6. New-Covenant Parent-Children Relationship - Zac Poonen

okay we want to go to the second section of family relationship and that is we dealt with husband and wife very briefly I encourage you to meditate more on that but let me remind you once again about the second part of Father parents and children again remember the principles we mentioned earlier about whatever you do do all for the glory of God so I want my children to grow up in a godly way not for any reputation in the church it's a tremendous temptation to get a reputation in the church and that's why so many parents force their children to get baptized before they are even ready to be baptized and I never told my children to get baptized I wanted them to come to conviction themselves and so I think all of them got baptized around them when they were 17 years old so I wasn't no hurry to get a reputation in the church over others acts children are baptized I couldn't care less for that it's garbage for me the opinion of people do all for the glory of God and never for any honor for yourself because if God sees your motive is your own honor in the way you bring up your children I'll say he's not gonna help you God's not in the business of helping you to get honor so don't asking for his help work on it yourself then but if you're seeking the glory of God you can be 100% sure that God will support you and help you till the very end so that's why I say whatever you do do all for the glory of God bring up your children in secret that in in your home they behave well and then they'll behave well in public that they learn to respect parents why does the Bible say God has given only one commandment for children Ephesians 6 children obey your parents in the Lord works 1 for this is right honor your father therefore this is the first commandment which has a promise attached to it among all the Ten Commandments no commandment had a promise nine Commandments had no promise attached to it one commandment had a promise attached to it that if you honor your mother and father and mother verse three here's the promise it will go well with you and that you may live long on the earth by living long on the earth I understand not living up to 150 years Jesus lived only thirty three and a half years even though he was the most perfectly obedient child it means living as long as God is planned for you to live on this earth for Jesus it was thirty three and a half years from other people it is 70 80 90 years etc but as long as God wants you to live on the earth you will live if you honor your father and mother that means God will control all the circumstances accidents and sicknesses and all the things that can come to you if you honor your father and mother it's an amazing promise otherwise how in the world could God give that promise if this person is dependent on external factors so he's a tremendous promise and it will go well with you which is a more important thing living long is just a physical thing but during that firstly life it'll go well with you and so I tell parents do you want it to go well with your children which parent says no he wanted to go well with your children then teach them to obey their parents teach them to respect father and mother never never to speak rudely to father a mother and if you hear your child speaking rudely either to you or to your wife they would they're probably more easily speaking rudely to the mother and the father is the father is a strict person a little more scared then you must say to your child what even if you are there doing the most important thing stop it go and apologize to your mother before you do anything else every single time you then if they speak rudely five times a day they're gonna stop the most important thing they're doing and go to their mother and apologize that's how we teach our children to respect their parents and never never to speak rudely to their parents or use gestures with their hands that are disrespectful and if parents are lenient here they got themselves to blame if that child goes straight into the hands of the devil and brings dishonor forget about dishonor to your name dishonor to God that's more important I'm not bothered about what dishonor comes to my name Jesus was despised and rejected of men but I'm very concerned that my children should not bring dishonor to the name of Jesus Christ and that is in secret when the devil sees the way my children grow up in my home I don't want nobody in the church sees them I don't want the devil to say in God look at this guy he came to be a sermon look at his how his children he makes them behave well in the church so they gets honor there but God can you see how his children behave at home I don't want the devil ever to say that the god I'm more conscious of the devil's testimony about me than about the testimony of other brothers and sisters in the church if you will keep that in mind that the devil's testimony about you is more important to you than what other brothers and sisters say because other present sisters don't see you 90 percent of your life the devil sees you all the time and he says he's the accuser of the Brethren I don't want the devil to excuse me but the way I brought up my children or I accuse my children because I did something wrong for God that brings dishonor to God's name it brings great reproach on the Lord's name when my children are not behaving properly so this is the fundamental principle and so in order to do that the primary responsibility is put upon the father it's very interesting when it says children obey your parents both father and mother they must obey and fathers in verse four it doesn't say fathers and mothers fathers don't provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord it's very easy to