Avoid Using "No Contact" Strategy In These 3 Scenarios (And What To Do!)

ladies and gentlemen of YouTube welcome to another video from your favorite breakup coach in which I'm gonna explain three specific situations where you should avoid using the no contact rule or at the very least when you should employ a modified no contact tactic now obviously guys already know me I am Brad browning I am a breakup and divorce specialist and I am located in beautiful and expensive Vancouver Canada so we're gonna talk about no contact right now of course which is a technique that I've covered you know extensively and in a lot of my past videos and it's also a fundamental part of my 3r system and it's covered extensively in my ex factor program as well so for that reason you know I'm not going to talk about what this tactic involves here in this video if you have read my program or or watch some of my other videos here on YouTube you probably know all about it already anyways now before I begin please remember folks that regardless of what I'm gonna cover in this video ignoring your ex and using no contact generally is one of the most effective things that you can do in order to win your ex back and you know all you skeptics out there you know you don't have to take my word for it just read some comments here on YouTube or some of my past clients testimonials and you'll see many of them confirming that no contact really did work for them so unless you're in a very specific situation like the three I'm about to talk about it here in this video then you should probably be employing the no contact rule immediately and ideally for the full 30 days or even longer now if you're really unsure you know whether no contact is the right thing to be using in your situation or the right strategy for you because of you know some kind of unique circumstances you're facing please visit breakupbrad.com/coaching sign up for my one on one coaching program and then you can tell me all the details so we can talk about it in more depth all right now but generally like I said in most cases no contact is gonna be effective except of course in these three scenarios we're gonna talk about right now all right situation number one is when your ex is getting pissed off with your continued lack of response so let's imagine that you've been you know you're smart enough to begin employing my no contact rule already and you've successfully cut off all communication with your ex you know you've been sticking to it for at least a few days or more but at this point maybe your ex won't leave you alone so in other words you know he or she's just spamming the crap out of you multiple calls and texts and it's pretty obvious that your ex is becoming you know frustrated with your lack of response so in that kind of situation you should actually probably be feeling a bit optimistic in some ways because it does show that your exes still cares you know enough to this point using no contact in this type of scenario is actually more important than ever you really need your ex to know that that you're not going to be available to to provide emotional support or to keep them entertained while they get over the post breakup heartache and loneliness so I mean using no contact it says to your ex you know get back together with me in a real relationship or I am gone from your life for good and that kind of scary realization can often be enough on its own to make your ex change their mind and decide to take you back now this only applies though up to a certain point as much as you do need to ignore your ex and stick to the no contact rule there may come a point where you need to break the silence in order to to avoid causing you know any major conflict so don't just suddenly break no contact just because your ex sends you a a text saying you know you're so mean for ignoring me that's not what I'm talking about here I'm talking about situations where you've truly cut off all communication with him or her for at least a week or two and during that time they've tried to reach out to you you know multiple times and they're clearly getting more and more frustrated or downright angry that you won't respond now in those kinds of extreme cases it's usually a good idea to break the silence I'm just in order to calm things down and make sure that your ex you know doesn't think you're holding a grudge or that you never want to speak to them again so you know if you find yourself in this kind of rare circumstance you know wait an hour to after a call or text from your ex and then respond with a quick text or call to say you know just I'm sorry you know I'm not really trying to be rude or anything I've just been really busy lately and I'm focused on moving on now guys it is important that you do not get drawn into you know any kind of further discussions with your ex you know don't don't feel the need to elaborate or share any kind of emotion with your ex you know just make it clear that you're not intentionally being an [ __ ] by ignoring them you're just doing what you need to in order to move on and to get over the break-up and just move on with life now of course that is perfectly reasonable so don't let your ex draw you into a fight or guilt you by becoming you know emotional just say what needs to be said get the point across and that's it and then you can just go back to the no-contact and see it through for the full 30 days unless of course your ex breaks down and begs you to come back before them which actually happens a lot more than you might think all right situation number two is when you have kids together with your ex or some kind of other serious shared responsibilities now this is perhaps the most common of the three scenarios that I'm covering in this video and it's also the most difficult to handle but in short you know you can't simply disappear completely if you have serious shared responsibilities with your ex like like parenting or or paying bills stuff like that you know most stuff can be ignored I mean if your ex is asking you know how's your mom or where you going this weekend anything that isn't really pressing or genuinely important that type of stuff you can just safely ignore during no contact but if your ex is asking you to you know pick up your daughter from school next week or if you still live together and your exes is asking to you to pay your half of the utility bills that are due tomorrow those are the kinds of situations the rare situations where you can't just ignore your ex at least