Understanding Your Partner and Raising Godly Children - Zac Poonen - June 29, 2013

his words applied to our time Genesis 6 verse 5 the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually and listen to these words and the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth and he was grieved in his heart you know we know that God knows the future so there's nothing that surprised God about how man would behave and yet a lot of things in the Old Testament because there was no clear knowledge of God with man in the Old Testament a lot of things in the Old Testament that are written on a human level and that's why it's written like this the Lord was disappointed he was sorry that he made man on the earth and he was grieved in his heart because man had let him down so badly it's written as if God did not know the future and a lot of things in the Old Testament were written in that language in which man could understand so that man could feel how God felt in his heart otherwise man would not know how God felt so I thought about when God made Adam and Eve and he had such a wonderful plan for them and how he must have been so disappointed when things turned out the way they did and they had to be put out of the garden because they disobeyed him one of the things the Bible says is as soon as God made Adam and Eve and they were united together they were so excited to be together as soon as Adam saw Eve II said this is it at last I found the one whose bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh the very next thing the Bible says is the devil came and what we read there is that as soon as the devil sees a happily married couple United by God he's very quick to come and try and disrupt that unity to separate them from God and separate them from each other these things are written for our instruction and the devil hasn't changed you can be perfectly sure that wherever he sees a happily married couple he's going to do everything possible to create some misunderstanding create some separation between them so that they don't fulfill God's purpose God had a wonderful purpose in uniting Adam and Eve it says here that God made man 1 Genesis 1:27 he created man in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female so the meaning there is that there's something of God that can be reflected by the man which cannot be reflected by a woman and there's something of God that can be reflected by a woman that cannot be reflected by a man and so God made them need each other and dependent on each other and that's very important for every married couple to recognize that if God is to be manifest if Christ is to be very festive in our home there's something of Christ that I cannot you know reflect myself I need my partner otherwise there'll be an incomplete reflection of Christ in the home and it's this feeling of self sufficiency and I can manage it all I can handle it all I can do things on my own that creates a lot of problems and brings division so it's good to recognize this truth that when God wanted to manifest his image in man he could not do it with a man alone he had to include the woman to reflect his image and the purpose of every Christian home is so that people can see the image of God what God is like in a home that's our main purpose and even in the way we bring up our children etc the home is supposed to be a demonstration of the kingdom of God of heaven on earth that's the way every Christian home is supposed to be people who come into our home must get a little foretaste of what heaven is like and we have to say that most Christian homes have failed the Lord miserably you know when Jesus said in John's Matthew's Gospel and chapter 16 and verse 28 Matthew 16 and verse 28 he said that some of you standing here who will not taste of death until they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom and that's when did that happen that happened on the day of Pentecost there were some people standing right there who in another gospel it says who would see the kingdom of God before they died so the coming of the Holy Spirit was the coming of God's kingdom onto earth not to cover the whole earth that will happen only when Jesus comes but it was a it was going to be a sample or a foretaste of the kingdom of God that would one day cover the whole earth and that's the way Jesus expressed his coming on the day of Pentecost see mark chapter 9 verse 1 truly I say to you there are some who are standing here who will not taste death until see the kingdom of God come with power so our home and our local church is supposed to be a little demonstration of what the kingdom of God is like which is going to cover the whole earth a kingdom of peace and joy and love and that's the reason why God has given us the Holy Spirit and like I said earlier we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit in order to set up a Christian home and that is what Jesus referred to as the coming of the kingdom of God and so we need to establish our home and the principles mentioned in God's Word we have to recognize that the man is the head of the home and all this talk about equality that there is in the world today between men and women we do not teach in the church that the wife is inferior to the husband see the husband has to be like Christ loving the loving his wife like Christ loved the church but the Bible says the wife has also got to be like Christ I know in Ephesians 5 it says the wife is to be like the church so a wife can think hey that's a bit of a bit demeaning for me my husband is to be like Christ and I'm supposed to be like the church know as a word which says the wife is to be like Christ as well so that should encourage you and I want to show you that in 1 Corinthians 11 where it says I want you to understand 1 Corinthians 11:3 Christ is the head of every man and man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ so here we see God is the head of Christ and man is the head of the woman in the same