420 Comedy Compilation | Tommy • Edwin • Jay • Ben • Felipe • | Best of LOLflix

THOSE BROWNIES MAN YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL WHEN  YOU EAT BROWNIES ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY GOT THAT   POT LEAF STICKER ON THEM YOU KNOW BECAUSE IT SHOWS YOU IT'S BEEN MADE BY A STONER AND STONERS FORGET THINGS YOU KNOW THEY'LL BE MAKING IT MIXING IT UP DID I PUT POT IN I BETTER PUT MORE IN THERE. DID I PUT POT IN ALL RIGHT PUT SOME MORE. AND ONE LITTLE CORNER WILL GET YOU HIGH FOR A WEEK SO YOU TAKE THAT ONE LITTLE CORNER AND WHAT HAPPENS? OH NOW YOU'RE STONED AND YOU'RE HOLDING A BROWNIE NOW YOU'RE MY YOUR BRAIN  TELLS YOU NO NO NO NO NO NO I GOT SO STONED ONE TIME ON BROWNIES MAN I WENT SHOPPING WITH MY WIFE AND I ENJOYED IT THAT'S FD'UP YOU KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING YOU CAN'T  OVERDOSE ON MARIJUANA BELIEVE ME I TRIED YOU CAN'T DO IT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE YOU CAN SMOKE ALL THE WEED THAT YOU CAN  SMOKE YOU'LL STILL WAKE UP IN THE MORNING HUNGRY RIGHT I READ AN ARTICLE IN TIME MAGAZINE  RIGHT TIME MAGAZINE IT SAID IN ORDER FOR A PERSON TO OVERDOSE ON MARIJUANA  THEY HAVE TO SMOKE 900 JOINTS WITHIN 24 HOURS OKAY LOOK YOU WILL DIE TRYING TO ROLL 900 JOINTS IN 24 HOURS CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT THEY HAD  TO HIRE PEOPLE TO DO THAT SURVEY THAT'S THE JOB I WANT TO HAVE RIGHT JUST  SMOKE WEED ALL DAY I'LL BE LIKE I'M EARLY WHERE DO I GO THAT'S YOUR JOB SMOKE WEED ALL DAY 676. OR WAS THAT 767 F IT IT START OVER CAN YOU IMAGINE RIGHT AT THE 900 JOINT  YOU'RE LIKE DUDE IF I SMOKE THIS ALL DIED F IT IT I'LL JUST SMOKE HALF WE WERE IN LAS VEGAS ONCE MY WIFE AND  I THIS OBVIOUSLY BEFORE WE HAD CHILDREN   UH THE REASON I HAVE TO PUT THAT  ADDENDUM IN IS BECAUSE THE WHOLE   POINT OF THIS STORY IS THAT MY WIFE AND  I WERE VERY VERY HIGH REAL REAL HIGH IN LAS VEGAS JUST STARTED DATING AND WE ALWAYS  GOT OUR POT FROM GRANDMA HELEN MY WIFE'S GRANDMA ALWAYS GAVE US POT NOW THIS PARTICULAR TRIP TO LAS VEGAS   WHAT SHE DID NOT TELL US WAS THAT THE HOSPITAL  GAVE HER A NEW KIND OF POT BECAUSE AFTER GETTING   LAST RITES BY THE CATHOLIC CHURCH THEY  GAVE HER PALLIATIVE CARE MARIJUANA IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PALLIATIVE CARE MEANS AND I PRAY TO GOD THAT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT  IT MEANS IT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO DIE THE DOCTORS NURSES AND SPECIALISTS WENT  AH F IT I DON'T I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO GIVE  HER PALLIATIVE CARE THAT JUST MEANS GIVE  HER NICE PILLOWS BECAUSE SHE'S DYING ANYWAY   THEY GAVE HER PALLIATIVE CARE MARIJUANA   THE KIND OF MARIJUANA THAT THEY  GIVE YOU WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE DYING IF  YOU'RE GOING TO MEET SAINT PETER   YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHAKE HIS HAND  GIGGLING THAT'S THE KIND OF POT IT'S LIKE MORPHINE IT'S LIKE OTHER  LEVEL AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WE'RE IN A   HOTEL ROOM IN LAS VEGAS WE EACH HAVE  A JOINT TO OURSELVES AWAKE AND BAKE   NINE IN THE MORNING WE SMOKE EACH OF OUR ENTIRE  JOINTS BY OURSELVES AND