Mark: What? I've never done anything cringe-worthy in my life!
Tyler: No- Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome back to the 7 Second Challenge. M: I'm joined by my two friends, uhh... M: Mingus and Dingus here [Ethan and Tyler] Ethan: Hey. M: And we gonna be playing this game And you may be wondering, "OH GOODNESS! Has the app been updated?" No. "OH GOODNESS! Has the app been updated?" No. While Dan and Phil have been slumbering away in app hell, While Dan and Phil have been slumbering away in app hell, M: like these other incredible innovators have "swoped" in and they've made another app M: like these other incredible innovators have "swoped" in and they've made another app M: and you'll, you'll be amazed by the name of this app. M: and you'll, you'll be amazed by the name of this app. E: Yeah, I'm sure that Dan and Phil are super concerned about their seven second challenge app
[laughter] *laughter* [all laughing] M: We're gonna do the main one, and then if that doesn't work and they're all boring and not funny we're gonna do the main one and M: And it's NOT because we're not funny T & E: no it's because it's not funny M: Then we're gonna move on to the knock-off version. M: Look at how close the app symbols are. M: Look at how close the app symbols are. T: Oh, they- there's, there's just like a slight color difference. E: Oh, they're exactly the same. T: There's just like a slight background difference.
M:don't know if you can zoom in here M: There's a *slight* difference. M: We're ready to go.
E: Oh, no, I need your face. [laughter] *laughter* M: There it goes. M: There is goes. M: Yes, I'm ready. M: Yes, I'm ready. E: Ok E: try to sell someone cookies in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger E: try to sell someone cookies in the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger E: GO! [in bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice] AUGG IT'S CHOCOLATE CHIP I JOINED THE GIRL SCOUTS YOUNG *in bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice* AUGG IT'S CHOCOLATE CHIP I JOINED THE GIRLSCOUTS YOUNG M: *normal* I mean, the, wait- *AS* I joined the Girl Scouts when I was older M: *normal* I mean, the, wait- *AS* I joined the Girl Scouts when I was older E: Ehhh time's up. E: Time's up. E: Aahhh... T: I don't think you went to the selling, you didn't ask me to buy them. T: You were just, like, offering me cookies. you were just like M: *AS* I got this- eugh, ay, augghhh
*Tyler and Ethan talking at the same time while Mark continues growling* E: Arnold came up to my door and I was just immediately confused. Ethan: I was just immediately confused *laughter* Tyler: AHHH CHOCOLATE CHIP Mark: Oouh thin mints... Ethan: I'm gonna say you failed it.
*buzzer* M: Well, fuck you, too. T: Well you didn't sell us, you offered...
E: You didn't sell us the cookies! M: Okay, you ready?
T: I- I suppose I am. M: You have to name three TV shows that you have never watched. Go. T: Uh, Rick and Morty. T: Uh, Rick and Morty. T: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
uhhhhh... M: Time's up! T: Fuck! E: Yeah. Wow. M: Wow you really didn't do that correctly M: I'm gonna say you failed that. *buzzer*
T: How do you name TV shows that you haven't watched, like, how do you know the names of them? T: Sing the whole of Jack and Jill in the cutest voice possible. Go. Go. E: *singing in baby voice* Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch apailofwater, Jack and- fell downandbrokehiscrown and Jill came tumbling after. E: *laughs* M: Well, you got the song, but that voice... E: Was that cute?
T: I don't think that's cute... Mark: I've never heard you do that voice in my life. E: *laughs more*
M: And that was awful. *laughter*
Ethan: That was really weird. M: *exaggerating Ethan's baby voice* Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water... *Tyler jumps in* M: JUDGES? Judges! Kathryn: It kinda was pretty cute.