not for 30 days so in that type of situation you'll need to handle things as best as possible by doing whatever it is you need to do you know agree agree to which days you'll drive the kids to school sort out who's gonna go to the bank to pay the overdue bills etc just be polite be friendly be upbeat and stick to the essentials now do you want to stress the importance of being upbeat and positive in this kind of interactions with your ex during no contact I mean if you must break your silence then then this is one of those times where you can and should do so but you also want to use it to your advantage by being you know more friendly and more happy seeming then your ex is gonna be expecting from somebody who's just gone through a bad breakup so in situations like this I call it I call this strategy modified no contact I mean basically it's just no contact adapted to suit the situation you're in as best as possible now most of you guys watching you're not gonna have to worry too much about this but the no contact tactic you know it can definitely still be effective even if it's more of a modified no contacts strategy at least I mean it can be effective as long as you actually do what I've just talked about in this video if you do it can and often still will work it's a great strategy and guys if you think you'll need to use this kind of modified no contact strategy but you know you're worried about how to safely do it how to safely break the silence and and how to use these kinds of necessary discussions with your ex to your advantage I would be happy to work with you and give you a second opinion on your situation all you need to do is go to breakupbrad.com/coaching make sure I've got a coaching spot available right now and if I do then you just can just register right there through the website and from that point on we will correspond regularly and make sure that you end up getting your ex back and living happily ever after again Sunnat from my coaching at breakupbrad.com slash coaching all right and finally situation number three is when it's been a really really long time since the breakup yeah now I know that a lot of you guys watching are gonna want me to be more specific on this you know maybe you're thinking well what defines a really long time Brad how long is is long enough that I don't actually need to use no contact ah good question I'm so glad you asked only I really don't have an easy answer other than it depends certainly I mean if you broke up a year ago or even more than that and you haven't been talking and seeing your ex regularly as in you know weekly or even more often since that time then you can probably safely skip the no contact period completely on the other hand you know if it's been six months maybe even eight months since the break-up something like that or if you've been talking to your ex regularly almost daily since the break-up maybe seeing them fairly often in that kind of situation then you may still need to cut off communication for at least you know a partial no contact phase and you know what if you're in doubt about whether you should use this do do use no contact because it is less likely to to backfire and to make matters worse then if you don't use the no contact strategy when you probably should have but I mean like I said when it's been a really long time since you last saw your ex or if you broke up you know long long ago and you don't talk very often anymore then that can sometimes be a fairly good reason not to use the no condom tactic now fundamentally I mean ignoring your ex it does several things it taps into basic human psychology and as I already mentioned one of those things that it accomplishes is sending your ex a really clear message but the breakup means losing you from their life for good now that sense of you know fear that your ex is gonna feel if you use this technique properly it's not gonna be nearly as effective as if they've already started to move on and become more used to daily life without you so that is why in many situations like this where it's been many months since breakup this you know it's not always necessary to use no contact or at least you know not for the full 30 days all right and final piece of advice here for this video and really it's just a bit of a reminder that no-contact isn't the only strategy to use when you are trying to start over with your ex I mean yes it is probably one of the most common tactics that you'll see suggested online I mean it really does work well in the vast majority of cases but really my 3r system recovery were kindling Andrea traction as 3 R's in it in other words it has three phases and no contact is only part of one of those 3 R's in one of those 3 phases and it can sometimes be enough on its own to make your ex come crawling back to you especially if you've got the self-discipline to actually employ the no-contact rule properly but the rest of the techniques and the advice in my ex factor guide involves saying certain things to your ex or doing certain things that have been proven to change their mind about the breakup and rebuild you know natural organic attraction to the point where where they'll forget about any excuses and they'll decide on their own to take you back now guys I am gonna cover a lot of those strategies in future videos now but I've also gone into a lot more depth about some of the most important ones in the full free video on my website breakupbrad.com so you know go over watch that video or register for my ex factor program which you can also do at breakupbrad.com in order to give yourself the best possible chance of reversing your breakup and starting over with your ex alright ladies and gentlemen you've been such a wonderful audience that is about it for today but please remember to subscribe to my channel here on YouTube to show your support and to keep me motivated to make more videos just like this one in the future thanks a lot for watching we'll see you next time

Channel: Brad Browning

Views: 359,576

Rating: 4.8514442 out of 5

Keywords: no contact, no contact rule, ex boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, breakupbrad, ex girlfriend, broke up, break up, relationship, get over heart break, coach lee, brad browning, heartbreak, love advice tv, radio silence, ex-boyfriend, dating, get your ex back, break ups, love advice, get over ex, with my ex again, avoid no contact, dan bacon

Id: GTjEAGJWTuA

Length: 11min 20sec (680 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 10 2018