Best of r/AITA 2023 - Reddit Stories

Welcome Friends to another r/ am I the jerk Here video would you be the jerk for telling your girlfriend to move back to her own country we'll find out but first a story from Bell number 1177 am I the jerk for holding a grudge against my dad who took my step siblings to Paris but not me a few weeks ago I learned from my step brother's Tik Tok that my dad stepmom and Two Step Brothers are in Paris I was staying with my mom at the time I'm female 16 and would have loved to be there but they didn't even tell me they were going I immediately sent a text to my dad asking if they're enjoying their time in Paris and despite reading it he didn't reply until late at night then he tried to play dumb and said it's great and he wished I could be there yeah me too so I repli that he could have taken me and he said it wasn't possible and we'll talk about it later so when they returned I told them that I'm hurt that they didn't take me my dad took me aside and told me that their finances are very tight this vacation was a gift from stepmom's parents and they only bought it for my dad their daughter and their own grandchildren and not me he reminded me that I shouldn't act in an entitled way they were effectively guests even though their grandparents weren't there they just paid for it and I wasn't invited so I shouldn't act in an entitled way I wasn't convinced they could have refused to go without me paid for me themselves gone somewhere cheaper stayed a little less longer or asked my mom to pitch in and she would have me not being there was exclusionary if this was only about money they could have made it work so I told my dad that I was disappointed in him so came last night and my stepmom's parents came over for dinner the subject of the vacation came up and everyone was talking about it and I was just sitting there being quiet until I thank them for doing such a nice thing for the family while my dad looked at me in a fr browny way everyone went quiet my Dad tried explaining that I should have understood that this was a very expensive gift I'm acting like an entitled brat and should go to my room if I can't behave myself I said it doesn't seem like I belong anyway and told them to enjoy your family dinner and left later the grandmother came to my room and tried explaining that they gifted this to their grandchildren and couldn't afford to include me as well she said they initially only had the budget for three their daughter and grandchildren but they stretched themselves to four to include my dad as well but while they wish they could have done it for me they could not really stretch it to fight so I told her that my problems with my dad and I have no beef with her but she doesn't get to act like she cares about me either and it's okay I was like I'm a stranger to you and you don't care about me so have some balls put your big girl pants on and wear it on your sleeve and asked her to get the freak out of my room she left and I heard her telling my dad that I was very rude to her so I'm grounded until further notice am I acting like an entitled brat and am I the jerk in this situation I think op is not the jerk here I think at the very least if there was no possible way for the dad to ever take op on this they should have had the common courtesy to at least tell op right to give them a heads up they shouldn't have found out that their whole extended dad and step family were in Paris literally through their step siblings Tick Tock clearly they don't give too much of a crap if they're not even going to tell op at all and do you guys think that what op said while probably being true was just too harsh to the grandmother I mean I think op was dropping some truth bombs the fact of the matter is the grandma came to op to explain they couldn't afford for op and they're like trying to weirdly suggest that they do care but in reality they honestly don't and it's like this weird fake act that's me L being offered up and op said straight up to their face no I get it you don't give a crap so the least you can do is just own it and told them to get the freak out of the room is that uncalled for let me know what you guys think down in the comments our next story is from leather example 4418 am I the jerk for preventing my husband from throwing his daughter an engagement party my husband's daughter we'll call her Clara recently got engaged and he wanted to throw them a party this is important to him as he feels our daughter together got a better birthday parties and this is a point of contention with him I wasn't even around when she was having these lackluster parties so I don't know how it's my fault but somehow it is at first I agreed but when I thought about it the groom's mother is banned from our house she called me a who are to my mutual friends and she got drunk at our house and announced that we're bad people for getting married and having a baby because she would never have done that to her son and she bragged about how she never introduced a single boyfriend to her son because he wasn't okay with it that's her choice but personally I don't think it's a healthy to let a child run your life to that extent she also breastfed her daughter at a dinner party which was fine but caused her to spill food all over my couch when I was annoyed she told people I'm anti- breastfeeding and made a joke about how Clara will never want to bring her future children to our house needless to say she's banned my husband already told Clara about the party he then had to backtrack and explained that while he still wants to throw her a party the groom's mother cannot come Clara got irritated and said she didn't want the party then and that he was making her event about me she said I should have thicker skin and not care what this woman says and cited that her fiance offered to pay for our couch my husband asked me to reconsider and I said no there really isn't time to book a venue so we're just going to cancel he's now mad at me and thinks I should let it go this one time I am just not okay with being disrespected or having someone say my daughter should not exist right in front of my daughter admittedly I think this lady seems like a total pain to be around not pleasant says some pretty intolerable things that said this is a very short event for the kid and I would imagine it's only going to be contained within the confines of how long that party lasts if it's a really big moment for Clara and they want their mom there I think for the sake of Clara you can put up with it for one night it's not like the day after or the week after or the month after that that you're going to have to interact with her at all you don't even have to interact with her on the night just coexist let Clara have their big moment our next story is from throwaway Garden Thief am I the jerk for confronting my neighbor who's obviously stealing produce from my garden this spring a young woman let's call her Kristen moved into the house next door to me she owns some sort of catering business for weddings and runs an Instagram account about food we live in a semi- remote area about 15 minutes out of a small town during the pandemic I got very into gardening and love my thriving vegetable and herb garden I tend to it very carefully and I love that I can feed my husband and kids with food I've grown this summer the produce has begun disappearing some of my tomatoes wash eggplants and herbs will disappear overnight I see no signs of animals chewing them no vegetables disappeared last summer obviously someone is taking them Kristen is the nearest house to mine the other nearest are a bit of a walk down the road and she's right next door and I find it very suspicious that they began disappearing right after she moved in I even checked her Instagram and saw her posting photos of food this very week featuring the ex exact produce that's gone missing from my garden Tomatoes zucchini eggplant herbs I confronted her about this yesterday evening and she became very very defensive she said I was crazy and that she had no reason to steal for me as there's a farmers market right down the road and she grows her own window seal herbs and has a supplier for her business she even had the audacity to brag about how much money she makes saying that her business brings in good money and that she would have no need to steal from her defensiveness and this level of bragging seems obvious that she's lying things got ugly and she slammed her door in my face which to me seems like further proof of guilt am I the jerk should I have gone about this differently she is clearly stealing from me and clearly lying about it I think the problem here no matter how definitive op thinks this is or not they don't actually have legitimate proof here in this day and age I would say it's more accessible than ever to get awesome fresh produce like that and I would say before op goes to their doorstep and starts pointing their finger and accusing them of stealing they should have gone for a more proof related approach like I know it costs money but getting a camera that can actually watch their produce you know trying to get a legitimate record video snapshot something that shows Kristen in their Garden picking their fruit cuz otherwise I feel like it's the raccoon at 3:00 a.m. so I think op's the jerk until proven right our next story is from throwaway 0599 45629 am I the jerk for breaking my promise to the family by telling my friend that my sister was planning to take their daughter outside the country permanently my sister has a 5-year-old girl with my friend we were all at high school when she got pregnant at the time they'd been dating for just over a month they broke up shortly after getting into a huge argument still he brought his parents to our house and they told us they'll support my sister whatever her decision and that their son wants to be involved if she decides to keep it my sister's now engaged to a different guy 3 days ago she informed me that she was going to spend a 2eek vacation in France with her fiance and daughter and asked if I could take a document to my friend to sign allowing my niece to travel internationally in my country you can't travel with your kid internationally without the other appearance approval which he signed with no problem the next day I was talking with my mom and she let it slip after mentioning something about schools in France that my sister was intending to move there permanently it turned out the whole family knew about this except for me and my niece they kept begging me not to tell him but still couldn't manage to give any reasonable answers on why to get them to stop I promised them that I won't tell them anything of course there was no way in heck that I wasn't going to tell him because even though he doesn't have a good relationship with my sister he is a good guy a great dad to my niece and she loves him more than anything in the world when I told him he went straight to the police and called me afterwards because they wanted to take my statement a few hours later his lawyer filed an emergency motion with the court to anull the document yesterday morning my sister came to the house screaming at me and calling me all sorts of names apparently the police came to her place bringing a court order and informed her that she can't take my niece out of the country and in case she tried she'll be stopped by the authorities at the airport at that moment I've become the family's number one enemy my older brother and other sister said that they were disappointed at me for breaking my promise and putting an outsider over family my parents were so Furious and after a lot of insults told me to pack my crap and leave the only person who tried to calm things was my aunt but she quickly stopped after seeing how angry everyone was personally I feel very firmly that op is not the jerk pretty clearly in this family op was the only one thinking how the 5-year-old girl would feel it may very well be a better situation for the parents of the 5-year-old girl but that kid still deserves to have their father in their life and lying to them and forever trying to rip them away and vice versa trying to rip them away from the father it's just not cool this next story is from fair is not fair am I the jerk for refusing to punish or allow my wife to punish our son this all started back in March my son's best friend turned 13 in his family 13th birthday is a huge deal in addition to a massive party which all four of us were invited to his parents also took him to Disney World they invited my son to attend as well my wife was hesitant to consent to this she said it was was unfair to allow our son to go when our 9-year-old daughter can't especially since she loves Disney and princesses I said that our kids won't always have the exact same opportunities and if we set a precedent here we'll have to stick to it if and when our daughter gets a similar opportunity so we'd just be punishing both our children needlessly my wife reluctantly agreed that we should allow our son to go I gave our son money to buy his sister souvenirs he did and his friend parents even bought extra stuff for him to give to her still when she saw him come back wearing a Star Wars shirt with the Mickey hat and the trading pin lanyard she burst into tears my wife later said we made a huge mistake and never should have let him go I mistakenly thought that all of that was behind us now we're not well off financially but my brother-in-law is and he invited all of us to visit a beach house he rented for a summer sendoff my wife told me she want wants to have our son stay with my dad and just take our daughter to even the score I told my wife that isn't happening we are their parents we can't favor one child over the other not being invited to the birthday trip of a kid you barely know is in no way comparable to being left out of a family vacation and I'm shocked that she would even suggest such a thing I refuse to allow it now my wife is angry but I don't care I'm not but ping my son for being lucky am I the jerk I think Opie is definitely not the jerk and I think the wife has some kind of mental hurdle that they need to somehow figure out a way to leap over I don't blame them for feeling bad for their daughter at all because you hate to see them heartbroken and you would love to see them go to Disney and enjoy themselves too but I think she really needs to keep focused that this isn't something that the parents did on their own accord at all in this situation it was the friend of the son who offered it take him along there was never anything involving the parents there was never anything involving the daughter there is no score to even out and trying to leave your son behind out of a family vacation there's some real issues going on here I would even say it might be Crossing into favoritism territory this next story is from ta tired of my mother-in-law am I the jerk for returning the money to my mother-in-law in front of everyone embarrassing her me 28-year-old female and my fiance 27-year-old male are getting married in March I come from an upper class family and my fiance's lower middle class this is a delicate matter for his family despite me being able to pay all the costs of the wedding my parents gave the equivalent of 70% of the value of the wedding as a gift which would be around 30,000 fictitious value and fortunately my parents didn't use this gift as a form of wanting to control everything at the party when my fiance's parents learned that my parents had given this gift my fiance and I didn't mention it my sister-in-law snitched on them they decided to give their gift as well and gave 3,000 an amount for which I was very grateful to have received and I deeply regret doing this especially for my mother-in-law I don't plan on having a traditional wedding party my dress won't be white lilac there will be no religious ceremony and it will be a party for only 30 guests and my fiance agrees and supports this this bothers my mother-in-law a lot especially since the dress not being white over time she gave up on imposing the idea of a big party and not having a religious ceremony but the dress is something she annoys me on too much and it continues even though I snapped on her or my fiance tells her to stop because of that we're in little contact with her yesterday it was my sister-in-law's birthday and I went with my husband obviously my mother-in-law was there not even 5 minutes after I stepped into the party she started again with the idea of me having to wear white because it's an important tradition and it got to the point where she was talking to her sisters about how this new generation doesn't respect traditions and that she was sorry SL afraid of these new parties I had my limit when she spoke loud and clear that in her time the bride and groom respected their parents' opinions even more so if they helped pay for the wedding I was very angry and said enough I can't take it it's not worth listening to other people's crap for this money I had the money in my pocket and was going to deposit that same amount in the bank later but I gave up and gave it to her in front of everyone and I added that now she won't say anything because she's not helping this generated a confusion of tremendous proportions my fiance's entire family fighting on me saying that I humiliated her in front of everyone and demeaned the amount they gave well I had to leave early so it wouldn't get any worse my fiance understands why I did it but said it wasn't my best moment and I could have done it in private and not in front of everyone am I the jerk I think go is not the jerk specifically because when they say oh well you could have done that in private and not in front of everyone why does the Mother-in-law get a pass for having their crappy behavior in front of everyone and not in private either everybody else at that table or at that party were more than happy to just see and witness and hear this mother-in-law go on and on about oh how the wedding should be a certain way and oh I'm paying for it so I should have a say blah blah blah no it's only when op gets fed up at that attempt to control their wedding and Returns the attempted leverage that it went too far they can all keep clutching their pearls if they think that was too much our next story is from Panda 9 58 am I the jerk for no longer being the maid of honor for my sister's wedding after her fiance humiliated me my sister was getting married soon to Nino as part of the pre-wedding celebrations our family is visiting Nino's family in Italy my dad is very good friends with Nino's dad and uncle as they all grew up together so this isn't our first time meeting most of them Nino has a cousin Luca who I've made an enemy out of when I was nine because I told our dads that he pushed me into into the water when I actually slipped and he got into a crapload of trouble I haven't seen him since we were children so I thought he would be over it by now but he very clearly wasn't and seemed to hate my guts judging by how he looked at me he's going to be Nino's best man and since I was supposed to be the maid of honor I thought it would be good for us to put the past behind us so I tried to apologize to him multiple times in English but he acted like he couldn't understand and only ever spoke Italian around me I asked Nino to translate my apology for me but he told me that it would mean more if I said it to him myself in Italian to show that I was genuinely sorry he taught me how to say what I wanted to say but Luca was never alone so I was finding it hard to find a chance to apologize one day he was sitting with a group outside and Nino told me to just say it in front of everybody since Luca was avoiding me I said it and everyone who spoke Italian found it hilarious I had no idea what was so funny until Luca asked me in English to repeat what I said I tried to apologize in English but he told me to say it in Italian again after I said it he stood up and told me to come inside with him and he would screw my brains out I was angry and embarrassed so I told him to stop being disgusting and he told me that was what I just said to him Nino found it hilarious as did everybody else I yelled at him and so did my sister I ended up telling them I wouldn't be the maid of honor anymore because the groom was a jerk my sister is begging me not to drop out of her wedding and has told nah to apologize multiple times but I still don't want to do it or be around Luca and Nina more than necessary am I the jerk I legitimately know that there's a good population out there that are going to say oh it was just a joke get over it but I'm personally of the opinion that this kind of thing is just not funny I think op is not the the jerk and unless Nino comes and properly seems to honestly look op in the face and apologize legitimately that op would not be the jerk for being unrelenting on this decision our next story is from alope throwaways dhf am I the jerk for wanting space after our daughter eloped I 47-year-old male and my wife 53-year-old female are having some troubles and a friend suggested posting here our daughter Tony 24 decided to Alo hope and we found out through a Facebook post we always had a good relationship so this was a huge shock to us it hurt us a lot that she didn't tell us she was going to marry or that we could see her getting married at all it also doesn't help that who she married we met once and only dated for a year both my wife and I are hurt we saw Tony today and told her we needed some space she seemed shocked and asked why we told her it's because we're hurt that she eloped Tony got mad and told us that it was her wedding and she can do what she wants my wife told her yes it's her wedding but there's still consequences with her eloping Tony called us unsupportive jerks and left I think op is not the jerk I think although Tony doesn't necessarily need to feel any guilt or ownership over making you feel this way I think op and their partner are more than Justified to feel some kind of remorse or discomfort with how everything went down you know it's one of those situations where you can't help but just feel that twinge in your heart where you're like they didn't want to tell me I had to find out through a Facebook post but again it's not something the kid should actually have to feel guilt or responsibility for causing our next story is from Sudden slip dress am I the jerk for not changing my dress that the bride picked out at my brother's wedding I'm 19-year-old female my brother and his now wife got married last month and apparently I caused an issue so disastrous that it's being talked about a month later I'm not super close with my brother's wife Jess but close enough that we talk sometimes I hate wearing dresses due to personal issues so Jess helped me picked one that was in my style and comfort it was a dark green dress with black lace covering it and spaghetti straps just that I could wear doc Martin's and keep my piercings in I only have like five looking at myself all doled up was the first time in forever that I actually liked my appearance everything is fine until the reception my brother comes up to me and tells me I need to change I ask why he says Jess is upset that I've upstaged her I was super confused she picked a dress I asked what the issue is well apparently the dress is more fitted than Jess initially realized and was insecure about her body here's where I might be the jerk I refuse to get changed I told my brother he's marrying a model not that they can't have insecurities but that I'm sure my 5'1 180 lb self looks like a goblin next to her he told me to get changed or leave I ended up sitting outside the venue with all the Stoners so I had a fun time anyway it's been a month and my brother still isn't over it he called me selfish even though I left I tried to apologize to Jess but she told me not to worry about it but her tone also seems like she's annoyed the kicker is justess as ant as has been making comments about it online which hasn't made things any easier am I the jerk I think op is not the jerk and they were in a lose situation to begin with this outfit wasn't ever their idea they end up wearing it based on the suggestion from the bride and then get utterly chewed out and spat out by their entire family for wearing that outfit what more do you want op to do imagine picking out an outfit for them and then at the wedding essentially saying hey you look too good can you get more ugly our next story is from throwaway 5 am I the jerk for kicking my mom out my children 18-year-old male 16-year-old male and 15-year-old female are all extremely talented my eldest is a ballet dancer second is an athletic swimmer third is a violin genius I'm so proud of them and all of their achievements and I have photos medals trophies Etc all over the house I don't think think this is weird or anything out of the ordinary my mother's visiting and nothing significant happened my husband and I decided to take the kids out we asked my mom if she wanted to come but she said she was tired and wanted to rest when we came back we noticed that a framed photo of my eldest son on stage plus a few of his dance medals two of my second son swim meat medals and another framed photo but of my daughter playing violin and one of her certificates were gone my mom quickly admitted that she took them down because she felt like I was showing off too much and that we were coming off as obsessed and snobby apparently we're being tacky to make matters worse she decided to make fun of my eldest son for doing ballet as well my husband asked her if she was being serious but she just told us that she'll give the things back once she leaves I started laughing in disbelief and told her to give the things back immediately as she's leaving now she was was upset she gasped and told me that I have no right to kick her out as her daughter and that I'm being disrespectful but I told her that she was the one who disrespected me by doing something so ridiculous I mean who does that my mom left and did give back the things she hid but cursed me and my husband the whole time she even made a Facebook post about how disrespectful and ungrateful your own children are my sister is horrified that I kicked her out as she's our mother older and a woman in an unfamiliar town but my mom's always traveling so I don't know why it's such a big deal am I the jerk mother or not if somebody comes into your house and starts hiding things that you had hanging on the walls especially all of these momentos from your kids' various achievements and great moments that person deserves to get shot out of a cannon out of your house and somewhere else you could have framed pictures of stick figures that you drew while you were drunk framed all around your house and they would still be as much of a jerk if they went and took those things and hid them you don't go around hiding people's things and taking them off the walls in someone else's house especially the kids stuff and our final story of the days from jingle balls in your mouth am I the jerk for telling my mother her children aren't mine I 17-year-old female have two younger siblings 14-year-old female and 13-year-old male my mother works from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. weekdays when she gets off she goes straight to our grandmother's house or her boyfriend's house and doesn't come home till 10: or 11:00 p.m. on weekends she stays out at night whenever I ask to go out which is rare it's a no everyone has to come to my home but then she complains about me inviting everyone over I work a part-time summer job I get paid enough for my needs and to put money aside for my upcoming senior events when I get paid I put about 50 to 75% of my money aside and buy whatever I need I usually have enough to last me till the next time I get paid my mother and I get paid the same week she buys food with her first paycheck of the month and I buy food with my second paycheck my mother buys mostly frozen food junk food and canned goods I on the other hand buy fruits and vegetables sometimes snacks so about 3 days ago my mother bought the food she usually bought and left I put away everything and continued my night the next night I went downstairs to find 90% of the food my mother bought was gone I complained to my mother and she did nothing I started to Crave Teriyaki and shrimp fried rice so that's exactly what I bought about 45 minutes later it came and my siblings were complaining about how hungry they were I told them to tell their mother not me a few minutes later my mother came into my room screaming at me for not buying my siblings dinner I told her they were her children not mine and I don't have to buy them anything she told me to remember that and walked out I Shrugged my shoulders and continued to eat yesterday my mother took my siblings and I to the mall I went on my own as usual and bought some pink Crocs my sister found me and told me that my mother said that I have to buy her something I told her I didn't have to buy her anything because she isn't my child she left and told my mother my mother called me and just whisper yelled at me and hung up I checked out and went to