Amy: That's cute! *ding* M&T: WHAT? M: ..Alright. E: Alright, you ready? M: Yes. E: Uh, okay. Say something to make the person hold the phone cringe, go! M: Aaahhhaaa, wanna watch my 8 million subscriber milestone where I cry a lot? M: Aaahhhaaa, wanna watch my 8 million subscriber milestone where I cry a lot? E: No. *laughing*
E: I'm gonna say...failed it. E: You have so much material, you have like-
M: WHAT? I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING CRINGEWORTHY IN MY LI- *beep* Old Mark: Gotta go faast! M: Gotta go faaaaast! (Murray Wyatt Rundus): ...so good having him on the show because he's a pro gamer... M: No, I'm incapable-
E: No, to make *ME* cringe. M: Ohhhh. *buzzer* E: You've got some- wait, don't move, don't move, you've got so much lint back here. E: What's goin' on, bud? M: Express the emotions of fear, sadness, and love using only your eyes, go. M: You can use the rest of your...mouth. T: I DI- GEH- GYUUH E: I didn't- I saw the fear, and I saw the sadness, I didn't see love. M: I saw, it was more like a surprise. E: Yeah.
T: I tried to do the *eyebrows* but that's more like, hey. How you doin'? M: Just every time I look at Amy. M: Mmm. E: Uh. I don't like the noise.
T: I shoulda done the Ethan "Ooh!" M: Failed it? T: Alright. E: Yeah, failed it. M: Okay, good, failed it. *buzzer* M: Did that make you cringe? E: That also, no, that was not cringey, that was... M: It was cute, right? E: No. E: It wasn't cute. It was just more of a... "Stop. Stop..." "Stop."
T: *Baby Voice* Are you ready?? E: I'm ready, I'm ready.
T: Do impressions of three cartoon characters and name them. T: Go! E: *Spongebob laughter impression* "BAAAAAA!" E: Spongebob!
*Nasally voice* "Oh, I'm Squidward!" E: "Meow," Gary. M: I wanna- what- I- M: Have you gotten that before?
E: Yup M: Are those the exact same ones-
T: I think those are the exact same ones you did.
M: That you did last time. E: Pretty sure, pretty sure.
M: Wait.
*Tyler and Ethan giggling* T: I think so!
M: Do a side-by-side! *High-pitched tape rewinding noise* "BAAAA" "Spongebob!" "AAAHA," Spongebob! "Oh, I'm Squidward." "Aww, I hate the world. I'm Squidward." "Meow," Gary. "DEE DEE!!" T: He got the exact same thing. He nailed it. *Ding*
T: He's the only person who's nailed it. M: I don't know if- E: I think I am the only person who's nailed it. M: Well... E: Okay, ready?
M: Yes.
E: Okay! E: Uh. Exercise- E: Oh, oh. Exorcise the person holding the camera, GO! M: Uh.. OH we've gotta work out your lower lumbar... *dissolves into laughter* E, through giggles: No... *laughter* E: Wrong, EXORCISM, not exercise... *various "oh"s of realisation* *more laughter* M: Well... E: It said EXORCISE... which I-I said *arguing* T: His interpretations were perfectly valid I say he 'nailed it'! M: I think, I failed it...*voice dissolves into giggles* *there's a lot of laughter* E: I'll give you that one *ding* M: Ok, alright. Scream in five different ways. GO! T: *screams in seven different tones* T: THERE HAS TO BE 5 DIFFERENT WAYS
E: Well, I heard, the first one was like uh, was very warbly. M: What was tha-
T: That was me switching breath! M: Yeah, I thought, I thought that was one scream E: You gotta differentiate the screams
T: YEAH I DIDN'T, yeah you have to admit that M: Yeah, hang on, hang on. Let's do a slow-motion replay. *slow-motion screams of Tyler* M: We don't have the answer. *laughing* M: I"ll give it to ya, I'll give it to ya *ding!* T: YEAH MY FIRST 'NAILED IT'! M: Nailed it, okay T: Sing about what you had for breakfast like a choir boy, GO E, singing: I had cereal for breakfast, added in some milk, E: The exact same thing I did last time *voice cut off by laughter from M and T* E: GODDAMNIT DAN AND PHIL UPDATE YOUR APP! *buzzer sounds* *continues laughing* T: There's a slight difference there's less after tone to it but I'll agree, it sounds very similar. E: I kinda- M: WHOA, Wait, what's the fucking after tone? T: Like, the end of it, like, like, (Laughter) E: It's the- T: Like ask that- (unintelligible statements) E: It's the tone that you feel you should have sung in after you sang. (Still laughing) T: No, it's like, it's like the ending of a word accent sort of thing. E: Oh M: Okay i have to Google aftertone "Aftertones is the eighth album by American singer/songwriter Janis Ian, recorded 1975..."
