The congressional committee
investigating the January 6th insurrection is considering a
possible criminal referral for Steve Bannon and former
President Donald Trump is basically telling Republicans
not to vote in future elections. For more on this,
it's time for a closer look. I don't have to tell you the
last 19 months of pandemic life have been a slog. You can just
tell by looking at the before and after of this show. I mean
19 months ago, I was in a suit and tie, laser focused on the
day's top stories. Now, I'm here going on tangents, dressed
like an assistant manager at a sprint store. Things have
changed. People used to come up to me and say they love the
show. Now, they ask me, what's Wally like in real life? Who told you you could write
applaud for Wally on a card? I didn't. I I didn't. This card
wrote itself. Oh boy. Part of the slog, of course,
has come from the difficulty in getting more people vaccinated
and overcoming right-wing misinformation about vaccines.
There have been all sorts of wild claims swirling on the
far-right fringes at one point, Reuters was forced to publish
an article with this very real headline, fact check, a vaccine
did not turn characters in the movie I Am Legend into zombies.
That's not a fact check. That's a plot check. That sounds like
someone at Reuters just wanted to get paid to watch I Am
Legend. Are you telling me the time my mom asked, who is the
guy in the movie with Jennifer Lopez where she's the maid? I
can just yell, I don't know, call Reuters. And the main
reason you know vaccines don't turn people into zombies is
that there was even time to fact check it. In zombie
movies, the newscaster always anchors screaming before the
screen goes to static. And 28 days later, there wasn't a news
report where some dude said, did a rage virus from a monkey
eradicate human life in less than a month? We rate the
statement mostly true. They've reached the studio. It is worth
remembering amid all this that there is actually a very large
pro vaccine consensus in this country. Last month, the poll
found that 79% of Americans are vaccinated or planned to get
vaccinated and yesterday, the White House released new data
showing that 77% of eligible Americans have already received
at least one shot. Which is great news. It means slowly but
surely we're overcoming the small but vocal group of
right-wing conspiracy theories spreading dangerous
misinformation like Donald Trump's former national
security adviser, Mike Flynn who claimed at one point that
they were putting the vaccine in salad dressing. You know,
somebody sent me a thing this morning where they're talking
about putting the vaccine into salad dressing or salads. Have
you seen this? Yes. Have you seen this? I mean, it's and I'm
and I'm thinking to myself, this is the bizarre world,
right? This is definitely the bizarre world. If you're
wondering which one General Flynn was, he's the one wearing
the shirt that says General Flynn. We live in a country where the
former national security adviser starts a sentence with.
Somebody send me a thing. That's what your grandpa says
right before you have to change all of his passwords for him.
Also, with regard to the salad dressing, I think you're
misreading the label, the valley is hidden, not the
vaccine. Sal, Sal wrote that one. Also, if a vaccine could be
effectively delivered via salad dressing, don't you think
that's how we'd be doing it? People are afraid of needles.
No one's afraid of dressing except that radish in the don't
drown your food PSA. Anybody here born between seventy-1 and
76? Alright, great. Seriously. Could you imagine how much
higher our vaccination rates would be if the choice was a
needle in the arm or a tablespoon of ranch? If my
first shot was ranch, can my second one be Russian dressing?