meet back up with my mom at our usual spot after about 15 minutes I called my mom to see where they were she told me she left and to find my own way home I had my best friend take me home when I got in no one had said a word to me am I the jerk for saying what I said I think op's not the jerk here and I think kind of what op is doing here is kind of really great this mom clearly wants to push way too much responsibility on their oldest kid and op is straight up up saying no no no you're not going to get away with doing that to me it might mean that at 18 you get kicked out right away but honestly considering how they're treating you you might kind of just prefer that anyways am I the jerk for getting angry when my partner announced she's pregnant my partner 34-year-old female and I 28-year-old male have been together for 5 years she has a daughter eight from a previous relationship right off the bat it was made known I had fertility issues and likely wouldn't be able to father a child I moved slow in the relationship although I'd fallen in love with her fast when things got serious I overheard her telling her sister she was concerned that I might be an aggressive type person because of the amount of scars I have I didn't want her scared away so I told her I had a bad childhood and left it at that a little over 2 years into our relationship I felt somewhat comfortable opening up and for the first time I told her exactly why I'm infertile which is a direct result of an injury I suffer suffered due to trauma as a child she was really empathetic and I was just thankful I'd found the one I want to spend my life with that also came with a kid I adore fast forward to last summer my partner and her friend decided to play an impromptu prank on me I came home from work there were multiple positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom my partner announced she was pregnant I started freaking out a happy freak out cuz I thought I had hit the lottery with the slim to none chances I have they both started laughing the tests were from my friend and not my partner I was pretty much devastated and felt really let down that my partner would actually pull a prank like that at first she was shocked by my reaction and said I thought you'd know it was a joke considering your circumstances she ended up apologizing after realizing how hurt I was now for the point of the post 3 weeks ago she arranged a huge dinner with her entire family at our house she had us play this stupid mystery game and ultim ly announced to everyone she's pregnant her mothers and sisters were deliriously happy immediately I got pissed thinking this was yet another prank so I showed absolutely no emotions which everyone caught on to I said to my partner either you're just mentally Disturbed or you're cheating that's pretty much when all heck broke loose my partner's POV is that she was sincerely apologetic about the prank and I should know her well enough to not think she'd ever pull that stunt again she's also livit at me for ruining the announcement embarrassing her in front of her entire family causing them to think I'm a horrible person and then finally insinuating that she's a cheater I still stand by my claim that had she never pranked me my reaction would have been different I do find it odd she decided to tell me along with her family things would have likely went over better if she had told me first and then we announced it together but I'm starting to think I acted immaturely causing a scene in front of her family and I think that's maybe where I'm wrong would you guys agree with me that when announcing a pregnancy this is something you always tell your partner before you go and publicly announce it like that I think it's understandable and op is not the jerk to feel the way op did here and assume it's a joke because op wasn't briefed on this so it coming out of the blue like that feels exactly the same and not as serious to be honest do you guys agree that you need to inform and brief your partner and announce it together instead of jumping the gun like op's partner did here let me know in the comments down below our next story is from zoraa Hamilton X am I the jerk for my reaction when my sister's boyfriend mocked my husband's profession I female 32 went to meet my sister's new boyfriend he comes from a well-off family and he himself owns a number of assets my parents and sisters are going nuts over this catch they told me I had to come meet him and be polite which I normally am but they know I can get in arguments with guests who are not too nice anyways do we met and we had dinner then he asked about my husband's profession I told him my husband was a warehouse worker he looked shocked and asked about his age I said 31 he made a face and said in his 30s and works a job like that don't get me wrong but I don't understand how women put up with that I looked at him confused but he continued and said I mean we working from 6:00 a.m. to 10: p.m. with barely enough money to pay for food and Necessities must be frustrating to live with an individual like that my parents and sister got quiet and looked at me waiting to see how I react I just leaned back kept my cool which is something I do normally and said no not at all in fact I'm lucky to have him as my partner because looking around I could see a lot of high value men with low quality character and it seems like my sister just got one he was shocked and my sister looked at me like what the freak he got offended and excused himself to the bathroom didn't even finish his dinner my sister and parents went off on me saying I was way out of line for the stuff I said and that I just offended the dude and made him feel so uncomfortable he couldn't even finish dinner I pointed out how he insulted my husband by extension me and put his efforts down but they told me to get over myself and that he was telling the truth I mean he never even met my husband what truth could he know about him they said he must have meant it as a stereotype but I thought it was still unacceptable anyways we argued and I had to go home my sister sent a series of texts berading me and calling me a jealous witch and demanding an apology for me am I the jerk did I go too far here I think op is not the jerk here I think it's just frankly disappointing to see somebody so eager to put another man down Not only was this guy a jerk and acting off of a presumed stereotype but they were basically putting this guy down and tearing apart what they were doing or what they've achieved or basically saying that they're a failure so I think op's more than Justified for sticking up for their husband this dude was like crazy classist this next story is from cool contract 9660 am I the jerk for giving my girlfriend's makeup to my best friend's girlfriend my girlfriend Jade 21-year-old female and I 22-year-old female have been dating for 2 years she's a fantastic fantastic partner kind caring and loving genuinely haven't met someone who didn't love her my childhood best friend Kevin 22-year-old male recently started dating Katie 24-year-old female a couple months ago Jade is very into makeup like really her makeup collection at this point is probably worth around 10,000 well last weekend I hosted a get together at our place so that we could get to know Katie better I offered our spare room up so that everyone could drink after a couple of drinks in Katie asked to use the bathroom when she came out of the bathroom she was holding one of my girlfriend's eyes Shadow palettes that she had accidentally left in there while rushing to get ready and was raving about how long she had wanted it without thinking I said she could take it considering Jade has an extensive collection and probably wouldn't miss it Jade didn't say anything but I could tell by her look that she was fuming when everyone went off to bed Jade confronted me and told me off for offering up her palette I told her if it was that big of a deal I could buy her a new one this made her more upset and she said that it was a limited edition palette so that couldn't happen and demanded I ask for it back I said no because to ask for the item back is weird and that I'd buy her a similar one this happen Saturday night and it's Thursday and she still won't let it go she's barely spoken to me since and is very sulky am I the jerk I think if op doesn't apologize and immediately go ask for that pette back ASAP then yeah they're a major jerk imagine somebody has collectible anything let's say like cards or like Funko Pops somebody comes by and says oh I love that Funko Pop I've been wanting to get that one for a while the partner not knowing anything about those Funko Pops says oh yeah well they have like 50 so just take it turns out you just let them walk out with your partner's limited edition funko pop that if you want to buy another one you're going to buy a really marked up price now apply that to makeup and it's even worse because makeup you actually actively use so if you bought another one you would have to make sure it is brand new I think the bottom line here is don't go around gifting other people's things you wouldn't like it if Mom donated some of your toys as a kid by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos our next story is from throwaway for funds 69 am I the jerk for telling my my wife to stop being a jealous witch both my wife female 31 and I male 32 work in the tech industry we graduated from the same University with the same degree and work for the same company where we differ is within the company I opted to go down the management route and hers down a more technical route for one reason or another she's not gotten a promotion or proper raise in nearly 2 years which has led to a bit of an income imbalance between us where I currently earn double what she does I felt a bit of jealousy from her side but I've always chocked it up to her competitive attitude she's made jokes in the past regarding how the only reason I earn more than her is because I'm a man my direct Superior is a woman and how I'm fortunate I'm a good talker because I would otherwise not be as successful true this all culminated to a bit of what I thought was banter it was not last week where she said she was smarter than me and I kept making dumb comments things like man smart woman dumb haha which agitated her further she then spent the next several hours making me take those dumb online IQ tests until I intentionally failed one which pissed her off even more then this past weekend she had a surprise for me which was an official IQ test we got the results yesterday and imagine the scenes when I scored higher she was obviously infuriated and kept saying dumb crap which I kept laughing off until she called me freaking drug baby my biom mom was a drug addict and I've had no relationship with her since I was five she died before I turned 18 this upset me more than it should considering she wasn't really wrong and I in turn resorted to calling her dumb jealous witch she has not spoken to me since and is sleeping in a guest bedroom tonight I think I'm justified in my actions but I do feel bad that I used her insecurities against her In the Heat of the Moment so am I the jerk most people in the comments on this post seem to think that everybody's The Jerk here but I don't know I feel like most of it was generated and perpetuated from the wife's actions here the comments about why op would be successful and then goting op saying she was smarter I think that all just motivated op to play into it this wasn't something that came of op's own accord and then the IQ test thing goes down and it goes off the rails immediately starting from her side I think he's not the jerk here but I can understand the distinction of saying everybody does suck here because in this relationship there really is no Winning Side it just sounds so dysfunctional our next story is from are you okay am I the jerk for breastfeeding my nephew I'm 29-year-old female my sister 25-year-old female gave birth a week ago but unfortunately due to complications during birth she's been in the hospital unconscious and is yet to formerly meet her baby my husband her doctor had had been using some of the breast milk that I pumped to feed the baby until the mom wakes up to decide whether she would like to continue breastfeeding the baby herself or to go a different route my brother-in-law 34-year-old male is one of my best friends and we decided that he should move in temporarily so my husband and I could help with the baby because he's been so stressed about his wife lying in the hospital and also having a newborn pumping has been rather difficult because I also have to breastfeed my own kids twin 11-month-old and I thought it better to just feed my nephew directly from the breast as well because it saves me both time and pain my husband and brother-in-law didn't contest and thought it was the best solution however his mom sister's mother-in-law came to visit to see the baby earlier today saw me breastfeeding him and she immediately blew up calling me vile names saying I was disgusting and this was inhumane my brother-in-law was in the Next Room and came in once he heard the the yelling he immediately defended me and told his mom that what I was doing was simply feeding the baby and literally keeping him alive but she would hear none of it and literally spat on the floor saying what I'm doing is demonic my brother-in-law got her out of the house and basically told her that she would not be allowed around the baby until she apologized for her Outburst I now can't seem to get it out of my mind that maybe what I'm doing is wrong and I might have been the jerk for even suggesting that I breastfeed my nephew just wait until somebody explains to this mother-in-law the concept of wet nurses I think it's pretty safe to say that op is not the jerk here and frankly I think the mother-in-law is making this some kind of weird sexually undertoned thing I just don't see how breastfeeding can be demonic and disgusting or inhumane like as if op is trying to take advantage of this kid somehow if anything the mother-in-law is approved and is the one who is disgusting and vile because whatever she has going on in her mind is Twisted as heck this next story is from cryptonite Digger am I the jerk for refusing to wear a dress to my friend's wedding I 18 male am transgender AKA I used to be a girl my friend's getting married soon and wants me to be there I said I would love to come and can't wait I sent them a picture of what I would be wearing and his fiance came back and told me that I can't wear a suit and tie to her wedding at first I ass assumed she meant that they wanted the men to be in tuxedos so I asked her what color she wanted it as I don't own one and don't want to buy something for me to not be able to wear it she didn't come back I waited about a week and texted her again she finally replied and said that it wasn't that I needed to wear a tux it was that I wasn't allowed to wear a suit I was a bit confused about this and asked her what she wanted me to wear I wasn't sure if it was one of those casual weddings she came back and said that she wants the women to wear dress dresses I presumed she thought I was coming with a girlfriend and so I told her I'm not with anyone it'll just be me she then replied with this are you thick or something you I was talking about you you are a girl whether you like it or not you'll be wearing a dress to my wedding or you will not be coming I was very hurt by this and contacted my friend they said they've talked to her already and they want to please her so just this once do you mind sucking it up I told him that I'm a boy I ident Iden ify as a boy and so I will dress like a boy his fiance messaged me and told me that she saw what I had said and why do I have to make this such a big deal it's one day I said I'm a boy so I'll be wearing a suit end of she told me not to come but I want to see my friend get married and he wants me there so I'll be going in a suit if she likes it or not so am I the jerk I think pretty clearly op is not the jerk here frankly would you guys agree with me that even Beyond gender and identity regardless of who you are if you want to wear a suit that it should be more than fine to wear one I just don't see the issue here and frankly if they were op's real friend they would have gone more at bat for op here this next story is from sugar Barbie XO am I the jerk for showing up the bride I 24-year-old female attended my boyfriend's 25-year-old male sister-in-law's 27-year-old female's wedding his brother's wife's sister and now no one is talking to him his sister or me I just graduated college and I'm currently in the job market I'm thankful enough that my boyfriend of almost 3 years offered to let me move in with him while I try to make my $13 an hour internship into a livable career but that being said I'm very strapped for cash the money I do have goes to student loan payments and groceries while he takes care of the rest I met his in-laws about 2 years ago at his brother's wedding and it seemed like we all hit it off I guess for context I should say that they're all white and I'm Indian I had a year to save money for a new dress when we got to save the dates but it seemed like such a waste of money I was still a full-time student and the money I made went to all my bills I decided to just wear one of my old lahenga which is very very simple it's pale blue with a gold design I didn't wear bangal or a Nath just the outfit a simple pair of hoop earrings and my heels the ceremony was beautiful and my boyfriend and I were walking into the reception at first I thought everyone was staring because you know brown person at an old money New England wedding and all that but then my boyfriend's mom comes up and asks what I'm wearing she then says the bride is sobbing because people are talking about how pretty my dress is instead of hers and paying more attention to me honestly I didn't know what to do it was Black Tie and everyone was dressed very nicely and the bride looked stunning the only difference was I wasn't in Western Wear I asked what she wanted me to do and she asked if I had any other dresses other than more dressy lengas or summer dresses it was a no I just offered to go home if she was that uncomfortable with my being there my boyfriend's mom said that it was a dramatic response and if I wanted to I could anyways my boyfriend wanted to leave because he didn't want to make a scene and honestly I didn't feel comfortable being stared at his family and in-laws aren't talking to us and the bride demands an apology she apparently made a comment along the lines of she works all the time and he pays all the bills so I don't understand how she couldn't have just bought a new dress his sister is the only one on my side saying they're being intolerant of my culture and even if I was in an evening dress people would have still talked about me I feel awful and want to apologize but my boyfriend said it wasn't my fault and the families are overreacting I don't agree with him it's a a special day for the bride and maybe I should have asked to borrow a western style dress from one of my friends should I have tried to blend into their culture more I also don't want my boyfriend and his sister to lose their family over this am I the jerk bottom line here I don't think Gopi could be the jerk because they tried to do their best and wore what they could within reason and it was never the intention to upstage them and the second it became a potential issue they offered to remove themselves so how can anybody continue to attack op who try to correct it this next story is from linbus am I the jerk for telling my boyfriend he's not allowed to eat in front of the neighbor's kid unless he's willing to share my boyfriend made himself a plate of leftover Chinese for lunch today at the time we had the neighbor's kid over to play with our kids the neighbor's kid asked if he could have some too my boyfriend said no and ateid his plate of food the kid is five when I heard the story it broke my heart I told my boyfriend in the future to either send the kid home first or only eat what he's willing to share with him my boyfriend thinks he should do whatever he wants in his own home regardless of who's over he also said if it was one of our kids that asked he would of course share he doesn't like the neighbor's kid and feels feeding him isn't our responsibility am I the jerk for expecting him to share or at the very least send him home so he isn't eating in front of him thank you I think op's not the jerk here but honestly this is one of those things that's a little on the line because I do believe that it's a little uncomfortable to go and just eat something like that right in front of company but I also do Vibe a lot with the notion that in their house they should be able to do what they want and having grown up in a time where my family wasn't the most well off financially the idea of giving a friend who just happened to be swinging by like a 5-year-old kid food seemed like a kind of foreign idea to me I don't think gop's the jerk for what they said and did but I also don't necessarily think the boyfriend is quantifiably wrong our next story is from tired need a nap am I the jerk for snapping at my nanny for waking me up I have a 5-year-old and a two-month-old the transition from 1 to two has been tough especially with a newborn my husband's been amazing help but he had to go on a business trip him going on this would ensure he didn't have to travel for at least a year I told him to go as it was only a week 4 days in I was exhausted and overwhelmed I got maybe an hour or two of sleep each night combined with each kid's needs housework and me [Music] semi-trusted about 25 hours a week still compensated for her usual 36 I was fried and wiped offering her overtime to come in while my son was at Camp to watch the baby for 4 hours so I could nap I told her if she didn't want to it was fine and I tried to find a sitter she insisted she could do it I gave her the condition that I was not to be woken up unless there was a true emergency someone is ill or injured there's a fire or the baby won't take her bottle mainly breastfed but usually will take a bottle or is inconsolable she agreed keep in mind that she's worked for us since our oldest was a baby she has experience with newborns and knows what comes with that I finally fall into a much needed deep sleep it feels like 5 minutes turned out to be 30 I'm being shake and awake at first I just feel groggy and disoriented The Nanny was leaning over me saying the baby had a blowout it took me a minute to come to my senses and finally said said okay she asked if she should have a bath do I want the sheets thrown in the wash Etc I then realized there was no true emergency it's normal for babies at this age to have that happen and I've told her in the past if my eldest wets the bed just leave the sheets in the laundry room and give him a bath she just kept staring at me so I snapped just do what you would do for eldest kid why did you wake me up she got defensive and said she was just checking I reminded her of our deal and she walked out I tried to fall back asleep but couldn't as my baby was crying from getting a bath and being changed I would have slept through it if I hadn't been woken up as they were in another room I always wake up if she's beside me the baby stopped crying but I was wide awake and couldn't fall back asleep after an hour I gave up went and grabbed my nanny dismissing the nanny she texted me later saying I disrespected her and she didn't deserve that I told her I was sorry for my tone but that it wasn't an emergency and it defeated the purpose of me getting a break I paid her for the full 4 hours even though she was only there for two as I did choose to dismiss her she says I'm the mom so it shouldn't be a burden it's not a burden but I needed the break and she was being paid $45 an hour overtime rate am I the jerk I think op's not the jerk here because I feel like it's very understandable why they acted like they did and after the fact they apologize ized and paid way more than they even needed to and then the nanny has to go and be a disrespectful witch right back to op trying to insinuate more or less that op's a bad mom like okay I know op snapping got your underwear all up in a Twist and whatnot but you don't have to go throwing around accusations that for op their kids are a burden the next story is from throwaway 0 97000 am I the jerk for asking a friend not to use me in her art an old friend of mine mind just notified me that she's writing a play with the hopes of getting it produced by a reputable theater in her town the problem is that one of the three characters in the play is based on me and the name of the character is my full name first and last I told her I was uncomfortable with her using my name and asked her to please change it she said no and insisted that she has every right to use my name I'm a very private person and this friend knows that about me and pointed out that the character based on me is also private and that this somehow makes her play meta and hilarious she seemed a little amused by my objections to her using my name she also seemed indignant that I would ask her to use a different name for this character claiming that it was her right as an artist to use whatever parts of her life she wanted including me and that I was trying to encroach on her artistic Freedom so am I the jerk for asking her not to use my name I think op is definitely not the jerk and this this is just downright creepy behavior I'm not sure of the legality here but considering op probably has this in writing from the friend saying that that character is based on op using op's full name I'm going to assume that there is a legitimate legal grounds to be had upon here if op's friend decides to move forward with that you can't just take somebody's identity and pop it into something without at least a blatant disclaimer that any likenesses or personalities are fictionalized or dramatized heavily I wouldn't be Beyond threatening legal action over something like this because I'd feel the same way and hoping that resolves it if not maybe you do have to move forward with it and if they expect to profit off of this you can probably assert to a cut of those profits and our final story of the day is from clave 0051 am I the jerk for firing a person for not reading email many years ago I moved to a very high cost of living city as upper management non- US country one of the business units I took over was a team that was well compensated even for the field and Country their bonuses were directly influenced by their individual and team performance at a rough estimate the junior level made around nine times for their demographic and between two to 2 and 1 half times for their field this is relevant eventually I switch jobs but with the same employer recently I've returned to wind down a remaining business operations in the country the geopolitical situation in the region has been harsh on the city and everyone with the means to do so has already left for good not Ukraine while the employer paid incredibly well the field is very Niche and my former team would be hardpressed to find employment elsewhere I discussed with boss owner of company and made them this offer option A was if they decided to relocate to a preferred country six First World countries we'd give them the same job job and the same terms for pay option b if they decided they wanted to relocate to one of a larger number of countries we would allow that but we wouldn't be able to offer them the same job and terms and we'd pay the market rate for whatever role we ended up putting them under the goal was to get them out of their current country and give them a chance at setting up a life elsewhere this was communicated clearly and in writing to every person on the team everyone chose option A except for one guy all called Jack where Jack wanted to go the only roles available were all a huge step down and maybe only 20% of his previous pay I emailed Jack explaining this and asked him to confirm he confirmed that he understood okay then the arrangements took a couple of months of juggling numbers negotiating and Consulting lawyers I sent out the new employment contracts Jack's response was quick nasty and he cced every manager up his chain Conta included insulting didn't value staff Hypocrites you get the idea his managers responded before I even read the email Jack's next message apologized saying how he didn't have time to read emails and responded without reading everything and asked to switch to option A here's where I might be the jerk when I checked my email and saw his original response I withdrew his offer the amount of time effort and money that had gone into ensuring we could get them visas had already been quite costly if he was insulted by our effort then consider it withdrawn Jack emailed begging saying that he'd take option b I informed him that he was on Garden leave effective immediately and once we completed the dissolution of the company our relationship would come to an end and wished him luck am I the jerk these employees were all