Cooking Jermama

push the remote okay right to four or carefully to make sure it doesn't overflow okay careful careful [Music] i good oh if we turn into a muffin mama it's okay try harder did i lose i got a new recipe oh grilled cheese slider [Music] a little bit this is where mom doesn't ask you to do this again this is where you peel the carrot to a point with is like a toothpick worth of carrot it just turns into this like skinny little shitty thing because you peeled off the skin and you peeled off all the actual [Music] vegetables [Music] stir fry this all right to add to the pan select icons with the a button move the wii mote toward and away from you to prevent burning when the when two circles your press finished so we just like just this is how you pretend to be a chef if you ever want someone to think that you're interesting yeah let's say you have a date and somebody's like oh wait you can cook you like i could i can cook i can cook just hear it listen to me put spinach a little bit of spinach in a pan a little bit of like olive oil and just like while they're in the room with you it's it'll it'll work every time put like some green beans some bell peppers some onions and like a little bit of like of other water-based vegetables and just shake it like yeah i know what i'm doing this is the i pretend to know how to cook string all right let's put this up with the bacon in onions green beans carrots potatoes any matter let me just do this [Music] what was wrong with that underdone i didn't finish it what was undercooked what stew stir rotate the wii remote you put everything in at the same time yeah that's what i'm saying that's how you press your date everything just goes through this and it makes like a and then they just think you know what you're doing i did it and then you date you present this to them and they go and by the way use a shitload of time but like it doesn't matter if the recipe calls for it but like half the bottle of the spice of the buy spice bottle of thyme into the bottle like into the soup it just will smell like oh what aromas and when you bring it it'll fill the house with this time smell and it's like holy this person look at this it smells delicious in here just make sure they don't eat it like get fake a phone call oh what's that oh yeah yeah yeah yeah wait you want to meet us at 21 beef whatever the restaurant is oh yeah sure and then you hang up hey tony i thought we ended up we got a big dinner with some friends and then you go in there and you just pretend that you got blown off by your friends and enjoy a nice dinner with your date [Music] [Music] you wanna know something funny about me in my life i i can't eat i don't i don't do eggs i don't know how to do them i don't know how to open them awesome oh every time i've tried it just goes like it's all over my hands and [Music] [Music] what did i just knock it over i just i just watched everything and just dumped it onto the counter all right pound the mochi move the wheel up and down to pound the rice take care not to accidentally hit your hand there's no hand mama i'm sorry [Music] twice before [Music] foreign you're gonna go to the darkness office like this [Music] bruises oh this is so bad should i do the scrambled eggs i know you see oh i thought it was scrambled eggs it's scrambled eggs i make a really good scrambled egg what i do is i panic when i get the eggs into the pan and i freak out because i don't want to undo them and i end up overdoing them by about five straight minutes but they like brown all over so i make a pretty mean scrambled egg it's gonna stick right there we're gonna get it all before the time runs out [Music] let's go read a bunch of books good idea increase your smarts all right we move on to this next one oh shrimp and chili sauce [Music] pierogi popcorn of the united states ooh what do we have oh we have like lots of great italian and french cuisine minestrone oh this is japanese mochi oh france scrambled eggs what do we have from america popcorn another classic american dish the hot dog why is classic american food food for toddlers [Music] a classic american hot dog chopped up a bunch popcorn macaroni and cheese [Music] look we're gonna get another thing with an american flag that's like cheerios and you just have to pick them up like a baby just eat them one by one on like one of those toddler dishes [Music] well what's a classic american food diner food hey but that's not like that's [Music] diner food is just a place that's like a genre of the restaurant style that's not like classic american recipe diner n a doesn't have much distinctive because it's all brought from other countries yeah but i mean like barbecue like a smoked barbecue brisket that's that's pretty american no it isn't what are you talking about [Music] awesome if you get smoked barbecue brisket from america it's gonna be better than anywhere else on earth it's a fact literally any chef on earth will tell you that some of the best chefs in the world will tell you that the best