I'M SITTING ON A COUCH   AND SHE'S SITTING ON A CHAIR AND ABOUT TWO HOURS  GO BY BEFORE WE REALIZE NONE OF US HAVE SPOKEN   TWO OUT I'M NOT EXAGGERATING AT  ALL TWO HOURS MOUTHS IT'S OPEN LOOK I'M NOT HIGH WE WERE GONE WE REALIZED WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE  HOTEL ROOM BECAUSE THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN THE CEILING'S GETTING SHORTER AND THE  CARPET'S DOING FUNNY THINGS TO OUR EYES   WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THERE NOW WE CAN'T HANG  OUT IN THE CASINO AT THE HOTEL IN LAS VEGAS   WE'RE BOTH SORT OF FAMOUS I SUPPOSE HOW ABOUT  THIS WE'RE BOTH FAMOUS ENOUGH THAT WHEN YOU'RE   THAT FN HIGH YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AT A CARD TABLE  AT PEOPLE GOING AH YOU WANNA TAKE A PICT, AHHHH THAT'LL SCARE THE SHYT OUT OF YOU WE REALIZE WE HAVE TO GET OFF PREMISES ENTIRELY BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO MY WIFE LOOKS AT THE LAS VEGAS MAGAZINE THAT  THEY PUT IN YOUR ROOM WHEN YOU GO TO LAS VEGAS AND SHE GOES OH MY GOD I GO WHAT? SHE GOES WE SHOULD GO TO THE LIBERACE MUSEUM YEAH LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THERE'S BEEN A FEW MISTAKES IN MY  LIFE THAT I WISH I COULD TAKE BACK GOING TO THE LIBERACE MUSEUM  IS NOT ONE OF THEM HOWEVER   I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ONE OF THE  WORST MISTAKES YOU COULD EVER MAKE PALLIATIVE CARE MARIJUANA AND THE LIBERACE MUSEUM GIFT SHOP AN $1,100 DOLLAR MISTAKE EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA LIBERACE  PLATES LIBERACE SHOT GLASSES LIBERACE COFFEE MUGS   LIBERACE COOKBOOKS HEY LET'S HAVE A  LIBERACE DINNER PARTY WE'LL INVITE   12 PEOPLE GET MORE PLATES AND WE'LL  WE'LL PLAN IT ON OUR LIBERACE CALENDAR THEY SELL EVERYTHING MY WIFE AND I ARE STILL HIGH  STILL FREAKING OUT WE'RE LIKE HOW DO WE GET ALL THESE PLATES HOME THEY SELL LIBERACE LUGGAGE  AT THE LIBERACE GIFT SHOP ON WHEELS ON ROLLERS SO YOU CAN WALK IT BACK  TO YOUR HOTEL BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU'RE HIGH SO THERE WE ARE LIKE PEOPLE ON METH JUST LIKE  PUTTING PLATES AND SAUCERS WITH LIBERACE'S PICTURE   ON IT AND LIKE SHOT GLASS' LIKE CAN YOU ZIP  IT WILL IT FIT FOR A LIBERACE DINNER PARTY?   AND WE WALK BACK TO THE HOTEL  DRAGGING OUR LIBERACE LUGGAGE   A FLAMINGO BOULEVARD 108 DEGREES AND THERE'S A  PICTURE OF LIBERACE ON THE SIDE OF THE LUGGAGE   WEARING DOLPHIN SHORTS AND RED WHITE AND  BLUE SUSPENDERS AND TASSELS GOING YAAAAAAA AND WE'RE JUST PULLING IT UP THE STREET MY FLIP FLOPS ARE COMING OFF BECAUSE THEY'RE MELTING MY WIFE'S UGGS SMELL LIKE A  SKUNK FARTED IT'S HORRIBLE IT IS BRUTAL AND MY DENIM  SHORTS ARE CUTTING INTO MY   THIGHS AND ALL I CAN PRAY AND HOPE IS THAT AT  THAT EXACT MOMENT A MARRIED COUPLE DROVE BY AND THE WIFE SAID LOOK AT THIS AHOLE WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET THE  OTHER NIGHT LATE AT NIGHT WANDERED INTO THE FROZEN FOODS AISLE JUST RANDOMLY I DECIDED TO BUY A CHICKEN  POT PIE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS BUT I FIGURED YOU KNOW IT'S  MADE OF MY THREE FAVORITE THINGS CAN'T HURT TO CHECK THAT OUT CHICKEN POT AND PIE I WAS VERY STONED AT THE MARKET AND DEVELOPED THE