undergoing a major relocation situation and they couldn't even be bothered to re need the email they didn't deserve either option op is clearly not the jerk they were moving countries and they couldn't even skim the email to read the details you went to this person and said hey you're moving to a different country you have two options and they literally couldn't read the two options that just blows my mind am I the jerk for telling my ex his lack of money is not my issue I 36-year-old female have a daughter Satie 12 with my ex-husband John 39 we got divorced 5 years ago and I have primary custody while he sees her two weekends a month last year he got married to Amanda who has sole custody of her kids 10 and 8-year-old female from a previous marriage Amanda is a stay-at-home mom not for any health reasons or so on she just doesn't want to work while John works at 9 to5 he makes good money to support them but not enough to live in luxury I have a much higher paying job since it's just me and Sadie I make sure she has the best possible life she goes to a private school I set her up a college fund and she has much better things than most kids phone clothes Etc I still managed to raise her to be humble and not take things for granted and she's one of the hardest working people I know always making sure to get good grades and keeping her room tidy well the last few times she came back after a weekend at John's I noticed that the clothes she was bringing back in her duffel are a not her size and B much cheap cheaper and poorer quality than what I usually buy for her I asked her why that is and she told me that while she's at her dad's Amanda takes away her nice clothes and gives them to her kids while stii gets the clothes they buy from Target I asked her if she wanted them back but she said she didn't mind sharing since all her favorite clothes were kept here the problem came when I went to pick her up last weekend I had a business meeting and couldn't drive her over so Amanda offered to just pick stady up from school which hadn't happened before when I I got there on Sunday John and Amanda asked me to sit down with them and when STI came to hug me Amanda sent her to a room quite harshly saying her punishment wasn't over yet I was confused because STI very rarely misbehaves they sat me down in the kitchen and said that it was unfair for STI to be going to a private school while her kids go to a public one so they decided that STI would be pulled out of private school and put in the same school as the girls they also said that I should keep up sti's punishment because when they told her she blew up at them told them it wasn't fair and yelled that Amanda and her kids weren't even her real family that all they did was steal I told them in no uncertain terms to freak off I would not be pulling my child out of a school she likes away from her friends because they can't afford it I told them they could easily make as much money as me if Amanda started working in her field because she has the qualifications and the job markets it's very good I told them their money problems are not my issue and if SES items get stolen again or they try to pull her out of school I'll be taking this to court they've been blowing up my phone ever since calling me a selfish jerk and after telling the story to a friend he told me I was rubbing my success in their face but I still don't feel like I did anything wrong still am I the jerk I think clearly op is not the jerk and honestly I'm kind of appalled that while op can clearly afford them to go to this private school they're trying to justify pulling the kid out of that learning environment pulling them out of that great opportunity because it makes them feel insecure about how much bacon they can put on the table they're going to go and tank the kids' education do you guys feel for the reasons they presented here that these people are in no uncertain terms total jerks for trying to pull this kid out of private school let me know in the comments down below our next story is from the calapan duck am I the jerk for saying that it's freaking weird that my ex's wife's newborn has my last name I was married to my ex for 7 years until we divorced and when our separate ways four years ago after the divorce she kept my surname I didn't necessarily like it because it felt like she was still attaching herself to my family but I could understand the Practical reasons enough not to let it bother me she recently gave birth to a baby and posted a picture of sad child and revealed its name a friend sent it to me commenting about the surname and asking if I knocked her up following that four more people directly contacted me either congratulating me or asking for confirmation whether it's my child or not and my mother says she's been catching whispers about it too at church I bumped into her and her sister in town and obviously congratulated her then asked the kid's name she said the name I asked about the surname and she confirmed that the child's legal surname is obviously XYZ my n and asked if there was a problem now that pissed me off my surname is very unique especially in the area since my family's not originally from here so when people hear the surname they naturally think of my family and assume that this is my kid and it freaking isn't worse the father is apparently in the picture so I don't know what the freak is going on there I straight up said that it was freaking weird that she's giving her newborn the surname of the man she's divorced from who isn't in any way linked to the kid and sounds almost obsessive she said she gave her daughter her surname as the mother and not mine am I the jerk I mean whether or not they want to change their surname back to what it was before getting married or if they really like the new name and they want to keep it that's kind of their business that said having gone through that relationship and having been divorced for years and then passing that name on still down to a kid that has no relation no connection whatsoever to you I think you have the right to say that that's freaking weird I mean I think we can all kind of understand it though name changes are probably very annoying to undergo cost money and while it makes sense to pass down the name you have to your kid it's just the combination of all the details and the facts that make it really weird by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos this next story is from divided path 45534 am I the jerk for leaving dinner at my husband's family's house over a comment he made about my miscarriage my husband and I have been trying to have kids for 3 years I've had a series of miscarriages and not a single pregnancy was successful our recent one was a month ago and although my husband never said anything up until now these have been such trying times for me personally the tension and emotions are very overwhelming and I've become too sensitive even At The Mention Of The the topic he took me to his family's house for dinner last night and my miscarriage was brought up by his mom the look of disappointment on her face made me lose my appetite completely she went on and on about what might have caused it then my husband chimed in and said that he's starting to come to a conclusion that maybe I'm incapable of being a mom I was floored for two reasons one that he'd even say such a thing two is that no doctor has told me that there was something wrong with with me specifically so for him to declare that I was incapable of bearing children and being a mom hurt like a sting I looked at him and he was like what then told me not to get offended since he was just being honest he said he loves me and thinks I'm perfect but still thinks that I'm flawed in that area referring to Motherhood I had it at that point I just got up from my seat and took my stuff and headed to the door I said nothing just made my way out he shouted at me but but I didn't stop I went home and he came and started unloading on me about how immature and too sensitive and ridiculous I was being he said he was giving his honest opinion about the matter and I have no right to police the words that come out of his mouth whether I like what I'm hearing or not because it's still the truth we argued some then we stopped talking all together he keeps saying that I exaggerated and walked during dinner and disrespected him and his family over literally nothing I'm unsure if i h L this the right way or yet acted out of emotions I think I can say what most of us probably think having read this story which is op's feelings were nothing but legitimate I'm of the opinion that a miscarriage can be one of the toughest things you'll ever have to experience I've had family members who have experienced it and I remember hearing firsthand from them how distraught it can make them I think for your partner to go around and say that you're flawed in any way really is just a mind-bogglingly cold way to treat your significant other you're really expecting to be committed to this person for the rest of your life and trying to create life with them and are also comfortable enough turning around right in front of them looking your mom in the eye saying essentially yeah you know she might be just flawed in that area you know can't be a mom well all of a sudden I see a lot of flaws that's going on in this relationship and it ain't on the wife's side our next story is from face abstract 7679 am I the jerk for going off of my husband after he made a joke during his groom speech I'm prefacing this by saying that I female 30 always struggled with self-esteem I'm an introvert anxious socially awkward type of person which makes it worse I got introduced to makeup during my late 20s and that's now become both a source of income and a source of self-confidence and esteem my now husband always teased me about it mind you he's a jokester and is a bit on the sarcastic or brutally honest side I didn't have an issue as long as it was done privately meaning private teasing at our wedding I went a bit out of the box when it came to makeup but it looked matching and fitting obviously my husband didn't stop commenting on it during the wedding I was beginning to get annoyed but when it was time for his groom speech he looked at me and then said and my wife here who looks like an apartment store mannequin with that makeup on her face I was dumbfounded guess started laughing at me loose ly I felt so much rage I didn't know how to contain it I waited till his parents were around then I went off on him about what he said he said it was a joke and I took it too personally I argued with him about how I felt regarding his teasing in public but he insisted I blew this out of proportion and ruined the atmosphere for the wedding as well as humiliated him in front of his parents when I scolded him like he was a kid he sulked about it for 3 days then told me I needed to apologize for this negative vibe I brought upon him and for reacting so insanely over a joke I wonder if I really overreacted here am I the jerk I personally have a long-standing belief that jokester or not if there's some kind of topic or a line of joking that makes you uncomfortable or you've had enough of a certain kind of joke and you tell them specifically that you don't like it you don't want to hear it it'll make you sad or upset that there should be an expectation that you know they respect you that they respect your wishes you were at your wedding with them and they couldn't even do that our next story is from no Abalone 4276 am I the jerk for calling the police on the neighbors for letting their dog poo on their patio I have some neighbors a young couple around their 20s they've lived in the apartment next to mine for 2 years they have a dog a small one I've always noticed them taking the dog on walks but for the past 2 months I just see them putting some pads on their Pat IO and letting the dog go both ways there I've made complaints to them multiple times I've called them lazy and told them to give up the dog if they can't care for it properly I told them they're going with the easy way of not taking the dog for a walk and just letting them do whatever on the patio their argument is that first of all they clean up after the patio at least twice a day and that the dog does go on walks every night the girl also said it's none of my business on why she and her boyfriend don't take the dog out on walks and they don't have to answer to me the next morning I called the police SLU Health Services on them authorities came and inspected and said that no laws are broken and as long as the area is getting cleaned up daily then the couple's not breaking any laws I told them that the couple doesn't take the dog for walks and the police said that the couple has their reasons for that and I don't have to know these reasons now my whole apartment building sees me as the witch who called the police on the couple for that reason I later found out from another neighbor who confronted me that the reason they let the dog go on the patio is because the girl is pregnant and is on bed rest and her boyfriend takes the dog out late at night when he comes home from work and how I wasn't entitled to that info since they didn't break any laws in the first place and despite her bed rest the girl still tries to do her best everyone in the building is now hostile against me am I the jerk op is one of those Neighbors that I think you could very easily rip into for five plus minutes I think op is definitely the jerk I think Opie needs to get a new hobby other than watching their neighbors like a hawk looking for any opportunity to call some kind of hotline if that couple never took their dog for a walk never ever took their dog for a walk any time at all they still would not be breaking any laws and you couldn't call the cops on them for that what if for all you know the dog has a health condition or they're elderly I would say as far as taking care of dogs go the fact that they're laying down pea pads and making sure that not only do they go on those pads but cleaning up after them you're calling the cops on their responsible neighbors our next message is from hot message 3714 am I the jerk for kicking my best friend out of my house so my fiance could move in I'm female 24 my best friend Kate female 24 and I have lived together since we were 20 I'm staying at a house which belongs to to me after my grandma passed away and left it to me I didn't ask Kate to pay me any rent and she just contributes to the house expenses such as bills Etc I've been with my fiance 24-year-old male since we were 19 the first years of us being together he'd occasionally visit my place and I'd also go to his place but after we got more serious he started spending more time at my place and he'd usually stay in my room and not bother Kate Kate didn't have a problem at first but later she said I needed her permission to bring someone over I respected her wishes and whenever she didn't want them over I just went to my fiance's place but then she'd make a scene even the few times he'd come over she'd also make a scene about me leaving to go stay with him and how I'm a tourist at my own house for the record I never stopped paying for my share of bills and expenses one time the electricity and water bills were higher because my fiance would have visited and would have used water to shower and open the AC and heat on Etc I told Kate I'd pay more and she'd just have to pay her usual share and that she doesn't have to pay any more money at all but she didn't like that and demanded my fiance pays as well I told her that's not for her to decide and that's on me and him to figure out back when that happened we weren't engaged yet but because I knew the proposal time was near I started trying to have convos with Kate about how she should try finding her own house or go live with her parents because I plan on using this house to live with my partner and start a family here she didn't believe the proposal would happen soon despite this and said she'll look into it when the time comes I tried to warn her countless times but she never took me seriously so then my fiance proposed that was 4 months ago Kate was shocked and had a mental breakdown about how she can't live on her own and I should just give her some time I told her that my fiance plans to move in in 3 months and she could go stay with her parents my fiance moved in a month ago and Kate has made no move of finding a place or going to her parents my fiance has started paying bills and all in the house but Kate picks fights with them over household stuff and Arrangements all the time I confronted her and I told her that by next week all her things will be packed and she'll be out of my house and she doesn't get to make the rules here and that the house belongs to me in case she forgot she packed a couple of clothes and left that day and for the past few days she sent her sister and Mom to collect her stuff and they both claim I've been a crappy friend to Kate and how unacceptable it is that I prioritized housing my fiance over my childhood best friend and just kicking her out like this am I the jerk our next story is from AIT account 2754 am I the jerk for telling my cousin like the one you and your freak buddy had after she implied I was a gold digger I'm 27-year-old female my number one bucket list item is to go to Venice and two is to visit the ruins of Pompei my partner Zach 32-year-old male recently told me we're going to Italy early next year for my birthday gift now I want to add I never asked or pressured him to take me to Italy it's also something that I've personally been saving up for than the pandemic kid and all that jazz I'm truly overwhelmed and grateful for this a few days ago me and Zach went to a pod loock my cousin Allison 30-year-old female was on also there and I hadn't seen her in a while so we were just chatting background note Allison and her husband got divorced sometime last year because of infidelity on her part but she denies it I don't know the full story just what I've heard from family gossip so back to the potluck we got talking about holiday plans and I mentioned we were going to Italy she said she and her girlfriends were planning a European holiday at some point and asked me about flights hotel costs Etc I said I didn't really know the exact costs since Zach booked everything she looked surprised and said oh so it's kind of like gold digging right I said no it wasn't anything like that and it was a birthday gift Allison nodded and said something like it's okay some relationships are transactional I got pissed and said in a sarcastic tone they sure are like the one you and your freak buddy had she got really mad and that was the end of our conversation but her sister came up to me and said I was way out of line and hurtful Opie's not the jerk if there was ever a if the shoe fits moment this would be one of them you're going to just go around uncaringly accusing people of being gold diggers then you have no right to be all up in your feelings when you get return fire our next story is from Ken admirable 6285 am I the jerk for telling my wife's family my step kids are not more important than my daughter I was a widower when I met my wife 4 years ago she was a divorced mom of two I had a daughter also the three girls are 13 and 11 my stepdaughters and 12 my daughter my wife's ex was kind of an issue when we met but it was easy not to expose my daughter to him so I felt secure in moving forward my daughter really liked my wife and was excited to maybe have siblings my stepdaughters were fine with my daughter at first of course they didn't just call her sister magically or treat her the same right away but they were nice that all changed with than a month of my wife and I getting married 2 years ago the girl's dad hates my daughter and they the girls will spew that hate in our home and we use it to bully my daughter a grown man called my 10-year-old a fat repulsive Pig a who are and the reason abortion was invented to list only a few the girls have called her dumb they've mocked her for being shy and introverted I made it clear that it could not continue if we were to stay married and my wife was determined she would get get them to stop I got my daughter therapy and I did as much as I could to keep them separate but even at night they started to taunt her so I made the decision to move out with my daughter and I told my wife our marriage could not continue she begged me to stay she said she loves us and her girls need me I said my daughter comes first ever since I filed for the divorce my wife's family's been telling me how much my stepdaughters need me how badly they need to see a healthy and good father figure in their lives and and that I'll destroy them if I leave how they're important and I need to prioritize them I told them they're not more important than my daughter outrage ensued and I was asked how I could say that they said my wife was prioritizing my daughter and being loved by her should be enough for her to understand her sisters need me to stay in their lives and I'm a jerk for saying their granddaughters are not special I told them that isn't what I said but they said I dismissed two young girls and made it sound like they weren't worth fighting for am I the jerk I'll tell you one thing I know one person who's going to know for a fact that op is not the jerk and that's op's own daughter I can't tell you how many stories I've heard where somebody moves on and meets somebody new that person brings kids into the situation and that parent latches on to the new kids and leaves their own kid in the dust neglected for you to not only look out for your kid but to get them into therapy and do what you can to make life good for them I don't see how you could be the jerk this next story is from low ice 8875 am I the jerk at screaming at husband and forcing my son to pay for his boyfriend's medical bills out of his college fund my husband against my wishes decided to get our oldest Brian 16-year-old male a motorcycle for his 16th birthday a few months ago so they could go riding together it was a surprise last minute gift that I didn't know about they also apparently went and got his license for it behind my back I couldn't just take it from him when without looking like the bad guy since he already had it so I laid down strict rules he was supposed to only ever drive the speed limit and he could only drive it with his dad around and he was supposed to have no passengers on it me and my husband are separated right now and he's staying in a nearby apartment until we figure out what we're doing with our marriage Brian stays with me a week and stays with his dad the next week last Friday while Brian was at his dad's I get a call from the hospital saying him and his boyfriend Clark CLK 15-year-old male had been in a motorcycle accident I Rush down to the hospital and find Brian and he's kind of banged a gash on his forehead Some Cuts and bruises and a concussion I asked him what happened and he wouldn't look at me until he finally got out the nerve to tell me they wrecked on his motorcycle while he was taking Clark home from baseball practice and decided to street race some other guy he lost control of his bike and they flipped over now I was steaming and asked why the heck he was out riding his motorcycle without his dad and why he would do something so stupid especially riding with someone else he started crying saying he was sorry and that he just wanted to know if Clark was okay I went to check and found Clark's parents who were pissed and told me that Clark had broken a few ribs and his leg in two of his fingers I promised to take care of the medical bills which calmed them down some my husband showed up and tried to explain and apologize for letting Brian ride around with his boyfriend and I just went off on him in the middle of the hospital yelling at him that this is the reason why we're separated and that he was an irresponsible parent who never took anything seriously I went to talk to Brian still mad and told him that he'd be paying for all of Clark's medical bills out of his college fund and any money he'd been saving since then I'd been getting calls from my husband and my in-laws about how I was being a witch to my husband and that I shouldn't possibly be taking College away from Brian because of a mistake am I the jerk I think Gopi is not the jerk and unfortunately for Brian consequences have actions and sometimes you screw up bad and you got to learn pretty badly deciding to street race at 16 on a motorcycle it's a pretty dumb idea so having to pay for any medical bills that let's be honest Brian caused is pretty fair even if it does make going to college a little bit harder you should just be grateful that he or his boyfriend aren't dead right now our next story is from blazion invasions am I the jerk for sharing our 40 page prenup to my husband's family after they called me a gold digger for years for starters my husband no longer talks to his family except the few who are always nice to me he grew up in a family that has generational wealth and only cares about Prestige where do you go to school what's your job title how much do you make how much is your home this is dinner conversation they hated me from the start because I don't have their breeding their actual words and they were Beyond rude to me I grew up in a working class family my dad's a Tradesman and my mom's a teacher we grew up middle class and I had a happy childhood my husband resents his parents because they sent him off to boarding school and never paid him attention when he met my family they welcomed him immediately and treated him like a son it was the attention he had never had and he would do anything for for my family at our wedding his cousins made a scene about how poorly dressed my family was particularly my dad and made them feel bad because they weren't wearing brand name clothes my husband spent part of our wedding consoling my family members about how rude his family was being our families had not interacted much before this but after he decided on his own that he would never speak to some of his family again here's the kicker while my family's not rich I am I started my own software company and sold it for over $5 million in 2010 I took most of that and invested in technology stocks my net worth is eight figures whereas my husband has a trust in the seven figures we don't flash fancy cars an absurd home or brand name anything the recent drama started with his uncle his aunt stays in contact with us and she's one of the few who are genuinely nice like showing up to help me after I had surgery however her husband is an open racist and was heard screaming in the background ask your nephew why you still with that slur gold digger opposites really do attract let's be real I know many in his family hate me because I'm not white but they definitely also hate me because they think I'm poor his uncle made another comment about how I brainwashed my husband to buy our new apartment meanwhile I purchased it and it's in my name I've heard it all before but something about how his uncle said it really pissed me off and I had enough so I sent an email to several of his family members with our prenup showing the long list of assets under my name this shut them up good in fact I've noticed some of his cousins acting a lot nicer lately this didn't sit well with my family or my husband my husband doesn't care that they know we have a prup but he didn't want them to know how much I have he's more worried that his family will try to leech off me now very ironic I don't regret my actions but my husband keeps saying I messed up am I the jerk I want to say that op is not the jerk here because it's so satisfying just to prove them wrong all these ridiculous claims but also going on your own accord and sharing a 40 page prenup between you and your husband to them like that I think is a bit much especially without his consent or knowing I think bottom line op acted out in a moment of frustration and it got the better of them and they did something they really just probably shouldn't have done but I don't think they're the jerk for it and our final story of the day is from Ecto Prime am I the jerk for fooling my wife with our weight scale my wife for the last few weeks has been working out and trying to lose weight knowing this is hard but also knowing she would fall off if no results were showing I tried to help I told our smart skill to add 10 PBS to the scale and slowly backed it off over the next week a pound or so a day she was so excited to see that number go down rapidly that it seemed to motivate her more she was eating better more water walking more it was great then one morning I fell asleep with my phone on my chest and she could see the scale settings she was angry and once we set it to plus Zer she could see that she only lost 5 lb overall not the 15 lb or better she thought she claimed I was nuts to mess with her and I explained that knowing her as well as I do there had to be some real gains for her to keep it up I kind of know the answer but wondering what complete strangers think thanks guys yeah I think this is kind of a rhetorical question to put