way how a God in Christ are not really at two levels Jesus Christ is equal to the Father so what does it mean here Christ is equal to the Father yet he voluntarily took a place of submission to the Father for the purpose of redemption so what it's saying here is the woman is equal to the man just like Christ is equal to the Father and like Christ understood his calling to submit to the father a woman must understand her calling though equal to her husband like Christ is to the Father to voluntarily like Jesus did choose a place of submission so a woman is to be like Christ the example of woman is to follow his Christ's submission to his father even though he was equal to him even though he was equal to him he said I won't do my own will I'll do the will of my father see one of the wonderful things that Jesus demonstrated was the glory of submission which the world knows nothing about because the world has been poisoned by Satan who rebelled against Authority and everywhere in the world you see rebellion it's one of the characteristics of the days of Noah which we see today rebellion against Authority you see that in young people in the home you see that in wives and husbands you see that in society you see that in factories and offices in schools and colleges it's a spirit of rebellion it's a mark of Satan's Kingdom so if you identify what are the characteristics of Satan's Kingdom which covers the world then you can see that the kingdom of God must be the opposite of that the things found in Satan's Kingdom must not be found in God's kingdom the Bible says the whole world is lying in darkness and Jesus said you're the light of the world in other words individually and as a family and as a church we're to be like light light means the opposite of darkness so if Satan became Satan by rebelling against Authority that's how he became Satan the highest to the Angels became a devil in just a moment by rebellion against Authority and that's the first sin that was in the universe and when we see that we see the horribleness of rebellion we all know the horribleness of adultery in marriage you know it'd be terrible if you committed adultery and violated the covenant with your marriage partner but I don't know whether every believer every Christian couple has seen that rebellion is worse than adultery much worse because that is the first sin the person in the universe was not adultery it was rebellion against Authority and that's why Jesus came and did the opposite Satan was a created being rebelled against the authority of God Jesus who was equal with the father overcame that by submitting to someone who was his equal I mean Satan couldn't submit to someone who is superior to him he said I'll be like God Jesus submitted to someone who was his equal that's how he overcame Satan so when a woman sees that she sees what a tremendous calling she has to make sure that the spirit of the kingdom of darkness does not come into the home why does it say in Proverbs and chapter 15 no sorry chapter 11 14 verse 1 a proverbs 14 verse 1 the wise woman builds her house why doesn't it say a wise man builds his house it's a woman that builds the house why is that because she's the one who has to demonstrate the Spirit of Christ in the home which is the spirit of submission with which Jesus overcame Satan is the woman who has the privilege of manifesting that spirit more than the man of course the man's also got to manifest the love of Christ the opposite of love is hatred it's not by hatred that the angel became Satan it was by rebellion and so even though hatred is a characteristic of Satan's Kingdom Satan became Satan not by hatred but by rebellion and Satan was overcome by Jesus coming with a spirit of submission so there he demonstrated by the spirit of submission we can overcome Satan and who's going to demonstrate that in a home and as you read in Genesis 3 the devil is trying to enter any home which God has established any married couple that are newly married are happy with each other that Devils trying to come between them it's primarily the wife by the spirit of submission can keep that spirit of darkness away from the home and once then a little later when children come along they catch that spirit of submission and then they can submit to their parents but if they see rebellion in their mother against the father then they get infected with that and you know how children learned so quickly their language and the way they speak and everything they learned from their parents there's a lot that children see in us which we don't even realize they pick up so many things they're observing all the time God's made their minds like that they learn for example you don't have to teach them a language they just pick it up just listening to you talk in the same way the spirit of submission they pick it up or the spirit of rebellion they just pick it up you don't have to teach them anything they pick it up by the atmosphere in the home and so if we want to keep our children away from Satan's Kingdom as they grow up we need to manifest that spirit of submission which is mutual as I said earlier the husband submits to the wife in the sphere which God's allotted to her the wife submits to the husband is fear allotted to him and thus we keep Satan out of our home cause Satan is always seeking to get a foothold in into our home we must always be alert to that to me that's the very first message in the Bible to a married couple as soon as you're happily married Satan is going to try and get into your home we can say why does God allow that why did it's the old question a lot of Christians ask why doesn't God destroy Satan there's more than one answer to that but I think one reason one reason would be that God allows Satan to tempt us so that we can be strong to me temptation is like working out in a gym reading the scriptures is like eating food and if you eat food and you don't work out in a gym you don't become strong you become fat so if you read