be angry with your children and when you do get angry with your children you must repent this because anger is a sin in all situations it is a sin if you discipline your children because they irritated you that's a sin to discipline them is right but we get angry and discipline is wrong and yet every parent if they're honest will have to admit there are times when we have disciplined our children in anger but I'll tell you what I did I also discipline my children in anger at night but I would always lock myself up in a room usually the restroom and say Lord forgive me I slipped up there please have mercy on me I want to repent a with it and I did that every single time I said Lord I'm going to come to a place where I will be able to discipline my children without anger and I believe I came there but it's some years but it would I would never have come there if I had not repented every single time I slipped up and I can guarantee the same will be true of you it will work for you if you repent each time and go before God and say a lot nobody saw me there nobody saw me just me and my child and the devil no I didn't lose my testimony before the church but I lost my testimony before the devil who is approaching you because of me because I'm your child and I repent I want to tell you my brothers and sisters your life will change radically when you're more interested in the devil's testimony about you then people's testimony about you it really will change because he's watching you all the time so bring up your don't provoke your children to anger by you yourself getting angry now this is I have some things I have to sometimes I have to explain this to the parents because some parents have asked me what if I raise my voice raising your voice at your child is not a sin and I've used this example if somebody is a hundred yards away from me and I yell out his name I'm not angry with him he can't hear me he's a hundred two hundred yards away and I have to yell for him to hear me and the same way this child is sitting right in front of me and I tell him drink up your milk nothing happens drink up your milk nothing happens I said drink up your milk he suddenly brings it up you know why even though he was sitting there in his mind he was one mile away he couldn't hear me when I said drink up your milk coming he was too far away he couldn't hear I had to raise my voice because he was so far away and he heard all of a sudden he came back to the place where he was sitting that's not a sin raising your voice is not anger if he could be a supervisor in a factory and you may have to raise your voice not because you're angry you're not angry with your child you love that child you're willing to lay down your life for that child but you have to teach your child 4pd ins so don't be and then yourself because you raised your voice that's because the child is super firing now don't use that excuse when you speaking to your wife she doesn't sit one mile away she's very close to you you don't have to raise your voice at your husband or your wife saying there they were far away in their minds it's with children only it's like that so I mentioned that to liberate people who condemn themselves because they raise their voice don't be angry and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord there are two things instruction and discipline you cannot do one alone if you do only discipline you are a useless father there are many fathers are very strict in discipline I ask those fathers how much have you sat down with your child and not in the Bible zero you are a useless father just discipline discipline discipline that's not what the father is supposed to do start with instruction take the trouble to study the Bible so that you can teach the Bible to your child then you discipline when they don't follow that its instruction plus discipline that's the balance and Mosel fathers are imbalanced they are more ready to discipline than 50 how much time do you fathers I'm talking about fathers spend with your children to teach them the Word of God you cannot do it if you don't study the Word of God yourself I wanted to make sure before all my children left for college and the age of 18 I wanted to make sure one thing that they really knew the fundamental teachings of Scripture all the doctrines of Scripture that they knew that and even after they left for college I kept on writing to them to make sure that they knew the scriptures because I knew that if they are founded in scriptures they'll be protected in an evil and adulterous generation and I did not only instruct them it says in Proverbs in chapter 22 and proverbs 22 there are a couple of verses here and for children first is verse 15 foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will remove it far from him this is what the Word of God says sometimes words alone are not enough words of Correction are not enough there must be some type of discipline and there are various ways in which we can discipline we can discipline a child by saying you're not allowed to go and play today at this evening or you've got to go and lie down in your bed now for the next half an hour or 1 sit in that corner face the wall for the next 1 hour or something like that it doesn't always have to be a spanking but some way in which we punish them it doesn't have to be physical but I would also say this never punish them by depriving them of food that's evil like saying all the others will get ice cream but you won't get ice cream that's not the way to discipline a child no you must be wise in disciplining what when the food is something they love to eat then just mention that in passing but discipline is important because foolishness is bound up in the heart of every child they're all born from the race