T: THAT'S NOT THE DEFINITION! E: Because it's not a word! M: There ISN'T a definition T: Wa-wa-wa-wait, one word or two words? Or hyphenated- E: Just type in "define aftertone" M: Yeah, "define aftertone" I'm doing this as one word M: *repeats earlier result* T: GOD DANG IT HOW E: Ok, ready? You'll be able to do this one. E: Alright, describe a conspiracy theory about where babies come from. GO M: Uh, babies are actually manufactured by clouds then sent rocketing down in rain. M: It's like, babies rise out of the ocean then come back down, the governments hiding it all. E: Yeah, I'd believe that. *ding!* M: Alright, so, spell each letter of your name using your body and call it out like a cheerleader. GO T: T! Y! *struggles* L! E! R! M: GOT IT IN! YOU GOT IT IN! I think you got it E: Yeah, the fir- the 'T' was a little iffy though T: I went like this! E: Yeah, but you spread your legs out more so it looks kinda like a 'X' M: Xyler. T: Xyler. M: I'm Xyler. M: IT'S YOUR EVIL TWIN T: Dark! It's my Dark! *laughter* M: i want fanart of Xyler. Right, right now. T: Nailed it! M: Ok, I'll give it to you *ding!* T: WHOOHOO! T: Beatbox a drum solo, GO E: BOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOPSCH *laughter* E: It's ~In the air tonight~ by Phil Collins T: I wouldn't call that a drum solo, though. M: Yeah it sounds like- it sounds like a lead in T & E: Yeah... *Buzzer* T: Failed it. M: WHAT? Oh yeah. E: I get one of those- T: NOT YOU! M: No, I know, it's- T: yeah *nods are exchanged* *Tyler laughing* E: Ready? M: Yes E: Say the alphabet using the voice of Darth Vader, GO M *In a horrible Darth voice* alphabet *Tyler laughs* M: The alphabet E: Nah. M: OH COME ON, I'M NOT GONNA DO THE WHOLE GODDAMN ALPHABET E: I'm gonna say... No. M: I-YOU SAID, SAY "THE ALPHABET" T: You didn't say "the"- M: I- I SAID IT AGAIN AFTERWARDS WITH THE "THE" T: But I didn't even think- Was that Darth Vader's voice? *Ethan makes a disagreeing noise* M: *deep breathing* The alphabet E: Ahh T: Luke I am your Father M *Still in a terrible Darth voice*: Luke, Luke. Read the alphabet E: I'm personally gonna say that he failed it but I'm up for, like, a majority vote thing here, so M: That's why we have judges. E: All for fail? A: I think you failed it, but because of the voice. Not because of the alphabet. E: I- M: Uh, I will accept that, yeah that voice was atrocious *buzzer* T: Spell cryogenic, GO C-R-Y-O-G-E-N-I-T-I-C *buzzer* M: OK, so we've got a lot of duplicates here, which is a problem because Dan and Phil hasn't updated their app M: *stutters* HAVEN'T. HAVEN'T updated their app- Look my grammar sucks, but they're assholes. *Laughter* M: I take that back, Dan and Phil are not assholes, but... They're lazy T: Forgetful! M: No, they don't care about their fans. T/E: NO! *Laughter* M: Aahh M: Alright, so. Either way, this app hasn't been updated in too long, so we're gonna check out the knock-off versions M: Goddamnit I clicked on the menu, I got an AD The clock doesn't actually do anything, it just goes and then loops back around. E: Oh and it also give you nine seconds. *laughter* T: I think. I think. T: I think it's telling you, you have two seconds to read that they have second- seven to do it. M: No no no no no. That's not even a working button. *Laughter* M: Alright you know what? We're gonna give this a chance. Because this is the world you've left us in! Dan and Phil! E: Now we have Nine seconds! Nine! M: Nine seconds!
T: It's the niner second challenge. M: NINE! Look at this shit! You seeing this? This is the wha- this is what you've done. This app has like- four hundred ratings of Four stars. T: Yeah... E: Alright, I'm gonna put a twist on this. T: Getting a nice- E: I'm gonna do a twist on this. M: Your knee. T: I can do stuff! E: I'm going to say this thing and then I'll tell you when to go. "Do an impression of three youtubers, BUT! It can't be me, Mark, Bob, Wade or Jack." aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I have to wait for it to loop back. Go! E: And you're done. M: What di- E: You can't do a single other youtuber?
