AOC: The Hunchback of Notre Bronx | Flagrant 2 with Andrew Schulz and Akaash Singh

[Applause] because taylor came into the podcast with an amazing question and i think she's topped it before the podcast even started what's up this is flager2 i'm andrew schultz we got akash saying alex media mark gagnon taylor in the [ __ ] building now taylor started the podcast with a very interesting question she said how many times do you have sex per week and we were gonna begin the show with that question because i thought it'd be very entertaining get into the sex stuff is always fun but then taylor out of nowhere said cause our ac ain't working okay and and i guys goes it's kind of hot in here and then taylor goes y'all think it's hot and then we were like yeah and then she's like now it only gets hot if there's a lot of black people i said it was going to be hot because there's so many people in the room and then taylor said that only applies to black people no no yeah i'm just playing your logic dude you guys were black too then it'll be hot that's what i'm saying aren't enough to heat up a room and why is it only black people yeah why are white people so much colder what's happening now explain this to me actually you might make up for some of these so akash is black enough to increase the temperature in the room but are you like are we white walkers are we like just what are we to to temperature explain what mark and i are the temperature what are we making the room colder i don't know because y'all don't like this is no offense but like i don't think y'all know what like code is for us white people because i see y'all walk outside with shorts on all the time when it's like 30 degrees yeah clearly nothing why is that what is going on we don't wash our legs so enough dirt builds up that we can't feel any type of temperature at all yeah we don't feel cold we feel nothing on our legs that's why we don't wash our legs we're smart you guys are out here with cocoa butter super shiny clean legs and you're freezing okay you're freezing you got to wear ugg boots up to your thighs like mary j blige in the winter that's what you're going to do i'm talking about alex remember when charlotte came in with the [ __ ] knee-high timberlands were you were you on brilliance for that episode yo charlotte we got to get this episode charlotte came in once with knee-high timberlands it's like crazy people don't know how to wear timberlands it's so easy yeah i mean it's crazy it's so easy you know you buy some standard hymns we're in new york guys figure it out bro that [ __ ] was so funny because charlotte was already small so at first i was looking at him like i was like yo is his leg so short that the regular timberlands come up to his knees like like a little kid wearing giant tips yeah like you're walking in your dad's boots i was like yo you wanna fly fishing he's shorter than me but he's like a size 14 shoe or whatever the [ __ ] yeah so it makes sense that she would go mad high yeah actually tell me that i guess i shamed him out never wearing those shoes again he's about to get boots like this but high up too no no we're not gonna that's what he said we're not gonna allow that mark stop playing with the ac i'm tired of it done this is gonna be the temperature it is what it is and us whites will do the best we can to keep it cool around here just for you taylor okay but now i know that you have a prejudice about white people you think that we're colder mark give me the goddamn [ __ ] ac i swear to god that was a terrible throw yeah that's a terrible thrill around the [ __ ] technology all the time technology yo i'm not good at technology that's fine all right but you don't got to embarrass me about this it's one thing we play games you know obviously i'm not the best of technology i do my best to learn okay it took me 35 minutes to put a goddamn instagram video up on it it wouldn't go into bigger son you know when you hit the two arrows and it goes to ig tv yeah i kept hitting hours right in front of you out what you did you just stood there died it's your phone son what about my phone yeah it's just your fingers they're so shaky so you just kept hitting it twice i was double tapping am i turning into my mom anyway the point is this is the thing this thing you can make fun of me that's funny that's how you know you're the goat that's like ollie got them goat hands yo uh all right so look here's the thing you think when ali was like i'm the fastest man yo that's it he's just slowed down like back in the day ollie was so fast he was like a hummingbird where it just looks like it's floating in front of the flower because the wings are going so fast and then later on we were like damn ali's kind of shaky he got ice bucket or whatever that disease you know did he have ice bucket yeah lou gehrig's dinner yeah lou gehrig's right he had some sort of disease which disease that he had ali parkinson's what what i'll get back to the future disease women parkinson's ali yes parkinson's right i thought he had ice bucket no no ice bucket is like mad debilitating like ice bucket you're [ __ ] so parkinson's is the one where you're doing the like yeah you're like you're doing a little uh breakdance back yeah yo how would you dump ice water on a guy with parkinson's is he already shivering maybe he's trying to make him feel normal maybe it's like you know you're walking yeah yeah we're all going to shiver a little bit god this is horrible karma i hope none of us get any of these diseases it's all your fault so we gotta make it hot in here bro so we don't shiver okay so the point being right my girl's in the studio the other day she takes his new bike okay she takes his new bike i'll sit right the [ __ ] down doesn't matter if the angles are [ __ ] up who cares okay how [ __ ] up is that it is akash he's too low okay yeah i'm low i'm five seven what you're going to do point is my don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that i never gonna taylor taylor done taking dicks bigger than you [Laughter] don't ever let her owe you again okay i just never met someone that you know said their size they said their size okay so i could see what i could do is my life so so i i'm here at the studio my girl comes everybody's over here we're working on a little thing she brings her her bike okay it's a fancy bike it's by van moof all right it's an electric bike yeah but you also got a pedal i don't know why you would have to do both of them shits but it's just whatever they do i put it together myself okay whoa i'm putting the lights together myself this guy's amazing it must have been hella easy it was over easy but i was doing it i used all the wrenches all that kind of [ __ ] he was wrenches i was using allen keys i used the whole thing i scratched up the whole [ __ ] fender bending that [ __ ] over okay i damn near ruined her bike before she ever ruined but but i did put it together okay she rooted it yeah okay wrote it whatever she comes and says there's some problem with the bike what problem did she say there was the gears were messed up the gears were messed up yeah now it's in front of everybody you can't say your privates i was wondering he's in front of everybody he said the gears were messed up right it's in front of everybody i walk up to the bike i go all right baby i'll fix a bike oh no that's a bad move on your partner no no you did nothing let me set it up guys let me set it up boys i set it up don't worry let's just have fate i walk up to the bike going all right babe i'll take care of it no one damn well i can't tear carry no [ __ ] gears on this bike i don't even know the bike had gears in the first place okay i hear them start laughing at me you guys were laughing i wasn't here for this i was live who else was here everyone else i was in the back oh okay you were here but you weren't here i didn't even know this happened yeah so you start laughing other people start laughing you're blowing my cover yeah that's [ __ ] up [Music] that's [ __ ] up but can i explain my side though yeah because you walk up and she goes yeah the bike there's something wrong with the gears and you go oh yeah yeah there's something wrong with the gear and she goes yeah it's clicking you go oh yeah it's clicking yeah yeah yeah yeah she goes yeah every time i pedal it makes like a weird noise like i feel like it's gonna fall apart he goes yeah weird noise gonna fall apart oh man yeah that's bad it seems like it's the gears yeah i want to know how how little i know about fixing [ __ ] i went up to the bike and i literally grabbed the pedal and i just rotated that circle i rotated the pedal 360 degrees right and my girls just look at me she's like what are you doing i'm like yeah sometimes the clicking comes with the pedals these pedals can get all messed up but it might not even be the gears in the first place i literally am looking for the gears on this bike okay i pressed one of the buttons at the top the horn went off i didn't know she had a horn everything's like hidden in this goddamn bike okay what i was just trying to do is get her back to the city once we get back to the city not in front of you guys i can go take it to the bike specialist and a bike specialist can fix 100 yeah that's how we do yeah gotta laugh me in front of my girl okay you know what i'm saying taylor that's disrespectful she knows i can't fix [ __ ] okay she got i've almost called him henchman handyman she got him i don't even know the name or the people to fix the [ __ ] she got handymen in and out of the building disrespecting me in my own home hanging [ __ ] paintings i can't even hang a goddamn painting and the fact that their names are handymen makes it so much worse why because it got andy in it no but literally if she's in front of being like i need a handyman around here you ain't handy or a man yeah i need a man that can yo wait oh and i just got the handy because andrew yeah okay now you high taylor you are [ __ ] hot listen my point is you know it's a rough patch in our relationship that we're trying to get through okay this this idea that we're not gonna be able to do everything i can't do everything she can do everything mm-hmm you know what i mean how simple is that i'm not gonna be able to fix everything guys sometimes you gotta order takeout you gotta order well now she can she can kind of chef i'm not gonna lie she's pretty good let me tell you this yeah yeah thank god you're rich that's what i'm saying i get rich so that i can afford to pay people to do [ __ ] i can't do yeah yeah you know i mean she got to be skilled you know on that handyman it's so handy if she messes up some of them skills you ain't a handyman you're a wallet man and what would you rather have at the end of the day what would you rather have at the end of the day the guy who could fix [ __ ] or the guy that could pay somebody to fix whatever he needs a gift in a rough economy you know when the american dollar might not be worth the same as it always is but you win silver money so whatever i put a little money in silver that [ __ ] doing horrible nothing's worth anything anymore it might come down to a time where we need to be a little bit handy right okay let's have a conversation about what taylor brought up this morning before her crazy other question i don't even know how she got to which is how often do we have sex a week that's what you asked how often do we have sex week now i'm assuming you're asking this because you either want to be having sex more or less per week is that correct this is a reflection of your relationship potentially i think you are projecting oh my god i think you were projecting right now now there's nothing there's not saying there's anything wrong with it exhausting it must be for your boyfriend to [ __ ] you with that huge dick that [ __ ] is a workout yo he probably gets a sore pelvis afterward right here these muscles it's exhausted it's like battle ropes at the gym do that [ __ ] you know what i mean i'd be exhausted too you know that is crazy have you ever played mario brothers 2 i don't know you know the one you all know the one mario brothers two when they're yanking like the turnips out of the ground i know you're talking about the vine that grows all the way to the sky yeah that's that's your man but anyway so the point is you you want to know what is the average amount of sex per week how often are you having it and i'll tell you if it's below or above this is personal you brought it up well technically doesn't it depend on how busy each pizza yes it does so average we're going with the average that's why we said you're at a happy ones to agree yes okay so we're going to say so monday through friday right no no what do you think is taylor what do you think about what's wrong with this girl what's wrong with this video i'm offering you up six months a week i mean monday yeah yeah i worry about this monday the whole week that's some black [ __ ] you gave yourself three fists of a week that's crazy that's crazy that's self-loathing honestly you deserve the full seven days probably [Music] like talking to them sorry she was thinking about that go four to five what the [ __ ] yeah i'm gonna play under on that one because it depends right after about twice a day oh my god monday to fridays a day what now two times having sex in one day and one 24-hour day are you talking about you have sex at night and then you have sex like lunchtime the next day are you talking about each insertion yeah okay that's a little bit that's within a 24-hour period i'm not going crazy okay so what i would four to five times a week right that is above average is it yeah how long have you guys been in a relationship