the Bible a lot that's good you eat good food but if you're never tempted tried it won't make you strong so God in His great wisdom has allowed us to be tempted and tried and allowed so many trials and circumstances to come into our life to make us strong even a man like the Apostle Paul with all the mighty miracles that he did the churches that he planted scriptures that he wrote I can imagine he was in such tremendous danger of becoming proud and who do you think God used to teach him humility the devil isn't that interesting you read in 2nd Corinthians 12 that to prevent him Paul says to prevent me from getting proud God sent a messenger of Satan 2nd Corinthians 12:1 to harass me I don't know exactly what it was it could be a sickness which is from the devil or it could be a human being who was constantly harrassing Paul wherever he went and God was using it he prayed if you see a messenger of Satan you definitely pray get rid of him Lord get rid of him and the Lord says no I want this messenger of Satan to keep on troubling you Paul because through him I'm going to keep you humble I'm going to save you from calamity and you know it's the humble to whom God gives grace and Paul was such a useful servant of God that God didn't want him to lose out on grace and God is the enemy of the proud and God did not want to become Paul's enemy so there was no other way that a wise God could do that job except we can say with the help of Satan Satan as messenger comes and troubles Paul in some way and that keeps Paul humble so there's a an example in scripture how God uses Satan to accomplish something in a mighty Apostles life that he couldn't accomplish in any other way so when you look at the trials and troubles that Satan may bring into your home remember that God can destroy him any moment like that and if he doesn't do it and he allows him to come in cause some trouble or irritation the purposes that you might fight and resist it and overcome it and become a stronger humbler person and that your home will be happier now it doesn't look like that that God can use Satan to make our home happier but it's true it's really true God could make Paul a better Christian through Satan harrassing him then God can make your home a better home by Satan harrassing it now see that gives us a completely different perspective on the trials that come into our home stop blaming each other it may have been due to some mistake that your partner did but one of the worst things that you can do is to accuse him or her of being the cause of the problem it's not the root cause the problem is the devil and if you identify the root cause and say Lord you have already defeated him on the cross and so we just want to experience that victory here in our home I felt that the calling of a Christian home and of a Christian Church is to establish the victory of Christ in the territory of the devil we are living in the territory of the devil darkness and in that territory we are to establish the victory of Christ that's our calling and you must see your home to be like that Lord you've established my home to establish the victory of Christ in an area which is the territory of the devil and I'm going to do my part to make sure that Christ is Victor and Lord in my home that the light will always be there there must never be anything of darkness between husband and wife Jesus once said that Satan is a liar in Johnny I think John 8:44 Satan is a liar he's the father of lies that's another characteristic of satan's kingdom lying deception hypocrisy pretence pretense is a form of lying you remember when Ananias and Sapphira pretended that they were giving all their money to God which they had sold the property for and was not true what Peter said to Ananias was why has Satan filled your heart to tell a lie to the Holy Spirit Ananias could have said what lie I never even opened my mouth I just left the money there and walked on when Peter called him back so there I learned something that lying is not always with by speaking you can tell a lie without opening your mouth when Ananias gave a wrong impression by standing in line with all who were wholehearted pretending to be wholehearted he was lying so that's part of Satan's Kingdom that's why Peter said to Ananias Satan has filled your heart to tell a lie without opening your mouth by pretending and there's a great danger in husband-wife relationships of that type of pretense I believe that's what we see in picture form when Adam and Eve as soon as they sin try to cover themselves with leaves who are they covering themselves from there were no other human beings in the garden there was no need for them to cover themselves from each other but that's one of the things sin does they immediately want to cover something in their life which they felt they were a bit embarrassed about they didn't want the other person to see some area of their life symbolically it spoke of a husband and wife you know hiding something from each other whereas before sin came they were just open with each other it's one of the results of sin you know we feel that if my partner knows everything about me he won't accept me if she knows everything about me what she won't accept me if he knows everything about me he won't accept me now I'm not talking about confession of our past sins don't misunderstand me my personal belief is that if you have confessed your sins in your unmarried days to God you don't necessarily have to confess that to each other the blood of Jesus has blotted it out and the Lord says I will not remember your sin anymore and I personally do not encourage anyone even husband-wife to confess sins that God says I will not remember it's gone now I know there are people who have a different view for me on this but that is my view I believe with it what God's forgiving and says I will not remember we should not bring up and burden our partner with things that God himself has blotted out I personally think that's foolish teaching