of Adam with the flesh inside and it's amazing the rod of discipline can drive it far away in the other words in proverbs 22 is verse 6 which says train up a child in the way should go and when he is old he will not depart from it here is a promise with the condition for the promise to be fulfilled the condition is what we have to do train up a child in the way it should go promise when he's old he will not depart from it sly confessing our sin if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins what if you don't confess your sin then he doesn't forgive you see there's a condition attached to every promise believe in the Lord Jesus Christ that's the condition and you will be saved if we walk in the light then we have fellowship with him if we confess our sins he forgives us if you train up a child in the way you should go when he's already will not depart from it it's a condition is there ever a person who honestly confesses his sin and the Lord does not forgive him no is there any person who honestly walks in the light and can't have fellowship with God no is there any person who honestly trained up a child in the way should go and the child went astray when is almost impossible I say impossible because the Word of God is true don't ever put the blame on God for your failure I decided that when my children were small I said Lord if my children go astray I will not say for children are different what to do they are like that no I'd say Lord I did not fulfill the condition the way I should Mia maybe I was busy making money or in my case so busy traveling preaching the Word of God that had no time to bring up my children then I should stop preaching the Word of God because my whole testimony of preaching is ruined by the way my children are living very important if 1 Timothy 3 says if a man does not know how to bring up his children how is he going to take care of the house of God he's got no right to preach in the house of God if he doesn't bring up his children properly I believe that I said Lord if my children go astray I'll stop preaching I told the Lord that I'm not right to preach I'll honor your world I don't care what people think about me I fear God and I'll tell you this you you do business with God God will deal with you straight you say Lord I'm gonna take your word literally I'm gonna take it seriously I have no right to preach your word if I am NOT proud of my children properly now let me also qualify this by saying children sometimes go through a little up and down some rumbles in their life in their early teenage years that's because they are transitioning from child to adult and they think they are adults when they are not yet adults and the parents think we are the children when they are not children is that transition here it can be a bit difficult parents can be hard on that children and children can be very foolish and that's where parents need more wisdom once a child has crossed the age of 12 that's not the time for physical discipline that's over but there are other ways we must restrain our children we must be strict with our children particularly if they are girls and their immodestly dressed or going out of the wrong type of friends we sometimes they don't know they're foolish foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and we have to protect them parents are given the children to protect them so instruction and discipline when we think of God you know it's much easier to think about God as a loving father and the Christian world you know the charismatic world is especially God's love don't ever forget that God is a loving father you always think of God's a love which father will withhold bread from someone a child you know you'll never give a stone and all these wonderful truths which are all true but that's one side of God that he's kind he'll never give you the stone if you ask for bread he'll never give you a serpent of you ask for a fish all that is true but that is one side of God there's another side of God and that is he's a father who disciplines it says in Hebrews in Chapter 12 Hebrews 12 it says we're seven it is for discipline that you endured God deals with you as with sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline is there a father here sitting here who does not discipline his child you are not like God you should be like God who disciplines his children and says here what son is there whom his father does not discipline I'd say Lord there are millions of sons today unfortunately in the world who's the father's never discipline them they've never understood how to discipline their children you only see God is a God of love provide for them care for them provide for them and never discipline them you are not like God you're a bad representative of God when you only love and care for your son and daughter and you don't discipline them you're not representing God correctly you're like it's a to me the picture I use is over you know sometimes outside these gyms they have a picture of muscular man rippling with muscles all over but I I like to spin a picture of a man with one side all muscular in the outside skin and bones who would ever go into a gym like that well you will turn out like that but that is the picture a lot of people present oh God one side full of love love love love love what about the discipline side zero that's a wrong picture of God we must present God as the Bible says in Romans in chapter 11 the word behold behold behold always means look carefully fathers mothers Romans 11 look carefully in verse 22 Romans 11:22 what should we look carefully at the kindness of God once I God and the severity of God the other side of God if you want to have a balanced understanding of God look carefully at this kindness and look carefully