THEORY THAT ANY  FOOD THAT HAD THE WORD POT IN IT MIGHT HAVE POT IN IT I WAS FILLING UP MY CART WITH FROZEN POT STICKERS A COUPLE BAGS OF POTPOURRI ITS A SILENT TBUT I FIGURED MAYBE STONERS ARE CRAFTY IT'S POSSIBLE I THREW SOME POTATOES IN THERE YOU SAY POTATO I SAY POTATO I THREW SOME BANANAS IN THERE BECAUSE THEY'RE HIGH IN POTASSIUM THREW SOME GUMMY BEARS IN THERE BECAUSE THEY JUST TASTE GREAT WHEN YOU'RE HIGH 140 BUCKS LATER TURNS OUT NO POT IN THAT CHIT WHEN I GRADUATED COLLEGE I WAS LIVING IN MY  PARENTS GARAGE AND I'D NEVER TOLD MY DAD ANY   KIND OF DRUGS AND MY DAD NEVER TOLD ME THAT HE  DID ANY DRUGS HE WENT TO COLLEGE IN MIAMI IN 1969.   WOODSTOCK MARCHED NAKED THROUGH HIS FN APARTMENT NEVER TOUCHED DRUGS RIGHT SO THERE'S ONE DAY WE HAD PLANS TO GO PLAY  GOLF THIS LITTLE CHITTY THREE PAR GOLF COURSE I DECIDED I WAS GONNA SHARE MY DAD COMES IN THE GARAGE AND  I GO POP I'VE GOT POT BROWNIES IF YOU'RE INTERESTED MY DAD GETS REAL NERVOUS AND SWEATY ALL OF A  SUDDEN THEN HE GOES LET'S DO THAT CHIT BABY I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WAS CALLING ME BABY IT WAS   LIKE DRUG TERMINOLOGY ALREADY  SHOOTING BACK FROM THE 60S BUT WE EAT THESE BROWNIES AND WE DRIVE HIS  BEAT UP OLD CADILLAC TO THE GOLF COURSE   THREE HOLES INTO THE ROUND OF GOLF I GET FD UP I'M NOT EVEN HITTING A BALL ANYMORE  I WAS LIKE TALKING TO THE SQUIRRELS I HUMPED A TREE AT ONE POINT IT'S JUST VERY SPLINTERY I  DON'T RECOMMEND THAT AT ALL AND MY DAD STARTS TALKING TRASH HE GOES  I GUESS YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR CHIT BABY AND I WAS LIKE FIRST OF ALL MAYBE IT HASN'T HIT YOU YET POPS SECONDLY STOP CALLING ME BABY ITS FREAKING ME OUT ALL RIGHT IT HAS NOW BECOME DARK NIGHT IS FALLING  UPON US MY DAD STARTS TO ACT KIND OF WEIRD   KIND OF MESSED UP AND WE'RE DRIVING HOME  I SAID DAD CAN WE STOP AT STARBUCKS FOR   TWO MINUTES HE GOES YEAH BABY THAT'S COOL  I WAS LIKE POP WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY IN   THE CAR I'LL BE RIGHT OUT OKAY TWO  MINUTES HE GOES CREW BABY COOL COOL  I GO TO STARBUCKS I COME OUT TWO MINUTES  LATER MY DAD IS GONE AND THE CAR IS GONE SO I BEGIN THE THREE MILE FOOT JOURNEY HOME SIX BLOCKS INTO MY WALK MY DAD  PULLS UP ALONG REAL SLOW IN THE CAR   GETS OUT IN HERE WITH HIS EXACT WORDS  HE GOES BEN I'M FREAKING OUT MAN THEN HE GOT WEIRDER HE WAS  LIKE I FELT LIKE I WAS FLOATING ABOVE THE EARTH AND IT WAS LIKE A GRID  I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIND YOU OR YOUR   MOM OR YOUR BROTHER AND I SAID DAD  I HAVE A QUESTION CAN I DRIVE HOME? SO WE SWITCHED SEATS I DRIVE HOME I'M PULLING TO THE DRIVEWAY ALL OF A SUDDEN MY DAD GETS  REAL NERVOUS AND SWEATY GO AGAIN AND HE GOES   BEN YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS I'LL GET  A FN DIVORCE YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS   I SAID NO PROBLEM BECAUSE I KNOW  HOW TO LIE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING   SO I WALK IN I GO HI MOM GOOD NIGHT HERE IS EXACTLY HOW MY DAD WALKS IN THE HOUSE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA WHAT? WOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I SAID MOM DADDY POT BROWNIES I DON'T WANT TO THINK OF