Best of Scott The Woz 2021

[Music] regardless it was releasing in 1995 so get your face ready it's the game boy and game boy color of course i will maintain i will admit the game boy and game boy color aren't separate systems and the color was just a mere refresh of the game boy when i'm dead and buried still not buried i just really needed to talk to somebody with a phd i don't have a phd they forgot the you you have fud i have fun hello i come from a time in which the term hey all scott here is banned cloud gaming has taken over millions are better off because of it companies are less wasteful with their products but i want a box with mario on it damn it so we have to stop this modern gaming something stinks all right i think it's time you guys ready to go this funeral let's [ __ ] do that if you were making a game for the playstation 2 gamecube or xbox you knew what to mention to make it it added to the amount of simple fun you could have with the nintendo dsi without even plugging in a game mainly because the software library was cut in half what do you call this it was the only cake i had the game boy advance slot was removed to maintain portability sure i want to lose weight i cut off my arm hey y'all scott here everybody please welcome my new assistant [Music] i can see why everybody said this game was bad the other physical release nintendo had this month was pokemon mystery dungeon rescue team dx what do you think i think i'm a simple man if i see a pokemon i'm going to squint hey all scott here it's 40 odd 90 and kids these days have it's so easy they only have to walk 20 miles in the snow to go to school oh yeah well i had to battle leprosy my favorite food is no indoor plumbing it's pretty tough living in this time period so hopefully in the future they'll have bathrooms and flying cars and mario power tennis with motion controls one of my favorite pastimes as a kid was to go to the dollar store i live in ohio your hobbies either that or getting shot i ordered it on amazon and they sent me a european copy do i look french no [ __ ] you i'm polish hey y'all scott here put on your 3d glasses right now because i'm about to be as realistic as ever i'm never gonna be truly happy the super nintendo has one of the greatest lineups of 2d platformers but that won't stop me from considering family feud to be one of my favorite games on the system what makes the soap moist name something kids use tonsils name something parents say from a first baby to use for a second name something that's often located in the basement of the house the basement name something people start but never finish me or books of faith hey y'all scott here i finally found a use for that 24 hours of spare time i just had it's all been building up to this i'm gonna be god the first 24 year old one to be exact i woke up yesterday and realized god can't die and i've never died before so my first order of business is to bring inanimate objects to life i decided to buy anything labeled as a toy at spencer's gifts not showing those i'm gonna give them mortality because damn it if you were god you would too uh how do i do now nintendo ds had a lot of potential for add-ons you can't look at this hole and not fill it like oh my god you could add anything here foot rest okay so we race and shoot at greasy steve you know steve you put yourself into these situations okay why do you have to raise you have guns you have knives you can kill jay conway right there but instead you decide it's more effective to kill a team member because they were about to tell jay conway why they were going to kill him rather than just killing j comey right there so no i'm sorry i can't get behind greasy steve hey y'all scott here i just got bread for a dollar that's one of my biggest fears was talking to somebody really liked them turned out they weren't a person they were just an affordable price i despise deals somebody offered me a tv for 20 i tucked them up to 40. so it's a good thing deals can't find me here that's why i boarded the doors it's their achilles heel i've known this for a while that's why i keep nailed water on my neck with all those deals out there i guess i just have to wait out the storm with games like sportsman's pack two great games hey y'all scott here let's rank our cousins well betty stinks that's great that man was born to be a cousin gary not worth the hype jeremiah the definitive cousin experience see i am completely unbiased when it comes to critiques if i can hit my cousin betty surely you can take my opinion on the virtual boy to heart oh my god other than spyro these are all basically original creations and some of these guys just look gross to me not in terms of being badly designed and more so i wouldn't want to be eating while looking at them they all look like they belong on a pack of mucinex and i don't get some of these names they're not even names one of them's named lightning rod his parents were dicks then you have wamshell trigger happy stump smash what the hell kind of a name is slam bam my [ __ ] name's jeb jab it released on october 18th and featured something new something revolutionary something we all can't live without lock on technology come on picture my life without this thing yes it was the answer to my conception i mean i find these types of games to be a little too simple and slow paced for my liking so you're gonna need a gimmick to make it work and toys for bob found it being wasteful you know i'll be honest i have been slacking off with wasting money lately i don't think i'm in my prime i need mentors to teach me how to be wasteful and appreciate a game that weighs so much plastic and money i was once a chaperone for school dances but then i realized i was contributing to society hi my name is jeb jeb and this right here is a piece of don't you want to be like me doing absolutely nothing in life so there's more less pressure to perform rexmos here and i do we're the waste chasers you're helping us by helping you be more wasteful from this job i bought 30 acres of farmland what are you gonna do with it we'll waste anything your time energy people but according to our lawyers we can't advertise murder on tv so i'm obligated to say that we're kidding call us now to schedule your appointment confirm it by wasting money sonic the hedgehog 4 was said to be this grand revival of classic sonic i mean come on it's in the title well when you put in like that but right at the end of march a rumor that loads of mario remasters and a new paper mario were coming the rumor initially stated how pretty much mario's entire back catalog of games were coming his entire back catalog in reality this just meant most of the 3d games were getting remasters and that got my mind racing could this mean that mario 64 will get a fully orchestrated soundtrack and mario odyssey level visuals and sunshine gets reworked and they fix up all of its little issues and galaxy and galaxy 2 get re-tooled to be perfectly playable with just button controls but also feature motion as an option as well and maybe mario 3d lane gets prettied up and has changes to accommodate the lack of 3d and 64 ds gets full analog control for the first time it was a fun five months before none of that happened a new paper mario though apparently it was going back to the series rpg roots yeah and i'm not sitting in what world does the amount of blood on a blade affect its stabbing ability try again donkey kong land it's donkey kong country on the go you know i just discovered i could take a [ __ ] on the go all i have to do is [ __ ] my pants and man i played it so much and i agree it's stunk it was a horrible gaming experience and wasted my time that i'll never get back and this entire time i realized i wasn't even playing the game i was just holding a beehive you know what i could afford the star i'm not gonna buy it i don't need it i have a mother who loves me damn it look at this donkey kong's gonna steal a star but that's a sin hey at least we know he's going to hell no i know how you feel i too was [ __ ] by an ape if you play as a different character you get different scenarios in the same environments we've already played in but i'll give them that variety is the spice of life and so are ass cracks so this game has it all for a hundred dollars you get an rc mario kart with your choice of mario or luigi you connect it to your switch and now your living room is a mario kart track but one will it learn to love but one game decided to do something innovative be the biggest example of false advertising of all time yeah i'm not really saying anything that has already been said here smallpox they [ __ ] stink if i had to guess i assume nintendo already figured this brand had somewhat negative effects on sales i guess this doesn't look very appealing and the name doesn't make me go here a fighter from arms okay we'll find out who it is in june oh i'll be damned you saved us all from immediate disappointment super punch-out's weird like the nes game is the most famous it's one of my favorites on that console but who the hell talks about the super nintendo one nothing wrong with it it's just the controls and sound effects don't feel as good as the original nes do anybody who disagrees i'll see you in court crucifixion's a bit harsh donkey kong country 3 the one i just can't own i've never legally owned this game if you don't believe me look through my tax records see no donkey this slot on top of giving us the ability to play game boy advance games completely revolutionized handheld peripherals you couldn't do this kind of stuff on the psp like the memory expansion pack [ __ ] you sony i just really want to play four swords adventures and i don't have a gamecube right now so maybe just this once i also killed a man you know what i really need to do is buy a 500 console alongside a 2 grand tv set by a 60 controller to play this free game for 60 oh [ __ ] brilliant air take it you son of a [ __ ] you rotten son of a [ __ ] that isn't an insult directed towards me per se well we get the drowning via quick time events too take your time you get up to certain parts where you need a specific skylander of a specific type none other can unlock the gate oh well that's a smart business move and a little bit of a hawaii i don't know discrimination first up dollar general you may know them as one of the most popular low-end variety stores in the country i know them as a place where they display condoms in a ninja turtles underwear box so you have the first three games on playstation then crash 4 on playstation 2 the wrath of cortex it wasn't numbered crash 4 here though it wasn't japan crash bandicoot 4 it's about time disregards all games following the third on playstation it's like the halloween movies you have the first one then a sequel to it then a third that has absolutely no connections the fourth is a sequel to the second then the seventh which regards everything after the second one with a sequel to it then the ninth one is a reboot with its own sequel followed up by the eleventh one which is a sequel to the first movie disregarding even the second one which got its own sequels it's just like crash bandicoot have you ever heard that a game that called itself the fourth entry to later on have another game consider itself to be the fourth entry who the hell cares double dragon four grasses was revealed for the switch you know this was the premier pc game back in 2007 if your computer could run this thing you were tough my nintendo switch can barely run a wwe game but now crisis is coming to it let's revolt [Music] i don't need a lawyer halloween it's my favorite time of year wednesday no 8pm thanks for decorating with me you never hear of a therapist that's willing to help their patient as long as we're still on the clock i don't mind well since you're already here guess who's your secret santa oh i hate riddles please guess i put money on your answer well if i guess right it wouldn't be a secret please it was me well i don't know any me's i know of you well he was your secret santa good i don't need my toes anyway oh how did my secret say no no well when you asked for water when you came in i knew it would be perfect [Music] i love it what else happened oh nintendo network ideas were compromised some actors got a hold of them but not all nintendo switch users have nintendo network ids if you created a nintendo network id on wii u and then use that to log into your nintendo switch then you should be worried [ __ ] the unit's powered through the controller too which is weird you can turn this thing on without the controller even the power buttons on it you can use an ac adapter or six double a batteries because nintendo kept claiming the virtual boy it was a portable device so was a house with six double a's the virtual boy lasts roughly four hours which is pretty bad by 1995 nintendo standards many attribute the excellent battery life of the gameboy to its success but it could have been more successful if it caused seizures nintendo had to cover their ass with this thing putting as many warnings as possible here basically if you had troubles with nausea motion sickness epilepsy i'm pretty sure your doctor already gave you a list of don't even think about it me personally the virtual boy doesn't give me a seizure it just makes me sad so what is it like playing one of these well line your eyes up with the two eye pieces and bam sweetest day is a celebration of having a second date to rub into the face of virginity think of it as an ohioan variation of valentine's day but in october if you already thought october was scary try mating apparently it's only observed in the great lakes region well here i am in lake erie i count [ __ ] phineas gave you long-lasting experiences each on their own cartridges some of which were high score based games straight out of the arcade but many were taking gaming to the next level rich stories new worlds you want to explore definitive endings just like a divorce clubhouse games 51 worldwide classics is phenomenal if you're not in the 30 hours plus club get the [ __ ] out of my face most flagship gaming franchises during this time felt the need to transition to 3d and 2d was seen as old news the only person that would care about them would be lincoln and he's dead it's obvious clubhouse was meant to satiate the desire for the wee series to come back but i don't think nintendo really wanted to do that and would rather push a franchise that doesn't have a dead console's name in its title they would rather not do that doesn't mean they won't hey all scott here i finally found my fourth calling in life a match made in heaven i finally opened up my own tattoo parlor welcome to the scab lab everything to yourself man skin well this is the place for all you tattoo chow hounds such as myself and if you're lucky you get your picture in the no infections club we give out free samples and if you don't like it i am so sorry for what i just did of course to prove how much i believe in our product i will give myself a sleeve i'm thinking blue today the business and i weren't a good fit you know what i'm gonna do it i did it the bayer digit blood glucose meter plugs into the gba slot naturally it is a glucose mater after all now i couldn't get diabetes in time to discuss how this actually works but i don't really need to it reads your blood sugar levels and is designed to give kids with diabetes more incentive to read them more often so alongside this device you get a diabetes term based rpg knock em