of psychology more than Scripture psychology even teaches that we must confess our sins in groups there are Christians following these wrong teachings it's they feel that if you if you humiliate yourself like that and let yourself be ashamed by opening up and confessing things that other people have got nothing to do with that'll have that shame will help you not to commit it there are groups like this even in Christendom they talk about accountability groups you know be accountable have a little group that you're accountable for and two or three brothers save you're accountable to each other and they confess their sins to each other not since they committed against each other but private sins they say hey I'm not able to overcome this maybe I'll share this with my accountability group and then you seek to listen to this you seek to overcome sin by the shame that that confession brings that's not the way to overcome sin that psychology it sounds very spiritual but it's a deception we overcome sin by the grace of God and sin must only be confessing the circle in which it was committed as the sin committed against God must do I don't have to confess it to another person when people have tried to come and confess their sins to me I say listen I'm not a Roman Catholic priest don't come and tell me all your sins go and confess it to God the only sin you need to confess to me is what you've sinned against me that's what the Bible teaches so I don't believe in confessing sins I've got nothing to do the other person for example if a person's had a bad thought there's no need to confess that to your wife or husband you got to confess it to God and forsake it but if you have hurt your person and the other person then we have to confess it like jesus said if an anger you said something to your husband or wife or to a brother then you can't pray anymore he said that very clearly in Matthew 5 I find a lot of husbands and wives don't take that seriously Matthew chapter 5 verse 22 he's speaking about anger anger which starts in the heart and I want to tell you in all married couples anger comes up because we are two imperfect people join together and it takes a little time for us to overcome it so newly married couples I tell them don't be disturbed when some tensions come up and a little anger comes in your heart your mail may not express it but it's there and if you're weak you'll even express it that's what Jesus spoke about first step is anger in the heart and then the second step is you speak it out with your mouth and then the third step is you speak some more it's serious and then he says after that verse 23 you go to the altar to pray and the Lord says you can't pray you cannot pray God won't accept your prayer until you go to your partner and settle that matter nas forgiveness for what you did wrong then come in pray otherwise God won't even accept your prayer you know there are a lot of prayers that married people pray which God never hears I don't know whether you know that a lot of prayers for their home for their children and the devil ensures that married couples are kept in that state where their prayers are never heard turn to 1 Peter chapter 3 and says here in verse 7 1 Peter 3 verse 7 speaking to husbands where the principle applies and the wife as well you husband's likewise live with your wive's in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel since she's a woman and grant her honour as a fellow heir of the grace of life and if you don't do all that written in that verse your prayers will be hindered means your prayers will not be heard so here he's speaking about a husband-wife relationship that's not all that it should be and when they pray to God God doesn't hear they may be praying but it doesn't go beyond the roof have you considered that some of the prayers you prayed have not gone above the roof it's just me in your room you've satisfied yourself that you prayed and you prayed to God and some people glory in the fact I spent half an hour in prayer or one hour in prayer well you might as a logon to sleep or done something else that one hour is a absolute waste of time because it didn't go to God because there was something wrong in that husband-wife relationship it's very very important God considers that relationship so sacred that if something comes there in between them their prayers are hindered God doesn't listen it's very nice feel this is one of the most effective ways in which the devil hinders the prayers of many believers because a lot of believers don't even think that's a serious thing a husband who does not recognize that his wife is a weaker vessel God has made woman different from man because she has certain functions to fulfill that the man doesn't have to for example bearing children and all the sensitive sensitivity that she needs to be able to care for little children when they are born and they're helpless and cannot express themselves in the early years of childhood a child cannot express itself and so God has made the mothers nature so sensitive you know just like we use the word sensitive in other areas you know like our apple of our eye is very sensitive and that means you touch it it hurts immediately whereas other parts of our body are not so sensitive like that God's made a woman very sensitive so that when a child cries she immediately knows why the child is crying whether husband doesn't have a clue he's completely dumb because he's not made that way it's not a defect in him and God hasn't made him that way but the problem is because the wife has the sensitive nature that sensitivity comes forth in many other areas as well she cries easily he's worried about silly little things the husband's not bothered about and the husband can look down upon his wife saying why in the world she crying about that it small matter well I'll tell you why because she's a woman who's to be a mother she was a tough character like you she wouldn't ever wouldn't be able to help but she