almost a year almost a year okay yeah i think that's above hours how often do you have sex a week i'm gonna be honest when she said how many times with a s i was like i'm in trouble how am i gonna fix this guys how do i skate out of this one looking cool once a week probably isn't that tough to have an average but if we're averaging less than once a week .75 hold on once a week less than once a week so you go sometimes yeah realistically more than once a week but it's time 36 you know what i mean like it's a lot it's a lot yeah times a week bro i need it it's not every week somebody should do this how long do you have a batteries it really depends yo i hate all these depends it depends yeah it depends the weeks you have sex more you have six more weeks you have sex less you have sex less all right i know it depends on a good week i'm four to five four to five [ __ ] that's a record saying [ __ ] and on a bad week it'll be just once nah bro yeah so this is what your boy's out here with two but this is that's how i do it tuesdays and thursdays yeah i pull up to magnolia projects i'm not playing games but that's why i got it monday night friday date night tuesdays okay i gotta give dick so two times a week and that's great i love that because i don't want sex to ever feel like a chore do you remember [Laughter] hey is that what i said bro tuesday's saturday is what i meant but there's uh no no i what i meant by like chore meaning like ugh we gotta [ __ ] oh yeah yeah yeah i would rather be dying to [ __ ] starving for a [ __ ] and then we do it then be like ah we just gotta have sex like get it over with does that make sense what i'm saying though like i interviewed when i said monday through friday as in like maybe once monday through friday throughout that week and then on the weekend it's on the popping like i told my man this past week and i'm like we're gonna have i haven't seen how old is your man 33. i'm okay with that how old are you he works out a lot how he has stigma but he's i'm 29. well technically 28 because i didn't count this year but you know wait you can't just not count okay you can't just comment on everything she says the whole podcast just becomes this okay i don't even know where to begin mark how long often do you have sex well that's okay all right we're done we've got two broccoli yeah as a young buckaroo you should be having sex tonight that's the thing that's that's different is that you like you come twice a week you do yeah whereas like so all sexual interactions probably like three to four a week okay but then also like you know oh deal stop it stop with your little [ __ ] [ __ ] get out of here this guy's gay dude no no [Music] it's just so stupid well he was about to say he's like sometimes i'll just go down on her or nothing no oh that's what you said excuse me what's wrong with that but get nothing in return no why did you think he was going to say that yeah well what were you going to say yeah oh jerk off yeah what's even crazier that is crazy how are you three to four hold times you're a maniac dude that's crazy fresh out of college this is what he would do that makes perfect sense nah he's a nympho son that's nipples right there that's crazy most colleges guys are jerking off once a day i'm not saying it's right but that's what they're doing no they're not dude i was in college bro we all showered together we jerk off every other day together we had a dorm room we would all shower we all be talking ourselves in the shower one dude would just drop out of the conversation for no reason and we'd be like ow it's different from women yeah you grew up in a different time dog yeah what do you mean pre-instagram now like now there's way more things to jerk off to yourself guys are just like chilling they're scrolling instagram and they go oh yeah this would be fun i am bored i do want dopamine yeah exactly that's how it is whereas like i feel like when you went to college it was like oh yeah i'm gonna go like go [ __ ] well we had facebook dog you know what i mean we had people and we had like real life women that we could talk to and that wasn't weird you weren't out there getting you know finger girls and [ __ ] in college i think you said you finger the girl cards you ain't finger girl in college didn't you have a girl in college or some [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and you didn't hear me oh that driver yo she got that stroke that denim on denim stroke hey that bitch's left arm muscle went numb the way she was getting stroked out hey you might need aspen [ __ ] because you finna catch this stroke you got levi stroking her bro hold on but you're gonna leave out of the day no no bro dry humps did you dry finger oh you rub around yeah yeah she got that dry finger you know you gave her that dry finger oh bro like i was looking for a stain where are you at let it go [Music] oh no check the inseam on my pants please that's what you were doing bro dry humps yeah all day uh just gonna stop me from dry humping this [ __ ] yeah she still probably feels it i i feel you bro what do we got man what's going on bro never letting taylor start a podcast with a question again ever i think we opened up more no just teasing all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because your girl deserves a night of her life and honestly i just said that i don't even know if she deserves a night of her life but you might as well give it to her or maybe it's a girl that you don't know okay maybe it's a girl that you're about to date maybe it's a girl you just match with online these girls deserve the best dick that you got okay and we're gonna bring that out of you very simple with blue chew all right same active ingredients it's in cialis viagra all that other stuff it makes you the hardest you've ever been gives you control in the sack and trust me there are zero complaints from the ladies bluetooth.com all you gotta do is use that promo code flagrant all right you know what you're gonna do you're gonna get it for free you just gotta pay five dollar and that's it you can get free hard dick and you're gonna give that first impression or last impression or middle impression you're gonna make tons of impressions in them ovaries if you got that blue chew okay bluetooth.com flagrant is the promo code five dollar shipping and you get it free let's get back to the show all right so we got a bunch of stories we can cover let's talk about there's some rapper nuke bizzle who was arrested for illegally obtaining a 1.2 million in jobless benefits like corona relief stuff whoa whoa yeah i think you're going to see a lot of these types of stories man you're talking about like ppp loans i think people people apparently right yeah he was also accused of like faking identities and collecting those checks as well oh my god i think this is an important story okay i think there's a lot of people that [ __ ] with that people this is black people doing white people crimes it's kind of fake identities and it's interesting this is a sign of progress i think he's bragging about this kind of crime and that's what [ __ ] him up like if you're a rapper and you're like yeah i like mug some guy i robbed someone i got back into someone's house stole jewelry it's like oh yeah that goes with the territory as soon as you're like oh yeah it defrauded the government out of millions of dollars [ __ ] you more yes that's the rap territory no that's a very interesting fact right which is like that's the rap territory is that is that we always hear about the rap police right have you heard about these so the rap police apparently these police are just listening to rap albums all day and waiting for rappers to talk about [ __ ] up [ __ ] that they did so they could arrest them for it right right not a lot of rap police arrests couple bobby schmurder but was schmurder arrested because of that or were they already following him and they tried to use the lyrics in the song as justification i think they were already following i think they're already on them right yeah i guess my point is you see these rappers get arrested for flexing on the ground right because there's somebody else as well was like flexing that they got some crazy ppp loans or something like that but it's interesting that this is what they're getting clipped for when people are like yo i'm out here i'm selling drugs i got money put the money that nobody really gives a [ __ ] what do you think it is boys i think that's where the government is like no no now you're stealing from us well the irs just don't play games i think they got kodak for that didn't kodak have or weren't rappers putting a lot of money in their they're putting like a lot of money in like their instagram posts and all of a sudden they're like yo this is somebody who's like this is fake money i just want to like yeah that was these guys they tried to put it up but they don't know if they put it up after the video was up and they were getting heat or if it was before but they said oh this isn't real money these are props but some other rapper did that as well i just wanna let everybody know remember that happy birthday it was a similar story because they were coming for him yeah yeah that's interesting a whole division of the government just to like look after people flexing on the ground making sure it's legit yeah you know what though trump did say i paid 700 in taxes because i'm good at the rules that you guys made yeah here we do this yeah yeah get good at it get a good return uh what is it called get a good account he says i did it legally this guy's like nah i'll just be defrauding y'all you see what i mean he's not i got played by the rules he was so blatant about it he was like posting about it on his instagram and then made a music video yeah and oh this guy's trying to get it the song is called edd which is which is just like i don't know it's like the money that he got it's like the loan that he was able to fraud out and made a music video about him bragging about he got rich off of stealing money from the government who was that who's that other guy first day out or some [ __ ] like that oh yeah t grizzly yeah no no the other one he was like rapped about the guy he murdered oh and he's on the run yeah he was another one but i was actually some real [ __ ] though like he murdered somebody and then he rapped about it then he was on the run cops were after him and he was like on the run a couple weeks right he'd be a fire ass album while you're on the run it was wild it was called the race and he was literally rapping in front of like wanted posters of himself yeah that's ill it was like cowboy [ __ ] but then they got him then they got him they're always going to get him it was kind of sad story he's like 18 he's in jail forever he killed some guys it's kind of wild ah that's funny but yeah but the song was wild in the chase like everyone loved it but this kid did the same thing he made this song about stealing money from the government i don't know if it's good though i haven't listened to it we gotta bump it anyway um you also know what happened with cardi right i'm getting back with you yeah yeah i never understand this man i think we probably talked about the podcast before but like and i know there's a comic that had a joke about it i'm not sure who it is but like if you're a girl that says all men cheat you can't really break up with a guy for cheating on you that's true because the replacement guy according to you is also going to cheat because you say all men cheat yeah so you're putting this you're putting yourself in a situation where you got to accept cheating because that's all there is right i mean you could be perturbed by it but if you want to live your life with a man and your belief is that all men cheat you're gonna get cheated on so when it happens why are you so shocked and whoever you get you ain't gay you're gonna get cheated on yes any man you get with can cheat on you because all men cheat ex you could get a girl if you don't want to get cheated on if that's the number one cause now i don't believe all men sheep because i know i don't cheat okay i've cheated not on my girl but i've cheated in the past you know what i'm saying so maybe they do i don't [ __ ] know you know maybe almost was out here dry humping girls back in the day that's why they got assless chaps exclusive dry hair though behind girls in texas just rubbing up on them so their butt cheeks but faithfully faithfully though back in the day back in the day i'm saying back in the day right what i said akash would make assless chaps he'd be grinding up on you on the club you walk home butt cheeks just hanging out your jeans what they do in dallas bro that's where they came up with it that's what i just said mark if you were listening so point is can you be mad at cardi if she has that belief no because no girl wants to amend the cheat no i'm not saying any girl wants her man to cheat and i don't think all girls have this belief system i think there's a lot of girls that believe that guys will be faithful but they also believe that guys have cheated right and i think there's guys that believe that girls will cheat a lot of times people are unhappy in relationships they cheat right but if you're one of these girls who's like yo men and [ __ ] they all cheat and you decide to be in a relationship with a man you can't break up with him for cheating that makes no sense especially divorce because where are you gonna go you married this guy now you get divorced get with another man who's poorer and cheats now you get cheated on by a poor guy don't you really get cheated on by a rich guy well i mean that's what she did huh she took