down's world fair you get power ups in the game for checking your blood sugar levels the gba slot deserves an award there's so much you can do help with diabetes put the ds on a fridge [ __ ] with tony hawk the kingdom heart series finally got announced for switch via a rhythm game i'm so annoyed i can't be confused on the go the new smash brothers character from arms was revealed to be min-min a good choice she seemed to be the best candidate as spring man was already an assist trophy i don't care that people say there are no rules that say assist trophies can't get in i'm pretty send my way saying it says trophies can't become characters in the same game just wait until senate passes the bill family few decades name one of baseball's great all-time sluggers only baseball team i know harlem globetrotters is your answer there name a song made famous by elvis presley uh eek it's elvis name a game that all the kids in the neighborhood can play together polyamory unfortunately the nintendo dsi shop closed on march 31st 2017. oh however most of the dsiware games released are available in the nintendo 3ds eshop huh just looking up dsi where they all are let's take a look at a good chunk of the releases starting with a launch title for the dsi shop warioware snapped he just [ __ ] lost it now this game is sort of the punching bag and nintendo's early titles generally considered one of their worst i don't think it's that bad i mean i wouldn't willingly play it but i'd so rather endure this than most of the nes black box sports titles everybody gets pac-man too because i'm human rights oh for the love of god i was supposed to get robbed tomorrow danny well my evening opened up what am i gonna do now i can't go hey y'all scott here i don't own lasagna world tour false alarm i lost everything except what the robber decide to leave i wonder why only two whole months after reveal paper mario the origami king released to reception the general consensus on this one is that it was okay not perfect but definitely a step in the right direction compared to the last two games interesting way to say it ruined my lunch and one of my favorite things about these multipacks is seeing what kind of menu system they put in place to select the games [ __ ] me i have never found a mate that can do this he can't even play multiplayer not only is it not an option there was never a virtual boy link cable released they went to all that trouble of making this port they can't let it go to waste i keep all my spices here weirdly enough various market materials and commercials for mario's tennis claim it does have a multiplayer mode but i refuse to look any further i don't have anywhere else for my spices there is this rumor going around the spanish dub of breath of the wild 2 was complete which implied the game was close to releasing yeah and i'm still not sitting nintendo loves re-releases they would release jesus christ if they could but see you could have just re-released all of your gamecube games on the way because we could already play gamecube discs if you were going to re-release a game you had to re-release it for a good reason and out of lust doesn't count nintendo's solution the new play control line nintendo that's your solution to everything that's fair it's a smart business practice might not be the most ethical in the world but hey i fall for it every time and i know exactly what they're doing which doesn't mean i fall for it just means i'm a [ __ ] pretty much with all these i see no point to them i feel like they raise more questions than answers especially the mini xbox one download code boxes little key ring size plastic boxes containing nothing but a download code and will eventually be the main source of ocean pollution they are the cutest possible way to kill a seal glover can you believe i have a room for a game i never played what do you mean yes yoshi's story is this bizarre take on a yoshi's island successor it's still pretty good but it's so similar yet so different from any other yoshi game you gotta eat fruit you don't just get to the end of level just do what my dietitian said and eat 30 fruit so we gotta just find 30 pieces of fruit and then we move on to the next level it's kind of an interesting direction hopefully the next yoshi game does something just as unique the same thing are good jesus you know this brand new system is getting delayed left and right these other guys are making us look weak in comparison with their shiny new consoles we gotta just throw something at the wall see what sticks well that doesn't now these are just patronizing commercials that have no idea who the audience for nintendo directs and treehouse streams are me's i just don't get it like why is it here why is this border always been a part of my life why can't i escape it why doesn't anybody else see it maybe you need to relax how about a nice pillow to the face that's killing me oh i'm sorry maybe a gun to your head won't take your mind off thing they're the exact same games but the japanese version has far more cartoony character designs i'm sure they wanted this to be a more mature traditional baseball game here in the west appealing to the everyman i'm no see i want a realistic baseball game for my one video game console the virtual boy [Music] and we're just gonna stand for that we have a chance for revenge it's a one versus three mini game oh my god we're on his side i don't wanna be in the history books all right look away we just have to look in the opposite direction of luigi [Music] no you can't use my shower yeah it turns out two-thirds of this room are [ __ ] morons [Music] yeah so which one of us are part of the two but you aren't doing anybody a service by leaking when a nintendo direct is coming all you do is set expectations too high and then yell at people for having expectations so high well then don't leak nintendo direct info oh wow you get all this fame from telling people you heard other people tell you that must feel so gratifying now wait right here as i research the history of wii u rumors and leaks in the early days of the nintendo 3ds nintendo announced a new line of titles dubbed the 3d classic series retro games remastered with 3d in mind released exclusively on the nintendo 3ds eshop throughout 2011 and 2012 for roughly five to seven bones of pop this is such a cool idea imagine the possibilities this line can truly go on forever they can include some of the greatest games of all time i [ __ ] love this company we've all seen those fast food comparison shots this is what's advertised and this is what i got what the hell listen i never even heard of this game prior to launch i have no expectations going into this which means i should play through it all i am the prime specimen to do such thing go ahead test me you can't win them all but that doesn't mean i'm not gonna do it i still haven't been ocarina of time so you know what that means i'm gonna beat right to hell retribution some developers are shown in a video talking about the gamecube namely silicon knights rare and retro studios all showing off games that were barely real retro had ravenblade yeah sure honey i'm on the phone and honest to god what's better to fiddle in your pocket with the nice climber nintendo always goes all out for mario's anniversaries remember the 30th anniversary when they shoehorned in mario maker is the 30th anniversary celebration and admitted it wasn't really supposed to be it just kind of all lined up in the 25th anniversary when they sold us an snes game on a wii disc for 30 nintendo hates mario and to a greater extent us it's like this label what's there to question what is this moonshine or porn super mario 3d all-stars one of the quickest reveals to release i've seen for a physical release i assume nintendo wanted to go wild with the 35th anniversary of something like e3 but you know athletes put and the games they make can be master classes of design they appeal to damn near everybody and most will forever hold the test of time they also made this [ __ ] thing this is the nintendo virtual boy one of their biggest mistakes outside of not naming it stinky stinky mr [ __ ] see nintendo has this lineage of iconic failures the nintendo 64 dd the game boy micro the wii u but none can compare to the virtual boy at least with the 64 dd that was just an add-on exclusive to japan the game boy micro was just a variant of the game boy advance the wii u outsold sweden but the virtual boy was different it was its own platform it was its own entirely unique creature it had its own games its own style and it couldn't even outsell maine you even know what i'm talking about ask your therapist i'll give you the same answer i give all my patients no okay well everything i see there's this blue border around it all that's the most absurd thing i've ever heard and i've had patients that murdered seeing a border is more absurd than murderers they make great arguments i just don't know what it is i recently noticed it and looking back i feel like it's been obscuring my vision for as long as i can remember what if there's something down there i can't see that it's blocking oh it's just carpet and it is looking pretty good today i wish you could see it see you gotta help me my sanity's at stake here no somebody's got a case of the mondays i mean there hasn't been a full-blown nintendo direct since september of 2019 and we really didn't know what nintendo's lineup looked like after animal crossing well thank god that all changed on march 26 with a nintendo direct mini oh it looks like we have a hearty dose of real world issues affecting pretty much everybody's ability to work starting in march of 2020. so many people had to start working remotely from home that it definitely affected plans for the year i just went outside and realized that oh my god because of such a thing i think it's fair to lower expectations just a bit as so many things prevented this year from being everything these game companies wanted it to be of course a lot of issues reared their heads in 2020 so i will be referring to all of them each and since they get brought up first up is jaundice because of john does nintendo had a settle for putting together a nintendo direct mini in march but i still found their silence on games after animal crossing puzzling let's test out on live you know maybe i'm giving cloud gaming a hard time maybe it can win me over with silence on live was the first big cloud gaming platform the technology was a thing before the company g cluster debuted a game streaming technology at e3 in 2000. what the hell did that look like it's through the net plus i don't think it's as comfortable as the 89 model i don't like it when my hands on the back touch keep these things away from each other because liars are everywhere they might even be staring you in the face and this is when i lost credibility then mario galaxy my favorite game of all time it's a powerful feeling to play affordably so this is what elected officials feel like i mean it's playing the game boy games and color and advance as well however this thing reeks of anti personality compared to the super game boy i was worried that thing was gonna [ __ ] my wife but this is the definitive version of pikmin in my opinion and unlike other re-releases that change quite a bit this is literally the exact same game as the gamecube one any tweaks are pretty minor and they are for the better so we're off to a good start with new play control this was completely warranted so what happened the same day as new play control pikmin it wasn't the best day for multiple reasons shock drop or roll this game holds a special place in my heart my father died while playing it no he [ __ ] didn't hey my dad didn't play a lot of mario party 2 but when he did he died okay let's prepare for anything luigi has in store here [Music] no i don't think that was brave oh well this will be a piece of cake one guy [ __ ] ape the ending writes itself [Music] put a gun in my head i choose the ape over you i doubt it get a gun out which is why concerning the holiday i'm about to give you five better games to replace the active mating first up a number five bart simpson fun pack number four mario plus rabbit's kingdom battle [ __ ] you if you had sex instead of playing that game number three going to bass pro shop can you tell i'm single number two snoopy silly sports spectacular also known in japan as donald duck and finally at number one rats for game boy color this game disappointed the hell out of me it wasn't surprisingly good it wasn't memorably bad it wasn't even sexy enough it just left me feeling empty on sweetest day which who could have expected that now what want to go to bass pro shop this is bass pro shop your one-stop shop to making up for not giving a [ __ ] about oni chambra is why they're still in business you think it's all about fishing and hunting but no they sell all kinds of things here like magazines this one was weird considering it used the weir mode nunchuck in the sensor bar well i use the gyroscope for the pointer and it goes off center a lot it works but you have to recalibrate it to the center more than i'd like to admit and man that offers even more depth to mario galaxy's gameplay formula now you have to play the role of a level yes guys i'm signing up for verizon they're gamers too verizon's e3 show on june 14th what do you think they're gonna announce it doesn't matter they're gamers cooking mama cookstar released at the end of the month just to be taken off the eshop immediately for not having the rights to use the cookie mama brand you need rights most multi-platform games came to xbox one which didn't make it immediately unappealing millions of these console sales are from people who literally just play fifa and call of duty and wouldn't you know dude i have a console for you the nintendo ds let's start with the xbox shampoo coming to us from lynx after i try my beats headphone soup it's the xbox staple green which makes me happy there's no nintendo switch variant basically it allows xbox on your head like never before this is mario he 100 deserves so much better and it's not like i can just not buy it to tell nintendo what i think i'm a [ __ ] i can't help but admire the fact that these bundles help bring in new customers that may not have experienced these games otherwise wait i mean these things for the first month it was completely free to download as a way to thank 3ds users for putting up with the fact that eshop wasn't available until four months after they got their damn systems the 3ds was released in an incomplete and overpriced state but they gave me excitebike for free [ __ ] in actuality i was one of the schmucks who waited until august 2011 to buy their 3ds when the price dropped from 250 to 170. that was quite the discount but because of that i missed out on the 3ds ambassador program which gave those who bought the system for 250 before august 10 free downloadable nes games valued at five dollars apiece 10 free downloadable game boy advanced games valued at seven dollars a piece and i missed out on free excitebike and had to buy for six dollars did i save money or not the hannah montana psp bundle obviously employed by sony to get the hannah montana crowd to care about the playstation portable featuring such games as god of war got the village and grand theft auto is that a penis 100 percent they were jonesing to get in on the more casual crowd the ds corner by marketing the psp to young girls which includes a copy