Aquaman - ralphthemoviemaker

this movie that came out Aquaman it wasn't very good we can do more than just talk I kept wondering while watching it who would voluntarily sit down and watch this this is supposed to be entertainment right it was like watching my 8 year old cousin play a video game on xbox and he's controlling Jason Momoa with his [ __ ] controller I cost 150 dollars the price is 170 $9.99 how am I supposed to take anything that's going on seriously throughout this entire movie okay let me break it down for you break it down for me this film was directed by a man named James Wong master of the 360 orbitting shot we're gonna spin around the characters isn't this cool you know it's not cool when you do it a hundred and fifty times in one movie I have seen almost all of these films and I can say from the bottom of my heart they are indeed movies saw was okay conjuring was okay he directed one episode of MacGyver I didn't watch that the trailers just looked so bad then I heard the movie was almost two and a half hours long but then I saw the IMDB score and I was like oh okay this movies probably great so for some reason Aquaman has been received as a good film are you guys okay it is factually epic I think you've all been smoking too many doobies Aquaman is one hell of a ride I'm happy Aquaman fans got the Aquaman they wanted I'm happy they got to go to a theater and watch Jason Momoa addresses Aquaman fight a bunch of CGI fish it is so standard and formulaic it does nothing original there's no real style to it aside from James Bond's 360 orbiting camera lots of wide-angle lenses one thing I will say about Zack Snyder's vision for the DC EU was that it was unique uniquely terrible but Aquaman does nothing exceptional at all the reaction wasn't oh my god this is the worst thing ever made the reaction was oh okay I guess I was fine even the critics on Rotten Tomatoes were really impressed with Aquaman people still use this [ __ ] awful sight the film is everything but most of all it's a deliberate confection splash meets Game of Thrones and this thoroughly entertaining slice of submersible superheroes now our flawlessly constructed film thinks that he's thinking you and correction quite possibly the worst comic book movie ever made all right that's a little much dude I won't say that I understand that people like these movies feel free to enjoy whatever you want I understand there's a market for this the impression that I and so many other people have of Aquaman is that cheesy guy in the orange suit let's just hope we can wear him down before he wears us down they have definitely tried to do many other things with the characters since the original Super Friends obviously there are plenty of other iterations of Aquaman where he's portrayed in a more badass serious light there's just no denying that he has that stigma attached to him oh I've got friends coming over tonight these lobsters walk right up to the door anyone hungry the people kind of see him as a joke and then when you make a film titled Aquaman with Jason Momoa I get the feeling and like oh they're really running out of ideas aren't they and I really hate this whole this ain't your dad's Aquaman mentality we're trying to take with this new version of Aquaman I could have taken that tongue-in-cheek approach like they did with Shazam they keep saying Aquaman this and you're not supposed to laugh Aquaman you're supposed to take it seriously I understand a lot of people can take it seriously but I can't ready for the movie to start Jules Verne once Robert but two ships in the open sea without wind or tide and won't come together nice we can [ __ ] dialogue that's good just start the movie with a Jules Verne quote Jules Verne once wrote as Jules Verne once said I believe cats do be spirits come to earth a cat I am sure could walk on a cloud without coming through a lake Oh like nine lives right turn out to be a paedophile so Aquaman's dad picks up Nicole Kidman she's still holding the staff even though she's unconscious cypher that's how my parents met like two ships destined for each other thanks for explaining the significance of the Jules Verne quote oh look he has a dog cuz [ __ ] people like dogs put a dog in whatever hilarious it's like that scene in venom where a word Tom Hardy eats the lobster out of the tank except that scene is way funnier than this Tom Hardy was really dedicated to that role and that's why that lobster scene is way better than this fish eating scene in Aquaman a nor venom is such a good movie this is actually just a review of venom now so venom is a film that came out last year hey what's happening to me it stars Tom Hardy is the principal role of venom wait the best scene in the movie is of course this one when Tom Hardy's breaking into the facility and the girls like don't touch anything five seconds later he's [ __ ] knocking in everything I'm dodging the the main subject matter okay so where were we yeah we were three minutes into the movie all these movies follow the Wonder Woman formula now you start the story when the main character is very young so that's some kind of mentor characters or parental guidance characters can feed them exposition her marriage to King or vex was arranged a long time ago so she had to marry him in very Masonic made him so powerful the deep ocean itself became jealous this is the lost trident of Atlin oh i know the story it's more than a story it's real it was forged by the greatest he said he knew you said he knew this story you don't have to explain it profited from a sign of steel all right that was just a little bit of exposition it's over now don't