him back because he bought her a [ __ ] rolls royce or a phantom or some [ __ ] like that what is that she said it's not why come on everybody saw the kobe ring rip but that was a big ass rock that he gave to yeah yeah he gave her an infinity stone nowhere bro and that's what you got to do yes so tony just reverse that [ __ ] but this is what you're missing though like she's definitely gonna take probably he she took offside back before cheating it's just like winning so if you're off so when do you stop so here's the question if you're offset and you know she gonna take you back what reason are you gonna stop cheating but that's you took me back so what is it you cheat five times and then you don't take me back well here's the thing the the inflation gift cost is rapid rising you know what i mean the first time he cheated on no [ __ ] rolls royce this time as a rolls royce next time is the [ __ ] kobe ring then it's a hot like it's gonna the cost just keeps going up you think who they cheat on also affects the price no i don't really i don't so if you just cheat on like some random group yeah we know it's if you look make them look embarrassed that's all they're embarrassed every time you cheat that's gonna they're just gonna be embarrassed but maybe maybe it's all about perception because publicly you get this rolls royce so now you look better whereas before and he looks a little like simply or whatever the word is and before you look like [ __ ] you got cheated on you get disrespected but now you're getting rolls royce in front of everybody and now your perception's a little bit saved maybe it's just how am i perceived by people i don't want that to be i think that matters i 100 agree with you i think that that's huge and for everybody yeah especially a girl but it's just a weird thing like what reason do you have not to cheat if you want to cheat in the future if she's taking you back a few times now i'm i'm not against taking someone back for cheating though because like i think a lot of people don't realize a lot of people that judge that not taking someone back for cheating are in like high school relationships they're not adults that have a child mm-hmm different you know different it's different like one night where you [ __ ] up is gonna dictate the rest of your child's life yeah it's also the nature of the cheating if you're in like a ten year affair with some other random person boom if you get your dick sucked in the back of a pizza hut i don't think that that's something that's maybe like completely breakupable now if my girl did that obviously i would break up with her because she could die somewhere but that's fine and i'll steal the child i will steal the child it'll be amber alert you'll see andrew schultz amber alert amber alert i got my uber uber amber alert real talk that's the bias uber xl little more room for my kid that you tried to take away from me my [ __ ] dixon pizza [Laughter] how y'all forgive us for cheating you know real time i'm going through it right now that's crazy because men it's different hormonally matters you're gonna be in a whole relationship yeah real talk girls are like i don't want you to be in a whole other relationship and have a whole thing if it was just a one-time you know little hook-up i could maybe forgive that but if you had another family on the side i could never forget that i hope you got a family on the side if you cheat on me yeah cause then i get free that's perfect time just found a silver lining but not only do i get free time at least you love this [ __ ] you sucking his dick yeah it's not you lust him imagine you lusted a dude you're just looking at some guy you don't even know now you sucking his dick [Music] i'll throw up just thinking about that nah but if as a dude what if you're cheating i'm starting to dislike my girl she didn't even do nothing this is like when she's literally building up a story of my girl doing that and she didn't even do it and i don't like her now this is how girls feel when they wake up from a dream and they found out that you cheated oh [ __ ] this is what you're doing that's what i feel like i'm not even going to watch the bachelor with her tonight bro i'm supposed to go and watch the bachelor i'm watching love on the spectrum instead of something hey drew man a man yeah don't punish yourself don't beat yourself up yeah i mean i gotta tell you something i watch the bachelor and don't take that away we got this prehistoric [ __ ] trying to get married on this what is she doing she's cheating on all these things i'm a tour mentally of course you are you're 38. that's how you got 30 let me say some time's up she got a whole omelette with them eggs down there let's be honest she said they say kobe pospo on the back what i just say was that alone i just gave you papa no but kobe postponed the bachelor what two months or something like that she don't got it no this is valuable time what you doing yeah i know is she trying to run a ppp scandal on the bachelor really y'all didn't know about what's going on the bachelor this season allegedly she got a relationship with one of the dudes already the dudes on the show and they're like yo we're just going to work it out and i'm going to show you this guy in my life well i can corroborate the story because i watch the whole episode dude crazy dale bro yeah dale's a pretty [ __ ] dale yeah i don't blame her dale could do better honestly i was saying that the whole time and then i started to look at this girl she kind of as trump would say she kind of she's really dude she's she's got she's got the milkshake can you pull a picture up yeah get a picture of her yo she's got the milkshake bro so she got the moles she's got the best malts yo trump got to stop being so likable bro sad it's a problem yo it's a problem tell me this isn't likeable his first security briefing this just came out his first security briefing he's sitting down he's in like mar-a-lago like his hotel or whatever like that he's sitting with the security advisors and they're giving him all the secrets yeah right it's a to get in you have to have a code it's like a secret code meeting you can't get to the meeting it's just the [ __ ] who know everything know who we gotta kill know who we already killed know what happened to jfk know about ufos oh yes everything tupac okay know exactly where he is in cuba yeah alive okay he's in the meeting in the middle of the meeting he stops it he waves a waiter in to the security briefing meeting and goes guys we've got amazing milkshakes okay the most amazing milkshakes you've ever had do you guys want to malt does anybody want a malt do you guys want them all anybody want i'm gonna have a milkshake orders a [ __ ] milkshake in the middle of the security meeting i tell you for sure i would have been looking around if i'm security like i could kind of go first i want a milkshake i'm a little i get thirsty when i do this briefing nobody ever asks me you know how many times i've done this breathing i never had them all who wouldn't love a malt i'm saying you're laughing now because you know a little part of you is in that meeting like all right the country's gone but it's going away in a fun way i'll be like yo can i get the extra can i get the extra that you don't put in the game bro bring that tim bring that 10. i hate it when they try to keep the 10. don't do that to me that's disrespect that's like make that milkshake fit were you with me were you with me when i called them out bro you be doing that on the regular on a regular they tried to bring me the [ __ ] milkshake and then not bring the tin right i go hey bro they got the tin part what's the tin yeah okay so they have a metal mixing thing that goes into the milkshake blender okay and the reason it's metal is because that milkshake blender is made out of metal as well you could cut some [ __ ] up you could break glass okay so you make the milkshake and then you pour it into the glass and then you bring the glass to the people at the table sometimes you make too much milkshake sometimes all the time yes oh so there's extra milkshakes extra milkshake this [ __ ] gonna say to me uh no no that's how much was there i go what about the 10 is it the left and the 10. she goes no that's all there was i go with this [ __ ] i go i go are you telling me you made the perfect is that you saying that you eyeballed it and you made the perfect amount of milkshake what'd she say to me yes bro yes yes she stuck to her guns i got to believe that i knew it i'm gonna be able to do some [ __ ] like i was a white woman she didn't give you the milkshake she ain't giving me the rest of the millionaire god bless her though god bless her [ __ ] god bless her you haven't been touched jamba juice though they'd be getting that [ __ ] perfect though nah there's always extra at the juice there's no doubt about the jamba bruh there's extra that should be perfect they pour you in there look at the blender next time they're not giving you what you deserve real talk goddamn yeah but i don't want no more jamba juice why do i i don't know man jamba juice i don't trust what happened why i just don't think it's good for you i think it's all sugar you're talking about milkshakes right now the [ __ ] you got yeah you're getting the extra milkshake hey we're going to them for different used to go to jamba just think it was a protein shake i was like man this tastes miraculous that's all you that's on me you're like i didn't know you're a dumb lady that was giving her kids nutella every day and then sue nutella because she was like i thought it was healthy i did think it was healthy marketed as healthier but it had the nuts on it it had the nuts on it i thought it was just peanut butter i would eat that [ __ ] with the spoon i was literally spooning it you won can i be honest with y'all i would eat with my fingers bro i would go like that i'd scoop it out with my fingers yeah that's free corona dirty that's pre-corona that's pre-korean did you ever think like mcdonald's was healthy no they never marketed as such yeah but nutella it's chocolate no no it's marketing as such it's hazelnuts you're lying to yourself if you didn't choose chicken sandwich to be a little healthy yeah yourself that is a fact because chicken what could be bad in that it's just chicken in the bread and yo have you ever done this move you have something unhealthy like a burger or a chicken sandwich and then you go let me get lettuce tomato on it and then you think it automatically absolutely it don't make it healthier no no but in my mind it's like it's sadly it's chocolate it's nutrition it's salad i turn it into a sandwich i turn it to salad and the bread is croutons i just added vitamins on this shelf there was a time where old people were valuable to us like that's why old people just want to die from corona now because of y'all y'all never ask them any [ __ ] what no you've never bought something like from mcdonald's and you wanted to get water to make you feel more healthy oh no i do taylor what the [ __ ] is she gonna say if that water makes it more healthy i do i understand as opposed to soda or juice yes as opposed to soda i thought you thought like we were talking about what you did to the actual burger to make it healthier she extrapolated it i think i'm with you on this show no because that's because i know the mcdonald's is unhealthy so i get the water this is a very important point that we got to make and i didn't realize why old people want to die so bad from corona it's because your generation doesn't make them feel valuable our generation didn't have any information we weren't going to encyclopedia britannica that [ __ ] we will put up with all the racism because they're the only ones who knew things they knew things they knew that we go ask them questions what was the war like they would tell you it would be racist but it'd be very entertaining no but could their stories compare you ask your asian friends just step outside figure out the history real quick hey we're studying for world war ii test can you tell us what happened your grandpa come lumbering in real quick one foot missing because of that asian dude's grandpa took that [ __ ] off as a [ __ ] souvenir it's not a rabbit foot why they like feet so much that's a great point what is it about the feed asians binding them rabbiting them painting the toenails why do you gotta what's happening asians what do you know that i know too ninjas are always wearing sandals and [ __ ] oh my god easy access to the feed yeah it's an open toe culture it's an open soul culture should always be analyzing feet all day they can't help it and you know what i'm kind of with them i like it i like a foot too i like the good feet out there the bad ones can stay locked up put yourself in that [ __ ] have you ever seen a bound foot nah you've never seen a bound foot i don't stop saying it like that yo let me tell you something a nice bounce foot that [ __ ] wrapped how does that look it's wrapped up like creed's hands or what honestly it's not it goes like this say that's your foot these toes come under oh yeah yeah they miss yelling at that makes a nice little lollipop turn that foot into a lollipop okay that's a little dumpling get up that little get up that soup dumpling right there you got a nice little foot i'm trying to see nobody look at that that's a nice that's a kitkat break you off one break you off one bro look how delicious them little feets are what taylor don't judge other cultures why i should look like cauliflower yes i can't do it yo nah that's beautiful you don't want to talk about you don't like second toe longer guaranteed really don't like seconds no longer