Andrew Schulz Answers the Internet's Weirdest Question Part 2

if you are deeper than listen up black Buffalo is the only tobacco alternative that will give you the same experience as traditional smokeless products just without a tobacco leaf or the stem I honestly I stopped two months ago I've been on the black Buffalo train I've been hitting a heart I'm a mid guy I got peach in my hand but I'm a mint guy you can use promo code answer at black Buffalo comm for 25% off your initial purchase get it right now what's up I'm Andrew Schultz I'm going to answer the internet would you jerk off LeBron for all of his athletic ability yeah who wouldn't jerk off from Tron for all of his athletic ability 100% I'd suck his dick now I wouldn't suck his dick that's not true I wouldn't suck his dick no I wouldn't do it I wouldn't do it I wouldn't do it I've definitely jerk him off would you kill baby Hitler if it had to be in a very gruesome way no I can't kill a kid man yeah I kill his dad or like kills mom I go back one more generation cuz they had to [ __ ] him off right they had to do something to make him Hitler so that's all it's their fault too so yeah I'd like kill their parents in a gruesome way yeah if you could only have knees or elbows what would you pick so I have to walk like Lieutenant Dan or elbows 100 salvos yeah because you can't eat eat like a [ __ ] horse no dude no way 100% I think I'd be fine walking around like this how often do you bend your knees dad it's like a little penguin 100% come if as long as the stairs were wide enough I could get upstairs absolutely yeah you don't really need after 30 you don't need knees so elbows I would want if you could wipe one group of people off the earth what would it be does it have to be people or can we do animals what group of people off of the earth no no I know I know I'm obviously not gonna pick a race throw away my career for a [ __ ] free box of asker the Internet no um fat chicks with short hair that's died yeah that jigs with with short hair that's died like pink and I wouldn't wipe them off the earth I just take away their their fingers so they couldn't tweet and just make the internet a beautiful place again and then as far as animals go I think we can get rid of most animals most of them I think they're useless yeah most animals gotta go how much money would it take for you to strangle a puppy I'm not doing it and dogs are there's like three animals I'm okay with cows dogs and chicken yeah I think but dogs are fine dogs are fine they're good animals yeah they're fine we've like I just don't need the money that much that's my honest answer about I just don't need them us to strangle the puppy it wouldn't sit with me I could kill a puppy easily but it's just like I don't want to I have to remove the puppies like to clean it up I'm weird I like to earn it I'm weird I'm it's yeah it's got to be so I gotta like save somebody else like strangled puppies saved my mom yes trying to probably saved my like family my brother no I mean like you die or something bad happens to you yeah she had probably strangle a puppy dude but then I'd [ __ ] make you pay for it dude it would be bad I would remind you every single day of the dog that had to die for you it would be your hand picture that dog's face every day I would get I would make you tattoo the dog's neck onto your hands so that you have to look at like what you were responsible for every time you wash your face it's just fur it would be the fur of the neck like hand prints on fur would be all your your palms yeah who would be the world's most dominant one-on-one basketball player if everyone was forced to play naked John Salley John Salley just swinging that grandfather clock of a dick dude that guy would be by far the greatest let me tell you hand checking would be back in yeah immediately the only reason handshaking is illegal is because they work clothes the second they get naked is like well maybe we should would you rather sleep with a sexy [ __ ] or a below-average regular chick I mean I'd get the [ __ ] from the miz' for obvious reasons right just to see her [ __ ] struggle to hold that thing but and because they move so quick they're like scurry I've never seen them if you're seeing that move no no dude it's like they're scurry or like have you ever seen one put on a backpack dude this is because the backpacks already so close to their back like it's on the ground yeah dude it's like when you put a blanket on a knight right it's just and I'm covered and so I think that it would be so quick but as far as like you know any sexual attraction to the to the [ __ ] I'm you know no offense but I'm not I'm not big into it you guys make great reality shows though I'd be fine if you just pan back and there's a million midgets blowing me right now it's just completely out of this job would you rather spend the rest of your life blind or inside an Olive Garden well that's a good one the rest of your life is in the Olive Garden I've never been in an Olive Garden but I could I mean it's just be a great I can have sure everything can come to me it's like being like we're like when you're like a cartel boss in jail this is like cartel boss in jail all the food that you want inside the Olive Garden hands down are you kidding be blind why would you want to be blind because you can't see anything anyway you're basically in the Olive Garden but then you get to see everything that's brought to you would you rather be the best looking to the world or be able to read minds I wouldn't want either because being able to read minds is horrible you just like think about all the awful [ __ ] like do you like going on people's Twitter that's reading minds right like Twitter is awful it's like why are you sharing us what do most people think all day I'm hungry I'm sleepy I'm tired I feel fat I think you want to read that like dude Professor X the reason he's in a wheelchair it's because he's probably tried to kill himself a million times he's reading people's mind just jumping off of bridges he's just going to isolated places trying to kill himself he probably moved that [ __ ] coin himself or whatever they're gonna see a movie which made it you see please put it right here dude magneto please anything yeah I don't want either if there was stats available for every aspect of your life what one stat would you want to see how many times I've given myself a butt rash by just scratching my ass my own app like helmet dude all the time dude all the time like I'll just scratch through the underwear like and I only give it to the left cheek for whatever reason I don't scratch the right cheek by the left hand right cheek I kind of scratched from hole 2 up on the cheek and I won't know how many times I've given my own self chafing how many times I chafed myself that's the stat that I want to know thousand thousand minimum Mik dude thousand minimum okay I'm working on some like light scabbing now I let that come down the second it comes down we're going raw rip it raw what are the best starburst flavors it's just pink and everything else like this is pink and then everything else yeah it's shocking that they don't just make it all pink no no but they yeah I purchase all pink ones matter of fact I was like so I go to st. Burning Man I'm sure you guys heard of and like you're supposed to bring like a gift for people that you meet you have a cool conversation with and I just brought pink starburst only who's the worst group of fans honestly the worst group fans are like the worst group of fans are any woke group because they're not your fan they just agree with you and the second that you shift off-course even slightly they'll be there to cancel you because that is their bread and butter so those are the worst group then so there's a lot of people out there like even in my industry they think they have fans because they're like serving a market and the second they shift they don't even realize this the second they shift all those people are gonna eat you alive so those are the worst group of fans the wokes would you rather have sex with your dream girl once or get nudes from every girl you know sex with dream girl ones do you guys like nudes Emma there's three naked people on the Internet yeah but you didn't earn it but they have to do it but you know she's give another move nude saw their guys and the nude she's giving you were the ones from the other guy I don't even like back when I was asking for nude I wouldn't even ask for what she's wearing now I was like going to the vault and gave me the [ __ ] hits like let me know where this goes like I know it's [ __ ] March you're not in your best shape neither am i but give me July until I want July I want Hamptons you haven't eaten for a week you try to bang this Wall Street guy give me that [ __ ] the picture of the pool in the back of the house he rented hi guys there's been answer the internet peace you

Channel: Answer the Internet

Views: 922,356

Keywords: Kfc radio, barstool, barstool sports, kfc radio podcast, comedy, internet, entertainment, answer the internet, barstool answer the internet, kfc barstool, feitelberg barstool, feits barstool, feits, feitelberg, john feitelberg, hypotheticals, weird hypotheticals, dumb questions, weird questions, andrew schulz, andrew schulz crowd work, andrew schulz stand up, andrew schulz special, andrew schulz matador tour, andrew schulz network special

Id: -ywLMLyILyo

Length: 10min 34sec (634 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 17 2019