little children that's it and you may wonder why she's so bothered about that little bit of a few cents that were lost over there because she's a woman God's made her like that I mentioned that two husbands because sometimes husband you think I'm so spiritual I don't get disturbed by all that it's absolute lie the honest truth is you're a man that's why you're not disturbed by those things it's got nothing to do with spirituality I'd like to deflate these balloons that sometimes husbands have puff themselves up bring you down to earth to say there's really no difference God's made her and if you don't recognize it says here if you don't recognize that your wife is a weaker vessel you despise her your prayers are not going to be heard so don't despise your wife because she has that sensitive nature she's weaker God's made her that way that's very important and in the same way a wife can wonder why her husband is different from her I've had why I say why is my husband so crazy after sex all the time well I say because he's a man and he wanted him to be effeminate you probably would never have children then God's made men with a drive in an area that's that's not his choice he's just wired that way he's programmed to be like that it's almighty God's decision and if a woman were wired that way every woman would be a prostitute that's why God hasn't made that desire for sex so strong in a woman's made it very weak and woman has got a crazy after sex is abnormal but a man who's got a crazy after sexist absolutely normal I need so there are differences in men and women that we need to recognize and there's nothing sinful about those things is the way God made them and it's because many women don't understand how God's made a manner more any men don't understand how God's made a woman that's why they can be so many why she like that or why is he like that gods made man and woman different in many other ways to even temperament wise not men and women but God's made us all different temperaments and so when he brings her husband and wife together he makes them suited for each other that's what the Lord said about Eve I've got to make this guy Adam a helper he's pretty helpless without it so I want to make a helper for him and I'll make one suited for him I like that expression someone suited for him so when engaged couples come to me for advice I draw a little diagram on a piece of paper and I draw a diagram of a egg shell that's broken and I say look at these two eggshells with a lot of pokey edges on both sides that's how you both are you can hurt one another with these pokey edges but the wonderful thing is because it was one egg show that was broken wherever there's a projection on one side there's a depression on the corresponding other half so when you put those two together it fits perfectly it's a beautiful eggshell again so I say if you find that this person you have chosen is the exact opposite of yours in every way you probably God chose you for each other there's no doubt about that so if you find is your wife is the exact opposite of you you can be absolutely sure God chose her for you and don't try to change her if you try to change this right-hand eggshell to be exactly like the other one when you put it together it won't fit it's meant to be like that and that's how God gives us as parents as children come different perspectives on a situation that help us to see the whole thing better like a three-dimensional view you know that if you had only one eye you'd only be able to see in two dimensions we can see in three dimensions because we have two eyes not one in front of each other but spaced apart that's how they have these three-dimensional cameras with two lenses separate from each other just like the eyes so God makes man and woman to see things from slightly different angles that's how you get a three-dimensional vision a better perspective of a whole situation you know that a 3-dimensional view is much clearer than a two-dimensional diagram and so that's why God makes the wife different or I use another illustration sometimes say that it's like a man looking at a building from the north side and his wife is standing on the south side and she takes a photograph of the same building from the south side and you put the two pictures together they are completely different but that's how you get a picture of the whole building so if we defer to one another that means respect one another's view we can ever get better understanding of any situation than if it's any one person's view that's how a woman is a helper and that's why both need to recognize their need of each other to get a better understanding of a situation and to understand God's will see none of us is perfect like in a church in the New Testament church to provide a balanced leadership God always appoints to elders a one-man pastor is never found in the New Testament it's an invention of man it has come from the corporate world the corporate world is one CEO on top people who work underneath it the church has imitated the corporate world just like David imitated the Philistines in carrying the Ark on a bullock cart and created problems that was not God's Way so the church has imitated the corporate world and put a one-man leadership which was not at all it was true in the Old Testament but not in the new in the new Jesus sent His disciples two-by-two always to elders in a church because there's a need for balance no one man can one man show why one man leadership invariably leads to some type of dictatorship and so in a home also God's put two elders you got to see husband and wife is the two elders of your church which is your home you got to see your little children like a church and the two elders are husband and wife and they must treat each other as equals and discuss things related to their church the church is to be like a home and the home is to be like a church so whenever you have to decide something concerning your children one person's