look at that girl's feet but why why because they're trying to grab onto a vine vine yes they're trying to grab onto them no they're going through the jungle bro it's crazy out there they're nice at jungles why do you think we lost vietnam great point we don't know about jungles yeah we don't know nothing about jungles akash what are we supposed to know about jungles how are we going to win a war in the [ __ ] jungle we don't know anything about jungles we're prairie people we're prairie people we're planes people we're city people we're out here in a how are we going to win [ __ ] war yeah name a jungle in america name one it doesn't exist hey that's disrespectful they say yeah there's a high concentration of vietnamese out here that don't mean it's a [ __ ] jungle goodness gracious you have one bowl of what is it called fur you don't know what pho is no pho you ever heard you ever heard donald trump you're talking about donald trump ordered it how would he order at a vietnamese restaurant you look so lost that's what happened donald trump is banging out little thai boys like what would you like to do donal i want to my rudy download accent i don't know what would you like to do donal is that a good accent good vietnamese you didn't think that was good vietnamese accent i don't know what being mean sounds like well then how the [ __ ] could you judge the accent if you don't know what it sounds like yeah taylor [Laughter] taylor taylor taylor did you work on radio today why do you sound like a robot come on man you're more robotic sailors taylor that's the robotic people yo you all know what they were talking about oh oh you guys think they ain't gonna win this wall this is the jungle baby dude if anybody else is thinking about guns and roses sing it we're going through the jungle we got fun and games no what's the disease was it no what was that [ __ ] up [ __ ] when we did chemical warfare out there was it yellow what typhoid no yellow fever no it's called yellow mustard gas or something mustard mustard gas yeah we did some [ __ ] up [ __ ] to the vietnamese bro yeah i can see that yeah i mean so this is why i talk to your grandma i'm trying to protect myself this is why talking to your grandparents about history sucks y'all don't talk to your grandparents anymore about anything okay because i could lose that's why they're ton kissing in [ __ ] retirement homes that's why there's mad herpes in retirement homes because you don't utilize them nothing better to do it better dudes just sucking wrinkles off each other dude they send you 25 once a year what the [ __ ] else they can do with the 364 days mm-hmm probably just pound puss oh that's actually a thing though yeah no he knows do you know the villagers we know it's a fact bro we know you know facts yeah okay yeah we got to talk to more old people have you spoken to your grandparents yeah i don't want to risk it i don't want to risk it i call her my mom you call her mum mum yeah you know what that means in vietnamese do you know what it means in vietnamese what the [ __ ] what does it mean i can't believe you don't know what it means that's a really bad word yeah yeah don't i wouldn't say that to your grandma yeah don't do it not good dude don't get your nails done and say that yeah do not say that don't be like what color do you want to get mom you can't oh okay i don't even feel comfortable yeah we might have to believe that there's one word to protect you we might have yeah what the hell what does it mean it's not good it's nice to send you something i don't know i don't i can't even text i don't know how to write i can't believe you call your grandmother that's something you call your grandma mum okay oh my god dude i don't like i think we should just move on from there that's you know players in general i just don't [ __ ] with and that's just yeah absolutely we didn't want you to bring this racist ass element into the podcast but too bad you've already done it okay wow what do you call your what do you call your granddad um i know i shouldn't have said it oh my god we're all thinking you don't just what do you call your granddad what yeah that's a little crazy i mean that's that's not anything in vietnamese but it is a little crazy the sound of the guns probably yeah yeah in the jungle i didn't want to say it dude i didn't want to say it he passed away he did yeah i'm so sorry from how long ago a couple years ago two couple no no that's it but longer than that longer than that okay so more than two six years that's way more than a couple like if you said to your boyfriend like yo we're a couple and then you told them but i also have four other boyfriends that's not the couple that i want you know i can i can uh have a competition with you um i never met any of my grandparents now who feels bad for who now now who feels worth now who made the cup podcast more sad yeah andrew's my mom actually i met my granddad once but i was so young i don't remember it but apparently he liked my mom so much that he told my dad that he would have smashed it out if he was his that's white family right there that's some white ass [ __ ] right there he's like yeah like that's respectful yo loki i think it's kind of like yo you did a good job but yeah i told you he said if i was 20 years younger you wouldn't have a chance with this woman i told his son that my dad charming that's like um saying to the girl you're pretty but in like a not over the line creepy way what yeah it's not over the line creepy you wouldn't had a chance doesn't mean i'll smash her out she just does yeah it does that's exactly yeah no i agree with what did he exactly say he said if i was 20 years younger you wouldn't have a chance with that woman in other words he was going to be the one [ __ ] down my mind man yeah that's kind of like that actually yeah that's taken to the extreme gosh how would you feel if some guy was like oh man if your girl was here like you wouldn't have a chance what would you think i got right i don't really know how the [ __ ] i'm holding on to be honest it's right now oh stop that [ __ ] we're not simping bro we're not simping bro you know i left her luggage in newark airport i was so happy when i heard that all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second because i'm tired of you guys drinking and feeling like [ __ ] the next day okay you don't have to do this this is a choice this is a choice nowadays okay we have a miracle vitamin it's going to clear all that up for you dhm okay dhm detox this is the thing you do you take it out with you you pop a couple of these pills when you're having your first couple drinks you pop a couple at the end of the night as well and you wake up the next day feeling way better i could go into the science a little bit i'm no scientist okay to be honest you already know i'm reading the copy they're telling me i just know from experience it's what i do when i go out and i drink and i feel so much better the next day simple as that what it actually does is it breaks down these toxins that are built up when you drink who gives a [ __ ] all i know is it works dhm detox you go to no days wasted dot co use that promo code flagrant it's no days wasted that co slash flagrant but use that promo code later you're gonna get it for 20 off simple as that do you want a drink do you want to not feel like [ __ ] yes then go let's get back to the show perfect place to drink is at my comedy shows i am going to be at acme comedy club in minneapolis minnesota this wednesday the day after this podcast drops through the week wednesday thursday friday saturday i'm also going to be at atlantic city comedy club shouts to emilio owner of new york comedy club we talked about last week i'm going to be there thursday november 12th both of these dates can be found on my website akashing.com aka shingh.com now let's get back to the show you know i left her luggage in newark airport i was so happy when i heard that i there's a picture of just you yeah and you're doing like a how would we describe the smile like a smirk maybe like a gym to the camera from the office yeah it was maybe a little something like that but i knew there was something behind it yeah that was not to be smiled about no it was dark so i read the caption and then in the caption it said um i left my fiance's luggage at the airport we're going to o'hare i'm at ewr she had the dog i had her carry-on somewhere along the lines i just dropped that [ __ ] maybe it was when i went to buy a kombucha anyway we got to chicago she's like where's the bag i'm like that's a good question what we gonna do so what's the punishment now ain't no punishment uh what's the punishment does she get mad he's buying the phantom he's gotta get her yeah full card to be on this [ __ ] is that a quarters actually now how how'd you get her back on your good side hey whatever clothes you need we got that just go get them couple days clothes oh she lost her own bag son she did that [ __ ] herself probably bro set up you guys i'll be honest that [ __ ] was on me no dog no she kicked that [ __ ] away she knew you were gonna forget cause you were too busy staring at her because you think she's so beautiful you never want to take your eyes off her that's a good ass point you know what i mean who cares about that stupid ass luggage it's not as beautiful as she is yeah you're just staring at your girlfriend that you love so much meanwhile she was taking her bag launching it out the [ __ ] window so she can go to goddamn products that's it and think about that a brown person leaving their bag in the [ __ ] airport you know how terrifying that probably was for everybody else yeah thought has crossed my mind if you see unattended luggage they say that [ __ ] every 50 seconds if you see unattended luggage this guy's just leaving his luggage at kambucha yeah that almost sounds like how you always say explosion you just love her luggage you got your luggage listen this is a this is a big problem yo i'm not going newark no more yo where's tsa you just got bearded browns leaving their luggage all over the goddamn airport getting weird tea beverages yep that's a problem i wouldn't really cuss you the [ __ ] out hey what do you mean we're talking about the safety of american lives here they're just leaving luggage all over mm-hmm this is terrifying bro you found luggage oh my god we did have to pick it up well my brother-in-law picked it up i had my black brother-in-law go because i was like this is do not yeah if it was a brown one i'm gonna go full hurt locker on that [ __ ] yeah jump on top of the case bro [ __ ] was straight in tsa though checked in probably sniffed around so 100 i hope they did but we are we're in safe hands yeah we're in safe hands okay where'd you leave it at you don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know everybody keeps asking me gotta be asking them craziest questions did you retrace your steps asking me like i don't know what law school look here's the thing here's the thing but why didn't you check before you got on the plane why didn't you look at your hand and then walk with the bag though i will say there's no question yeah whenever i've forgotten a bag i think we did it when we were in la once or something yeah that's so stupid you know what's gonna happen let me tell you this whenever you you forget a bag did you go think back to like when you were walking around without your bag yeah and how happy and how happy and easy it is like you're just strolling with your kombucha taking your sips like donald trump at a security clearance meeting i mean it's just i don't want a kombucha you got extra hands for [ __ ] this time you realize right you look at your phone like you could just do everything so easily thinking i was like you should mad light yeah and i think i thought she put the [ __ ] suitcase in the overhead yeah did that [ __ ] for me huh uh-huh good for her she's struggling carrying stuff like you need help i gotta explain why did she realize when did she realize she didn't realize until we got off the plane uh-huh we're walking she's like oh [ __ ] my bag and then we go back to get it and then they asked the pilot to go to our seat and then i'm in my mind like oh my god yeah at what point that's when i was like did i not bring the [ __ ] man what do you start doing and what do you start with i hope i'm wrong okay and then hey who knows maybe they checked it in when they're like we didn't see a plane on there i'm like hey maybe it's at checkout now here's a question you know a hundred percent it's not gonna be a checkout i'm praying but somebody is like because i thought maybe i left it by the gate and they're like miss playing somebody's back throw that [ __ ] in there but really you know the whole point you were okay that's how desperate you were someone's gonna find your back i've never had a longer walk in my life yeah then from that gate to the [ __ ] what type of energy are you getting from her what type of energy you're getting from her what what there's no energy she's so far ahead of me she's so upset with me there's no i knew it wasn't gonna be there either you know she knew i'm gonna be and then when it wasn't there what was the first conversation that happened oh bro she what'd she say after the tears oh she started crying yeah yeah is she still holding all her stuff that she was supposed to carry that she didn't forget no i had that that's how you know you didn't have it because you're like i don't need any hands there's no bag there there's nothing there for me to carry okay so what so what is that she starts crying that's [ __ ] up that's super sad yeah super sad ah that's not as funny it'd be really