Baldurs Gate 3 TRAUMATIZED me!

[Music] okay okay I get it I'll play balers Gate 3 but not for too long since I still have some work that I need to complete warning the journey you are about to embark on may be offensive to some viewers the following story contains Gore violence sexual harassment mostly committed by a man to his guy friend it's not gay anyone who cried during the Titanic should cease from viewing this film as it contains intense moments between friends such as betrayals stealing religious conversions Crusades and oiling up your bro under the Christmas tree for anyone susceptible to epileptic seizures or dark humor the following Motion Picture may not be for you your discretion is advised being arrested for theft if you have a defense make it uh guys I'm being arrested yep that's me you're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation well let me take you on a journey through my past to the current future I am a high elf wizard named Adolf elfler who is known throughout the world as a creative artist and author my most famous book which you may have heard of called Mind Magics which is a Manifesto detailing my ideologies concerning the supremacy of the High Elves over other races reached worldwide Renown after the world learned of the atrocities I committed to non- Elvish folk in the countries of Elvin and trand after I inevitably failed my conquest of the world I was kindly woken up by tadpool on a strange foreign ship I was told he and I would be traveling together from now on so we had to come to an agreement concerning our living condition we eventually compromised that he would be allowed to live in my brain rentree so long as he doesn't pry into my memories for his own safety my companions who were lucky enough to be forced into a party with me consist of a tolerable wood elf named fur the fleet footed who can best even the fastest snails in any race up to 200 M and A ganki named Tarth who has some questionable morals as a cleric but I'm sure there'll be no issues later on after talking to a brain tumor and convincing two chicks to befriend us we worked together with Squidward in order to defeat the demons controlling the ship we finished doing God's work and took control of the Mayflower altering its course to the Free World unfortunately Tarth made a blunder and left the steering to shadowart who did not have driving proficiency so we ended up making a quick pit stop to my surprise the whole demon slang ordeal granted me enough experience to achieve level two after some back and forth we decided that becoming an evoker Mage would allow me to contribute the most in terms of raw Firepower I recommend evocation it has the most damaged spells I believe so naturally with the team's best interest in mind I chose Necromancer because it sounded cool as [ __ ] but I don't know necromancy sounds [ __ ] sick though I have no clue necromancers do but I'm sure it'll be handy later on after adding two more questionable personalities to our team we took on some Ruffians who seemed to want dibs on the loot in our ship unfortunately for them they never really stood a chance to the 4ton boulder that was dropped in their head oddly enough the rest of the crew didn't seem too fond of our actions so we decided to take a quick tour of their Hideout as well their sft defeat gave us time to explore the loot filed Crypts they were hiding in thorough exploration eventually gave way to a cool room with some suspicious tombs but luckily for us that was of no concern since for the fleet footed was a thief and would have no issues removing such simp traps [ __ ] [ __ ] uh what did you do what did you do what do we have to attack the sarcophagus there's nothing here did you oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh oh [ __ ] oh God oh my God you Sur somehow by pure instinct or chance I was able to escape the traps unfortunately for his tadpull i' eaten a tad bit too much of his brain but not to worry since Tarth would surely succeed oh you shut the door oh shut the door oh God oh God oh God are you dead dude you do what do I do what do I do what do I do I decided it was finally time to step in and put a stop to this mess after we finished desecrating the graves we made our way towards the emerald Grove luckily we arrived just in time to prevent a goblin Stampede from threatening the town using the powerful Spells at my disposal I made quick work of the goblins with little to no collateral you can dual wield things uh that are uh I did yeah I saw it that was after we saved the day we had a relatively easy time passing customs and TSA as we entered the town we finally had our first real taste of civilization and I wanted to quickly make a big name for myself in the bustling economy I went to make my first big bucks at the nearest Merchant but he was too busy talking to taret several minutes of waiting made me quite impatient but that's when I saw a free chest plate lying on the ground being arrested for theft if you have a defense uh guys I'm being arrested what you do so many times I just pick up an item it's like a free item I don't know somehow I was able to bride the guard into letting me go but he took all of my money leaving me broken on the streets luckily I still had some Goods to sell so I walked around for a bit and found a street vendor named Mattis at first I called her out for selling fake rings but her s story was quite compelling so I bought the ring she offered [Music] training did you buy things yeah I brought bought a ring why are you laughing at me you're still in the window yeah I'm trying to figure out if she has anything useful why are you laughing at me nothing no reason suddenly fail something moving against your back and turn what I covered a whole thieving yeah you were getting big pocketed the whole time oh what a [ __ ] bro oh my God screw that apparently my good deed was not paid in kind and now any little money I thought I had was gone but my sadness soon turned to Hope as we further explored the Emerald Cove I found a tling named alira who I was told could give me music proficiency somehow I ended up choosing all the wrong answers and although now I can string lyrics together better than Eminem I could not so much as play Miry headed little lamb if I tried to make matters worse we encountered some harpies who decided to show off their musical prowess by luring an innocent boy to his death finesse okay fine so that's that's fine a no [ __ ] really bad yeah yeah fortunately for him we were there to avenge his death we went to tell the teelings the unfortunate news but before we could do so we stumbled upon a small altercation in the makeshift prison the teelings were using to hold a goblin of Unknown Origin we convinced ARA the tling to let her live and immediately afterwards freed her convincing her to lead us to the goblin camp we made haste escaping through the cave Network to avoid suspicion we encountered some precious Loot on the way and patiently waited as for the fleet footed picked the lock whoever said it just off are really bad Tarth got a little impatient and swung his flaming sword conveniently into a giant pool of oil igniting it and instantly killing me at first I assumed a trap had been triggered as there was no logical explanation for his actions but after rewatching the footage I realized that it was all taret doing since he wanted the loot in the chest oh so badly you just what have you done you just killed me okay and I just died what are you guys doing when I was eventually revived I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders but I soon realized it was in the literal sense because taret had stolen my remaining golden healing potions off my dead corpse I got you I got you I got you what you got you killed me no I didn't then how did I die I don't know pay attention if it doesn't work we can go back to the camp and revive you there you murdered me I don't want to hear it from you not on purpose yeah so you did do it so you totally did it yeah but it was accidental I'm one hpo I should have like 20 healing potions where are they you steal you stole my items I saw you pick up 33 gold and four healing potions you stole my items you stole my items it wasn't from the chest cuz rafie would have looted the whole chests you stole my get your ass back here and give me back mying item we eventually came to a peaceful agreement and I was able to retrieve my items after I threatened to kill saza in exchange after we came to terms we escaped through the cave system and made our way outside there we talked to a man who although was named Raphael was not an angel he turned out to be the Devil Himself and although he was quite convincing I made the educated decision not to sell them our souls the whole altercation was quite exhausting so we decided to call it a day setup Camp there it was a long day full of wild adventures but we knew there were still a lot of crazy encounters ahead of us what the [ __ ] did I just see so with that I will see you guys in the next chapter of ur's Life stay healthy and [Music] bye-bye

Channel: Cottonpuff

Views: 648

Keywords: baldurs gate 3

Id: YOOx56wYVS0

Length: 8min 23sec (503 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 12 2024