BallFondler Lore - Jerma Powerwash Simulator (Sponsored) Stream Edit

[Music] so today as you're probably uh recognizing we've got a sponsor segment today this is power wash simulator if you remember i played this game about a year ago and what do you know this shit's in 1.0 it's out i think actually literally today like right now and so since a year ago i think they've added a lot of [ __ ] to the game so we'll see what they have all right let's go we have the same shirt as yesterday no what the the shirt i had on yesterday was black this is a gray shirt how would this this is the shirt i had on yesterday this is gray you're unclean well yeah maybe i could use a power washing all right so what what did i do last time all right i wait did i not finish this i i i took a power washing job a year ago and i did half the house i just left and then i called the same uh the same family a year later and i go hey uh you think i could come back and finish that job that i did halfway the same price of course you were doing a bit the last time you played what was the bit i was doing oh my god i hope nobody was at the front door this is like a laser it was oh yeah it was all dogs talk like scooby doo that was a [ __ ] year ago i felt like that was last weekend i was that was that long ago that's the best part by the way that's the best part right here when you see all the dirt just fly everywhere and it turns into this like brown sewer water looking stuff oh my god i love it 43 recycled joke how's that that's not a recycled joke what are you talking about recycled joke you don't remember what i said a year ago okay and by the way how is that a joke that's me saying i like something you know like i'm not ordering food at a restaurant with you and it's like oh what do you want man what do you want to eat uh dude i think i'm doing the uh like i don't think i'm just gonna go with like the turkey club what are you really gonna order though i'm ordering a turkey i like turkey sandwiches it's cool dude stop stop this [ __ ] bit and order a tuna sandwich what are you what are you talking about change stance wait wait wait wait wait wait change stance what does that mean oh wait there there are three stances okay i one of them's crouched the other one is lie down i'm proning crawling right now i'm just crawling around just looking out the window you see like a guy like let's go just proning and like this is a different person's house what the hell happened wait what um excuse me you've sponsored the power wash and you can't do it i think i'm doing just fine this is like one of those ads for mobile games where the person in the ad is like insanely incompetent so you want to download the game just to show that you can actually do it unlike the dumbass in the ad but that's so unfair well then go get it then go get it it's on it's on xbox it's on steam right now it's on [ __ ] game pass look at it that's so unfair though you know why that's unfair because in those mobile game ads and trust me i've seen millions of them i've seen millions of those ads i play all i do is play ipad games you understand that they it's usually like oh no there's a fire what do we do to put the fire out and there's two options pop up on screen here and here and one of them is a fire extinguisher and the other one is like a golf club and it's they try to drag the golf club up on the fire i'm not doing that here i'm i'm not doing that if i had a golf club in my hands and i was hitting the side of this house then i would understand your point the golf club is your brain you know what's actually really funny about about mobile ads now i think we've talked about this a little bit but there's a there's a game that i see ads for all the time now and it's like aren't you getting sick and tired of those ads that show the slide the puzzle game and it's never in the game we have that in our [ __ ] game we actually have that all these like posers all it's so funny and you know what i they must be pissed they must be pissed off because they actually have this slide the puzzle watch out for the fire and get the gold game right and everybody else caught just is doing that in their ads and they just have to sit there and go that's our game we actually have that in the video game they don't it's been debunked no i know but my point is that there are companies right now i'm getting ads right now of of somebody literally saying hey those ads are [ __ ] aren't they i know we have that game it's not fair i swear i promise you but they don't have it either what it's not in that game either hold on a minute but uh you how you can't how you i don't know about that i feel like that's inaccurate you can't make an ad stating hey guys aren't you sick and tired of those ads that show that game and it's not in the game download rs ours is in there and it's not in there what that no no way dude why doesn't somebody just make one of those just make a slide the puzzle game and then