out there while op might ultimately have truly had the best of intentions being deceitful and lying especially with something like scales and weight not a good idea especially depending on the weight that the wife is actually at where you know if this was still ongoing and op was fooling them they had gotten them used to literally losing losing a pound or so a day well when you reach that plus zero they would just slam into that wall and all of a sudden probably be hyper discouraged because none of it is getting burnt off like it used to am I the jerk for humiliating my wife on social media to defend my mom we have finally gotten no contact with my mom it was a long hard decision but she and my wife are just fundamentally unable to get along and recently had a vicious fight and I knew I had to put my wife first this fight was so bad my mom didn't even protest the no contact we're just done with each other but I can't say it hasn't been gut-wrenching my mom's given her version of the story to everyone so I get my wife wants to defend herself but I hate that she's posting on social media because I find that tacky and my mom just told people verbally anyway my wife made a couple posts about my mom's behavior over the years which hey they were true but then she claimed my mom weree White to our wedding she didn't and she posted a picture to prove it the picture isn't from our wedding it's from my mom's own wedding and my wife labeled it the motherson dance I was mortified I don't even care about the white dress but the man my mom was with was her husband not me face was cropped out and I felt humiliated he was holding her very intimately hand on her lower back her head buried in his chest my mom and I would never touch like that and it made me feel ick heck my mom was stiff during the actual mothers Sun dance I know some families are more affectionate but I would just never do that I asked my wife to take it down and she refused I took it into my own hands and commented honey I think you're confused that stepdad's name remember that was their wedding she actually wore green to ours and posted the pictures for proof my wife was Furious and deeply hurt she broke down crying and said I publicly humiliated her her and sided with my mom she said she just wanted a little bit of petty revenge and I should have taken her side it's been a day and she's still clearly upset so I think op's not the jerk here I'm not one for the whole misinformation Petty Revenge attack would you guys agree with me when I say just based off of the reactions here that maybe the whole disagreement is more a problem generated from the wife and maybe not the mom or do you think it's going too far to try to suggest the wife might be the one at fault for all this fighting just based off of how they reacted let me know what you guys think in the comments down below our next story is from automatic effort 2227 am I the jerk I told my daughter she can live with me with this condition I 34-year-old male had a child 10 years ago Nova 10 I was a terrible person back then I didn't stay in her life and I deeply regret it a few months ago I contacted her mom to see if I can see my child she happily agreed to co-parent with me and seemed relieved which was understandable considering she had four other kids all younger than Nova Nova was a bit distant at first but now we're doing better she's generally a very good kid but something I realized about her is that no punishment seems to work on her and also she can be very disrespectful at times if I tell her to do something as a punishment she won't do it or if I ground her she'll just leave without my permission I asked her mom how she punishes her and she said she's never punished her before what I've heard from Nova is that it seems like she would just cuss her out and yell at her which I don't think are good punishments for a kid two nights ago Nova asked me if she can leave with me from now on I told her I'd love it but she can live with me with one condition she has to follow my rules and be respectful she didn't say anything after that after she went back to her mom's home my mom who was there when Nova asked me this told me I was a jerk because if a kid is asking her deadbeat dad to take her in there must be something very wrong so you don't make conditions for her you just say yes and take her in was I really wrong to have this condition I can't be a parent if she doesn't listen to me but now both my mom and daughter refuse to talk to me her mom will likely have no problem with this she seems too busy with her other kids and I think she would like being the weak and fun parent so that's not really a problem I think op is the jerk here because first of all they're 10 years old what kind of rambunctious disrespectful Behavior are you really expecting second of all I think it was wholly unnecessary because the kinds of things Opie was asking of a 10-year-old kid it's kind of implied already when you live with a parent follow rules and be respectful isn't that what kids are supposed to do that's not something you have to sign up for that's should be expected and also it's your 10-year-old kid they're turning to you for a reliable place to live and your first response to your 10-year-old kid is well you could work out if you follow some rules it comes off like you just don't care this next story is from throwaway 6977 57 am I the jerk for calling my husband selfish and saying no to the arrangements he made I female 33 have been married to my husband male 38 for 2 years he has a 9-year-old son from his former marriage he's always been on bad terms with his ex they had a messy divorce and basically hate each other's guts it got worse after his ex got remarried the current problem started when he found out that his ex-wife planned to go on vacation without their son my stepson why because her new husband didn't want him to go probably because it's a romantic getaway my husband pitched a fit and insisted they take my stepson but she refused my husband then brought him to stay with us not his days but I welcomed him and made sure to keep him entertained and happy all was good until I I found out that my husband has booked tickets for a vacation to the same places ex and her new husband were going same Hotel same everything he booked the tickets in mine and his son's name only I was confused I asked him about it and he said he did this despite his ex and show her that she can't exclude his son from a vacation and who the better parent is he told me he's arranged for everything and all I had to do was take time off work and take his son and go I was shocked and I asked if he was serious and he confirmed it I went off on him saying I can't just take time off work and go with a son to a place I've never been before just so he could one up his ex he ranted about how busy he was otherwise he would have taken care of this himself but sent me instead I yelled saying I've got a lot on my plate I work full-time I take care of my cancer stricken mom I clean cook and take care of my stepson on top of that he said my boss will understand if I take time off unlike his but in response I called him selfish and said no to this Arrangement and told him it was final he flipped his crap on me then told his son that I just said no to a fun vacation for him funded by his dad I told him to stop it because I hate commitments and won't risk losing my job over an unexpected vacation and for what we just got back from one a month ago he's been ranting about how I'm wasting his time and money by declining to go and that his son will hate me for this forever I don't care what this husband thinks what justification he has you can't just force a trip upon somebody especially one that has real serious commitments and expect them to ever just be truly happy with it it could be tickets to their dream vacation spot with all expenses included Hotel and Spa and everything beautiful and they would still be justified to be angry and upset because who has the ability to just drop everything at a DME time take time off work immediately and set sail the husband absolutely wasted their money and they should feel bad about it by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos our next story is from next leadership 2388 am I the jerk for mocking my annoying coworker after she'd been in an accident I have a cooworker Hannah who hates the fact that I come to work by car every time I mention traffic parking or or I'm a little late she goes why don't you bike to work instead or should have taken the tram it's immune to traffic the bike park has plenty of space Etc it's incredibly annoying and she always does this a few days ago a car turned on Hannah while she was riding her bike to work and she suffered some very minor injuries nothing serious just a broken arm and a concussion our team put together a little present for her everybody wrote a note and another coworker delivered it to Hannah's apartment my note said should have come by car I thought it was a funny joke but apparently not it got delivered to her and she told the others who came to me and called me Petty and insensitive and are now acting very cold towards me I think they're overreacting it was just a joke am I the jerk I think Opie is definitely the jerk honestly if you're trying to joke there you have to make sure that you are actually that close to that person like just put yourself in her shoes if you're driving your car and you crash or something accidentally and they send you a Getwell note that says told you you should have used a bike would that be funny Would you be laughing you'd probably want to rip their head off also everybody agrees with me when I say a broken arm and a concussion are not very minor injuries right op was crazy in labeling that right A traumatic brain injury very minor our next story is from impressive PP am I the jerk for telling a neighborhood Runner I wouldn't leash my dog we live in country suburbs neighborhood is surrounded by Farmland the neighborhood is full of transplants in the tech industry the neighborhood is brand new still building houses we have a golden who is incredibly well trained and walks no more than 3 ft ahead of us or beside we were walking towards the fields to play fetch and a man started running towards us he stops a few feet away and asks us to leash our dogs we said no thank you he said what if I was a AF of dogs what if I was allergic I said well then you shouldn't be sprinting towards an Unleashed dog he didn't like that answer and I explained to him that we're essentially in the country and he is trained to be off leash and it's very clear that he would never hurt anybody because he's a stranger who's raising his voice and our dog hasn't reacted whatsoever sitting pretty by our side he told me I must be having a bad day I calmly said not at all I told you no we won't be putting him on a leash and you aren't getting your way he threatened calling the HOA I laughed and told him to take my picture while he's at it and I'll give him my address as a huge dog lover I've had dogs all my life I would say confidently op is the jerk the bottom line I feel is it doesn't matter how well trained your dog truly is they should be on a leash when you're outside they're trained but they're still an animal you just don't know if there's going to be one bad day and and especially if something frightening happens your dog might be very very well trained to come right back to you but one crazy thing happens pandemonium some wild animal comes chasing and that dog is gone bottom line it might be annoying but it's just better to put a leash on your dog and walk them around safely you can get a leash that lets your dog go 3 ft from you just get one of those long super long retractable ones if you need our next story is from Thunder deserve 9096 am I the jerk for not paying to remove well on my property so the neighbor can replace the septic tank my husband and I would like to get another point of view regarding an issue we're having with our nextor neighbor little background we're cordial but not friends we bought our house 8 years ago they maybe 14 they own a construction landscaping company and have trucks and workers coming on our residential street daily I assumed to pick up work orders over the years they've done extensive Landscaping to their backyard using our sidey yard to get there because they built a huge deck so close to the property line absolutely gorgeous Landscaping in the last 2 years they started to work on an adjacent sidey and we noticed they planted small Palms in front of our sprinklers long story short they thought they had approximately 6 to eight more feet than they had this came to light when they moved our sprinklers over and we said something about them planting in front of them the neighbor approached husband a few weeks ago that they needed a new septic tank and our our unpermitted well was within 50 ft and would need to be moved hubby says we'll move it for you if you pay for it she says well it may be an issue since you don't have a permit we make a few calls our realtor makes a few calls for us to septic coowner it's a small town and she tells us that they can apply for a variance it had to have been permitted etc etc we aren't worried neighbor knocks on her door and hubby and I speak to her she asks if there's any way we can work with her and her husband because yes they can apply for a variance but it costs $1,800 and there's no guarantee that the county will approve it she asks if we can just move our well hubby says we will if you pay for it she says she shouldn't have to since we don't have a permit this is where I may have been a jerk I did raise my voice and told her we weren't paying for anything you're trying to make your problem our problem she said it was our problem because the county now knows we don't have have a permit so they may make us move it we said we talked to some people and we weren't worried and I again said your problem not ours stop trying to make it our problem she said we may bring legal action we said do what you have to do and slam the door we found our copy of the permit that the former owners left us by the way her passive aggressive threat of the permit pissed me off and I did raise my voice to her so am I the jerk for raising my voice to neighbor Absolut absolutely not the jerk this person was doing exactly what op said they were trying to make it their problem honestly I think the only thing that truly sucks here is they have to live next to a neighbor who's clearly going to be biased and have hatred for them for not spending x amount of hundreds of dollars to move the septic tank for them if you want your neighbors to move something that costs hundreds so you can continue to do some Home Improvement crap well tough crap unless you pay for it this next story is from gonan am I the jerk for telling my sister it's ridiculous to divorce someone who gave her a fake ring I 23-year-old female have an older sister 29-year-old female who's married to my brother-in-law my brother-in-law seems to genuinely love her and they've never shown a sign of a failing relationship that was of course until yesterday when my sister phoned me while crying heavily I asked her what was wrong and she told me her friend who was a jeweler was suspicious of the Ring my brother-in-law gave to her and urged her to confirm the material of the Ring my sister continued and told me that the results showed that the ring was not made from Diamond but in fact moonite she told me she didn't tell her husband yet but she's considering a divorce because she thought that my brother-in-law didn't really love her even though he supposedly had enough money I don't know how much money he has so as of now I can't really confirm if he did or did not have the money I told her it was pretty ridiculous to only divorced brother-in-law just because he bought her a fake ring she sarcastically told me something along the lines of thanks for being so helpful before hanging up I get she was in an emotional moment but love shouldn't revolve around a ring am I the jerk this next story is from easy and free am I the jerk for asking my parents and in-laws to leave our wedding early I officially tie the nod last week not sure how but I convinced the coolest guy in the world that I'm toer enough to tie down for life super shocking thankfully everyone accommodated the fact that we didn't want children present at our ceremony or reception the thing that did receive some push back was our request that unless you were explicitly invited to stay then everyone needed to be out of the reception venue by 700 p.m. those who were asked to stay were mostly just mine and my husband's friends as much as I love my parents siblings and new in-laws I did want to partake in a few adults substances and wasn't really interested in them bearing witness to poppers and other things getting passed around we'd been with them all day and would be seeing them the next morning as all of us were staying at a place nearby and had plans to grab breakfast together so I didn't see it as a problem at that point I'd already had a few drinks so after some back and forth about whether they really had to head out I basically said something to the effect of if you wouldn't feel comfortable spending a night out with with us at a gay bar you should probably leave the space cleared out pretty quickly after that and we did our thing with our friends it was a wonderful end to a wonderful night my dad however didn't show up for breakfast the next morning and my sister tipped me off that my mom and my mother-in-law weren't happy with my comments am I the jerk I mean I'm all for you having the wedding of your dreams and whatnot but I just feel like it's a weird process to kick everybody out and essentially make all these people feel like they're not close enough to you or not important enough to hang around and frankly the comments were a bit weird basically telling everybody at the wedding sorry you didn't make it on the VIP list kick rocks kind of painful for a lot of people I bet imagine telling your mom and dad on your wedding day to go home early essentially our next story is from OK tutor 2934 am I the jerk for being pissed that my dad BR his husband on our family trip I'm 15-year-old female male my dad 54-year-old male is married to Jacob 50-year-old male and to be honest I don't like Jacob as he just annoys me I don't know if they intentionally do what they do or if they don't even realize that they're doing it but either way it pisses me off which is why I dislike Jacob very much I can never get a lone time with just my mom and my dad without Jacob being there and I've specifically said all the time that I just want my dad and my mom there but it doesn't even matter to them because Jacob turns up either way and yes I've communicated with them about this but it's like they don't even listen anyways yesterday was supposed to be only me my mom and my dad going to an amusement park but also my half sister 3-year-old female my mom's daughter I told my dad and Jacob that I didn't want Jacob there but guess what he turned up anyways also this event was for me and it wasn't an event that was for the whole family it was for me and I wanted my sister my mom and my dad to be there only I was pissed when Jacob turned up so instead of letting it go like I normally do I lashed out at my dad and Jacob for Jacob being there I told my dad that Jacob didn't always need to come along and that he needed to stop bringing Jacob to my events that I specifically said I didn't want him to attend my dad was poised and Jacob started crying which only made me more mad Jacob is a grown man and I talked to him about this as well so it's not like he was just clueless to the whole thing so I didn't understand why he was crying and maybe I was a bit harsh when I lashed out but because I've been gentle with this many many times and I was just done with being gentle with them I lashed out now to mention my mom is the one paying for all this so she was also pissed that Jacob turned up when he wasn't even supposed to be there I never see my dad without Jacob being there and it just gets so tiring when you can't even talk to your dad alone with his husband/wife being there my mom and family are completely on my side but my dad and Jacob are pissed at me so am I the jerk I think op's not the jerk here I don't blame op for wanting to have one-on-one time with just their dad or a group moment with just their actual parents the problem here is because Jacob is being so insistent on always being there there's never been any time for op to build up that feeling that they're satisfied with how much one-on-one time they've gotten with their dad so this has only created more and more discontent and I feel like it's hard to fix at this point Jacob needs to give the 15-year-old girl some space and let them have some one-on-one time with their dad this next story is from please don't Spin FX am I the jerk for not wanting to take a DNA test I'm 32-year-old female my dad passed away when I was a wee baby he was in a car accident with with his pregnant female subordinate who was also his longtime mistress she did survive the crash but lost the baby and ended up in an almost vegetative state she's still alive my parents had me after 8 years of marriage after dealing with years of infertility my dad was rich he came from old money and while married in my mother created his own fortune my mom came from humble beginnings they had an arranged marriage while they were married my dad was in charge of the finances and when he when he died everything went to my mom she married my dad's younger brother a few years later and had my siblings they're still happily married we had a very happy childhood and my grandparents dad's parents who have since passed were very involved I had an extremely privileged upbringing now here's where I might be the jerk a girl claiming to be my half sister my dad's mistress's daughter has contacted me saying that her mom is on her last legs and that she's trying to get some money for the hospital bills she's 2 years older than me and claims that she's my dad's daughter and is entitled to my family's money I have refus to take a DNA test she's now threatened to take me to court I refuse to meet her or discuss this issue her family's now harassing me about it and they tell me that I'm trying to steal her money and that she's my dad's firstborn child when I told my mom about this she told me to ignore her and go on with my life am I the jerk our next story is from Life percentage 5567 am I the jerk for writing up an employee who catfished me I'm a manager in a work environment that's rather casual where employees get close and spend a lot of time together outside of work I'm a little traditional when it comes to employer/employee relationships so while I do participate in some activities to build morale and camaraderie I.E happy hours after work attending weddings if I'm invited Etc I do not participate in social activities where things might get out of hand I.E going to concerts clubbing just going to someone's house to hang out Etc this is a personal policy that I also extend to social media where I keep my profiles private and I don't add or accept employees on all platforms I just like to keep things private and don't want them to see where I spend my time who I'm dating Etc recently a new hire asked me for my account and I kindly let her know that I'd like to keep things private I thought that was it but she went ahead and made a fake account to follow me going as far as to post fake photos and write a fake bio to look like we went to college together I found out because after I accepted her she took screenshots of my photos and shared them to other colleagues thankfully there wasn't anything off base on my accounts but she did share photos of a new boyfriend I haven't introduced yet as well as photos of a new designer bag I purchased and jokingly asked everyone if he was my sugar daddy it was a huge breach of my privac y her comments also embarrassed me and I ended up writing her up which is a semi-serious offense at our workplace that can lead determination since then it's caused a huge drama at work with some employees thinking that I can't take a joke and that I was taking things too far While others came to support me I hate that it split up the team upper management supports my decision but some employes have mentioned that I could have just verbally warned her first and that it was my own fault for falling for her cat fish am I the jerk I think op's clearly not the jerk here and this isn't something that you laugh off or give a verbal warning for they literally went behind your back to lie to you as to who they are so they can peer into your personal life and try to invade on you that's not something you tolerate you slap down a ride up because that is not okay you don't pry into someone's life just cuz you're curious and then also show their photos around and joke about having a sugar daddy and embarrassing them as a person that en enjoys their privacy what that coworker did is ridiculous this next story is from mucker 113 am I the jerk for asking my wife to work after I told her she didn't have to 16 years ago we got married in ' 06 we had three kids and 3 years following and I stated to her that she can raise the kids while I work now the kids are 10 14 and 15 and in school from 8:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. daily so I asked her to get a part-time job to assist with a couple of our bills she went off on me stating I lied when I said she could be a stay-at-home mom when we got married and her family and mine are agreeing with her but I said it's getting to be a mental strain on me financially since I've taken two pay cuts at work and don't have the luxury of looking for new employment I've even started doing food deliveries on the weekends just to keep the two older kids in sports programs and when my youngest asked to do gymnastics and I saw the cost I said I can without sacrificing other required bills and now she says if I can't afford a family Why Did I Get Married I'm just at a loss as to what to do I work from home and even offered my wife a job with me part-time while the kids are in school just to answer a few of my calls and transfer them appropriately to the Departments they need my family stated that I told her she doesn't have to work but our needs have changed since the kids require so much more money now than they did when they were younger and now my wife hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks and both sides of the family agree with her yeah it sucks that 16 years ago also 2006 being 16 years ago hurts me to hear but it sucks that 16 years ago you said oh you're going to be a stay-at-home mom you won't have to lift a finger besides around the house and with the kids but stuff changes is this a marriage why is the wife just tearing down op for admitting that they need more help this doesn't seem like a partnership to me she'd rather brutally put down op than just try and make their kids' lives better I fear that they're just going to drive op to a Breaking Point and if they just give up what's going to happen I hope both sides of the family that are saying op's the total jerk and is in the wrong here are going to be willing to pitch in for that entire family and our final story of the days from healthy Escape 1802 am I the jerk for not wanting my atheist friend to be religious around me this sounds strange but I 17-year-old female have found a job recently and I've quickly become friends with one of one of my co-workers 19-year-old female Amy I'm Muslim but my family aren't very strict Muslims and neither am I Amy knows I'm Muslim and knows about some of the general rules and stuff some of which I don't follow lately Amy's been calling me out on things I do saying that it's against my religion I did tell her that I'm not a strict Muslim but it hasn't stopped her normally I wear jeans and hoodies to work but since it's been warm I wore a skirt and Amy pointed out that I should be cover in my legs more but I just rolled my eyes and then she saw me eating M&M's which are mostly not Halal so she told me to stop eating them I didn't and I told her that I wanted her to stop policing me even my parents don't say this stuff to me she said that she's just helping me practice My Religion so I told her that she should just practice it if she's going to keep correcting me she told one of our other co-workers who says that I was in the wrong because I was being rude after she tried to help help me am I the jerk I think op's not the jerk here because they never asked for any help maybe op should turn it around on them the next time Amy Says something like God I wish my shift was over Opie should say well actually you're atheist so you don't even believe in it so why are you saying that you know pick and PR at them to be a better atheist maybe they'll realize it's kind of ridiculous am I the jerk for serving fake meat and pretending it was real my two daughters are vegetarian but my husband and son are not I'm probably what they would call a flexitarian my son and husband always turn up