Bert Kreischer Returns For A Rematch Against Spicy Wings | Hot Ones

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oh my god that was so bad Sean and is still burning I'm gonna feel that one tonight [Music] hey what's going on everybody for first we feast I'm Sean Evans and you're watching hot ones it's the show with hot questions and even hotter ways and today we're doing a quarantine special with our buddy comedian Bert Kreischer he has a special on Netflix the trending hey big boy also check out the Berk cast something's burning on YouTube as well as two bears one cave a podcast he does alongside fellow friend of the brand Tom Segura Bert Kreischer thanks for joining me for this very special hot ones quarantine edition I am so excited I can't tell you part of me feels like I'm gonna over saturate my wings I can already feel it well you know it's do it ourselves here today I know I had wings delivered about an hour ago they sent the sauces over to your house so we're just like kind of on the honor system here I got everything oh dude first of all you know for a fact people are gonna talk [ __ ] [ __ ] and you go oh they even didn't put any sauce on it he's doing it himself bro I'm loading these wings up [Music] [Music] slide the phone out you see the steam coming off of it here we go fresh mmm nice [Music] so I suppose we should start with the goofy reason why we're doing this interview over the Internet which is obviously this corona pandemic and the quarantine have you given any thought to what this all means for stand up I heard you make an interesting point on the podcast where you called the quarantine like a reset button for comedians it's going to redefine touring for a lot of comics a lot of comics are gonna look at it and and you look at it you go there's 400 touring comics and theaters right well those all those foreign comics are gonna be struggling to get the same four theaters at the last six months five months of the year that means 200 comics that are theater acts are going to clubs that means 200 club comics that are high level Club comics are getting their money docked and they're going down to fallout weekends that means guys like myself and segura who 10 years ago we're getting opportunities aren't getting opportunities and by the way we're also talking about comedy clubs their rents are like probably 25 grand 30 grand in these shopping malls they're not gonna be able to pay their rents the onus is on guys like myself bill burr Tom Segura Joe Rogan Joey Diaz all these guys that are doing bigger numbers to go into these comedy clubs on Monday Tuesday Wednesday and make sure that make sure that they can pay their mortgages make sure that they can pay their rents and make sure that all these wait staffs can pay their bills I'm gonna turn my phone off hold on lovely just unplug it who has a landline I'll tell you what landlines and guns come in handy during these quarantines huh come a palooka Lika whoa that comes out quick holy crap I just blew copied this link this looks like it's gonna be sweet yeah buh buh now perfectly done so I might surprise you sneaky heat yeah oh you needed yeah but I put on it oh [ __ ] without my computer I doused that holy [ __ ] so I want to stay on the topic of coronavirus and comedy because you know what you've seen a lot of sports teams do is experiment with this idea of having games with no fans in the stands or you see like WrestleMania and a completely empty arena does that translate to comedy like would recording a Netflix comedy special under those conditions even be something you could do well speaking as a guy who used to do comedy with no fans in the audience all do mm no it doesn't work there's a guy online and I'm not gonna say his name but he's like a comic and he did he does every day he does 10 minutes of stand-up just right to a mic but once again he's him in his house he's got a black sheet that clearly he's jacked off on a couple of times it's like watching a crazy person unravel my biggest fear in the world isn't like me - it's not it's not anything anything bad my biggest fear is is someone one day is gonna take this camera and stream me masturbating that's my biggest fear is that you will see me unmasked just sitting there readers on just and that is my fear and that's what doing stand-up by yourself looks like looks like you they caught you masturbating Berndt I know you have a party animal reputation but I take comfort in the fact that you're just as comfortable and happy at home watching TV have you had a chance to see precious gems since your interview with Adam Sandler did you see that interview I did I did oh how cringe-worthy was that I thought it was kind of charming it was extremely Burt this is how oblivious I am Sean I didn't even realize I did what I did I literally walked out got my Karim was like that went great I literally thought to myself that went great and and the head writer for my Netflix series cabin my Gibbons called me and he said that was hilarious and I was like yeah I was like I didn't know if is that funny and he was like are you kidding me you asked him if he had [ __ ] Netflix and I went well yeah right he goes Burt he's got a two hundred million dollar deal at Netflix yeah they'd throw that in and I went oh yeah that was a dumb question he goes that was a dumb question he goes do you realize you called it happy Madison you called it precious gems and then you said what movie would you work on for the rest here like you oh yeah that didn't go so good he goes that didn't go so good all sudden my other phone rings on my like the other call-waiting rings is Jay oakerson Jay oakerson is dying laughing he's like you made a