you can be the savior the hero of the mobile game ad world you know what i mean just make one god i you know i'm just thinking about this right now um would i say that there's an engineer move in tf2 okay let's slow me down i just slow down okay let me rephrase that and say what i wanted to say a tf2 weapon as a power washer would actually be pretty fun this should be a grenade why are you seriously making me contemplate if that would work soap and water in the grenade well hire the cleaning service yeah you think i just shows up he's got like [ __ ] grenades on him he's just like yeah i'm ready everybody if we could get out out of the house that'd be great everybody leaves okay so what's the dirtiest from the house bedroom okay just like this is just soap it just the bedroom's destroyed you you walk out phil phil's like in his car it's doing like some paperwork and it's like oh thanks for coming phil and he's like yeah yeah it's all good hold on a second i just got to clean my car you're looking you're like yeah your car's looking a little dirty phil i don't worry about it i got it he just steps out he just throws a grenade in the car and it's just cartoon just the car just goes like he goes to turn the car on [Music] hey look hey look buddy uh i think i could borrow your car for a few hours i've got a few more i got a few more of these jobs water c4 would you just set him up around the whole house what are you talking about that's splatoon yeah but nobody's going i can't do this on camera cause i look weird do you know the exact thing i was gonna do everybody knows the exact sound effects i was just gonna do all of you we don't care we want it all right mods run a poll please if it gets at least eighty percent with at least five thousand votes i'll do the noise i'll do the thing that everyone wants me to do will you play splatoon with i don't i don't i couldn't play splatoon i don't know why something about it just i just i kind of just didn't i didn't get it i know i completely understand but the counter you know i it kind of just triggered old memories of playing tony hawk with friends and it was that mode where if you did a trick on something it would change to their color i i remember just doing really well and just like boom orange boom orange but boom orange orange and i had the whole and then i would turn around for five seconds and my my [ __ ] friend has got like a two million point combo going and he runs over every single thing i did and i just turn around it's all blue and it's like why am i playing the game so i that's why i don't like that's just splatoon for me all right let's see 80 at least over has to be over 80 percent and it has to be at least 5 000 votes somebody just said dude it takes two clicks to vote come on guys and there's some some of you just sitting there leaning back just like nope all right doing that i don't care what the [ __ ] 95 are you kidding me i thought this is impossible okay well there you go [Music] what all right oh no it's tony hawk we went down there to enjoy a smoky sunset and jenny saw a ufo why am i part of this group text don't [ __ ] group text me i'm so sick of this [ __ ] happening stop group texting people don't pull you know what the dumbest [ __ ] thing i can't even understand how this was ever a thing you cannot leave a group text if there's people with iphone and android why can't you just leave why can't you just leave just leave i don't want to keep getting pulled in people just be sitting there talking about a bunch of [ __ ] and then at some point hey uh jeremy what do you thought and i'm just like i don't want to tell them that i've had this whole conversation on mute for six or seven straight weeks i don't hate text people i don't hate whatever i just hate telephones i just hate phones you know what you know let me tell you something some of you kids you know back back in the day like you know that everybody has the phone now everybody will see everything they ever say you know what i mean even if you don't have read receipts on at least once or twice at least three four potential times a day people know that people all look at their phones at least a few times a day so there's no way you didn't see my text right there's no way you didn't get my phone call see back in the day everyone had a landline and it would be as simple as [Music] [Laughter] i don't care i'm not answering that phone and then it was implied that you just need to support home or sometimes you'd pick the phone up hello hi is uh is is is jeremy there and uh no no he's not here okay thanks easy now everybody has a phone everybody knows you have that phone everybody knows i have everybody knows you have a phone so you can't like i'm so i am very notorious for just not responding for a long [ __ ] time and it's not that i don't care it's just like oh there's like i don't know what to do i don't know what to say i know you can set up like dnd right like do not disturb and i