Ask Dr. Winston | Covenant Marriage

hello this is Bill Winston in my latest teaching on covenant marriage I have been sharing with you insights on the marriage covenant and I ask you to send in some questions and that I'd be able to answer them by the Spirit of God and I'll answer these questions and believe that it will help you succeed not only in a married life but in your Christian life and beyond so God has a divine plan for you and I and in his plan he designed he has decided to give his best to us and that we be his best so in everything we say here and all that we do just think about the love of God and that he wants the very best for us no matter what's what's been going on I think that as we look at answering questions if you'll take the questions and frame them in the way of the Godhead in the fact that we are in the god class and that when we're in the god class it means that God has not created us to be pure poor or created us to be abused or created us to be manipulated or created us while we're his best and as his children he takes care of us so he wants the very best for us so I think if you frame it around the fact that it says in Psalm chapter eight I think it's verse five that we were made all a little lower than God it says that created a little more than the Angels but it means a little more than God and that we are created in his class that means his class of being so if we just look at it from there and kind of treat each other and think about God looking at us and how God wants to deal with us in this life and think about he wants the best for us that's when all of this begins to make sense now you remember you and I were about being born again we were brought back into a place where we were reestablished to receive God's best in everything that we do we are put back in a place where we're in the direct alignment with God in terms of what he intended for this earth now the difference is we have to renew our minds because even though we've been put there spiritually we have to renew our minds or David says restore my soul and so we have to get that mind will and emotions and all that worked out so it'll begin to participate in exactly what God says we are and what he said we can do so when I start reading this thought or answering these questions think about the love of God because over in 1st Corinthians chapter 13 sometimes when you have a chance as a matter of fact I'm just kind of led to deal with that just for a moment right there because it says so much about how the love of God works you know the Bible says once we get born again the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost now once you get born again you're in a new category altogether you're restored to a new place new position in God the old man has gone dead and now a new person is placed in that body so now you have new abilities if you will one thing I said is without God person has a limited perception of reality that's what I said without God a person has a limited perception of reality so what is possible for the person with God is not possible for a person without God and so now with God we have a new perception of reality we can do move things you can love people who are unlovable you can have patients where a person without this doesn't have that patience or you can see things and another person at a person without God cannot see in them and so I'm saying that now you've got new possibilities and what happens in most cases is we don't respect those possibilities we haven't been taught how to live in those possibilities we only think that this is it and this is the way it's going to be remember telling a story one time where this particular member of our church once I preached on marriage and she wrote a note to me and said this happened to my mom and dad and I was trying to figure out what happened and she began to explain some but I told her to write it up in fullness so I could see what it is and she said mom and dad married and I guess after the first six months he got a little abusive and so what happened in that case is that she was a praying woman and she believed God and believed what he said in his word no weapon formed against your prophet know about it no matter who it is and so she began to come into covenant alignment she began to believe the word of God and line up with that and as she did that what happened was one night God came to her husband in a dream and he said if you abuse her again you're going to hell now this is the actual truth of what she said happened to them and he woke up in just a cold sweat next thing you know he was shaking her and waking her and tell him to wake up and so forth and she woke up and and he said she didn't know what was going to happen he said I'm sorry I apologize I'll never do it again so forth and so on from that night he changed completely completely he held a hand everywhere they went he began to boast about her and how much he loved her he bought her flowers gift whatever it was to just reflect it up for 50 years one dream one night from one praying woman that have got in covenant alignment so I'm just saying a lot of times what happens is we don't seek God's way as a matter of fact when we do it's almost like it's last what it should be first and so God has a way of solving just about anything the Bible says that the love of God doesn't fail and so we have to get into that and say okay now what would anybody again that a person who is without God has a limited exception of reality they don't really know what all is available and so as a result of that they have to live according to what they know and they don't know much