of hannah montana rock the show because you know girls play too but can they spell that wasn't it for nintendo this month out of nowhere they announced hyrule warriors age of calamity a successor to hyrule warriors but this time being an official prequel to breath of the wild do we need gas nah let's get some you work for the waste jacers i prefer the term we work for the waste chasers how well can you guys waste sign this why no reason you're hired all right yeah hey see your problem this wall's being utilized i was actually wondering if you could teach me how to waste with this hey y'all scott here i got four words three syllables and one mistake for you ghosts for sale located at fleeting smiles cemetery by death productions you will need a membership to get in come on down and we'll set you up with a ghost try to find a store that's not dollar tree do that act now and we'll give you a fresh ghost uh bravely default two got demo yeah i would like to introduce the future of gaming game streaming is an obvious step to take i mean pretty much all of the forms of entertainment are consumed via streaming so naturally mario's next i'm not opposed to the future i'm just scared shitless about it gaming isn't like other mediums it's honestly the most unique so you can't really take what's happening with movies and music and apply it to video games it may make sense on paper but it's way more complicated than that you can't ask a dog to fit into a cage too small for it or ask a cat to be perfectly streamable online without any latency or lag so what is game streaming you've come to the right place since it needs wi-fi to operate you don't get a game card with the set instead you have to download a free app off the eshop which means anybody can get in on the fun even if you don't buy the physical set oh yeah i got mario kart live show us the car didn't account for that question might i suggest a new hobby i recommend a book to discover new things to get into stupid [ __ ] for dummies i don't know what else i'm good at what about you do you have any talents i have a foot fetish really not yet i'm trying to branch out of therapism it'd be more interesting for my epitaph so we'd be willing to do an experiment as somebody with a foot fetish would say yeah i would have liked online play for the bingo battle mode and maybe reassurance that pikmin 4 is still coming we can't have everything but we can have pikmin 3 deluxe for 60 dollars many still value this older style of game while some want these older games to be recreated for the modern age what if we took this modern thing and tried to recreate it using this rock [Music] this is a demagogue remaking a game on worse and or older hardware possibly generations older or it's just made in the style of older titles it's interesting to see how a modern game works when it's met with the limitations of living in 1994 it doesn't but again this is a digital only game when it's gone it's gone they released a physical collector's edition but it only came with a download code which is stupid what if i get the collector's edition and don't download the game before april oh yeah i fired them downloaded show us the [ __ ] car well let's take a look at what metacritic deems is one of the worst games of all time second to family party 30 great games obstacle arcade which one do you want yeah well here's the copy that i own since 2014 ride to hell retribution one percent what is that committed critic score immortals phoenix rising what's that for 2d games the top-down perspective was usually the answer to prayers like that but everything was still so flat and there were only so many things you could do and places you could go at the time though this was perfectly fine but then gunshots were heard wow fortnite's included for free they pulled it off i will never understand the concept of bundling in a free game with your system but hey at least it's pre-installed which saves me a step with downloading the game then deleting it now all i have to do is delete it free fortnite v bucks and a special edition switch dock and joy con how did mario tennis get stiffed why didn't this one come with 2000 v bucks hey this one is only a full game download not pre-loaded it does come with one two switch also as a full game download damn this is work it comes in a box you get artwork the console branding the whole nine yards everything you'd expect from a physical release except the physical release instead of a disker cartridge you get a download code because i really needed 16 more characters in my life once you redeem the download code why do i own this this is pointless it's like the companies that are releasing these things are going oh well this is good enough people who want physical versions of our games they're too [ __ ] stupid to realize that we're taking these way out and besides all they want is the box anyways yeah maybe a dumb [ __ ] whoever really values packaging i get overjoyed when there's a random blank piece of paper included in the box but you see i may enjoy the box when there's nothing inside the box what's there to enjoy about the box god the original name gods and monsters i think was a much better title but you just run into some copyright problems sometimes at least they're talking to me this is getting old i may have finally stopped getting robbed two weeks ago but i just started getting robbed three weeks ago okay this is getting ridiculous i'm gonna make some calls and get to the bottom of this a bank the bank a bank it was such an exciting error and going back to it most of it holds up tremendously but i can't fit the controller in my mouth thankfully nintendo listened and their next console the wii well now they gotta re-release pikmin i don't really see much of a reason to buy this if you have the first or buy the first if you have the second though [ __ ] you puyo puyo tetris 2 please just analyze my brain when i'm out of it gotta figure out what's going on here with what that cat scanner in the corner over there yes oh no i'm not doing it you never walked over there to get me a box hey here's a flashlight to look in my ear go wild ah well you're in good hands i'm quite knowledgeable on head when did you get on your sat a lot it's expensive i understand why not every game gets a physical release but i just don't understand why some releases are treated like this especially when the packaging is huge and they include all these other goodies or if the game is small enough to fit on a cartridge and the strange thing is this doesn't work for other mediums i bought hot dog buns and they just came with a rain check for buns literally all the options are the same across the whole series so it's all about the game now [Music] the 3d effect is so good it made me deaf story mode is a treat and there's this new rpg type mode where you have party members and online is a blast and get my ass kicked by anybody who picks the [ __ ] fish from puyo puyo you can make the argument you don't need this game if you have the first it's pretty much more of the same with very little improvements but that's because there wasn't anything to improve [ __ ] if you include all the games included in sonic mega collection plus and the unlockable bonus games in sonic adventure dx there are nearly 30 games in this set at that point do they really have to include sonic writers oh man we can't just not include one more game the people won't fall for that they aren't stupid they like sonic it's a really cool concept but i find there to be no real middle ground i'm happy with here it's either too slow and easy or too fast and confusing the lower levels are chump change it's just like come on give me some action what the [ __ ] was that there was one mario spin-off that was the gameboy zone though something fresh something new something definitively mario mario's pick cross because the ted danson deal fell through super smash brothers look at that real cartridge this ain't no holographic trick if it was could i do this see it's real but if you collect enough shines you awaken the gigabill i knew this sounded familiar one of the most famous examples of this is halo 2600 a d-make of halo for the atari 2600 now to be fair this is more completely different game in comparison to straight up playing halo on atari i can't even begin to put these graphics over well we can do the color green 3d tetris right away this is probably the most enticing virtual boy game to me just the idea of tetris in 3d is kind of intriguing and actually sort of takes advantage of the bane to my life expectancy i'm pretty sure i'm infertile now hail scott here let's do some math point 21 of gamers watch gaming presentations that's just a fact they like get new game reveals turn in their faces now twice as many watch e3 the biggest time of year for gaming news it's all about seeing all these games you've never even dreamt of before that's the point now we remove the point and we get e3 2021 whenever a game like this comes out i am happy because that means nintendo will move on to talking about other things damn it i don't speak for everyone here but getting multiple items bundled into one product makes things a whole lot easier you kill two birds with one stone i could get toilet paper by itself or i could save a trip and buy it with ranch hey video games take up a lot of space here's my glover room but overall i just want to see more legacy nintendo content come over faster than this and for an affordable price damn it hey y'all scott here please for the love of god don't mind me i'm just doing some touch-ups to my high school yearbook photo you think they'd let me do re-takes nine years later there's got to be a grace period i've been having trouble going to sleep thinking about what people thought of me back then so hopefully this will change their minds okay and we're done i actually turned it down i didn't want to get too late telling the truth what are you a [ __ ] this is the best sex i've ever had and all i did was watch a splatoon trailer what is this design it makes no sense you know what will get people to want super nintendo games geometry diablo 2 resurrected great remake with tons of value here but where are the rats a plateau requiem holy [ __ ] i never thought about what next gen could do for rat tech that's fine to me of course the typical anime style has been crowding up a lot of the smash brothers dlc slot so it's totally fair to be like alright i don't want pointy hair key man i want the raisin bran sun damn it doom's ass red cartridge you know the color of ass right oh my god this version's so bad it's impressive they got it on the super nintendo in general but it's just not powerful enough for a game like this wolfenstein 3d works better but it's heavily censored which is kind of bizarre like would you really be that surprised playing a game called wolfenstein 3d hitler but nintendo is still working harder than a lot of other game companies they put out more games than both of their competitors even at their worst at their worst it's very easy to pick up and play now why it's on this thing is beyond me who wants to [ __ ] their head into a coffin on stilts to play a falling block puzzle game like this that has no worthwhile 3d effect whatsoever oh the background is obviously in the background holy [ __ ] you guys something crazy happened on the way here i walked over water you mean the frozen pond i'm not saying i'm jesus i'm saying i'm jesus christ let's just say if your name's satan you don't want to know so maybe this cartridge is a bit more worthwhile three-in-one super mario brothers tetris nintendo world cup there were three horsemen of the apocalypse the nintendo switch is officially negative one year away from turning three four whole years of a device that can play flip wars let's celebrate it's tradition for me every year around this time i [ __ ] i have officially talked about my experiences with the nintendo switch annually for well over three days so let's discuss everything nintendo switch related that occurred from march 2020 to february 2021 and when i say everything i don't mean it listen i'm not one to encourage popularity contest but let's be honest here the wii sold over 100 million units the gamecube you want to be caught dead [ __ ] a gamecube the device was originally set to be similar and designed to modern day vr headsets i mean head tracking potentially a color screen but the original and or best vision was consistently whittled down until we got this all because nintendo wanted something cheap and something that wouldn't get them sued and they still got none of that video games are a business the sooner i realized that the smaller my family tree got pikmin 1 and donkey kong jungle beat were the first two games announced and most people were [ __ ] befuddled you could already play these games on your wii what's the point of this if backwards compatibility wasn't an option sure i can see why they do this but it was looking back on comments people just didn't get it like stimulus checks all right here's the plan say no more i booked this an appointment with somebody that owns a curtain how do you find these people i just thought people took things with curtains more seriously look at showers ugh not this plan again i'm not gonna [ __ ] a shower no turns out the curtain owner hosts a talk show those demographics overlap barely but if we go on this show we'll reach all cable tv users so nobody hey that's more nobody than yesterday what's this talk show about i was hoping blue borders but no i had to lie to get us on [Applause] hi i'm hector and friends that's not the name of the show that's just my name dammit and welcome back to throats for thought where we get to chat with throat users from all over the world in county our 15th guest today [Music] have throats let's get them out here you don't know if you have a throat forget i never took anatomy remember if things aren't going our way and we need attention when in doubt vomit no just lie and save your birthday that'll give us a sympathy boat it is my birthday i didn't think too many of these multi-packs existed until i realized one of the most famous products of all time is a multi-pack vic two and one super mario brothers dot con you know much like opium you couldn't buy this at the store so instead of pathetic let's try for [ __ ] bazaar my new store hey y'all scott here i've decided to start playing game systems with names that perfectly describe me so i'm going to start playing the micro vision of course these don't take up any less space if you don't start to comprehend the power of one millimeter of cardboard these are the full-sized game boxes in here the outer sleeve is just kind of neat fresh bonus user for food everybody misses the good old days just ask nixon man remember when things were worse i miss that you just always look at things from your youth with more affection honestly for anybody saying that this new game is worse than this old game from back in the day because it lacks the magic that one had is that because you played that game as a kid and you always have better memories of it so no matter what this newer one does it'll never be better in your eyes or is it actually because that new thing is of lower quality in some cases yes but you get some double packs of games this way and a handful of gamecube and xbox releases were like this as well but i want a deal and more space for my feet hey all scott here it's been four years since i felt joy the nintendo switch