BAR GRAPH - Live writing session - Band 8.0+ sample answer!

hello wonderful people ielts daily friends students from all over the world we're here with a live writing class and i want to talk about ielts task one and we're going to look at a bar graph or a bar chart today i'm going to write a sample answer for you guys just to have a kind of an idea of how i approach tasks and whether you could maybe take something from this it's not live so you won't be able to chat in the chat but you can leave comments please feel free to leave comments and don't forget you can subscribe to be a paid member of the channel and you get you get um two pieces of writing feedback every month with that should we start um don't forget if you're doing the ielts academic test every different type of question is hard because you have to know the difference between each one so the bar chart is what we're focusing on today let's have a look at this question and i promise i haven't written a sample answer before i haven't prepared for this so this is going to be exactly how i would do this in the test and when you do your writing please make sure that when you practice you put the time on so many students really struggle with time so it's very important let's begin now we'll have a look at the question here and it's a bar chart which talks about the popularity of various hobbies now i'm going to start my stopwatch because in the test you should only have 20 minutes here we go my stopwatch has started and i want to talk about um or i want to think about how to approach this like i said it's live i haven't prepared for it at all we're looking at bar graphs and the first thing that if i were in the test i would look at the question itself it says the chart shows how popular four hobbies were in 2000 as opposed to their popularity today and you can see there is a bar chart below so we've got um a bar chart which shows in blue the year 2000 and an orange present then we have um the column on the left which is traveling then we've got reading walking and sports these things are all called key features you do need to know about those key features please include them all in your task now if i were approaching this the first thing that i would be doing is thinking about how to organize my ideas and usually for something like this when you've got a couple of years it's normal to say what happened in one year versus what happened in another year so in this case we've got 2 000 and then that's um the present day is the second option and therefore i would probably split split my paragraphs up into those two categories and that's probably the most logical way splitting them up by hobby type probably wouldn't be worth it now what's the first thing that i need to do i need to think about the overall trend okay and that was going to form part of my overview yeah the overview will be what's the main trend now if i look at the um task it's got traveling the blue line is smaller than the orange line reading the blue line is bigger than the orange line walking again the blue line is bigger and sports the orange line is is bigger than the blue line so what i noticed there is that the reading and the walking the popularity of those actually decreased they went from 15 to 8 and 35 to 12. okay that's for reading and for walking travelling actually increased to 25 to 40 and interestingly sports goes from 25 to 40 as well and i think those are two obvious trends so we would say that the the main trend is that traveling and sports went up and reading and walking went down and you don't need to include too many um you don't need to include too many details here that's not that's not what's necessary so that's my trend and that's my overview and it's very important we always know that our introduction paragraph is going to be a paraphrasing of the question that's always the same so that's nice and easy and i think i said that my body paragraph one or my third paragraph we'll call it paragraph three is going to be about the year 2000 and paragraph four is going to be about the present day today and that's for me that's the most logical way to do that so let's put those in bold wonderful i think to be honest i think that's the main things that we need to do it's always really important to plan at the beginning so that you could have a good idea um now the introduction should be a paraphrase now the question says the chart shows how popular four hobbies were in 2000 as opposed to their popularity today um so we could say something like the bar chart provides information on the popularity oops of four different hobbies you could also say past times past pastimes is another way that you could say okay four different hobbies um you could say between in 2000 and the present day we could say because we've got um to today is in the question and present is in the task let's check that again just to make sure it sounds right the bar chart provides information on the popularity of four different hobbies in 2000 and the present day you could also say in 2000 compared with the present day and in that case you would have to say compared with the present day you can't just say compared with present day always remember that you need articles okay um i think that's probably good enough for now and we can always come back and if we need to make changes we can make changes as we go on so the overview the overview we know traveling in sports went up and reading and walking went down so we would start with overall now the the most logical thing to do is to group them together so overall the um let's say traveling and sports both increased or yet increased um let me think about this one just takes two seconds i want to think about sometimes it's difficult to think aloud i don't really the reason why i'm thinking like this is because i don't want to say the popularity of again because i i could start with um the popularity of traveling in sports both increased that's okay but what i don't want to do really is repeat ideas or repeat phrases so i'm just being very careful about that so i'm going to think about this in another way both traveling and sports increased their popularity i don't think that sounds right traveling and sports both became more popular between over the period okay so over the period and um and are now the two most um the two hobbies which people prefer the most let me see if that can if that makes sense so overall traveling in sports both became more popular over the period and are now the two hobbies which people prefer the most that's true right so we've got both of them at 40 and on the other hand reading and walking um became lost popularity have lost popularity reading and walking have lost their have lost popularity um over the pit over the period i think we just said over the period um since 2000 we don't want to repeat over the period it's very important that we don't repeat ideas we're now at 8 minutes and 15 seconds so that's good we're still working well i'm just going to read again and make sure that my ideas make sense overall traveling and sports both became more popular over the period and are now the two hobbies which people prefer the most now what i'm looking for are some grammar some complex sentences so this is a witch sentence and that shows um that shows that they are the most popular and i just noticed forgive me that the window isn't quite viewable visible sorry if i just move that over forgive me and i will make this one a little bit smaller sorry that's the problem of doing it live i'll move this over here hopefully you can see that i've i'm sorry about that i'll make that just a little bit wider great hopefully you can see that now wonderful now as i mentioned we're looking for grammar complexity and the