funny if she just ripped it yeah that was like sentimental [ __ ] and then she ripped me a new one okay well i overheard her talking to her in tears and she's just like why would you not bring a [ __ ] bag that you came with like your sister tried to tell her like he's gonna be okay don't get too mad at him i think her sister's like hey don't be too hard on him she's like how do you not be hard on somebody who leaves a [ __ ] bag how do you not know you have to pay and she's yelling i'm in the seat next to her and i'm just like oh better her than me now did you did you did you guys smash it out did you when you were in chicago did you go for it did you just that night no that night yeah no i'm gonna be honest i don't think we've ever slept further apart than we did that night did you sleep good now because i'm a little because i know it's coming in the morning yeah i'm just like oh [ __ ] here we go i literally i never pray i'm a religious guy but i'm like hey gaga take care of what god takes care of when i tell you i prayed that night i said god please find this [ __ ] bag to everyone otherwise i'm gonna have to hear this for the rest of my life every god possible so i threw some [ __ ] up to other just in case hey send me to hell but don't put me here now i mean i don't need to be here now wait till i die okay when they find the bag she's cool everything's great she's like i just thought i lost it and there was some [ __ ] that she cared about in the bag she knows i'll be losing [ __ ] yeah but she thought it got stolen and then she's like this is the [ __ ] worst yeah that was hell then once you find the found the bad great vacation all right i'll buy you some new [ __ ] well let's go nordstrom yeah back it up yeah rack it up girl let's go to the discount section of the nordstrom rack and kill it bro i did not know there's a difference between nordstrom wrecks i know every [ __ ] discount retailer do you remember when you told me to go get pants from nordstrom one time just back in the day when i very first came through you were like yeah i need to go pick up pants from nordstrom i went to nordstrom rack and it was like goddamn black friday yeah like a hurricane just went through there's [ __ ] shoes on the [ __ ] like fan flying around nothing but ross i need shoes or whatever i need pants or whatever and then they're like no you got to go up the block and i walked into nordstrom yeah this place is like heaven yeah it's a little boujee it was beautiful yeah it's beautiful especially after you go to iraq oh my god yeah iraq is a little different you feel like iraq bro it's like what happened here hey bro you get you a personal shopper at nordstrom that's all right yeah you got [ __ ] that just help you shop and then they hooked it up and then you were good yeah then we were good once the bag wasn't lost we were good but i'm telling you before that i was searching on google this is how i knew i [ __ ] up i'm searching on google i i left my luggage at the gate google didn't even have anybody who related to me there was no google results just gave me the suicide prevention hotline it was like call this number if you're having tough thoughts that's when i was like i really done did some [ __ ] now i lose everything but it's normally my [ __ ] and i don't panic because i lose so much [ __ ] i'm used to it she don't lose nothing that's why we're together she normally keeps an eye on it and she was just like you went back to buy some [ __ ] who the [ __ ] would think you would forget the goddamn suitcase on your way back and i was like well what you gonna do are you married to me now wait did she go back to get it no no they had someone else my brother shout out to drew weren't you across the street chicago man there's a chicago man that was in custody after dangling off trump tower demanding to speak with the podium donald trump so i'm at the hotel did you ask him if he had your back no i thought that was i thought that was gonna be me if i didn't find that much okay this guy's got a great idea yeah brilliant my girl would throw me out there by my neck that's what i thought was gonna happen dangling but they didn't even nobody cared was the crazy thing i'm in chicago right across the street shouts to kirk the hotel employee's an [ __ ] so he was like a fan he was like oh this wild across the street go check this out people are just walking by nobody gives a [ __ ] i see 60 cop cars everywhere else in the world you see 60 cop cars people like yo what's going on i think so much [ __ ] happens at trump tower people like yes another [ __ ] trying to kill so much [ __ ] happens in chicago man it's [ __ ] 40 deaths a weekend or whatever in chicago yeah it looks like nordstrom rack in there dude south side hey this trump tower though i don't know i don't even know nothing surprises me anymore the guy just sat there for hours nobody cared oh he was on like a harness yeah oh get out of here with that [ __ ] i don't want to see any of that that's why nobody cared it's like this mad uneventful i went out there thinking of some big [ __ ] took a little video 15 seconds in i was like ah nobody gives a [ __ ] yeah he's not gonna fall yeah talk to nobody do you want to see them fall though it's a little uncomfortable i wouldn't mind seeing that guy fall yeah oh my god you didn't hear anybody go like jump jump like nobody was saying that's not new york man new york would be like man stop wasting my [ __ ] time who would push you new york ain't playing chicago just like as a guy trump let's go i did see mad black people the night before partying at trump towers and i was like tess yo y'all willing right now partying in what way just like you know coming out of trump tower like it's a club you know you see people hanging out outside yeah trump towers fancy mad black people and i was like huh um what do you think that's ice cube in his people oh must have been yo must have been they platinum planning what you got for us what you got for us al so this uh married father of three he wears skirts and heels to work because he feels that clothes shouldn't have a gender here we go happy honest with you so this is like different because it doesn't fall under cross dresser no he's a transvestite it's called he's a cross-dresser oh it is he's just he doesn't think that they should have oh no so he's like removing gender from clothes you know i want to talk [ __ ] about this but at burning man i dress way crazier than that so it's like i really could say yeah but that's burning man yo it's like you're burning your manhood that's nothing that's just what i do i just purge that [ __ ] on fire i get all the get out of my system for one week a year oh it's like the purpose it's like the purge but with dicks in his mouth i can never [Music] at least the foot rub feels good them tights are probably uncomfortable yeah walking around with a bow and [ __ ] they're bowling they feel great bro yeah now we do dress that like ladies bro you guys but it's fire but it is fire okay what else we got man so this was a story a couple weeks ago what's his face mel gibson is making passion of the christ too how [Laughter] the latest part yeah but how he comes back so it's going to be just a fictional story like walking on the water wait that was before that was all before okay maybe he's a prequel maybe he's a prequel but it can't be two if it's a prequel well he's doing it like star wars maybe it's like all out of order and [ __ ] yeah maybe it's passion of the christ one but it's getting released second yeah it's a prequel hold on one second come in the passion of christ resurrection no he comes back i mean what did he do after coming back he just came back he said what up and then he dipped now he went to hell for a minute and like had to like atone for some sins and he came back up and like kicked it with the boys for a little why he had to atone for sin that's jesus yeah that's the whole point bro he did everybody loved the world he was like yeah go do that [ __ ] for them oh he you know he fixed them i didn't know he went to hell yeah and then he came back up and he had to go kick it with thomas doubting thomas who was like yo you didn't really you're not really jesus and he had to put his hands through the holes what do you mean oh because he didn't believe it yeah i was doubting thomas he's like you're not really jesus that sounds kind of fire to be honest he came back he did all that [ __ ] probably saved some people and then he went up to heaven nah that sounds kind of fire be honest so it could be a cool season yeah this is way better than the first part where he just got his ass busted for mag long and just straight disrespected like he wasn't the son of god yeah why would they even make the first one some but his dad sent them to hell yo dads be rough roy jones jr's dad was tough on him roy jones was damn near jesus in the ring bro that's proof that jesus was black keep going because white dads y'all don't punish each other that's true that's true yo hold on no they don't time out yeah yeah it depends crazy it depends there's some tough aspects they definitely are yeah you're talking about like hipster like or like hippie soft like new like new york liberal dads but then like down south football coach dads who think that they're easy on their kids yeah exactly come on bro i don't know them country whites how was your day my dad was soft as [ __ ] he was mad he's new york liberal bro he's soft super soft on us i think i was scared once on my dad really one time i was the only time what happened what'd you do i don't remember really he was just walking to my room loud that's the scary [ __ ] i knew i did something [ __ ] up and he was five full fuming on the way dog and he was not gonna be good when he got there what'd he do i don't know i think i called i don't i never called him on his bluff but i never what was he going to do is i thought he was going to beat me up and this was back in the day when you could call the police on your parents there was like a hotline like that yeah there was a highlight for like crazy for a minute there was like a rumor going around that like kids had done it like everybody had a friend who had a friend like it was like working for the cdc but back in the day it was like calling up your parents beat you up hotline and uh and uh i knew the number and i was ready you would know the numbers i was i had that [ __ ] down like it was a contra code up down up down left right a b a b a b select start it was go i was putting them all in jail i was putting them all in jail yo my dad beats my as you go to [ __ ] prison and uh he didn't even get punished and you had the number on cube that's probably why i was like right dude i'll use the [ __ ] nighttime minutes you won't you won't but then you realize you really got no leverage and he didn't beat my ass never i never really got my ass maybe because you checked him because you knew the [ __ ] contra codes i think i might have broke your mom didn't it my mom might have tried to beat my ass she was a little more rough on me she beat my ass emotionally she beat my eyes emotionally by like just not loving me for the first 20 years of my life mind tricks mind tricks that's effective yeah that's effective my mom's just like a cold ass scottish woman like what does that mean like she's loving and [ __ ] but she's also cold as [ __ ] but how does she trick you like i need to know the no no you don't need to learn then you're going to make a comedian [Laughter] no my mom was very sweet but we also drove her crazy like any kid though yeah nah come on i was a little wild ass boy i got my andrew we're not talking about kids you're talking about andrew he was snitching on his parents at six years old [ __ ] calling him i snitch on my parents but my mom was also sweet as [ __ ] like she would like hide out on babysitters to make sure they were babysitting right why not when you act like uh i never told you all this wait she was i never told you she was spying on me i think you once started dope but like uh my my mom like she would hire a babysitter and this is when i was mad young and then she would hide out in the bushes in the park and just wait and see if the babysitter was doing [ __ ] [ __ ] with me i mean that's because they didn't have videos or cameras back then exactly and then she found a babysitter who was doing [ __ ] [ __ ] with me the babysitter would just leave me in a swing oh wait for an hour yo well she didn't push me nothing you know what's [ __ ] up about this it wasn't even cell phones back then she was just sitting there doing nothing too i was like yo you could have had something fun to do push me [ __ ] not playing angry birds or nothing right there's literally i get if you have a phone if you like this and not pay attention fine but she was sitting there bored as [ __ ] with me look at each other like yo you want to play or not you going to play i don't have a pump yet i need a pump this way we need you i did not see that flip hell's [ __ ] up your mom just let you sit there the whole hour that's all so [ __ ] up my mom told me the story oh she's like she goes she goes and i and i watched her for an hour you're just sitting there you're almost crying the whole time and i was like yo that's [ __ ] up but why the [ __ ] did you not step in yo it's just your mom you with some random chicks staring at each other all three of us bored out of our goddamn minds wasted a whole hour your lives never didn't have a phone either she wasn't playing i know tapper on the shoulder after half what you thought someone's going to change you thought 45 minutes kicking and she's not pushing me that's hilarious it's unbelievable