now we are answering these questions because what we're trying to do is trying to get questions that might be on your mind as the things you're living through or something that somebody might have wanted to know or so forth and so on so let's just go right into it now the first question we have we brought this off of social media it says is marriage designed to move us from a self-centered life to self less Ness there it is in areas that can only be seen behind closed doors and yes it is I've answered that question and what I said is that it's interesting how marriage you don't know how much self is is is a part of your life until you get married especially until you have kids it seems like every step is designed to make more of a servant's heart out of our thinking out of our hearts and so forth every step we make and I got married and you know I'm used to getting up you know going certain places being there when I want to be there and so forth and so on and I remember telling my wife okay now listen I'm leaving at this time here and if you're not ready catch a cab and get out there now what am I saying I'm saying that was that was that was my life and I had really you know little of no consideration I came out of the military and went with work with corporate world so forth and so on and I just went from one level of discipline to another well I had to understand sometimes women take so take a little bit longer to get the clothes on so forth like that and that's not a weakness I'm not saying that I'm just saying that they have to my wife had a little bit different way of getting ready and so forth and so on I mean my wife for example I'm driving down the street and and I'll I'll out somebody to turn here poop I'm turning if if my wife drive now stretch it turn here why didn't you tell me she's going straight ahead and I did not turn yet why didn't you tell me back there black ago you know before well that's just a difference in people there's nothing wrong that's just the difference in people so in this I think that it is designed to make us less if you will concerned about me myself and I and once you get into a marriage it becomes a covenant it's what can I do for you and then the other person says well what can I do for you it's almost like let me try to outdo you let me try to love you more than you love me and the Bible talks about again in 1st Corinthians chapter 13 you have to read it talks about actually you know putting the other person first and when you start doing that you'll be surprised what happens because it's just like sowing a seed and when you do so that see jewelry per harvest off of that so I just found out with my wife I said if I want to get something back I got to give something in other words if I want her to respond a certain way I've got to give a certain thing if you know the male and the female if you have electricity it's a male plug and the female receptacle same thing about a woman it's amazing who usually gives ourselves a seed for the woman and then the woman then delivers him back a baby well that's the same thing in relationship so it talks about the husband's love your wives and that is that agape love that's loving your wife no matter what situation is that you should show love and affection to your wife that's one question next question I do not know why women are to go to the church where your husband wants to go I never see my husband read the word how can he be led you know it's an interesting thing about this that often comes up in marriage especially with you know people who are in the kingdom and what do you have to do is that's one of the situations you treat it on a case-by-case basis but you have to respect the fact that the man is still the head of the house and you have to respect that one of the things that's talked about is that following our husbands now as he follows the Lord and that's what it says I remember story of Smith Wigglesworth and how he had a situation where he was not saved and very grumpy man and so forth his wife would go to church certain times and he said you're not going out of that church the night she said old Smith don't say that he said no you know just you know just not going so what happened was she said Smith I've got to go we have prayer tonight I've got to go he said if you going I'm lucky I'm not going to let you back in well she went ahead and went by faith and as she did that and I understand follow him as he follows the Lord so as we she did that she came back and the door was locked so she just hustled up right by the door and went to sleep I mean supernaturally and then he opened the door in the morning and she kind of fell in the door Oh Smith would you like something to eat by her if showing that kind and displaying that kind of love it brought Smith Wigglesworth to the Lord and he became one of the most powerful men of faith that has existed I think in the centuries since the Apostle Paul dis man now this man suppose she went up against him suppose it was a huge argument suppose she said I'm out of here well whatever it is now I'm not saying stay under abuse I'm not saying that but I'm saying that in this particular case by case I showed you the first time this woman prayed the next time this woman follow God I think sometimes when we're dealing with marriage we leave out the supernatural who is it doctor Jung GI Joe Paul young-hee Cho and I said that this couple came to him said he getting divorced they don't want to speak to each other they were in a marriage counseling session he's now I'm out and he said just by the spirit of God's he began to speak things and other things to break the power