ACCIDENTALLY  KILLED A GUY ON THE WAY HOME STUFFED HIS BODY IN THE TRUNK OR SOME CHIT THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING MY DAD  WAS SLEEPING ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH I WOKE HIM UP AND I SAID DAD I GUESS YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR CHIT BABY FELT GOOD FELT VERY GOOD BUT THEN CUT TO ABOUT 10 12 YEARS LATER JUST SIX MONTHS AGO I WAS AT MY PARENTS HOUSE WITH MY BROTHER AND  SISTER-IN-LAW A LITTLE ALMOST TWO-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW HAVING A NICE LOVELY FAMILY TIME I DECIDED I'M GONNA EAT TWO AND A HALF POT COOKIES SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO  IN HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY I EAT TWO AND A HALF POT COOKIES WE'RE  SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM HAVING A   NICE FAMILY CONVERSATION AND I BEGIN TO DIE  I'M 100% DYING RIGHT HERE I KNOW I'M DYING BUT THEY'RE HAVING SUCH A FUN TIME I  DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT THE FAMILY TIME WITH MY DEATH I WANT TO DIE QUIETLY IN THE CORNER LET THEM ENJOY THEIR TIME SO I AM 100% DYING HERE IN THE CORNER AND EVENTUALLY MY MOM NOTICES THIS AND SAYS ARE   YOU OKAY? AND I SAID WELL NOW THAT  YOU BRING IT UP MOM I AM NOT OKAY COULD YOU BY CHANCE BRING ME A DRINK  SHE'S LIKE ANYTHING YOU WANT I SAID   BY CHANCE COULD YOU BRING ME A WATER  AND A TEA AND A SPRAY AND A GINGER ALE? SHE BROUGHT ME ALL FOUR OF THOSE BEVERAGES WHICH I DRANK VERY QUICKLY AND THEN RAN TO THE   BACK OF THE HOUSE WHERE I  BEGAN TO PROJECTILE VOMIT INTO A BUCKET CAUSE I'M A GANGSTER OKAY I DECIDED THE NIGHT WAS DONE FOR ME IT'S TIME  FOR BED I CRAWL LITERALLY TO THE SPARE BEDROOM   AND THE BED IN THERE IS WAY TOO HIGH MUCH  LIKE MYSELF I CANNOT IT IS A VERY HIGH BED   I AM VERY HIGH I CAN'T GET UP THERE I'M  GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR RIGHT HERE   36 YEAR OLD MAN I SAY TO MY MOTHER MOM BY CHANCE  WOULD YOU MIND SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR WITH ME? WHILE HOLDING MY HAND SO IN CASE I BEGIN SLIPPING TOWARDS DEATH AGAIN YOU WILL FEEL MY DEATH SLIDE AND SAVE MY LIFE AND MY MOM DID IT SHE SLEPT ON THE FLOOR HOLDING MY HAND YEAH IT'S AN AMAZING MOTHER AND NO KIDDING MY DAD CAME AND CHECKED ON US  IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT OPENS THE DOOR ONCE HE KNEW WE WERE OKAY MY DAD WITHOUT MISSING A  BEAT SAYS I GUESS YOU CAN'T HANDLE YOUR CHIT BABY FUNNIEST THING I EVER HEARD HE WAITED 10 YEARS FOR THAT JOKE WHILE I WAS DYING I WAS LIKE GREAT JOKE POP VERY NICE JOKE I JUST GOT MY MARIJUANA LICENSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH MAN WHEN POTHEADS GET MARIJUANA LICENSED  THEY ACT LIKE THEY GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL YAAAAAA! I NEEDED THAT MARIJUANA LICENSE  MAN BECAUSE I USED TO BUY   MARIJUANA FROM A GUY WHO WAS DOING HIGH SCHOOL IT SUCKED MAN EVERY DAY I  WAIT FOR HIM BEHIND THE GATE I'M LIKE WOW WAS THAT THE FIRST BELL OR THE SECOND BELL?  