has worn me out so much during each and every one of its birth months i can't look at a game called snipperclips the same ever again i'm ruined why is the nintendo switch not exciting me anymore why is the way i am the way i am why does this have a bitter aftertaste oh that explains two things even the story was expanded it's still not massive but in comparison to the gamecube version which had a single sentence explaining things it's definitely slightly different jungle beat on the gamecube's story was i don't know who donkey kong is but he's pissed i bought donkey kong junior math how do we know that they're gonna break my legs it was an investment a fun investment how fun is that 10 grand surgery you just had let me spend 200 in peace you've got to hand it to nintendo all the donkey kong jr fans are off the street now why do coke when you can do math hey all scott here you know the world's a much better place without things equity is the worst i don't want the responsibilities that come with owning a door but i sure do miss the perks of it so i bought just a doorknob to put on my shelf may not do much but it reminds me what it's like to have purpose hey hector it's great to be on this show with the throat ever since i've gotten one this has been a short-term goal of mine oh who's this oh he's my aide swallow thanks well when i heard your story i knew you had to be on the show so you have a throat does he ever i won best threat at the state fair i won biggest ever since i was 18 i was told my throat was my best future okay okay been notarized what i mean any official throat user's been notarized hey hey if anybody has a throw here it's scott i can tell you how many times i've been around this man not a big damn man stop using your throat listen hector heck may i call you hell may i call you i may not have my throat documents on hand would you settle for dental there's a big blue border that's gonna eat you get off my show no we have to stop the blue border it actually annoys everyone it affects it has to end oh my god my aunt just died on my birthday the shark tail and trek 2 combo cartridge when you just can't pick who to shoot our story starts well my story starts and the tallest tower of jerusalem i was locked up for losing a race to a tortoise but that's irrelevant some called me a liar i called myself jesus christ but you can call me rex short for rexmos my mother bless her heart was a virgin and a bear that's right a virgin bear the first of its kind but you've never seen one of those before huh might be asking how a virgin bear gave birth to me i wonder that too a camel was there motion controls with the wii remote and nunchuck they really did change a man i'm running for senator but also the fang nintendo just announced this game randomly on twitter terrifying i live in fear now nintendo also updated the nes and snes online apps with yes rygar panel they pun on switch featuring online multiplayer via the snes app this is all i ever wanted catcher's attack is one of my favorite super nintendo games but this is the localized version of panel day pawn in japan instead of yoshi's we get small fairies it's a sacrifice i'm willing to make i do prefer the yoshis but this is still tetris attack gameplay it's one of the most satisfying and addictive puzzle games out there they couldn't do standard tetris attack due to the tetris license i'll take the fairies damn it giants on 3ds retains the wireless portal so thankfully that lives on in the form of a toys to life game on a portable system please think about that these were strange times play this on a bus hey grandma mario power tennis is already on wii you just have to get a gamecube controller and memory card in the original game which isn't in print anymore and you can only find used copies of it in some gamestop stores and on ebay oh [ __ ] she said i'm in but after this was all done they announced the final fantasy pixel remasters they're re-releasing the first six final fantasy games on platforms that already have most of them square enix fans does this ever happen to you though any sound that comes through this speaker makes me feel like i'm drowning and vice versa holy [ __ ] i thought it was playing mario if it wasn't for the wireframes this obviously would have been a pretty impressive game for the time plus there's nothing really wrong with the gameplay but as it stands i don't know man i just feel like my time is worth more than this that's right i'm moving up the totem pole that's it there were more new play control games but only these three titles carry the name in north america like you don't name jaundice if only three people get it this is on another level it's about as epic as something like red dead redemption 2. and you know what they say you can spell red dead redemption 2 without ride to hell retribution red dead redemption 2. premiere edition this includes the only two things you can use what's an addition to google stadia about this what could they possibly add or remove from this package to make it a different addition i need more i want people to look through my window and see a bunch of garbage and say that looks like a fun house to break into so i was shifting between two options i was thinking my first accessory to nab would be uh a window but this one had deal or no deal that of course involved gaming console showcases basically what nintendo had planned for the near future and the 1994 show was all about virtual boys well i misread that nintendo's then president hiroshi yamauchi stood proudly and unveiled the future of his company oh you don't even know what it is i love this system though why does the controller have to be this way why can't the buttons be slightly angled you know how your thumb is and when they redesigned the controller they made the button placement worse i woke up and my thumbs were like this one day i was so [ __ ] happy i could use this controller finally i can play grand theft auto portably i never said i was happy with my life the virtual boy came packed and this here boxed it looks more magic eye picture than video game oh it's a piece of [ __ ] the nintendo ds headset that's right nintendo basically refused to make a wireless headset for any game console except the ds you could use this with pokemon and brain age you do math like a [ __ ] what's shaped like a brick and gives you hours of fun it's a close second the nintendo game boy that's right it's a miner well here's open google stadium we'll save the day the google stadium controllers see there's almost never anything unique about controllers made by companies outside of the main ones setting up stadium is pretty simple and we're into the action pretty soon you did get a couple of big new releases but it's never been enough to make stadia your go-to platform so here's the thing about google stadium i'm out of fluids physical video games are hard to make i mean i'm gonna do it this is the best i could do sometimes two things just go together seven if you're open-minded i'm finally ready to not get laid for the fifth time let's start off with vanilla sonic and knuckles regardless of how incomplete the cartridge looks let's play sonic and knuckles they don't do anything new there's never any real announcement here it's just just dance is coming this year yeah i know i got the alert too it feels like something that should have seen more success but nintendo realized kids hate moles [ __ ] you advertisers know they could just show you what the actual game is going to be like or they could visualize what it will feel like garbage yes let us delve into the world of virtual boy with the help of my panted 12 point skill and liquor each virtual boy game will be rated on a scale from 1 to 12 if you're asking why it goes up to 12 why are you asking about the validity of virtual boy review scores 5g data speeds are here and they're going to help us do esports and develop games and watch games online i just care so much about gaming and gamers and video games what's next on the chopping block for video games corporations hate physical media they want us all to move to digital trying to make physical as less appealing as possible i think they've been spinning my games there's some truth to why old people call anything that beeps a game boy they worry me scream protectors yup you need those especially for the bottom screen but i never really was a big screen protector guy i don't know i consider any scratches to have stories behind them uh this is when i was a jackass this was just when i was a [ __ ] idiot tetris on the gameboy continues to be one of the best versions of tetris i know what you may be saying this guy [ __ ] tetris is [ __ ] tetris yeah man grass was way better back then [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] hey y'all scott here are you about three large footsteps away from the grave need tickle time before you go could funk in a casket might i suggest learning to talk about video games what else would i do at my funeral if it wasn't for talking about video games i'd be happy it takes a lot of no shame to do so tell me are you gonna learn how to talk about video games are you gonna have integrity [Music] look at this this is your life now first step to talking about video games is not playing video games and i cannot stress that enough might be a video game player when you can make silly comments about them it's the same sentiment i have towards the working class so put the controller down and repeat after me this game is [Music] video games are art and have been one of the leading ways for artists to express themselves in recent memory discussing them is completely warranted but if you're worried about losing the listeners attention during make sure to spice things up by making funny random noises while discussing said video game don't be afraid to not talk about video games while talking about video games for roughly five to ten minutes while you act out some kind of a skit make sure it isn't funny some people call this a waste of time i call it a filibuster you gotta have your arch nemesis game when you just can't escape from sure you could just not play it but then what would i have to do tomorrow hey it's been a while since that random noise still there stand in front of your game collection to announce your resignation from society it's a good thing to yell a lot people won't take you seriously if you aren't screaming i call this the thanksgiving dinner approach now it's really important to act like you're better than the game you're talking about uh this can be achieved with a few who made this and what is this game but if you don't know what to say you can always just start acting awkward and give yourself a double chin so on to the next one which is the one after the best one the next one is the stuff it's the one swearing yes swearing is a genetic staple of the video game player you truly play video games if you can say [ __ ] about them and if you aren't willing to say [ __ ] uncensored get the [ __ ] out of here duly noted you have to have an opinion on every game the right opinion you have to play every game too and like every game except for the bad ones if you mess up one of these blade off as a joke maybe make a funny quip about it and shake some yellow text around you to prove you're serious about being funny funny moment and you can't just talk about video games you gotta be funny especially if you're not funny that way you can deflect criticisms by stating you shouldn't be taken seriously if you need to be seen playing video games hold the controller as close to your chin as possible and frown can you tell the controller's not even plugged in are you better than the person listening no but you have more wii u games than them so always remind them of that react accordingly to anything happening on screen i.e scream and when you start talking games with people make sure to not see them there [Music] oh hi i didn't see you there you have to do your research and get everything right about mega man 4 if you don't you look like an idiot if someone pays you to talk about a video game don't act like you already had integrity maybe you could gather various like-minded people together and pose a threat like watch yourself or i'll start a podcast feel free to really express some emotions here you're talking about video games for god's sake i cried too if i were talking about mario party if you're having a hard time crafting your own things to say about these games never count out plagiarism it's a myth anyways the alphabet's not copyrighted go of course everybody has their own opinion and that's the way it should be there's never going to be a right or wrong one to have on a video game and if someone disagrees with you you can always call them a [ __ ] over email server still focuses on playstation 3 games but there are a few ps2 and ps4 games available with these you can actually download to your system and play without streaming it's a really great way to play games you're ashamed to outright purchase i mean after the problems with playing sonic forces is owning it but all of these games are available to stream the ps3 games are only available to stream so let's give that a try okay pretty good so here's the thing my internet connection is okay i think i'm officially the only person to not say it's either really good or really bad it's like when the 3ds xl came out every single review had to brag about how big their hands were this system is so much better because i have really big hands [ __ ] me i guess because 3d world had a ton of competition on release day not only was nintendo releasing it alongside the legend of zelda a link between worlds on 3ds not only was it launching the same day as the xbox one and its launch games but it was released in the same day as mario party island tour and the xbox one never recovered the whole family can share a wii but each member needs a ds for every finger i personally owned a white nintendo ds lite and went out of my way to ensure i got the dsi so i can at the very least confirm while the ds family sold 150 million plus subtract one from the user account and two d-pads which is the most unique thing about this that's a lie this conference had the theme of the nintendo difference what are you a brand of paper towels now according to nintendo the nintendo difference is this an absolute fetish for quality hey guy what's your fetish uh well quality quantity the pursuit of happiness ass and chips well that's a great first impression not only am i being gouged out but i'm bored too look at the films and tv series ubisoft is working on the show mythic quest and the film werewolves within based on the game i've never heard of apparently it's a vr multiplayer game from 2015. so that gets a movie but not rayman advance super mario land 3 isn't a mario land game much like how super mario world 2 is in a mario world game they both take characters from the previous entries and give them their own spin-off series they just had to give them a mario subtitle to really sell it to you sure esther's bowling oh nestor's funky bowling oh i am so [ __ ] ready nestor's funky [ __ ] bowling leave it to nestor to give bowling the funk that's why i waste 40 gigabytes downloading neo when you can stream it because streaming's for [ __ ] alright if you own any console from the past decade you're pretty used to the idea of deleting files to make room for new games at this point it doesn't matter anymore is saving space that's a feature for