fool of yourself for the better part of 10 minutes and I was like was it that bad he goes oh bro I cut it together I could not watch the parts they were talking about cuz I had no recollection I thought it went off so smoothly I didn't even know I had [ __ ] up and that dude thank God Adam Sandler's a king because not only did he watch my set special but he came out and said that he enjoyed it he had that nice tweet about it dude that was the [ __ ] greatest I wonder part of him was like f [ __ ] it he seems like a nice guy like I wasn't a dick I was just an idiot [Music] that's a good sauce that's a really good sauce this might be a keeper this is a good whoa this is a good on ribs on on a nice on a nice brisket sandwich sauce this is down on this goes over to the side I like that one a lot for your adventures in parenting to teenage girls they've been well-documented throughout your stand-up specials over the years I understand that you've taken the role of PE teacher during this stretch of homeschooling but can you paint the picture for me like what does gym class look like with Coach Kreischer gym class with Coach visor starts with a whistle we have a trade off we can do 15 minutes of calisthenics which is jumping jacks deep knee bends the Hindu get-ups or you can do three miles on the treadmill what's a lunch lady Burt serving up in the at-home cafeteria bro I think killer [ __ ] sandwiches I have really taken my sandwich to the next level I make an egg perfectly fluffy the way that Gordon Ramsay taught you how beautiful little creme fraiche in it I take bacon I put it in the oven I cook it at 420 right get it nice and melty fresh avocados cheese great breads I've done croissants I've done baggy I've done all great breads toting the toaster toast it up man my breakfast sandwich games on lock gave it to Georgia she was like oh my god like I in my head I go enough of those sandwiches is she won't do drugs oh I am putting a lot of hot sauce on these wings Sean we're doing it for the people today I mean look at these these bones are sliding out these are perfect is a veteran over here not his first wing wow this is awesome this one's [ __ ] great all right Bert as you know in the five spot we have a recurring segment called explain that Graham we do a deep dive on our guests Instagram pull interesting pictures that need more context I think maybe I'll just like text these things to you but maybe you already know what I'm talking about anyway if you show it to me I should know it first up is uh you know one of these videos where you're around a bajillion fans and no I usually went to your last show here in New York probably one of like the last comedy shows before this whole thing hit and you always do this thing where you'll invite everybody who's at the show and I think you did two sold-out shows that night at the Beacon Theater has that ever backfired on you when you just blitz some dive bar in a local town with like a hundreds of people from your show oh yeah it backfires a lot fun I imagine it would sometimes they're massively grateful if you go to a place like like we were in I think we're in Winnipeg and I was like fantastic we'll go to this bar everyone goes or Calgary we're in Calgary send everyone over to a bar it was like one of those like Max and Emmas you know type bars where it's like a little little corporate huge lots of space go in they're loving you they're like dude you made our night but you go into those bars like a bar and you know Pittsburgh and it's just some chick throat tattoo go and get the [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] who you are [ __ ] beat it oddly enough I actually ran into you at this event - here you are at the Kings game that's right what do you think is your single greatest Jumbotron moment of all time I think it'd have to be that Kings game without a doubt I mean I got was I I got some tarps off tarps off for the boys because when as soon as the camera went to me I threw my shirt off and the hockey player looked at me I said tarps off for the boys and he started laughing a toothless laugh and I was like oh bro that's all I need the last one is the dance battle the famous dance battle that you had with Tom Segura dancing to post Malone's Wow what's your honest assessment of that dance battle and then were you surprised by anyone who reached out to you after the fact I did think it was cool that like Tom got an actual cosign from Missy Elliott Tom's was awesome man I was blown away by how much he put into it because it was just so much bigger than mine like syllabi got a high budget music video or something yeah I never got a shout-out for clothes blown you [ __ ] believe that I mean I'm sure I didn't really celebrate his work the way he wanted to be celebrated sure he saw that it was like why am I supposed to like this the guy's fat as [ __ ] all right Bert are you ready to move on back half here yup Thai green sauce Thai green sauce and the six spot I love it all right I'm going to I'm going to a leg whoa these are running out hot men [Music] I like this one that so during simpler times recently you went to a Los Angeles Wildcats game with Bill burr how did the fan experience of the XFL compared to say like seeing the Rams play Monday Night Football at the Coliseum BER is not he's a very nice guy he's very generous to his fans but he's you know in a we raised kind of blend in a bull he blends in you know he's got a shaved head he's got a beard he's got his hat on but it's not hat isn't like like a good-looking hat it's like a Nike golf hat like you know it's just like a regular person's hat so he kind of blends in I on the other hand and like half shirtless