8 Terrible Video Games With AWESOME Stories

let's have some fun shall we today yes we shall yay yay hello all of you little demons jules here for whatculture.com back again with another episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted choose your own adventure the weekly medieval theme format where either crown jewels of whatculture.com tickle is chosen by you yes you the person who went outside for the first time in absolutely months and instantly got sunburned ow yes you get to decide what list i dole out to you each and every week and this week we have none other to thank than the real ricoh all other ricohs are just pretenders you've heard it here first and their suggestion of video games that were pretty terrible pretty average mediocre video games but had brilliant stories and this is the thing as much as video game four bearers would like to have us believe having a good story does in fact immerse the player and keep them hooked from start to finish sometimes we'll actually play through pretty piss-poor games in order to see out a fantastic story and these are such entries on this list today so let's take a look at them as i'm jewels this is what culture.com and these are eight terrible video games but with amazing stories now before we actually begin i do want to state something about the title that i've just read out my boss said to me that he's not going to allow it to be just video games that had great stories but not that great gameplay he wanted the word terrible used i don't actually think that a lot of these games are terrible in the sense so what i want you to do is because i'm sure that there are going to be lots and lots of people who immediately start typing oh this game isn't terrible i want you to respond to them with you big silly honey badger did you not watch the intro because i'm right there with you i'm just a cog in the machine my friends anyway let's crack on with this list as i'm jewels number eight death stranding now the joke could easily be made that there's not actually enough of the plot that's able to be understood in death stranding for anyone to classify it as being awesome but at the same time what we do understand the very very small shards that do make sense in this very strange game are actually pretty bloody amazing sure sure some of the messages about connecting with your fellow man about treating each other with respect and how pulling together as a society is the only way to make true progress are about as subtle as a brick to the bloody face but you know what at its core those are pretty bloody essential messages i do agree with the fact that they hammered them home because yes they are good things to know and learn and have constantly reinforced in our society in case you had noticed i'm all about that sort of stuff and even when the game's getting abstract the one thing that you can definitely say for sure is that death stranding is never boring however you could probably say exactly that when it comes to its gameplay or at least that's what some of the internet would have you believe it does seem that the moment that people take control of sam was the moment that the fan base divided sharply some people loved the laboriously slower methodical walking mechanics and delivery mission-centric gameplay and others well they just hated being post apocalypseman pat and derided the actual meat of the game as being the worst bit about the experience but whatever your take on this title is we can all agree that at least death stranding was different and you know what in this day and age that actually counts for a lot number seven we happy few i wanted to love we have beef you so very much but it just was just a wet fart wasn't it just a big wet fart big stupid wet thought stupid wet fires it was just a bit of a wet fart wouldn't it in the run-up to the game's launch the world was awash with trailers that promised an uncanny take on 1960s britain of a small town that uses a wonder drug called joy to make them forget the horrors of what the locals did after the battle of britain in order to get the germans to leave their little island alone oh yes side note uh it wasn't rainbow rhythms the aesthetics the attitude the overall creepiness of the setting lent well to a kind of bioshocking blighty vibe which resonated with many it's just a shame that the gameplay itself didn't come close to scratching this very bizarre itch instead what we got was a title that for the most part just came with the trappings of an early access game i mean we got ropey ai we got recycled assets and a gameplay loop that was just stretched out because it was just based on one single idea and it drove it into the ground this truly was ironically a world devoid of joy and yet the story it was still utterly engrossing enough so that many players saw it through to the end regardless of the grind that it put you through to get there coming out the other side of this game and learning of the fate of wellington wells was pretty brilliant but unfortunately the gameplay getting you from point a to point b that was a bit of a slog number six brink so brink for those of you who have not played it is an fps but instead of standing for first person shooter here it stands for flippin parkour shooter and it takes place on a man-made island called the ark the original design for this monolithic structure was that it was going to be a self-contained city that would be self-sufficient when it came to resources and power yet somewhere in our human timeline global warming causes the waters to flood most of the world and leaves only pockets of survivors rumors then begin to swirl that the ark is still active and so many seek out its safety and supplies this results in thousands of people inhabiting a structure that was not made for this many and soon the ark becomes a tinderbox waiting to ignite from raging class tensions and extreme divisions in wealth that sounds pretty bloody epic right it's basically like high-rise if it was made into a video game it's got parkour thrown into the mix as well and it's all about shooting your fellow man in the face sign me up but there's just one problem that story that i just mentioned before is not conveyed anywhere in the actual gameplay itself seriously the game feels like two different titles that have been stitched together as all of the tension