their noses at tofu or any other meat Alternatives they say it's just weird that it's made to resemble real meat so it's really the concept and not the taste there are no allergies my family and I often make two versions of dinner one meat one reel and twice the amount of pots and pans there's an equal distribution of cleaning and cooking in this house thankfully my daughters had a fun prank idea of making two pots of spaghetti sauce under the pretense that one was meat they were both the soy ground beef the goal here was to see if their brother and father actually hated the meat and to see if we could maybe save some dishes and time in the future everyone loved dinner both husband and son finished their placeat this is when my youngest couldn't hold it in anymore and told them they both got very upset about being fed something other than what they were told Reddit am I the jerk I think personally op is not the jerk here because while they were lied to as far as what they were fed I think there were good intentions here and it wasn't anything that would hurt them and very clearly they enjoyed it could op be the jerk at all for misleading them here feeding them something other than what they thought they were eating let me know what you guys think down in the comments our next story is from long jumping draw 864 am I the jerk for telling my co-worker I'll cover up my shoulders when he starts wearing shoes my workplace doesn't have a dress code so everyone dresses very casually today I was wearing a top with thin straps with long pants and my shoulders were showing one of my co-workers Brian was giving me angry looks all day and when I finally asked him what's wrong he told me that he thought better of me than to dress in barely any clothes to work at that moment Brian was wearing pretty short shorts and was barefoot he dressed like this the whole summer and the office is carpeted he only puts his slippers on if he's going to the bathroom or or the kitchen I told Brian that I'll start covering up my shoulders when he starts wearing shoes to the office if I have to watch his hairy toes at work he can deal with the side of my shoulders that of course didn't help he put on his headphones and didn't even look in my direction the rest of the workday now I'm wondering if I was wrong to say that he is a cooworker and I should Thrive for good work relationships but I felt insulted so I kicked it back at him am I the jerk is this guy like a middle schooler or something something like are they stuck on the dress code policies when growing up who cares if you're wearing a strappy top that shows shoulders next thing you know they're going to tell you to start covering up those ankles too think about the Amish op by the way them going Barefoot at the office is way weirder than ever showing shoulders this next story is from purple dingo am I the jerk for excusing myself to throw up when my boyfriend's family gave me meat knowing I was vegan I've been vegan for 10 years and vegetarian for three before that one thing to know is that after not eating meat a person can't jump right back into eating a lot of it without some seriously unpleasant digestive issues it has to be reintroduced slowly I found that out by chance when I actually got drunk at a bonfire party got confused between the veg chili and the meat chili and spent the next day and a half fighting for my life on the toilet or another time I had a stew with meat by accident and it came out both ends at the same time that was fun to clean after these experiences I've decided that if I ever eat meat by accident again I'm just going to have a quick puke because at least that's better than a day or two of stomach issues so last week I was visiting my boyfriend and his family and his parents and brother have always given me crap for being vegan they crack jokes about it all the time but this week they were kind of pleasant and on the last day said they made me a meatless family Ree recipe the pasta with chunky red sauce with a bunch of veggies and stuff it was kind of weird tasting but I was polite about it when they asked and I said I liked it then his dad was like ha did you hear her she said she liked it and the whole family except my boyfriend and I were acting like it was some big joke then his dad revealed it had ground beef in the sauce I was like God darn it internally because I had a 4-Hour flight the next morning morning and I did not want to spend it blowing up the airplane bathroom so I was like excuse me and walked to the bathroom his family was like what the freak so as bit of an answer to them I didn't shut the door when I did what I was about to do have a puke it was a little dramatic honestly but I'd rather it come out once easily than unpleasantly on the plane or bus especially because the bus has no bathrooms his family was getting mad at me for throwing up with the door open because my boyfriend's brother's kid daughter got grossed out and puked on the floor too I was pissed off but decided it was better to spend my energy just screwing off so I was like better out than in right I bounced and my boyfriend came with me though we'd been trying to talk with his family before I put my foot down and said I was out with or without him he's mad at his family for obvious reasons but he's also kind of upset with me for how I handled stuff feeling like making everyone hear and see me wretch not cleaning up the splatter and then heading out fairly wordlessly I was like nah I handled it fine I wasn't being dramatic I didn't want to be blowing up the airplane toilet tomorrow and the splatter they're darn lucky it wasn't coming from the other end at that point I started laughing at the idea which made my boyfriend matter he was saying that kind of vile stuff was screwed up and I was like chill it's a joke he's upset with me for that I'm mad at his family and I'm Wonder ing am I the jerk for puking after my boyfriend's family tricked me into eating meat even though I'm vegan and would cause digestive heck for me I think it's safe to say that op is not the jerk here unlike our earlier story this isn't some harmless prank feeding meat to a vegetarian can have actual digestive consequences and frankly it sounds awful and I don't blame op one bit for what they did they're just lucky op didn't start puking at the dinner table this next story from throw R a535 24434 am I the jerk for telling my brother's fiance that the reason she couldn't get a degree was because of her choice to be a mom I'm female 24 my brother Adam male 30 met a single mom female 32 from Latin Origins Michelle a year ago and they recently got engaged we only met her a few times but he brought her and her son over for dinner on Sunday to be quite honest the family and I didn't know much about her so after dinner we started talking to her about her personal life she told us she has only high school education and degree she said she always wanted to go to college and obtain a degree but said that it was so hard to do I found that a bit cliche especially after she started complaining about lack of opportunities and resources I told her I disagreed because colleges give all kinds of opportunities and scholarships and that the real reason she couldn't go to college was because of the fact that she was a mom and had to raise a kid she stared at me silently looking offended then asked if I was implying that her decision to be a mom ruined her opportunities I told her only she could answer that question once she takes a look at her life and sees if she's really happy where she is versus where she could have been without the whole struggling mom thing she got upset and told me that she's happy with her life and her job at the salon and said that she didn't appreciate how judgmental and condescending I was towards her and her child Adam heard the commotion and asked what was going on she told him and he decided it was time to leave she couldn't even wait or say goodbye she took her son and went to wait in the car Adam chewed me out saying it was a none of my business how she's living her life but I explained that I was stating an opinion nothing more nothing less mom sided with them saying I was out of line rude and ridiculous but my younger sister said that Michelle was being too sensitive and she should get over herself already Adam left and then my mom called him in the evening the next day then came into my room to yell at me saying I made Michelle cry with what I said now Mom wants me to apologize but I'm not sure whether I was out of line here our next story is from alternative comb 669 am I the jerk for lying to my friend's family about where she was so she could leave the country this just happened and my own parents just found out and are very angry with me my friend College friend got married 2 years ago and 6 months ago she found her husband in a compromising position with another man the truth came out that he only married her to have kids and a save face because in my culture same-sex relationships are taboo he used her she filed for divorce and moved back home even though she told her family what happened while they were upset in our culture females are blamed for nearly everything wrong in a marriage and this case was no different also because arranged marriages are the norm and she came from an ultra conservative family they decided to find another match for her here's where things get Icky because she was used now in their eyes they started looking for a man 10 times her senior and that is exactly what they find he was divorced three times had four kids who lived with him and was 13 years her senior she didn't get a say she begged them not to do this her parents didn't listen to her they got her engaged last week and she was at my house crying yesterday now I'm a little impulsive and I have some savings my friend also has a US Visa valid for three more years I have some friends there who are in HR and good companies I told her that if she was willing I'd get her a ticket and she can leave the country it's a huge step for girls in our country but she didn't want to get married to a man like that after not even having recovered from her previous trauma I talked my friend into the whole idea and she went home to sneak her passport out of her dad's cupboard I got her a ticket and gave her the rest of my money and cash and some she got from selling all her gold and dropped her off of the airport her flight was in 6 hours she was still at the airport when her parents showed up panicking asking where she was I lied about knowing and they're having a breakdown right now I just W her safely out of the country before I say anything my friend just got on her flight and she was on the phone with me when my parents overheard they're pissed off at me for lying to her parents and told me that this is none of my business now they're calling her parents to tell her she's not dead in a ditch somewhere but has run away I don't know what's going to happen they demanded where she is and I'm refusing to tell my entire family thinks I'm the jerk but I don't I mean I guess this depends on the culture you live in but I feel like most people would say that op is not the jerk here and the whole arranged marriage thing is super duper weird I just can't imagine allowing your parents to pick your at least supposedly forever partner let alone one that's so much older than you and the implications of what you have to do being in marriage with somebody that you never even wanted to be with it's just all kinds of horrendous sounding this next story is from many cryptographer 3 am I the jerk for leaving on my honeymoon the day after my brother's wedding so my wife and I got married during the early days of Co we couldn't go on our honeymoon due to the lockdown so we put it on hold we've been married for more than a year now my older brother got engaged during Co and is having their ceremony this year due to the nature of my job I can only take leave twice a year I'm a doctor and work most weekends and am quite burnt out so we decided to book a relaxing honeymoon overseas at a resort due to the leave issue I booked the trip for the day after my brother's wedding which was my last available leave for the year my wife told me I should probably speak to my brother first before we book in case they have any issues I spoke to my parents and brother and everyone understood so I thought I would be fine here's when things started to get weird two months before the wedding and trip I was on a call with my parents I mentioned booking the trip and they asked what trip I told them the honeymoon I'm leaving to after the wedding then they said you're going on a trip right after the wedding that was weird because I know I spoke to them about this the next day I get a call from my brother asking me whether I booked a honeymoon the day after his wedding I told him I did and he seemed quite upset he said won't this take away attention from their special day and can't I do it some other time I told him we spoke about this and he said he was fine also I have no other time in the year where this is possible he said he remembers now about the conversation but he only really processed it now so I don't know it seems like everyone's so quick to give advice but not really listen to what you're saying I don't think anyone here is a bad person it's just frustrating that we took the time to speak to people but it's obvious they weren't really paying attention now I'm feeling guilty about my trip people don't seem to understand that working in a hospital is very different to an office job I can't just take leave whenever I want and the environment is incredibly stressful this next story is from dangerous spot 5372 am I the jerk for not letting a coworker move in with me when she might become homeless I 32-year-old female live alone in a one-bedroom apartment recently a cooworker let's call them Ally has been coming to my supervisor to talk and visit almost every shift they've been talking about how Allie's had a downturn in job performance and might be laid off soon if things don't improve Ali is nice and outgoing but not reliable when it comes to office work the past couple of days my supervisor has been very interested in my living situation always asking how the area is how I decorate my space and how my relationship is with the property management they've even started making comments about how lucky I am to live alone and how important Community is yesterday after alie's usual gossip visit my supervisor messaged me on the company chat asking if I knew of any open apartments that Ally could rent for cheap when I told them that there's only a few apartments in my building and they're all occupied they asked me to come over to their desk for a talk it turns out that alie's current roommates are breaking lease and she needs a place to stay for over half an hour they went on about how I could let her live with me and how good it would be to car pool split expenses and have company at home I tried to keep the shocked look look off my face as I told them I felt for Ally and her situation but that I wanted to live alone and that my lease doesn't allow this space that I could surely share for a while I repeated that I'm not looking for a roommate and left to get back to work not long after Ally walked past looking very upset and got into a whispered argument with my supervisor before storming off ever since then several co-workers have started giving me the side eye and water cooler talk quickly turns into how we are a family culture here and how nice it is to work with caring people so am I the jerk for not taking in a coworker I don't really know when they might get fired soon to me I would love if you were kind enough to help out a cooworker in need but you have no obligation to this is one of those situations where I just don't think you could be the jerk for denying it it's just such a big thing to ask of somebody especially somebody that already is only living in a one-bedroom apartment our next story is from Rose 1914 would I be the jerk if I told my sister that her Trauma from reading my diary is not my responsibility I recently had a very sad conversation with my little sister I'm 22-year-old female and she's 18 when I was a younger teenager I struggled greatly with my mental health that was the low point of my life and I've since been in therapy for multiple years cut off an abusive family member and I've reached a very healthy and happy point my sister just told me that when she was around 10 and I was around 14 she was snooping in my things and read my diary she read lots of very intense and horrible things that I wrote she was very traumatized by reading these things and then proceeded to regularly secretly read that diary for over a year in order to keep tabs on me she never told anyone about this and never confronted me she is clearly deeply traumatized by this and I feel absolutely horrible that she had to deal with all of that by by herself it's especially frustrating for me because yes the things written in that diary were terrible but they were also an outlet for a very frustrated and struggling teenager writing was a way for me to express my big complicated feelings my anger Etc at the time so if she had never asked me about it or told an adult this could have been resolved instead she held on to this stress and Trauma for years I feel like what I wrote in my private diary was my business writing angry terrible rants made me feel better and helped me get through my very difficult emotions all the time I'm not proud of it and it's not how I would handle things today but I do feel like I should have been allowed to have my private coping mechanism and outlet for my emotions I understand that being a Snoopy 10-year-old is pretty normal but I also think I had an expectation of privacy that she violated which is why she was traumatized by something that was never meant for anyone else to see I made sure to validate the trauma and pain that this caused her I apologized multiple times for being the cause of such distress for her however I'm frustrated because I feel like she caused this herself she violated my privacy and then paid the price I absolutely realized how awful this was for her but I don't think this was my fault she talks about this as something that happened to her but I actively hid this diary and never wanted anyone to see it she's angry at me for having written those things but I don't want to apologize for writing out my emotions it's clearly a tragedy that she read it but to some degree I feel like she is responsible I would like to be available to her to help process the trauma and have apologized multiple times for being the cause of so much distress for her but I don't want to apologize for the fact that the diary existed at all would I be the jerk for telling her that while I'm truly sorry for the pain and Trauma she suffered this is not my fault and I didn't do anything wrong I would hope that we can all agree that Diaries are private things that are meant to stay private and contain private thoughts so for them to go around snooping and finding your diary that's already making them the jerk let alone them reading through it and triggering themselves off of stuff that really you're trying to only confide between you and the paper you written it down on there is nothing that happened in the story that op has to apologize for our next story is from throwa Bounder am I the jerk for telling my cousin to give her daughter her own bedroom I 25-year-old female have a cousin 34-year-old female Rose who's a smalltime influencer on Instagram she has over 10,000 followers for her fashion lifestyle and artistic posts where she usually poses in photo shoots this isn't her main source of income but a hobby she she does in her Spare Time 3 years ago Rose gave birth to my niece Daisy 3-year-old female who she adores and they currently co-s sleep in the same room Rose currently lives in a nice two-bedroom home where the second bedroom has been converted into her Instagram photo shoot room where she takes her pictures and stuff last week when I visited her home I asked her when Daisy would be moving into the second bedroom so that she could get her own space Rose laughed at me and said that these would sleep in her and her husband's room forever because the second bathroom is reserved for her Instagram room I told her that maybe this would pose to be an issue because as Daisy grows up she might need her own space to grow and might need a place for her own private thoughts Rose then told me that if she gave up her Instagram room then her influencer life would be over and said I should just mind my own business as Daisy is not my child she and her husband are currently trying for baby number two and I feel really bad for Daisy as she's going to have to be squished in a bed with her mom dad and a brand new baby but maybe I did overstep am I being one of those people who tell others how to raise their kids am I the jerk I don't think op's the jerk I could see how their cousin could try to frame it like op is you know how op needs to mine their business and whatnot but the fact of the matter is you have multiple bedrooms you have a kid and the second room is is reserved solely for your Instagram photos as a hobby yeah I think the kid's getting a little bit neglected this next story is from throw away seven am I the jerk for telling my brother-in-law what happened some time ago my middle son 6 told me that he really likes flowers he then asked me to buy him some I told my husband and now my son has a small collection he Treasures it a lot we gave my other two kids flowers the first time as well but they threw them away immediately or gave gave them to their brother anyways my sister and her family were over for dinner and her kids and mine ran off to play sometime later my eldest comes to me saying that my middle son is sad he was he wasn't crying yet but he was holding back tears I asked him what happened and he told me that his cousin went to his room and took his flowers when I asked him why his cousin would do that he told me that she just thought they were pretty and wanted them so she took them I went to find her so I could get the flowers back and found her with her mom with the flowers around her I explained to her what happened and my sister just stared at me in disbelief they're just flowers is what she said I told her that yeah they are but they belong to my son and he wants them back I told her that my son would definitely share if they just asked politely she rolled her eyes and said but they're literally just flowers what's a little boy doing with them anyway I told her that her saying that was a whole other issue but I just want the flowers back without causing a scene she told me that she'll give them back after her daughter is done playing with them so I went to her husband and told him what happened after my niece began bending the stems and he looked really embarrassed and immediately told me he was sorry he went to his daughter and got the flowers and gave them back to my son himself he then talked to my daughter who also apologized I thought that was it but my sister was fuming the whole time before leaving she began whispering for arguing with me calling me real mature for apparently snitching to her husband she said that I'd given them another reason to fight now and that she hopes I'm happy with my stupid flowers am I the jerk the flowers are fake by the way I think op is not the jerk here whether it's action figures or dolls or cards or Beyblades or whatever whatever your kid likes and you know owns those should be respected and cared for by other kids no nobody likes it when somebody rolls up and helps themselves to your favorite things without ever even mentioning it all I can say is it seems like op sister seems awfully entitled it would fit right in with the r/ entitled parent stories that I read our next story is from AIT PC throwaway am I the jerk for buying my own computer and not letting my brother use it I'm 15-year-old male so my brother 17-year-old male has a real job we both play video games but our family only has one computer I make my money from roblox's devx program and freelancing scripting on Roblox while he goes out to work the thing is though when he gets home from work he just wants to play games and relax and I can't use the computer for hours so I can't do my scripting or play games I would ask him to let me on just so I could exchange for money but he doesn't let me so I saved my money and bought my own computer the thing is the computer my family has isn't very nice I had enough money so I bought myself a nice enough gaming PC so that I could not only play and work but do it faster and more smoothly when my brother found out he was at first excited since and I quote finally I'll have something nicer to play on when I get home I told him that I bought this for me and only me he will not be using it he got mad and told me that he goes out to work and comes home exhausted from working a real job while I just stay home and make video games for children I told him that he can buy his own PC if it matters so much to him and since he has a real job he could do it so much easier than I could he isn't talking to me and I think this is ridiculous but I want an outside opinion am I the jerk here I think op is not the jerk here when you save up money to buy something for yourself for the first time that is such an exciting thing if you worked for that money and you saved saved up for it and you Splash your money down on something that's yours man you are totally in your complete right to not let anybody else mooch off it and our final story of the day is from throw R 29375 629 am I the jerk for Banning avocado from my house after my husband forgot I'm allergic for a second time for context we've been together 5 years I 28-year-old female am also pregnant with our first baby my husband 30-year-old male loves avocado which I get and have allowed in our house this whole time despite being allergic to it it won't kill me but I have oral allergy syndrome and the main culprit is avocado I get hives when I even eat avocado oil and sometimes when using any skin care products with avocado in them my husband walked into the bedroom tonight to give me a taste of the salad he just made he didn't actually give me a bite with avocado so I didn't think anything of it until my gum started burning I walked into the kitchen and saw the grocery receipt which said two hos avocados on it I asked him if he put avocado in the salad and he said oh yeah don't freak out I totally forgot I put avocado in there the first time was when he cooked tuna steaks with avocado oil and my entire arm broke out in hives I took two benad drill and I'm now waiting for my gums to stop feeling like hot fire but in the middle of yelling at him I told him no more freaking avocados in this house he can eat them at restaurants and literally everywhere else but if he can't keep it from me then they're banned he just said that he was sorry he forgot I feel like this is my only solution so am I the jerk if this is a situation where they really really like avocado it might be tough to actually Outlaw it from the house like I think you might just get some like sneakier sto storage or something like check the very back of the refrigerator behind everything else but I also don't think gop's the jerk for it because who enjoys suffering that avocado accident multiple times am I the jerk for kicking my husband's mom out after she threw out the dinner I cooked last night my husband's mom came over at 7:00 p.m. I just got done making dinner by the time she arrived to the house I welcomed and greeted her then went upstairs to take a shower my husband had to finish some work in his office and then sit with her in the living room 20 minutes later I got out of the shower and rushed into the kitchen I was so confused to see my pot not on the stove and another pot put in its place my husband's mom was sitting in the living room I approached her to ask about it and she said that the pot that I left cooking on the stove got burnt so she thought I must have forgotten to turn off the stove resulting in the food getting burned so she threw it out and made us dinner I was shocked I went and dug through the trash and as I'd expected the food was not burned in fact it still wasn't cooked the meat was still raw so apparently she threw it out for no reason I lost my ever loving crap on her because this isn't the first time not the second time but the third time she'd had done this now y'all telling me that this is a coincidence but I don't think so I yelled at her saying that she never should have touched my dinner that I spent time and effort making and then lie about why she threw it out just because she hates my cooking my husband got involved and told me to take it easy because his mom meant well I said no she didn't think told her to leave my house right there and then she argued then took her purse and left my husband blew up saying he couldn't believe I kicked his mom out for literally cooking us dinner I said that there was already dinner cooking but she threw it out and it wasn't even burned he called me