PEOPLE THINK I'M A PERVERT I'M LIKE WHAT THE HECK I'M INSIDE THE SCHOOL PLAYING TETHERBALL I REMEMBER ONE TIME I COULDN'T PAY HIM I HAD TO PRETEND I WAS HIS FATHER FOR  PARENT CONFERENCE THAT'S HOW STUPID I WAS HE WAS FAILING MATH I ASKED HIM HEY BRO ARE  YOU SURE I OWE YOU 60 BUCKS YOU'RE FEELING MATH OH MAN MY SON BUSTED ME SMOKING  WEED HE DIDN'T REALLY BUST ME BUT HE THINKS I SMOKE WEED SO WE'RE WALKING AND THERE WAS MARIJUANA  SMELL HE SAYS DAD YOUR SMELLS BETTER I USED TO BE A HORRIBLE PERSON BEFORE  BEFORE BEING ON TV BEFORE ANYTHING   I USED TO SELL MARIJUANA TO  MY SON'S MOM NEW HUSBAND AND THEN I WOULD TAKE THAT MONEY AND GIVE  IT TO HER AS CHILD SUPPORT BUT WE ARE WE'RE   BLESSED WITH POT ANGELS COCAINE THEY GOT THE  DEVILS BUT WE THE POTHEADS WE HAVE OUR ANGELS I WAS SITTING AT A STOP SIGN  ONE TIME AND COPS PULLED UP AND I'M TRYING TO LOOK AROUND MY  NOSE IN ORDER TO SEE IF THEY'RE THERE AND THEN FOR SOME REASON I NOTICED THAT  THERE WASN'T A LIGHT I'M JUST SITTING THERE SO I JAMMED ON THE GAS AND HALFWAY  THROUGH THE INTERSECTION I JAMMED   ON THE BRAKE THINKING WHAT IF I WAS WRONG? THAT'S WHEN THE POT ANGEL TOOK ME OUT OF THE CAR AND WALKED ME AROUND TO THE FRONT OF  THE CAR AND OPENED THE HOOD AND LOOK   IT MADE ME LOOK IN LIKE I HAD CAR TROUBLE BECAUSE WHEN COPS SEE YOU HAVE CAR TROUBLE  THEY DON'T WANT TO HAVE NO PART OF YOU BOY BUT I KNOW A POT IS REALLY GOOD FOR  YOU BECAUSE MY CAT LOVES TO GET HIGH AND CATS ARE VERY VERY FUSSY  CREATURES MAN YOU KNOW YOU KNOW CATS THEY'RE LIKE WOMEN CAN'T PLEASE THEM MY CAT WILL CRY TO GO OUTSIDE AND HE'LL I'LL OPEN THE DOOR AND HE'LL STAND IN  THE DOORWAY AND LOOK OUTSIDE LIKE SHE'S SHOPPING YOU KNOW I'LL TELL HIM DO YOU WANT  TO GO OUT OR IN WHAT ARE YOU DOING   AND HE'LL GIVE ME THAT FUCK-OFF  LOOK THAT WOMEN GIVE YOU KNOW LIKE BUT I'VE BEEN AROUND ANIMALS ALL  MY LIFE AND I CAN READ THEIR MINDS OH YOU WANT OUT DON'T YOU? THE FIRST TIME I GOT HIM STONED I DIDN'T  MEAN TO I JUST DIDN'T SEE HIM IN THE ROOM   AND I DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS STONED  TILL THEY WATCHED HIM WALK OFF A TABLE AND HE DIDN'T LAND ON HIS FEET NO BOY HE TOOK THAT ONE EXTRA STEP START PUNCHING THEN HE GOT HUNG UP ON ONE  NAIL AND HE'S HANGING THERE HE'S LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M OKAY THEN HE GOT COTTON MOUTH OR SOMETHING BECAUSE   HE HE TRIED TO WALK TOWARD  ME KEPT BACKING UP YOU KNOW THEN HE COMES UP TO ME AND GOES I THOUGHT I WAS GOING DEAF FK ARE YOU YELLING? THEN I REALIZED HE'S FD UP SO I GIVE HIM A LITTLE KITTY DRUG TEST YEAH I THREW HIM AT THE  CURTAINS AND HE DIDN'T STICK HE'S SO STONED HE'S THINKING LOOK I'M FLYING MAN NOW WHEN I CALL HIM IN FROM OUTSIDE I DON'T GO   KITTY KITTY KITTY MAN I JUST  MAKE A SOUND LIKE A BONG, SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP SLURP HE HEARS THAT SOUND HE'LL  COME RUNNING 50 MILES AWAY MAN LITTLE TAIL IN THE AIR THEN HE'LL FOLLOW ME AROUND THE REST  OF THE NIGHT LIKE A LITTLE CAT JUNKIE COME ON MAN FIRE IT UP COME ON I WANT TO SIT IN  THE WINDOW AND LOOK AT CHIT

Channel: laugh out loud flix

Views: 1,254,791

Keywords: lol, Comedy, stand up comedy, Laugh Out Loud, LOL Network, Netflix Is A Joke, YouTube Recommended, Recommended For You, dry bar comedy, comedy central, Just For Laughs

Id: O4LLHD14Lzo

Length: 18min 36sec (1116 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 20 2021