bro that's unbelievable my dad's probably hiding out somewhere else like i wonder if she got a good babysitter for our boy your grandpa's watching your dad whole line of distrust not my grandpa watching my mom like damn look at her behind her i like to get behind her bush that's just watching let me keep my eye on this [ __ ] creep make sure you're not trying anything on my wife wow that was a real stand up are you the scottish standoff bro so yeah your kids not a standoff there's a bunch of people standing around not loving each other you go first no you do it you do it oh my gosh oh yeah my loving scottish family we love it's just different we broke that black family is that is that like nah but brad i feel like black families have so much like love in the culture like it's uh no we do but yeah at the same time you know we get on people's nerves and everything else like this [ __ ] yeah my dad's side is super loving and i'm glad that that's kind of like what we passed passed down there are tons of things i got from my mom's side like just like wittiness and busting balls that's all from yeah scots are nice at that they are yo the women are crazier than the dudes i mean 100 the men in the family were like tough like union working you know working class dudes they're not keeping up with these girls bro and now you just knew aunt annie nobody could keep up on edith nobody could keep up aunt annie was this big like brooding you know r.i.p but she kind of looked like groot a little bit oh my god r.i.p you know what i'm saying but like but she but she would walk in a room and then just slice everybody up bro she would come every summer and just slice every you walk in a room she finds something and it was like that's where i learned it i really do i was like i had to survive i was survival mode bro yeah yeah yeah interesting that's why black people do the dozens right it's like you need to have somebody that you bust balls with if you're gonna learn it you tell people that never like had that type of relationship they just don't know how to do it yeah you know what i mean i'm trying to think of like certain people that like don't like they get upset when you make fun of them yeah they kind of shut up or get defensive yeah well they can't just laugh at themselves yeah like i'm trying to find who i don't know woke white women yeah and and also like it can come from like a baby sometimes a lot of times it happens with women as there's like an overprotection i understand that too like you have this daughter that you love so much right you don't want anything bad to happen to her ever right she's your little baby or whatever it is but in the way you kind of protect her and then stop her from developing these skills which is the ability to protect herself you're not always going to be there protecting your daughter you know and some of you got to get her feelings hurt a little bit if she hates seeing her get her feelings hurt her crying they'll probably [ __ ] crush you yeah but it's important for her to do that and almost better she gets her feelings hurt at home from the people she loves the most yeah because nobody's going to be able to [ __ ] with her the way that you can i feel like to spoil bratz though it is like because i had older siblings they you have older brothers i have older brother and sister i think the most important thing at least for me like dating but like the most important thing that a girl can have is an older brother because it's because she has one dude and his friends she has men that she has to if she wants to hang out with them win over without using sex it's very easy when you're an attractive girl right to like win over and like get guys to pay attention you know what i mean like if if you want a guy to pay attention to you you could say the dumbest story in the world and they're just going to sit there and they go oh that's fascinating but your brother's friends it's not like that be funny or we're making fun of you yeah pretty much right so then you learn oh [ __ ] i got to be funny i got to be more economical with these stories this but i have like cousin like boy cousins all the other stuff you're a close family that's like akash like you you always tell me all of your cousins are like extended brothers sisters yeah we didn't even know what cousins were growing up that's just brother sisters yeah and it'd be like third cousins i'm like that's my brother and then americans are like what the [ __ ] are you talking how are you guys relating i'd be like i'll be honest i don't know but i know that's my brother that's what look but then you got this big ass family everybody just shits on each other and that's how you get tough i think yeah so it's completely reasonable it's completely okay it's like i think white people are very specific and it's not even trying to be racist you're just very specific about how you're related to each other no no i mean like in terms of how you rip on each other oh you go because it's so funny because when i hear about like the stand-up scene which is blowing up in india yeah but whenever i hear about it from like india comics they say that there's like a political correctness there's a political correctness but you can [ __ ] on each other as individuals mercilessly okay which is weird it's like identity [ __ ] like don't [ __ ] on my political culture or i guess my religion probably because there's so much conflict built into the history religious religion wise yeah because you won't make fun of a fat person or whatever i don't really see like triggered [ __ ] like that maybe like the uber liberals in like mumbai which is like their new york you know i mean they'll but like the average person you're making fun of how they look they don't give a [ __ ] okay good yeah because i was thinking was always confusing me you always say how like ruthless your uncle was to you and [ __ ] vicious but and then when i hear that these people out there saying like yeah the comedy's really pc it what do you mean i thought culturally you guys just go at it culturally we go at it but weirdly and i think again it's just a lot of conflict built into the region like religion wise and so there's high stakes with everything that said because you're like on the verge of war if you're talking about politics yeah and that's where we get sensitive but if you don't make fun of a fat person i've never seen that become a thing what i mean al what you got up here i know akash added this stuff good so some indian teenager possibly creates the treatment for covert 19. yeah probably no more come on bro she's from she's from the same suburb where i graduated high school she obviously doing much better than i did but she came up with something that could be a treatment for colvin not like a vaccine but it like bonds to the the covet ii whatever like protein and then it essentially like deactivates it i think and then it stops the negative symptoms for like [ __ ] yo potentially twenty five thousand dollars she won is a part of some that's all she got is twenty five thousand dollars in the whole world i'm saying if that isn't the most indian payment for saving the world bro the best i can do is probably 25. what you're like you're lucky i'm she probably didn't feel like she earned it she didn't get haggled with she probably can't even want it like this man give me the money come on now you know you got to start at 20 and i worked my way up to 25 and now i feel like i really did something but how crazy that if she actually fixed this [ __ ] not cured but fixed yeah would you call that a fix yeah scroll down the article it says exactly what it does it was too sweet we don't need to read i think you did a good enough job scientists out here we don't trust what you say so but if she actually fix that [ __ ] she deserved more than 25 grand bro i was hoping they would take care of her somehow on a back end like you can't leave that [ __ ] like what is she legal no no no no she's not legal no she's in high school bro what does that mean i'm talking about citizen you know you're talking about [ __ ] bro and you just dry-humped something else for a second is that chair over you're weirdo that's what i said i don't know disrespect them bro you're the one sexualizing them that's a scientist yeah we're trying to make her legal dog yeah again it still sounds weird yeah i mean here you hear how trying to make her none of our brains went there yeah you just went there i'm protective of my women yo trying to make her legal hey she from frisco texas let me tell you something she got all the citizenship she rich oh that's a facebook why do you need no 25 000. she probably we good i'm good wait she's 14 years old she figured this out isn't she supposed to be spelling [ __ ] still all right what the [ __ ] is he doing having a 14 year old dunk on him like this yeah where's voucher yeah with any [ __ ] at all this goddamn [ __ ] spelling bee winner akilah and the beef figured it out two weeks what's going on fauci in between [ __ ] cheerleading practice you figure this [ __ ] out stop doing this i guarantee you ain't no cheerleading practice this is probably part of her academic decathlon homework i forgot a cure real quick all right anika her name is annika are you've got to say the first part of that name because if you don't that [ __ ] does not sound good right annika not to annika yeah anna take away the first a and then pronounce it what does it mean oh my god it's all good al it's all good ow i'm just not saying it that's how much respect i have i respect it good all right guys we're gonna take a break for a second to fix your brains your brains aren't optimized if you've noticed everything we do in the show is about optimization we want you guys as optimized as possible and a few of you guys were listening to i think it was last episode maybe a couple episodes ago last episode but we rooted okay your boys got rooted and booted we took that neuro route and we were on fire i mean killing it firing from all cinder cylinders is that the time wiring on all cylinders listen if i took the newer route i would know what that term is i would know that term is i didn't take it today okay i regret it because i don't know what that term is the point is your root is absolutely amazing all right it's got b6 it's got caffeine that's gonna be the thing that's spicy you're not gonna get the down that like um what is it called that little downer that comes after coffee crash yeah crash you're not gonna get crashed that caffeine crash even though it does have caffeine the b6 i'm telling you it's just a much better version of coffee let's be honest what it is and it's also pills so it's not going to stain up your teeth look at these yellows i need to get them cleaned up already newer root not playing around you go to neuroroot.com use the promo code you're gonna get 20 off try it guarantee studying gonna be way better you've got class and zoom you can't pay attention you'll root that thing up and you're good to go n e u r o r o o t dot com did i spell it right yes you did you struggle without that neural root though no dude i really did anyway let's get back to the show oh and while we're getting back to the show i want to announce something that um apparently we didn't take enough nero root this week because we didn't we didn't uh have enough time to go through all the um submissions submissions we didn't have enough time man we we saw some amazing ones that came in so far uh sneak o had a fire son yeah a lot of films had a fire one um we've seen a couple more pop in we haven't looked them over this week but by next week we'll be ready to go we'll know who that winner is and you guys are making it very difficult because you've been sending straight heat over here we're so grateful and we're so excited to get to work with it maybe we'll get to it by the patreon maybe that's a great point maybe we'll have it by friday maybe patreon.com flagrant2 that's where you can see it thank y'all and now let's get back to the show yo so everybody's upset at aisha curry because she became white and [ __ ] yo aisha curry really became white she just got a blonde hair yeah bruh she got some work done or something she looked good something looks like that also looks like a filter though yo the filter [ __ ] is correct yeah wait is that filter it's gotta be bro i mean she's looking like a piece of word bro the filter [ __ ] is crazy i was literally just the hair i was looking at a filter this week of like this little instagram model i was like yo she's so fun and i clicked on the filter i put that [ __ ] on my girl and she looked like the model oh no like literally the same exact thing and i was like oh no way better can we just get that for our glasses oh my gosh wow that's a good point if you get google glasses and then you put the filter on your glasses yeah you live in then you're gonna start [ __ ] a bunch of ugly [ __ ] but it's it's the same as shallow howl if you think they're beautiful that's all that matters how are you going to be a black man to say that bro you gotta you be taking that a little bit yo black dudes were taking on these big ass white women right taylor you never seen black dudes take down these big old heffa whereas trump would say [Music] [Laughter] right everywhere yes corona going everywhere we do that but the point is you take down these big ass whites them white buffalos you'll be taking them down bro not you but you know a whiter buffalo but it's a now they might think they're beautiful but they're shallow howl with it [Music] see what i'm saying that is i think that's best case scenario imagine you found a girl beautiful you don't care if anybody else found a you think she's the most beautiful girl in the world that's ideal scenario and then also this chick that might not have ever got any love in the past she goes oh my god oh she's gonna appreciate it so much she appreciate it so much yeah it's like the new turn the lights on she's like no put the glasses back on put the glasses on that's it yeah but then you procreate with them and then you have a pre-surgery kylie do it for your kids too yeah and you lose your kids create the world you want to live in yeah perceptions so just wear the glasses and then you're going to be like looking at them blow off will be looking out a little longer to that say what throw a five-year filter on that [ __ ] you just add five years oh you add well that's a good point for no hold on that way she's 25. 