AITA For Saying That Its My Sisters Fault Her Husband Is Divorcing Her[Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for saying that it's my sister's fault her husband is divorcing her my 27 female sister 32 female is currently in the process of divorce started by her husband fought email they were married for a total of two years the problem started with brother-in-law wanting his own biological kids i'll explain later and my sister not wanting them she was always against having kids but the moment they started seeing each other she started making certain changes about herself he had the courtesy of telling quite early where he wanted the relationship to go and my sister at that point went from no to maybe to one day and then yes they got married but maybe the realization finally hit her when we went to meet our cousin who had given birth yes a new mother's body is not exactly the epitome of sexy because pregnancy does things to a mother's body i could tell sister was detracting and it was still early in the marriage when i asked her to reconsider and end the marriage now before it's too late she was adamant that she wanted her child but i could tell she was flaky she never talked to me but she would talk to our mother and i would hear from her how brother-in-law was still going on about wanting a child but she is not feeling like wanting a child anymore oh boy a month ago brother-in-law reached his limit and finally asked sister to be up front and she straight up told him she does not want to be a mother and started offering alternatives like adoption brother-in-law did not want to hear any if that and sister came to live with us as to why brother-in-law wants biological children he was previously married and has two children and he found out that neither of them are biologically his he pays child support but does not see the kids anymore understandable sister also knew this but maybe love blinds people she is here bawling her eyes out because brother-in-law has started the divorce proceedings and does not want any sort of compromise parents have been giving brother-in-law [ __ ] for days now and so is sister now about how stubborn he is and wish he could see it before it got annoying to a point where i told her that it was her fault that she was not ready lied to him and now expect him to accommodate fully knowing his side and that her foolishness impacted the life of two people now they are angry at me for taking his side am i the antagonist if so what can i do to make it right i'm not going to retract my words because they are exactly what she did now for the top comments info how do you know that your sister wasn't lying to herself and telling her husband what she believed was true at the time given what you have said about her freaking out about what pregnancy does to a woman's body and suggesting adoption it sounds like your sister is opposed to giving birth not to having children and maybe she initially thought she could push past that fear for something she wanted with her husband also the way op wrote about her sister seemed really strange to me like she wanted the marriage to fail and i kind of got the impression that she probably hounded her sister about wanting and not wanting children seems like she doesn't want her sister to have children sister doesn't know what she wants and is now stuck bw one side telling her she doesn't want kids and the other telling her she does it's not op's job to police her sister people change their minds also how does the brother-in-law have no responsibility here everyone's tearing apart the sister for lying and not figuring things out before marriage which is already wildly unfair and not how life works but she said she didn't want kids in the first place and he went into the marriage thinking he'd effectively changed her mind he's equally at fault for putting on blinders and thinking he talked her into something major she'd been initially against in the first place this shouldn't come as a huge shock to him i want a kid and i stated that outright when my husband and i first started dating he too adamantly wants a kid cool we were on the same page i never would have married him if he'd said he was firmly against kids and then said he was after i pushed him on it for so long that he said he changed his mind not unless i was okay with him deciding against it in the end but his initial firm stance and i would have known that to be a possibility that doesn't appear to be what happened at all at first when they started dating she was adamant she didn't want kids but changed her mind before they got married it was always a deal breaker for him sure you can change your mind but don't expect your spouse who really wants kids to stay with you divorce is the best option divorce is the best option name calling and blame gaming is not ash except brother-in-law this is a deal-breaker for him and he's making the right choice compromise either way would only breed resentment and ruin what's left of their marriage it's better and more responsible to cut it off now so they can find people who are fundamentally more compatible your sister definitely should have been honest this is a situation of her own making because she tried out of love to want something she does not want however you didn't need to say that you didn't need to rub salt into her wounds and you've done her no favors for it your parents need to stop blaming brother-in-law he doesn't have to forgo biological children just because she doesn't want them he's not wrong for making this choice he'd only be wrong if he tried to force her into pregnancy after she doubt right said no he didn't she made herself