know that is to go back to the time before the Great Hall I God when King at the ruled over that was I'm coming setting New Orleans and I really mean that oh my god is going on whose sole breathe underwater I mean how did you get that ability and then whatever exposition we can't cram in there we'll just have voiceover that only shows up at the beginning and the end of the movie she had fled in the arranged marriage left her whole world behind but in my father's lighthouse Aquaman has a lot in common with Wonder Woman but it also has a lot in common with a few Marvel films such as Black Panther the whole plot of the brother leaving the kingdom and then coming back because the throne is his birthright is a part of Black Panther as well except in that case it's the bad guy kill monger and the good guys came to Chawla then there's the whole element of them being brothers which is very similar to Thor and then five minutes into the movie they're attacked and it's turned into a giant action scene you know there's a lot of scenes in this movie where people are talking and something just blows up and interrupts then we get that cliche violin dramatic stock sounds and loud drums all in one you know because this scene is super dramatic [Music] there's no time to develop these characters or their relationships in any meaningful way in a minute we go from this guy finds the coal Kidman that they have a baby then feed the kids some exposition about Atlantis and how amazing it is and then we got to capture her quick cuz we gotta get to the cool stuff we gotta get to Jason Momoa and the fighting and the action and the CGI that's what everyone wants right Russia all that stuff in the first 10 minutes and then we'll cut to the title sequence and it says Aquaman oh look the fish spell out Aquaman how cute then master chief walks in big dramatic close-up when he takes off his mask oh it's a guy I don't know who this guy is I don't care they'd ever seen him before oh my god it's the Mantis or whatever the [ __ ] this isn't a competition it's an execution Jason I'm always full of truth I'm super fast and you super-strong and you hit people and throw them whatever so he's basically unstoppable so why do I care about what's happening there's no tension throughout most of this film because everything looks fake and Aquaman's basically unstoppable just like Wonder Woman just like Superman then Aquaman just walks away it goes up a ladder he pulls out a grenade launcher and shoots it at aqua I guess the debris just doesn't affect Aquaman at all let me get this really dramatic [Music] we've known these guys for like 3 minutes [Music] we get a picture with you you look at local hero man and then we cuts the CGI ocean and we we dive deep well it's a really cool shot and then look at all the CGI sea horses and CGI Patrick Wilson CGI Willem Dafoe so when does this take place because they mentioned a fight with Steppenwolf which I assume is from Justice League he defeated Steppenwolf and saved Atlantis but they act like they don't know each other but in Justice League they had a conversation it's princess Yue Mirabella châlon you may come yeah call me whatever every character has to introduce themselves in this way go lovely ocean master and then you're supposed to be impressed by this like CGI underwater world but it looks like total crap there are a few actors who play young Aquaman there's like this is like five-year-old Aquaman and this is like eight-year-old Aquaman these actors who play the younger versions of Jason Momoa don't do a great job when can I meet my mother especially this guy would she not love me he went to the Mark Wahlberg School of line delivery are you seeing the executed her because she had me what no aquaman challenges the king to a duel he loses the fight to his brother who's also the king it loses his staff that his mother gave him and he's about to be killed when mirror comes out and rescues him and then we're treated to a very odd song choice you're not gonna believe who made the song world-renowned composer and musical artist pitbull song has a lot of dislikes on YouTube he also did the amazing score for the thumb body you know what pitbull there's only one musical artist I will allow to compose music for superhero films and that one man is Eminem who composed the epic song for the film it is being mistreated oh my god the transition with the plane is very bad also the scene is so bad oh yeah 360 of that baby 360 360 shot keep going with those 360 shush dialogue scene are you bored by this oh well they just fall down a CGI waterslide whoa whoa this film also tries to be funny because people then they go to Italy for some reason and the only thing we ever see of Italy is like this one little set with a like a town square it's like a guy with flowers like what the [ __ ] is this this isn't what Italy is like so Arthur hasn't seen whelmed Defoe's character in a long time he trained him all throughout childhood so I thought their reunion was gonna be like a bit more of an event props it keeps the animals out they get kind of messy there's no like big introduction where Rome Dafoe turns around and it's like a really heartwarming moment kind of like Aquaman has with his mom later spoilers after all these years you find that you know what you wanted so kinghorn wants to start a war with human beings because we put trash in the ocean and kinghorn is trying to convince all these other kingdoms to join them so we get a bunch of subplots and characters of like people living in all these different kingdoms and this movie is trying to do so much and set up so many different kingdoms and characters