25 exactly but that's a good point yeah [Laughter] no but in all seriousness as we get older we can maintain our age in our eyes as well our girls can look at us as the young youthful men that we are and we can look at our girls as the young youthful women that they are when how long do you think will be before filters are in contact lenses well why do you maybe that's just built into neuralink beautiful you choose your filter you choose the world as you want to see it i love this why don't we have a beautiful sunny day even when it's not yeah there you go oh that would be kind of lit why don't you why don't you have a window in your apartment even though you don't oh [ __ ] i got florida ceilings now that's it your seasonal depression i i just fixed the world oh you should get twenty five thousand dollars you just fix the world you're like you're like a texas fourteen year old bro you really am like a texas fourteen-year-old for this guy yeah you gotta haggle your way up to twenty that's disrespectful guys i just saved you i saved you dawg i saved your whole life and you could put a filter in where you find all other women ugly so now you're guaranteed faithful yeah you put a filter in your girl who has her bag that you lost you know what i mean like it's perfect that's it you're like nah babe in my reality you have all your stuff so we gotta do this this is brilliant that might be the move no now that you bring it that way yeah thank you thank you taylor you're welcome everybody so aisha curry made herself white you want water yes anger all right stop the whole podcast is what it is i gotta leave a little for me um but so aisha looks a little bit white do you think if she made herself look a little bit more black then it would be more acceptable but because she looks so caucasian it was bigger nah then it'll be appropriation but she's black she's not fully black yeah i don't think she had black isn't she i think so half half ain't full point is i think everybody american and polish african-american and police oh that's where those cheeks come from maybe they'd be having like the wide like cheekbones oh where do they are oh no this is white romeo no this is white women yo i really do know his white women know taylor how do you feel about that he knows different white women's facial structures do you know how many times you've had to watch come leak off a face before you know exactly we need to have two different ipads with sounds for al and this one is out and then one is alex white woman whisperer i got a pumpkin spice latte right here hell yes pumpkins by season i love pumpkin pie yeah come on girl that might be white people's best contribution to the world ever what about freedom bro yeah freedom was lit we invented freedom i'm not trying to knock the other [ __ ] i'm trying to i'm trying to say pumpkin is ill but do you think pumpkin is so ill might be better better than free like you would rather no freedom you have no freedom and all the pumpkin spice pumpkin spice you want i'm gonna be into that what is freedom to you if not unlimited pumpkin spice that's an interesting point bro that's an interesting [ __ ] is mad versatile yeah i don't know what they talking about over there bro what y'all talking about this motherfucker's tapping his foot and it's just shaking the camera oh sorry taylor oh my god oh my god i just hear it come from that okay so al what else we got man what else oh no you want to talk about um giuliani son didn't you yeah i just thought it was a fun time break it down for us though yeah rudy giuliani's doing some press conference and if you see in the sound clip it sounds like an asian reporter is trying to ask a question and then he just starts doing an asian like accent at her and he's like oh thank you thank you thank you and that is how this [ __ ] was so funny man but the asian reporter is not asking him a question why is he doing asian action so the full context is there's a girl that he's talking and he says something like um you're going to be the hottest model in shanghai okay and then he starts going this is like off camera obviously but he goes they're going back oh we want uh jacqueline wood jacqueline wood is the most yeah it's funny it's great why is everybody so up in arms i mean how many people have made fun of his stupid accent with his lisp and [ __ ] like that oh yeah stop like if there's one person that has license to make fun of the way other people speak it's someone who's constantly made fun of for the way that he speaks i'm gonna be honest i think he should be reelected as mayor bring him back ooh clean up the city again clean up the city again it's about to get more dangerous we know cleaned it up the first second of time where did this virus come from china he could clean that up too bang or at least communicate hey at least figure out get to the bottom of it he could definitely get to the bottom of it interesting are you offended if you when you heard the accent no i'm not even offended if people do an indian accent is not funny if it's not good but i don't know y'all from comically bad comically bad maybe i would laugh i usually just don't laugh but i'm not like guys come on i just don't laugh and i'm like i wish i thought this was funny y'all have your moments that's probably how asians feel right they're just like i don't find it funny yeah but don't like how can he this is so offensive i guess there's always white people doing that yo i never hear asians i don't say never but i rarely hear asians complaining about uh maybe asian stereotype racism maybe you just don't understand their accent you think about that no no like what i mean like all the way out here because a chinese person is you go then i'm like i got you but if an agent is talking to me full like regular addiction i'm like oh what's going on right now that's a surprising thing no i can't understand this but it's funny it's like you hear asian jokes all the time i never hear asians complain about asian jokes the only time i've ever heard asians complain is when they weren't getting into harvard like they should that's the only time i've ever seen asians protest anything yeah and then recently there's been like some like uh racist uh acts of violence against asians because of coronavirus which is [ __ ] up obviously you don't take it out on chinese people here you know what i mean if you find that one is a spy [Laughter] you know what i mean watching america on the swing you know you know what i mean no in all seriousness uh no but like yeah obviously that's [ __ ] up don't do that clearly don't do that i shouldn't even have to tell you guys yeah do that yes don't do that but the accent but the accent i haven't heard asians be that upset about that well i know shane giris that guy there were a lot of asians are upset about that were they i saw some i mean they're actually i thought it was it was like a white kid that started that whole being it was a white kid that started it but agents hopped on board maybe i saw like asian actors hopping on board now actors are like anything that gets me attention is worth it so maybe yeah maybe they were just hopping on board to get some retweets but that that was when i was like oh we're doing this now we're all just offended by bad accents yeah i'm not i'm not saying the agents aren't offended by it but like it seems like that's not the fight that they pick yeah like it's i want to go to the harvard that's the fight that they pick which is a way better fight to pick if you have to pick a fight you know i mean like white people aren't picking the fight of like well you do our accent wrong yeah right like there's nothing like what is the fight white people picking in general yeah guns abortions abortions you got to pick your stakes you got to pick the things that you get upset about death got to be involved somehow for white people to get we need death yeah speaking of abortion yeah are you guys what do you know are you guys fans of fleetwood mac who is this person oh stevie nicks fleetwood mac break it down so cool mac is a band yes and stevie nicks is the lead singer female singer in the band okay and she says had she not gotten abortion there would be no fleet with mac today you don't know if that's true she says it but that doesn't mean it's true she says it both these points are valid he's not saying i understand what both of you are saying he understands she said she doesn't actually know that hold on just enough out of that [ __ ] you don't know that's true oh you call stevie oh you call stevie bro no no no al you don't know if it's true though that's true in all seriousness you don't know that he's actually right and i'm right and akash knows why i'm right but you don't know i'm right he's right he's actually but soon you will find out why why why you write that because if she did have the kid maybe she still would have had the band maybe the band would be way better maybe i think it would have been a better band no i think would have been she says with all the drug use in the way that they were working she would have stepped away from the bed yeah that's why the band would have been better yeah yeah but then you would have no bangers like you have today a fleet would matter i don't i really don't know i'm trying to just go up the one with the mexicans the only thing i know is the mexican guy drinking the cranberry juices i'm just trying to make abortion more okay that's all this thing is it's a big hey it's women's bodies man everybody's y'all it's their body so as long as we can tell them what to do we got to put out on the supreme court bro yo i'll be lit for supreme court justices for supreme court let's go we gotta ask you some cases and then some bring up like the best supreme court cases and we'll we'll see how you would decide okay okay okay first brown versus board of education brown versus board of education what is that about owen brown all day let's go next hold on are you sure you want to go brown on this one i don't know brown versus board of education okay this case yep was about i'm i don't really know segregating i think brown wanted to separate am i wrong let's find out if that was right hold on so brown wants to separate your people really going to do that to us together on this bro let me see brown versus board of education uh was a landmark 1954 supreme coordinator brown was black yeah was black let's go yeah let's go linda carol brown was the third grader who wanted to go to the white school oh come on son supreme court okay light work so um she's a third grader that wants to go to the white school what third grader wants to go to a school without her friends i mean it was her mom yeah oh it's her mom okay the third grader okay so ow girls keep making fun of me they're so mean mom you go to white school it's gonna be way easier there yeah i'll teach them how to hopscotch yes you want to be on like a worse step team or something all right so al that's number one you happen to get that one right bang number two plessy um versus ferguson yes plessy ferguson yeah that's the case oh yeah it's plessy versus the state of plessy ferguson versus the state of missouri was it missouri it's plessy versus ferguson bro plessy versus ferguson said it's always gonna be isn't it always against the u.s that's how you got to get up there right so y'all know [ __ ] bro what is plessy versus ferguson hold on al what's your ruling you don't even want to know the case yeah what's the case with this case with this case all right so basically you have plessy homer plessy uh he's like this dude and basically he wants to know if uh if they should uphold racial segregation in public facilities oh come on son and then ferguson was uh some other guy i don't know let's [ __ ] these white women ferguson all day so you were with your ferguson ferguson okay let's make a couple of dark jets let's go is there another one that's like kind of trickier because it does seem kind of easy bro that's what i'm saying i think he voted the wrong way the decision basically upheld racial segregation and ferguson won yeah i think so no you don't know hello bro come on that's some real sell out [ __ ] okay roe versus wade roe v wade also known as d wade all day baby let's go let's go gabrielle union come on son you can't [ __ ] with d hold on which one is weight star wade is the is the person that wants abortion okay and why is it why are you supportive no way is the person that doesn't want it rose the chick that wanted it oh no you [ __ ] that one up son you [ __ ] that one up you don't even know how the [ __ ] case went so that's all right so which way you say women should be able to do it yes got you yeah okay all right so are we confirming all or not yeah i think goes without saying yeah i think i think i'll you can make a good supreme court justice there we go do rag house especially back do rag out respect i