clear so he left that's unfortunate but that's all it is real true support does not come from blasting the other person for the things they want for themselves less focus on him more on her and you learn to read a room tact is a valuable resource and given that this is a sensitive subject you should take your hint from that and be sensitive there is nothing at all to be accomplished from telling her truths like that you should apologize not because you stated something untrue but because you were unwittingly or otherwise cruel to a family member who is already suffering that was very well put i agree with everyone sucks here unless you were directly asked for your opinion up then what you have done is kicked someone while they were down you don't have to lie to her but you don't have to wield the truth like a hammer either she will get plenty of that in the divorce proceedings am i the antagonist for not letting my sister make my son's birthday cake my sister is an aspiring professional baker she set up her fb business for it in 2018 and so far has not been able to build up much of a clean customer base part of the reason for this is she isn't the best decorator out there and sometimes she is downright bad before setting up back in 2017 she did taste and feedback tests with the family she told us she wanted to know life where she needed to improve and all that stuff cool a couple of people told her she was great and that she should open her business because she'd be great the rest of us me dad older brother youngest sister and my husband all mentioned how she needed to lay off on the sugar a bit because holy freaking hell was she poisoning those cakes and we mentioned she would need to refine her skills with the decorating side she asked for specifics and we gave them especially on the kids designs because they were downright terrifying for kids tested on some of our kids she didn't take it on board though except for the sugar she told us at the time we had overreacted to the designs and we'd see my sister has five reviews on her profile three of them are one star with the same feedback we gave about the appearance of the cakes one woman had her two-year-old cry when they saw the cake and another had her five-year-old say they were scared of it the other one was more angry about it and did not hold back the other two are three-star reviews and say could have been a lot better it frustrates my sister she tries to grow but doesn't listen to feedback my son is turning eight this year and it will be his first friend party due to circumstances my sister asked if she could do the cake i told her we had already ordered one which is true she was hurt i wouldn't go to her over another baker she offered to cover the cancellation fee and i turned her down then she got mad said how can she build her business if family won't even help her out and give her practice and a portfolio to build i told her that she should start listening to the feedback she has received instead of pressuring family to become guinea pigs for her inventions i also suggested she practice without getting an order because it means she can provide a better quality product without using other people's money celebrations to do it she told me a good not a dick sister would give her the experience and that it would mean so much more to my son to have a cake made by his loving art than some random baker she has me feeling a bit bad because despite her telling me i'm a dick if i don't i can see she's genuinely hurt we don't like her cakes enough to give her this am i the antagonist now for the top comments i want to see the cake that makes children cry same um i'm wondering what these cakes could possibly look like that they've scared children and or made them cry very very bad fondant characters nta your sister does not have a business she has a fafsa book pipe dream after four years she needs to face reality that she is not capable of baking for profit i think that's kind of where my frustration stems she could make it a profitable business side business if she put in the work to grow and improve in her weak area decorating it has never felt like she has put that work in she expects to grow as she works but people don't want to pay for that your sister is trying to walk before she crawls she needs to refine her skills no one wants a cake from the one staff as a book baker i bake cakes is a hobby i make them for friends and some family members sometimes just because i've been baking and sometimes for a birthday most of the time it's at my own cost but some friends actually buy the ingredients and ask me to make it i've made some pretty impressive cakes but i do not advertise my services on social media because i've seen better fondant is the bane of my life but i can do it and royal icing is still a huge weakness for me i also don't want the stress i've even turned down making cakes for people who have offered to pay me good money for it because i didn't believe i could make what they wanted as well as someone else could one example would be my best friend's gender reveal party i organized the whole event with her and when looking at cakes i told her that whilst i was flattered that she thought i was good enough i didn't want to disappoint her which turned out to be the best thing i did because the cake she got was awesome i know where my limits lie and i use my free time to practice because i want to get better i don't force anything i bake on people and i sure as hell don't degrade those who would go with someone else for a special event only thinking of making my own wedding cake because it's a small event attended by next to nobody if this