it gets hard to follow so much of this is rushed because there's barely enough time for it there's these fish people and they get conquered in like two minutes you get no time to care about them or even understand like what they are where they are the only person who could stop King Oram is Aquaman and he's tasked with finding this ancient trident so he can defeat his brother an Aquaman goes to the giant monster that's guarding the Trident and it's a lot like that scene from Doctor Strange you know that Marvel movie Aquaman just tries punching the monster and it doesn't work but then Aquaman says the truth I am a half Britain highball but I do not come here because I thought it was worthy I know I'm not you understand and I guess the monster is moved by his little monologue and then he's dressed in the Aquaman garb and you're supposed to be like wow that's so cool but I was just laughing and king warm and Aquaman are fighting at the end and then the mom comes out she's like why are my boys fighting you'll all relax so I'll bake you some cookies and we'll just hang out in my house and we'll live happily ever after and that's the end of the movie there's a bunch of guys against green screen just explaining the plot to each other it was so dull they were the greatest empire the world had ever seen now throne shackled by archaic laws of politics this is very serious guys they're going to destroy bikini bottom we need to stop them I commend this movie somewhat for what it does with the visuals what James Wan was trying to do was super ambitious they did do that projection method with like the stuff where they're driving which is cool I guess you could say Aquaman was ahead of its time in this way because I think what they're trying to do is kind of cool but it doesn't look good maybe cuz the tech just isn't there yet it's not gonna age well I thought the fact that they were in salt water the entire movie was gonna be a bit distracting I'm sorry not salt water I meant to say sodium chloride order that's what I said sodium chlorite you know what this is now a review of Jimmy Neutron boy genius I thought it would look super bad and distracting having this blue tinge over the entire movie or something but it actually looks okay the hair is actually kind of cool at times doesn't always look real but they tried all the actors had to get scanned and then they're CG bodies are put into the movie a lot of this movie was shot against the blue screen or on like a small set and then a blue screen I think it really kind of hindered the performances which is kind of sad because I think one of the best things about this film is actually the acting like Nicole Kidman's banging it out with very little material to work with Jason Momoa is really trying he's having a lot of fun with the role I mean Willem Dafoe was there he does a fine job everyone's trying the only one who I'd say was distracting is Amber Heard who wasn't terrible necessarily but she's very just kind of bland I've been looking for you I need you to come with me to Atlantis she doesn't add anything to that character volcko has learned to the location of the Lost Trident of outline with the sacred trade and the people will listen to you heels and corset and a push-up bra it's going into Aquaman 2 that you're gonna ask the costume designer to a dress it's a long the next movie they'll just throw her in pajamas before you know it these movies won't even have actors in them anymore it'll just be all CGI and the voices will just be AI that are all programmed to sound like Mickey Mouse so I went to the Museum of Aquaman I think that's what it's called it was this part of Warner Brothers where they have all the Aquaman stuff but I was looking at these Aquaman costumes and when you see them up close in real life they look fantastic clearly a lot of care went into making these it's just a shame when it's in this movie it just looks really fake because it's surrounded by a bunch of CGI this is one of the main reasons I just didn't want to see the movie because the idea of these people just floating around in the CGI environment it's gonna look like the Gungan City the score and the music need to make a scene dramatic just add it's so boring now the score is trying to do a lot of the heavy lifting but it's so over the top that it becomes comical and it makes the film feel very cheap and you have like the selected tracks that are not composed and these are awful just horrible music choices inserted into the most random parts of the movie it was almost on Sony's level even Sonia stopped doing that but I have as no more need to compliment venom didn't you love the scene when Michelle Williams became venom how do you think Michelle Williams the respected actor she is feels about that scene she was probably just like hello are you okay you sound kind of like kind of satanic [Music] whoa all right let's go through the characters I haven't written down here Aquaman so considering he's Aquaman he's actually a pretty okay written character he's torn between two worlds his mother's world in the ocean and his father's world on shore and he doesn't really feel suited for either a huge reason this character works as well as he does is Jason Momoa he brings a lot of personality to the role and you can tell he's really trying the character of Aquaman turns out to be the best part of the Aquaman movie unfortunately this movie is crammed with tons of other characters and subplots and all of this takes away from Aquaman mara whenever Aquaman needs something explained to him she's there to explain it what is this who's this air pocket is an extra layer for the