- Guys. If I had a remote, I'd be
hitting mute. Okay?
That's better. So, we're continuing awareness
week today with four speakers would who
like to talk to you about bullying. - Hey, team.
I'm Wendell. This is Harper. And we're here to talk to you
about a form of mental harassment
that we both got mixed up in during high school. Who's familiar with
social puppeteering? Wow, that's surprising.
- Okay. Well, in simplest terms,
it's manipulating others for your own amusement. Hijacking someone's reality
to feel powerful. - Here's an example
of something I did. In the sixth grade, I paid,
like, 80 kids a buck to go up to this kid Nathan
and say, "Hey, nice hat." So what's the problem?
Nathan wasn't wearing a hat. If 80 kids say you're wearing
a hat, you start thinking,
maybe I'm wearing a hat. And watching with him wrestle
with that made me feel good. I took the most valuable
thing he had. His mind. That's the idea behind
social puppeteering. Any questions?
- Uh, yeah. How come I didn't know
about this? - I know.
It sounds so fun. - Okay, guys.
This shouldn't sound fun to you. Okay? They're here to tell you
how bad it is. - Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, guys. If you get into this, it will
take over your life. I spent thousands of dollars "Honey I Shrunk the Kids"-ing
my cousin. - Oh, please explain that. - Well, I hired day laborers to
build an enormous replica of his room
in an airplane hangar. So he woke up in a three-story
bed the length of an Olympic swimming pool thinking he's now
half an inch tall. I mean, I went all out. I--I got the people who made the
"Jurassic Park" dinosaurs to build a giant animatronic
daddy longlegs he had to fight. Kid peed himself and hid in
a giant Lego for hours. It was pretty great. Um--but also wrong. - It really will ruin
your life, gang. My brother doesn't speak to me
because I vampired him. I won't bore you with
the details. - No, no, no.
Please do. - Well, in a nutshell, I hired
this weird albino dude to bite him
and run away. And a week later, I start
sprinkling a small amount of molly into his dinner
every night. So at night, he feels amazing. But during the day, he feels
a little bummed out because the molly
was wearing off. So he started craving the night because that's when he got
the molly. The nighttime became
his magical time. He was convinced that he
was a vampire. He bit our dad. - Excuse me, I'm sorry
to interrupt. But I think I may have been
socially puppeteered. See, I'm not a transfer student. I'm a 37-year-old man. Two months ago, what I thought
was an elite police squad hired me to pose as a high school
student and gather intel about a new drug called squiff. But I haven't heard from
them since, and they definitely haven't
been paying me, so... - Oh, yeah. You know what,
I'm sorry to say it, man. But you got "21 Jump Street"-ed. - Wow. I can't believe it
happened to me. - It can happen to anyone. - Don't be a puppet. Learn more at
www.stopsocialpuppeteering.org. [cheers and applause]
It could happen to anyone.
His delivery of “because… that’s when he got the Molly.”
Someone vampire me, please.
It’s wild how painfully unfunny SNL had gotten when talent like Hader left