most game consoles now well at least we have nvidia geforce now finally a cloud gaming service with a name for the masses my mom asked me how the latency was on this this is an nvidia shield tv it's a tiny box you buy to watch netflix now why would you buy this tiny box compared to this tiny box if you're one of those that refuse to buy anything with less than three gigs of ram no and that was the squareness presents at e3 i didn't like it what was the point of this nintendo 64 is a solid rebound if by solid you mean painful good thing i only see in five frames a second target enjoys the concept that they sell you a game console which you keep buying games for at target at least that's what i've gathered marvel vs capcom infinite oh this collector's edition comes with stones i swear to god if they're just eggs not again why would you release a pointless box copy that has less value than a standard release oh wait it comes with a pin and no matter how good their best games are they never really reach the heights of other companies in my opinion and i don't really see any massive ubisoft only fans out there i only saw two tattoos it's a joke book that's really morbid with the casual appeal of systems like the ds and wii it became more apparent than ever how many non-gamers understood 2d gaming far more than 3d 3d you have to worry about a camera system and it's like [ __ ] you i already have a mortgage to deal with a game like the original super mario brothers most players could deal with help many found it fun super mario 64. join the occult dad and the game cartridge itself is an infrared sensor that actually concerned me when i saw it i thought it was a bootleg since the cartridge is so much darker than usual i never knew this is what the black market was like hey y'all scott here i need a bath ubisoft press conferences are like sponges why would you watch it i'm a pac-man championship edition 2 nut i know what i'm talking about here this is an incredibly fast-paced game that needs split-second reactions and when it gets towards the end of a run i found it painfully difficult to make turns while streaming oh that's playstation now it can't play pac-man nobody else with technology from 1840 can i think my biggest issue with playstation now though is that it's still pretty clunky now is described as games on demand give demand a second it's not that bad but ps4 games take a while to load playing game boots you out of the ps now app and it appears on your home screen like you bought it in fact for every single game i played i get an email thanking me for my purchase it thinks i purchased all these games they always say zero dollars sony give it up i'm not replying so for 5.99 it's okay when you're in the six dollar territory there's not a ton you can do to argue against its value and what were you gonna spend those six dollars on xevious oh he's gotta budget things out come to think of it the nintendo 3ds could have had a pokemon snap using fatal frame as another example it's always my best excuse so we gotta avoid those and whatever the that was oh man i ran into a car which phases to black and sends me back a little bigger [Music] i'm sorry stalker too son of a [ __ ] oh my god look at all these things these are some huge names you know what i'm going to try no man's sky but first i have to join geforce now and create an account alright so i create an account offscreen and log in here okay i need a gamepad and nvidia's [ __ ] terrified of my internet connection and i also have to perform a system update no worries no worries let's do that and try connecting an xbox controller to the shield tv for 35 minutes boom found it can control the entire shield tv with an xbox controller this is the happiest i've been in 35 minutes hey let's try something like fortnite that game being streamable is a match made in heaven it's incredibly popular and having it streamed and playable on any device that's a no-brainer let's try again let's try again harder okay i might have been logged out after updating let me log back into my geforce now account back to the game selection you know what rocket league that's a fun game i have my gamepad i'm logged in let's do it okay so all these games aren't available on geforce now like playstation now geforce is allowing me to play my steam library or epic games library or whatever on my shield tv or other devices using cloud technology so these are basically games on steam that support geforce now so you log into geforce now then into your steam account and you can then stream games that you and on steam that support geforce now okay well for rocket league it looks like i need an epic games account thankfully i can sign up via the shield tv using my xbox controller to control the mouse i sign up for the account and get a verification code in my inbox i try to enter it the screen is frozen so i try to sign up for an epic games account on my laptop add rocket league to my library on my laptop then sign in to the account on the shield tv to access it i sign in play spot the boat and that's geforce now uh keep in mind i use apple product so i'm a [ __ ] idiot sunshine was a bit more love it or hate it for some wow you hate water then what you ate 70 of your body yeah yeah okay look up the most expensive and difficult to make movies of all time chances are they're the same price to watch as the poltergeist of borley forest i guess movies may be a weird comparison i think in comparison people don't make enough are actual games with 3d games there's more that can go wrong well i'm done with sonic you know i put off years of colonoscopies just due to my business surrounding playing all these games but now i'm free so tell your family's proctologist to clear their schedule [Music] 12 years from now dynamo games are detailed because the e3 audience loves it square my fingers are too dirty to play mobile games i didn't ever lose the stylus i definitely lost this little piece as it was completely unnecessary it didn't do anything except make you feel better about yourself like what if people see me on the train metroid 5 oh my god a new 2d metric this looks so clean what the f and if you try to play with the guitar grip on the dsi or dsi excel reality sets in various eye halvers are reporting a phenomena where a blue border is obstructing their view nobody knows why but it seems that the entire state of ohio is affected whoa whoa whoa whoa [Music] other states would contact ohio to help but it seems that they would have to be convinced that ohio is real first oh my god you know what this means not michigan just like excite bike this isn't widescreen as well though being a vertical shooter there's not a ton you could do to make the game widescreen while also perfectly recreating it like okay if xevis is in widescreen now there's going to be no enemies on the sides of the screen and if you put enemies on the sides this isn't my xevious here it is super mario 3d world this title is horrible it's bad enough the logo is an exact copy of 3d lands but with a cattail photoshop tom but i've heard so many people get this name wrong getting it confused with 3d land in the original mario world it makes me so angry because knuckles is hard mode sonic is normal and tales is easy so why can't i find him easy to use easier to lose sonic and knuckles on its own is just like sonic 3. wait one second just like sonic 3. so how do you convey what 3d can do to enhance your gaming experience you make good games that use it properly or you re-release excitebike wow i wonder what nintendo will do okay so jake knows that him mikey's dad has a pass and this gang wants to kill any member of his family so why does mikey keep wearing the damn jacket that made him the target of these people it's a jacket that has insignia that can easily be identified as their fathers which makes it a danger to wear around these people guess who gets their neck slit so mikey's dead rats and if you didn't realize that here's an instant replay in slow motion jake gets really upset but the gang doesn't kill him for some reason even though mikey said to leo conoy was both of their fathers toledo ohio everybody's your dad here doesn't matter that much though because the game is piss-easy i wish i didn't have to use that adjective but hey it shows they gotta make urination harder that's just more incentive to buy more figures to have more and more chances to get through the stages they're not forcing you to do it but of course that's how an adult sees it i'm sure kids thought they needed ghost roaster their life depended on it we all see the gameplay like this the kids see it like this back then i even tried to get the cashier to card me while buying it i am feeling pretty underage today i move the diaz i move tony hawk in the game it works okay but at the end of the day it just makes you want a real voodoo doll super mario 3d world kicks things off with a greek tragedy the kings all here during fireworks and they notice a pipe clear pipe this isn't the mario i know they fixed it and now pops a spritzy princess a fairy that is begging for help bowser captured the other ones this is a direct reference to those 2d art pieces shown before each world in super mario 3d land but this is the only time it ever happens in this game which is just kind of strange it is i a picky [ __ ] speaking of pokemon here we have learn with pokemon no you get all this trouble to make up for the lack of a stick which just makes me ask why didn't you just add a stick i refuse to take baths i instead bathe in body spray hey y'all scott here so it's about that time let's have the talk let's talk about birds bees oh even sex i've gone across the country teaching the proper education professionally and i've learned it all from this here book so let's start with chapter one luigi's mansion i gotta make some calls it's finally that time of the year here we have a cleaning kit this helps us get dust and grime out of both cartridge slots me personally i'm okay i have a tub i remember bringing my game boy advance to kindergarten to which most 80 year olds would say that makes me feel old even if they didn't have anything to show nintendo made it clear that a new 3d mario done by the galaxy and 3d land team was in development for wii u and would be shown and playable at e3 2013. my god this game could be called anything super mario universe super mario universe again the main idea i saw thrown around was a sequel to the galaxy series subtitled universe playing off the wii u name because honestly there weren't a ton of other options speculation ran wild up until e3 that june expectations were high and my virginity was nearing tornado siren levels the e3 2013 nintendo direct started and shortly after iwata told us to take a look [Music] yes no a dom matrix display what does that mean it means let's get the hell out of here but it didn't matter because we got christ metroid prime federation force mario party the top 100 triforce heroes mario sports superstar pokemon rumble blast yoshi's new island more your sticker star hey pikmin there's the nintendo switch guys oh my god isn't super bummer and are so quirky and unique nintendo who is running your e-shop now great a controller for rats bravely default dude is that a sentence machina this is still medically the only game with the 60 or above on metacritic to have given me pink paper mario the origami king oh but we skipped over an important console here the second master system it's so charmingly pathetic what the [ __ ] is this who asked for this why do i have to look between the tv and gamepad to change system settings nintendo tv now why not publish devil's third nintendo wii u microphone exists there's a goddamn mic on the gamepad why are these two cases black why is this one cream color why does this one not have the blue ridge why remake wii sports why swap between controllers so much lions super mario 3d worlds multiplayer does this big blue barter appear god everything nintendo's done i have something to [ __ ] about why is this whack why does this repel virginity and again in mario 3d world why in multiplayer does this big blue border appear i get that it's supposed to tell you that the players are too far apart but it comes out of nowhere it sometimes doesn't leave and it's just always there mocking me just like every shape i've ever met where does this blue border get off wait that feels like [Music] go away i hate shakes [Music] this is how it's always been [Music] it's me i know a lot of me overall not a bad launch lineup dude the most iconic games on the entire platform one of them packed in a fun breakout game and two sports titles if you want to get laid i'm sick of living in the dark about this i'm gonna go into the credits and find who to harass [Music] i'll give a wreak of this they're hard to threaten i'm open to an all digital future i mean i prefer how things are now with physical games but i'm not going to resist it i've accepted that this is how the future is looking and cloud gaming has a ton of potential as a supplement to regular gaming because i will be damned if my next game console is a skin tag the original game boy model wasn't the hottest looker though this thing looks like it would just taste awful after a two minute long driving section that was time for some reason we're now off our motorcycle and cornered by everybody what led to this oh man jake does the sick move watch don't you move now cherry pie did you see it because he sure didn't hear it it makes the handheld playable at night that's pretty much all it does you know i was hoping it was going to give me advice i'll meet up with the guys and we'll be right over listen i know we're playing mario party but take off the hat we're going to a funeral i did not know we were playing mario party by the way i thought it'd be good for us to loosen up a bit beforehand last funeral i went to i [ __ ] cried wow what did somebody die or something no god that funeral bond well we'll just have to make sure this is the best funeral ever yeah we gotta make good impressions way ahead of you you sure about that maybe just a nice smile we'll do hey i wasn't finished yet hey guys i don't know if i can do this do we really support the death industry it's too big to stop i say just embrace it forget about everything and enjoy yourself well the last we went to together didn't live up to the hype yeah the corpse is okay everything else is just kind of mediocre it's just it's all too much you know i can't stand to see somebody lifeless again i just can't emotionally handle it sounds like you need to learn apathy oh come on i wasn't expecting to mourn today so here's my bass pro shop haul uh first up i bought bear spray helps get a bear away from ya or you could just shoot it fruit roll-up trays i love the candy ground meat freezer bags uh bear bell attached to belt or pack when hiking camping or fishing in bear country i guess it makes it easier for a bear to find you hey y'all scott here i have to make a decision my life depends on it what do i take well this one does have knuckles the game does struggle with how big and chunky the sprites are i mean the original mario land i was worried the sprites were my spittle on the screen most 3d games had a hearty dose of quotation marks involved they definitely were more 3d than not but too many 2d elements were involved that truly make them feel like there's no going back from this sonic 3d blast yeah okay well let's take a breather in the form of e3 2001 memorabilia