think we need to pack the courts i'm with biden bro i'm bill biden kamala we need to pack the courts and we need a young puerto rican black man on those corners i imagine they attack the courts for alex media dude that would be hilarious supreme court justice alex media that'd be so [ __ ] lit it would be amazing let's go every [ __ ] decision has a giant decision by alex i think a lot of other people contribute to this decision by one person i like that that's perfect i can nominate anybody i want to the supreme court but they have to be confirmed by the senate um how are we going to get the senate to confirm you we run for senate yeah we got overall majority in the senate we got that yeah taylor easy as that you got a government i'm sorry i'm really bad at government so i don't know which one's highest do you think the government is good at government come on yo we got that taylor you guys i don't know the requirements needed for like supreme requirements alex alc was a bartender you got that you got a thinkpad heavies yeah she did have another [ __ ] though fatty malt she had the best malts in the house [Music] so do you think that's an advantage for a congresswoman what to have the heavies yes they have the back breaker you never had that [Laughter] [Laughter] yeah we call one the house calling the senate that's all you need to do yeah so wait what's the problem with her being a bartender there's no problem with this she just had them [ __ ] heavy she had that [ __ ] she did what's wrong with it you're saying there's something wrong with it no i'm not yes you did you said that a congresswoman shouldn't have them lunchable [Laughter] you said that you were judging we're out here just trying to say there's nothing wrong with it you know what i mean if she got that crook back from them big-ass pets there's nothing wrong with it yeah she's a hunchback of the bronx she's the punchback of notre bronx let's go [ __ ] out here jeff bezos yeah that's all it was she's just jealous his base was his head looks like one of her biggest no far too many people listen and that [ __ ] is perfect real tough yeah i want aoc to run for president uh-huh i want to run anywhere right in slow motion [Laughter] but is that crazy that half a million people listen to this podcast and we're talking like this i think we don't realize how popular this podcast is what do you mean like it's crazy like aoc's like um i think she's listening she might be listening bro yo alexandria yo hey ayo what's up baby hey hey what's up we got we got we got supreme court justice alex [Laughter] [Applause] it's the wild boy hour it's the wild boy hour geez you're getting me all wet with your motorboat it's dude crazy hey if you're driving that motorboat aoc got a couple floatation devices we don't need we don't need a piano jack we got the heavies that's why leonardo dicaprio died in time tonight because she didn't have the handy [Laughter] real talk it felt like a plank of wood bro yo what she's built like a plank of wood that's all she had that's it yo why was that [ __ ] on the couch on her side but she couldn't get on her side when she was on the door oh selfish ass right like why when he was down there you don't think he was looking at her like remember when i was drawing you [ __ ] and you were on your side you couldn't do that it was like that ain't hard but remember that it ain't hard yeah hey right here look and then we both live twice as much room exactly we've been looking at each other like that simple as that it was mad selfish it was selfish no titty having aoc would have made room if she could i don't think she could be honest with you she's not made i think she's not making room yo shout out to aoc bro is she in the senate or is she married say what is she married she probably got a white guy somewhere yeah she does y'all know his name she's all white part of the lgbt community because she got a white man she got white man why do you think she's part of the lgbt ministry maybe she's like puss you think she liked that poon in it you think she really liked that poon in it do you think she does or what i don't think she's not never tried it but do you think if she tries she might like that pin in it bro you are about to be so tight dude talk to me dogs you want to see you want to see her man super simp riley roberts [Music] looking like a proud boy oh my god can you bring that super simp up onto the picture right there [ __ ] knocked off angela [ __ ] prince harry yeah oh my what's that his name angela terry what's the girl angela robert meghan markle yeah meghan markle oh my god i [ __ ] get he's interested in yeah i was only wikipedia i was thinking the empire i think all right hold on can we go back to this guy see he kind of looks like he's crazy seth rogen's his husband he looks like ginger rogan a little bit like the middle pitcher that ginger set an aoc i cannot believe that you look like a swagless edge hearing yeah yeah yes if ed sheeran had no swag no musical no but you know i mean he might be heavy dicks you don't know i don't know you don't think you got the big one you got the low rise you got the low price and he's probably not the low rise that's fine that should hang like a cholo low rise yo his dick just be like this yes you know what the deal was yo do you think can you go to another picture then say what is this pubic hair irons too usually is that what happens i think yeah i think sometimes fire crotch isn't where that comes from yeah i mean go to my man's on the right come on bro he might listen to the podcast no disrespect if you listen to the podcast can you get the picture when he's in a blue shirt it's bottom right that one right there oh that's that's not that's nice son i don't know dogs i don't know bro looking crazy she could do better she looks like she's dating him in that picture she's like what am i doing i got to see him walk watch because yeah you could tell a big dick i believe this from taylor you could tell if i got it or august would you like to finish it you can tell how big that penises is no cuz i wish i had this ability so go go go go go go cause i'm about to fix my walk now go on go ahead hold on yo should we all walk check out my walk taylor yeah real talk okay all right you you shall we all walk all right all right let's go let's go actually it's an audio podcast too yeah we're gonna do that another day but you can tell if a guy's schwanz it by how he walks usually now what about the way that that guy's neck and chin are the same thing can you tell anything by that this is wrong this guy probably listens to the podcast he might eat puss good maybe possibly and why do you say that i mean he has to do something right like yo taylor that's vicious unless he fingers you know good but yeah those big beards don't hurt when they eat and puss taylor um no first of all wait i don't know that's not a philly joke that's not a silly joke i'm sure she's been with the big beards no i haven't actually i like mine it's like i like them like a nice trim like never like bushy enough that christian beard yeah what about what akash has like a beer yeah that's fine yeah that's good all right chilled with jesus christ i wasn't making it like that jesus faithful come on bro yeah look at this guy over here man but yo he don't got no lips either so i don't know he might just be a finger yo be honest we got the fattest lips on his podcast yo come on bro yo who got the fattest lips be honest yo don't make me uncomfortable right now be honest yo cause they think that they got fatter lips than the kid who got the fattest lips on the podcast my lips so fat you think it's a vulva a vulva is the top [ __ ] part oh oh yeah isn't it called the vulva yeah it's a car yeah that's also that [Laughter] i've been inside neither i could do something real inappropriate but i'm not going to okay but in all seriousness who got the fattest lips just squash this once and for all i do no you're not counting down you licked yours to make it more wet you over there trying to make yours fatter look go go who got the fattest who got the fatties yeah yeah who got them fat don't don't say me like yeah taylor don't say me please don't say me who got them hookah suckers yeah oh god but then it definitely goes to the [ __ ] alex no but who got who got the fattest ones yeah of the whites you talking to mark and mark only she said i have the whites yeah yeah that's true now but i got thicker lips than octopus his lips are bigger than my lips i got way bigger lips dude i was annoying this at first but now i'm actually no i got thicker lips but dead ass a tie it's crazy no you know what serious though i have more total lip than you your lips but your lips stop here yeah it's just like an angry bird looks like an angry bird that's true but my [ __ ] be like that you've got no top lips on that top i do have top lips and that [ __ ] just looks like a little bit of gum i have top my top flip is on the underside yeah you're an angry bird look at you yeah exactly look at you i should be calling you off a look how tiny his little anteater of a mouth is right it's a tiny little honestly donald trump could drink a that's how smoothie the spout is hey i'll be trying to widen it up don't work so i have technically more lip no that's false i have more lip there's more volume you've got half a lip say what you've got half a lip that's not you have a lip you don't have lips you have a lip [ __ ] oh god okay uh listen i think we got it we gotta end this uh can you just give us something one last thing so we can oh i need to do this shout out um i wish i did this earlier i'm gonna talk more about this but man i had the coolest experience i was able to go to uh the scoot and surf park in uh the american dream mall in east rutherford new jersey shout outs to jersey and there's a surf pool skoot and surf skudi and surf man they took me and a couple of my homies from back in the day like i'm talking about since i was a child a child and we went and we surfed in a wave pool in jersey and it was unfucking how was that mall the mall was massive yeah i didn't really walk them all because i went at nine o'clock at night yeah so most of the things are closed but like the malls think is just starting to crack open they're still doing some of the oh you got some of the videos up but it is so [ __ ] cool man and i had the time my life and i literally was paddling around in there and i literally was like i'm the luckiest person on the planet i love surfing growing up surfing and i just thought it was so cool and i just want to say thank you to those guys man shout out to will and jay and everybody who's you know just allowed us to have this cool experience and um if you're into surfing you want to learn how to surf or any of that stuff go there especially now that we're in winter it's freezing to go in the actual water go to this wave pool fun safe cool environment my boy jamil went and jamil popped up the first time you know jamil yeah and he killed that [ __ ] so it was just so cool to do and i just want to say thank you to those guys man it just made my [ __ ] day it was so cool and that's all anything else you want to talk about no all right guys man thank y'all so much man for listening to the podcast we hope you all had as much fun as we had this was a crazy one it's hot in here we need to fix these [ __ ] acs uh right we need to we need to even though there's not all black people you have to admit it got pretty hot so really that's your theory what does that tell you that we're all the same um i wonder it's not as high as it could be though okay taylor there's only one race and that's the white race i mean the human race i mean the human race i'm not human i meant human i'm not human master and i was buckling up if we had cut out the part earlier uh i don't know if we're gonna have that part in but just to give some context to that taylor was saying that uh rooms are hotter if they're with black people the only way a room can elevate temperature no matter how crowded it is if it's black people thousand white people in a small space don't matter and she does not yeah she just doesn't believe in white hotness yeah which is quite interesting no i see the white hotness like girl keep talking anyway guys thank you so much for listening to flagrant two man we'll see you on the patreon this friday you know we do an uh an episode on patreon every single friday patreon.com flagrant two it's the biggest comedy patreon in the entire world i don't know if you guys know but now you do you know what i mean we gotta brag a little we gotta stun a little bit [ __ ] army uh next tuesday so second episode every week on friday go check that out join our army and um yeah we appreciate y'all so much all right peace god bless

Channel: Flagrant 2

Views: 376,431

Rating: 4.837132 out of 5

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, interviews, akaash singh, alexxmedia, alexx media, alex media, eddin, eddin media, Thankyoueddin

Id: eVYGrjcrvU8

Length: 112min 25sec (6745 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 20 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Quantumdrive95]

watching Andrew do impressions while Akaash gives the 'idk what any of this is' shrug to Taylor low key reminds me of watching Jim react to racist impressions by Michael on The Office

[u/clifbarczar]

I like Taylor. She has a good sense of humor and good chemistry with the crew. They're like her older brothers who constantly clown on her (with love) and she takes it well.

[u/kurakkurak]

Around 45min in, What does mommom means???

[u/3gzatik]

LOL, when Taylor said - my boyfriend exercise so he has a good stigma instead of stamina.