of the devil and that marriage to destroying spirit over there marriage he just spoke it and he said he did think much of it they came back came back apparently that Sunday they were both working in the church and then he said he got one of them began to talk to him said what happened so well after we left you something happened that we got home and we're trying to figure out what will we arguing about why were we going to get you know go our separate ways and so notice that was a supernatural taking place in that marriage and I think sometimes we don't give the supernatural the chance to work now I'm not saying that if a person decides because I'm going to hit this this one might this divorce next but if a person decides that they want to go their separate ways to Bible says the unbelieving one to depart let him depart and that's what it says well one of the things about it and maybe we'll go over this next time that there with three categories of people in the Bible there is a Gentile there's a Jew and there's a Church of God and there are some interesting things that were said in the Gospels to the Jews that weren't saying to the church who said to the Jews and maybe we can get it to that next time and kind of show you some of that but the Bible says speaking about divorce that divorce is a sin but we are under grace the grace of God and we are forgiven as we ask forgiveness and God only allows divorce because of the hardness of the hearts of his people who would not forgive that found in Matthew chapter 19 and verse 8 so we are forgiven when we when we marry a person who is divorced for any reason and that's found in Romans chapter 5 verses 12 to 21 so a person can get divorce and get remarried now God hates divorce he didn't want people to divorce why he wants people to stay together because when divorces take place there are all kinds of complications that come with that especially when you're dealing with children and so forth and so on and they come with that but God has a way of healing God always leaves us a way out he always eases the way that he can heal us remember what I said whenever you think of these things that I'm talking about during these questions think of the love of God first because God loves us when he brought us together it says let me go back to it and this scriptures found over in Ephesians Ephesians chapter 5 he feeds in chapter 5 and I'll start reading at verse 31 for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and they too shall be one flesh and I think that oneness when that oneness is joined is more than a spiritual joining it's a soul that is joined together and that's why marriage sometimes it's so difficult because it's ripping a part of a soul it's ripping a part of a tie that's been made by God supernaturally you know people can stand up before just as a piece and stand up before different things and they can get married but they're not in the in the kingdom of God God God is the one who puts things together you know just a man just can't set up - well you're my wife we're just going to claim that you're my wife and I've seen that happens people say well you know we go get married anyway so we may as well live together and so forth together for 18 years and not get married yeah and so forth thing then while we intended to get married anyway so God is just going to count it like we've already been married now that's not true so we want to make sure that we do it God's Way and so the gods can bless it because he really does but God wants us to stay together and one of the reasons one of the ways that we can make sure we say together is make sure we marry the right folk I think that's one of the biggest things that rears its head after people get married and start having problems the question is did God put it together because what God puts together no man can put asunder so what did God put this together okay if God puts it together Dan there's first of all that's the grounds right there for some hope for it that's why I call it covenant because once you get in covenant with you've got some covenant rights for example you've got covenant rights that your children be the heritage of the Lord that they be delivered from all kinds of disasters and so forth like that as a matter of fact I think I'll put something down here that once we get married it says in Matthew chapter 15 verse 28 let me just turn over there now I'm saying this because as a believer once we get married we're in a whole different category we're just not some people out here hoping that this thing will work and we have to keep God in between this and God works to make it makes it make sure that it does work he says over here Matthew chapter 15 and verse 28 and jesus answered and said to her a woman great as I faith be it unto thee even as thou wilt and her daughter was made whole from that very hour so I'm just saying that a heritage of protection is part of our covenant in marriage that our kids would be protected here's another scripture that you might want to have and that's found over in Matthew 18 and 10 Matthew 18 and 10 oh why am I going through the scriptures I'm going through the scriptures because that's the covenant that we stand on she distances this is the book this is between you and God and if God promised it in here then it's your heritage I mean if I do my part God is is now he's got to do his part now here's what he says in Matthew's Gospel chapter 15 a pardon me in chapter 18 and 10 he says this I told you this is going to be informal now we're going through the questions here because I want you to dig in here and see yourself he said