Top of the mornin' to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome. I guess to - well welcome back to FNAF, but this one's called freddy fazbear's pizzaria Simulator or something like that. I dunno everyone's calling this FNAF 6 it came out literally just a few hours ago right now for me, it's 4:06 a.m.. And I kind of wanted to jump on this now Because I didn't want to wait until tomorrow And then have to wait a whole nother day again to record it and then have the whole thing Ruined for me by everybody else telling me exactly what's happening before I even get in playing it so I thought I'd try and jump ahead of it and Play it as soon as it came out and give it a bit of a fair shot because some of the other ones I was a bit late getting to them and then by the time I did get to them I had all of my All of my vision of what the games were of warped completely by everybody else's Interpretations of what it was so I dunno what this is it kind of looks like it's a piss-take of the game It doesn't even look like it's a fully-formed FNAF game but as we all know these games like to pull no punches and change everything as it's going along and it's only been out for a few hours and already my social media feeds are inundated with people telling me to play it so I'm not too enthusiastic about it, because it's more FNAF and we've had a fucking billion of these And all everyone kind of roll their eyes at FNAF these days, and it's not really as exciting as it used to be but Again, I'm gonna give it a fair shot and make up my own judgments for it, but design pizza Don't mind if I do. You don't even have any pineapple? Come on. What is a pineapple? What is a pizza without any pineapples on it? (A bad one) I mean, it's still a pizza, but But you know what, I'm just I'm put the fucking all these on it The sounds like a delicious pizza with all of these. This is a type of pizza I would definitely make in real life if I had some pineapples they throw them on as well, and then have myself partay But yes, 100% go-to pizzeria what the fuck? Oh. Hey, I'm shooting pizzas at kids. take that you damn kids! Stay in school, don't do drugs. Also, eat lots of pizza and get very fat apparently I'm just killing children! I mean yes, I get it, FNAF has kind of always been about that, but look, I'm pretty! Also, I'm not too keyed in on the lore of Five Nights at Freddy's. Uhm, maybe cause there's just too much of it, and I'm not that invested so, a lot of this Oh God. Hello Phantom bear! A lot of this is probably gonna go over my head What do you want, you blocking my path? Can I stop you? There we go here you go little kiddies, eat up all the pizzas. Tell your parents you came down to Freddy Fazbear's and you got diabetes. And also bad cardiovascular diseases. Okay, okay, other Freddy. You know what you know what, just Stay up there. Okay? I have kids to kill. I have kids to kill, and mouths to feed and also god. You're slow and ugly. is that what I look like really? There we go oh, okay, okay? Alright, this is kind of more of what I was expecting, but I'm shooting bears (Jack laughing at the logic of shooting bears that WERE pizzas) Awesome yes! Fill up the screen with bears and were frozen. (Darkness fills the screen, leading to the slow realization of dread and fear) Oh shit. Oh, hey, baby B.a.y baby It's been a while Hasn't it? You look different though. Are you actually baby, baby was pink and white your kind of yellows and oranges and blues and purples. Okay. Oh, oh! If I hit this, if I press play on this, and I hear a phone guy go on hello hello hello I am throwing this game out the window And I had to download this on steam with so technically you'd have to throw my whole fucking computer out the window and I'll do that *Employees Only* paragraph four results no yes unsure no yes, what? Okay, let's press play begin tape leaving dead space 3 2 1 the purpose of this test automated response times and reactions from vintage interactive attractions following audio stimuli if you are playing this tape that means that not only have you been checking outside at the end of every shift as you were instructed to do But also that you have found something that meets the criteria of your special obligations [Jack} you've also been checking out dat ass Follow these instructions Document response times then safely secure the space before leaving upon sealing the room you are not to return [Jack] What? [Game] begin audio prompt in 3 2 1 (Metallic grinding noises that is creeping Jack the fuck out) oh i Don't like that sound [Jack] feel like I'm going deaf [Game] document results [Jack] document results, that would be a no [Game] begin audio prompt in three two one (Distorted whale noises) That sounds like a bunch of whale noises you use to go to sleep *Imitates Noise* [Game] Document results [Jack] That's ah, deaf [Game] begin audio prompt in three two one (High-pitched screeching) Ah, that's worse! (The sound becomes progressively higher and higher pitched) going fucken nuts (The dogs howl at the apparent dog whistle) You're not doing anything (Hear the pitch killing you yet, Jack?) [Game] Document results [Jack] she's broken! she sucks Begin audio prompt in three, [Baby] two, one Oh, shit hoho, Her eyes moved yay! baby's back [Jack] Go get em baby. Go kill the people not me though.I'm nice [Game] It's a new day. It's your time to shine [Game] It's time to take your career into your own hands [Jack] what [Game] you've saved money your whole life great now [Game] It's time to put all your eggs into one basket and take a huge gamble on your future. [Jack] No? [Game] a gamble that comes with a 100% chance of success in some cases [Game] What are we talking about? We're talking about becoming a fazbear entertainment franchisee [Jack]it's uncle sam bear [Game] that's right restaurant ownership and management Something almost anyone can do with a limited degree of success Sure, it's a lot of money to invest, but everyone's doing it and that means it's safe and lucrative With your initial investment, you'll receive everything you need to get started including a small room some tables and electricity [Game] But don't forget about the money you have left over after buying your franchise package [Jack] after buying [Game] use it to decorate [Game] Buy a stage, buy attractions and animatronics and much much more [Jack]does he have blood on his face now Let's take a look at a few things that will help you get started as a fazbear entertainment franchisee Lay it on me such as, Atmosphere making sure your establishment has an abiding atmosphere is essential to bringing in new customers [Jack] This cheese is so REAL [Game] entertainment value in your restaurant will ensure that customers come back bonus revenue [Game] Coin-operated games and attractions can generate additional revenue during the day [Jack] saving moneys for nerds [Game] are here in your pocket ready for reinvestment Health and safety there may be times when you purchase something of questionable quality And we don't blame you cutting corners is just good business But there are steps you can take to ensure. You don't get sued for it and that brings us to Liability being a thrifty shopper is smart. [Jack] You might die [Game] that buying things on sale comes with a certain amount of risk aside from the daily risk of lawsuits There's also the risk that something might be hiding inside whatever you just purchased with that steeply discounted price tag [Jack] oh come on, really? of course, that would only be a serious danger if there were something outside That's been trying to get in for months now, which we are not confirming to be the case This concludes the amount of help We are legally obligated to provide Hey remember you are now the face of the newly rebranded Freddy fazbear's pizza where that smile with pride and let's make some money Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for disappearance death or dismemberment No you're not even trying There's no fucking subtlety to this game anymore as think there might be something hiding inside or something from the outside trying to get in WINK WINK NUDGE THEORIES! We get it okay. Oh, too A 2 step guide to restaurant management use catalog mode to purchase items. Item choice. Am I actually making my own aah I'm ready I'm actually making my own pizzeria Let's get started I Look exactly how much cash you had left over after purchasing your franchise package Great, that should be more than enough now Let's get started on your Left are your product catalogs, you can unlock more expensive catalogs by simply purchasing items for your pizzeria Use the arrows in the bottom right of the item window to browse the products for each catalog When you're finished shopping click the button labeled blueprint mode to place your items you can switch back and forth between Catalog mode and blueprint mode as often as you like before opening your doors to the public When you're ready to open your restaurant for business for the day click the button labeled finished in blueprint mode Give it a try and do some shopping Thanks, also. I remember you from FNaF world Yeah, every else forgot because good idea Like everything the fucking fan is here. I mean I have to play the fan, right You either already own this item or an upgraded version Oh? Take a doc. Oh cool. Oh Bucket Bob's not available mister can do Mr. Hugs Sissy salt pan Stan ah the paper pals. How about you guys? Okay This is weird, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but I'm into it. Okay a stage stage for one light animatronic bling bling bling bling bling Bye-bye-bye say lose lose lose All right Wow