You ever feel like you're being ambushed, you ever
feel like you're being ganged up on or trapped with the line of questioning that's being
thrown at you, whether it's at work or home, find out how to answer that
so that you never feel trapped again. Get ready. All right. I'm doing a special series now
until the end of the year. I'm going to be answering
subscriber questions here on YouTube. So make sure to ask your
questions in the comments below. And I'm going to be answering at least
one, maybe two, maybe three a day. So I'm going to get through these quick, because I
know we have a lot of things to do for the holidays. So here's how I would answer
a question that I'm not comfortable answering. I got this question from a viewer
who asked basically, what do I do? My boss likes to call me
into his office with no notice. And usually there's somebody else
there and they attack me. And I feel like I'm being ambushed. And they're asking me real rapid fire questions
they think they have the answer to. And they're trying to kind of trap me
and I get tongue tied and nervous. What should I be doing? Here's
what I would say to that. Remember, as a communicator, it is always your
right, always, no matter if it's at work, at home or wherever, if you do not
feel comfortable answering a question, if you don't feel comfortable in the moment, if you suspect
as though someone's ganging up on you or that you are being ambushed or that
somebody is asking you a challenge question. Remember, we talked about those in some of my
classes, if you were with me on those. When you're asked things or asked to participate
in conversations in which you do not feel comfortable, remember, it is
always your right to say. I'm going to need some time to think about that,
to decide how I feel or, you know, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure if I'm
comfortable answering that right now. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable engaging
with you right now on the subject. I'm not comfortable telling you what went on
because I can't recall it at the moment. And it is always OK. In fact, it's very effective to say why,
if you feel uncomfortable, tell people that if you're uncomfortable, I'm making you uncomfortable
with their line of questioning. I like to refer to things like congressional hearings
or when I watch a good trial on television, C-SPAN. That's my that's my idea of a good time. And I see people answer Congress sometimes by
saying things such as, you know, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with
your line of questioning. It's always our right to say that to people
when we are uncomfortable or even if it's a simple, you know. This makes me nervous. Situations like this make me nervous when I'm
you could be specific what I'm called in here with no notice and there's two
people asking me questions like this. I get nervous and I'm going to need some time
to decide how I feel about this or to think about this and get back to I'm going
to need some time to mull this over. However you want to say it. It's always OK to do that. I'm not sure if I can answer that right now. I don't know how I feel about that. I cannot recall and I certainly would not
want to give you any incorrect information when it's this important. But obviously it's important if you you and you
all called me in here with no notice all by myself and ask me these
questions one after another is important. So I'm going to need some time to think about
that and I'll get back to you as soon as I've had a chance to do that. Don't ever be afraid to say that, whether it's
your partner, you know, if they hey, I've made a decision and where I want to go
for our, you know, big year end vacation, I've decided about what you think about that. I'm in need some time to think about that. Oh, come on. Just what
is your initial thought? I'm going to need some
time to think about that. Remember, the broken record is always such a
fantastic tactic that people find so much live people, people find so much freedom using
and they feel so liberated when they use it. All you have to do is repeat yourself. If I gave you a good answer a
moment ago, nothing has changed since then. Why would I waste my
brainpower thinking of another one? Brain cells are finite. If I just gave you a good answer, why would
I waste some of them thinking of another one again? I'm going to need a few minutes to think
about this before I get back to you on that, I'm going to need a few minutes to
think about what happened and make sure that I give you the correct answer to your question. And by the way, man, you know, if this is
happening to you at work, by the way, or boss woman, you might want to refer to the Forbes
article on how to call an effective meeting or if it's even if it's on Skype or whatever. Zoome If it's a one on one, any meeting that
is called, whether it's a one on one meeting or if it's a group meeting or you're
being investigated as a jury, if there's a congressional hearing, when you look at effective
ones, they all have the same rules. There's an agenda. You're told what
you're going to be asked. You're told what you're going to talk about. You're told who's going to be there. They don't invite people there who are not useful
or don't serve a purpose so that when you walk into that meeting, you're prepared to
give you to give the answers that they're looking for. And I might suggest that
to my boss, you know, in a. Nice way, I might say, you know, so
that this doesn't happen again and you don't. And I don't waste your time coming in
here, and I'm unable to answer your questions because sometimes I get tongue tied when I'm put
on the spot like that, if you could in the future, send me an email telling me when
you wanted to have these meetings, even if it's just a few minutes in advance and what
the subject matter would be and who would be there that would help me prepare for them so
that this is the benefit statement, so that I can make sure that when I come into
the meeting, I'm prepared with everything that you need and we don't have to go through this
again and we going to do it twice. So you don't have to
wait for the information. I think you would find
that much more efficient. So let me move forward. You that article or you want me to forward
you the little black book of meeting rules or do you want me to whatever it
is, I'm not saying this for me. I'm saying this for you. It's embarrassing for
me when I'm called into a meeting like that. And I can't answer your questions
because under normal circumstances, I'm sure you know, I could. But situations
like that make me nervous. So in the future, if you could let me
know before what the meeting would be about and about how long it would be, who's going to
be there and the subject, I could come in prepared so that you can get your answer
and only have to hold it once. What do you say about that? Let
me just send you the information. Even though it's just a one on one meeting
or one on two meeting, the same rules apply always and again, the same rules. You know, it's interesting how when you're
talking about communication, whether it's one person, 100 people, it's
always the same rules. If you're asking me to go in and tell my
version of the story, you're asking me to go in and explain something or, you know, you have a
big hot issue and you want me to present my idea. Presentation skills and the fundamentals
of a good presentation will be the same. And if I were talking to my boss, I might
say and I would want to give you the best presentation I possibly can every time, whether it's
just you and me or whether it's the entire company listening, I
think you deserve that. So what do you say in the future when we
have these types of meetings, you give me a little bit of notice. I will come in here
not so nervous and prepared with what you need as well. Some good. Who could that who could say no to that? That is reasonable and it
is always, always reasonable. To set your own communication rules and boundaries,
and when you feel for whatever reason that you're not comfortable answering a question,
it doesn't matter who's asking it. If they can tell if if people who work
at Facebook can tell Congress, I'm not comfortable asking answering that I'm going to have
to get back to on that. I don't like your line of questioning. I'm not comfortable with
that line of questioning. I don't appreciate you impugning
my integrity with that question. You know, if they can say it, so can you. And it actually elevates your status in
everyone's eyes, including your own eyes. So that's my suggestion for you. And I hope that that helps. If you have any more questions like that or
any others, put them in the questions below. And remember, I'm still doing my flash sale. If you click the link below,
I hope it works for you. If it does not send us an email and we
will make sure to get you the flash sale. I'm offering it at half
off the already discounted price. So if you enjoy solutions like this and wanted
to join me in some upcoming events, make sure we get that
and everyone here demonstrating. Have a Merry Christmas, a
Happy Kwanzaa, happy family. And I hope to see everybody soon. Thank you all. I'm signing off. Goodbye. Oh, hey, speak
loving words to people. If you're with people that you love,
that's a treat and a blessing. Bless them back by speaking loving words to
them because there's no message that you have to send that you can't send in a loving way. I hope that you love everybody. Love you right back. We all deserve that.