in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 10 take heed that you despise not one of these little ones for I say to you that in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my father which is in heaven now notice they're angels so those who are part of Covenant family is their children have angels now when they do have angels you and I have to make sure that we speak words that would help determine the children's future in other words we've got to say things that release our faith we see if I could hear to it our duty is to believe on our children's behalf and tell them that they're destined for greatness we also have to speak words life and death in the power of the tongue that we have to speak words that would give angels permission to be able to help and assist our children and keep them from from harm or keep them going the right way so forth and so on now these this is part of marriage now but a lot of the problem is is in terms of raising kids and I think two things that are the biggest problems in marriage one is money money do we have enough money cuz that money think that's caused some of the biggest arguments I think there are and the second thing I think is the a I call it a lack of knowledge it's it's how women or how men should be treated how we look at them in terms of are they really following the plan of God are they operating in a way that would cause the other to respond a certain way that whole thing the Bible even talks about defrauding one another and and sometimes let's say they have a problem sexually that a man doesn't feel like the woman is is providing enough of intimacy for him and and then he goes and says well I can go outside and I can do this and do that well it that may be possible but once you do that then you begin to injure the the soul that there there's there's a as a as a togetherness that those two have and once a person starts going outside of that this togetherness is not there anymore and so next thing you know you have the marriages go in separate ways but here's a question if you marry a woman who has divorced her husband for cheating on her is it scripturally okay the question is yes if you're forgiven and we're under grace and not under the law we can be forgiven and now we could remarry again but the one thing I said is make sure that when you did get joined together you got joined together by God over in the scriptures it shows how Isaac found a wife and he didn't find her really hey bruh his father Abraham said a person out to get his wife and when Isaac saw her boom you know lights went on and that's the same thing with me I wasn't even looking for a wife but when I passed by this woman Veronica next thing you know lights go on wow this is a woman for me alright so we got married after we got married six months later the enemy began to try to point out to me little things that you thought she could do that mama did it this way and so forth and I began to get the kind of resentful if you will and so I went to a meeting then I went to that meeting and discovered that you can have what you say and that I have to have faith in my life that the just shall live by faith so I got this a book praying God's Word and I began to pray that word over my wife she's a virtuous woman always says be good as long as there's life within her bread of idleness gossip discontent self-pity she's is not each he gets up early get spiritual food for the house she assigns her basic tasks she does not court neglect the present duties by assuming others she over the mouth with skillful and godly wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness she gives counsel and instruction she looks well on how things go in a household that's bread of the word is working mildly in our marriage we've been transferred in transformed into the image of Jesus by the renew of him I would say that every day now notice who it was changing it was changing me it was changing me because I came from a household that when I was a kid they divorced and that divorce was written inside of me I didn't know it but that seed was sown inside of me and it had taken root and so now at a point of time the enemy just pushes some buttons which he is the author of all that strife and division he pushes some buttons next thing you know I began to feel a certain way even though I love this woman and it's amazing how the enemy can try to control your soul and nexon you wake up one morning I don't love him anymore no the person that you couldn't stay off the phone with when you were engaged I mean this is the same person so forth what happened to that there's something that controlled our soul and and I'm saying that what you have to do is come back to the scriptures of how you mate if you're born again if a person isn't born again then they don't have these tools to work with but if you're born again first two you have to work with his love and it's not the human love it's a God kind of love and that love never fails and so what happened with that love it's God begin to work on your behalf you begin to pray to God Lord I have a situation here in this marriage that I honestly don't know whether I can stay with I don't know what I can tolerate it and so forth I'm just talking about the division of strife between them talking about some kind of physical abuse so I'm not sure that I could go through this and what happens is God now begin to strengthen you with with Mike by his spirit in your inner man God now begins to push his grease on you begin to things that would get into aggravate you don't aggravate you no more anymore and God now begins to move in on your behalf because why it's a covenant