my stuff is all in very good wait for I get to place these shits Oh I get the placement But everything else is already doing I want to place the paddling pool right in top of the stage then no one ever try nice Finger on it, and then we all fight Yeah, I put you here Shazang I got a faz rating. Play test? Adorable, Beautiful *Jack Singing Theme* that's what that song was, can I do anything? Hit the fan clangy clang This is weird, sponsorship offer! Fight me pop soda. Have a pop and good time with fish time pop this. I pop Inc is offering to pay for advertising I cool I got $250 I go back to my catalogue to make my place look even better buy ooh I'm gonna go into Stan's budget stuff. Imma buy me some fucking speakers! OH I could have bought those ones! K I've $95 left mom told me not spend it all in one place, but fuck mom what she know I'm a businessman now (Jack humming to in-game music) Look at my place. It's so cool-looking (Jack bobbing his head as he scats along) Maaaan Looking Snasserific there Jackaroo probably should've bought an animatronic But you know what that's the downfall of the fnaf games. Five nights of Freddy's would be a lot better if they just didn't buy any animatronics Put the kids up on stage, let them be their own animatronics. I don't want a larger floor plan and finished. I don't know what I'm doing. Just got a load of money and spend it all in one place your restaurant is now officially open Awesome that doesn't mean your job is finished however You have a lot of work to do while patrons eat their pizza in the other room.Jack: Oh Shit I turned it off. your terminal you have supplies to buy papers to print and repairs to make Once you've taken care of all the items on your to-do list you can log off for the day and get out of there Money for supplies and repairs comes out of petty cash, so don't worry about it coming out of your pocket We've got you covered the only money You have to worry about is if you choose to upgrade any of the equipment in your office now on to other matters Okay. There's anything to be aware of is that the ventilation System and your terminal are pretty loud and may prevent you from hearing things in adjoining air vents That won't be a problem if there is nothing in the vents however if you feel that something might be in the vents you have a few tools at your disposal to protect yourself Aww Jesus. You can shut off your terminal and the ventilation system at any time to decrease the amount of potential you draw to yourself. (Fiztime ad blares over Mr. Tutorial Man) Shut Up! Directly into a vent will most likely prevent anything from jumping out You also have three tools available from the terminal itself There is a motion detector, an audio decoy, and a secondary ventilation unit. Keep in mind however that you can only have one of these active at any given time. Okay. Now get to it Simply log off when you've completed your tasks for the day, and you can go get some coffee Okay, I've fuckin no idea what I'm doing. Activate silent ventilation That's not silent (Considering it's quieter than regular vents, that's pretty silent, Jack. :/) K, Did I order anything yet? Order cups Oh fucking dial-up *Jack making noises* Okay done I have to go through all of these?! (Yes Jack you do. Tedious isn't it, Jackieboy?) So I'm in here right I, oh activate motion scanning. Oh, it's not just doing it on its own Got it God you're fucking slow. Are you are you still scanning? You just told me that nothing showing up. Okay? I'm order some napkins They're important I need them kids Kids like napkins Kids love napkins actually. It's really weird you think you need toys for kids. You actually just need napkins kids love that shit (Not True. At All.) Okay am I doing things correctly? (Yes Jack you are. Just keep doing things, buddy.) I-is this good? (Keep going, brother.) I have a printer in my office apparently (It's really small) Okay, Jesus Christ I Guess t-this did take place a million years ago. I Don't know if you're actually scanning stuff properly So I'm assuming that something's going to show up here, and then I press audio to get it into an adjacent room Maybe who the fuck knows, maybe we will get jump-Scared! (DON'T JINX IT JACK!!!) Okay, I don't know if I can click off this or if it'll revert that turn off that for a second. ah, I can hear myself think yeah, it does turn it off. Okay Printing printing paper oh, it's getting warm in here turn the air AC back on. Get very hot and bothered Okay, oh, unclog toilets I don't wanna do that oh it's nice and breezy in here now. Back down to sixty degrees. I'm gonna turn it off again Don't wanna waste power were on a budget here people. I only have five dollars. You know I'm doing all this shit with five dollars, but okay Am I hearing something? Okay, A/C's back on. Oh, thank god. I was dying