don't know shouldn't we all collectively have this message that we all agree on right everyone has a message that's like a it's a separate dnd box that you check and it's just like look i'm just kind of don't [ __ ] give a [ __ ] right now like i like i don't really like want to answer phone calls or i guess that's what you know like like a separate like less not like serious dandy like i just kind of don't care like right now i'm maybe like i'll get back in a few days so if i get that we all agree on that text right it's like it's signed into like a congress gets it they sign a bill and she's like all right like we all know that that's like all right whatever i'll talk to in a few days no one actually cares this much if you don't respond you know what that's that's pretty accurate but still though i i never want people to think i don't care but like sometimes i'll get a text and then i'll have like kathy mitchell on the ipad and it's just like i [ __ ] but i don't even know i uh uh and for some reason my brain says just press play again and just relax it sucks i hate it because in my brain in my my i don't know maybe maybe i'm maybe i'm weird but to me putting on like dnd to me and like sending a dnd automatic response back to somebody is almost like a okay automatic response not gonna even text me back i get like an auto responder generated message just leave an outline of the ladder that would be so stupid don't walk out of the ladder don't i'll throw a [ __ ] salt behind me i'll be fine i'm asking a question okay if i walked through the ladder but i walked backwards through the ladder does that does that negate it is that like you said okay you went back you undo does that is that an undo no okay so if i go through the ladder then i take salt and i go like that wait wrong shoulder like that would that undo going through the ladder no it doesn't it's the salt has no effect so what would negate going underneath the ladder nothing just literally nothing you can do i feel like there's something you can do you don't it does that's not how it works what's wrong with going under a ladder somebody tell them somebody tell that somebody tell that guy somebody tell them it's a hundred years bad luck so if you walked under a ladder broke a mirror threw salt over your left shoulder um opened up an umbrella clothes that opened up an umbrella did you just get struck by lightning right after doing that it's a cheat code you thought dirt and grime could hide from me this is where it shows a bunch of animated dirt and they're all hiding under the railing well he'll never get us here we're caked on algae and then it bless our washers use the strongest nozzles able to take six coats of paint off our nozzles are so strong we can turn steel back to its original element iron and copper it splits the atoms or whatever it does what wait what is it what is steel carbon [ __ ] i [ __ ] that whole joke up you know what i mean though iron and copper i've been playing too many mobile games guys it's one bar of copper one bar of iron and you put them together and it turns into steel don't steal that joke there's a bunch hold on there's a [ __ ] little people here that don't know me really hey do you guys know don't steal that joke i'm gonna do it did you guys know that every day you eat over an inch of dirt every meal every single day and then insane did you know that you eat over an inch of dirt every single day it's crazy isn't that like kind of gross it's that's a weird statistic don't you think i mean you got to be sitting at a table you got to be at least a few inches off the ground eating that food don't you what's the joke that is the joke are you not listening somebody wrote in all caps what are you talking about i don't know how it is is it really this hard to follow this conversation i just made shrimp grits in your honor i mean hopefully it's good i don't really like shrimp that much and i don't really like ritz ungrateful he made it for you i'm not eating it i have nothing to do with this you could be the the most talented little pizza crafter in the world if somebody doesn't like pizza they're not gonna really want to eat pizza that doesn't mean that you're not gonna have a very delicious dish in front of you you really might what's that term like bad pizza is still good pizza no it isn't yeah hey man we guys are hey bad pizzas like sex and it still sex right then they take the grease and they put like a droplets of grease in their eyes i actually eat junky pizza all the time i actually love shitty pizza so please do not take this joke as a reality but still though sometimes you get a pizza that sucks so bad and everyone's just like well who cares i mean it was still 18 what's wrong with you seriously oh yeah i get that question a lot but i don't even know what that what do you mean i'm just sitting here and just talking nonsense just hanging out yeah some of you guys act like i i eat like bugs after the stream's over