these activision 02 hats were given out activision 02 was a sub brand they used for their sports games cause sports require oxygen but it's a great title in its own right and deserves more recognition it was a debut of wario i can't say that about myself even if you preferred how 64 and sunshine worked galaxy was so damn cool like i'm wearing overalls in space go [ __ ] yourself my mania debuted on the game boy that's something you hear every day we get it so many parallels between this and mario 3d land the box design the game disc and card follow the same format even the manual takes design cues from 3d land except the spine that takes cues from mario galaxy 2. i wish my spine did all of his games were simple easy to pick up and worked on the system well putting him in a pinball game a breakout clone a puzzle game it all made sense kirby fits everywhere put him in court i don't care a series that consistently were 2d only skipped main entries on consoles during this time classic mega man kirby yoshi and when they wanted to do something like a new mega man x game ever try to play a 3d game with a weirman on its side ever kill a ghost they know how people act and it just makes the whole experience that much more fun and hilarious that everybody's fighting over a crown that amounts to nothing they should write a book about war the first multiplayer 3d mario adventure because galaxy 1 2 only gave birth to single and a half player oh wow you're pregnant with twins only kinda next 3d classics release came to japan on july 13th and everywhere else on august 18th that being 3d classics you gotta be [ __ ] kidding me urban champion is an old school black box nes game meaning it saw reagan of course i don't think the casual audience really understood that i think this and this both look the exact same to them they don't really see the value in a multiplayer mario in a 3d space compared to a 2d one like this commercial sells it but for plastic gropers like us this is easily the best multiplayer mario platformer 3d making old things new again get the [ __ ] off me shut up old man no hey y'all scott here you ever stare in front of the mirror and practice what you're about to say to somebody hey you know what they say go [ __ ] yourself nintendo 3ds was released in early 2011 featuring a glasses-free 3d display i can't see anything all right let me reload and try again [Music] well we find orson's place steal his bike he calls the cops so now we have a driving segment looks like i have to make this jump [Music] we're nine hours in what about taking a popular mobile game and putting it on a console whoever thought of that should get a nobel prize in hell 250 dollars i can get surgery for that price i never said it was quality i know exactly how badasses operate watch i can draw blood with a plastic knife okay so i got cut with a plastic knife though i drew blood with a plastic knife am i a badass or a [ __ ] yeah they pretty much recreated the entire game with 3d models why we not step foot on mars because we wasted our time doing [ __ ] like this i thought this was an entirely new cut the rope game made specifically for the 3ds triple treat is like angry birds trilogy three cut the rope mobile games converted to a video game system in this case the 3ds the back screenshots have these 3d models of omnom and i thought like okay that must be a new bonus side game or something well they still use 3d graphics but kept the playing field 2d you can only go left right up or down which created the term 2.5 d what's half a z it's a 2d game with 3d graphics or a 3d game play from a 2d perspective depth pay attention so okay that makes sense why it would be chosen for the 3d treatment but when you only have six games to do this with and you chose a game nobody's heard of that already had very similar gameplay to another game you already remade with this being one of only two games in this lineup that nintendo didn't develop so they had to go out of their way to license out i'll stop talking quinby morning [Music] correct welcome to the fun side of my brain filled with an urge to collect video games and an obscene amount of nintendo knowledge i call it my wild side doctors call it a tumor i just like consistency knowing these things always be here organized alphabetically this is my thing thank you it used to be abstinence but this works more everybody should get into this kind of stuff we'd all have the same hobby that way it'll be even more confusing why nobody would talk to me i didn't consider this a waste of time so that i say i'm so is living things could be worse sure stupid nintendo games may be my only true hobby but at least i'm not politically aware i mean there is no true end in sight here i did the math and there are a lot of stupid nintendo games there's no excuse now everybody should have no life over 15 000 games to try to discuss and later shelf the consistency alphabetically and players choice can go to hell the size and shape of discs and cards for an hour or so i'll talk i'd swipe right on them till both my thumbs are stems cause every day's fed tuesday in my eyes this world doesn't give my passion they all think we play motions as sin but it's their loss for they got no spare time to waste this is something i know we should all embrace i'm on a quest to address all the requests please understand this kind of stuff as virginity cache we have been blessed no time to rest i've got a lot to address you don't need sex this is better anyways it's stupid nintendo games it may be hard to find a place to start so might i suggest not bad might i suggest a geist to start things out then moving on to pack and roll lost in blue and tetris too or whatever's left at coles nigel mansell plus clubhouse games name a better pair to taste if you say metano 9 and skin get the [ __ ] out of my face tell me that you understand as a vegan this fits my diet plan they make for great target drugs as long as i'm not having sex [Music] i shouldn't dwell i've got no sex to sell take them all and distribute them and you're spreading we play it's so swell these extra copies extra ban you from hell i've got a blink smash to play every single day stupid nintendo's campaigns i might be slightly obsessed how could i not be have you seen these i've got no shame to blame if you're down and feeling blue when life drops in around you there's a solution for all that pollution to loon your brain [Music] who wants to compare pens you're gonna have mega fans say how if you're not playing the original you're just not playing cat icarus you truly haven't lived until you've been shot in the face now with a cartridge port on top you may be asking scott what are you gonna do check it where am i you can just keep kicking the guy until they eventually die other enemies around will practically never do anything to you and if they will it's always a telegraphed attack where you hit the y button when that appears who knew the kick was mightier than the sword that's something i'm surprised more games didn't do like come on you put all this work into a lock-on logo at least license it out to something like guns the problem is i only do what space invaders does my diet is beyond limited lucky for the bath fan inside of me i have no excuse see marketers have discovered there's no venn diagram between bath fans and gamers it's just a circle i'll give the game this the title screen is much better than sonic 3's every time that one started out i flinched so i get to choose between two characters i hope one of them's jimmy buffett best of two no i've given you more than enough chances one and you weren't willing to be my [ __ ] i wasn't gonna make an exception for you you never paid your bills and as a bank we have to treat everybody the same it's our sworn duty to everyone over come on give me a break i saved your wife from getting shot she's a convicted serial killer how can you expect me to get out of debt i can't be employed i'm unemployed you act like it's a religion more or less a kink listen you pay us back by tomorrow you can have your stuff back how about you take this and we call it ethan i don't want your bride i'll give you a five don't want it speaking of the opening cut scene i'm surprised i haven't asked the only question i ever tend to ask during sonic games what's happening chase down caesar kill him by gouging his eyes out tell him to stay cool i'm done i'm getting done big [ __ ] hands next up is flying battery zone a stage on a blimp thank you okay so i really like this design but it just reminds me of the people who wear nes t-shirts i'm awkward back to is a piece of garbage it's like a sort of labyrinth where everything looks the same and you [ __ ] up one jump and bam i'm 20 miles down with no hopes of getting out and on top of that there's ghosts well that just makes everything worse damn it it's like they're reading my mind it's like they know what i want nintendo what things do i want next i was not expecting them to get that right got the rope launched on the nintendo dsi shop channel in september of 2011. i should know i bought it back then i think you could all tell technically you can use it on your body and face as well so it is multi-purpose i think a better term for it is xbox skin jelly i assume the audience for this is people who have never bathed before but love xbox and according to my research i just can't see them existing yeah retribution was the only ride to hell game that actually released which means it's on the same level as applebee's and chicken fingers it exists you know for its localization they really changed things up and removed an e we got to bring this over to america what do we change about this image too many letters you could argue 4d gaming is something like virtual reality but i will categorize 4d like movies and theme park rides do if my chair moves that's the fourth dimension maybe someday we'll get a true fourth dimension in gaming but for now we gotta settle for frogger 3d being the farthest we can go heading to the hotel this girl is getting into a fight with this guy so i kick the blood out of him and it cuts immediately to [Music] see with the speed runs of right tail retribution even though skipping the sex cut scenes is 100 beneficial nobody does it well immediately afterwards we're in skye's sanctuary zone another one-act deal this one pretty good all right we pissed the bed with sandopolis [ __ ] in a car with lava reef and [ __ ] my dinner with hidden palace this one is challenging but really fun dozens of articles claim that the psp was going to win the war against the nintendo ds because by god why wouldn't it you got spider-man 2 at the launch and this ain't no phony baloney game boy advance or nintendo ds version nah this is gonna be the ps2 xbox and gamecube spider-man 2 on the go do you have no shame so bring in amazon they're just as bad as google they have a lot of money and nobody to love i think overall 2001 may have been the biggest year for video games of all time god scott stop sucking the year off nibbles just got done serving in vietnam i think there's only so much deducing i can do here the year the army base the only thing missing is seeing straight up the professional spelling of nam kama viet all right guys we're going to space remember your coats i'll just pick one up on the way there terry lessler you'll be our treasurer geriatrics hr jeb jab customer support representative reximo's moral support representative target employee catering good thing an impact closed yeah i'd like file a available [Music] oh this atmosphere hello please yeah yeah [Music] god that's a lot of space after smash we get a look at what's called the next in the mario series ladies and gentlemen the next in the mario series you ever play any of these atari compilations when they're in crystal clear hd and it just makes you realize how stupid you feel while playing these games guess what i'm playing with an xbox controller why yes i'm [ __ ] stupid what is like nintendo is to show us something we can't have damn both got pretty poor reviews surprisingly the wii one did a bit better i saw this on a few worst of 2009 lists for the wii specifically which made it hard for my mom to buy me the game i don't know gamespot gave it a three a cancellation was all but confirmed but four years later there was life we'll send you a care package to help you get back on your feet but until then sir this is a dominoes oh you said this was a bank yeah a night bank nintendo announced pikmin as their next pokemon in the sense that it may not make sense now but just you wait give it some time so we have to traverse this church while king dick constantly throws dynamite in his men shoot at me so you want to stay behind cover but staying behind cover isn't going to work if dynamite is being thrown in your direction my point is life [ __ ] stinks it's fine i can go without talking about video games i can just play them and everybody's happy wario but who gives a [ __ ] when the ps1 lcd screen is announced it says right here this was a big deal and with its insane critical and commercial success it showcased that dead series could have more life than initially thought rock band 4 oh my face i use that at cemeteries oh my god i'm sorry hey what i may be a nintendo we'll say fan yes world snooker championship is that a slur pop on a huck hat i think i forgot a why and finally show off my synthetic raccoon urine of course you may say jesus got really synthetic raccoon piss and to that i say don't worry the fox one is real you can consistently change and add filters and change how the game looks with emulation some people like the pixels all smoothed out some things like the pixels all smoothed out we have a heart heart with mikey wearing a toledo jacket well this game hits home for me already toledo ohio stay a while there's a burger king down the road i for one am sort of critical of nintendo's over reliance on nostalgia sometimes but i'm their target demographic for this because no matter what they do if it's 8-bit i don't think i just clap and that wasn't all nintendo also released the kappas trail crash course domo hard hat domo pro put domo rock and roll domo white water domo face pilot flame tail lincoln launch looksy's lineup metal torrent number battle picture book games pinball pulse snap dot spoto starship patrol touch solitaire trajectile xscape who the [ __ ] are these guys let's not be hasty with criticism though like any of us spent a day in spato shoes toledo ohio don't get killed here sony entered a deal with squaresoft to make the final fantasy series exclusive to playstation systems for a while there did this benefit the consumers oh it's a great way to measure crotches i have a playstation 2. i can play final fantasy 10. good for you keep it up motorcycle section this time with combat hit the button i'm a badass i'm a badass i'm a badass hey y'all scott here i've been working on my impression of nintendo ds i wear watch why the [ __ ] was i born buying the nintendo dsi was my first instance of being an idiot oh i made it that far i'll give it to him it's designed pretty similarly to the original but this one is so much more flimsy like if i crack it over my knee like what the [ __ ] so we get our info out of this guy on where anvil is before brutally making his neck gush blood it happens ever drink a glass of nails what what was that something oh we got a link here i [ __ ] ate circles all right listen i'm your moral support rep so this means a lot coming for