJ's you go anywhere your choice I'm buying can I get absent Sert's Sert's are what I call desserts tray trays or entrees I call sandwiches sammies sandals or Adam Sandler's air conditioners are cool blasters well dizzy I don't know where that came from I call cakes big old cookies I call noodles long-ass rice fried chicken is fry fried chicken chicken parm is chicky-chicky palm Braham she can catch a Torre chickie catch I call eggs pre birds or future Birds root beer is super water tortillas are being blankies and I call forks food rakes yeah you can get as many desserts as you want well let's get in my goggle 'mobile car my restaurant opens in six weeks and I'm making sure I get every detail right this is the hardest I've worked on anything since wow I never worked hard on anything what a cool life akaash buddy of course I came to you first you're the best carpet man in Pawnee but here's my question do your carpets match your drapes how do you make any event classy on a budget red carpet my entire apartment is red carpet on top of that leading into my bedroom a second red carpet oh what's this in my shoe red carpet insole everywhere I go I'm walking on red carpet is there even enough room for everyone here sit on my lap no that's humiliating Kelly sit on Andy's laughs no that's champion spot he called it Tom we're already late be a man and sit on that girl's lap yes sir hey to wake up man morning tom Twilight is dope I told you I couldn't put it down it was like she was peering into my soul sing it friend here book to Twilight hit the new moon get crackin there's second book and a third and a fourth no way I don't know what to do I could take the offer and break even but I've come so far Ron can you put some more tiny marshmallows in my hot doggy thank you if there was something I could do for you I would maybe you should try taking a walk out of my office [Music] what Watson blue what is blue sh blue she's a weekly lifestyle email written by Annabel Porter she used to be the face of the Eagleton phonebook then she moved to Hollywood to pursue her dream of becoming friends with a bunch of celebrities then she moved back to become a lifestyle guru she's legit she spent four months living in Kate Bosworth house Ron Swanson design chair is the must-have item of the season along with red quinoa wind therapy and buying an island Anabel says that buying an island is the only real way to know that your goji berry farm its pesticide free I've been trying to get rent-a-swag in bloosh for months and now you got in I can get in - congratulations Rob we did it someone's getting a new leather jacket I don't want a leather jacket I don't leave me a failure again Ron there's no shame in failure if you gave it an honest effort easy for you to say people are dying to give you money for your business and you didn't even take it I didn't sell my cheers to that website because I value my name I mean the only thing that's important at the end of the day is what's on your gravestone your name my gravestones gonna be a 60 inch touchscreen with a hologram of for me sitting in the end of the road by boys to men but point taken and I'm reading this I'm like how could they hurt those gorillas like that there's such gentle magnificent creatures you know I'm an animal lover I don't know hey I am whining you keep this bottle cap so you always remember me and the first time we met classic gang plant the seed harvest like a half-hour later did I give you a bottle cap excuse me did I give you a bottle cap what did I give any you guys a bottle cap you sure you're talking about that too hey I hate to settle my bill from last night Tom Haverford okay wow you had 47 drinks last night ten cosmos eight Smirnoff ices and everything else starts with the word pomegranate oh is it your bachelor party no I invited a bunch of girls here last night and they all put drinks on my tab and then I went home alone I'm not sure what happened you invited a bunch of girls here and then you tried it in all them fair enough I mean what were you expecting was gonna happen a43 way that woulda been a little out of control but awesome yeah the problem is only had 15 penises so there'd have been 28 girls that were really upset with me all right well thanks hey uh would you want to get a drink tomorrow night does it have to be here no I'm sure I'm Lucy let me give you my phone number [Music]

Channel: Parks and Recreation

Views: 1,206,595

Keywords: Parks And Rec, Chris Pratt, Amy Poehler, Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson, Parks And Rec Bloopers, Parks and Recreation, Andy Dwyer, April Ludgate, Leslie and Ben, Tom Haverford, Aziz Ansari, Masters of none, NBC, SNL, Saturday Night Live, Nick Offerman, Making it

Id: BcJaSl2UZcw

Length: 10min 1sec (601 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 17 2018