5 types of narcissism you've NEVER heard of

hey everyone it's Dr Romany and welcome back to this YouTube channel on narcissism and understanding narcissistic relationships and healing from them and this is sort of is an interesting one for me to work on because I stumbled on an article that led me to another article and just when you thought you had heard of every subtype of narcissist there's more I struggled with should I make this video and just depress people like nah we could learn something here again every day it's sort of a part of my job I guess I try to read as much as I can about about narcissism and what the theoretical literature and the research literature are saying and I came across an article that laid out subtypes of narcissism as laid out by a personality theorist and researcher named Theodore Milan he talked about five types that were reviewed in his work in Theodore Milan's work and in follow-up articles by other people you ready for these five types very interesting you're going to say is this really something new you can drop it in the comments the first type Milan talks about is the unprincipled narcissist this type sort of feels like the malignant narcissist exploitative manipulative a liar cheater unethical arrogant grifter Vengeance seeking Dominator narcissist this is not news to you this is that murky dark tetrad Triad psychopathy sociopathy narcissism sadism messy place here's what we do know to be in a relationship with someone who is what he's calling an unprincipled narcissist is scary unsettling and can result in some of the most severe narcissistic abuse Fallout and coercive control stuff that the Fallout looks like PTSD so we know that one right so we're going to file that under malignant now the second one this one's interesting this is the so-called Amorous narcissist now this one jumped out at me because we rarely talk about this one as a subtype so let's just chew on this for a minute the Amorous narcissist gets their narcissistic Supply through sex having sex with lots of different people kind of being a player most of their encounters are flirty SED seductive lots of sexy texting lots of sexy talking lots of sexy being they are also seductive and how they present themselves to the world almost hypnotic in how they can draw someone in in that sort of sensual way sex may also be how they run their entire narcissistic hustle seducing someone to take advantage of them financially or seducing someone because they have status or they have connections the Amorous narcissistic person will likely always cheat they have no capacity for monogamy or true intimacy but they'll tell people that they do they will lie about their relationships and when I read about this type this Amorous narcissist it took me back to a conversation I've had a few times about so-called sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior and its relationship with narcissism while all people who have this issue of sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior are not narcissistic the ones who are narcissistic and are sex addicts as it were they have this Amorous narcissist Vibe when you think of the people out there who launch Lonely Hearts schemes and pray on people's hearts and wallets online they'll have this Amorous narcissist Vibe too the key to remember is that the Amorous narcissist despite trying to seduce or having sex with lots of people is that they have no Capac City for intimacy and these are shallow sexual encounters that are focused solely on the narcissistic person's pleasure or their manipulation a relationship with an Amorous narcissist is pretty much the infidelity Olympics you will be betrayed in every way possible they will Gaslight you or excuse their own behavior and you will likely look back and recall that even in the beginning it was their seductiveness that was the pull the very thing that was the pull was ultimately the weapon now his third subtype is called the elitist narcissist I know an elitist narcissist and there's sort of this entitled privilege I have a fancy family and fancy connections narcissist now while not everyone who grows up with privilege and wealth turns out to be narcissistic when they do this is the kind of narcissism we'd see think about all the different people on succession right these are people who are snobby their entitlement derives from their belief that they are special because they were treated that way maybe by virtue of a family's position they might get they might get things like ivy league admissions or other Eli type things on the basis of again connections and not Merit they might belong to elitist private clubs elitist narcissistic folks are obsessed with labels and social status and exclusivity and social mobility and they are social climbers unless they already at the STP in which case they sort of contemptuously criticize and deride everyone they view as beneath them however there is another arm of elitist narcissistic folks who walk around the world as though they are VIPs but they really aren't all that they sort of have a hustle Vibe where they might actually even insinuate themselves into fancy circles get to know fancy folks maybe work for fancy folks and then they behave as though they're sort of all that because they're close to those circles of power elitist narcissists May exaggerate relationships they have with famous or wealthy people and claim that they are more familiar with those F fancy famous people than they are the elitist narcissist is sort of a grandiose narcissist with a major social status entitlement and arrogance snobbery problem the elitist narcissist is actually pretty gross and dismissive they're often very classist a relationship with the elitist narcissist will just be an icky experience because you'll watch them behave contemptuously toward anyone they deem as being less than them which is just about anyone it can feel embarrassing and humiliating to be with someone like that Milan's fourth type of narcissist he talks about is the compensatory narcissist and the compensatory narcissist is his take on the vulnerable narcissist he calls this type compensatory because this form of narcissism they're constantly trying to compensate for their deep unprocessed feelings of insecurity infer inferiority low self-worth they may be actually more in touch with their shame and insecurity then would be a grandiose narcissist though and you already know how this goes down the compensatory part looks like the again the flimsy grandiose entitlement of talking about how much smarter they are than everyone that they shouldn't have to waste time going to college because they're probably smarter than the professor they maintain an almost delusional at time sense of how great they are having done nothing to to actually support that assertion and they will share stories about how accomplished they are or Revel in a past achievement from 30 years ago now when Milan talks about the compensatory narcissist he doesn't talk about the victimhood and the aggrieved anger and passive aggression that are such a big part of the vulnerable narcissistic picture but he does get at the idea of the grandiose defenses the entitlement and all the rest of it being an offset to the inner insecurity in relationships the compensatory narcissist the vulnerable narcissists are going to pull for pity you may feel compelled to reassure them you may feel empathy for their insecurity and it may mean that you keep enduring passive aggression and contempt but may find it difficult to leave because of their manipulation and the fifth type that talks about is what he called the normal narcissist I'm not so sure those words go particularly well together but sure it's his model he can call it whatever the hell he wants the normal narcissist is more of what we term the low-grade narcissistic person they can pull out the performative empathy they may be the person who wants to be in charge their manipulations and invalidation may not be as severe in fact many people may not even notice it they may just think that this person is just an a-hole or a little bit of a Jerk It's still all of the usual stuff the entitlement the need for Supply the consideration of themselves as special the need to win it seems what Milan was doing here in his theoretical model was to say that this is sort of the base model narcissist all of the other little models have a Twist right the the over-the-top sexy of the amorist narcissist the Menace and domination of the unprincipled one you always you already know better relationship with the so-called normal narcissistic person is that one where you're going to have some of those good days or normal days and not as bad days that can foster the trauma bonding and the stuckness but folks I think when I read through this model I wanted to make this video but it came down to an absolute truth once we slice and dice this stuff up here's what we know very basic top notes narcissism is on a Continuum from annoying and immature to menacing and exploitative there are multiple subtypes of narcissism from victimized vulnerables to preten gr pretentious grandiosas to martyy communal narcissists to judgmental self-righteous narcissist these types can mix up you can have a malignant vulnerable narcissist a grandiose communal narcissist Etc and for this reason there are so many similarities all of us who have experienced narcissistic relationships can have but there's also a hell of a lot of variability and that variability and the differences in our experiences can sometimes leave people wondering why your experience might be so different from that of others well it's because again these subtypes and continuums I mean there's just not one it's not a black or white issue and whether Milan or the DSM or a collection of what person personality researchers pull together we can spend all day talking about them but ultimately it's important for you to take the time regardless of the type to reflect on how their behavior affects you because that's what matters thanks again

Channel: DoctorRamani

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Id: PUQUzt9qo64

Length: 10min 48sec (648 seconds)

Published: Fri May 31 2024