me we're [ __ ] listen if we die please tell me was it hey y'all or hey all hey guys i made us baconators that's a whopper [Music] please [ __ ] up more oh who shot us my money's on the working class [Music] no it can't be my mortal enemy cover athlete of manito nine oh scott you'll pay for this farf why are you doing this that's the first of all it's none of your business for whatever reason you despise mad no nine so looks like i'll have to deal with you myself you can't kill us it's illegal hey anything's fair game of space and this round was planning to jaywalk let's get the hell out of here we can't escape him he just called capture sport he's pissed [Music] oh god he's docking his troops are boarding the ship [Music] holy [ __ ] it's the green bay packers thus both fifa and mighty are going for less than ten dollars brand new these days though angry bird star wars we got a seven cent discount so out of these three you're either getting [ __ ] over [ __ ] over or [ __ ] over what the hell are you looking for don't with the sons of anarchy fan so they cobble together a party game which frankly has no right being on a portable this is just miserable this was just a way to get another game called disney infinity on the 3ds in a short period of time outside of that this game has no business existing well what more could you possibly ask for a duck that one hit the spot [Applause] here one year later in 2014 disney infinity 2.0 released you we're in the hideout it's completely silent until i open this garage door oh here it is our first smash murder wario's in this i'll take peach we're both roughly four inches from mario yeah well i'll take luigi we are going to a funeral after all hey uh what's what's going on in the corner over there fictional ape how many turns do we want to do 20 35 50 can we do 47 i've got work tomorrow i can do 48 i got time not that much we'll do 20. we'll have time to think about what we just witnessed you really think you can shoot a ghost [Music] you fool that was just a ghost wound we get some background in the form of a credit scroll with a static image in the background but it does quite a lot to make me realize these are real beings like think about this these people have social security numbers i like these ports because they give me a glimpse as to what could have almost been game boy games downloadable on the dsi hell throw game gear neo geo pocket atari lynx games in there don't tell me the dsi couldn't run them we're talking game boy games not i don't know prehistoric man or anything oh you son of a [ __ ] i would love to see more classic content on the shop rather than cut down versions of pre-existing ds software it's just what would you rather want fantasy star zero mini a strip version of an rpg i don't even know how you do that or dirty larry gosh that's tough many players have become well-versed in these methods to get more money so it's up to these companies to figure out ways to mask their money-hungry tactics i'm not trying to kill you i'm just making eggs actually can you do me a different kind of favor jerry i'm jesus christ not a charity come on just tell me who you got for secret santa oh i would but the 11th commandment just went into effect it's a cheap blow to competition when these companies could be spending time actually developing amazing exclusive games but no let's pay ubisoft to spit in our game well that's at least 16 minutes of fun right there frogger returns all right i've come across this game numerous times on the wii shop channel on the playstation 3 and then they made a dsi version why is it frogger returns when did he leave this [ __ ] couldn't be born in a manger even if he tried but i shouldn't say that because my mother was never me and this bully never got along but i sure tried i told him i was jesus what the [ __ ] just happened hey i agree the cheetos but that's not going to help your marketability with the right demographics it might well if i can't market my business here i'm going to market you i'm going to make you the killer app of this funeral go up to those people tell them something doesn't even have to be true just make them like you yeah he was a great man i can't believe he died yeah i got some big projects to work myself oh do tell yeah i've been getting drunk as [ __ ] been watching nothing but porky pig cartoons lately i gotta say i get the hype did he say [ __ ] y'all or [ __ ] all resurrect something else i i can't go again five minutes after a mission go to his call practice tonight dennis in 30 minutes learn his ways and then we'll have two people who don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing [Music] well i mean this kind of stuff always happens at night we wouldn't be at this mess more for that damn moon so turns out uh we can't outlaw the moon like did nintendo actually make anything for this well that's where mario vs donkey kong minis march again walks in get out let's just download it and oh my god this is the image mostly before death some may toss the term missed opportunity around i prefer the term pokemon rumble u this is nintendo we're talking about okay if they have the opportunity to monetize pokemon to take advantage of children well first they cheat you in the face and then they do that i remember a specific game i bought at dollar general when i was a kid nicktoons winners cup racing for the pc scott you're so [ __ ] cool tell us more so we meet up with dr blotter he talks i didn't listen wow he is a real doctor it's the exact same as mario clock but with an animal crossing skin and the same can be said about animal crossing calculator but these both aren't nearly as compelling as the mario variants and then saying something they're [ __ ] clocks oh man jake's getting mad [Music] there's one thing i hate more than the green bay packers it's sex honestly deep down i've always felt like i've been a wendy's employee well i've always been a vegan i haven't is that a gun no it's gex ah [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [ __ ] come on there's another sex scene and it's the exact same as the first one sonic adventure all right kill that guy and wait this isn't real dollar stores give you the illusion of a deal when half the time the prices are more expensive there than other places you just don't notice because you're distracted by the fact you're in a dollar store holy [ __ ] look at the price in that milk but one thing i always remember seeing at dollar general was the at games consoles for only forty dollars this is the dollar general exclusive edition with baseball included i know right and because they're in blind bags you're gonna be stuck with extras which is just irritating this game is already ass expensive expensive as ass you're already clogging everybody's living room with these figures so now you're gonna do blind bags of objects that have no reason to be sold separately my daughter choked to death on power discs and to make it worse they were doubles right when meat hook was about to tell jake why they're out to kill his family greasy steve stabs him and runs away greasy steve what's next dr bowell so allow me to offer you skylanders figures to purchase separately for only 7.89 per character and to have access to all that skylanders has to offer you can have it all for the price of 225 okay well maybe there's something to this game maybe each character unlocks loads of content if this is worth 225 dollars skylanders is a game where you move forward and beat up enemies i'll let you sharpen my pencils for 50 bucks less save stage you can save and resume wherever you want in the game you don't have to wait for a moment in the title itself it's a system-wide feature to save and the emulator holds your place and you can pick up exactly where you left off some consider this cheating i consider it an open relationship i think the russia loan was more than worth the asking price that's why people love adderall bundling kung fu panda and lego indiana jones together with an xbox 360. i feel like microsoft had to dig hard to find a game without blood and gore to market the xbox 360 to kids and when they found it there better not be a damn gun inside that panda everybody had one because there wasn't much bad press around it outside of scrabble using the word [ __ ] [Applause] damn our guerilla marketing tactics aren't working the price was affordable to many so why did the playstation 1 out sell it i think that fact alone makes nintendo hate the alphabet i think this was a standout release you would definitely get your money's worth out of this game until two years later when nintendo re-released it on wii's virtual concert for five dollars the miners don't like me so i have to beat them up then i run into the mines with my hard hat on damn it's good to be a biker so i get through that and get to this miner and of h minor this series is to call of duty what asphalt is to need for speed who the hell likes to see yourself to put your damn hands down this bathtub could be more comfortable could use some hay as a kid the true success of some products normally doesn't dawn upon you nasdaq was only my 47th word various hardcore gaming products for the aspiring gamer who the hell wants to be a gamer just do it that's like saying oh i want to be unemployed avoid contact with eyes what's your stance on lips the super nintendo entertainment system sold just over 49 million units what a little [ __ ] but as nice as i'm willing to be about this game let's be fair this game as its standalone game boy advance the release who's the spinning disk drive which good luck playing that on a horse bro i've been getting so goddamn religious lately oh what religion the real one target i'm getting really invested in the culture of my religion lately but the word culture kind of rhymes with vultures i don't really like it i've just been calling it a cult the xbox 360 is well known as the winner of the battle between it and the playstation 3. who did it pay off [Music] that's it i'm tired of you madden away fans i'm more of a better nine guy i swear fart all we're doing is looking for the blue border just let us go and everybody will be fine and you think i have nothing to do with that but you know what i'm coming over to deal with you myself [Music] what was that who saved us [Music] young vince thank you yes hey scott no problem good luck out there thanks i'd like to not file a complaint utilizing motion controls to swing tennis rackets it made tennis possible for many of us yeah i'm 24 though i always round up so to be more precise i'm two dollar tree they sold a fortnight sticker album no stickers included oh what else did they sell me authentic casino played cards uh pills and donald duck lemonade if it were the other way around and this came out before zero mission sure but no instead they're forcing me to [ __ ] about it 17 years later who's bastards but then you have green new 3ds xl with super mario world included like i won't complain i'll just question they included super mario kart with the special edition super nintendo design which does make some sense and i know you include mario world with the green 3ds because yoshi's blue and i'm colorblind huh that worked i'm gonna need more stuff to talk about for the coming weeks though yeah it's no warning this game contains scenes of explicit violence and gore but just the right amount of pop oh you could always find video games at ryden and i found some local so first up we have dance sensation on wii for 19.99 puss in boots on wheat for 19.99 build a bear workshop friendship valley for 1999 indiana jones and the staff of kings on nintendo ds for 1999 and bakugan battle brawlers on wii for 14.99 good discount all together with taxes cost me roughly over 100 at rite aid and i found all these video games brand new sealed on ebay for 46. i'll stick to fifa you think this 120p video is enough to turn me on well lucky you i have a slow metabolism let's [ __ ] do this so to wrap up the explanation how about an analogy emulation is like telling a teenager that grape juice is wine they might get drunk it just depends on how stupid they are however this is very similar to nintendo's various other stances they took with new endeavors oh we'll never charge money for downloadable content i just shot a kid in the face plus who the hell actually went to jail over downloading a rom at the end of the day just do what you want gotcha so after all that sketched out a marketing plan i'm a resident corps r d and i have seniority all right so after hiring three employees and making no sales our profit is i need to hire an accountant dsiware titles range from free to costing 12 bucks or so and you'd find what you want on the shop by tapping through pages two games at a time my wife is going into labor but where's warioware even the subtitles are different man i'm having a really double dragon two and four kind of day which is to say oh that's [ __ ] what yes what better way to make up for stripping the compatibility of 1 500 game boy advance games than to give me the ability to play warrior snapped i can think of a couple so what if you had toys that you could scan into a video game and instantly be able to play as that toy great ready to die i would wander around the front yard trying to mooch off of the neighbor's internet signal convincing my parents to get wi-fi was like convincing them i needed a lung transplant i should know because wi-fi won out most of the time i'm sure developers would love to bring their games over but it's not as easy as you think it's not like the only reason they don't is because the development kits smell bad jesus why you wearing micro games that focus on using the dsi's camera is an awesome time i'm also [ __ ] dumb there's still competition in the air and it's called exclusive content if you play avengers on playstation you get spider-man what is this called oh it's on the tip of my tongue the face pilot which was pretty much a pilot wings game on ds that you control with your face i made an accessory hey y'all scott here what are you doing you want to play games but you're on a budget find a new hobby hey boss can we answer skylanders yes dean please what is your boss 15 14 you ass aren't there child labor laws legally speaking it's better the child employs me than me employ the child you're willing to make room for a damn carrying case in your bundles but not room for an actual game case ooh look at me i'm nintendo i'm saving the environment by only using digital codes this bundle also includes free ethanol i'll buy silly string there that was so [ __ ] funny every holiday they'd offer a couple variants this one including halo reach and fable 3 with halo rich being a download code what did they choose via russian roulette i mean in my neck of the woods we have dollar general family dollar and dollar tree only one of these sticks to the everything's a dollar or less ideology son of a [ __ ] what was that words no i think the border just got bigger that's impossible that would require you to not be brain dead and your pulse stopped 30 seconds ago well resuscitate me i didn't hear her please oh my god i want to get out of here i just want to talk about stupid nintendo games old e3s guys maybe a cold washcloth will revitalize you nope it's not wet enough [Music] it's the top the same for every week and enter the game on ps3 pick something right out of the drawer and hold it up against the floor spear some junk about no sex when the vegan comes just two seconds at the desk