half the time I'm loud as [ __ ] bill kept going you got to stop matching their [ __ ] energy he's like they recognize you and you get more excited than they get you're like oh shut up on the machine and your shirt comes off he's like [ __ ] stop that just so hey thank you and take the picture I was like yeah yeah yeah it was awesome dude we had a great time the food was awesome I wanted to do a halftime show to promote my special one game I was gonna go to and in right at halftime are you gonna hear loud the guy in the loud announcer go ladies and gentlemen today's halftime presentation is brought to you by comedian Bert Kreischer his special hey Big Boi is currently streaming on Netflix make sure to check it out and tell your friends sit back and enjoy oh my god it's a streaker and then I was gonna run out make it right have the cops chase me cops are chasing me they tackle me on the center-field right and all of a sudden you hear duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh night and we all stand up right young man there's no need to and you know the whole crowd would go nuts oh I was so excited the XFL was coming to my beacon game and then you know my beacon show in New York and then [ __ ] went sideways so maybe next season or I'll do it for the Rams all right I got a doused this one's a little thicker of sauce oh yeah oh oh [ __ ] yeah everything else has been [ __ ] around until now Oh gloves are off we're at altitude so hip-hop has been kind of dominating the quarantine between Drake songs made for tick tock and then these DJ battles that are going on with Instagram live yes Dave Chappelle once said that every comedian wants to be a rapper and every rapper thinks they're funny a hundred percent a hundred percent dude I write lyrics in earnest I sang them on our podcast - there's one cave last week man I love I Spit bars I hate my favorite rapper that I get a kick out of him hardcore is uh Trinidad James dude there's no better feeling than to be playing all gold everything windows down and pulling up to softball to pick up your daughter and watch her just crumble MJG an 8-ball alcohol [ __ ] and weed one of my favorite songs to pull up picking my kids look up to alcohol [ __ ] and weed once alcohol [ __ ] and weed twice I mean I'm like on the [ __ ] floor all right Burt are you ready to move on to the 8th spot you know this one well I believe the bomb beyond insanity this one's no joke man every time anyone says anything about hot ones they go what's the sauce this is the sauce that that legit it does push up the right way I put a healthy amount on I'm now pulling it off like any respectable adult all right this is gonna hurt tomorrow morning this is gonna be the one that gets me up at 4:00 in the morning sitting on my squatty potty whoa oh it already perfect [Music] all right you're a man who's well-connected well-loved in comedy so if you'll humor me I want to throw some comedy world superlatives off of you and you just tell me the first person who comes to mind and why oh [ __ ] dude I had way too much on that one who's most likely to make national headlines getting beat up by the mainstream media for a corona joke how you gonna get beat up oh my god I can't even [ __ ] think son oh it just got so [ __ ] real don't touch your face don't touch your eyes I know it's the [ __ ] coronavirus I'm not touching Haley you know it's gonna be it's gonna be a cloud chaser and they'll be looking for exam I'll tell you who it is Adam hunter Adam hunter you've I don't know who he is I'm sorry Adam but he doesn't give a [ __ ] Ari Shaffir what the [ __ ] am I talking about always appear good Ari Shaffir is getting beat up no it's always a beer which comedian besides yourself and Tom do you think at the best hot ones episode Joey Diaz without a [ __ ] doubt Joey be a classic after son I gotta give a shout-out to Chris D'Elia use the original comedian on hot ones like what deep TJ Miller was pretty amazing but D'Elia was like [ __ ] comedians seem to be more Fitness obsessed than they ever have been before it was most likely to come out of isolation looking like they stepped out of boot camp Burke aye sir I'm working out like buggin crazy but I'm not drinking that's why I'm eating like a [ __ ] Savage oh my god Sean I put way too much I heard you say that's it you went whoa and I was like what but that's very burnt going a hundred miles per hour through the intersection red light or not I have a problem with impulse I'll tell you is gonna be the fattest comment coming out its agura so there is eating like crazy bro he calls me he's like I can't stop eating cupcakes I'm like for real he's like yeah man I'm like who's making cupcakes he's like I'm breaking Gordon team go to the store oh my god that was so [ __ ] bad Sean it is still burning I'm gonna feel that one tonight holy [ __ ] I'm not even stopped down from the last one Oh God all right here we go it's going down oh I'm still burning from the bomb uh-uh right here we go oh are you having coffee huh no I'm just drinking uh some ice water out of this pucker buff mug I'm gonna live by myself guy I just have mugs and like three spoons Oh Bert last year you optioned the rights to your story the machine for a feature film has the rise of the Machine and everything that happens since you first told it officially become more unbelievable than the experience that inspired it I feel like I can't believe that story's got that kind of legs like there was a time where is like if I had quit doing comedy I don't think anyone would have noticed like they would have been like oh I didn't even know that you didn't do it anymore so to have anyone care that you have a joke let alone