view is not enough we've had as our children grew up and they went to school in various functions and other things in school we had to take decisions concerning what we would allow them to participate in as Christians and what we could not allow them to participate in and my wife and I would discuss this and slowly when we came to unity that we would decide to allow our children to do something and that's protected our children through the years so it's always helpful to get another person's view and that's why God has made us different from each other so just a few words about bringing up children as well the whole purpose of God uniting husband and wife is we read in Malachi and chapter 2 why did he make you one in the margin of my Bible in Malachi 2:15 one translation of this difficult Hebrew passage there are different translations one translation is this why did he make in the middle of verse 15 why did he make the husband and wife one because he wanted a godly offspring that's a great verse why did he make you one with each other as husband and wife because he wanted a godly offspring so the whole purpose with which God unites husband and wife in most cases is that there could be children that will be godly and to have godly children it's very important that the husband and wife are examples you seen the Old Covenant the preachers only had to say listen to me hear the word of the Lord that is the Old Covenant expression hear the word of the Lord Moses has come down from the mountain the Prophet Jeremiah has arrived Elijah has come he will now give us the word of the Lord what to do in this situation but in the New Testament it is not here the word of the Lord but come and see that's what and the disciples of John the Baptist asked Jesus where do you live he said come and see this is the switch in the Old Covenant it was coming here in the New Covenant it has come and see not just here because now the Holy Spirit dwells within and so coming here would mean we instruct our children hey listen this is the word of the Lord don't look at us dad and mom we have pretty bad examples but this is the word of the Lord this is what you fellow should do that's Old Covenant in the New Covenant they must be able to see not just here it's very important to see this distinction we know covenant the New Covenant Moses had a pretty bad family life the only thing we read about him and his wife is they're fighting with each other on the way to Egypt and we don't hear much about their family life thereafter and he hadn't obeyed God in relation to circumcising his child but he was still the leader God called him to be the leader when he wasn't having a good relationship with his wife when he had disobeyed concerning his son but family relationship was not important in those days Samson could have multiple wives David could have multiple wives but they were leaders but not in the New Covenant in the New Covenant it says David could not be an elder in a new covenant church did you know that because David had 8 wives in the New Covenant it says if you have two wives you can't be an elder so a lot of these Old Covenant people weren't totally unqualified to be new covenant leaders so don't look at them as an example but in the New Covenant we have to say come and see like Paul said follow me as I follow Christ and that is the word that parents need to say to that children follow us as we are following Christ do we see do you see our values with which we live in this home do you see the things we give importance to in our home do you see how we handle money do you see the importance we give to money in our home is a very important area a lot of children go astray because they have seen their parents give the wrong value to money compared to what a Christian should have if they you know because the reason I say that is because Jesus said they're only two masters God and money and you can't mix the two you can't serve both he said you got to serve one or the other and there are many people in the world businessmen and many others all these Arab sheiks and so many others they their God is Mammon and they worship their God wholeheartedly they dream about Mammon and they live completely for money and the sad thing is many Christians live for God and money is very difficult to see a Christian who lives as wholeheartedly for God as those businessmen and Arab sheiks and all lived for money very difficult I I found it very difficult to find such Christians that I could point out who are living 100% for God like businessmen live 100% for money most Christians are trying to balance the two but a businessman doesn't try to balance God with money he says forget about God I got to make money where is the Christian who says forget about money I got to live for God God will take care of my needs so we must be able to say to our children follow me as I follow Christ and I can tell you from my experience in India and in many other places the reason many many children go astray is because they have seen their parents love money with all their instruction on teaching teaching teaching teaching is like mixing oil and water what happens when you mix oil and water you pour oil and water into the same glass or bottle you can't drink it and you can't pour it in your car either but if you had kept it separate you better put the oil in your car and drank the water this is exactly how it is is God and money the people who try to serve God and money are useless for business and useless for God the people who only serve money they are great businessmen and the people who only serve God are great servants of God and the devil makes sure that Christians don't stay there and yet we need money to live on this earth so there's nothing wrong in seeking for money and I compare it to this you know if if you don't have a job or you're not earning enough from what you're getting now there's nothing wrong in looking for a better job or seeking for a second source of income