look like a hoarder surrounded by some big blue border i just want to break [Music] my screen is all burned in [Music] um [Music] [Music] to lay it on the line [Music] [Applause] [Music] i gotta remember this for next time it's not like you're trying to clear inventory of all the unsold ratchet and clank all for one codes oh man she can't hold that many letters how about horror lands i do love some terror maybe westerland what is that nevada terror terror terror well there's bowser land so nevada some may even call me a terrorist all right let's bring into a vote who doesn't want pirate land space land it is really space land you know it's not my favorite board but i'd be lying if i said it wasn't but of course the nintendo versions of this game featured exclusive guest characters turbocharged donkey kong and hammerslam bowser this is [ __ ] nasty yes nintendo characters in the skylanders art style you might be saying wow i thought i'd hear you puke after that no you see that's just what puke sounds like now yeah i'm a bit of a collector here's my pride and joy it's a cute way to contextualize the toys to life mechanic i'll give him that but at the end of the day skylanders spires adventure is a simple beat-em-up for children take that back all the children say this is what i like about mari party it may be structured like a board game but it's a board game that only really works as a video game okay everybody's done rolling their dice i'll give you 20 bucks to shoot that bird you ever even turn on an xbox oh if it isn't the demon king himself what are we looking for exactly probably a square well funny place is gonna give us answers it's here oh sweet printer ink [Music] look at this one eh wait guys nobody would leave their printer ink out there just like that it's a trap do you dare acknowledge my existence threaten to remove me from your life it kept me busy i'm done only affecting you in your precious state i'm ready to irritate the entire world [Music] so how does this work well first you spend 70 dollars then wait for that return on investment now here's all of our boards and then being all front and center makes it easier to ask what board do you want to play oh rules skylanders was a critical and commercial success but so were carrots you don't see dole bragging wow someone looks satisfied oh it's scott's back too you guys this is the best christmas ever but who even cares there's no need to rank them because as long as we're together every year is the best christmas ever all right merry christmas a little birdie told me you'd like this wow how did you know i told you birds the rules landed just to complete [ __ ] [Music] i have a refill they even light up when they're on the portal which is a nice touch the characters themselves no how do you do it how oh bunyan you know i gotta hand it to him he died it was bound to happen eventually yeah well regardless i thought i should give you my review of the funeral before i post it well shoot i'm always up to improve things for next time all right well firstly this is even the first time he's died so the hype's just not there well how can i make it up for you discount for your next visit no i have a membership card i'm fine next this place is so unsanitary there's a dead body right there it just makes the concept work that much more not the game itself do you give a [ __ ] no i am eternal life the opposite of eternal life is virginity it's weakening it i've been holding this one in for years it looks like it needs one more dose i've been saving this one madden away than espanol for playstation 2 and xbox 360. [Music] i hate when this happens for a series i was born from a gimmick that really carried the first game in reviews to see giants not do something just as magical feeling it just doesn't satisfy me you are a [ __ ] to pleasure holy [ __ ] donkey kong has over like 102 coins at least he's under 104. [Music] no what do you say this time nothing he just licked my ear this time it was developed by vicarious visions just to get these games out on a yearly basis who better to trust with skylanders than video game developers who's a good man in a better course i've been to plenty of funerals where they've used stunt corpses before a wendy's employee does his own he truly is the definitive carcass [Applause] see now you're more personable you keep that up you'll be in the casket in no time i think nintendo just did this to test the waters if they truly wanted to go all in and they would have incorporated toys to life figures with an actual pokemon game not where dreams come to die i should become a lawyer garbage garbage no another refill please what kid is going to want to play with this they get more enjoyment out of spray painting a dixie cup yellow hey guys it's pikachu remember guys we got to make good impressions big smiles hey didn't know you guys would make it we had to make it your brother didn't it's just the characters from the original movies in that movie's playset oh my god finally woody and buzz at the same time somebody called ripley's believe it or not and tell them i don't i beat him i beat the ape ah you really stuck it to the man and the man is the [ __ ] and the [ __ ] is the ape well maybe we can think about the type of thing scott might have got shake all the presents and figure out which one sounds like it's the most for him no what if somebody's given us a rat oh i won't be caught dead shaking a rat so we agree this is a stupid idea which leaves us with plan b i have somewhat similar yet less critical feelings about the traps to the power discs from infinity like the toys to life concept can be sort of cool until you start having to buy things that just like what do you expect me to do with this outside of the game the figures you can display those play with them but like what do you expect me to do with this in the real world closed it's roughly the same size as an old ipod touch so at least you have a reason to go all digital because the original psp putting that in your jeans it would easily give you what i refer to as psp leg what's wrong with him he's playing baxter no kid is going dead i want to be that when i grow up oh my god i can't afford the star you know i gotta hand it to you that's funny oh and another battle mini game that's a [ __ ] shame no that's ape [ __ ] shame yep one more towards the life series you got the toys oh i've got leprosy go for the sympathy vote i miss him so much he's gone and i will never get to see him alive ever again my back hurts uh i forgot to write a speech so i'm just going to repurpose what i wrote for his wedding congratulations you son of a [ __ ] your life is over the other choice you could very easily just toss in your bag and bring them over to a friend's house lego dimensions after one stomp it's toast me and my seven best friends were so close even if we couldn't see eye to eye most of the time the schoolyard bully had a friend group named disciples so i named mine the disciples you may be saying well it's con this is supposed to be a miniature version of the console's box because everybody remembers the xbox one xbox iconic moments in gaming but that i can tolerate what i can't is the fact the game forces you to clumsily move the figures around on the portal to complete certain puzzles anybody that knows me will tell you never tell scott to move legos around on a glowing portal i've been on a pretty good streak this year of not having any major injuries but i still have a balance up to my hospital gift card so it's just a little shovel to the head oh man i can buy a skeleton key should i well you are a [ __ ] [Music] idiot i'm gonna buy a snippet trap you're a [ __ ] there i'm wasted ah there's still more that can be done hey uh hand me that disposable cup of water this is glass i did the sick trick where i walked over water because somebody dared me to and then afterwards i kissed a frog that frog turned into our beloved mascot a wolf a wolf in my grandmother's clothing yeah come on you're five foot ten of pure virginity hey shut up i'm five foot nine viagra all of it the entire county's wiped out the supply chains botched for the next quarter you stopped sex for me [Music] bowser's big blast we gotta pick the right one hope it doesn't blow up you gotta do this in real life what like russian or what i am really bad at russian roulette yeah to be fair i've never won i will not stand for big corporations taking advantage of the debt give the startups a chance for once try telling somebody you're the son of god while you're horny it just it doesn't work so i ventured into this garden red ass apples read his ass everywhere i was really hungry from going through jesus puberty but get this the snake told me you can't have any and i went well why not and before he had a chance to respond i took a bite abandon ship what are the controls son of a [ __ ] nearly every form of entertainment can be enjoyed via the internet there is no need for dvd collections or a cd binder in the car because that's just dangerous i've been told i'm hard to shop for how my hobby couldn't be more blatant i just don't know what to get him jeans this is [ __ ] all right 70.8 is out here flapping his checkbook around my warriors out here living paycheck to paycheck probably living with some fatal disease like gonorrhea what's the over under on warrior and gonorrhea i'm just gonna say yes you know what i'll just say i'm happy for him i mustn't dare tell my family i like video games i don't want them to look at me like some kind of nerd hey y'all scott here dumb this is garbage i'm buying a plunger chest you watch your back oh i can't watch my back i'm wario i'm huge and he is getting so much attention the corpse yeah i'm supposed to be the life of the party what does he have that i don't no pulse kill me you dirty coward you smell so bad at least i own a shower you bastard i'm kissing right in the mouth you don't smell like [ __ ] i accidentally declined the star you are a [ __ ] you know that that's why physical video games will remain relevant for the foreseeable future like come on this is great it gives you the opportunity to turn any of these pages into posters pop this on your wall blast some metal and tell mom to [ __ ] off oh come on that's not fair donkey kong was targeting me that whole game he always knows where i am i compiled the slideshow of photographs of lenny's employee i hope you all enjoy i slipped that in not all of them can be winners though the wii u gamepad gift card tin i might as well just give your son this i can't take any more death kicks out of my face i'm exhausted of death frankly i'm dead tired okay well i think we should head back to the party but we don't want anybody to know what we're doing back here we got to come up with a good excuse what happened to you oh he beat the [ __ ] out of me i suck in that oh my god donkey kong has one away excuse me i am too and you show no concern is it finally time to get so forth oh cut the attitude this guy's been waiting his whole life for his funeral and all i've been doing is [ __ ] about it it just stays here might get bigger if you don't do something about it maybe it needs a host what are you saying here i i think it needs to live with somebody or else it's just gonna keep getting bigger and bigger again i'll do it that goes against everything we've just done guys i've had to deal with this thing longer than anybody else i know how to handle it at this point it's never gonna leave but i know how it works i know how to just talk about stupid nintendo games and not let it bother me i would not wish this upon anybody else i just hope people understand what i see all the time deal nice setup is he really dead i'd be insulted if he wasn't i was watching gameplay of new super mario brothers wii online and when my dad came in i immediately hit the window and looked up porn jeb death isn't for everybody but you don't have to suck the fun out of it for others i guess after my uncle died the fourth time i started to resent death a little bit yeah but the third time was pretty gray right here take a gun watch out behind you there's a happy couple playing wario's woods scott i understand that criticism can lead to better products at the end of the day but you're bringing down the funeral with all this negativity it's okay to let people like things from time to time and do what they want to do even xenoblade no terry the image of death has been tainted you're only here for the business opportunity tostito death is special you know what happens when things get mass produced how do you not know your dead shoe size oh these books are here to help bingo i gotta hand it to you his funeral really perked up turns out all people need is an attitude adjustment this is [ __ ] awesome i thought give this to my heart not my fingers you can't tell me those hands were buying gifts earlier i mean look at them i've been unemployed all day cut me some slack i was like all right i'm ready let's bring it on then these people started beating the [ __ ] out of me all right they're kicking my ass they even stole my shoe then they said walk up this mountain with the cross and i went no i'm not doing that that's [ __ ] weird looking back at old family photos enhance that's [ __ ] simpsons road rage bill and ted time traveling righteous dudes on a wacky adverb ah grooming kits for kids it's not what you think they were doing play shaving kits with batman and ninja turtles licensing which makes things better this came from batman [Music] look we did it everything's back to normal yeah this blue board is not going to leave any time soon for me but as long as i know how to handle it and not let it affect what i love that's okay plus who knows it might shrink over time i think it even did that a while back i think that deserves a letter of recommendation pop that on your resume you're the only patient of mine that has saved the world from shapes if it wasn't for this whole thing i would never consider myself to be a fast food employee none of us did at least i can go back to having no means of crotch access that's good i heard jesus hates hand jobs terry i'm i'm sorry i just i don't think i could be a vegan anymore i like gex well you can't change who you are but we could always use a volunteer vegan on the weekends oh boy now people know what i'm not guys thanks for helping me out it means a lot i think everyone will understand this whole blue border thing you're dealing with well even if they don't as long as i have what i truly care about i don't give a piss [Music] we saved the world from a blue border i just have to live with it for the whole rest of my days it's a lot but you've been taught this thing is worse than you thought but there's one small thing that makes it all [Music] okay yeah [Music] you

Channel: Scott The Woz

Views: 1,544,433

Keywords:

Id: vi1Y_ooMWuk

Length: 127min 48sec (7668 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 23 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Weird, I thought Scott put out more than two hours of content this year.

[u/weimerCatPublic]

Finally

[u/im-the-suop-star]

Best 2 hours and 8 minutes of my life

[u/Bluid420]

I know what we watching tonight!

[u/bralma6]

I didn't watch Borderline Forever so those bits were confusing to me... If it weren't for this video, I don't think I ever would have noticed the blue borderline. And I've been subbed to Scott for like 2 years now.

[u/Traditional_Ad_7482]

once i get new headphones i know what im watching