(upbeat music) - [Instructor] Hi Psych2Go,
welcome back to another video. Before we begin, we would like to give you a huge thanks for supporting Psych2Go. Our mission is to make psychology and mental health more
accessible to everyone. Now, let's begin. Which would you rather
hear someone say to you, I love you, or I'm in love with you? Do you think that there's even
a difference between the two? Most people don't realize it. Loving someone and being in love with them can actually mean two
very different things. Here are seven main differences between love and being in love. They can help you better
distinguish between the two. Number one, choice versus emotion. Loving someone is a conscious choice. But falling in love with someone is not something we
have much control over. That's why you might
find yourself attracted to people you maybe
shouldn't be attracted to, or people who don't feel the same way or people we don't know very well, or people we don't have
anything in common with. It's a matter of emotional chemistry. But when you love someone like a close friend or family member, it's because you've decided to do so. And in that same way, you can also decide to stop loving them and
cut them out of your life. But it's not so easy
to stop having feelings for someone you're in love with. Two gradual versus immediate. Have you ever met someone
you felt so strongly about? You were sure they were
the one was seeing them, being with them, and even
just thinking about them enough to overwhelm you with emotion? That's what being in love feels like. It's passionate, intense
and almost immediate. It can take you by surprise and
come at you with no warning. But love, on the other hand,
tends to grow slowly over time. And though it doesn't often happen as quickly or as intensely
when you first meet with every conversation and
meaningful moment shared, it grows stronger and stronger until you find that you
care about them deeply. Number three, lasting versus fleeting. Another key difference
between love and being in love is that people tend to fall out of love just as easily as they fall in love. Whether it's because of a disagreement, a mistake or an unearthed,
unattractive quality. Being in love can be as fickle and fragile as it is ardent and exciting. Research even shows that
this kind of passionate love usually peaks within the
first six to 12 months and often ends not long after. Love on the other hand, is
more steadfast and enduring. Because it only grows stronger over time. It doesn't have as many highs and lows, but rather it's built
on a strong foundation of comfortable companionship and openness. Four, challenging versus easy. A lot of people buy into the idea that love shouldn't be hard. But that's actually only half to. Being in love with someone is easy because it's mostly a matter
of chemistry and attraction. When you're in love with someone, all you care about is that
high that they give you, the butterflies in your stomach,
the pounding of your heart and the romantic sparks
between the two of you. It makes it seem like everything just effortlessly falls into place. But that feeling doesn't last forever. When you truly love someone and aren't just in love with them, it takes a lot of effort
to make things work. You'll have conflicts and compromise. But through it all, you'll stand
by each other side by side. Five, sacrifice versus support. Would you be willing to give
up everything for your crush? Would you make sacrifices for them and give up your own
happiness just for their sake? Truth be told, most of
us would probably say no. Because even though you feel
infatuated with this person, deep down inside, we know
will only come to regret it once our feelings for them fade away. You support them and
want them to be happy, but you're not willing to put in the work to be the one that makes them happy. The truth is, love sometimes
means having to be selfless, and putting your loved ones
needs ahead of your own. That means making them
a priority in your life and caring about them just as much as you care about yourself. Sex partnership versus ownership. More often than not, when we have intense romantic
feelings about someone, we become possessive of them. Because we want them to
be ours and only ours. We easily get jealous and
crave constant reassurance from them that we are there one and only. Sometimes these feelings
can even turn us paranoid and overly controlling if
we let them get out of hand. But loving someone is
more about partnership than it is about ownership. It's a lot healthier because
both parties allow each other the freedom to be their own person and make their own choices. And number seven, how they
feel versus how you feel. Finally, there's a matter
of how you feel about the person and how they feel about you. When it comes to being in love, it's all about how they make you feel and how happy they make you
and you stay in love with them for as long as they can keep you happy. On the other hand, love is more concerned with the other person's feelings, such as whether or not
they feel appreciated, valued and understood. It's less serving and more altruistic. Did this video help make
things clearer for you? You need to distinguish the difference between love and being
in love a little better. Let us know in the comments if you have any of your own distinctions. If you enjoyed watching this video, give us a thumbs up and
share it with someone who might find it interesting too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos and
as always, thanks for watching. Will see you next time. (cool music)