honestly because you're not earning enough that's exactly I would compare that to a young man who's burning to get married and looking for a girl to get married to what's wrong in that absolutely nothing wrong in the same way a person who is not earning enough money looking for another job or a second source of income to take care of the family is not running after money there's perfectly legitimate but a person who's got more than enough money for his needs still wanting more would be like a married man who's wanting other women there's something wrong with that and that's where calamity comes so the Bible says let us learn to be content with what we have and certainly my wife and I can speak about that because when we started our married life he had very little but one thing we decided that we'd be content with what we have and we'd never buy anything that we couldn't afford invite when we could afford it that preserved our home from getting into debt unnecessarily I'm not talking about mortgage and all which is not really a debt because you got a house there I'm talking about other types of debts incurred by buying things which we are not yet able to afford which we probably need to wait a little before we get it I know of number of cases of people who are riddled with debt for years I'm not talking about mortgage other debts because they wanted to live above what they could afford because somebody else had it we must have it you got to be very careful if you got a wife like that you got to say well honey I can't afford that sorry we can't do it it's very very important you know you know most of the problems in marriage come through money or in-laws and we must have clear guidelines on this once you are married decisions must be taken by husband and wife not by the parents of either partner we must not allow parents to interfere in the decisions taken by a husband and wife consulting them yes you can consult a hundred people if you like that's okay consult the elders consulted but when it comes to a decision it must be the decision of both the parents and so in relation to bringing up children let me just add this as well to me one of the great verses in bringing up children is James chapter one and verse five where it says does anyone lack wisdom and I'll tell you we must be honest enough to admit that we all lack wisdom when it comes to bringing up children I certainly do I mean how much wisdom do you have well in the age of 28 or 29 you become a father we're pretty stupid in most areas and on top of that we got a child now to bring up and here is a wonderful verse for people who are honest enough to acknowledge it Lord I really like wisdom to be a good father how in the world will I bring up these children to be godly offspring I can't do it I lack wisdom let him ask God can you do that that's very easy Lord I don't know how to bring up this child can you give me some wisdom but God will give it generously you asked for a teaspoon he'll give you a bucket that's what it means Lord give me a little bit of wisdom you'll give you plenty and I like this part he will not scold you margin of my Bible says God will not scold you he will never say why in the world don't you have that even though your soul never god never scolds I like that and I want to be like God I don't want to scold I want to correct but I don't want to scold you need to know the difference in correcting a child in scolding a child a lot of parents call their child they're not like God God never scolds it says here if you ask for something he doesn't scold you he will give it to you but it says here you must ask in faith Lord I fully believe that you want me to bring up every if you've got 10 children every one of them in godly ways and I don't have a clue how to do it I don't have the resources both of us my wife and I don't have it but you said if he ask you for it he'll give it to us and you won't scold us I like that and if he did something stupid and he come back to you you won't scold us that's a great encouragement because we all do all his stupid things even in bringing up children we make mistakes but we come back to God and confess and he won't scold us he'll give us wisdom and we must believe that he will give it to us I think many people don't receive because it says here if you don't believe don't expect anything from the Lord we don't have because we don't ask you don't need to read all the books on bringing up children just go to God say lord give me wisdom and remember that both of you husband and wife as I said in the beginning are to reflect the image of God there's something of God that only the man can show that something of God only the woman can show and that's what the children need to see not just Bible stories which is important not just a lot of instruction but the image of God that as your children grow up and see you how you treat them they get an idea of what God is like their first understanding of God is what they see in their parents and they must see that in you and boy we really need to be filled with the holy spirit for that and that's why that whole section on the home begins with being filled with the holy spirit and if there's anything designed to drive us to our knees it is children they will really draw us to our knees a God give us wisdom how to do this and they're one type of problem and they're small another type of problem and they're teenagers and so it's very important you know what it says in Malachi about father's hearts being drawn to the children and that includes mothers as well it's very important from early childhood that we become friendly with our children communicate with them that when they grow up they should not be distant from us I've heard of teenage girls telling their mother well you didn't have time to talk to me when I was a little girl I don't have time to talk to you now you can mind your own business that's sad take time with your children take them out once in a while by themselves