caution only the highborns breathes water as well as air and whenever Aquaman needs to be saved she's there to save him so according to their doctored fake interviews that are done by the studio and edited by the studio and recorded under strict supervision of the studio and they seem to have a fun time with each other I'm very glad I'm glad everyone who made this movie enjoyed the experience while making it and that the all got along just fine I'm just speaking as someone who's watching this film from his house but these two characters had absolutely no chemistry at all Pinocchio you risk her lives based on something you read in a children's book oh my god Disney managed to work its way into this movie - unless Aquaman is of course talking about a different version of Pinocchio but most people know the Disney one or did he see The Adventures of Pinocchio how about this version of Pinocchio with this annoying guy and then she also has a thing going on with King worm like she doesn't want to marry him I guess that's drama she would much rather have you know that delicious Jason Momoa me you know you gotta be with this guy how about that hairdo though look at that [ __ ] Harry Osborn I'm gonna get spider-man that's about all I have to say about that character oh I have one more thing written here it says a Black Manta Black Manta is one of the two villains in this film the other one being King orme we barely have time to develop either of these villains this was your grandfather's he was one of the Navy's first frogmen during World War two he was so stealthy and then he dies like a minute later it's so rushed King Oram the thing about this villain is he has kind of a point he wants to defend Atlantis from the humans were polluting the earth what makes him bad is not that aspect it's more his ego see Aquaman challenges King Oram to a duel and they go this little arena at first you think the duel is gonna be in this little room and then King worm just flies out into this giant stadium with thousands of people he's a big show-off King worm is just so similar to Loki it's the brother of the main character who was a bad guy granted Loki's played more for Laughs than King worm is Loki was just more interesting and it's been done before Aquaman's mom Aquaman's mom's character is that Aquaman needs a mom Dolph Lundgren pana shocked to see him in this but he did a pretty good job as King nary us pretty much the entire third act in the movie just like literally every other DC film the last act is just a bunch of shooting and explosions and CGI craziness and I am not invested in any of it because it all looks fake and I don't care about any of these characters it's such an overdone formula and I'm so sick of it now and yet these movies still always have to have the loud CGI ending I see it in these big Hollywood blockbusters all the time that movie ready player one was just a the whole movie was that it was just stupid [ __ ] blowing up and reference and that's what all these movies are and then after all of this mayhem shooting this is the credits music [Music] if we're gonna rank it with the other DC films I would say it's about as good as Wonder Woman you got the sense that everyone was trying the film is a dark nightmare but what it ends up being is incredibly bland because it's not trying to tell a story that's unique in any way it's not trying to defy your expectations they just want to be like Marvel now and I guess it's working Plus Chyna just loves this they eat it up I just missed when films like took place in real life did you ever see that movie Lawrence of Arabia it was like real people and they were in a real desert it looked really great [Music] why am i comparing Lawrence of Arabia to Aquaman because this is an art this is total flock and it was only made for money and for [ __ ] morons who like Aquaman and that's Aquaman I'm very happy I never have to talk about it again actually from the looks of it looks like I'm about to die no if I have anything to say about it put the knife down leave the kid alone the card sorry I'm two months late to your video kid I got caught up drinking in my apartment and then I went to rehab but now I'm okay and don't ask why I have an apartment I spent all my [Music] [Music] [Applause] okay now that you're safe do you mind telling me what's happening because this is all very confusing especially to someone who's never seen any video with yours before this Bruce is something you should know I've got a lot of enemies the Italian mafia Scientology Disney now but I need help yeah you can help me his

Channel: ralphthemoviemaker

Views: 966,052

Rating: 4.7958341 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 95egXLMav5c

Length: 28min 3sec (1683 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 12 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/YOUREABOT]

I can't wait to replay this 15 times in the background when I get bored

[u/DaHyro]

The next video has to be a frame by frame analysis of Venom

[u/NotessimoALIENS]

I CHUCKLED LIKE A DUMBASS WHEN HE THREW THE SCRIPT IN THE DUMPSTER LMAO

[u/Nexusanarchy420]

I was watching stepsis porn and came once the notification popped up.

[u/pieface42]

"there's a lot of scenes in this movie where people are talking and then something just blows up and interrupts"

i saw this movie with friends and i felt so crazy when i pointed this out and no one else cared.

[u/DecLikesReddit]

This is the best ralphthemoviemaker in a while

[u/BIGCHUNGEMAN]

That ending was beautiful.

[u/ThatAnonymousDudeGuy]

It’s like 3 AM but fuck it.

[u/BlackMoonSky]

Got my lunch break material for today hell yeah