complexity of grammar is needs to be varied and i'm gonna go the the bar chart provides information on the population of four different hobbies compared with the present day um compared to the present day compared with the present day um you can use both so i'm going to say compared to and you can say compared with both of them are acceptable overall travelling and sports both became more popular over the period and and this is a compound sentence so it's not a complex sentence it's a compound sentence and are now the two hobbies which people prefer the most so this would be called a complex compound sentence or a compound complex sentence on the other hand we can reading and walking have lost popularity since 2000 and you'll notice here that i'm trying to vary the tenses of my language so if you notice here that i've got the have lost since that's a present perfect and in this case um we've got became which is the past right so we can use both of those to show a little bit of variety in our tenses now um what do we notice in 2000 in 2000 what do i notice here about the most common um or the most popular so the blue line i can see that walking was the most popular sports was the sports and traveling with the second most popular 25 and reading was the least popular all right that's uh pretty easy so in 2000 most people preferred to go walking as their main hobby and as their main hobby followed we need to give a percentage with 35 of respondents choosing this activity and that's an a that's um a grammatically complex sentence we've used the gerund form there so i'm using a different type of grammar and sports and traveling were i had the same level of popularity with 25 while reading was the least popular past time with only and now i'm showing again we've got the word while and that's a different complex sentence there as well um and we're using the word pastime to show that we have some flexibility in our language and i'll move it up forgive me i'll move it up so that you can see past time so that's a different level um different piece of language that you could use and if i just check my word count you will um i'll tell you that i'm currently on 93 words 93 words and we've got about seven minutes left let's finish the s the final paragraph and hopefully we'll get up to our 150 words um things were or things are different today because um sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the most um to become the hobbies which most people prefer with 40 of respondents choosing each okay so things are different today because sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the hobbies which most people prefer as you can see as 40 of respondents have chosen each because it's today they have chosen each hobby um then we can say reading and walking both suffered a decline in participation or in popularity a decline in popularity with reading remaining the least favorable or least favored you could say the least favorite hobby um at eight percent um reading and walking both suffered a decline in popularity with reading remaining the least favorite hobby at eight percent um walking suffered a much larger decline in its popularity comma dropping to only 12 percent so let's have a look and see first of all whether we have um covered all of the points that we wanted to do sorry um if i just do the following i want to make this bigger for you and we'll have a look and see how many words i've done first of all because now i'm at 16 minutes i now should start thinking about how many words have i reached the word count so this is exactly this is exactly 150 words okay so i don't really need to be looking for new sentences to explain things i want to have a look at the two paragraphs that i've written let's take a look together in 2000 most people prefer to go walking as their main hobby with 35 percent of respondents choosing this activity so i've covered walking great sports and traveling had the same level of popularity with 25 while reading was the least popular pastime with only 15 okay so we've done some comparisons there which is great um and now i'm making a comparison and i'm showing that things are different today and this is very very very important that you do compare and contrast i've said things are different today because sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the hobbies which most people prefer as 40 percent let me just have a look at that again um again i could just i could do something like with 40 respondents choosing each and that's reduced my word count just a little which most people prefer comma with 40 percent um 40 one was choosing each reading and walking both suffered a decline in popularity um with reading remaining the least favored hobby at eight percent um walking suffered a much larger decline in its um you could say overall popularity dropping to third place dropping to third place with 12 and we'll just use the a couple of these additional words to help us get up to this um word count but remember that word count is not um considered nowadays really as much as it used to be if you don't reach the 150 words that's not the end of the world i'm pretty comfortable with this and i've used different grammatical forms i've demonstrated that i've had some flexibility with my language i've used different grammatical tenses i still have about a minute and a half for some checking and excuse me go through and have a read the bar chart provides information on popularity of four different hobbies in 2000 compared to the present day overall traveling in sports both became more popular over the period and are now the most the two hobbies which people prefer the most on the other hand it's contrast reading and walking have lost popularity since 2000. you could say have declined in popularity have declined in popularity since 2000 in 2000 most people prefer to go walking as their main hobby with 35 percent of respondents choosing this activity this activity is example of referencing and you need to have referencing in your um script because you need to get over band 7 for coherence and cohesion so your referencing needs to be on point sports and traveling had the same level of popularity with 25 while reading was the least popular pastime with only 15 things different today because sports and traveling have overtaken walking to become the hobbies which most people prefer with 40 respondents choosing each reading and walking both suffered a decline in popularity with reading remaining the least favored hobby at eight percent walking suffered a much larger decline in its overall popularity again referencing dropping to third place with 12 percent and i just um i hope that i've covered all the um details correctly remember you have to and we finished 20 minutes good job um remember that you do have to i'll come back to the big screen you do have to cover all the key features in this and what did you think of this was it difficult was it easy sometimes it's quite difficult to find lots of words and reach this 150 words and do not give less of your attention to the task one you need to give it the full 20 minutes of your attention because you need to cover all the main points you need to check it and you need to show that you have different kind of complexity and grammatical range um what did you think if you liked this video if you thought it was useful please give this video a like and i really appreciate you coming along today i hope it was useful nice quick session go and do some homework prepare prepare prepare and i will look forward to seeing you in a future video take care of yourselves bye

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Id: qermJ3ZxChI

Length: 22min 29sec (1349 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 20 2021