is something she won't listen about that's a problem you are 100 not the a-hole and your sister needs to respect your decision by choice for fondant if you mix homemade marshmallow fondant half and half with store-bought fondant it will give you a much more workable fondant still tastes awful but stretchy without being too sticky nta and etio wants a good cake her cakes are bad she can be mad about it but that's the truth family shouldn't be treated like a captive customer base i really want to see these cakes i'm thinking how bad can they be that they'd make children cry it's kind of funny to imagine maybe she's responsible for eat pant am i the antagonist for making my grandma look bad by unveiling her lies my paternal grandma have always been my worst bully never saying a nice word to me i'm her only grandchild but a disappointment since i'm fat and ugly and too much like my mom i recently heard from family that she's been telling people that she sent me money every month to help me through school i was totally surprised by these news since i was periodically homeless and periodically lived in expensive sketchy rooms during that period without seeing a dime from her or anyone else so i told the truth i wasn't expecting money from her and i haven't got anything either and that she promised to help me buy a flat when i was homeless but then pulled back on that promise because i wasn't worthy in her eyes i have no addiction criminality etc in my background i've never expected anyone to give me any money or things even if they are well off like she is but it annoys me that she lies and make fake promises so she'll look good i bought my own house for my own money when i was 26 makes reasonable money and can take care of myself but she's made it out like she helped me to where i am which she haven't but now she thinks i'm bratty again for exposing her lies and plays martyr because it made my dad yell at her for lying about helping me should i've lied to protect her on her now for the top comments info what honor eater very rhetorical she has none nta unraveling a lie someone else weaved around you is never an [ __ ] move exactly expose her for the liar she is and let her suffer the consequences not the a-hole nta if she doesn't want to look bad she shouldn't be telling lies about how she supposedly helped you while also running around saying any nasty things she can think of about you yeah and i would cut her off like yesterday nta you absolutely should not have lied you can't protect her on her if she doesn't care about it herself it sounds like you come from a culture where family respect and obligation is very important so let me ask you this if family is so important why is your grandmother okay with speaking horribly about you and your mother and tell lies about you respect is a two-way street not the a-hole my parents are from different countries and her being a conservative catholic is exactly that kind of culture and she's been angry a lot about me defending my mother us being atheists that haven't been baptized apparently makes us not worthy either respect expected in families but i've grown up in a kind of cultural clash caused by both religion and culture and that's made me doubt my own morals a lot it's funny that she's so religious but has no problem lying which is condemned by catholicism at least officially i grew up really christian and slowly moved away as an adult i wouldn't call myself atheist just non-religious i learned how to take the parts of christianity what were important to me like having a conscience treating other people well viewing the world with compassion etc and incorporate those parts into my identity so i didn't have to constantly question everything trust yourself you will find your own morals as you live your life and find your own inner voice it sounds like your grandmother and maybe your father too tends to get in your head and scramble your sense of self just remember you're stronger than all that you got yourself through school and near homelessness bought your own house and are doing pretty well without help from anyone you're a badass don't let your grandmother and her nonsense take up emotional space in your head she isn't worth it nta she was essentially trying to take partial credit for your achievements your struggles are your own and if she wasn't there when you needed her then she can't be there when she's not lies like that change your character and how others see you these lies affect you more than you would think i haven't thought about it that way when i bought my house family from both sides started asking my parents if i had got an inheritance or had a husband they didn't know of because they couldn't fathom me being able to buy my own big house without help i guess i'm just used to extended family having low thoughts about me i didn't finish high school in time but got it sorted a few years after got into a prestigious law school but dropped out to do a trade instead so i guess i internalized being a fuck-up even though i'm doing pretty well for myself nowadays also she might be trying to set it up so she can try and cash in later as in she gets everyone to believe that she has helped you get to where you are so that they will put pressure on you later when she tries to come and live with you in your nice big house for free with terrify press charges on ex-employee after stealing her job new account for anonymity purposes my 26 mom 51 is a youtuber and is kinda successful in her niche when she started out i edited and promoted all her videos and helped her with her journey now i'm married under sahm after she started making money she hired her