barbecue is in what america does barbecue better than america i'm sorry like we like oh americans popcorn but i'm going to defend america when i need to like barbecue american barbecue is better than anywhere else on the planet like what are you talking about come on he's a patriot i like eating smoked meat america's got some really good food i mean yes you could eat like chicken tenders and like pizza hut every day but like that i mean that's like the joke right like americans they eat pizza on hot dogs and mac and cheese they do we do i do [Music] go fully [Music] squid disgusting they're they like slimy tendril aliens no never i'm sorry i why would why do people eat that it's squid it's octopus no no and i like them and their legs they have something you eat like octopus legs they're like a suction cups and they're long and they like no no no no no no no no no never i just like imagine it like like suck it in my lip and maybe like drop my lip it's my lip and like kim has to reach over and like pull it off oh i'm taking it off calamari yeah sure okay i will eat a piece of calamari and be like oh that's mmm that was good that was kind of good it was a little salty i but when people pick up when people pick up the the piece of calamari that's like when you launch a grenade launcher at an alien in a video game and it's like spread out and all like it's like it looks like this looks like that and it's fried up no and it's like the legs nope all right hold up hold it horizontal and move it as though you are turning the handle i already did the the jack in the box how much of this do i have to put on i don't want this much cheese on my hot dog [Music] not bad keep going decorate it this is american cuisine make a hot dog and then be it at the fridays with a placemat as a four-year-old and draw with a crayon all over the place man okay that's a mustard that's a mustard sandwich [Music] with a handle that's a hot dog you pick that up buy the hot dog and eat that that's a reverse corn dog [Music] double cheeseburger american we're doing all the american stuff first because i'm american and i'm going to tell you that how correct it is this is a double cheeseburger why is that to be a double why does it have to be a double i don't get it why can't it just be one single cheeseburger what are you saying to all americans that you get double cheeseburgers mcdoubles every time they go to the restaurant we do you all do was last time anyone ordered a single hamburger from like mcdonald's i mean like a like a regular just cheeseburger i'm not even sure they make those anymore because people don't order them yeah that's a special order now to get a single cheeseburger that you have to like pull around and park in one of the parking spaces because they're not ready for that oh this is gonna make quite a few hamburgers uh it looks like the whole baseball team is coming over mama because this is like this is like 15 hamburgers why is it so dirty why are they like bugs at the restaurant nutmeg [Music] mama why are you making me guess mama i appreciate the fact that you're using one of those old toys from the early 90s that how you take the magnet and give the guy a beard but get it off my screen please put back on medium heat flip it over again [Music] this is huge who is this hamburger for this hamburger is a pancake i know who's gonna eat this this is a challenge burger this is not a hamburger that you eat in a restaurant all right when the oil reaches the correct temperature add ingredients tilt them to coat them in the oil quickly coat twice then finish [Music] quickly coat twice and then finish i'm just okay look it may have been raw but i'm following the direction if that was on the back of of like the blue apron card quickly coat twice and then take them out i'd be like okay i idiot i just follow the instructions i don't know what the i'm doing fish and chips all right let's make the fish what the this is oh i killed him i killed him [Music] this your account is too small for this mama i'm not gonna fillet an entire swordfish in my home kitchen oh my goodness [Music] i thought it was cod this is inexpensive fish and chips [Music] swordfish why would you fries hold on why would you fry swordfish [Music] that's not gonna cook it's gonna be fun you don't put swordfish in a fryer lighter [Music] it's too thick and no you can't do that he lost to fish and chips oh mega lol america the united states of america what's on tap from our favorite dish [Music] i think it's a little further south i mean i love i love taco tacos burritos some of my favorite foods in the world but um like george washington didn't make it up yes he did oh yeah one of my favorite things george washington ben franklin one of my favorite things he invented uh was this was the burrito oh i know this is my back of my mouth right now right here like right here is it's just it's activating it's activating right now i like that matt you know like that that like that smell that taco meat smell it's activating oh it's like in