unhinged then went upstairs and then had the whole dinner as mom cooked for himself I ended up eating yogurt and dates for dinner which was awful because I was starving my husband's upset because of me kicking her out and says that I punished her over a misunderstanding am I the jerk I think op's not the jerk here usually I think when you say don't mess with somebody's food you're usually referring to putting something in the food or spoiling it intentionally but I think it also applies to don't go and toss somebody else's food that they're currently cooking out let's say you had a relative or a friend over and you were cooking a meal for yourself and you stepped away they threw out your meal and started cooking something entirely different would you kick that friend and or relative out of your house just a hard argument just go along with it let me know what you would do in the comments down below our next story is from throwaway 468 692 am I the jerk for asking my daughter to leave I divorced my ex-wife 5 years ago together we have a daughter 14-year-old female and I have have full custody a few months ago my daughter started this new habit that whenever we have an argument she would yell at me tell me she hates me and would rather go and live with her mom she hates her mom so I know that she's only saying it to make me angry but it started to get very annoying so 3 days ago when we had an argument again and she said she doesn't want to live with me anymore and she'd rather live with her mom I told her to call her mom or someone else and tell them to take her because if this is really what she wants then I won't stop her she seemed surprised and apologized and said she doesn't want to go but I said she has to go a few minutes later my sister called me and said my daughter's asked to take her and asked me if I'd really kicked my daughter out I told her I did and asked her to come and take her she showed up at my home an hour later and took my daughter last night my daughter called me and apologized again and asked me if she can come home now I told her I love her but no this is what she wanted my sister called called me after that and called me a cruel jerk and said my daughter is crying because of me my original plan was to let her stay there for a week I thought it would be a good punishment for her but now I'm not so sure I remembered the sub and decided to ask for some judgment so am I the jerk no I'm not a parent and I'm not necessarily saying that I know best I would say op is a jerk right up until the daughter apologized for the second time at the sister's house and they said no to them coming back considering that was their second apology and they were already over there at their sister's house I feel like they sufficiently learned their lesson and I feel like it's just kind of grinding it into the dirt forcing them to stay there for even longer when they're already clearly upset and apologizing and realizing that you're not going to deal with their attempt at manipulation our next story is from powerful ad 297 am I the jerk for picking my daughter's career for her my daughter 17 year- old female has always been a smart girl she has a huge potential future available for her she has the ability to become one of the greatest data scientists ever it's an incredibly rewarding job for her especially since technology is the way to go for the future and the country we live in is expensive as a computer scientist myself I've always loved my job however she doesn't want to be one I've been influencing her since she was 10 she was initially excited but doesn't want to anymore she took two tech classes in grades 9 and 10 and she isn't taking one in 11th or 12th grade she said that she wants to be a psychologist and now wants to have a business major I don't think it's a right fit for her the former because she doesn't have the social skills needed to become a psychologist she's autistic heck she couldn't handle her brothers well how's she supposed to deal with adults with psychological issues the latter as well because it involves dealing with people that can be immature as well also she took a business course in grade 10 and she ended up not liking it so why would she take an entire University program yesterday we sat down and were looking at potential programs she picked a few from Bachelor of Commerce programs I tried pushing her to pick the Bachelor of Computer Science programs at the end she asked if I would support her no matter what she picks I laughed at her and told her not to give me a scare so it's a no then she asked I told her that she can take her highlighter highlight the programs she's interested in and we can discuss she said that I criticize every program that isn't Tech related I tried convincing her that the tech field is a very rewarding field and she's smart and capable and then she snapped she said that she doesn't care if it's a gold mine and she's capable enough to handle it she hates the computer techfield and I've been forcing her to do it for a long time she says it's her future not mine and not everyone wants to be a tech scientist she asked how I feel if my father tried to push me to the law field since it's a rewarding job despite me having no interest in social sciences then she stormed out at that point I realized that I may have pushed her too hard I just want her to have a bright future and no struggles but I guess I went about it the wrong way I think it's safe to say here that op is the jerk and I think they've got some blinders on as far as what the right thing is for their own kid I actually appreciate how much op wants a great future for their kid and while it may seem like a Surefire thing to go into the tech field it's not what they want to do you have one go around with things and even though they're 17 and still have a long time to really figure it out I say let them pursue what they're excited about especially if they can make a career out of it and not only let them but support them in it do you know how discouraging it is for them to straight up ask you can I share what I'm excited about or am interested in and to be essentially told pretty much no unless it's Tech related you're setting your daughter up to never want to open up to you ever by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos every video has awesome stories like our next story from Super pant man am I the jerk for refusing to sleep in Sailor Moon bed sheets background I'm I male 29 have been married to my wife female 28 for 5 years and we have a child together female to she does all the housework occasionally I might lend a hand but she cleans cooks and all those good things I frequently tell my wife I'm grateful for her hard work and she decorates the house as she sees fit mainly in pink and I don't have a say in this nor do I particularly care we have a lovely home which is in no way because of my input she takes Pride in our bed and often buys new bedding with various patterns or themes normally this bedding is pink which I don't particularly like but I wouldn't complain she recently bought Sailor Moon bedding I'm no hardcore anime person but isn't this anime for 13-year-old girls I'm to sleep in Bedding with these stupid princess pictures and rabbits and cats on it I feel like a line has to be drawn somewhere I asked her how she would feel if I bought Thomas the Tank Engine bedding but she said it isn't the same I got quite angry about it my dad would roll in his grave if he knew I was sleeping in little girl's bedding she put the bedding on anyway and I'm threatening to sleep downstairs until it's removed she's angry and says I'm being childish this next story is by jaded lunch 5357 am I the jerk for grounding my daughter my 38-year-old male daughter 16-year-old female lives with me fulltime I got married like last year to my now wife Sue 35-year-old female we dated for 5 years but she always clashed with my daughter Anna because of their personalities Anna is a good kid responsible kind and helps around but she's overall an introvert who doesn't like to be around people that much and enjoys her time alone in her room while Sue is the opposite she loves socializing doing stuff with the people she loves Etc she always invites Anna to help her cook and bake do some gardening Etc since they're both at home most of the time but Anna always says no Suz has ADHD Anna is always telling Sue off because she thinks she overwhelms her with her constant need to be around her because Suz tends to knock at her door too much she sometimes barges and she feels she forces her to spend time together because if an is in the living room the kitchen or the garden reading Su just sits next to her and starts to talk and then gets sad because she doesn't like to be around her we've attended family therapy and Anna is doing her solo sessions I've also talked to Sue that Anna's privacy and solo time should be respected but I don't think it's a good thing that Anna refuses any kind of contact with Sue and I don't think she's even trying at all Anna's explained to me that being around Sue ties her quicker than any other person because she knows my wife wishes she were more expressive and talkative and makes her uncomfortable yesterday I came home early and I overheard Anna yelling at Sue to get out of her room I went to see what was happening and Anna was pushing Suz out she said that Suz just knocked and let herself in like she always does while she was getting dressed sus was apologizing and saying that she forgot the rule but Anna said she's tired and that dealing with Suz is worse than dealing with a small kid this made Sue cry and I said that it wasn't nice of her and I grounded her with a week with no phone she's not talking to me right now and I wonder if it was wrong because she's never given me the cold shoulder I think op is the jerk here as somebody who is definitely an introvert and can relate to Anna the problem is here that Sue tires are out because of how often Sue is encroaching in their space I think Anna doesn't have any incentive to try and make things work because is just never enough time where Anna can be alone without being interrupted in some form whether it's knocking on the door sitting near them trying to engage in a conversation think of it as like literally like a battery that they have to recharge and Sue being somebody that's been so insistent on trying to engage them and being around them so often is like a appliance that charges really hard on the battery it's to the point where when Suz just knocks on the door or tries to talk to them it's like the battery just goes right back down to zero and it's got to build its way back up they just aren't given enough time to fully recharge that battery and so there's no incentive to be kind or to try to engage in anything because it just sucks for Anna let's not forget to mention that they walked in on them changing too and then they got grounded for a week for being upset by that our next story is from throwaway 82354 am I the jerk for stealing my brother's Spotlight by telling a girl I was gay I 20 straight male have a younger brother 18-year-old male we're pretty close and a few years ago he told me he's gay he hasn't told our parents because we were unsure of how they would react there's a girl Lisa 19-year-old female who lives down the road from us and she's had a thing for me for several years I didn't mind at first but since she finished school she's been giving me more and more attention she's very loud and giggly and obnoxious and I'm not interested she has a vegetable able garden and often comes to our house with whatever she's grown that week she somehow always seems to come around when I'm home alone we have a pool in her back Garden that she often comes around to use as well I haven't responded to any of her flirting but she also hasn't made any real move so I never rejected her properly until last week I got fed up and told her to back off and leave me alone she wouldn't really kept saying I just had to give her a chance and take her out and that I should see her and her new bikini I snapped and told her I'm gay to get her to back off that seemed to work but a couple of days later when my parents brother and I are all in the lounge together my mom says that we need to have a conversation she tells me that Lisa told her I was gay and that her and my dad fully support that they both said they were proud of me and gave me hugs I tried to say that I wasn't gay but they wouldn't listen Meanwhile my brother got upset and went to his room I went to check on him an hour or so later and he cried and yelled about how he should have been the one to have this chat with our parents and I had ruined his coming out am I the jerk I don't think op can be the jerk in this situation because they didn't intend for any of that to work out the way it did there was no malice no ill intent they were just trying to get somebody who could not get the memo to get off their back was it maybe a poorer Choice than just straight up saying that they're not interested in to leave them alone probably but I don't think that makes them the jerk our next story is from HH IL bcn am I the jerk for refusing to accept my niece's Mother's Day card I 24-year-old female am childree my entire family's fully aware of that my parents always wanted grandchildren and my sisters already popped out too so fortunately they never gave me much grief for my choice in fact they've been as supportive as they could be this incident happened months ago on Mother's day but the topic has recently com up again on Mother's Day lunch my 5-year-old niece gave cards to each female member of the family my sister her mom my sister-in-law my brother's wife her grandma and me my card had to the best Annie that's what she calls me ever happy Mother's Day obviously she didn't make the card herself and my sister had a hand in this I really think this was a jab to the fact that I don't have children so I politely refused the card saying that I'm not your mom and you can give me a card like that on my birthday she looked a bit upset like she was about to turn on the Waterworks but her mom said something to her and she shut up I felt a bit bad because it wasn't my niece's fault that her mom used a Mother's Day card as a weapon against my choices and was about to say something when the food arrived and she quickly cheered up my birthday was yesterday and my niece gave me a card saying happy birthday Annie I joked to my sister that this time it looks like a real heartfelt card in instead of a backhanded jib at me my sister pretended to look confused and then I reminded her about the Mother's Day card incident she got mad and said oh yeah the card you made my daughter cry over I'm sorry your niece loves you so much that she spent her time making a Mother's Day card for you I told her she wasn't fooling anyone and there was no need to give me a Mother's Day card it was also sexist to give Every Woman a Mother's Day card even women who weren't moms she told me that her daughter had done the same for all the male relatives on Father's day too but I think that's besides the point as all the men in my family are fathers already she also said that Mother's Day also applies to loving ants am I the jerk I think op is way too strung up on some like greater meaning thing whether or not it was motivated or spurred on by the mom just accept the kids's card they're a 5-year-old and they're wanting to give you a card and I assume get a nice reaction if anything just do it for the kid and then toss the card out later if it really bothers you that much or call out the mom privately if it bothers you that much this next story is from goth mom life am I the jerk for going after my sister-in-law after she broke a rule I'm 24-year-old female a new mom of a 3-month-old baby girl my husband 31-year-old male and I have rules that my family has to follow the big rule is no social media rule I believe in privacy for my daughter I don't want any photos of my daughter on social media especially when I didn't even post photos of her on social media don't get me wrong I've taken many photos of her but none are posted on social media 3 weeks ago I asked my sister-in-law 35y old female to babysit my daughter because my grandmother got sick and it landed her in the hospital and the next date over since there wasn't anyone under 2 years old allowed on the floor I couldn't take my daughter to see her after a few days I went on Facebook and saw my daughter's photo with the caption first Facebook photo of my niece is she adorable I saw red I called her and demanded that she delete the photo and how she'll never babysit my daughter ever again my husband and I went home I picked up my daughter and she told me how dumb it was for having that rule she told me how I don't love my daughter enough to post about her we argue and my husband took us home she made a huge post about how she isn't deleting the photo and how horrible I am as a mother lastly called me a jerk for yelling at her over a photo my in-laws are on her side and saying I overreacted now my husband's not speaking to his sister am I the jerk and overreacted this next story is from Majestic lavishness 36 am I the jerk for telling my sister that her just being a girlfriend and an actual wife are actually not the same thing my sister's been dating this guy Josh for around 7 years now with seemingly no intent to get married my sister is one of those people who believe marriage is a scam and doesn't desire it at all and is fine with just being a girlfriend with her boyfriend multiple times me and my parents have tried explaining to her how getting married is not just about wearing a wedding dress and all and that there's legal advantages and perks that she won't be able to have if she's unmarried she said there's solutions to that and marriage is not a wish neither for her nor Josh we are are deeply conservative and religious and take marriage seriously so when I had my wedding a few months ago I didn't invite Josh because he's not officially tied to my sister I told her she can have her views on marriage and I can have mine and if she wants me to respect her decisions and Views she has to respect mine too and I'm uncomfortable inviting couples who are neither engaged nor married to my wedding she held it against us for all these months only attended the ceremony and stay at the reception for half an hour at most and then left she was basically absent from my wedding anyway a couple of weeks ago she got into an accident and was hospitalized for a few days the hospital had a strict close relatives only policy and basically only my parents could visit my sister as first-degree relatives Josh couldn't see her and she was mad they wouldn't allow him she was out of the hospital soon after with no serious injuries but I used what happened as an opportunity to teach my sister why her being a little girlfriend is way different to being a wife and if her and Josh were actually married he wouldn't have to miss out on visiting her in the hospital so his lack of visitation is their fault my sister now believes I'm the jerk for using her accident to teach her a lesson but I don't believe I am since maybe this could be a wakeup call for the both of them I think op is a major jerk here frankly I don't see why they care so much why their sister does or does not want to get married and I think go can go toing that it's their religion and their views as to why they didn't invite Josh to the wedding but personally I kind of sense from the way op's writing this that there was probably some more Petty motivation going on there now admittedly I'm not all caught up on the ins and outs of Christianity but actually I've never heard the concept of not inviting a boyfriend or a girlfriend especially one of seven years and only inviting Partners who are married and or engaged I guess when Opie says that they're deeply conservative they are deeply conservative it's kind of funny that op says if she wants me to respect her decisions and Views she has to respect mine in regards to not inviting Josh to her wedding but then op at no point ever respects her decisions anyways how dare op sister not follow op's deeply religious views our next stories from spare room throw away am I the jerk for starting a house project without discussing it with my wife my wife Amy 27-year-old female and I 27-year-old male have a spare room in our home we've gone back and forth since we moved in two plus years ago about what we wanted to do with it but we never took the initiative to actually Implement any of these plans we already have a sufficient number of guest rooms and an office so the room just sits there unutilized I'm not that worried about it but my wife brings it up now and then these mentions are just of the unused room itself not anything concrete she actually wants to use it for I made a new friend Ben 30-year-old male about 8 months ago and it was very much one of those we connected from the first time we spoke to each other's situations I've actually never had that many close male friends so this connection is especially important to me the conversation flowed so easily we had loads in common I didn't didn't think such a huge amount of genuine love and respect for a person could be developed in less than a year but it's been very cool to experience that and get to know them one of the things that we bonded over was a similar love for art and music Ben is way way more talented than I am when it comes to painting but it's something we both enjoy his birthday is coming up soon and I thought on top of what else I was getting him I could turn the spare room into something similar to an art studio for both of us to use I already ordered a few things for it and was getting ready to jump into painting the walls when my wife came in and demanded to know what I was doing I explained that I was finally fixing up the spare room she said it was unacceptable that I had done this without confirming with her that it had been okay but I didn't think I would need to since it's been 2 years and the room has basically never been touched am I the jerk my only question is is whose name is on the house yes it went 2 years years without being touched but if you're going to finally do something with the room you want to run it by your partner who also I assume owns the house especially considering op said they went back and forth about what they wanted to do with it they just never got around to it our next story is from dry basil 9692 am I the jerk for telling my husband that I refuse to attend our family vacation if his mother attends my husband 32-year-old male and I 30-year-old female have been married for 6 years we have two daughters three and n months old my mother-in-law has always held a grudge against me for stealing my husband from her since he's the youngest and was always a mama's boy when my kids were born she held the same Grudge and refuses to touch my kids but when my husband's older sister proposed the idea for both my family and hers to go on a family vacation to Hawaii my mother-in-law gets very upset and says that we're leaving her out she's always been super supportive of my sister-in-law's husband and kids but my sister-in-law is very supportive of me and my children and she knew that I wouldn't want her mother there when my husband heard how distraught his mom was over not getting an invite he decided to take matters into his own hands and invite his mom without asking anyone I don't understand why he would want her to come if she was just going to continue to disrespect our family when he finally told us what he did I freak out and say that if he wants his mom there and he wants to invite his mom that's totally fine he just needs to understand that I will not attend nor bring my kids because I don't want our fun family vacation to turn toxic I gave him the ultimatum his mother or his wife and children he chose his mother and said that she raised him and she deserves to be invited so am I the jerk for telling my husband that me and my children would not be attending since his mother was going I think op is not the jerk and I think it's a very reasonable ultimatum it's not a vacation if if you're going to be stressed and not enjoying any moment of it might as well skip the drama that's inevitably going to happen cuz this mother-in-law can't control themselves and our final story of the days from lowbudget Chimp am I the jerk for not realizing that little people meant children okay this sounds stupid as heck but it's driving me nuts I recently got a job at a Climbing gym we have bouldering in ropes I got a call from a lady asking if it was appropriate for a group of little people now I assumed she meant you know people with dwarfism short statured people Etc it's not like we have a policy for that but I know people with some forms of dwarfism might have issues with their bones or joints or whatever so I tell her it should be okay but all climbing is at your own risk so if they have any medical issues they should ask their doctor well the day of their booking comes around and it turns out the little people are actually like a dozen small children this was a freaking disaster because there is a strict two kids per one adult ratio for kids in the gym and also kids aren't allowed to Bay until they've been assessed so we pretty much had to tell them that they couldn't come inside the lady goes off on me for ruining their weekend and I have to get my manager to bail me out after which he laughs his butt off but also calls me an idiot for not understanding that she was talking about kids who the freak refers to children as little people was I really supposed to anticipate that This Woman's use of an extremely specific term actually referred to another group of people entirely help me out here Reddit am I the jerk SL idiot op I think you're not the jerk and I think you're not the idiot I would think the same thing I would imagine when you say little people especially a group of little people I would imagine you're talking about exactly what op thought people with dwarfism or some other kind kind of short statured condition now I have heard the term little people be referred to children but it was like on like some signage or something like a cutesy thing that you would be able to identify with your eyes it's just a very very informal term that you can't just ask somebody and rely that they understand what you mean am I the jerk for flipping out of my fiance for canceling all the vegan food options from our wedding food menu behind my back my fiance 31-year-old male and I 25-year-old female are getting married soon there wasn't that much disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food me and my family are vegans and there's so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle and one of them being that we have a history of health issues my fiance and his family are the complete opposite they're hardcore meat eaters which is fine by me obviously however when deciding on the wedding food menu I wanted to add four to five vegan options my fiance and his mom objected saying it was a waste of money over food that isn't real food they also argued that this would be offensive for their guests and suggested my vegan options just be the good old salad and appetizers his mom wanted cupcakes I said no because for one it's me and my family who's paying and two I want to make my guest feel welcome and not be treated as second class citizens by being served salad my fiance made a face and said is isn't that what vegans eat I refused to argue about it and said it was Final the other day I found out that he had canceled all the vegan options and took them off the menu completely and behind my back I was seething I called him at work but he kept hanging up on me I went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him he was stunned to see me he at first said it was his mom's idea then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office the fight continued at home home and he defended himself by saying that I sort of made him resort to doing this after I kept brushing off his thoughts and input and refusing to accommodate for his family but there were plenty of meat options why can't I get four to five vegan options when I'm paying for it he yelled that it was his wedding too not my family's my family said it was fine and they'll figure it out and told me to let it go but I refused am I the jerk for putting my foot down on this I think it's safe to say that op is not the jerk here I mean let alone the fact that they went behind their back it's just what's the actual issue with having vegan meals I just can't fathom why it's so stigmatized for any of you guys that are watching that aren't vegan or vegetarian if you went to a wedding or an event and you found out they served only vegan options would that bother you in any way I'd like to know what you guys think down in the comments below our next story is from practical Grand 6104 am I the jerk for telling my wife it's ridiculous to cry over soup my wife is 4 months pregnant with our fifth child we have a 7-year-old girl a 6-year-old girl a 4-year-old boy and a 2-year-old boy now since Child Care