nuance and intrigue of the setting is utterly blasted apart by the mediocre ai and ridiculous repetition of its core matches and the single player experience if you can even call it that was the absolute worst because what they did here was they just took the multiplayer maps and made you play through them again and again with ai teammates and they are awful they are the worst for one major reason there is actually a lot of love that's been put into the levels right and there's actually a few little details here and there about the wider story that's going on but you won't see a single jot of it because you'll be camping on the main objectives because for some reason your ai teammates have been programmed not to secure objectives meaning you're just gonna be like oh what a great world i'm in just sitting on the toilet cool cool beans how are you having a firefight over there i'll be right with you i've just got to babysit this for a bit it's a great story that's been let down by its mediocre approach to gameplay number five deadly premonition so let's set the record straight right now i absolutely adore deadly premonition and for all of its quirks and foibles i do think that it stands pretty proudly aloft at the top of the gaming pile as a piece of autumn masterpieceman's ship that's not a word but it kind of definitely fits the off-kilter tone of deadly premonition however it is also a title that from a gameplay perspective at least is utterly terrible take for example the shooting mechanics which you will definitely use a lot in this game and the fact that the auto aim pulls you to shoot enemies in the arse which makes it immediately jarring as are the stock sound effects for the guns and the fact that everything feels as if you're firing wet paper pellets at enemies instead of bloody bullets and how about them drive in sections a bud in which you have to obey the speed limit and can actively run out of petrol and be stranded in the wilderness there's realism and then there's being an utter arse and deadly premonition full-on moons you the moment that you open up the game case but however i know deep down that this is all part of its charm that its strange resistance to be fun is what makes it so utterly alluring and while i might grind my teeth into dust getting from point a to point b i'm doing so because the story is actually bloody brilliant the tale of a red-coated killer who only stalks their prey in the rain and the fact that this town seems so unwilling to help you solve the murder all add to this growing sense of paranoia it's a game that makes you feel like you've just ended up in the deep end of the swimming pool before realizing that you can't actually swim and while the gameplay will definitely try and hold your head down like it's a high school bully saying you're not going to enjoy this experience the actual story provides a sort of life raft something to hold on to a buoyancy that carries you through the rest of this tumultuous wave of a journey look at that metaphor i tell you what james sometimes i just come off the top of the head off the top of the dome off the top of the egg like that and i'm just kind of like bang out this is why they pay me the medium bucks isn't it mate proud of myself shouldn't be but anyway let's go number four getting over it with bennett foddy so simply uttering the name at bennett foddy might be enough to cause a few of you to have sort of vietnam war style flashbacks and i totally understand that because i too am one of the effective we've all ridden the snake all the way to hell my dude but you know what this is a safe space and now we're going to act as a support group and talk about this bloody bastard now if you're to ask me what i truly think of getting over it with bennett foddy my brain is going to tell my mouth to say the word masterpiece as on paper this game truly is something special it's an incredibly tough and frustrating set of controls that meets horrendously cruel level design this is a title that aims to keep you at arm's length at all times also it seems for as you ascend clawing and scratching your way up the mountains of random objects and finally into space itself you start to see what this game truly is about it's about perseverance it's about determination it is about proving to yourself that you can bloody well do this therefore it becomes a narrative that you create the more that you suffer through it and the dialogue that you have with yourself truly is the most important story going on here it's frankly disarming it is very very shocking to be put into that scenario by a video game and that's why on paper at least it's bloody amazing but like i said before that's what my brain wants my mouth to say when talking about getting over it with bennett foddy but what actually comes out is what the [ __ ] are these [ __ ] controls i'm going to body bennett [ __ ] foddy james do you want to do some musical interlude to chill out a little bit now no no blah blah blah blah blah blah blah 13 remake okay so i know that a lot of you will have looked at the title of this entry and just gone 13 joules are you absolutely mad 13 was a great game it was a great game you absolute fat baby you stupid boo hoo baby you fat ugly idiot you stupid cuck ow um yeah it is a great game look at the second word in the in description idiot it's the remake that i'm having to go at got too real right there and yes you know what my friend you'd be right it is a fantastic game however there is one glaring problem with this title that absolutely earns its place on this list which comes in the form of the 13 remake that dropped in november of 2020. a video game so bad that the 2003 version is far superior in every single way what this remake did was take a video game with a razor sharp storyline about an amnesiac assassin fighting for survival against those who think that he's killed the president and just smeared it with every single brand of dog feces they could find turning it into an utter stink fest of missing sound effects terrible animation horrendous enemy ai and gameplay that somehow feels even further back along the evolutionary chain than the original game what we have here are the perfect embodiments of our two deities that inhabit the choose your own adventure timeline on the one hand you've got the 2003 glorious masterpiece that is slime