i just kind of hang out i do my thing wait for some reason i think a lot of you guys think i do oh yeah oh here it is my dinner oh the whole plate of cockroaches uh that doesn't happen i'm just i'm just a regular guy no dude i think he eats bugs no i don't in fact i'm one of those people that you know the oh look it's the bug in the popsicle novelty item i would never eat that i don't want that i would never eat one of those people always point to a tweet that i made in like 2013 where i made a joke tweet about eating i mean i i swallowed a bug and i was like okay that was weird i should tweet about it and i'm like oh it's the greatest thing i've ever tasted uh what do i do about this that was clearly a joke tweet from like 2012. and people point to that they're like oh he's [ __ ] crazy but you know what i'm talking about the they're in the kind of golden almost like amber i wouldn't eat one of those it's uh there's usually a worm in it or sometimes just some kind of other scary bug in it no those are not lollipops i find like these ancient stones in the ground i don't understand why people eat these i don't get it uh no dude that's a million year old fossil don't put that in your mouth will you eat bugs for the fans no would you eat a bug for the haters no i'm not eating any bugs then that's where that conversation ends i'm not gonna eat bugs for the haters bugs for the fans i'm not eating bugs i wouldn't eat bugs if my if like my mother asked me to talk about my biggest fan what about a doctor i would feel like i was getting pranked i what do you mean the doctor comes into the office and he's like oh jeremy okay you have a headache and uh you know it's time i can cure that for you you have to eat four cockroaches in front of me while i hold up a [ __ ] cell phone with tick-tock open what if he ate them in front of you first i don't care that's all that's the best of whatever weird [ __ ] he's doing i have nothing to do with that so he comes in the room and he's just like okay so we'll take a look at your blood work and he's just crazy he's just eating meta's pocket yeah your uh your your uh hdl cholesterol is a little high uh your ldl is okay but you know and then he goes like this after talking about my blood results i don't know what does the doctor look like is he like six feet tall like 200 lean cut is it how does he look like does he have flowing hair and he comes up with his license and he's like look 60. 60. and it's he and he looks [ __ ] amazing i don't know maybe i'd have to think about it and he's so fit he just got done cycling and he's got cycling shorts on and a lab coat stop sharing your fantasy so so my fantasy is this wicked handsome doctor in bike shorts comes in and we eat bugs together and have a romantic relationship of some kind this is what you think my a fantasy of mine is hold on you're missing an incredibly important detail he rides his bike down the hall of the doctor's office you know the door is open i can see out into the hallway and he's he just slowly pulls up on his bike it's a huge mountain bike and he gets off man kickstand goes up and then he comes in right that's perfect and he's still got he's got he's got the helmet on this [ __ ] music [Music] what is playing right now why is this playing ugh just gotta just got done with a quick bike ride kickstand comes in just like sweat just glistening off his forehead so what brings you in today well i have a little bit of a headache uh it's kind of like a migraine ass kind of deal i got going on here one second takes the bike helmet off and just tear just it's a [ __ ] it's it's like at least 16 to 20 inches here it pulls up the license 60 by the way and i'm like oh wow look at that crazy that's why you got what i had a hair yeah i haven't had a headache by the way in a long time different music you want to eat some bugs the music changed and changed everything this is bug music now why is this music perfect for all this going on what the [ __ ] is happening this streamer is looking goofy that person left and then not coming back ever and they'll probably always remember that time when it was like hey you should check out this guy germa he's funny i like him and he's like i'm yeah i mean i went to his stream and i'm not i'm not a fan this guy's so crazy he's like such a wow that was so weird what he did did you he did like a goofy laugh to this guy i have a funny story about him think of water and soap so my mother visited here at one time this is i don't know i'd say was i don't remember exactly but it was like last year at some point and my mother watches the channel sometimes so she came over and she you know was making references to the streams and hey yeah so you know like look at me and stuff and i'm like oh my god you watched you actually watch the streams so she start she started to like understand twitch lingo and started to use andy and the reason why i'm saying this is because um holly was was washing her hands