is so expensive she's been staying home money's tight right now and her car broke down so we've been relying on mine she texted me and told me that she was craving a particular can of soup so I bought it and brought it home she placed it on the counter and said she would make it after she gave the kids a bath while she was upstairs my dad came over and mentioned he was hungry so I told him to help himself to anything in the kitchen as we had made dinner shortly before well he ended up leaving to go home and my wife came downstairs then I heard her frantically searching for something I asked what she was doing and she was looking for the soup she left out I told her I haven't seen it and that my dad came over but he doesn't usually eat canned foods I called him and he admitted that he did in fact take it and that he was sorry because he was unaware she was saving it when I told her this she started sobbing in and saying she can never have one thing in this house and how bad she was craving it and wanting it so bad she cried for almost an hour over it later I told her she was being ridiculous and that she was an adult and crying over something as stupid as a can of soup was for children she told me I didn't understand and she's feeling very emotional lately and stressed I talked to my mom who told me I needed to give her grace and that my words were very aish am I the jerk I knew we were already heading down a really bad path when the story opened with my wife is 4 months pregnant I'm of the opinion that if you're deeply pregnant and you're craving some type of food and you experienc the tragic death of that food when it was nearly in your grasp you can cry over it pregnancy is a stressful and emotional thing and I don't blame anybody that's undergoing it crying over a can of soup honestly from what I've heard it sounds kind of par for the course the only thing surprising me here is they have a 7-year-old a 6-year-old a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old and op hasn't learned by now this next story is from extension charge 9781 am I the jerk for yelling at my girlfriend for baking a dessert for a dinner party I 26-year-old male have been dating my girlfriend Rosie 23y old female for a year now Rosie and my mother do not get along it's just about the fact that their personality differences are so large my mom's a more conservative and reserved person and Rosie's the opposite of that my mom's really picky person and has never been happy with anyone I date over the years but I usually ignore her because it's not her life yes I always shut down my mother's snarky comments about anyone I date onto the problem tomorrow night my mother's hosting a dinner party for everyone in our family I'm not sure about the other families and cultures but usually when we throw dinner parties everyone will bring something I thought this was the perfect time for Rosie and my mom to get along better I told Rosie that she should hom make something I also made something my mother hates anything sweet so I told Rosie to refrain from baking any desserts Rosie said that she wanted to bake something because it's what she does best when it comes to the kitchen I told her to look up a recipe on Google she was quiet and about an hour later I come downstairs because I could smell something sweet and I found Rosie piping macaron batter I freaked out I started yelling about how I told her specifically not to make anything sweet because this was her one chance to get on my mother's good side and I feel like she only made the dessert to be Petty she got upset and told me not to raise my voice at her and that she wasn't doing it to be Petty she just doesn't care what my mother thinks of her and that my mother's not the only guest at the dinner party I got frustrated and made the mistake of telling her to stay home instead and she told me that she would and that she now wouldn't go no matter what even if I changed my mind I regret telling her that because if she doesn't go my mother will really not like her but am I the jerk for telling her not to bake something sweet now I don't think op is the jerk for saying hey you shouldn't bake something sweet but if they really want to and they frankly don't care what op's mom thinks well they might have a disagreement as far as what Opie thinks they should do but it's not worth a blow up and an argument and a direct attack like well maybe you should just stay home then it's clearly not op's intent and ative but in an indirect way it's kind of like op is playing mama boy trying to get their partner to walk on eggshells when going to a party our next story is from throw away 72828 29292 am I the jerk for getting matching tattoos of my best friend after his girlfriend told me it made her uncomfortable so basically I 19-year-old female have been best friends with Devon 20-year-old male since we were teenagers around 13 or 14 years old we've been extremely close since then and his friendship means more to me than any other relationship in my life when we were around 16 he casually said hey maybe we should get matching tattoos to remind us that we're always there for each other and I said it sounded cool and it wasn't really mentioned again we were miners so it wasn't exactly plausible but recently we passed a tattoo place and I joked remember when we were younger and we wanted to get matching tattoos which led to a discussion leading up to us deciding that we wanted to do it for real we took a few days to decide on the design my friend's a graphic designer so she made it for us but it's basically a light bulb shaped like a heart with the words I'll be your light love you always sort of woven through the image the light bulb thing is an inside thing between us and we always say love you or I love you so it wasn't anything off-putting and then the day before the appointment was scheduled Devon's girlfriend Bianca came up to me hysterically saying that we couldn't go through with the tattoos I'm assuming Devon must have told her she didn't really give me any room to speak but she talked a lot about how uncomfortable the idea made her they'd been in an extremely serious relationship for a while and he was starting to consider proposal but I told her that I was still getting the tattoo as Devon had been an important part of my life for years and meant a lot to me and the tattoo was our idea together not just mine obviously we went through with it and it felt really nice for a while until Bianca called me and started freaking out apparently I'm a horrible person and the tattoo was too romantic even though it was not we're just extremely close friends I'm sure she has friends she would say I love you to it's not a big deal but now she's saying she wants it to be removed and I really don't know what to do because on one hand I don't want to be responsible for ruining Devon's relationship and possible marriage but on the other hand I don't want to get rid of the tattoo this is a really weird situation honestly and I can only go from how I would personally feel and I would say personally both sides are the jerks here for op to say oh this heart-shaped light bulb that says I'll be your light love you always is not romantic at all I just wouldn't be able to have those words said to my face and take it seriously intent or not that is a very romantic looking tattoo that's the kind of we've been married for 10 years and we're doubling down on the commitment type tattoo on the other side Devon might be a bit of a jerk for getting that tattoo when it clearly upsets their partner so much and their partner is also kind of a jerk for outright going and just demanding that you get it removed I don't know what to think here honestly it's all kinds of mixed up and weird Vibes what do you guys think is op the jerk here is everybody The Jerk I'd like to know what you guys think because this could be really touchy depending on what angle you come from this next story is from ta IOP am I the jerk for having an operation in the same week as my work colleague's wedding causing my manager to cancel her time off I'm in my late 20s and work in a large retail chain I have a work colleague Candace 22 to 23y old female who's planning on getting married later this month originally she was planning the wedding for 2020 however due to lockdowns Etc it had to be postponed to 2022 she's booked 2 weeks off for her wedding and for her honeymoon nearly 2 years in advance and everything is paid for me and Candace work in the same store section white goods now I had bad eyesight as long as I can remember myself and was finally able to save for an operation upon the checkup the doctor said the operation must happen sooner rather than later they explain that they can see a small rupture in one of my eyes and they're worried that if I fall down or hit my head or due to stress it'll become worse and they won't be able to fix it which would make me unel for an operation due to this the operation was scheduled for the time of Candace's wedding when I've told my boss that I'll need 2 weeks off for the same week they declined my request saying it's too short notice and Candice already booked it off so us two can't be off at the same time I had to go through the doctor to have a note stating I'll be having an operation and due to recovery will not be able to work for those 2 weeks and legally it is not something my boss can decline because of this and since Candace's wedding is more than 2 weeks away way he canceled her holiday request she can't get any refunds at such short notice and she said she'll take unpaid leave in this case however our boss said he won't be granting her any leave as we're underst staffed someone started their maternity leave recently and if she won't show up then they'll treat it as an unauthorized absence which will lead to dismissal during our shift Candace had to go at me and called me a massive jerk for scheduling the operation during her wedding and getting signed off making her even more stressed before the wedding some other colleagues believe I'm in the wrong too and should have chosen different dates am I the jerk this next story is from throw ra economy 550 am I the jerk for returning home after I found out that my husband booked first class for him and his friend while I got economy my husband and I 30s haven't been on a trip out of country for years while he goes every year with his best friend his reasons for going with him is because they both go to attend sporting events this year my husband told me I could go with him and his friend since they were visiting a new destination he paid for my ticket and everything else since I'm a stay-at-home mom and have no job the kids were left with my mom however when I found out that he had booked first class for himself and his friend while I got economy I just couldn't hold my tongue I confronted him about it and he at first refused to discuss then when the argument got heated he yelled I paid for your ticket for freak's sake isn't that enough then kept on about how I should stop acting like I was royalty and that if I come to think about it even econom is fine for me since I technically don't work anyway I cried because of what he said but decided to just not go all together he changed his tone and started begging me to just go with what he planned but I declined I went to pick the kids up for my mom's house and he came back 3 hours later huffing and buffing about what happened his friend sent me a text calling me entitled and said this was the reason why he didn't want my husband to take me with them and I just proved his point I didn't respond but I blocked him since he's gotten increasingly rude over the past few months he my husband said I kept crying about being excluded and this is what happens when he finally decides to include me am I the jerk for not settling for economy by the way he's perfectly capable of financing the trip how can you even call it being included if you don't even sit together in the plane and let me guess when they get there he and his friend are going to take the hotel room room and she's going to get the Motel 6 back down the road ways right I don't know if it's too far of me but I would start questioning if there's something more going on between those two friends especially considering the friends Behavior afterwards where they keep texting you and calling you entitled it just seems overly defensive and something that might be motivated by other reasons our next story is from shift dry 9280 am I the jerk for cutting my portion sizes in half at the dinner table after being served heaping portions by my mom growing up my family and I were all fat they never taught me about good nutrition portion sizes and the only exercise I got was gym class so of course I was used to all this right especially since a lot of my friends were the same when I went to college I was exposed to a lot of new things and I learned quickly that my family's habits weren't healthy for years they always said the weight was genetic when I'd go to lunch with my friend group at the dining hall I I started noticing that my portion sizes were huge against theirs I cut down my portions and I would join them doing yoga and stuff naturally I ended up losing some weight like size 22 to tight size 12 I really like the way I look you can see my collar bones but I ended up having to go back home during summer break and I have been surprised at just how different I feel for my family when we would order pizzas 2 years ago we would basically get our own and it would be gone that night we had pizza night when I got home and I ate two slices and that was it last week my mom made her special lasagna I made a size salad to go with it she always plates the meals and then sets a big dish in the middle so we can have more well the piece she gave me was way too big so I cut it in half and served myself more salad my sister immediately got on my case about how rude that was to mom because she worked so hard on the lasagna I said I couldn't eat that much food in one sitting and she scoffed and said that didn't used to be a problem I said yes but if you can't tell things have changed a little she got on my face and said that I brought my college BS home with me and I should have left it at the door and ate like a normal person I told her that I was eating like a normal person that everyone I knew at school eats like this and that we're the abnormality that it's not normal to be so stuff to the table you're in pain my brother chimed in saying that I'd just gained the weight back so stop pretending that better than they are but I don't think I am at all I'm no better than anyone but I also don't think I'm wrong for sticking to smaller portions instead of being stuffed all the time am I the jerk well no wonder everybody in that family's overweight if somebody actually tries to be healthy they pass their insecurities on to them and basically make it such a negative thing to even bring a health focused attitude into that household I would hate to hear what that family has to say when you ask them about vegans or vegetarians their entire existence is probably a huge joke to those kinds of people our next story is from otherwise job 8545 am I the jerk for telling my ex-husband I won't babysit my daughter my ex-husband and I divorced about 4 years ago I've taken a couple of vacations with the kids since the divorce he went on one trip with them which was canel after one day due to a hurricane he makes a lot of snide remarks about how much I pay for the vacations but I live a pretty rugal life and my kids are my Splurge we have 50/50 custody and neither of us pay child support my ex has family in Texas they live on a lake with an inground pool in a boat they're close with him he has a standing invite the trip would cost my ex a flight probably one or two meals out my ex seems to be buying a new truck bought a onewheel joined a golf club and make solid money I don't think he's hurting and I don't begrudge him any of it I just wish he'd take my two kids on the vacation they desperately want with him but I respect that he has every right to spend his money how he wants to here's where it gets weird Monday he asked me what I'm doing for Labor Day which according to our divorce agreement is his holiday with the kids I don't have plans so he asked if I could babysit I roll my daughter so he can take my son to Texas I asked why he wasn't going to take my daughter and he said the trip is my son's birthday present and if my daughter asks to go to Texas for her birthday day he'll take her alone my kids are close and if asked I know my son wouldn't want to go without his sister I told him I didn't want to put the kids in that position and he should ask his girlfriend lives with them been together four years stays with the kids when he travels for work to just stay at home with her but apparently she's going on the trip too I told him it was playing favorites and I wouldn't enable it and he blew up on me we have a history of him being abusive so I know I can be very quick quick to jump to conclusions and get protective of my kids I know this would hurt my daughter but maybe I'm overreacting he called me controlling and I'm trying to decide if he has any basis for that statement note if he books the trip without her I will 100% watch her and he knows it I think Opie is not the jerk here I have never been a parent but I feel like if you have two kids especially two kids that are very close both in age and relationship taking only one of them definitely gives a favoritism feel whether you like it or not and frankly I think it's weird to just take one kid I know it's their birthday but why would you not want to give both of your kids that experience what motivation or reasoning do they have to leave one kid home they just don't want to take care of two kids favoritism you be the judge our next story is from I'm a 35-year-old white man am I the jerk for saying it's disgusting to shower twice a week for context my boyfriend's sister was complaining exping to me that her boyfriend has stinky skin you know where we're quite close and I never repeat this stuff to her brother and I asked her if he cleans under it when he showers to which she said yes and then I asked her how many times he showers to which he said twice a week personally I shower once a day maybe I'll miss the occasional day in a week if I'm really tired but it's usually only a day to this I said oh that's disgusting twice a week is nowhere near enough and then she got super offended and hurt because she also only showers twice a week because she wants to preserve the natural oils on her skin I tried to backtrack to keep the piece but she knows it's BS and now she won't talk to me she's been off with me for a few days and I can't even discuss why with my boyfriend because how am I supposed to tell him his beloved sister has a boyfriend with a stinky you know what am I the jerk for this I'm not sure if I should apologize to her and all honesty she doesn't smell but I still think the twice a week rule is ridiculous because you still get that buildup of sweat and dirt and I don't think washing twice a week is sustainable to keep it off I think op's reaction does make them the jerk here it's something that I think they should go to her and apologize and say all their life they did it a certain way and they had a misconception about if it's really enough and they apologize for upsetting them the bottom line is it depends really on the person how much you can shower and stay properly clean honestly the boyfriend probably could shower twice a week and still stay clean if they did some additional hygiene practices for some you could say hot zones I mean the bottom line is it clearly works for her at least and nobody likes to feel like they're judged like that so I think it's at least worth an apology our next story is from angry and tired 11 am I the jerk for kicking strangers out of my mom's hospice room at 1:00 a.m. my mother's currently in hospice I flew across the country to be with her till the end I have an older sister that lives with my mother when I got here my sister said that she had a friend that would like to visit my mom but didn't have transportation my mom said she wanted to see him so I drove 30 minutes an hour and 10 minutes round trip to get this man and bring him back when I got there I found out that his husband was also coming both these men Were Strangers to me but I did it so he could see my mom one last time the plan we agreed on was I would take them home at 8:00 p.m. because had to pick up our other sister from the airport and they were on the way when the time came to leave the man and his husband had some sort of emotional meltdown and didn't want to leave my mother I told them that I didn't have time to deal with their drama because I had to get to the airport so I just left when I made it back to the hospice with my other sister it was 1:00 a.m. the two of us walked in and there were now four people and our oldest sister in the room our mom was sleeping but they were laughing joking in and watching a loud video on someone's phone I asked who the new people were and a woman said she and her boyfriend were here as emotional support for my mom's friend they just showed up to surprise him what the freak it's 1:00 a.m. and these people didn't know my mother or our family my mother's never liked many men around her so there was no way she would be okay with three strangers watching her on her deathbed my oldest sister didn't see anything wrong with them being here I was so Furious because that was just the most disrespectful thing I had ever seen they were not family nor were they here to support our family I was so Furious that I told everyone to shut up and leave I was so enraged and I don't remember exactly what I said but it was not nice my oldest sister went out in the lobby sobbing and made a huge commotion she went on a rant about how our mom loved this friend and how she saved him from a bad situation we all almost got kicked out of hospice for disturbing the other patient thankfully the staff agreed with me and allowed myself and the sister I just picked up to stay everyone else had to leave I received a text shortly after telling me how awful I was for kicking them out my oldest sister also said I was in the wrong because her mother wanted an Irish wake we're not Irish and she's not dead yet you don't let strangers have a party in her hospice room at 1:00 a.m. so am I the jerk the bottom line here I think is op was looking out for their mom and solely their mom so I don't think they can be the jerk here as much as everybody else would try to make op the bad guy for kicking them out frankly all of these people that have to be kicked out probably aren't going to be thinking of op nicely anyways our next story is from aita bridesmaid drama am I the jerk for kicking the bridesmaid off my destination wedding the day before the event this happened a while ago but the person involved reached out for an apology for me yet I don't believe I did anything wrong short background I have a best friend Nia who's black and comes from one of the least developed countries in central Africa I've known and loved her for many years so when planning my wedding I didn't have any doubts that she'll be my maid of honor I invited another girl Jane who I knew for not that long but we were quite close to be one of my bridesmaids due to all my friends living in different countries Nia and Jane only met for the first time the day before my wedding which they both traveled to attend this night before before the wedding we had a lovely time with the girls but then Jane started to ask Nia really strange questions like do they really eat insects and live in Huts which was yes strange but also can be seen as a curiosity of another country but as the evening progressed Jane's Behavior did as well Jane ended up telling Nia a story about some beger she had seen referring to him by the nword that's when I decided to intervene got Jane in private and asked what in the world thought she could talk like this let alone to Nia she became defensive and quoted Nia is not the nword she's so pretty and clean I was talking about that guy after telling her off and explaining what kind of racist butt she is in much Ruder form I asked her to leave and to not show up at my wedding as well as never talk to me again last night she reached out expecting the apology and a payback for the flight she took for my wedding which I really doubt I should do as I'm still very angry with her I don't want to discuss it with my friends so please rdit tell me if I'm the jerk op's not the jerk op saved every single person that had to associate with them some serious time if op at their wedding ever has a thought of Jane come across their mind that should only serve to make them laugh and enjoy the night even more because they're not there and our final story of the day is from ta drink drama am I the jerk for making my son walk home after he was in in the hospital I'm female my son Jay 19-year-old male is staying home from college I know my son goes to parties drinks like someone innocent his age so every time he goes out I ask him not to overdo it and not to derive if he drinks he usually does what I ask Saturday there was a graduation party at a college in my town and he got an invite to the party since I knew he was going to drink I confiscated his keys and he took the Uber to the party always giving him the same warning not to overdo it around 6:00 a.m. I didn't pay attention to the time because it's very common for him to sleep unannounced at friend's houses I got a call saying that Jay was hospitalized and I went into despair speeding to the hospital by car when I arrived they informed me that he had an alcoholic coma and luckily there was no sequel I preferred not to scold him but I admit I was frustrated and disappointed by his inconsequentiality so after he was discharged from the hospital I asked him if he could walk he said yes and asked the doctor if there was any problem with him walking he said he just has to go a little slow we left the hospital and I told him he would have to walk home 2 km away because if he was old enough to go into an alcoholic coma he's able to get home by himself and I left him there it wasn't dark but I could hear him complaining and saying it was unfair he arrived 40 minutes later laining to the walls about how cruel I was in making him walk after he was in the hospital and that he can't ask for an Uber because he' lost his cell phone he was with his friend my husband not his father the father agrees with me said that I was pretty hard on him and that maybe it wasn't the best way to deal with it am I the jerk my son's fully capable of walking 2 km he's already walked six to kiss a girl I think Opie is pretty clearly The Jerk here I fully understand wanting to have some kind of reprimand for your kid being so reckless but honestly I'm of the opinion that this is the one situation where you need to put that aside and just show them that you're fully there to support them and help them I fully subscribe to the belief that parents should do the free pass method where you basically sit your kid down and say listen I know you're probably going to get in trouble if there's a situation where things are going haywire you're in some deep stuff I don't care what contact me I'll get you no questions asked no trouble because the idea is them being scared enough to contact you in that situation is probably punishment enough and enough of a Learning lesson op Sun here ending up in the hospital like this I feel like that should serve as lesson enough I feel like the poor 19-year-old kid has experienced enough and forcing them to walk 2 kilm home on top of everything is just a bit ridiculous am I the jerk for making my boyfriend eat fast food for a week my boyfriend grew up in a house that that valued outdated gender Norms the women were always responsible for cooking and cleaning so he didn't learn how to do any of that for most of his life that is until he moved in with me after college he's been good about a few things he doesn't mind helping with the dishes or handling the laundry but the one thing I can't seem to get him to do is learn how to cook the only thing he can do is microwave frozen meals I've been trying to teach him the basics but it seems like it goes through one ear and just comes out the other he still can't turn on the oven or use the stove without help the toaster is too complicated for him to use he claims doesn't know how to boil eggs cook rice or even how to measure out ingredients using cups I just don't understand why you can't grasp this but is fine with other things here's the part where I may be a jerk I went on a Trip 2 weeks ago for work I'm in charge of buying groceries we have separate accounts and I realized how expensive his frozen meals actually are $3 to $4 for each I said screw it and bought the easiest ingredients I could find for a lot cheaper for him to cook on his own he doesn't like leftovers so me cooking ahead for him was out before I left I sat him down once again and gave him a very long lesson on using the oven toaster and stove as well as how to boil