in here. I was dying! Is this it is? Is this the last thing I have to do? Great job. It looks like you're getting the hang of this now. Let's just focus on getting you through your first week, okay? There's a big party here Saturday, and you should view that day as your ultimate test make it through Saturday And you will have proven yourself as the successful entrepreneur that we all know you can be But I don't want that, I don't care about a pizza chain. I care about eating pizza. I don't care about Owning pizza congratulations on completing your first day, Jack: Thanks Man. However your job isn't over. Just yet There is another aspect to your end of day routine and that is inspecting and salvaging any animatronics found in the alley outside the back door Things are something On here quite often and while we aren't sure why Oh God what we do know is that they can be used for parts? Which can mean a much needed revenue boost before starting your next day. Of course as with everything else in this line of work those benefits come with risk The smartest thing to do is to throw it back outside But then you get no money for the salvage choose to keep it And you run the risk of certain negative Consequences namely death, should the item in question not be as docile as it first appeared Jack: Why are you letting me pause now? And decide to try to salvage it then you must complete the maintenance checklist? During this testing phase check on the animatronic frequently if you feel that it is becoming unstable Use the Taser provided to you You can use it three times without damaging the hardware every use over three. However will decrease the items salvage value Jack: I have A Taser?! They take for you is an animatronic found in the back alley. We are unsure of its origins It is your job to complete the maintenance checklist before claiming it as Salvage or if you choose to You can throw it back into the alley where you found it and forfeit payment. Jack: I would like that. Please make your choice now. Proceed with Salvage throw it back to the alley. Bye! *Jack Lauging* Don't forget Saturday. You want them all to be in one place. Wait I can actually just throw it back into the Alleyway?! What the fuck?! Hey it works man. New lawsuits 0, no one' no one's... uh Doing litigation on me. And I have $307 course Okay, so we need to get stuff for the party on Saturday, right? fruity maze arcade entertainment 4, entertainment bonus revenue Let's keep that in mind. Okay. Imma buy you. Ah, Cha Ching! Wait do you have any animatronics in you? Stage, ooh nice stages, novelty traffic lights, a happy frog. Damn! I can't buy you oh, you're cute, mr.. Hippo. That's Bonnie with a reskin Ned bear. I Should have saved some of my money, we're not fucking over you guys first. I am candy cadet I look like alpha from Power Rangers. Aiyiyiyiyi okay, I guess I'm down to fucking wait unless someone wants to give me a Advertising sponsorship offer Martis plungers, nothing goes down that can't come up you oh Yeah, I'll move back my catalog and I'm baby's fuckin animatronic who do we want do we want Contestant number one why? You were fine before way all unavailable now, you know what I'm buying alpha Fuck you guys It betters happy dancing motherfuckers Okay, I can buy way more shit by you buy all the things I am going to be New cataloger luck reminds me a little inferno little inferno just for me Whoa is that Foxy's oh? God no, they're awesome. Oh, that's horrifying I would not want to be in that thing as a child Oh oops Fighting Rockets lemonade clown also known as stay away children. That's a stranger danger pedophile. Oh God it gets worse You're not so bad knee on jukebox Medical stations, I feel like those look like voting booths security doors very handy rock star Freddy rock star Bonnie rock star chica chica you seen better days and rock star foxy ICO, I like to call them fuck star there's no new parent you are a pirate after all Okay Just my boy a fucking alpha But doink Doink look at this revenue 12 entertainment 16 H/SA dunno what that is on the top, right Atmosphere 10 I Feel like we've got a fucking bad-ass place going on in here I'd let the best pizza in town ain't no one getting close to me Ugh This shit again Order your cups see if I care Let's activ-fucking CHRIST GO AWAY Stupid skip ads I get it. It's making fun of YouTube scan scanning Scanning I still don't know how this whole system works, but You know it's fine. I'm just over here ordering cups and plates. I'm just trying to make a living man I got kids at home. I gotta feed them Okay, I get it now I get why getting the sponsorships is a bad idea cuz they interrupt everything else That's fine, maybe I want to be interrupted I want to see some of the game I want to see what animatronics are gonna scare me what animatronos are lying