one by one have a date with each of them father with each of your children take them out I used to do that sometimes I wish I had done it more take each of my boys out by themselves for a little date just to go out and have a small bite somewhere and talk to each other so each person gets a one-on-one time with father and mother John Wesley was a great man of God in England in the 18th century hmm I think his mother had about 18 or 19 children about 10 of them died when he still had 8 or 9 siblings and his mother Susanna Wesley was such a godly woman she would spend one hour every week not every day one hour every week with each one of her eight or nine children that means one hour every day at least with one of the children alone instructing and that's how you know many of the hymns we sing are written by John Wesley's brother Charles Wesley who wrote about thousands of hymns some of the wonderful hymns imagined she did more for England by producing those two boys then all the armies and Parliament's and everybody else they say that John Wesley was what saved England from a revolution like France had you know France doesn't have a king because there was a revolution that overthrew the king and the people took over it became a republic but England could have faced the same thing with a lot of revolution with hundreds of people killed except for John Wesley and Charles Wesley two men who turned many thousands of people to Christ and it's amazing that is all the result of one woman's labor so it's amazing her father her husband was a bit of a irresponsible preacher anglican priest but she brought up those children in a godly way like timothy you know Timothy's husband was a after what his father was a Greek businessman who obviously didn't have much time for God or for his son so his mother took up that responsibility and raised an apostle imagine a woman single-handedly raising an apostle that when Paul saw this young twenty year old Timothy he said he's got to be on my team what a commendation to the work that his mother had done on him in 20 years imagine if you could raise a son that by the time he comes to the age of 20 the Apostle Paul could look at him and say I want him on my team boy that would be the greatest honor any of your mothers could get and it can be done if you say lord give me wisdom help me don't blame your husband that he's not interested or your wife that she's not interested one person can do it alone the ideal would we both do it together but we have a great responsibility to bring up godly offspring that will put the devil to shame in that generation you know in the Old Testament all the Israelites they would celebrate the Passover and even today once a year and that is a formality they would sit at the Passover and the son had to ask the Father formally dad what is the meaning of this Passover a lot told them son must ask this question and the father had to explain well son our ancestors were in Egypt and the Lord delivered them by mighty hand generation after generation they didn't have a Bible those days but the truth of what God did for them was passed on from generation to generation till today we need to teach our children I have told parents whenever you experience a little miracle in your home you know some amazing answer to prayer you must make a little record of it somewhere in a notebook or if you have a computer preferably in a folder in the computer maybe a little miraculous healing or some supernatural deliverance from an accident or some type of thing where God intervened make a note of it you don't it doesn't happen every day maybe once a month another 20 at the end of 20 years maybe you have a little book maybe just 15 20 pages of the miracles God did not our family and you can give that book to your 20 year old son or daughter as a legacy say here my son might go something for you to read of what happened from the time you were a baby but God did in our home not just what happened to her but with all our siblings so that when she gets married or he gets married and has a home he's got a inheritance if he's heard from his parents of God's miraculous intervention that can strengthen his faith it's a very good thing to do I have encouraged people to do that you know there's a little book of mine there called the day of small beginnings which refers to little little incidents in my past life I never planned to write that book but we have a Malayalam language church which is publishing a magazine and they repeatedly asked me if I could write a small little article every month concerning some little incident in my past life so over a period of four years I had to write 48 articles and that's what is compiled into a book but I saw at that time boy it was such a job to recollect what happened because I had made no record of it why I'm sure a lot of things I had to leave out and that's when I began to think boy if I had just made a little record of just one small paragraph I could look back on it and I could pass it on to my children and say this is what God did for me your dad when I was small when I was young what an inheritance to pass on to our children take take my words seriously my brothers and sisters and let's we live in a world which is saturated with unbelief in God it doesn't believe in a miracle working God and we need to train children who will believe that there is a God in heaven who is intensely interested in our affairs on earth let's pray Heavenly Father help us to be better parents and to be better husbands and wives that our home will be a little expression of the kingdom of God on earth we pray in Jesus name Amen

Channel: River of Life Christian Fellowship

Views: 10,668

Rating: 4.9000001 out of 5

Keywords: understanding, partner, marriage, raising, godly, children, zac, poonen, sermon, rlcf, summer, conference, 2013, river, life, christian, fellowship

Id: wbNo_KqgHiY

Length: 65min 13sec (3913 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 01 2013