I'm asking 'cuz I just ate corned beef. Also, why does
Flynn keep saying, have you seen this? It's hard to take
these people seriously when they start using the cadence
and catchphrase as stand-up comedians. It's like Jay Leno
got super into queueing on. Have you seen this? Have you
heard about this? A secret group of the same worshipers is
controlling our government. I feel like the floor is really
gonna fall out on a lot of these impressions. Cuz when it
was just the crew, I'd say, that sounded like Jay Leon,
right? They'd be like, right away, Mr. Myers, you bet. It
was like he was in the room with us, sir. And then, of course, you've got
the right-wing megaphones of Fox News and the Republican
Party amplifying vaccine misinformation every day. For
example, we told you yesterday about the baseless right-wing
claim that cancellations that Southwest Airlines were caused
by protests against Joe Biden's vaccine mandate. Even Trump
called into a right-wing radio show and claimed that was what
was going on while also gratuitously throwing in a
mention of his own gripes about the election he lost. I think
it has a lot to do with a lot of things. I think it has
something to do with the election that we rigged. I
think I think these are big fans of your favorite
president, Howie. I think that this has something to do with
that. I think it has something to do with the, I think it has
a lot to do with the mandates where they're just not going in
and you know, they're gonna destroy the economy with what's
happening right now cuz you have, this is just the
beginning. Yeah, sure. Pilots are so upset about the election
results, they staged a sick out 11 months later. Ladies and
gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It's a bony 78
degrees in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, we won't be
going there because Democrats stole the election We'll just
be circling here 20 miles west of Newark until Joe Biden is
removed by the cyber ninjas. At this point, Trump could see
anything and think it's about his election loss. I was at
Kroger the other day and they were out of avocados. They
said, they said the drivers of the avocado delivery trucks
were walking out in protest because the election was
rigged. Avocados, we love avocados, don't we fool? It's
just like the classic song, you say avocado, I say avocado. I
never had the first time I had one. I was at a Trader Joe's
and I said to the manager, how much? How much for one of your
precious green dinosaur eggs? And she said to me, she said to
me, tears in her eyes. She said, sir, that is a
single-seated tropical fruit. These Southwest conspiracy
theories are such a shame too because if you ask me, there's
really only one big takeaway from the Southwest Debacle.
You're off the hook, Sprint. Sprint. Sal. Sal, just ADR, ADR in
spirit for sprint and then take out. You're off the hook
spirit. You're no longer the go-to joke
airlines over at Spirit Headquarters. They're popping
champagne. Of course, they're tiny air paint. It's gonna take
a second to get back on track, of course. Of course, it's
spirit. We're gonna get you back with this really, there's
a really good joke coming. It's a I don't wanna put too
much on it but it's a sound effect joke. And I'm telling
you right now, it's gonna save what's happened to this closer.
Of course, it's spirit, there are tiny airplane bottles of
champagne. So, when you pop them, it sounds like this. Oh, gotta start listening to
the sound effects before the show. Either way, spirit is
psyched to be like if five guys got caught. You're like a five
guys guts. Either way, spirit is psyched to be like if five
guys got caught selling horse burgers, everyone at Arby's
would be like, it's our time now. Anyway, what was I saying?
The modern GOP is a male stream of authoritarian impulses and
unhinged conspiracy theories. Sure sounds like something I'd
say. For example, my pillow CEO Mike Lindell was on Steve
Bannon's podcast earlier this week and said he wants to get
as many as 25 states to participate in his sham
election audits to prove that Trump actually won. Getting all
these states on board, we've got right now upwards of nine.
I wanna get at least 25 on board and when I say before
Thanksgiving. We are bringing the case to them before
Thanksgiving, everybody. Now, whether they accept it or not,
it's up to the supreme court. I really believe that it'll be,
it'll be nine zero that they accept the case and then when
we bring it, all the evidence we dump it there. Why do you
why do you think, hang on, hang on, slow down. What is Mike
Lindell got? That's gonna convince them just to even take
it up. Forget how they're gonna rule. Just even take it up. The
evidence of an attack that who have a foreign country on our
country, a cyber attack are the biggest historical crime in
history. Everybody can see the manifestation of that right
now. Dude, you have a microphone. Why do you always
yell like you stopped your car too far away from the
drive-thru speaker? And you know what's bad when Steve
Bannon is telling you to slow down with your conspiracy
theories? That's like DJ Khaled telling you to cool it with the
air horn. Also, I love that Bannon who definitely thinks of
himself as a brilliant tactician and evil genius has
to team up with the pillow dope. His podcast is gonna get
sued for copyright infringement by the makers of Pinky and the
Brain. It's like Nick Fury had to put together The Avengers
but the only heroes he could find were visible man in the
human porch. That one was mine. But I do
appreciate Lindell's confident prediction that the Supreme
Court is gonna accept his case 9 to nothing. It makes it extra
fun to see him crash and burn. It's like if Babe Ruth had
called a shot and then instead of hitting a home run he struck
out, barfed on home plates, slipped on the bar, farted, and
split his pants. Oh no, who are we kidding? That definitely
happened a few times, right? Also, why are you so intent on
getting it done by Thanksgiving? You were saying
Trump was gonna be back in office by August. Now,
Thanksgiving is your new deadline. We're bringing the
case to them before Thanksgiving so we can
reinstate Donald Trump in time to eat some turkey. And watch
the Bears take on the Lions. And while Bannon is busy
spitballing bad conspiracy theories with the pillow
dingus. He's also obstructing the congressional investigation
of the January 6th insurrection by defying a subpoena from the
committee and now, the committee is moving to pursue
possible criminal charges to hold him accountable. Breaking
news in the investigation into the January 6th capital attack.