around?! Jump-scares and everyone when I feel like it might be a hoot and holler Let's turn off this for a sec I've heard something At least I thought I did Vents can you come back on it's hot as balls in here I honestly have no idea if I'm doing any of this right Print the pliers have a bar mitzva to promote Okay Everything's fine I was only in here printing posters man Regular ol Quiznos Kinkos FedEx print shop Is anything actually happening I feel like I'd be terrible at this game, I'm just getting lucky Just back up away from the screen a small bit, so doesn't scare me Okay Maintenance unclog those toilets fucking farting bastards clogging up all my toilets all the time Because he keep feeding them that abomination pizza that I made at the start, but it's good. I like that pizza It's very refreshing See from that all the pieces those other places are having Okay replace bulbs, and I'm done right...right? What is happening Am I supposed to be jumpscared I know it's closing time Oh, but I now I gotta stick my face in a robot's face Before you is an animatronic found in the back alley. We are unsure of its origins [Game] It is your job to complete the maintenance checklist before claiming it as salvage [Jack] Hey, it's Springtrap [Game] if you choose to You can throw it back into the alley where you found it? I mean I could just keep throwing them back into the thing salvage value a thousand okay [Jack] Proceed with salvage [Game] we're going to proceed with the maintenance checklist remember use your company issues taser to return the [Game] Animatronic to a neutral state if you feel that it's becoming unstable or aggressive [Jack] okay... [Game] You can only use it three times before it begins to damage the animatronic. [Jack] I'm ready to taste some ass! begin audio prompt in three two one (Uumm...UFO sounds?) Again with this shit, it's sounds like aliens Document results Oh, GET BACK THERE BITCH!!! [Jack] Taste them yeah, that was fun [Game] begin audio prompt in three two one Second audio prompt (Um...Jack are you having a seizure? I probably should have been looking at you, shouldn't I? Document results [Game] Begin audio prompt in three two one. [Jack] I don't like that you're moving so close I actually don't like that you're moving at all. Document results Begin audio prompt in three I'mma tase you back right now Not liking it begin that audio prompt one Document results [Game] Begin audio prompt in three two one [Jack] Did you move?! I want one of those audio document things to just be like... "Baby you're a firework-" And the animatronic just starts dancing This is a long one... [Game] Document results [Jack] Oh, this is, it it's gonna get me... (Boo.) I a l w a y s c o m e b a c k What? And something is loose in your pizzeria. Oh Fat kids again from the stand today overfed with my abomination pizza. Abominizza, as I like to call it! Wait I got the salvage revenue?! still have zero lawsuits though, so that is a Okey-dokey on my regard Okay, well I'm gonna need this video here on FNaF Pizzeria Freddy Fazbear simulator I have absolutely no idea what to think this is a weird game I'm not I'm not sure if I'm into it it seems so all over the place and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing though the other games they did get a Bit like the first few nights were a bit easy as well so that I get caught OOHH Oh okay, so Nothing's actually going to be walking around in my vents until I fail that because then it said something as loose in your pizzeria so as I actually find all those other nights anyway and Now because I did that wrong which again. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing So because I feel that is it loose in the pizzeria now so when I go into the thing I'll actually have to scan for stuff now Funny that it's Springtrap because these mechanics are exactly the ones to keep Springtrap away- was it Springtrap...? Yes in FNaF three you had to use the music to guide him into different rooms Okay, um let me know what you guys think I don't know if this is supposed to be taken seriously or not and I don't know what the whole end goal is or even The timeline or any of this takes place, but all I know is that I'm making a ball or ass Not available ....why? I'm gonna give I'm gonna get a fucking baller Pizzeria kids are gonna love it. That's a three liability risk though, and I'm I have no lawsuits yet So I'm trying to keep that up and try and keep my my litigation record Clean as whistle- but anyway. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode if you liked it PUNCH that like button in the FACE LIKE A BOSS! And, high fives all around. Wpish! Wpish! Thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes- IN THE NEXT VIDEO! (Teknoaxe's "I'm Everywhere") I want to be as happy is that dancin' bear in the corner *Jack Noise*
