Red Skelton Carson Tonight Show 1983

me I'm hanging around long enough to see who gets Brooke Shields you know I start the day off yeah I open my eyes and I don't see candles and smell flowers I give up then I saw my way through Playboy to get my heart started you haven't changed at all right all right are you into having change yeah no I put on fresh stuff today I'm not are you into any of this running and stuff they're all doing now aerobics or anything exercise yeah naps next yeah no big man roles big man no the only exercise I get is acting as Paul Bearer for my friends who exercise you know Johnny I play the colleges and I must say something to you I tell the students I said this is one of the greatest men I think truthfully you are a greater wit and humorous than rule Rogers for this in this respect he was great don't get me wrong but he had to go out he'd go out and use the same topical joke maybe for a week two weeks in what where are you yes where you have to come out every night when you're here you have to go out every night and in your monologue and you tell topical jokes what you're doing you're releasing a vent in all the people because they're all looking for something to find humor and the things that that are happening each day and sometimes you'll look at the audience if the well that didn't go too good but they are you may you're only playing the two people they're at home right now in bed yeah yeah no these people here who in nature they all say gee I hope at the office they didn't hear this cuz I can use it tomorrow so the best you're gonna get from them is intellectual nods oh that's nice no that's true and you're you're a great inspiration for the students thank you I figure if you could make it so can they we're talking with Richard Skelton that's my maiden yeah when's the first time they called you red well it's my middle name yeah uh the teacher one day says what is your middle name Isis red she's known as a nickname ice no it's red says no that's a nickname go home find out what your middle name is so I don't I said I'm a mother what's my middle name she's a hit you in the mouth I was a teacher says brother my name is not red she's well that's your name so I went back to schools what's your name I says it's red my middle name she's know now don't come back until you've got a middle name so what so I went home and my mother said make up one so I looked in the newspaper there's a place in Vincennes called Bernards closer I says my name Bernard so I went to school and Isis what's your names is Bernard - see I told you had a middle name then later on I was in Washington DC and J Edgar Hoover says well how are you Bernard I said Bernard where'd you get that he says it's on Utah CA here we're hitting yes they put up a phony name and they handed ya the habits they're they have it there but red is my middle name yeah I was uh Vincennes Indiana yeah yeah what's a very first show you ever played did you remember being on the stage in front of an audience uh with doing a show my yeah or anything or the medicine show a Medicine Show is a platform out and an open field and you do a performance and then you sell the product they call it television now well does burlesque like most people think the last was a strippers it wasn't sudden Oscar same Donatella no family entertainment was when I was in no you couldn't say hell or damn you know and you ever had things bother you're right in the middle of answering something it's just done to me I'm mentioning that people in Hell where do they tell people to go Burbank another thing I can't figure out is that why do they have a handicap parking lot up a space rather in front of a liquor store you've been giving this a lot of thought haven't you yeah think of another thing how can your wife see a little blonde hair on your coat missed the garage door you never liked these do you know I don't for many years you carry this expensive cigar yeah but the United States tobacco company it gives them to me yeah yeah I write I do their commercials for the name I see but you just matter of fact I just did one but yes you do matter man so you just hold that and I just hold them I think it's a must be a form of security in a way I used to use a corn cob when I was in burlesque is that a tramp comic and he had two corn cob then I used a rubber cigar and when I was in burlesque Mattie Ellis and the straight man says why don't you learn to do all those things you're doing with that cigar with a real one so I did after that show was over the matinee show the first show we used to do two shows a day one an afternoon one at night guy came back stages has you ever thought about going into vaudeville I said who hasn't he says uh well the guy in my AK is leaving in two weeks I'd like to see so I've always connected this with money you know security yuck yeah security I only got I was only getting $50 a week when I was in Berlin you know you want to know something they could have paid me $1,000 a week because they weren't even giving me my 50 pigs no different I've told you this story before and I've told it on the air but I'm gonna tell it briefly because well I wrote for you once isn't I was wondering one of the writers and I'd sit at home trying to write jokes and you were doing you know occasionally you do Heathcliff and Gertrude the two seagulls so I'm sitting one night I'm sitting in front of a mirror to try to get the feeling you know what I'm going to do to do to do go through that the Heathcliff and my my wife walked in she saw this grown man with his thumbs under his armpits going through to to do to toe and she knew there was trouble in the marriage right then and there so what are you doing and I said I'm writing we sit and do that she says I hope it's a check for the cat do what's the favorite character kids ask for nowadays oh then kid Eddie jr. sure to mean little kid yeah Jr says um it's jr. you pulling that cat tail no I'm not putting a cat tail I'm holding on he you and your turn Hausa Clem Clem Clem they they like klimkin little hopper because uh you do did you play dude well sir since I saw you last I got married I got married at a military wedding there were gun there let's put it that way why um I met my wife through her brother he says to me would you like to meet one of my sisters I should you got sisters he says I got two ones names laughing the others Hortense I said last he's a dog he says way too easy or too Gertrude Gertrude he Cleo yeah you got a single she says um she says uh we've been waitin around her all day for Herman the pigeon wonder what's keeping him she saw I don't know what keeping Herman so Herman comes in he had got a feather on him and he's walking people towed he ain't got a feather on him and he Clifton what on earth happened to you he said oh she say the worst thing ever happened to me I was flying too low over Beverly Hills and I got in the damnedest badminton game here fun to be around you again no thank you best times ever had my life where was hanging around CBS in the 50s when you were on the air and all those great shows came out Playhouse nightie and Bob Crosby in our Linklater and all those great shows were working there was a lot of fun yes well you're wonderful man we'll be around you taught me a lot I stole a lot from you know you're an oh yes I did no no it's like the students they say they're Johnny was with you at one time you helped him get sight to know nobody helps you get started if you've got talent they can put you behind a brick wall you'll come through you know it's nice so that's what you have

Channel: Archy A

Views: 1,893,395

Rating: 4.8297534 out of 5

Keywords: Red Skelton (Film Actor), Variety Show (TV Genre)

Id: RI7kJvwvmDo

Length: 9min 0sec (540 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 15 2015

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