own editors and then she started her own business and hired some other employees and she's doing good now i was the one who chose the said employees when she started out with a business and i still give her business advice and stuff i have always done all this for free lately i have been looking for a remote job i will be honest i don't need this job but i thought it would be nice to use this money for spending on non-essential things like shopping and vacationing gifts and stuff i asked my mom whether she had any openings and she said that she was looking to fire one of her editors for her poor work ethics so i can take her place my mom gave elsie the news but told her to take her time and a few days later i dropped by to collect info about the project she was previously working on she was clearly shocked to learn that i was the one taking her place i should also say that my mom will be paying me more than she did elsie she was very cold to me which was understandable soon she started badmouthing me and my mom to other employees and about nepotism and how that money put a roof over her head whereas i don't even need it or deserve it full disclaimer i'm a computer science engineer with an mba so i'm qualified for this job and i do have experience with years of freelancing and working for my mom for free elsie threw a tantrum in the office and recorded it and made a youtube video calling us [ __ ] on exposing the real xxx and how i stole her job elsie also leaked some information about a new brand that my mom was launching this december it was done in a candid manner but still information went out without our permission i want to press charges but would that make us double dr my mom just wants the video taken down and she has agreed to let it go but i'm not so sure edit one i didn't steal her job elsie would have been fired with or without me in the picture elsie wasn't a good employee to start with i understand that it was poorly handled but stop plastering nepotism over it when i'm perfectly qualified with experience and proven results i can find another job easily i just chose not to cause i want to work with my mom i'm getting paid more because of my qualifications and experience and not cause i'm her daughter reddit too stop sending me threats and indecent messages on private now for the top comments i don't think press charges means what you think it means could it have been handled with a little more tact sure but op is qualified for the job it was ops skills that helped mom lay the groundwork of her business it makes sense that she'd pay up more now that she has the means especially since ob helped build everything without pay initially i also lost respect for elsie when she threw a temper tantrum on social media instead of resigning with dignity it means she's emotional and impulsive and probably blind to her shortcomings professionally it's difficult to keep people like that around in a small business at the end of the day ops mom has every right to decide what's best for her business she chooses up and it sounds like ops earned it i don't really get how people are claiming nepotism here when one the daughter is as it seems a qualified candidate and the ex-employee was already set to be fired and two the daughter apparently helped quite significantly with the initial building of the business this isn't just arbitrarily hiring a family member it's bringing back what sounds to be essentially a co-founder if the employee's firing was unwarranted stated clearly it was not it would be one thing as it is explained though not the a-hole the idea that the mother should have handled it better is silly too she's obligated to explain to the ex-employee why she was fired at most depending on state but she has no obligation to explain her replacement plans to them that's an absurd concept exactly this i have no idea why people are being so weird about this you can't get arrested for defamation it's a civil action it's amazing to me how many people use terms and phrases that they have zero understanding of does it really matter the second she finds a lawyer they'll tell her the correct procedure i don't know the difference between slander and deformation but we all know what she is trying to convey here so it doesn't matter does it info what would the charges be has she actually slandered you or your mother defamation yes some of her statements were in fact untrue in a way that's provable yes elsie also leaked some information about the new brand that my mom was launching this december why didn't you mention this in the post and waited until now there's most likely info missing what is wrong with you people if elsie posted here she would unanimously unequivocally be deemed the [ __ ] she leaked company information because she was upset and that's a reasonable response to being let go nepotism or not her behavior was completely inappropriate and unacceptable expose a video fine op is out her damn head for pushing the issue but you're delusional if you think elsie is in the right eater everyone sucks here if elsie had posted here she probably wouldn't have mentioned it that's how this subreddit works

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 1,001

Rating: 4.826087 out of 5

Keywords: r/amitheantagonist, r/, amitheantagonist, reddit, cringe, who is in the wrong, reddit cringe, r/aita, aita, reddit stories, advice, stories, reddit hunt, am i the antagonist, reddit am i the antagonist, AITA, r/AITA, r/AmITheAsshole, amitheasshole, am i the asshole, reddit am i the asshole, reddit amitheasshole

Id: Hc-Uyti9yOM

Length: 23min 31sec (1411 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 11 2021