- Welcome to story time fruit lovers. I'm Orange and this is. (bell dings) Huh, I expected you to say your name but that has a nice
ring to it too. (laughs) I'm getting the silent
treatment a-pear-antly. (laughs) Let's see what we got here. - [Pear] Hey Orange. Remember yesterday when I yelled at you for playing your kazoo
non-stop for 12 hours? - Well yeah, it was the
annual kazoo marathon, what did you expect? How else I am suppose to raise money to buy more kazoos? (laughs) - [Pear] Well, I yelled too
much and now my voice is gone. Looks you'll have to do
today's story, "Puss in Boots", all by yourself. - All by myself, woo hoo. - [Pear] But before you get too excited, know that I'm gonna be
right here next to you, making sure you stay true
to the story as written. - [Orange] Oh man. - [Pear] Whenever you get
off track I'll ring my bell. (bell dings) That means you need to go back to telling the actual story. Got it? (grumbles) (bell dings) - Yes, I got it. All right, let's
ring-a-ling-a do this thing. Here's the famous story, "Puss in Boots," which is, of course, about
a boots wearing platypus. (laughs)
(bell dings) Okay, okay, he's a cat. You're no fun at all. (clears throat) Once upon a time there was a young man. He was the youngest of three sons. They were name Harry, Curly, and Mo. (bell dings) They were named Huey, Dewey, and Louie. (bell dings) All right, their names don't matter but I choose to give them the nicknames Biff, Beef, and McGillicuddy. (laughs) Now, each brother was given something when their father passed away. Biff got dad's '86 Corvette. (bell dings) His electric guitar. (bell dings) All right, the family mill. Beef got the families space ship. (bell dings) Jar of teeth. (bell dings) All right, mules. And that left McGillicuddy
with just a dumb, old cat. Except the cat wasn't dumb at all, he was actually super clever. Also, he could talk 'cause
one day he McGillicuddy he needed a paid of Air Jordan's. (bell dings) Clown shoes. (bell dings) High heels. (bell dings) Okay, boots. And as soon as McGillicuddy
got him the boots that cat got to work on turning
McGillicuddy's life around. The first step he took in his new boots was to go meet the King. (laughs) Get it, step? 'Cause he's got boots. (bell dings) Oh, right, you can't talk. Well, Puss started
bringing gifts to the King all the time. Gifts like Annoying Orange merchandise. (bell dings) A Nintendo Switch. (bell dings) TNT. (bell dings) Okay, so maybe I don't
know what kinds of gifts they gave him, but Puss and the King got real chummy. Then one day Puss was out in
the woods with McGillicuddy and he heard the King's
carriage approaching. Puss sprung into action
and told McGillicuddy to get naked. (gentle upbeat music) Oh, that's really what he did? Wow. Huh, well I thought it would
be just a funny thing to say, but sure enough, he
asked him to get naked. Man, this is one pervy story
you gave me to read Pear. (laughs)
(bell dings) Anyway, when the King's carriage came by, Puss ran out and told the King that robbers had taken
McGillicuddy's clothes, the King was super chummy with Puss because of the Nintendo Switch. (bell dings) Um, indescribably gifts
Puss had given him earlier. So the King gave McGillicuddy
some fancy clothes and let him ride in the carriage with his beautiful daughter. She fell in love with
McGillicuddy immediately because he was still mostly naked. (bell dings) Okay, she loved him because he
was a great guy or whatever. But meanwhile, Puss
raced ahead to a castle and tricked the mean shape
shifting ogre who lived there into turning into a mouse, and then Puss in Boots ate him. And do you know what that Ogre's name was? Shrek. (bell dings) Okay, it wasn't Shrek, but wouldn't it be great if it had been? Would have kept a lid on
Smash Mouth's career. (laughs) Anyway, when the royal carriage pulled up Puss told them the castle
belonged to McGillicuddy. King was impressed and his daughter was definitely impressed. McGillicuddy went along with it too and they got married based on lies. What? I guess that's how it was in those days. And as for Puss in Boots, he became President of the United States. (bell dings) He went on to eat so
many hotdogs he exploded. (bell dings) Okay fine, he lived happily
ever after with McGillicuddy. To be continued. (bell dings)
(laughs) Just kidding, the end. (upbeat music)