The House Select Committee just announced that they will move
to hold former Trump adviser Steve Bannon in criminal
contempt for refusing to comply with his subpoena. We have
engaged with a wide variety of law enforcement offices
including the US Marshals in order to issue the subpoenas
and we will use everything as you said with all due respect.
We will use all of the agencies and all of the tools at our
disposal to issue the subpoenas and then enforce them. If
witnesses do not show up, we will hold them in criminal
contempt. We will vote them in contempt in the house and we
refer them for prosecution. So, they might arrest Steve Bannon
Again? Bannon already looks like he got pulled out of bed
in the middle of the night by US Marshals. I feel like if
they kicked in his door, they'd take one look at him and say,
oh, is someone here already? Bannon already got arrested
once and pardoned by Trump although from looking at him,
you'd think he'd escape Shawshank style. If the feds
are looking for Bannon, I can tell you where to find him. He
looks like the dude illegally selling pet iguanas on the
boardwalk at Venice Beach. Oh, this one's named Ricky. He
could sniff your salad dressing to see if there's vaccine
hidden inside. Bannon is to find the January 6th
investigation but his former employer Trump still wants an
investigation into the 2020 election to somehow prove his
repeatedly disproven conspiracy theories about the election and
now, he's basically telling Republican voters, don't go to
the polls unless GOP politicians get on board with
his lies. Former President Donald Trump is sending a clear
message to Republicans, don't vote. In a statement yesterday,
the former president urged his supporters to focus on the last
election instead. Writing this, If we don't solve the
presidential election fraud of 2020, which we have thoroughly
and conclusively documented, Republicans will not be voting
in 22 or 24. It is the single most important thing for
Republicans to do. I do like that Trump is constantly making
life difficult for Republicans. You just wanna use them to win
power. Sorry, you guys bought a ticket on this train wreck and
now you can't get off. It's kinda like when your spouse
makes you go horseback riding and you say sure thinking it'll
take 20 minutes and not realizing it's a three-hour
trail with no lunch breaks and the horse hates you and stops
every 15 minutes to take a dump. This is the GOP, a party
obsessed with unhinged conspiracy theories. For
example, earlier this week, South Carolina Senator Lindsey
Graham made this totally incomprehensible claim about
migrants crossing the southern border. We had 40, 000
Brazilians come to the Yuma sector alone headed for
Connecticut wearing designer clothes and Gucci bags. This is
not economic migration anymore. People see an open America.
They've taken advantage of us. I'm asking this in all
sincerity. What are you talking about? Brazilians headed to
Connecticut with designer clothes and Gucci bags. Are you
confusing the southern border with an episode of The Real
Housewives? That? That sounded like a random string of
nonsense words. You sound like Siri after someone dropped
their iPhone in the toilet. Siri, what are the lyrics to We
Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel? Designer clothes without
the tags Brazilians wearing Gucci bags. Thank you. Did you
know if you saw the dangers of Trump and the whirlwind of lies
and conspiracy theories around him and tried to use him to
ride back into power but now, they're facing the consequences
of that decision. Trump's accolade are facing possible
criminal charges for defying subpoenas and Trump is still
spreading. That seemed early. Was that a little? Maybe a
little early? I mean, we still did sound
effects without an audience. I don't know. I don't think, I
don't think people at home will notice. Next, next, he's gonna
claim they're hiding votes in salad dressing. This has been a
closer look. God's Love We Deliver cooks and
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