like very very lightly right so she's washing her hands and my mother comes over to her and goes oh wow so bandy then she had never said anything andy before this she called holly soap andy because holly used like a two pumps of soap and we just started cracking up we were like holy [ __ ] oh no it was like honest to god it was probably one of the cutest just most adorable things i've ever heard it was just so funny like she had just learned the lingo she's like i gotta i got an opportunity to use it i saw two or three pumps of soap there so bandy she's a hate watcher she just hates everything i'm doing that'd be so funny really really bad stream today really not happy with what what you were saying but it wasn't it wasn't funny you know i minus two the most i've ever minus tood being your chat i didn't raise you like that i raised you to be have a plus twos jeremy german sexy doctor sitting in a skate park e-a-t-i-n bugs why did you read that because it was funny are you questioning me reading messages in chat i read a chat message that said i said i was gonna shove a baseball up my ass there's no i'm you know that's gonna get you banned right but um doesn't mean i'm not gonna read it and be shocked by it i keep that lives rent-free in my head you have no idea you guys have no idea i've said it yesterday it's rent-free every day i think about somebody just typing out oh no yeah i do let me help you out here oh you're like a new viewer yeah let me help you he's gonna shove a whole baseball up his ass that's the baseball stream there's so much there's so many layers to why that's funny so many it's one of the funniest things i've ever heard probably in chat because there's so much of it going on there i keep hyping it up man on the baseball stream man be ready it's gonna be me putting a baseball in my ass and i'm hyping it up for months and months and months and months in a pr like in a baseball field or even not well am i just here that's what makes me laugh so much is i'm the baseball stream oh he's gonna play baseball no it's me in this chair putting a baseball in my ass you understand how much is going on here and why why would i hype that up so much hey guys hey bro yeah welcome to the baseball stream it's time get hype it's the baseball stream i've been talking about this for a long time you know the stream where i shove a baseball up my ass it's like what the [ __ ] why would and that person's banned from the channel right the mods like please police refreshment remember that person has been permanently banned from this from german 985 right they are permanently banned they they're never they're they're not allowed here ever again oh the way they weren't no they're all saying i don't know look up and see if they have perma man wait a minute hold on this person has been unbanned and they asked if i was going to play world of warcraft the other day germa played world of warcraft from ball fondler yeah yeah average wow player um what is it what are you applying what are you implying with that no you're making it live rent-free my brain again i'm seeing the original messages dude what the [ __ ] this guy should be banned like permanently okay how many times have they said this how many times have they said this wait a minute how many times have they said this this is the hold on the rabbit hole just got deeper this is [ __ ] unbelievable hold on so here this is this is the original comment that lives rent-free in my brain forever it's the funniest [ __ ] comment i've ever heard [Laughter] what the [ __ ] i don't think i can show this on stream i don't know i could i can't show that on stream that's gonna get me in trouble not dutch is this guy i can't show the rest of these but he goes on he goes on oh my god he goes he goes on to say how many baseballs you think you'll be able to do at germa985 what the [ __ ] his it's pretty gruesome okay you know what i bet he's gonna do vocal warm-ups oh mega lull plucking his asshairs for the baseball stream this guy's gonna get this guy's gonna get snapped this guy's getting thanos snapped right now this person this person's just been out there we've been with this person's been out there in the wild i did not know that ball fondle that paul fondler had that much of a track record i did not know i thought he had that one comment and then was talking about world of warcraft oh my god it's it's [ __ ] funny i don't even care it just is all right we got to move on but that what a saga that is that is unbelievably funny all right i'm gonna wrap it up i will see you guys on sunday i'll see you sunday

Channel: Cheltie

Views: 194,629

Keywords: jerma985, jerma highlights, jerma stream, jerma, stream highlights, highlights, stream, jerma funny joke, twitch, streamer, twitch streamer, highlight, Livestream, video games, jerma powerwash simulator, powerwash simulator

Id: cYo9sdCW9jI

Length: 29min 11sec (1751 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 15 2022