marriage he it's but you your spouse and God and leave him right in the middle of it now speaking of men going to church a man was designed initially to stay in the presence of God and that's why he was given what he's given now let me share with you my wife and I we've been in the ministry now some twenty four years I think it is and-and-and-and here really formally the ministry and my wife has really been a help to me I asked my wife sometimes does she want to speak on Wednesday doing our service or Sunday no sweetheart you're doing all right I'll let you do some speaking but she is helping me behind the scenes in everything in everything I I have a habit of Sunday night Saturday night to get my clothes spit on I hang my suit up we make mature my clothes are or you know lint-free and so forth and so on and and all of that and when I on Sunday morning here's a routine I get up maybe four o'clock whatever it is and I begin to study we saw have my first services at 7:00 and and I began studying and outlined a message for the last time and so forth and my wife what does she do she comes up at a certain time and she's a sweetheart okay you got so much time to go now she's reminding me because he knows if I stay in that word I'll just just go right through the time and so she reminds me then what happens she said okay do you want to take this distance she pull down the folders you're good to get mixed copies of what I need to make so forth this is all on Sunday morning and then I go and run down to the shower take a shower my clothes are laid out I come back and everything's laid out she's got my telephone in the car so forth and so on now I'm just saying I don't know what I could do this by myself I really don't now some people are not married and they have the grace not to be married and to live and unmarried life they have the grace for it there is nothing wrong with that matter of fact the Apostle Paul's that I'd rather do it that way why because he had so much work in the kingdom he said he needed to be alone by himself now of course it was him in the Holy Ghost and Jesus but my point to you is is look that I mean that paying out tides he what does she do take the money we get during the week and she adds it all up but the bank account and then had taken out the tithe and then all the bills that need to be paid so forth she does all of that she brings him in there put them on my desk with the checks on sign why because I checked the bill signed bills so forth and so on and tied same thing time what do we do when decide she we didn't hold it up before the Lord right there in my study now hold it up before the Lord we tithe and so forth now that's a helpmate that she thanked God for I'm telling you I think she could speak as well as any person not just woman any person that I know I mean she is a great speaker she was majoring in audio and speech pathology and all that in college his always great speaker but she wants to help me be what I'm supposed to be and because of that I want to help her be what she wants to be I want to make sure she's comfortable make sure she's a sweetheart I told the other day sweetheart listen and we're gonna put some money out here here it's $5,000 I want you to take it and go shop till you drop god I don't mean just drop but go ahead because like why just you you want to give back that's covenant marriage now what are we doing we're all working for the same thing because we're one we're not - I'm not looking to be some big person I don't need my picture out front and what I need to be is stand before Jesus and him say well done she's helping me do that because she gets the same amount that I get for putting my clothes out and I'm just saying sometimes in a marriage as this tug of war and you I want to beat net1 wait wait a minute we're all are somebody waller made God made us I had some things down here he made us all a masterpiece glory to God he in terms of our lives you were never created to be poor unhappy dominated manipulated abused shamed walked on never never meant to be that and and also you are created in God's class of being able to walk and talk and live and reign with God and and live the life that he's called us to do - to - and also I put here sometimes limited thinking will you to let not only opportunities pass us by but get us involved in things that get was not we're not God's will at all and so I'm just saying when you're talking about this thing called marriage you first have to come back to how God sees you and how you see yourself if you see yourself ashamed you'll make other people ashamed if you see yourself a certain way and you to get into that relationship and get married you need a healthy opinion of yourself because if it's not there his sump somebody's about to be destroyed here is a bout to be eaten up they cannot do enough to satisfy you because you don't satisfy yourself you're not pleased with yourself and I'm just saying that is the piece that I think is a foundation for us being able to answer these questions right how do you feel about yourself and better than that how does God feel about you maybe next time what I'll do is I'll start out with that and I'll start out looking and seeing how God feels about us I did just a little study interesting this morning and and how God sees us and before we were born we existed in the mind of God and he knew this world would need you at this time so he planned and purposed for you to be born in that something and you can do something nobody else can do and you can do it better than anybody else can do it and that's you but we don't have that healthy opinion in ourselves we put