and scramble eggs toast a piece of toast boil rice and noodles and heat up pasta sauce I also taught him how to pan fry things like onions and other veggies and how to tell when they were ready and in case he doesn't want to cook both lunch and dinner I also bought things to make salads and fixings for sandwiches I come back a week later and he's angry he claims I practically left him to starve and how I know he has trouble cooking I retaliate saying that I showed him what to do and I get a whole range of excuses setting the oven and stove temp is too complicated he cut his finger chopping onions and couldn't chop any until his cut healed he only likes the salad kits so everything is balanced apparently he only ate sandwiches canned goods and fast food for a week he thinks I'm a major jerk for not telling him I'm not buying his frozen meals and leaving him alone to fend for himself on one hand I do think it was crappy of me not to tell him I didn't buy his meals and as someone who grew up in a home pretty much only boiled hot dogs and veggies and only properly learned how to cook after moving out I do feel for him but at the same time after a few months of not getting the simplest Concepts I'm left feeling partially justified in my actions so Reddit am I the jerk so I'm not going to pretend like I know how to cook I know very very little on how to actually cook I do know one thing though it is insanely easy to use the toaster how can you not use a toaster you literally have one job and that's just to watch it and stop it before it gets too cooked you can literally sit there for 3 minutes tops just popping it back up and restarting it until it's good enough would you guys agree with me when I say that this isn't a person who doesn't know how to cook that this is actually a person that refuses to put any effort in in anything whatsoever relating to cooking and that if you have to say that you can't even use a toaster that literally just exposes you for not even trying that this guy is just looking for an easy way to say nope can't do it sorry do it all for me let me know if you guys agree with me in the comments down below our next story is from your cats BF F am I the jerk for wanting to make my boyfriend homeless because of my lunch habits Alex male 30 and I female 33 got together in late 2019 and recently decided to move in together I asked for a trial run where we both kept our flats for a few months so no one loses their place if it doesn't work out he had issues with this but I held firm that it was for everyone's benefit and he eventually agreed we decided he would stay with me as my flat is bigger and closer to his work then after a few months we would look for a house I work at home and he's now close enough to his office to come back for lunch he initially assumed that we'd be eating lunch together each day because I'm home but I don't eat lunch and I don't take a break for it my preference is to take smaller breaks when I want them and eat a snack around 3:00 p.m. a piece of fruit and a bag of nuts is my go-to this has been an issue since he moved in he walked in while I was on calls 2 Days running and loudly comment about it being lunchtime in the UK I work for an international org I was Furious as it prompted an unnecessary and awkward conversation with my boss who was concerned I was risking burnout he agreed to knock going forward although my position is that during his lunch hour we don't really need to make time to see each other at all as he will be back for the day in 5 hours the issue is he then started insisting I need to eat breakfast and lunch even if he's not included for context I gained some weight when I started working from home and my current eating habits suit my schedule while keeping my weight where I wanted his claim is that I starve myself to log in as soon as I wake up and that I'm too obsessed with work to take breaks I've explained that my eating habits suit me and I don't want to change them but he uses me eating normally at the weekend as some kind of gotcha and won't accept what I'm saying he brings it up daily this is a problem but not the problem the problem is that this has been going on for nearly a month and it just isn't the life for me we sat down this evening to talk and I said that I'm not enjoying living together and that it's too much too soon so I would like for him to move back to his place this weekend turns out he didn't keep the flat he gave it up straight away and moved his stuff to his mom's his reasoning being he knew we would be fine dear reader we are not fine he says I need to put the effort in to work through this and compromise and that I'm too angry to talk and me being a workaholic is going to cost us the relationship so we'll calm down and talk about it another time my position is that him lying about his place is a deal breaker even if the rest wasn't my best friend just had a baby and my mom's on holiday so I have no one to tell me if I'm out of order Reddit am I the jerk I think op isn't the jerk in this situation and I think they kept each other's flats or at least were supposed to for this very exact reason what frustrates me is it seems like Alex just doesn't comprehend that what op is saying as far as him needing to move back to his flat isn't about compromising or making things work it's the fact that op knows it isn't going to work full stop I just hope for op's sake it doesn't get too messy by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily daily videos our next story is from available Ark am I the jerk for asking a mom in my group if she needed someone to talk to about her drinking a new woman joined my mom group about 2 months ago Sherry At first she seemed great nice funny smart has three young kids who are awesome we like having you around except me and Lauren noticed something every single time we would get together Sherry would try to make it into a wine night hang out to let the kids play at the playground in the evening she'll bring the wine hanging out after school sign up day Wine Time kids birthday party comes around well she's got the beverages including the wine every single time we hang out she has to have a glass in her hand the glass turns into a bottle the issue is that she does not seem like she's had an entire bottle of wine so about 2 weeks ago we all planned on getting the kids together and going to a great water park obviously water plus alcohol is a dangerous combo especially with kids so when Sherry pulled out a pint of titos and waved it around telling everyone she had a little treat for the moms I felt like I had to say something I said oh I don't think it's a good idea for us to mix alcohol at a waterp park like that especially with the kids around she said it would be fine she does it all the time at this I was kind of more alarmed so when it was just the two of us I said Sherry are you okay do you maybe need to talk to someone about your drinking she looked shocked and said no and then acted like I was absolutely crazy she said she had no idea where I got that idea that her drinking was absolutely normal and that where she's from Atlanta It's Perfectly Normal for people to drink at Social gatherings I said okay and that I was just concerned because I've never hung out with her when she hasn't been drinking she got defensive and told me that she didn't like people up her butt monitoring her after that point her mood was soured for the day Lauren told me that it was a good thing that I said something but two of the other moms said that it was going to cause a huge issue and that now sher's talking crap about me being a busy body I was not trying to shame her but I know how being a stay-at-home mom can turn people into addicts real fast and I didn't want to see her end up that way am I the jerk I don't think Opie's The Jerk because they had good intentions about it although it was probably presented in a poor way I think it would have been maybe better for op to have asked about how it seems like every week there has to be like a drinking element to it and then maybe hoping it kind of branches into a more open discussion but apparently also getting like defensive about these kinds of questions is actually kind of an aspect that appears a lot in people who do have alcoholic Tendencies so really I'm not sure I think being a wine mom or drinking wine all the time kind of has gotten a little too normalized but I don't think op's the jerk here for what they did this next story is from bday gift AIT am I the jerk for being upset at my husband for what he got me for my birthday my 39th birthday was last week months ago I was talking with my mom about a part of our state that I love to visit and she mentioned that she is never been there I told her we should go together sometime and we started planning it we ended up deciding on going there for my birthday during the planning we realized that my mom my brother and I had never been on a trip together just the three of us so we invited my brother too my husband was fully supportive of us taking this trip and would be staying home with our three-year-old son and our dog before we left last week my husband gave me the gifts he bought me for my birthday he got me some comfy pajamas a sun hat and some good wine and cheese to bring with on the trip normally I would be totally okay with that gift and as we don't really splurge on birthday gifts anymore but he'd been talking about getting me a smartwatch and a new luggage for my trip ever since we started planning it he knows I can be kind of picky about gifts as I've exchanged some of the gifts he's gotten me in the past for different colors or options but this time I told him to just pick something out for me as I want those things for the trip he offered instead to go shopping with me so that I could pick out exactly what I want because if I take them on the trip and don't like them it's not likely I could return or exchange them I thought that was a good idea but life got busy and before I knew it it was the week of our trip and we hadn't had a chance to actually go shopping together so the time comes for us to leave and part of me was expecting my husband to surprise me with a new watch or weekend bag but he didn't I admit I was pretty disappointed that he didn't get me the watch and bag like he said he would he told me that he thought we had agreed to do it together but I told him he knew how busy we were and it wouldn't have been much effort for him to just do it on his own he got offended and told me that I just spent thousands of dollars on a nice relaxing trip with my family while he stayed home and took care of everything and I'm complaining about a watch and a bag I told him that he knew how much I was looking forward to having those items for my trip and I'm just disappointed that he didn't realize that and take the opportunity to do something special for me he apologized for ruining my trip but I know it wasn't sincere and he's just telling me what he thinks I want to hear I offered to go shopping with him sometime to pick them out and he told me to just go do it myself now I feel like crap and I know he's mad at me for being ungrateful for the things he did get me and for allowing me the opportunity to have a trip like that with my family I think op is the jerk because frankly this is a situation where they had pretty much settled on going together to get exactly what it was op wanted things came up and their partner clearly didn't feel comfortable enough going out there and just getting it anyways at that point and you blow up on them for really what is a really what could be seen as a lose lose situation if they go out and they buy something on their own accord and it ends up not being exactly the ideal setup for you or whatever you wanted then frankly that sucks but then also they're going to get reamed for not going out and doing that I think it's a tense situation that op should just frankly apologize for this next story is from dear account 5349 am I the jerk for saying my stepdaughter is not entitled to my late ex-wife or daughter's money I'm married to Ashley our girls from previous relationships are both 17 my ex-wife was Sam she and I were never a great couple but we were great friends and great parents SL co-parents so we stayed very close after the divorce I was aware that she had started saving for our daughter's future education we had reached somewhat of a compromise on how to handle that I did most of the spending on her adolescent activities and Extras so all her extracurricular activities hobbies and for the most part gifts that we shared while she saved for the future in an effective way I never knew how much was in that account until 2 years ago when my ex died it was then that I learned she saved a hefty amount and that aside for allowing for her funeral expenses she had left money for our daughter to use as she saw fit outside of the college money Ashley and I married 7 years ago and at the same time we had discussed money for the girls Etc I explained that I wasn't saving but my ex-wife was she hadn't started saving anything for her daughter at that point and her ex was not saving either so we started to put a little by when we could but we were never able to save huge chunks at a time after Sam died money became a much larger issue Ashley was upset to learn my daughter had a considerable amount more than my stepdaughter for college and that she had money to spare it only became a bigger deal this past may my daughter told me she had decided to do community college in her mom's Hometown so she could be close to her grandparents for a while and could still follow her dreams Ashley then brought up how some of that money could go to my stepdaughter I told her no that it wasn't our money and even if she tried to suggest that it would be mine seeing as my daughter is a minor I pointed out that it would be stealing to just take it from her and I'd never contributed to that fund directly it would be taking my ex-wife's money Ashley went off about Sam putting so much away when she knew our daughter had a steps sister and how she was selfish to make her so much better off than her only sibling I told her she needed to get over that because Sam only had one child to think about and it wasn't her job to think about my stepdaughter or even any bio kids I could have after our divorce Ashley told me to to think about my stepdaughter I told her my stepdaughter is not entitled to my daughter's money or my ex-wife's money whichever way she wanted to look at it she asked how I could be so callous about her daughter's disadvantage am I the jerk I think op is definitely not the jerk here and surprisingly I feel like a lot of people in this situation at least those that would end up on r/ am I the jerk would be the kind that want to pull the money from their daughter I think it's honestly great and refreshing to see somebody like op who can contextualize where that money came from who it belongs to and who has a right to it which is only op's daughter this next story is from mcneel 1345 am I the jerk for buying a fire blanket for our new house hi all' my partner 29-year-old female and I 27-year-old male have recently bought a house together and will be moving in in 2 weeks as this is the biggest purchase of Our Lives I want to make sure we're well protected in case of emergency so I've been looking online for safety devices I found a fire blanket for 9 British pound so I decided to buy it with my own money as it's better to have and not need than need and not have the fire blanket arrived the following day and for some reason this was a huge issue for my girlfriend and started a really unnecessary argument she was questioning why I bought it how I could prioritize a fire blanket over other items Furniture washing machine TV Etc what my logic was behind buying it and how we don't need a fire blanket as none of her family and friends have one she also said this was a huge red flag from her side as it shows I have questionable logic and decisionmaking and she's worried I may do something even more stupid in the future from my side I was only thinking about our safety it can easily be taken with us when we move I used my money to pay for it and it's just a good item to have in case of a panire in addition I've been looking at the bigger items but there's still people living at the property we're moving to so we can't exactly buy things like Furniture until they've moved out I honestly don't see the big deal as it's just a fire blanket but the argument resurfaced this morning and she said her family and friends agree with her and think I'm an idiot for buying it I've been molding this over in my mind trying to think what could possibly be so controversial about a fire blanket but I'm coming up empty each time so credit I've come to you to try and get some perspective and objectivity am I the jerk I'm of the opinion that nobody can be an idiot or a jerk for buying something in the best interest of safety especially when you only pay £9 for it that's about $ Us by the way for the ease of mind it gives you for knowing that if you ever have a grease fire going on you have something to battle it with what's the issue with it I would say not only that you should get a fire extinguisher what's next is op and idiot for buying new batteries for the smoke alarm too maybe it wouldn't be wise to spend that money on that carbon monoxide monitor if anything for op's sake I would take this as a red flag to keep in the back of your mind obviously op cares about their safety so they should probably consider the safety of their future with this person our next story is from dat of two throwaway am I the jerk for taking my wife's side after she screamed and cursed at my mother I 33-year-old male am married to my wonderful wife Melody 29-year-old female and she's currently pregnant with our first child together I have a 6-year-old daughter Tina whose mother I split 50/50 custody with so I know for the most part what Melody needs in order to feel supported while she carries our child I've been spending lots of time making sure she's comfortable and taking on more of the load at home so she's not doing too much this is her first child after all and it's obviously a lot for her physically and emotionally my mother and Melody don't get along too well mom didn't like my ex either we broke up because we were headed on different paths not because of my mother and there's no bad blood so I think she just doesn't like her because she's dating me for whatever reason it's weird she's very nitpicky about Melody how much she does around the house how emotional she is Melody already cries very easily and being pregnants made her even more sensitive which is fine the fact that she wants to be a stay-at-home mom it just seems like nothing Melody does is okay I do however stand up for her and do not just allow my mom to talk down to her today before picking up my daughter from summer camp melid went to three different grocery stores to find rotisserie chicken she's been talking about it since last night and really really wanted one she sent me a picture message documenting her quest for the chicken and finally found it my girl was happy rotisserie chicken is also kind of a comfort food for her like spaghetti because her mom used to make one of those when she was having a lazy day and didn't feel like cooking she was planning on serving that with some other basic sides for dinner perfectly fine by me my mother came by to see Tina and started telling Melody that chicken is bad for her and she shouldn't be eating that while pregnant Melody said it's fine she usually eats healthy and just wants this one thing she's craving my mom went on about how unhealthy it was and said she needs to eat something else Melody said No and went to the backyard to FaceTime her family out of state when she came back my mom had thrown out the food and ordered takeout a salad for Melody and pizza for everyone else Melody asked where the chicken was and my mother told her that she needs to start being a responsible mother and eat correctly for the baby melody screamed what the freak is wrong with you why are you always such a witch to me she then started crying and calling called me home I came back and asked my mother to leave after hearing her story and said she is not to come back until she apologizes for how she treated Melody my mom went on about how I'm choosing another woman over her but I just think enough is enough and Melody reached her limit she apologized to me for blowing up when Tina was in the house but I told her it's okay things happen Tina's okay and I went to find her another chicken before the store closed my dad thinks I'm right for taking Melody side but my brother thinks I should always defend mom so am I the jerk op is definitely not the jerk here I don't care how wrong you think it is you don't go around throwing away somebody else's food especially when you don't even live in that household and I don't know who this Grandma thinks they are but I don't think rotisserie chicken is really all that bad honestly op kicking them out and then going out and finding a replacement chicken Opie is a saint and honestly deserves a lot of praise for how they handled the situation forget all that noise op's Brothers making about how they should always defend mom choose another woman over her sorry I forgot op and their mom were dating our next story is from throwaway dnsn snsn SS am I the jerk for taking in my niece despite my husband's complaints even though we are child-free 25-year-old female and 27-year-old male niece is 3 years old my sister asked if we would be able to take her daughter since she had to go out of town for a surgical procedure and wouldn't be able to care for her daughter while she recovers I ran this by my husband who immediately said no and shook his head I said it was my niece and that just because we weren't really fans of having kids ourselves doesn't mean we can't do a favor for my family it ended in an argument but I ended up taking her anyways he refuses to do anything with her this isn't the first time they've met He's just never really interacted with her which I don't expect him to but when I brought up that he could have a better attitude about this he just said that I shouldn't have brought a kid into our home he also went on a rant that because of this I'm probably going to change my mind about having kids and he won't put up with that said like that he will divorce me if I even suggest it my niece hadn't even been much of a problem in fact she's usually quiet unless she's hungry or tired yes she gets into stuff and makes messes but I assume that's pretty standard toddler Behavior I don't understand why he's so angry since it's not like he's having to do anything I think op isn't the jerk and bless them for trying to help out for their own sibling I don't think I'm the only one to think this but I feel like op's husband is the one acting more like a toddler than their own three-year-old niece is this is one of those situations where the husband needs a nice dose of ride it out it'll be over soon just put up with it op's husband seems like the kind of person to complain super hard about nagging and then turn around and nag a million times about something they don't like our next story is from throwaway 5749 38 4763 am I the jerk for not wearing contacts on a double date I 25-year-old female was recently set up on a blind date with a friend of my sister's 30-year-old female boyfriend 30-year-old male she was really excited about it and refused to give me any details about him but said I'd know him when I saw him and I did it turns out her boyfriend's friend was my former Middle School Crush 27-year-old male we went to a small middle school so everything was everyone's business so he knew about it it was sort of embarrassing but I'm also hot now for the first time after losing a lot of weight so I don't really care the issue arose when my date Eric asked me what happened to my eye he knew me before I started wearing contacts and encouraged me to take them out if I was comfortable I have heterochrom one blue eye One Brown ever since I started High School I've been wearing brown contacts for a variety of reasons the first is because my vision is awful the second is for my own Comfort most people are normal about it but I've had some people be aggressive about proving that my eyes are fake the third is because my sister didn't want me taking attention away from her during her senior year of high school so she asked me to wear contacts after she graduated I stopped wearing them but when whenever I would do anything with her she would request that I wear contacts to cover up my condition I do it automatically whenever I see her now because if I don't she'll get really withdrawn and start crying anyway my sister was really happy that the date went well and suggested that we all go out together we ended up going to a local farm and garden center I decided not to wear my contacts because my eyes tend to get very irritated with the combination of the Heat and the dust my sister knows this so so I figured her suggesting this particular venue was her way of giving me permission to come in just glasses when her boyfriend saw my eyes he was fascinated he kept asking me questions about it and making jokes at the end of the day he wanted to take a group photo but had us do it inside the store so no one would have to wear sunglasses afterwards I got a text from my sister saying thanks for ruining a good day I eventually texted her back saying I didn't want to make things weird but she could have told him about the eye thing beforehand she never responded but I got a phone call from my mom a few hours ago berating me for ruining my sister's wedding apparently the reason she was so upset was she's been secretly engaged for the past week only my mom knew they were waiting until after my mom's birthday to announce it sister didn't want her fiance or his family to know about my eyes until after the wedding so I would look normal in pictures and his family wouldn't harass me about it which I sort of appreciate I feel really bad that she's fighting with her boyfriend over me and I'm kicking myself for not just wearing contacts I love my sister and I don't want her to be upset despite her thing with my eyes we've always been really close so I think pretty clearly op is not the jerk and op is weirdly conditioned to be so okay with hiding their eye color for the sake of their sister sanity I think this whole story is ridiculous and op shouldn't wear contacts because they just feel obligated to not upstage somebody from being naturally who they are just the whole thing blows my mind and our final story of the day is from blanket fort Queen am I the jerk for bringing my one-year-old to a Distillery important info we were in The Tasting Room with couches and sitting areas and some tables we were initially the only ones there then just as we finished two other people walk in we were sitting in one of the lounging slitting areas and little one was getting fussy in her stroller so I took her out and she played right around me on the stroller the other people chose to sit at the lounging section across from us little one was laughing and playing quietly for the most part but occasionally did start doing that excited yell SL scream thing kids do because she was happy it didn't happen a lot maybe two to three times over the course of 30 minutes she was babbling and talking a lot but it wasn't loud at all the two gentlemen were clearly not impressed and after a bit moved to a table then a bit later I heard one of them Mumble something about squealing and asked a worker if they could go sit outside we ended up leaving soon after I've never had this experience in public before and I'm wondering if it was because it was a Distillery that there's some Unwritten rule about not bringing kids and maybe I'm the jerk honestly a tasting room or a Distillery is kind of one of those places that really is kind of meant for adults only you know the people who are legally able to drink at those places honestly it's kind of surprising that there's places that don't have a rule against having anybody there that's under the legal age for wherever you're at like if this was in the UK I believe it would be 16 so I think op is just kind of like a gentle jerk here here as long as the place doesn't have a rule against it they're within the right to bring their kid but it doesn't pass the vibe check but with that being said that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another am I the jerk here story that was way crazier than any of the ones in this video click on that left video or if you missed my latest video check out the one on the right that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

Channel: Storytime

Views: 145,119

Keywords: storytime, story time, life stories, r/maliciouscompliance, r/idontworkherelady, r/entitledparents, r/entitled parents, entitled parents, maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, r/pro revenge, reddit stories, funny reddit stories

Id: 4tWnbBuy9WM

Length: 239min 34sec (14374 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 19 2023