here like back here [Music] my teeth hurt right now i gotta go to the dentist it's a lizard and no i sat like glands yes my glands have been activated because i just smelt that and it was like into my nose into the sinuses activate glands glands are now producing endorphins and serotonin to my brain my brain's saying go get this right now it's good put your head over the pan to smell and then that's going all the way down to my stomach my stomach goes [Music] okay you're making we're not at subway okay this is not how many cheese triangles i would put in okay uh where's the meat where's the meat where's the onions [Music] why can't i just put it in that's that's a joke that's a that's how i have a friend that works at subway and yeah don't worry i'll give you like six more one triangles those dumplings i love dumplings i love dumplings there's this place in paris forget the name of the restaurant but there's a place in paris that does they have a cart that moves by the paris no no well then hold on paris casino in vegas not like i went to paris and had steamed pork buns there's a place in paris that does really really good uh steamed dumpling [Music] yeah i got the best dumplings ever in paris france this rich streamer goes to france no i went to pretend france in las vegas he's blowing all the bits on dumplings what if i was what if i was blowing all the bits on on delicious dumplings what if i was would you rather write would you rather i use it on drugs pineapple sucks pineapples are my second favorite fruit pineapple has uh bromelain in it like oh my god oh holy i can't believe this guy knows what that is i thought he was just an idiot and i do not need dough and cooking mama randy smith apples to guard to your green apples green apples are better than red apples i love the little sauce in macintosh apples you can just eat them they did this so the flesh is so mushy and so easy to bite through i don't like eating apples because i have to cut them up and carve them up and no i like i want to eat it with my hand and a lot of times when i eat an apple it's like ow ow this hurts this hurts and you and i use my bottom teeth to like go in harder it hurts i don't want to do that well get away from me because i go violent you're not mine oh i can't okay i fish that i can't i've ate my adhd let's use that as an excuse for literally everything i've ever done in my whole life my entire life fine dining [Music] that plate was 180 bucks you shave it into strips you idiot why didn't mama not do that that was an inch and a half thick cut [Music] who's the i'm the idiot i'm sure it's not mama's instructions and mama's bad recipe you consume it as an enema [Music] i should go to a restaurant oh yeah i'll take the bonito how's your bonito is is it any good well yeah it's one of our more famous dishes you're like i'm not sure but let me just get an opinion here you look over there's a guy like two tables over who's like hey guys how's the bonito fantastic okay it's too salty ah it's just perfectly perfectly seasoned oh yeah i'll try the bonito thoughts on the democratic debate and turn it [Music] god it's like sucks being the real guy you know what i mean like i don't want to up everybody's food at the party but i'm not qualified to be over here i'm the only one that said i just raised my hand when somebody said hey who can get on the grill oh there's like 100 people here that i could poison it's great put me on [Music] don't eat that one no no no no don't eat that one go to the trash further out of the trash that's like i took the salt shaker i'm gonna put some salt on and the whole thing comes out like the shitty prank somebody pranked me [Music] this is i don't know i would i don't know if i like this weird like cartoon serve as much as you like isn't it just the brick i'm trying to make it actually presenting [Music] yeah it does look like fancy feast somebody said cat food it looks like when you turn the can just fancy feasts and they have that big huge like white fuzzy ass cat that they don't show on that commercial is a fancy face your cat is going to love you and it's like oh into like the goblet in the cats like but they don't show is the is the mom going up more hair in my mouth there's like hair all over my mouth they don't show that part yeah they didn't show they don't show the mom walking over with the tray a fancy feast [Music] okay here you go honey aren't there better ways to do this [Music] don't they make a machine don't just put it in the machines i gotta go off camp [Music] yes i can hide yes i can chewing up potatoes and spitting them into a bowl and you do that for like eight different potatoes holy oh my god what is this this was just saved here instead of the thing that i was trying to do

Channel: 2ndJerma

Views: 353,910

Rating: 4.9687352 out of 5

Keywords: jerma, jerma985, stream, highlight, cooking mama, cook off, cooking, cook, cooking mama cook off

Id: PR06j0b0aSQ

Length: 24min 52sec (1492 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 11 2020