be like I mean at the end of every show there you like flying dildos Tracy Morgan the Machine ziplining in your like and I think this is the difference between telling jokes like set up plunge and doing stories like when you do a story I think it's ever-changing it's always kind of morphing like a little bit like a jam band and I think that's what people enjoy about I think I don't know I don't know I'll keep telling as long as they want to hear it I'll keep telling it all right Bert Kreischer will last them look at this [ __ ] plate Shawn look at this plate it looks like a murder while wow what is a crime sealed all over the [ __ ] thing again I just got my pants all then alright the last tab do you remember when Coolio put this [ __ ] I mean I remember that so vividly I'll never forget that to have it all up a tad bit rub it in alright here we go I'm records big boy cheers big ears Thank You Shawn Faulk me all right Bert here we are at the top of mount Scoville a bajillion scovilles threatening to short-circuit this zoom chat that we're doing over the Internet so now that we're here what's your message to the people out there who might be feeling a little bit down a little bit anxious a little bit alienated and these uncertain times I think the people need the calming influence of Bert Kreischer the people's comedian there's not about hard work people you know what it is you watch these inspirational people on Instagram that are like it's about get out of bed get up it's 5:45 in the morning start doing kettle bells not today guys it's about staying at home sometimes the best workout you can do is not getting on the treadmill it's about staying home and taking half a xanax and watching Blazing Saddles and taking the time to learn how to make bread or learn how to make pizza dough you know god damn look hard works great you need our work you need a work ethic but every now and then you gotta be the guy that goes that's it I'm calling it a night then you go [ __ ] it so stay home and get lucky sometimes you gotta take your foot off the gas pedal and those are words to live by from Bert Kreischer and look at you my man our famous fan in early classic hot ones in 2016 and here we are with the quarantine special for the people here in 2020 and now there's nothing left to do but roll out the red carpet for you my friend this camera this camera only one camera let the people know what you have going on in your life if you are stuck at home I hope that I can treat you to some comedy turn on Netflix and watch hey big boy streaming right now it is my four special my third one on Netflix on Netflix you can find secret time and the machine where I tell the story about getting involved with the Russian mafia and robbing a train when I was 22 but more importantly check out hey big boy streaming right now on Netflix Sean I love you you've created somebody to intent for me to sit back and enjoy during this quarantine thank you thank you thank you I got you on my DVR on truTV I'm watching hot ones a game show every [ __ ] night god bless you brothers stay safe all right love you bird thank you so much for Dylan you too Sean [Music] Oh bro it's my favorite thing I ever get recognized for people say you know oh I love you Netflix special I love you on Rogan oh I follow the podcast you always like really but when they say hot ones I go because I know that they've watched mine they've watched all of them like I have and we immediately pick up Mike what did you think of the Russell Brand episode and they're like oh my god almost as good as Ricky Gervais I go hold on Margot Robbie and they're like dude the best one you've done Paul Rudd I fell in love with Paul Rudd look I was thanking me but with Paul Rudd my entire life I was like I get it I guess maybe his uncle who owns a studio I don't know how he got him and Mark Ruffalo how did they get folded into it I get it but man that episode with Paul Rudd I fell in love with him dude yesterday was his birthday he turned 51 and I was like everything he does is great he turned 51 like now I feel young because of Paul Rudd well they said the bomb here's corona but you got to put it in your [ __ ] would you do it hey what's going on hot ones fans this is Sean Evans checking in with a very exciting sauce update now as I'm sure you're aware we have a new show hot ones the game show on truTV featuring sauces that are off the charts hot I'm talking about the brain burner the eye of the Scorpion the constrictor all extreme heat with beautiful labels designed by tattoo artists of note and guess what they can be yours that's right brain burner I have the Scorpion the constrictor they're all available at heat Ness calm heat nice calm heat nice calm to order and don't forget to check out hot ones The Game Show Tuesdays 10:00 p.m. Eastern 9 central on truTV live the show if you dare bring the pepper dome to your living room and remember milkshakes are for winners only [Music]
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Channel: First We Feast
Views: 2,839,086
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: First we feast, fwf, firstwefeast, food, food porn, cook, cooking, chef, kitchen, recipe, cocktail, bartender, craft beer, complex, complex media, Cook (Profession)sean evans, bert kreischer, bert kreischer hot ones, bert kreischer quarantine, bert kreischer hot wings, bert kreischer hot sauce, bert kreischer at home, bert kreischer big boy netflix, bert kreischer spicy wings, bert kreischer sean evans, hot ones at home
Id: l7O05OzGJzg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 26min 37sec (1597 seconds)
Published: Thu Apr 23 2020
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