T: I DON'T KNOW! M: What- DAN AND PHIL! I've never really listened to them ANY. Any British youtuber you go, "Good day, Mate." M: You have more friends! E: You do, uh T: I COULDN'T THINK OF THEM! M:So many E: You failed it T: I know I did *Buzzer* Name three toothpaste flavors you wish existed, go. M: Uhh, barbecue and gravy. Biscuits and needles. *Laughs* Umm An avalanche when it hits your face. T: You failed, it went over seven seconds.*Buzzer* E: Biscuits and NEEDLES? *Laughter* T: *unintelligible* E: What a punch M: My desires are different than your desires, that doesn't make me weird it makes you ignorant. E: I'm not kink shaming, I'm just- (The rest got swallowed up by laughter) M: I say I nailed it, ha got em. Oh boy, Kiss... *Snickering* Your... Last toenail, go. E: My last toenail? M: Your last one.
*Laughter* E: I can't M: Fail
*Buzzer*
E: I would have to take off my socks and -*The rest is gone under something of Tyler in the background* M: If you had been quick about it, you could have done it. E: Wait, wha- wh-what defines my last. M: Ohh, you could have blown it a kiss. T: Or the transfer kiss
E: Wha- How do yo- What qualifies as your last toenail? Is it your pinky toe? M *Matter-of-factly*: Cause the diagram even shows that it's a bigger toe being kissed. E: oh.
M: So I- E: And there's just a small person *Breaks into giggling* *Then escalates to laughter* Kissing the toe! M: That's a tiny person. T: I wonder if you could interpret it as the last toenail you kissed so you could kiss any toenail. M: I have-
E: true, that's purgatory. That's what purgatory is.
*More laughter* T: Create a new breed of dog and describe it, go. M: uh, it's a dog human hybrid that is called a "humog". And it's, uh, one half dog one half human, but it's completely separate. T: You nailed it.
*Ding* E: It's completely separate? *Laughter* T: The completely separated part wasn't in the seven seconds but I thought he met it before he said that. E: Wha- Hold on, wait, hold on. I want you to explain. M: Okay, so like, you know how a centaur works, right? It's not like that. Okay, so the human half , is like the top- if you like cut me off here, put it like, over there. *Laughter*
Then cut off the bottom of a dog, and put it over there. E: So what you're saying is, Is that it's a person that's been cut in half, and a different dog that's been cut in half.
M: No no no no no no. Look, I don't need my art questioned like this, you guys, you guys can take your questions, and just shove 'em, somewhere. Make a dog bark, in seven seconds. E: Okay. *Barks* M: No, MAKE, make, make a dog bark.
T: NO, make, you have to make her bark. E: (Runs past Chica) *Buzzer* M: YOU SCARED HER! *Laughter* M: You scared her, how could you? E: Well, didn't do it. M: Alright, lets say failure. E: Does Chica know how to speak, like on command? M: Chica! Come here. Sit! Speak! Speak! *Laughter* Excuse you... *Buzzer* M: UUggg E: Then she will start doing it too.
T: *Gasps* I know how to do it, hold on. *Runs off screen* *Knocks on door* Chica: *Woof* M: OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
E: Shit! T: Yeah!
*Ding* M: That would have been good, that was guud. M: I was very confused at first.
E: yeah. E: I was,
M: That's why he's known as the smart one. T: Ooo ooo ooo ooo *Laughter* M: "That's why he is known as the smart one, ooo ooo!" So, I think the moral of this story here is that, Dan and Phil update your god damn app! It IS fun, and we enjoy it, but man. Come on... T: We want new stuff to do. M: yeah... We are really boring in real life. Winning is a social construct.
E: That's right. T: You define your own success in victories. M: So, thank you everybody so much for watching, if you want to see more, turned out you like this. maybe not the seven second challenge because it took a year for us to build the confidence back up to do this one again But ah... just answer that question in the comments below. Thank you Ethan, thank you Tyler, thank you to our lovely judges in the background over there, Amy and Kathryn. And as always, we will see you, in the next video, buh-bye!! E and T: Bye!! M: Bye, speak! *knocks on wall* *whispers* She's not fooled.