that on other people next thing you know we're dissatisfied with with this and that and so forth and the problem is we're dissatisfied with ourselves so with Adam he was made to be in the presence of God a man was made to lead his family and if somebody a man is not leading his family and a woman has been stepped has to step up and she has to start leading and so forth pray for that man like it Wigglesworth wife prayed for him that he would one day be one of the Apostle Paul's he would one day be of Smith Wigglesworth and somebody prayed for me because I had no intent on being a preacher yeah what wait and look what happened mine totally changed complete reversal of my thinking and I'm saying if God will do that for them he'll do it for you one more question let's do one more question scripture says God is love and he who dwelleth in love dwelleth in God and God in him does that mean that we are God and he he is us now not sure what that means but God is in us that when he breathed into Adam he breathed himself into him and what in God is in us and as it is in us we now have new capabilities we have new new abilities as a matter of fact because once he spoke this into Adam now Adam began began to show his Saint God same nature so forth and so on let me read another question because I think that is a little bit off of what we're trying to do here what are the spiritual and earthly benefits of a covenant marriage and we see our answer that here a covenant marriage is the one and only way that a man and woman can truly come together as one flesh because it is through covenant that partners recognize a supernatural event of oneness between Christ and the church and a man recognizes his wife as being his flesh and the bone and flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones so they are one covenant in one blood so basically I think one of the reasons why my wife and I've gotten to know each other so well is because we're one we're not two and I she doesn't really need to ask me whether I want something to eat or whether or not this morning and whatever have you she can almost feel it and that's one you know it's that's that's the kind of thing that you could be somewhere else and the person would know to pray for you because you might be going through a little struggle or something that's that oneness that we're talking about so I tell you what we're going to end it right there for this session but I trusted you got something out of this now again what we're going to do is is try to take these and we're going to try to do one of these from time to time I don't know what frequency we got to do them on now but I want to answer these questions because you you really answer ask some good questions listen listen at some of these questions how do you get your spouse to be more thoughtful of you my husband stays out late and I'm home waiting on him then he has cheated on me in the past when we got married neither of us were saved but now I'm saved and I want to live for God he is a good man but our lifestyles are so different do I stay in this marriage I do I leave Wow does God forgive a believer forgetting in a relationship with a married man causing a divorce and then marrying that man let me just say this you need the wisdom of God to answer these questions these these are not simple questions here these are questions that it does take the wisdom of god but god supplies us that wisdom but that's the kind of thing we're going to want to answer here in the days to come now why are we doing this we're doing this so these this unbeatable team can work together you know how can two walk together except they be agreed and so God wants us to walk through the why so we can finish his work one of the main reasons we get married you know and a lot of times we think well you have to have kids then it's first for his benefit God wants some benefit out of this thing so if we look to him first and see this is a reason why we're coming together as the primary reason then I think we're halfway there now I enjoy hearing from you guys let's say just be very informal I'm going to talk about it and give you my ideas and things like that you'd be surprised he said my people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge I think the same thing about a marriage Sasori mainly for immaculate lack of knowledge it's not there I know a lack of money has a lot to do with provision because people when money is not there pressure is there and if the marriage is already kind of weak if pressure that's just breaks dead bridge and so what happens is we have to get this thing restored same thing about knowledge we got to get enough knowledge now so we can Satan proof our home because that's what we want to do we want to make it so that if the enemy did get in you won't get in anymore we can kick them out and keep them make them stay out you know we've received many of your questions regarding covenant marriage now I'll be answering your questions so continue to send them to me through social media using hashtag ask dr. Winston and on our Facebook page Living Word Christian Center and by email through our website at www.ardexamericas.com god bless you

Channel: Living Word Christian Center

Views: 39,678

Rating: 4.8092566 out of 5

Keywords: Marriage, Divorce, Christianity (Religion), Ask Dr. Winston, Living Word Christian Center, Bill Winston Ministries, Covenant Marriage, Christian Marriage, Marriage Today, Husband and Wife, Marriage Problems, Christian Dating, Preparing For Marriage, Broken Marriage

Id: CU3GEbAEAC4

Length: 39min 23sec (2363 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 03 2015