jesus right here this is the guy this is the big ledge the big man himself with peace and love he is both okay good boy but on the other side oh no it's the remake here he comes bigger get down get down get down i can't stop him coming down because unfortunately the remake has dropped and unfortunately it's probably the version that so many people are going to play because when you think about it if somebody goes up to you and says hey look have you heard of 13 no i haven't know it's an old game i don't have the relevant consoles to play this on oh look there's a remake going out i'll check that out oh what is this utter fire this skip fire this raging blistering pile of condoms that's leaking out into my console what is this is this what 13 is no it's beelzer blob okay 2003 good 2020 bad long story short i wish that i could be hit with a dose of amnesia so i could forget that that game exists and just remember the 2003 times what happened in 2003 uh funeral for a friend was still big did they release hours in 2003 or was that 2006. i'm gonna have to let that apache hold on yeah so a funeral for a friend was around casually dressed in a deep conversation was out then that was an absolute banger of an album and if you disagree with me well it's your own opinion number two ride to hell retribution right okay so i can almost hear the entire comment section just hammering their keyboards into dust right now saying what the hell jules are you going insane and yes i am but also just give me a moment and i'll explain i know that ride to hell retribution is a terrible game in fact it might well be one of the worst games that i've ever had the displeasure to play it is a broken mess of shoddy fighting and driving sections and genuinely feels like the budget for this title was whatever could be scrounged out of the back of a bloody couch as only this lack of care and finance could explain the lack of polish presence at every turn however deep under its well-baked and very filthy crust is actually a story that could and i want to stress could have actually been pretty decent now think about it a war veteran returns home to a country that's grown strange to him his family is being pulled apart and all he wants to do is reconcile with his younger brother though awkward at first the veteran and his younger brother begin to bond over their love of bikes and soon the pair seem to be building a once thought burned bridge however in an unwarranted scuffle with a rival biker gang the vet sees his brother get his throat cut and thus sets him on a path of revenge now that actually sounds pretty decent right and that's because it actually was up until the game realized after the first five minute mark that it had blown all of its story wad everywhere and then just decided to kick the piss out of your patience for the next umpteen hours it's a terrible game but i'm just saying story-wise it could have been good and number one the order 1886. okay so i want to do a little test with you all here today jazz and james please join in as well i want you to put your hand up in the air right and then take it down when you lose interest in the video game that i'm about to describe okay you're a secretive part of she put her hand down straight away fine whatever i'm just gonna carry on you're a secretive order of monster hunters the game is set in victorian england in which you use high-tech steampunk weapons and tesla cannons to blast apart werewolf and man are like and you're also about a thousand years old thanks to some mysterious liquid that you drink that makes you nigh on immortal oh and also some of the events of this parallel universe cover jack the bloody ripper okay so let's just do a little check here apart from jazz pretty much a full house right everyone's still got their hands up because that story sounds utterly bonkers and equally brilliant but now what i want you to do my friends is take that raised hand that you had in the sky and turn it into a middle finger and then start shaking it very very angrily because that is basically what the developers did when it came to taking that story and then applying it to the gameplay because my god they do not mesh well everything from the gun play to the lycan battles feels like it was copy pasted from the last generation of consoles and did little to show off what the ps4 could do other than aesthetically the story elements of this game needed much more time to be fleshed out but unfortunately this ended up resembling a right mutt so here you are in a world that looked amazing it sounded amazing and had so much potential and you were just running around just going hey have i not played this third person action shooter many many times over uninspired uninspired that's me firing the uninspired tesla cannon by the way in case you're wondering i wasn't just becoming a duck because not one anyway that's the end of the show moving on and there we go my friends those were eight terrible video games remember not my titling here with awesome stories i hope that you enjoyed that and please let me know what you thought about it down in the comment section below as well as your suggestions for next week's episode if you'd like to chat to me further you can do so over on twitter at retroj with a0 or you can swing by live and let's dice on twitch where i'm doing all of my streaming outside of work and it'd be great to see you over there my friends but before we go i want to talk to you about one great story that i know is ever expanding and changing right in front of my eyes and that is your story that is your life story and i want it to have a bloody happy end so in order to do that i just want you to remember to be kind to yourself take a break especially if things are starting to feel overwhelming talk to people about your problems because a problem shared is indeed a problem solved and remember above all else one very important thing you are a massive ledge and you deserve love and respect all right now go out there and absolutely smash it as always i've been jules you have been awesome never forget that and i'll speak to you soon bye

Channel: WhatCulture Gaming

Views: 470,103

Keywords: Gaming, Games, Video Games, PS4, Xbox One, Next Gen, E3, ps5, playstation, xbox

Id: xUCT6jePsAU

Length: 18min 25sec (1105 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 22 2021