at this severity if you want to be a good father and a good mother be kind and be severe that is the balanced picture of God or you know John 1:14 it says in John 1:14 that the glory of God was seen in Jesus Christ not just full of grace no it's balanced John 1:14 full of grace and truth kindness and severity and this is where we read the help of the Holy Spirit to really be balanced I've seen many many Christian parents father's the responsibilities on the father especially now if the father is a useless father like Timothy's father was then the mother Timothy's mother has to do the job of teaching the child in fact Timothy's mother taught in the scriptures he read that in 2nd Timothy 1 but that's because his father was a Greek businessman who was probably only interested in making money so if your husband is like a useless father like that who's only interested in making money and not interested in bringing up bringing up your son or daughter in the fear of God then your sister you have to be like Timothy's mother who had a useless husband who was not at all a good father to Timothy well the mother didn't just blame the husband said ok my husband's not doing the job so I got to do it I mean think of your husband is paralyzed and can't go to work maybe you have to go to work to earn the living for the home think of it like that my husband is spiritually paralyzed he does nothing he's only thinking about himself he doesn't care about the discipline and instruction imagina you mother you must do the job then and without complaining against if I don't think Timothy's mother spent their time complaining about how useless her husband was she just did the job ok my husband doesn't do it then I do it but ideally is the father's job the Bible says father's bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and one of the most important instructions that we have to give to our children is walking in the light fellowship is that with God is through walking in the light and I believe that's how we must teach our children and one of the most important things in that is truthfulness the glory of God is seen full of grace and truth the two most important things that I cared for and bringing up my own children was one respect and obedience to parents and secondly always speak the truth I don't care if you damaged the most valuable thing in the house tell me the truth I won't punish you we all make accidents we all make mistakes but don't cover tell me a lie I was very strict I know times when I've said to some my children and sat for a long time say you've got to tell me the truth here I'm not gonna let you go till you speak the truth to me it's very very important to teach our children to speak the truth because lying is there in our children from birth what's that worse let me see if I can remember it inside some 58 I think yeah Psalm 58 verse 3 where it says that from birth the last part of verse 3 they go straight telling lies what's the one thing that right from birth they go astray telling lies you see that baby crying as if he's in a terrible pain and you pick it up and it stopped crying he'd never wanted to it wasn't a no pain at all it just wanted to be picked up it was a life there's an absolute lie from birth they go astray telling lies and that is the one thing we have eliminate from our children this untruthfulness we must never punish our children for speaking the truth we must reward them for speaking the truth he doesn't matter what they did wrong nothing is as serious now nothing broken in your house are lost nothing is as serious as telling lies and if the fathers can understand that and you'll never understand that if you yourself don't value truth in your life you must value truth so much in your life so dear brothers and sisters it's so important for us to bring up our children in this day and age where there's so much of evil and if you give them a good foundation in all the years that they are in your home they'll be able to go out into the world and even if they have little rumblings and fluctuations in their life they'll finally become steady and if any of you have grown-up children who are going astray don't give up praying for them pray for them I often told parents whose teenage children are in the world gone astray I said pray for them husband and wife will you promise me that every day you will kneel down and spend at least five minutes praying for your child by name and you keep doing that and I tell you God will bring them back with an amazing power in prayer so there's never give up hope it's a great responsibility we have in this day and age especially when there's so much of evil in the world to protect our children bring them up don't just be satisfied with giving a good education a lot of people in the United States want to get a good education to my child good it's a million times more important to bring up your children in a god-fearing way not just that they speak the right language and behave properly in the church and take some active part in some church activity no but deep down in their heart that they want to live for the glory of God and the name of Jesus Christ that's what we should put into their heart and if they don't see the parents seeking the glory of God in everything they will not follow that no matter how much you teach them so it all begins with the parents who say I'm gonna seek the glory of God in everything in my life then I have the moral authority to tell my children to seek the glory of God there's a lot more to it the Holy Spirit will teach you amen

Channel: NCCF Church

Views: 8,047

Rating: 4.9344263 out of 5

Keywords: NCCF, CHRISTIAN, ZAC POONEN

Id: rwJHbFGhjHs

Length: 25min 49sec (1549 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 24 2019